Dead to Me (2019) s02e03 Episode Script

1
["THE TIME HAS COME" BY
THE UNTOUCHABLES PLAYING]
The time has come ♪
When you must prove your love to me ♪
Forget about the one ♪
You're thinking of ♪
And give your heart to me ♪
The time has come ♪
When you must change your mind ♪
Your way ♪
And think of me every day ♪
This way I know it's true love ♪
- I live for the day ♪
- [TAP CLOSES]
[OCEAN WAVES CRASHING]
[TAP OPENS]
[OCEAN WAVES CRASHING]
[DOOR UNLOCKS]
[WAVES CRASHING]
- [JUDY] Oh, hey.
- [GASPS]
Judy, Jesus Christ.
What are you doing in here?
Just keeping Steve company.
Okay.
- And playing ocean sounds because
- [SOUNDS STOP]
'Cause I can't sleep.
And I don't think Steve can either.
Okay. I think he's asleep.
Hon, I think he's the most asleep.
Look, Judy, you can't be out
here in the middle of the night
snuggling a freezer.
I mean, what if one of the boys
walked in? What would they think?
Okay, well, I'm sorry,
but it seems wrong to have him out
here alone, trapped in this thing.
Okay. I know that it's
not the ideal situation,
but we agreed, remember?
- Yeah.
- That the freezer
- is the safest place to keep him
- [SIGHS]
at least for now, right?
Right. I just didn't know that
I was gonna feel this way.
I don't think this is what Steve wants.
Oh, God. "What Steve wants."
I was in my room, and suddenly,
I smelled sea fennel
- and cypress.
- That's horrible.
That's his body wash.
Oh.
So then I come in here,
and that motion light is already on.
- It's a sign.
- Of what?
That he doesn't want to be here.
Okay.
He hated confined spaces.
Elevators scared him. Sorry.
- He was sensitive about that.
- Okay.
Listen, Judy, you have got to find
a way to put this out of your mind
- so that you can start
- I just want to stay here for a minute.
You need to start to move on.
Okay?
How do I move on when
he's frozen 50 feet
from where I sleep every night?
I don't know. You have to
compartmentalize, okay?
Just try not to think about it.
It's not what I'm thinking,
it's about what I'm feeling.
[JEN SIGHS]
- That was weird.
- That was Steve.
I'm just saying, spirits have been known
to communicate through lights.
It's a documented thing.
Okay, you know what else
communicates through lights?
Electricity.
I know it's hard for you to go
there with the spirit thing,
'cause it scares you.
That doesn't scare me. Rotting
in a women's prison scares me.
Yeah. I bet those places
are riddled with ghosts.
Judy, I have enough going on
without you projecting
your spiritual shit
- on everything. Okay?
- Okay.
See? No need to Sixth Sense ourselves
into a fucking heart attack.
[JEN] Maybe there's something
wrong with the sensor.
[RUMBLING]
- Did you hear that?
- Yes, I heard that.
Oh, God.
- Shh!
- I
I am shushing.
- Do you think that he's in there?
- No, no, he's not.
He's he's not.
- What are you doing?
- I'm just
- See what's going on here.
- Oh, no. Be careful.
You know I don't like the grabbing.
[JUDY PANTING]
- Be careful.
- You're breathing really loud.
Thank you.
[EXHALES]
[RUMBLING]
[SHUDDERS] Okay.
- [RATS SQUEAKING]
- [BOTH SCREAMING]
- Oh, my God! No! No, no!
- [JUDY PANTING]
- No! No!
- No, don't hurt 'em!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[EXTERMINATOR] Yeah,
you definitely got rats.
- Oh, yeah, we know that.
- We met them.
- See this?
- [JEN] Uh-huh.
How it's kind of, like,
round on the edges?
Mouse droppings are sharper.
It's the anal glands.
- Doesn't seem like necessary information.
- I didn't know that. Interesting.
Uh, so how do we get rid of them?
Seal off points of entry, set
some bait traps. Pretty basic.
But is it normal that there are so many?
