Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s02e03 Episode Script
Loyalty to the King
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time ICE KING: [SNORING.]
[LOCK CLATTERING.]
Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: Shh! Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: We are.
Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: Why does she keep saying that? FINN: I think she's traumatized, dude.
JAKE: Don't worry, princess.
We're gonna get you out of here.
FINN: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah! ICE KING: [SNORING.]
Huh?! What was that?! Darling, are you all right? I thought I heard a [GASPS.]
[BEARD FLAPPING.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Oh, I see what happened.
She broke up with me.
Well, it's your mistake, missy! This ice king's gonna be fine! [MOANS LOUDLY.]
Why did she leave? I put so much cool stuff in her little prison! Come on, old boykeep it together.
Hey, maybe she called me! [BEARD FLAPS.]
Please, please, please.
Doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.
No new messages?! [GRUNTS.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
This is where she used to do her business.
[SIGHS.]
I'm so tired of looking at this face.
[HUMMING, RAZOR BUZZING.]
[SIGHS.]
Heehee, not bad.
And now for some healthy exercise.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm forgetting about that silly old break-up already.
[BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY.]
All right, let's fly! Ohh! You fool, you can't fly without your beard.
I'm going to be alone forever.
Hi! ICE KING: Beautiful princess.
Excuse me for approaching you, sir.
You just seemed so approachable.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
ICE KING: That's funny -- usually my looks put people off.
[GIGGLING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
ICE KING: Is someone paying you to do this? [GIGGLING.]
Tell me about yourself.
ICE KING: Well, there's not much to tell, really.
I'm an ice king.
Oh, a nice king.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS.]
No, no, dear, you misheard me.
I'm not a nice king.
I'm a [TWINKLE!.]
A really nice king.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I'm single.
[GIGGLING.]
Oh, my gosh! [BEEP, CELLPHONE RINGING.]
Yeah, guess what? Slime princess is in the park, and she's, like, talking to a new nice king.
[MUNCHING.]
And he's, like, totally single.
By the way, don't tell anybody.
[TELEPHONE DIALING.]
There's a new king in town.
Oh, my goodness, I can't wait to meet him.
[INDISTINCT TALKING, RINGING.]
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
And I was like, "leave him alone!" And he was like, "make me.
" And I was like, "okay.
" And then he was like, "agh, my head!" [LAUGHS.]
Dude, what are you doing? JAKE: I'm just trying to get a signal.
It's like everyone in ooo is on their phones or something.
Oh, man! Ohh! Have you guys Seen the new Nice king? FINN: Nice king? Yeah He's single And he's ours! Now get out of our way! FINN: Agh! [FROG CROAKS.]
JAKE: Man, now we got to kick that frog out of his new home.
FINN: Nah.
Let him keep it.
Hey, if there's a new king and he's nice, we should offer our services.
JAKE: Finn and Jake-style.
Yoo-hoo! Nice king! [INDISTINCT TALKING.]
ICE KING: Ladies, I'll have time to meet you individually later.
Please, just stop squirming.
But this looks like a prison.
ICE KING: Pris-- [LAUGHS.]
Don't be ridiculous.
It's a waiting room.
Stop squirming.
BOTH: Nice king! Aaaah! ICE KING: Finn and Jake! You'll never take me alive! BOTH: Huh? FINN: You're the nice king, right? ICE KING: Oh, yeah.
I keep forgetting that.
FINN: Well, we will honor and serve you.
ICE KING: Serve me? FINN: Yeah.
We want to be your nice knights.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Uh, sounds Nice.
With my rod of niceness, I dub thee two my nice knights.
FINN: Yay! We're knights! BOTH: Nice! FINN: Who do you want us to nice-knights against? Nice king, I love you! Did I tell you that I like the opera? But if you don't, I hate it! ALL: Nice king ICE KING: Please! I'm trying to tell my nice knights something! [ALL GASP.]
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Come here.
The main enemy to the nice king right now is the disorganization of his love life.
FINN: Well, what do you mean? ICE KING: The ugly ones are all mixed up with the other ones! I need you to catalog them or something.
JAKE: [LAUGHS.]
But we punch monsters.
ICE KING: After I choose my bride, then you can go punch the monsters.
FINN: Managing admirers? We'll give it a try.
Let's move on to something easier.
Um, do you like drums? Um, am I supposed to? JAKE: She's dodging the question.
FINN: Are you fond of men with magical abilities? I'm really nervous right now.
I just really want to meet a nice king.
JAKE: You can go back to the waiting room now, ma'am! I screwed it up, didn't I? [CRYING.]
JAKE: I think we did a good job.
