Casual (2015) s02e03 Episode Script

1 VALERIE: Previously on "Casual" The couch in the hallway.
LEIA: Jennifer, I think.
She's still remodeling.
I'm Jennifer.
Can I take you to lunch to make up for this? Looks like you're being asked to sell your stake in Snooger to JME Capital.
I don't know what any of that means.
They're breaking up with you.
Your mom tells me you're not going back to school.
No.
We're touring East Alvarado tomorrow.
So, uh, what's it like here? School's a fucking drag everywhere.
Okay.
This is depressing.
You can't send her here.
Hell, I'd do a better job teaching her.
What the fuck? [TV playing indistinctly.]
New skirt? Yeah.
What do you think? It's pencil-y.
It's too much? It's a little much.
- I should change.
- No, I like it.
Oh, okay.
I want to make a good impression, you know, so they think we're normal.
- We are normal.
- Exactly.
You could invite Alex.
I mean, it is a school thing.
Alex? Carson Daly's wife is named Siri.
- What? - Can you imagine? Every day.
Siri, where's the nearest gas station? Siri, what's the weather like today? Siri, why did you marry Carson Daly? - What are you reading? - ALEX: The news.
Oh, look, a profile on Kate Upton.
Did you want to go to Laura's interview? I would, but I got to save the old company.
- Let me know how it goes.
- Mm-hmm.
[light guitar music.]
- Welcome.
- Hi.
Hi.
We started four years ago, just the three of us with some homemade lesson plans and a desire to change.
Now we have 12 students, parent-teachers, guest lecturers.
And most importantly, a safe space for our children to learn and grow.
That sounds very supportive.
We're one big happy family.
[chuckles.]
Um What are the the next steps? The paperwork you sent looks good.
If we can just ask Laura a few questions, I think we'll be set.
Ask away.
Is there anything you're looking forward to in particular this semester? Where to start? [laughter.]
Uh, I mean, designing my own curriculum and, uh, just getting to be around people who care about what they're doing.
I've never really had that opportunity, so it's it's very exciting.
Is that why you left Cedar Ridge? I needed a change so I could focus on my interests.
And what are your interests? She's on the she's on the soccer team and, uh, photography.
Really, anything having to do with a camera.
I just mean that she, uh, has such a good eye and really loves art.
What is it about art that inspires you? I don't know.
I just like it.
It's okay not to have all the answers.
We're doing a potluck this weekend to kick off the semester.
I think you should come by and meet the others.
Okay, what are our options? There are no options.
We take this money or fold.
Paul, there's always an option.
Even the guy trapped under the boulder in that movie had an option.
I'm not asking you to cut your arm off with a Leatherman.
I'm asking you to accept a check from a reputable VC firm.
- Hey, have you tried - Everything.
Everything.
Redesign, marketing, promotion, pricing Maybe the problem is, we're selling a faulty product.
Why, because you couldn't find your fucking soul mate? We were in profit.
We made money.
It's not about the money.
- Yes, it is! - Paul Uh, listen.
You have 80 pairs of unworn socks in your closet I like wearing new socks.
So what? That's a luxury you might not be able to afford when we go bankrupt.
Fine, then I'll wash them.
Or wear sandals.
We have 19 employees, Alex.
They have families, mortgages.
This isn't about socks for them.
This is their life.
And their life is gonna get significantly worse unless you do something.
Alex, why don't you just take the help? I want us to do it ourselves.
The way we always have.
Well, we can't.
Not anymore.
[elevator bell dings.]
[light guitar music.]
[door opens.]
The couch is gone.
Right? Thank God.
You look nice! You have a date? Lunch with Jennifer.
- The cunt from next door? - Leia.
Sorry, I thought that's what we were calling her.
She apologized, so So all is forgiven? Well, I'm not gonna hold a grudge.
Neither did Patty Hearst.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'm just waiting for someone.
- Hey.
Sorry.
- Oh, hey.
I'm so sorry.
Someone hit my car.
- What? Oh, my God.
- Oh, no, it's fine.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was going, like, two miles an hour.
Anyways, I'm very sorry I'm late.
No, that's okay.
That's fine.
- I just I just got here.
- Oh, you did? - Great, um - Here you go.
- Oh, thanks.
- Here you go.
So did you miss crawling over my couch this morning? Yeah, that was a great little workout every single morning.
- Right? - Yeah.
Then I'll put out some chairs for you to hurdle over tomorrow.
Oh, thanks.
I think everybody in the office - would be really happy about that.
- I'm sure they would love that.
So what's your what's your story? - Where you from? - Nebraska, New Orleans.
I went to school in Vermont.
