Dog with a Blog (2012) s02e03 Episode Script

It was a dark and stormy night, and the talking dog was holding a flashlight.
Wait a second.
It's a blog.
No one can see me.
I've never quite understood Halloween.
Why do people get so excited about dressing up to beg for treats? I beg for treats every day, and I don't have to wear makeup to do it.
Unless I want to feel pretty.
I didn't hit save! Where is Avery? Should we start without her? Uh, Tyler, we cannot plan Halloween without Avery.
Avery is Halloween.
She does plan an amazing party.
Her effects were so realistic last year we still can't get those Ghost Hunters to leave us alone.
Get out of here! Sorry I'm late.
I don't know where my head is at.
Whoa! Whoa! Avery, you're an awesome prankster and a Halloween genius.
And like the candy we get on Halloween, you're fun size.
Avery, I hope your plans are amazing this year.
Yeah, because last year was so incredible, now everyone wants to come.
Will you get out of here! We are all alive! Yeah, Avery, this party better be great because I'm counting on all the cute girls I'm inviting getting scared so I can comfort them.
I'm counting on all the boys I was forced to include getting scared so they'll run away.
I don't like boys.
Or people who force me to include them.
All right, Halloween is days away, and as members of the planning committee, here are your assignments.
Mom, stay out of my way.
Dad, stay out of my way.
Tyler, stay out of my way.
Chloe, you're my assistant.
- Yes! What do I do? - Stay out of my way.
But I'm the senior VP of skeletons, eyeballs, and "woo" sounds.
Dad, that was just a figurehead position.
It didn't mean anything.
But it meant something to me.
So, aren't you even going to tell us what you're planning? Well, after last year when Chloe spoiled the surprise that the witch would be vomiting pea soup on everyone as they walked by Everything is now on a need-to-know basis.
And what did I tell you, Chloe? Snitches hurt witches.
Fine, Avery.
You're the boss.
And I'm not just saying that because I'm hoping to be considered as the new VP of "woo" sounds.
I just have one request; That Stan stays outside for the party.
We don't want him running to the front door barking every time the doorbell rings.
I can't talk in front of her, I can't bark, I can't wear her nightgowns.
What can I do? Why do you want to be at the party so much? I thought you didn't care about Halloween.
I care even less for being locked outside while everyone else goes wild.
It's like being the cashier at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Stan, mom doesn't want you in the house.
Unless she doesn't know that it's you.
Easy.
I'll change my name.
Captain America.
Stan, you can't change your name to Captain America.
What, it's not a free country? Because that's what Captain America fights for.
Well, I was thinking more like a costume.
Great idea.
I know just what to wear.
Get it? I'm a hot dog! Stan, the point is to wear a costume that disguises who you are.
Got it.
Look at me.
I'm an Italian sausage.
Hey, guys.
Check this out.
You realize that he's at least the hundredth kid who's done that in the last three days? Yeah, but he's the first one to make it work.
Well, here's a zany idea.
Why don't you go talk to him? Yeah, the last time I tried that, I accidentally embarrassed him in front of the whole school and now he wants nothing to do with me.
I just have to find something that we both have in common.
For example, he's always loved football.
So starting today, I've always loved football.
Name two teams.
Home and away.
What else are you changing about yourself? I'm very into steampunk, whatever that is.
Okay, so here's what we're gonna do.
Lindsay, when he heads to class, you throw me this football and I'll catch it right in front of him.
Yep, nothing reels in a guy like hand-eye coordination.
Ooh, ooh, I'm going long! - What does that mean? - I don't know, just throw it! Avery! - Did I catch the ball? - No.
- Did Wes notice me? - No.
Good.
You know, if you're looking for something you have in common, he loves Halloween.
Isn't that, like, your big thing? Lindsay, why didn't you tell me this before I face-planted into the locker? I was excited.
I've never thrown a football before.
I'm still not sure you've thrown a football.
He loves Halloween? How did I miss that? I must have been too busy looking forward to Saint Patrick's day.