FINN: I don't feel good making a princess cry.
This is not how knights are supposed to act.
JAKE: Finn, knights are loyal to their king.
FINN: I'm still not sure.
JAKE: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Loyalty to the king.
FINN: Can't argue with that.
ICE KING: Hey, nice knights, turtle princess is about to walk out that door.
I told her that I like her a lot, but I really don't like her all that much.
Could you guys break it off for me? FINN: The nice king is not looking for a relationship right now.
JAKE: Get out of here! [CRYING.]
FINN: He's just not ready for a relationship! JAKE: All right! We did it, dude! FINN: [SIGHS.]
I feel terrible.
I need to talk to the nice king about this.
ICE KING: Yes, yes, keep walking in a circle.
[LAUGHS.]
FINN: Nice king, may I speak with you for a moment? ICE KING: Princesses, I must speak to my knight in private.
Go on, back into your cage.
BOTH: Bye, nice king! ICE KING: What's up, knight? FINN: I don't like treating princesses this way.
I don't want to -- I don't want to do this anymore.
ICE KING: Your loyalty is in question? FINN: It's not that.
It's just, princesses are supposed to be treated with niceness.
ICE KING: Are you implying that I'm not the nice king? FINN: What's wrong with you?! ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Hey, I'm here! ICE KING: Ugh! [WHISPERING.]
Finn, get rid of her.
FINN: What?! No, man! ICE KING: She's too loud and lumpy.
I like smooth princesses -- smooth.
I can be smooth.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Finn, punch out my lumps.
FINN: What?! I can be whatever he wants.
I can change! FINN: I can't punch a princess! ICE KING: Oh! Finn, just punch her! Let me see what she looks like smooth.
FINN: [SIGHS.]
Yes! Hit me, hit me, hit me! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
I'm sorry, lumpy space princess.
I just can't punch you.
Are you serious? Fine.
I'll do it myself.
[GRUNTING.]
FINN: Princess, no! ICE KING: Wait a minute, nice knight.
Let's see what she can do.
There.
How's that? Better? ICE KING: Eh.
No, I don't like her.
This is all your fault, Finn! [CRYING.]
FINN: King, I'm sorry -- I just can't do this anymore.
Punching princesses, breaking hearts -- it doesn't seem nice at all.
ICE KING: Hey! You're on thin ice, nice knight! Huh? FINN: Huh.
ICE KING: [GASPS.]
The jig is up! FINN: What jig? ICE KING: Uh [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
My jig is up -- up high.
It's a highland jig.
I have a new assignment for you, one with more knight-related stuff -- very important.
FINN: Oh, wow! Awesome! What is it? ICE KING: The ice king stole my razor.
Sneak into his trap-filled ice castle and retrieve it.
And don't look through the shoe box that he keeps behind the laundry bag in the closet.
FINN: Wha? ICE KING: Those are my orders! FINN: Yes -- finally something knight-like! BOTH: Get ready, ice king, for battle! ICE KING: And once I have my razor, I can select my elite army of wives and take over the world! FINN: Whoa, Jake! Look at all his hair.
JAKE: Did the ice king shave his back or something? FINN: [LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
The nice king's razor! [RAZOR BUZZING.]
Jake, look, check this out.
Aaaah! JAKE: Relax, dude.
It's just me.
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
You look just like the ice king.
And so do I.
JAKE: [LAUGHS.]
These whiskers would make anyone look like the ice king.
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, even the nice king.
[BOTH GASP.]
The nice king is the ice king! ICE KING: Ugh.
What do those princesses see in this face? Hope I can keep this going.
So many princesses to meet.
Whiskers! I can't be growing whiskers now! [SHOUTS.]
I haven't picked who I want to marry me! FINN: Nice king! ICE KING: Did you retrieve my stolen razor? FINN: Yeah, and also This! ICE KING: My beard! Uh, I mean, what is that? JAKE: [SCOFFS.]
He knows what it is.
FINN: Let's get him, Jake! Stop! We're not gonna let you beat up the nice king.
FINN: He's not the nice king! He's the ice king! We don't believe you! JAKE: Man, these ladies really want to get married.
FINN: Jake, we can't beat up princesses! JAKE: Relax, dude.
Just get behind my ear shield.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
ICE KING: [PANTING.]
Wait, I can't fly! FINN: Let me help you! Hyah! ICE KING: No! Wait! FINN: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Now fly, you liar! ICE KING: Ugh! [GROANING.]
Huh? Ladies, ladies [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
I can shave it off again.
And when you get fat, I'll grow it back.
Uh, aah! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
FINN: Now that's what I call a close shave.