It's the heat, brah.
Brah, it's the heat.
Brah, I know.
Rats can't regulate their body temp.
They find a cool place, they set up
camp, especially if there's food.
- You got meat in here?
- [JEN GASPS]
Uh, yeah, there's some
special things in there.
Yeah, 'cause they can smell
blood from a mile away.
They can't get in there, right?
[LAUGHS] Wrong.
They got fucking
razor-sharp teeth, dude.
They'll Shawshank their
way through anything.
[GASPS] Okay.
Oh, my God.
- Don't touch that.
- I know.
[JEN] Really? On top of everything else,
now we have a swarm of fucking
rats we have to deal with?
I'm telling you, it's a sign.
What, that the world's melting?
No. That we have to move Steve
before the rats tunnel in.
- How do we do that, Judy?
- I don't know.
But I think we should
explore some options.
No, don't go in the Google!
The FBI can trace your phone.
Shit. How else do we figure out
what to do with a dead body?
I don't know. All I can think about
is stuff that happens in movies
that involve, like, wood chippers
or dissolving a body in a
bathtub with whatever it is
they dissolve bodies in bathtubs with.
- [GASPS] We are not doing that!
- No.
No, I was giving examples
of things we wouldn't do.
[WHIRRING]
There is a beautiful
Thai Buddhist ritual
where they wash the body hands first
- We could put him in a suitcase.
- Jen!
That is the man I was gonna marry.
Okay, I'm
I'm sorry. I'm just
exploring options here.
[SIGHS] What about a burial at sea, hmm?
Steve loved the ocean.
He was such a strong swimmer.
Okay, that is lovely,
but I don't have a boat,
and I don't have time to
get my captain's license.
Okay, but we can rent one.
No, because then the FBI will
know that we rented a boat.
I really think that we moved
too fast past the suitcase.
Jen.
He's a person who lived a life.
I think his soul deserves to
be put to rest with dignity.
- Dignity?
- Yes.
Judy, he left Ted to die.
He used you to launder money.
He he dumped you
after five miscarriages.
- I know, but
- No, he is a monster!
Why are you worried about his soul?
You should be worried about us.
- Because I owe it to him.
- Why?
Because it's my fault that he's dead.
No, no, you weren't
You weren't even there.
I brought him into your life.
I turned him in, but
I never thought he would get
angry enough to try to kill you.
[STEVE] Why, you are
a mean fucking bitch.
- [GRUNTING]
- [STEVE WINCES]
[BOTH PANTING]
- It's not your fault.
- It is.
It is. It's my karma.
- It's what I get.
- No, no. [SIGHS]
No, it's not It's not your karma.
I promise.
[SNIFFLES]
Listen, we
will get rid of the rats, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
[SHUDDERS] Then what do we do about him?
He cannot stay in there forever.
No, I mean
not forever, it's
Maybe
Maybe just until the boys go
to college, you know, just
in case I have to go away.
They'll be okay on their own.
I mean, it's only seven years.
That's a really long time.
I don't know what else to fucking do.
I just don't know if
we could live like this.
We have to.
You know, I gotta say,
every time we're in this house,
the more perfect the
two of you look in it.
Or should I say the three of you?
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- [MAN] Yeah.
I hope you don't think we're
paranoid for taking one last look.
Oh, God, no. Not at all. I mean,
this is gonna be your house.
And now that the offer's been accepted,
you can start planning how
to make it yours, you know,
what window treatments you're gonna
get, maybe get some built-ins.
- We're having second thoughts.
- Come again?
The inspection showed that there
was mold in the bathroom.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw that.
It's really not that big of a deal.
It's black mold.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, but it's, like, trace amount,
which is basically nothing.
Well, if it was nothing,
then the inspector would
have said he found nothing.
Hmm. Yeah. You know,
I feel that sometimes inspectors think
that they have to find something
because you paid for the inspection.
- You know what I mean?
- Not really.
[MAN] We can pull out of
escrow if we want, right?
It's just, with a baby,
we feel like we need to be
extra careful, you know?