I wasn't going to wear green and he was going to pinch me and we'd be together forever.
Simple.
All I know is I overheard him tell Dwight Chandler that he loves Halloween and can't wait to go to his party.
You guys, this is perfect.
I'll go to Dwight Chandler's party and totally connect with Wes over our love of Halloween.
Because I sure can't connect with him over the fact that we both walk to his house after school.
Him on the sidewalk and me ducking behind bushes and cars.
Oh, so what should my costume be? I need something cute but scary.
How about you right now? What do you think? Oh, you're a mer-dog.
No, I'm ruff seas.
Ruff seas? Come on! Stan, I thought the point is that you don't want mom and dad to catch you at the party.
You need to be completely hidden.
Right.
Wait a minute, if I'm in a costume where no one knows I'm even a dog That means I could talk to people.
I could talk to anyone! I could even talk to Bennett and Ellen.
Ah, it's overrated.
I have a question I'm dying to ask each of them.
But I also have a question I'm dying to ask you.
- Why are you dressed like Chloe? - I'm not dressed like Chl Chloe, you can't go as a fortune teller.
That's my thing.
I'm gonna tell the girls at the party that I can see their destiny.
You will have a date with a tall, dark fortune teller.
I see failure in your future.
You don't have to be a fortune teller to see that.
I know you're checking out my tail.
Ellen, I will ask the kids which one of us gets to wear oh.
Bennett, we need to decide which one of us You gotta be kidding me.
We're fortune tellers.
How did none of us see this coming? I am the only one coming even close to the accent.
And you guys make fun of my gold clogs.
So, um, I kind of have some bad news.
I'm not going to be able to go to our family party.
I'm going to Dwight Chandler's with my friends.
What? Avery, you have been planning this party for months.
You made me buy hundreds of dollars of snake intestines.
They're in the garage and they're starting to stink.
I said fake intestines.
So what about all the sheep eyes? I said cheap pies.
Oh.
That explains the suggestion to serve them warm with ice cream.
Look, I can help you guys set up the party, but you're gonna have to run everything on your own, I'm not gonna be here.
Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry, Avery, but you are going be here, we can't do this without you.
Setting up is not enough.
We can't pull this stuff off like you can.
Are you forgetting what happened when I tried to do your "head falling off" bit and got stuck? Why won't it come unstuck? Avery made it look so easy! I'm gonna have to get a job in a bell tower.
See, Avery? We need you.
Well, I need to go to Dwight's party.
- Wes is gonna be there.
- Who's Wes? Oh, it's not important.
But it's really important! Avery, you sent fliers to all our neighbors.
We have people coming.
Forget people.
I have girls coming and I'm dressed like my mom.
I have boys coming.
Thanks again, Mommy.
Yuck.
Please.
If my happiness means anything to you There are going to be a lot of boys in your life, Avery.
No, no, there not.
Plus, you made a commitment to this family.
And to all of our friends.
I mean, we don't bail just because we get a better offer.
You do not have permission to go to that party.
This is so unfair! You know what would be unfair? A houseful of guests eating sheep eyes a la mode and not one of them is covered in witch puke.
Fine.
You can make me miss Dwight's party, but you can't make me help you with yours.
I'm on strike this Halloween.
This party is doomed.
No, really, this party's doomed.
Care for some "horror" d'oeuvres? It's not scary if they can see your entire body, dad.
And what are you guys dressed as anyway? We are the scariest time of day Midnight.
Well, I'm glad midnight made it to this party, because this party's not making it to midnight.
Avery, you are not going to that other party, so you should just honor your commitment and help us turn this party around.
I am not going to help you.
So why don't you just let me go to Dwight's party while there's still time for me to meet up with Wes? Well, I guess we'll just see who cracks first, won't we? We will.
Did this just become a staring contest? - No.
- Then why don't you blink? Because I want to win the staring contest.
I've gotta blink! My eyes dry out! It's not fair! Avery, I, I get why you're mad at mom and dad.