JAKE: Oh! [GROANS.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time ICE KING: [SNORING.]
[LOCK CLATTERING.]
Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: Shh! Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: We are.
Save me, Finn and Jake.
JAKE: Why does she keep saying that? FINN: I think she's traumatized, dude.
JAKE: Don't worry, princess.
We're gonna get you out of here.
FINN: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah! ICE KING: [SNORING.]
Huh?! What was that?! Darling, are you all right? I thought I heard a [GASPS.]
[BEARD FLAPPING.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Oh, I see what happened.
She broke up with me.
Well, it's your mistake, missy! This ice king's gonna be fine! [MOANS LOUDLY.]
Why did she leave? I put so much cool stuff in her little prison! Come on, old boykeep it together.
Hey, maybe she called me! [BEARD FLAPS.]
Please, please, please.
Doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.
No new messages?! [GRUNTS.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
This is where she used to do her business.
[SIGHS.]
I'm so tired of looking at this face.
[HUMMING, RAZOR BUZZING.]
[SIGHS.]
Heehee, not bad.
And now for some healthy exercise.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm forgetting about that silly old break-up already.
[BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY.]
All right, let's fly! Ohh! You fool, you can't fly without your beard.
I'm going to be alone forever.
Hi! ICE KING: Beautiful princess.
Excuse me for approaching you, sir.
You just seemed so approachable.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
ICE KING: That's funny -- usually my looks put people off.
[GIGGLING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
ICE KING: Is someone paying you to do this? [GIGGLING.]
Tell me about yourself.
ICE KING: Well, there's not much to tell, really.
I'm an ice king.
Oh, a nice king.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS.]
No, no, dear, you misheard me.
I'm not a nice king.
I'm a [TWINKLE!.]
A really nice king.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I'm single.
[GIGGLING.]
Oh, my gosh! [BEEP, CELLPHONE RINGING.]
Yeah, guess what? Slime princess is in the park, and she's, like, talking to a new nice king.
[MUNCHING.]
And he's, like, totally single.
By the way, don't tell anybody.
[TELEPHONE DIALING.]
There's a new king in town.
Oh, my goodness, I can't wait to meet him.
[INDISTINCT TALKING, RINGING.]
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
And I was like, "leave him alone!" And he was like, "make me.
" And I was like, "okay.
" And then he was like, "agh, my head!" [LAUGHS.]
Dude, what are you doing? JAKE: I'm just trying to get a signal.
It's like everyone in ooo is on their phones or something.
Oh, man! Ohh! Have you guys Seen the new Nice king? FINN: Nice king? Yeah He's single And he's ours! Now get out of our way! FINN: Agh! [FROG CROAKS.]
JAKE: Man, now we got to kick that frog out of his new home.
FINN: Nah.
Let him keep it.
Hey, if there's a new king and he's nice, we should offer our services.
JAKE: Finn and Jake-style.
Yoo-hoo! Nice king! [INDISTINCT TALKING.]
ICE KING: Ladies, I'll have time to meet you individually later.
Please, just stop squirming.
But this looks like a prison.
ICE KING: Pris-- [LAUGHS.]
Don't be ridiculous.
It's a waiting room.
Stop squirming.
BOTH: Nice king! Aaaah! ICE KING: Finn and Jake! You'll never take me alive! BOTH: Huh? FINN: You're the nice king, right? ICE KING: Oh, yeah.
I keep forgetting that.
FINN: Well, we will honor and serve you.
ICE KING: Serve me? FINN: Yeah.
We want to be your nice knights.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Uh, sounds Nice.
With my rod of niceness, I dub thee two my nice knights.
FINN: Yay! We're knights! BOTH: Nice! FINN: Who do you want us to nice-knights against? Nice king, I love you! Did I tell you that I like the opera? But if you don't, I hate it! ALL: Nice king ICE KING: Please! I'm trying to tell my nice knights something! [ALL GASP.]
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Come here.
The main enemy to the nice king right now is the disorganization of his love life.
FINN: Well, what do you mean? ICE KING: The ugly ones are all mixed up with the other ones! I need you to catalog them or something.
JAKE: [LAUGHS.]
But we punch monsters.
ICE KING: After I choose my bride, then you can go punch the monsters.
FINN: Managing admirers? We'll give it a try.
Let's move on to something easier.
Um, do you like drums? Um, am I supposed to? JAKE: She's dodging the question.
FINN: Are you fond of men with magical abilities? I'm really nervous right now.
I just really want to meet a nice king.
JAKE: You can go back to the waiting room now, ma'am! I screwed it up, didn't I? [CRYING.]
JAKE: I think we did a good job.
FINN: I don't feel good making a princess cry.
