Big City Greens (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

[theme music playing]
One, two, one, two, three ♪
La la la la la la la la ♪
Na na na na na na na na ♪
La la la la la ♪
[chicken clucks]
Ah, closing time.
-We're free!
-Oh, seriously.
So you got any
Friday night plans?
Ha! Do I have plans?
Cricket, I'm a single
woman living in Big City--
the world is my oyster!
[laughing]
-Okay, night, Gloria.
-[laughs]
[laughing]
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-He just keeps falling.
-That's good stuff.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oh, wow.
Jenny from high
school had a baby.
Good luck with that!
You're more than enough for me.
[squawks]
I love my new
washer and dryer!
Goodbye, laundry mats!
Now that, I'm jealous of.
Finally got that
big promotion!
What? She just started
that job two months ago!
It takes more
muscles to frown
than it does to smile!
Well, it takes even
less muscles to scroll!
We bought a house,
and all it took was hard work
and a lot of money
from my parents!
What? That's not hard work!
Being happy is so easy!
It's not that easy.
It is not that easy!
[gasps] No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, that was dumb!
Please, don't be broken!
Oh, it's broken.
Why can't I just
get it together?
-Ow.
-[man] Hey, quiet down over there!
[sighs]
Well, Gloria,
you've always got tomorrow.
Oh.
I didn't realize
it was so soon.
Huh.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, right, parking
costs money, Gloria!
Everything in this
city costs money.
-Come on. There!
-[change jingling]
-[coin clinks]
-Okay, I'll be quick.
All right,
I'll just be in and out.
No distractions.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
Hello, tall building!
Cricket? And the rest of
his crazy family?
What are they doing here?
Gloria?
Oh, he saw me!
Okay, door, close,
please, please. Door, close.
Gloria, was that you?
Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria,
Gloria, Gloria!
I don't want to
be social right now.
-[elevator dings]
-Yes, yes, they're closing.
Whoo, that was a close one.
-Gyah!
-Ah!
Hi, Gloria!
[screams]
These dang doors just
don't wanna open!
Gloria, thanks for the
holding the door for us.
[laughs nervously] Yeah.
Don't forget your extra
large Tubby Punch, cricket.
Ooh, thanks, Tilly.
And I will drink
this whole thing!
[slurps]
Now, I told you
not to buy that!
You'll be running to
the bathroom all day!
You don't know anything!
Son, one day, you'll realize
-I do know a thing or two.
-[grunting]
Come on. Awe, come on,
it's just an elevator, Gramma.
I don't trust it!
It's unnatural!
How does it move up and down?
Come on, you're letting
all the oxygen out.
What?!
What are you all doing here?
It's City Exploration Day.
We each take turns picking
a new place to see.
Last week, Tilly chose
the History Museum,
and this week,
Cricket chose the, uh
Big glass elevator.
Big glass elevator!
When it goes up and down,
it makes you feel like you're flying!
I did enough
flying in the war!
Plus, this big window makes
it the best view in the city.
So you all came here
to ride the elevator?
Great.
So, the thing is,
while it's fun seeing
you all here,
I'm actually in a
little bit of a hurry.
-Oh, really? What are you up to?
-[slurping]
Oh, don't worry about it.
You wouldn't understand.
Adult stuff.
Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
Adult stuff.
Shiny buttons.
It'd be a shame not to
-press 'em all!
-[elevator voice] Going up.
-Did you just press all the buttons?
-Maybe.
[gasps] I don't
have time for this!
Hey, you're
undoing my hard work!
[panel sizzling]
[elevator voice]
Going up, down, up, up.
[all screaming]
[screaming]
-[thump]
-[Bill] No, not again!
[Gramma]
I knew this would happen!
Never trust a machine
to run itself!
-[panel explodes]
-[all screaming]
[thump]
[gasps] Oh my gosh!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
Argh! The elevator's broken!
We're trapped!
I can't believe
this is happening!
Who knows how long
we'll be stuck here?
Well, being realistic,
Gloria, probably forever.
Our old way of life is dead.
We must rebuild society from
the ashes of the former.
This will be Tilly's corner.
Better pick a corner soon,
they're going fast.
That's it! I'm gonna jump!
-[mumbling]
-[thumps]
Ma, you're overreacting.
You've gotta stay calm.
Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh.
I can't believe
this is happening.
Aw, look on the bright side!
Now we've got plenty of
time to enjoy the view!
See?
Pretty neat, huh?
I guess it is pretty
-Oh, no!
-[meter ticking]
My parking meter!
I gotta get out of here!