But you're killing us.
This party is terrible.
Why are you dressed as a strip of bacon? This was the only costume left at the last minute and I had to return my other costume because someone's paper covered my scissors.
- Scissors cuts paper.
- Dang it! Come on, Avery, you have to save this party.
The only cute girl here is that Vegetarian in the corner and I'm dressed as breakfast meat! Please, save this party, none of the boys are running away screaming.
Or peeing their pants.
Not even a little fear-tinkle.
Avery, save this party or I'll curse you! I'm sorry, you guys.
I have made a stand and I'm sticking to it.
I curse you! We have to do something to get Avery back in the Halloween spirit.
Hey, maybe if we pull a scary prank on her.
She loves those.
We'll rig a trap so a bucket of fake blood dumps all over her.
It'll snap her right back into the Halloween mood.
Or she'll just be really mad and covered in fake blood.
Either way, I'll be happy.
And if that doesn't work, I'll need a chicken and a chalice.
Okay, you're starting to freak me out.
Hey, who's that good looking robot? There's the sugar! What is a robot's favorite dance? The twist.
You thought I was going to say the robot.
Wow, that's a great costume, Stan.
I can't even tell you're a dog in that.
I know.
Now I'm gonna go find Bennett and Ellen.
Oh, I can't wait to talk to them! There are these questions that I'm dying to ask them.
What are they? Well, actually, they're they're kind of personal between me and them.
Now if only I could see better out of these eye holes.
Oh, that's my bad.
Excuse me, scary guy.
Human coming through.
Ow, oh, boy.
Okay.
There it is.
Now's my chance.
Uh, hi.
Oh, hello.
Well, that's an interesting costume.
I can't believe I'm actually talking to you.
Oh, you're a fan? You've read my books? Okay, so you obviously know me.
What's your name? I'm, uh, Jack.
O'lanternberg.
That's an interesting name.
Yes.
My father was a Rabbi in Ireland.
Anyway, there's a question I really want to ask you.
It's about your dog.
I'm thinking of getting one for my kids.
Oh.
Well, I gotta tell ya, he really brought our family together.
- Aw, stop it.
- Hmm.
So here's my question.
What was it about this dog that made you pick him? I mean, you must have had a lot of choices.
Well, when I was at the shelter, I just thought about my kids.
Chloe and Tyler were simple.
Chloe loves animals, and Tyler's Simple.
My real challenge was going to be finding a dog that Avery could connect with.
And when I looked into Stan's eyes, I could just see this intelligence behind them that the other dogs Just didn't have.
And I knew Avery and Stan were gonna be best friends.
Are you okay? Yeah, I was just thinking, Which dog should I choose? Well, good luck.
Enjoy the party.
And, uh, good luck enjoying the party.
I don't believe it.
It's so beautiful.
Hey! Oh, hey, Stan.
Bacon knows my name! - Hey, girls.
- Oh, hi, Mrs.
Jennings.
- Have you seen Avery? - Oh, I think she's on the patio.
Hey, Lindsay, weren't you the mad hatter last year? Well, yeah, it's the one outfit that goes with my favorite hat.
And what are you supposed to be, Max? I'm a twenty-eight-year-old barista with a master's degree.
Scary, huh? Hey, what are you guys doing here? You're supposed to be at Dwight Chandler's party, spying on Wes, and telling me everything he does, says, thinks, and likes.
Without actually talking to him, because he's mine.
Well, we had a better idea.
We spent the whole time at Dwight's party saying how awesome this party is.
Then we started a rumor someone farted in Dwight's punch bowl.
Then someone farted in Dwight's punch bowl.
Who's your best friend? The point is, Wes bailed on Dwight's.
He's on his way.
Wait, Wes is coming here? To this party? Well, yeah, we said it was great.
Woo! I think we may have oversold it.
Well, Avery, I hope you're happy.
The party's over.
No! No, it is not.
We are going to make this the best Halloween party ever.