- Oh, no, I get it. I get it. I'm a mom.
- [WOMAN] Mm-hmm.
But honestly,
I think we worry about stuff
that no one used to care about.
My mom smoked heavily through
her entire pregnancy,
and I'm, you know, fucking awesome.
I just feel like because I know
that that mold is there
[MAN] It's just so hard to remove.
I won't be able to think
about anything else.
Look, no place is perfect.
You're not gonna find a house
that doesn't have shit
that you have to ignore.
I mean, I wish that black mold
was the worst thing
going on in my house.
[SIGHS] 'Cause I have rats.
[MAN] Oh.
[JEN] No, I know, Lorna.
Yes, I told them that trace
is basically nothing.
You know what? I don't know
what else to tell you.
It it's not my fault that
they're fucking pussies
that want to protect the
life of their unborn child.
- [STAMMERS, SIGHS] Bye.
- [BEEPS]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[WHIRRING CONTINUING]
What the fuck?
Fuck you, Steve.
[LOCK CLICKS]
[FLO] Get me out of here.
[MICHELLE] Mom, please calm
down, okay? Please, just
[FLO] You can't keep me in this
place. I want to go home.
[MICHELLE] I know, I know you do,
but you can't live alone anymore.
And this is a really nice place.
There's, like, a year-long waiting list.
If you love it so much, you live here.
[JUDY] I'd be sad to see you go, Flo.
[FLO] I wasn't talking to you.
Yeah, but your voice
kind of carries, so
- [SNORTS] Ballsy.
- Yeah.
I realized that I forgot to tell
you that I teach a painting class.
Tuesdays and Thursdays at nine.
Mom, you might like that.
That sounds cool.
"Cool."
Did you paint that?
Uh, no, I don't really do seascapes.
Well, good, 'cause it's awful.
She's an art critic.
[JUDY] Oh, you're right.
She's got a good eye.
I mean, like, what the hell, right?
- [FLO] Yeah.
- Who did that?
I'm gonna get rid of it.
Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- You're just gonna take it?
- Yeah. You don't like it, it's out.
- You didn't like it, Mom.
- [JUDY] Yeah.
Who knows what I'm gonna do with it?
I'm just lawless. I'm crazy.
- [IMITATES EXPLOSION]
- Oh.
It's okay, right?
You really don't want it?
No, you can take it.
Hey.
Um, thank you for that.
- I appreciate it.
- Oh, sure.
And I apologize. Uh,
my mom is tough stuff.
Oh, stop, she's not that bad.
- Well, she's not your mom.
- No.
My mom's a drug addict.
So there's that.
- Touché.
- [LAUGHS] Um
You know, a lot of residents
hate it here at first,
but then they start to like it.
- Just makes it hard on the families.
- [SIGHS] Yeah.
Can I get you anything?
You want a coffee
or a pudding or weed?
- There you go.
- Yes.
I was wondering when
you would share that.
- I was hoping you'd be wondering.
- [CHUCKLES]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[WHIRRING CONTINUING]
- [STEVE] Why?
- [JEN GASPS]
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
[JUDY] What did you do?
["RAGE UNRESTRAINED"
BY EXCESSUM PLAYING]
I fucking hate everyone ♪
And I fucking hate everything ♪
I want to eliminate ♪
[PHONE VIBRATES]
And I fucking hate ♪
Everyone, everything ♪
Eliminate hypocrisy ♪
Everyone, everything ♪
Eliminate hypocrisy ♪
No, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Why are you trying to
get rid of a dead body?
[GASPS] Oh, God. Jesus, Shandy.
Um, I'm not I'm not
Uh, I'm not trying to
get rid of a dead body.
I was, uh That was, uh, autofill.
- Getting rid of a freezer.
- Okay.
Why are you here?
- Playdate. Henry's in the bathroom.
- Oh, right. Okay.
Yeah, I didn't realize that was today.
If I were gonna get rid of a dead
body, I'd put it in Angeles Forest.
- Wait, what?