Oh.
Right.
[gasps] Elevator have
emergency phones.
-[slurping]
-Son, you better quit that.
You're gonna have to
go to the bathroom.
Come on, come on,
come on! Yes!
Gloria, the last
thing we need to do
is act like we're in
some sort of crisis.
Crisis!
If I'm literally gonna go down,
-I'm going down fighting!
-Oh, Ma.
[Operator]
Hello, is anyone there?
Yes, help!
I'm trapped in an elevator!
-Ma!
-Let go! [grunting]
[Operator] There's a lot of noise,
can you repeat that?
We. Are. Trapped. In. An. Elevator!
-Ma! Let go!
-Boy, don't you dare! [yells]
Can you repeat--
[crying]
Oh, yeah, scrap metal.
I'll take this, thanks.
Eh
Okay, does anyone
else have a phone?
Oh, crabbledumpkins,
I have a phone.
Here, you make the call, Gloria.
Oh, we're saved!
Thank goodness!
Give it here.
Yeah, Dad, I've gotta get
out of here, hand it over!
Wait a minute.
You're suddenly very
eager to leave, Cricket.
Is there a special reason why?
Well, who wants to spend
all day stuck in an elevator?
Huh, interesting.
What is going on?
Could it be someone
needs to use the bathroom
because they drank
their soda too fast,
even though I told
them not to?
Okay, you know what?
You two talk,
while I take the phone.
I need to hear this from him.
It's okay if you've
gotta go, son.
You just gotta admit it.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Don't. You. Dare.
[slurps]
Yeah, I'm just
gonna grab this.
-Gloria, this is a teaching moment!
-[dialing]
-Okay, come on, come on. Pick up.
-[phone ringing]
[operator]
We're sorry
[man] Bill Green.
your phone plan
does not allow calls
-on days that end in "y." Goodbye.
-[phone clicks]
[chuckling] Yeah, I got
the most cheapest plan
on the worst network.
Cool! Cool, cool,
cool, cool!
So we're trapped in an elevator,
and also out of phones.
I didn't think I could
be stuck anywhere worse
than my crummy apartment,
but I guess I was wrong!
-[carpet ripping]
-There, there.
You're always
welcome at my place.
There's plenty of shade
from the fluorescent lights,
and I always have the latest
post-apocalyptic fashions.
Uh, that's actually
weirdly comforting.
-Thanks, Tilly.
-You're welcome.
I hope we can grow as
friends until one of us
has to inevitably eat the other.
Okay!
What'cha doing, Gloria?
What I should have
done from the start.
Help, help, help, help,
help, help, help!
[man] Hey, we can hear you!
Hey, it worked!
Please, we're trapped!
Can you get us out of here?
[man] Yeah, we pried
open the doors down here,
all you've gotta do is open
the doors on your side.
Leave that to me!
[grunting]
There!
-Kind of a squeeze.
-Better hurry!
I don't know how much
longer we can hold this.
Okay, we don't have much time.
Boy, you're small and wily--
shake a leg!
I don't know, Ma.
What if this thing
starts moving again?
-Aah! I'm making a run for it!
-Cricket, wait!
-[grunting]
-[both yell]
[all screaming]
[all groaning]
Holy baloney,
this could have been me!
Is it so hard to imagine
that your old dad might know
what he's talking about?
Yeah-huh.
[sighs] Cricket,
one day you'll figure out
I'm just trying to
look out for you.
Yeah, but not,
like, today, right?
Oh, give it a rest, Cricket!
You don't even know
how lucky you are!
If I had someone in this
stupid city looking out for me,
maybe I wouldn't be leaving!
Leaving?
What are you
talking about, Gloria?
This is my last
day in Big City.
I'm moving back to my hometown
to live with my parents.
Wha?
My building management
is on the 68th floor.
I just came to return
my apartment key.
Everything I own
is out in my car.
[Cricket] You're--
You're actually leaving?
But, Gloria, I thought
you loved Big City.
How could you leave all of this?
[sighs] The city is fine.
I'm the one that's
not good enough.
Today is my
three-year anniversary
of moving to Big City.
Three years.
And yet, I'm still at
the same crummy job,
in the same crummy apartment.
Moving here was supposed to
be a stepping stone to Paris.
What a joke.
It's time to just
throw in the towel.
Well, I get it, Gloria.
We had a hard time when
we first moved here, too.
I mean, we're still adjusting,
but it gets better every day.
That's easy for you to say.
You're a family.
You have each other.
No one's here to support me.
I'm failing,
and I'm all alone.