I lived in a little apartment in Brooklyn with my husband for a couple years.
Oh, you're married? Um [clears throat.]
I was.
We split.
Four five years ago now.
- I just ended mine last spring.
- Oh.
- First year.
- Uh-huh.
- Oof.
- [laughs.]
- It gets better.
- Does it? Yeah.
First year, we didn't speak, - Mm-mm.
- right? Lot of inappropriate Internet stalking.
Then we started emailing a little bit.
Now we talk a couple times a month.
I see him for dinner when I'm back east.
- It's good.
- Really? - Yeah.
- That's - That's great.
- Yeah.
You know, I think we were just, like, really insecure in the beginning and just couldn't admit that, I don't know, maybe we'd be okay without each other.
Hey, there.
- That'll be $28.
64.
- Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, it is the least I can do.
Please.
Thanks.
[sighs.]
You know, I can finally be in a room with Drew without wanting to wring his neck.
- That's huge.
- Thank you.
I think that's really good progress.
Now you just need to wait for him to try to fuck you.
- Is that what they do? - Yes.
They can sense the second you are fine without them and then they just swoop in and fuck everything up.
[phone chiming.]
It's crazy.
So if I start to feel really good about myself, I should just steer clear of him.
- Got it.
- Probably.
Although, I swear, it's like they've got, like a a radar.
Oh, God.
- Is everything okay? - No.
I've got this patient who's having what sounds like an emergency.
- Go.
- I'm sorry.
I feel terrible.
- No.
You have to go.
- Are you I'm so sorry.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Seriously, I'm fine.
- Thank you.
- Good luck.
- Right.
Bye.
Yeah.
Bye.
[door shuts.]
How did it Hey.
Hi.
Are you okay? Not really.
But it would be inappropriate for me to complain.
Well, you are in a hot tub.
[chuckles.]
Hey.
How was lunch? It was fine.
Um she had a patient emergency so I ended up sitting alone, eating a salad that wasn't any good.
I mean, it was fine.
It was just overdressed.
I didn't finish it.
It that's not true.
I ate it all.
Ugh.
Someone has a friend crush.
She's just effortless.
I'm sure she likes you too.
Alex, you're good at this stuff.
How do I make her my friend? Standard dating rules apply.
What does that even mean? Well, if you're not gonna pay attention, how can you expect me to help you? - Oh, come on.
- Ugh.
Oh, boy.
- What did I say? - [laughs.]
[light, quirky music.]
[phone ringing.]
- Coffee? Juice? - No, thank you.
All right, Jordan will be right in.
He's very excited.
It's all he's been talking about all week.
Feeling's mutual.
We're both very happy to be here.
JORDAN: I love that one.
You see the man standing alone on the second support? I always wonder what was he thinking.
Don't fall? [laughs.]
Jordan Anderson.
- Alex Cole.
- Thanks for coming in.
Yeah, any chance to hear about my broken company.
Well, you might be disappointed.
Broken companies don't interest us.
Please, have a seat.
When we decided to get into this field, we did a study.
Which site has the highest percentage of users who find a long-term partner.
Snooger was number one.
Then why are we insolvent? User retention.
You see, when people pair off, they stop using dating sites.
No more users, no more money.
Your site's great.
The interface works.
It's easy to use.
But unless you find a way to keep people online You want me to match people who are incompatible? Sell them a lie? People in monogamous relationships report no greater satisfaction than those who date around.
Those studies have been challenged.
50% of marriages end in divorce and many more report that they wish they could.
Just because you partner with someone, doesn't mean you're going to be satisfied with them.
Save your users the heartbreak.
Give them the fun of dating without the pressure of finding a happiness that quite frankly, may not even exist.
[sighs.]
[key jingles.]
Wh Oh.
- Hey, sorry.
- Oh.
I still need to get a key for this.
You know, they you can just use the men's room 'cause they don't lock that one.
- Are you fucking for real? - Yeah.
Why? Apparently, they only lock the women's room, so we don't get raped or something.
Right, 'cause no one's gonna get raped in the men's bathroom.
- No.
No, no.
- Let's be honest.
This is the rape room.
- [laughs.]
- This one, but not - This is it.
- Not really anymore because now we have a key.
That makes me feel a lot safer.
- Right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I feel really safe now.
Do you have any plans for this - [clears throat.]
for this - Hmm? I was just gonna ask do you have any big plans for this weekend? Um, not really.
I might go to that new wine bar in the neighborhood - with some friends.
- Oh, that sounds so fun.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- We'll see.
I don't know.
- Yeah.
I - Hmm? - I was just gonna say, I have to go to this potluck for my daughter, Laura's, school.