- It's where gangs dump their dead.
They say there's more
bodies there than trees.
Oh, Shandy, how do
why do you know that?
I read about it on the dark
web. It's a good resource.
Okay, gosh, you really
just You have
You got a lot going on
up in there, don't you?
Wait, what's your dad's deal again?
He lives off the grid.
[SNAPS FINGERS] That was it.
Hey. Wanna swim?
I'm kind of an indoor child.
Okay, we could do karaoke.
You like to sing?
Does a praying mantis eat its own mate?
- It does.
- [JEN] Okay.
Oh. Okay, cool. Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Dark web. That's so dumb.
Oh, God. Sick world. [SIGHS]
All right. Dark web.
[TYPES] "The dark web."
[MICHELLE] If I'm being honest,
I thought it was, like, the
good daughter thing to do,
but it was rough.
Oh, wow, so she was living with you?
Yeah, for a year.
It was a complete disaster.
We were at each other's throats. [SIGHS]
It's amazing that you tried.
Most people don't.
Yeah, well, we're Cuban.
It's what we do.
Oh, I didn't realize that.
But, um
then she broke her hip
while I was at work, so
I just can't leave her alone anymore.
I'm sorry she's so unhappy here.
[EXHALES] Please.
She's unhappy everywhere.
It's like she gave up on
joy when my dad died.
[CHUCKLES] Sorry, this is
not exactly fun banter.
Well, sometimes you
don't want fun banter.
Sometimes you just want
Depressing chitchat?
- Oh, I am so here for a sad chat.
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
You have no idea.
Honestly
it sucks.
My mom used to be so cool.
- She was funny
- [EXHALES]
and, like, vibrant. [SIGHS]
And it's like, after my dad, she just
withdrew, you know?
Like, she felt guilty
being happy or something,
like it was a betrayal.
I mean, yeah, I get that.
[MICHELLE] I don't.
I think it's selfish.
Really?
I mean, come on, like,
we're all gonna die at
some point, you know?
It's life. It's what happens.
But the world keeps going, and
other people need you.
It's like you have a choice:
You either go down with the ship or
you grab a fucking life raft
and you hold on, you know?
Yeah. Yes.
Wow. Yes.
It's like in Titanic,
like, do you want to be Leo,
or do you want to be the
old lady who lives forever?
Well, I mean,
I definitely want to be the old lady,
but I'm not quite sure
she lives forever.
[LAUGHS] She doesn't?
- No. Her heart will go on and on
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
but pretty sure her body
gives out at some point.
[MICHELLE] Aw, man, I really
misunderstood that movie as a kid.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[JUDY SOBS] What do we do?
[LOCK CLICKS]
[TICKING]
- [HENRY] Mom.
- [GASPS]
[HENRY] Where's the peanut butter?
What are you doing in here?
Honey, that door was locked.
No, it wasn't.
What's with the oven mitts?
[STUTTERING] Okay, I need
you guys to get out of here.
- Why?
- Because because it's not safe.
- Why?
- Because we have rats.
Will you please stop asking?
I need you to get out of here.
[HENRY] When did we get rats?
Did you know that rats'
teeth never stop
Okay, I just need you to
get the fuck out of here!
[STAMMERS] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry I yelled.
Okay, I'm just I'm a
little stressed right now.
What, um
What did you need?
You wanted peanut butter?
- No.
- [JEN] You want me to make you a snack?
- No?
- [HENRY] No.
Let's see if Cooper's
home across the street.
He might be done with Hebrew school.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SALESWOMAN] Can I help you?
Um um
If I wanted if I, uh
like, needed to dissolve
Something stuck in your pipes?
Yeah. Yeah, something's stuck.
This will dissolve anything,
including your skin.
You'll probably want to grab
some chemically resistant gloves
and a mask just to be safe.
- Okay.
- And don't cheap out.
Okay, no. Just the best ones.
- The best one's right there?
- Yeah, this one right here..
That one's great, too.
- Okay, so just
- Yeah.
- There's a lot of stuff stuck.