Firefighters ♪
We're here to save the day! ♪
Uh, what happened?
Ugh! Finally!
-I gotta get out of here.
-Gloria, wait!
Stop!
Listen to me!
Gloria, I really wanna
say something inspiring,
but it's kind of hard
to think right now!
Son, just please,
go to the bathroom!
Yes, okay, thank you!
[Cricket] Ahh-ha-ha-ha! Yeah!
Oh, Dad!
You were so right, Dad!
I knew he had
to go, but sheesh.
-[Cricket] Oh-ho-ho-ha!
-Now he's just showing off.
[ding]
Ohh. That family.
Always around,
always getting in my way.
Goodbye, Big City.
-[tow-truck beeping]
-Hey, hey! Wait!
[beeping]
No, stop!
That's all I have, please stop!
[gasps]
Sir, move aside!
I'm sorry, I can't
let you tow this car.
[chanting] Heck no, we won't be towed!
Heck no, we won't be towed!
-Dee dee-dee dee dee-dee-dee ♪
-[hissing]
Move it, or I'll tow you too!
-For glory and Gloria!
-[grunting]
[laughing]
-[driver groaning]
-[tires screeching]
Yeah, that's right,
bye-bye!
You guys, that was amazing!
I-I can't believe
you did that for me.
Well, we know what
it's like losing a car
with everything you own in it.
Happened to us
when we moved here.
We got your back, Gloria.
Yeah, you're never alone.
You have us!
I can't believe I even had
to explain that to you.
Thanks.
I guess I never
thought of it that way.
Well, since you're leaving,
you probably wanna hit the road.
Or
-[doorbell rings]
-Hey, pizza's here.
So, that's two large pizzas
and four Mega Gulp
Tubby Punches.
-What?!
-I ordered those!
Gaah! Hand 'em right over here.
Yeah, I'll take 'em.
So what are you
guys gonna drink?
Thanks so much for
helping me unpack.
-Of course!
-Happy to help!
-I'll bill you later.
-[neighbor] Hey, quiet down over there!
No, you quiet down!
[neighbor] Oh, uh, sorry.
Got your back, Gloria.
I'm carving in
Gramma's house ♪
Carving in Gramma's house ♪
And waiting for
my best friend! ♪
And there he is.
I'll get the door, Master Remy.
Ah, Remy's here,
Remy's here, Remy's here!
-[Remy] Hi, Cricket.
-Uh, Remy, you gonna come outside?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Do you require anything
else today, Master Remy?
Perhaps your favorite--
cucumber slices?
No, thanks, Vazquez.
I'm feeling mirabulous today,
and if I need anything,
I brought my
No Limit credit card.
Flaunt yo stacks!
Very good, Master Remy.
Wow, Remy, you're
in rare form.
What was that thing you said?
Oh, hashtag flaunt yo stacks!
Just like Itchaboi says.
Itchy boy?
Are you an itchy boy?
Gramma's got some lotion
inside if you need any.
You haven't heard of Itchaboi?
Have you been
living under a rock?
No.
Well, Itchaboi is my favorite
social media influencer.
-Here, I'll show you a video.
-[tablet beeps]
What's up, best friends?
It's your boy, Itchaboi!
All right, guys.
It's Flex on Your Haters Friday,
so you know I'm gonna list off
everyone who's wronged me.
But first, it's time to
hashtag flaunt yo stacks!
-Oh, hey, Itchy.
-Cash slap!
[moans] Good one, Itchy!
I don't get it,
he's just got a lot of money
and brags about it.
Nuh-uh! He gets real sometimes.
What's up, my precious peeps?
Are haters trying to
offer you valid criticism?
If so, support my new initiative,
Negate The Hate.
And check out all my
new mirabulous merch!
Link in the description!
You see there?
He's just trying to sell stuff.
Wait, how did you
Yeah, I can't help it.
He's so genuine,
and I wanna support him.
Are you guys talking
about Itchaboi?
Hey-yeah-uh!
Mirabulous for life!
Remy? Remy!
What has gotten
into that young man?
[Tilly] Oh, hello.
What's this?
An endless portal to cat videos?
I may never close my eyes again.
Tilly, we've talked about this.
You have to blink.
Hm?
Sorry, Papa, I was just perusing
some of the quality content
the internet has to offer.
Who's making these videos?
Anyone can make a
video about anything.
Here's one you'd like, Papa.
Hey guys, today
I'm gonna teach you
how to grout your tiles
with a handy life hack.
First, plop some
eggs on the floor,
and then add a little sand.