Well, it's a homeschool program.
- Oh.
- Could be fun.
Maybe not.
It could be bad.
I'm bringing a caprese.
JENNIFER: Oh, yum.
Have fun.
Thanks.
It's embarrassing.
I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
Why's it so hard to make friends after college? I've changed.
Shouldn't my taste in friends change too? But no.
I'm an adult, so I'm not allowed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can't do it either.
No, that doesn't make me feel better at all.
Sorry.
Maybe you'll meet somebody tonight.
With a bunch of homeschoolers and their weird parents? Yeah.
Should we bail? Think that would set a pretty bad precedent.
True.
But what if they're really weird? - Like Scientologists? - Don't worry.
I don't think we have enough money to be worth extorting.
Hey, who do you think's happier, single people or married people? Taking a poll.
Uh really? Well, I don't know.
If they come to me, they're generally pretty unhappy.
Not a lot of excess happiness in my line of work.
That makes sense.
Where are you two off to? Please be on good behavior.
What's that supposed to mean? [doorbell chiming.]
Come in, come in.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hello.
The scholars are all out back.
- They're dying to meet you.
- Oh.
And you must be Drew? Alex.
[clears throat.]
- Alex.
- My brother.
He supervises sometimes.
You have a very sterile home.
Thank you.
Come on, I'll introduce you to the others.
Thank you.
Bye.
Well? I think I'll wander.
[laughter.]
BOY: All right, here you go.
Uh, what did Glass say to his best friend, Tommy? - GIRL: What? - Nope.
Everyone, this is Valerie.
- Welcome.
- Hi.
- Good to see you again.
- Nice to see you.
So glad you could make it.
Yay.
I'm gonna go get a drink.
Don't scare her off.
Okay! [laughs.]
We're so happy to have you with us.
Everything that we've read about you is glowing.
Oh, really? Wow.
Thank you.
So will you be teaching anything this semester? I work full-time, so I don't think I can really give it the attention that it deserves.
- You're a therapist, right? - Uh-huh.
- Do you enjoy it? - I do.
I like to help people and I think it's important to talk things through.
Speaking of, are you a "good job" person? A-am I a what? Do you tell your daughter "good job"? Sometimes.
We should talk about that.
Maybe not right now, though.
[laughter.]
Right, darling? Sorry.
You don't say "good job"? Well, we try to not put subjective labels on our children's work.
Good, bad, those words can have a negative impact.
Instead, we encourage them to simply enjoy the process.
Mmm.
Hey, man.
Oh, hey there.
- Hello.
- You're one of the dads, right? - Yeah.
Ben.
- Hey, Alex.
- All right.
- Great to meet you.
- All right.
- Can I ask you a question? Kind of personal.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
You're married, right? - Yeah.
- How long? - Going on 14 years now.
- 14, wow.
Cool.
Cool.
Were you happier before you met your wife or after? [chuckles.]
Wait, what? You know, like, clearly, you've built a life for yourself and you seem to be doing really well, but if you could go back, start fresh, no judgment, would you? Uh um wait, I'm sorry.
Whose kid is yours? Oh, I don't have kids.
- You don't have kids? - No.
Look, I'm gonna get back to my food, but if you think of an answer, you let me know.
Thanks, man.
Did you get a chance to read the handbook? - I intend to.
- I can also email it to you.
Okay.
Or I can give you a hard copy at dinner next week.
Next week? Yeah, we get together every Thursday to go over lesson plans and activities.
You're gonna love it.
We all do.
Have to check my calendar.
See if I This is so soft.
Where did you get it? I got it at Banana Republic.
Oh.
It's lovely.
Thank you.
- I like your scarf.
- Take it.
- Uh oh, no.
- I insist.
Yes! - Great.
- Oh, that's adorable.
- Looks great.
- Cute.
Could you, uh, excuse me for just one second? - Mm-hmm.
- Thanks.
Ugh.
[phone chimes.]
[clicking tongue.]
You know the rules: no phones allowed.
Seriously? Screen time is mean time.
I'm Rosanna.
Alex.
You're new here? - Yeah, my niece starts Monday.
- Oh.
The other children are so warm, so welcoming.
- They will touch her.
- Touch her? On the inside.
Hey, are you married? I took my daughter here when she was very little.
Her father didn't want to come.
Sorry to hear that.
I'm not.
[phone chimes.]
Oh, excuse me, I Can I have that back, please? If you can't put it away, I might as well give you my number.
Okay.
Great.
And maybe it's backpacking or or some kind of travel for an extended period of time before college.
It doesn't have to be tomorrow.
Hi.
- Laura, right? - Yeah.