But this party is dead.
No.
It's alive.
It's alive! I was just flicking the lights so everyone knows it's time to go home! And I dropped this trash can lid.
Quickly, people, we've got to turn this party around! Tyler, get out of that costume.
You don't have to tell me twice! Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon Avery, we are very impressed by your change of heart.
Wish it would have come a little sooner.
Well, I realized I had made a commitment and I had to honor it.
That boy is coming over here, isn't he? Yes, he is.
So snap to! Ooh, wait.
- Wha Avery! - Wh hey! What are you doing? No one gets "midnight".
You're dominoes.
Now get to work.
Domino? More like domi-yes.
That was not a good one, Ellen.
Hi.
Uh, Ellen, right? Yeah.
Who is that under there? My name's Jack O'lanternberg.
My father was a leprechaun in Israel.
I was talking to your husband earlier about your dog.
Oh, Stan didn't get in, did he? I told the kids to keep him outside.
No, he hasn't bothered me at all.
Actually, he seems very sweet and lovable.
And handsome.
And really smart.
I've seen him eat a pine cone.
He's not that smart.
So there's something I really want to know.
Why don't you like dogs? Why do you really want to know that? I'm a robot.
I thirst for knowledge.
It's not that I don't like dogs, it's just that, um Something happened once.
I don't want to talk about it.
- Well, I certainly don't want to pry - When I was eight, I was a lonely girl.
I didn't get along with my sister, my parents weren't around that much and I had no friends.
And then one day, this dog followed me home from school.
I named him Rascal and he became my best friend.
The only one I could talk to.
When I'd sit on the couch, he'd put his head on my lap and, suddenly I didn't feel alone.
And then one day, he, he just ran away and I was alone again.
I've never liked dogs since then.
Oh, my gosh, I, I had no idea.
Well, how would you? You know, not all dogs are the same.
I bet if you gave your dog a chance, he just might surprise you.
The only time he ever surprised me was when the whole pine cone came out.
It surprised me, too.
Avery, this place looks amazing! You look amazing! How did you do it all so quickly? The real question is, how did you do what you did with so much time? That's right, boys.
Run.
Watch the fear-tinkle.
Pretty six-y, huh? Oops, I miscounted.
I'll get back to you with a five joke.
Is he coming? Wes and his friends are walking up the driveway.
They'll be here any second.
Well, I'm ready for them.
Ooh, wait, I'm gonna make an entrance.
Wow, this place looks cool.
Hey, whose party is this again? Oh, what's this doing here? This doesn't look safe.
Oh, no! We forgot to take down our fake blood prank! No! No! No! No! Whoa! That was an awesome stunt! You look great! Thanks, I love Halloween.
So do I.
You know um, I'm really glad you're at my party.
Yeah, me too.
You know, you're pretty cool.
Look they're talking, isn't this great? I don't want to alarm you or anything but, I think the punch bowl farter is at your party.
Avery, I am so sorry, we had this prank set up, then I forgot And it worked out perfectly.
Just like we planned, now run along.
- Whoa! - Oh! We're dominoes, how did none of us see this coming? I did.
So Avery made a connection with Wes, and got something she always wanted And I got something I always wanted from Bennet and Ellen It meant more to me than I can say.
I can't wait till I get to talk to them next year.
I already know what I'm going as.
The punch bowl farter.
So then Wes said "You're pretty cool".
He said to me, "is this hummus?" But he's still yours I'm not going to swoop in.
Hey, who let you back in? Don't worry, I'll never leave you.
Ah, come on Stan, back outside till we're done cleaning up.
Don't worry about it, he's fine.
Hey you know, I was talking to the nicest guy about Stan Really, so was I.
Oh look he's still here, let's go say hi.
Ah, hey Jack.
I didn't know you were still here.
How's it going? Great.
It was really nice talking to you guys tonight.
- Oh - Aw, thanks.
You too.
Oh no! Jack are you alright? Where are those Ghost Hunters when you need them?