Finally, you've just
gotta smear it around,
and really push it in.
What is he doing?
This is all wrong!
-[tablet beeping]
-I'd like to lodge a complaint!
If you're upset
about the video,
why don't you make your own?
Well, I'd love to
spread proper information,
but I don't know
how to make a video.
It's okay, Papa.
I'll help.
I'll be your director.
[Itchaboi] What's up,
my cherished homeys?
It's your boy Itchaboi!
I love you more than
your parents ever will,
and I've got a real
special treat for y'all.
Today, in Big City,
I'm opening up the first ever
Hashtag Be Mirabulous
pop-up store.
-Ohhhh, I don't pay taxes!
-[clank]
[gasps] That's nearby!
We can take my limo!
Remy, what's going on?
Don't you wanna
follow me around
and get into wacky
antics like normal?
Uh, sorry, Cricket,
but if we don't go now,
he's gonna burn all
his merchandise that doesn't get sold.
Exclusivity!
So?
You wouldn't get it, Cricket,
You don't really like
the internet. Or merch.
They're already
out of posters!
We have to go now!
-Oh, come on, guys! Oh, really?
-[chanting] Flaunt your stacks!
Really? Come on.
This is ridiculous.
Vasquez, don't you think Remy's
getting a little too
into this nonsense?
I think Master
Remy's having fun
and doesn't need you ruining it.
-Don't follow us.
-Oh yeah, or what?
You're gonna beat up a kid? Huh?
Wait, wait, what are
you doing with that?
-[bang]
-Nope, you're good, whoa!
[TILLY] And we're rolling.
[clears throat]
Hello, I'm BillGreen123,
and I'm going to show
you the right way
to reapply grout.
Strap yourself in, because
this is going to be a long
-and detail-oriented video.
-[cat meows]
-Huh?
-First and foremost,
make sure you've got
your grout spreader--
or a "float,"
as we call it in the biz.
[sneezes]
-[laughing]
-[cat meows]
Uh, Tilly?
Am I still in the shot?
Papa, I gotta
be honest with you.
I don't think anyone's
gonna watch this video.
But I'm speaking clearly
and concisely about grout!
That may be true,
but people nowadays
have short attention spans.
You gotta keep them
distracted with cats.
-[meows]
-Uh, if you say so.
Hi, I'm BillGreen123,
and this is our cat.
-Oop. Uh
-[cat meows]
Here, let me help you there.
[screaming]
Now remember,
don't let any setbacks
keep you from getting the
tile floor of your dreams.
This is gold.
[techno music playing]
[crowd chatter]
[Remy] Look at that shirt!
I think we need
to buy everything.
[grunts] Somebody's gotta
talk some sense into Remy.
Whoa!
[camera snapping]
[camera snapping]
This costs $800.
Oh, yeah, now we're
officially mirabulous!
Remy! [grunts]
Okay, look, I didn't
wanna mess with your fun,
but I'm starting to feel like
this whole thing is a scam.
Really, Cricket?
Now you just sound like
one of Itchaboi's haters.
No, I'm not a hater.
I just feel very strongly
that this Itchaboi guy
is stringing you along.
[all] Hater.
Okay, you three are hopeless,
but Remy, this isn't you.
You never cared about flanking
your steaks or whatever
before this weirdo showed up.
You just don't get it, Cricket!
Itchaboi's message is
about spreading positivity
by buying merchandise,
so that other people know
how much positivity
you're spreading.
Remy, buddy, you've gotta
know how stupid that sounds.
I thought you were my friend!
But face it, Cricket,
you a hater.
-[finger snaps]
-Huh? Whoa!
Remy, wait!
I'm just trying to help!
Welcome, distinguished guests,
to the world premier of Papa's
instructional grout video,
although I may have taken
a few creative liberties.
Hello, I'm BillGreen123,
and I'm going to show you
-the right way to reapply grout.
-[distorted voice] Grout.
-[audience laughing]
-To your kitchen tile.
-[cat meows]
-Oop. Uh
[distorted voices]
Uh uh uh
Here, let me help you.
-[screaming]
-[alarm ringing]
-Grout.
-[horn honking]
-[screaming]
-[siren blaring]
-Grout.
-[sneezes]
-[coughs]
-[metal banging]
-[screaming]
-What's this for now?
[scraping loudly]
-Grout.
-[yowling]
-Grout.
-[Tilly] Made by Tilly.
So, what'd you think?
Well, I
[laughing hysterically]
Anyway, the video
is very interesting,
but where's all
the grout information?