Sit down.
Okay.
[clears throat.]
We're doing a sharing circle.
We're talking about our holidays and things we're excited about this year.
Do you want to go? Um, sure.
Sure.
Well, I've I've just been hanging out and, uh, I'm excited to screw around and have class two days a week and get this high school shit over with so I can join the fucking real world.
Am I right? Uh [chuckles.]
Uh, well, I'll go.
I spent the break in recovery.
Some painful shit.
But I'm back.
I'm feeling better.
Excited to hang out with you guys again.
[indistinct chatter.]
[giggling.]
Holy shit.
What is that thing? Some woman gave it to me.
- Well, throw it out or burn it.
- I can't.
They are so nice and welcoming and I don't know.
Maybe I'm overreacting.
I could do this.
I could do weekly dinners, right? - With these people? Val - I don't know.
I mean, the friends I used to have are awful and I can't get Jennifer in the friend zone.
- Don't say friend zone.
- Why? It's a gross term.
It's like there's some dichotomy between romantic and nonromantic relationships and someone categorically puts you in one - Alex.
- Okay, my God.
Fine.
Come on.
And my parents have been fighting, so I hope I can help them make up 'cause it makes me so sad when I see my mom crying her eyes out, and I want to help her, but I don't know how.
Like, I just feel stuck and and my dad, he just completely goes out of his mind ALEX: You ready? What's up, guys? Hey, Laura.
Hey.
Why didn't you say anything real? - Like, why you're here? - Like what? That I made a sex tape and tried to sleep with my teacher? Yeah.
That would have been good.
Look, you don't have to front.
We just want to get to know you.
Why? You don't think very highly of yourself, do you? VALERIE: Laura! I got to go.
ALEX: I think we're gonna go to that place too.
VALERIE: No.
No, Alex.
No.
She's gonna be there with her friends.
- Yeah, so are we.
- Who? - Our crew.
- Our what? Just trust me.
Hey, there.
Sorry about tonight.
That's okay.
You don't have to go back there.
No, I think maybe I should.
ALEX: Val, let's go.
MAN: Wasting time Spin the wheel and make a mess Soon I'll find everything Relax.
- I don't know these people.
- So? So you're supposed to make me look cool.
Uh, yeah.
I am.
'Lenore has tattoos.
You ever been with someone who has tattoos? - It's like fucking a - Just shut up.
[laughs.]
Just shut up.
Shut up.
Then Val made pot stickers for Santa Claus, which no one has ever done in history.
[laughter.]
And guess what? Santa ate all of them.
[laughter.]
[glasses clink and ring.]
- Ooh, that's a - Cheers.
- Cheers all around.
- Indeed.
All right, refills.
- You want one? - Yep.
You? I know you do.
- Val, more? - Uh, yes.
All right.
- Your brother.
- My brother.
- Fucks himself.
- Mm-hmm.
Another round for all of us.
- VALERIE: Mm-mm.
- Mm-mm.
Ha.
Sorry she didn't show.
Ah.
It's okay.
Thank you.
So why is he friends with you? Because I'm the best.
Oh, you're the best.
That's right.
I forgot.
Come on.
I am.
You know I am.
You are.
You're okay.
You're goddamn right.
Goddamn right.
Goddamn JENNIFER: I'll take another glass.
Thank you.
Val! - Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey, you're here.
- Yeah.
- Yay.
I'm having a drink with my friends.
Oh.
- I like her tattoos.
- ALEX: Hmm.
Those are cool.
Uh, oh, this is my brother, Alex.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Jennifer.
- Good to meet you.
- You too.
Listen, uh, I'm over in the corner with a bunch of my friends, if you want to join us.
Oh, uh, are you sure? Absolutely.
Come over and have a drink.
- Okay.
- 'Kay.
- Thank you.
- Nice meeting you.
- Yeah.
- All right, um - I'm gonna go say hi.
- See? - Do you want to - No.
- Okay.
- It's not my thing.
- It's yours thing.
- It's your thing.
Have fun.
JENNIFER: Guys, this is Valerie.
- VALERIE: How's it going? - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
JENNIFER: We got Ria, Ashley, Jessica, and Stephanie.
[sighs.]
- - [phone chimes.]
[phone chimes.]
[loud moaning.]
[panting.]
[moans.]
Our children are going to be such good friends.
MAN: Oh I'm so happy now I'm so happy now I'm so happy now Finally decided WOMAN: Finally decided MAN: We can't be divided WOMAN: We can't be divided MAN: Well, I finally decided WOMAN: Finally decided MAN: We can't be divided WOMAN: We can't be divided MAN: Oh, whoa, now