- Yeah. Go for it.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Have a great day.
It's just it's some hair.
It's just, like, a big bunch of
hair, but I don't like that.
- [SALESWOMAN] Good luck.
- Bye, thank you.
- [PANTING]
- [LIQUID POURING]
[WATCH TICKING]
[PANTING CONTINUES]
[PANTING]
[SIZZLING]
[PANTING]
[GASPS, COUGHING]
- Hey, Jen.
- Oh, fuck!
- Are you all right?
- Fuck, you scared me. Yeah.
What's with the glove?
- What's that smell?
- I'm cleaning.
No, don't go in there,
no No, Judy, don't
- Oh, my God.
- No.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing. Now, Judy
- Oh, my God!
- Listen
- No, no, no. It was a rat.
- Open the freezer.
- I want to see him!
- No, you don't. It was just a rat.
You don't want to see him.
- Trust me.
- Trust you?
How can I trust you when you
were upstairs with that
He's in here, okay?
He's in here. I was just
[STAMMERS] I was just trying something,
because you're right, I can't do this.
I can't do this. I have to
get him out of this house.
I have to get him out of here.
What happened to "wait until
the kids are in college"?
Do you realize how long that
is? Henry's fucking ten!
I know, it's a ridiculously long time.
That's why I was coming to tell you
that whatever you wanna do, I will do.
But if that is what you want to do,
- I won't do that.
- [SOBBING] No, I don't want to do that!
I don't know what I want to do!
I don't know what to do.
I'm freaking the fuck out here.
Henry came in here today.
I had the freezer open, and he almost
Oh, my God!
What if he saw something, Judy?
- What if he saw something?
- Okay.
You know what? He didn't.
- You're okay.
- No, I'm not okay.
I'm not okay. I don't
know how to do this.
[SOBS] I don't know how to do it either.
- But you did it. [SNIFFLES]
- I did what?
The thing, the living
here with me after Ted,
pretending that everything was fine.
Oh, honey, nothing was fine.
It was awful.
It was terrible. I couldn't do it.
I had to tell you the truth.
[JEN MUMBLING]
[SNIFFLES, SOBS]
[STEVE] Why, you are
a mean fucking bitch.
- [GRUNTS]
- [GASPS]
Why? [GASPS]
[GASPS]
[STAMMERS]
Judy, I have something
I have something that I [GASPS]
- What the fuck?
- Whoa.
- [BANGS]
- Ow! Fucking cunt.
- Are you okay?
- Fuck, yeah, I'm fine. [PANTING]
Looks like the whole block is out.
Huh? Oh, God, great.
On the hottest day of the year.
Oh, my God. Judy.
The freezer.
He could thaw.
- We gotta get him out of there.
- How?
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- Um, it's Christopher.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, us too.
Really?
He said half the county's down.
Yeah. Uh, yeah, thank you.
Yeah, we'll call if we need anything.
And you call if you
Okay, good, 'cause I really
don't have the capacity
to help anyone right now.
All right, bye.
Oh, shit.
- [SHANDY] Hey.
- [BOTH SHOUT]
- Did I scare you?
- [JUDY] Yes, you are terrifying.
- Good job.
- Okay, where's Henry?
I'm right here. [LAUGHS]
- Okay.
- Look. I'm invisible.
- That's great. That's amazing.
- [SHANDY] Me, too.
Cute.
I might have a new plan.
- Are you sure that this is
- No.
- Not at all.
- [SIGHS]
Oh, wait, I feel like you were
gonna say something earlier.
Was I?
Yeah, right when the power went off.
Oh.
Yeah, um
[SNIFFLES] I just wanted to
tell you that I forgive you.
Just thought you should know that.
[INHALES]
[EXHALES]
['50S ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING]
The time has come ♪
When you must prove your love to me ♪
Forget about the one ♪
You're thinking of ♪
And give your heart to me ♪
The time has come ♪
When you must prove
you really love me ♪
Forget about the one ♪
You're thinking of ♪
And give your heart to me ♪
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[MEOWS]