Oh, that stuff
just wasn't playing.
I think this is what the
people are gonna want to see.
Well, you're the director.
All right, I'm gonna go finish
grouting the kitchen tile.
[laughing] I don't know
what's wrong with Bill,
this is comedy gold!
What's good, my sweet buds.
You mean the world to me.
[cheering]
Now, I know you all
wish I was there,
but I couldn't make it,
'cause I'm tired.
I didn't sleep well last night.
Why?!
Anyway, I'm here to tell you
about something even better,
The Mirabulous Crewse
for my Mirabulous Crew!
Dat's youse.
My private party bus
is waiting outside
to take you to the dock,
and once we're at sea,
I promise, promise, promise,
you'll get to meet me.
[gasping]
We get to meet Itchaboi?
And the best part is,
tickets are only $1 million!
-[all] Awe!
-Oh, man, What?
I can't afford that.
Aww, Kiki, that's too bad
for you! Whoo!
Listen, Master Cricket.
You are not allowed
to talk to Master Remy.
Well, that's just fine,
'cause I wanna talk to you.
Isn't it your job
to protect Remy?
Yes, so?
Well, Itchaboi is turning
Remy into a brainwashed zombie
who will buy
anything mirabulous,
and calls his friends haters.
That's ridiculous!
Master Remy is the sweet,
loving, tender boy
we've always known.
Out of my way, losers!
Master Remy,
where are you going?
I'm spending a million dollars
to go live on a boat
with a stranger
from the internet!
Also, you're fired!
Flaunt yo stacks!
Master Remy, wait, no!
[both panting]
Okay, I see what
you were saying now.
If Remy spends all
that time with Itchaboi,
he'll be lost forever.
We gotta work
together and stop him
-from getting on that boat!
-Okay.
-[bones crunching]
-Yeow!
Papa, I'm really
sorry about the
Ah, I see you've tiled
the whole kitchen.
I'm very passionate
about grout.
That's why I'm here.
I wasn't a very
good collaborator,
so I reedited the footage
to include both our ideas.
[Bill] To finish up,
you gotta tilt
at a nice 60 degree angle,
and voila.
There you go!
Great job, everyone.
In my next video, I'll show
you how to install drywall
-without the fuss.
-[cat meows]
Aw, Tilly.
Ha! The original was better.
[TILLY] This has been
a Billy Tilly Production.
[Gramma] What's this for now?
Ha! You kept that!
[laughing hysterically]
Thanks, Tilly.
We make a good team.
[Gramma]
Oh, my stitches.
[water bubbling]
[gasping] Was swimming really
the best way to get here?
I needed to get my
cardio in for the day.
Whoa!
Itchaboi, I'm here!
It's your best friend, Remy!
Hey, there he is.
Itchaboi, you here?
[Itchaboi] Yes I am, little dude.
In the fleshy-flesh.
Wowee, you're really here!
Whoa, no hugs yet, buddy.
Before I give you any
sort of validation
for your behavior, $1 million.
Oh, yeah, anything
for you, best friend!
[gasps]
[Cricket] No!
[grunts]
Hey, give me back my card!
Squad up, squad up!
[both] What up, Boi?
-[gasps] Vasquez!
-[boys grunting]
Go, Cricket!
Get Master Remy off the boat!
Come and get it, Remy!
Wait!
Cash slap, cash slap,
cash slap, cash slap!
Give me back my muns,
you hater!
[roars]
Come on, Remy.
He's not your friend!
You're just an
open wallet to him.
You shouldn't
listen to Itchaboi.
And what?
Listen to you instead?
Huh?
Cash slap, cash slap, cash slap!
[yelling]
Whoa!
-[grunts]
-[groans]
Master Cricket,
what's the hold-up?
[grunting]
Come on, little man,
be mirabulous!
Now, negate him!
Negate that hater!
-[groans]
-Here, take it.
You shouldn't listen
to Itchaboi or me.
You should do what
makes you happy,
because I'll be your
friend either way.
Ha, he's giving up!
Now let's party together,
little man.
Just you, me,
and that $1 million.
That's right, I'm gonna go
with the most mirabulous
person I know.
Ha-ha! Yes!
Cricket!
What? No!
Ha-ha, good to
have you back, buddy!
Sorry, Itchaboi.
It's been real,
but I know who
my true friends are.
Ha! Got 'im!
I was a hologram the whole time!
Wow, what was I thinking?
What do you say we get
out of here, best friends?
-[cheering]
-[distorted voice] Grout.
I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got
bit by 100 flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Bit by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
at seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