This is not how knights are supposed to act.
JAKE: Finn, knights are loyal to their king.
FINN: I'm still not sure.
JAKE: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Loyalty to the king.
FINN: Can't argue with that.
ICE KING: Hey, nice knights, turtle princess is about to walk out that door.
I told her that I like her a lot, but I really don't like her all that much.
Could you guys break it off for me? FINN: The nice king is not looking for a relationship right now.
JAKE: Get out of here! [CRYING.]
FINN: He's just not ready for a relationship! JAKE: All right! We did it, dude! FINN: [SIGHS.]
I feel terrible.
I need to talk to the nice king about this.
ICE KING: Yes, yes, keep walking in a circle.
[LAUGHS.]
FINN: Nice king, may I speak with you for a moment? ICE KING: Princesses, I must speak to my knight in private.
Go on, back into your cage.
BOTH: Bye, nice king! ICE KING: What's up, knight? FINN: I don't like treating princesses this way.
I don't want to -- I don't want to do this anymore.
ICE KING: Your loyalty is in question? FINN: It's not that.
It's just, princesses are supposed to be treated with niceness.
ICE KING: Are you implying that I'm not the nice king? FINN: What's wrong with you?! ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Hey, I'm here! ICE KING: Ugh! [WHISPERING.]
Finn, get rid of her.
FINN: What?! No, man! ICE KING: She's too loud and lumpy.
I like smooth princesses -- smooth.
I can be smooth.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Finn, punch out my lumps.
FINN: What?! I can be whatever he wants.
I can change! FINN: I can't punch a princess! ICE KING: Oh! Finn, just punch her! Let me see what she looks like smooth.
FINN: [SIGHS.]
Yes! Hit me, hit me, hit me! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
I'm sorry, lumpy space princess.
I just can't punch you.
Are you serious? Fine.
I'll do it myself.
[GRUNTING.]
FINN: Princess, no! ICE KING: Wait a minute, nice knight.
Let's see what she can do.
There.
How's that? Better? ICE KING: Eh.
No, I don't like her.
This is all your fault, Finn! [CRYING.]
FINN: King, I'm sorry -- I just can't do this anymore.
Punching princesses, breaking hearts -- it doesn't seem nice at all.
ICE KING: Hey! You're on thin ice, nice knight! Huh? FINN: Huh.
ICE KING: [GASPS.]
The jig is up! FINN: What jig? ICE KING: Uh [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
My jig is up -- up high.
It's a highland jig.
I have a new assignment for you, one with more knight-related stuff -- very important.
FINN: Oh, wow! Awesome! What is it? ICE KING: The ice king stole my razor.
Sneak into his trap-filled ice castle and retrieve it.
And don't look through the shoe box that he keeps behind the laundry bag in the closet.
FINN: Wha? ICE KING: Those are my orders! FINN: Yes -- finally something knight-like! BOTH: Get ready, ice king, for battle! ICE KING: And once I have my razor, I can select my elite army of wives and take over the world! FINN: Whoa, Jake! Look at all his hair.
JAKE: Did the ice king shave his back or something? FINN: [LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
The nice king's razor! [RAZOR BUZZING.]
Jake, look, check this out.
Aaaah! JAKE: Relax, dude.
It's just me.
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
You look just like the ice king.
And so do I.
JAKE: [LAUGHS.]
These whiskers would make anyone look like the ice king.
FINN: [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, even the nice king.
[BOTH GASP.]
The nice king is the ice king! ICE KING: Ugh.
What do those princesses see in this face? Hope I can keep this going.
So many princesses to meet.
Whiskers! I can't be growing whiskers now! [SHOUTS.]
I haven't picked who I want to marry me! FINN: Nice king! ICE KING: Did you retrieve my stolen razor? FINN: Yeah, and also This! ICE KING: My beard! Uh, I mean, what is that? JAKE: [SCOFFS.]
He knows what it is.
FINN: Let's get him, Jake! Stop! We're not gonna let you beat up the nice king.
FINN: He's not the nice king! He's the ice king! We don't believe you! JAKE: Man, these ladies really want to get married.
FINN: Jake, we can't beat up princesses! JAKE: Relax, dude.
Just get behind my ear shield.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
ICE KING: [PANTING.]
Wait, I can't fly! FINN: Let me help you! Hyah! ICE KING: No! Wait! FINN: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Now fly, you liar! ICE KING: Ugh! [GROANING.]
Huh? Ladies, ladies [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
I can shave it off again.
And when you get fat, I'll grow it back.
Uh, aah! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
FINN: Now that's what I call a close shave.
JAKE: Oh! [GROANS.]