Doll and Em (2013) s02e03 Episode Script

Why do you automatically give him the first one? Is it because you feel sorry for him or because you love him more? Where's Dolly? Isn't she our new au pair? She wants to be at the theatre early, get to know the space.
- Is your play going to be embarrassing? - No.
Hey.
Do you want a pancake? Er No, thanks.
I think I'm going to stick to granola.
Where is the granola? Dunno.
I bought a full box yesterday.
Everything all right with your beard? It's cold, dark, wet and lonely, but when you think about it, space is a pretty good place When you think about it, space is a pretty good place to start again.
I don't think you should talk like that in your audition.
Clear away your plates! We're going to be late! We are late, again! Eddie took ages this morning putting gel in his hair for Amy! I hate you, and why are you always so mean to me? Why are you always so weird? And you cry all the time.
You're just like Dolly! Right! No TV for a month for either of you! - Shit! - I didn't mean to do anything! Don't answer me back! Stop shouting! You're looking so ugly! Right! No TV or computers for either of you for a month! You'll never stick to that.
OK.
OK.
Do you know what? Both give me your devices now, and I am making sure that you go to bed at 6.
30 tonight?! Do you understand me?! Thanks, guys! At least you've loosened my throat! Go! Original script by MemoryOnSmells Oh, God.
I'm so sorry, Doll.
I had my audition.
I guess we just wanted to say welcome aboard and, erm, I don't know, bon voyage! We wanted to thank all of you for your faith in this project.
- It means so much to us.
- Yes.
Thank you so much.
It means everything, really, because, in a way, this play, even though we didn't realise it at the time, is something that we've been getting ready for our whole lives.
So, if it works, it will be a symbol of our amazing friendship and collaboration.
What a lovely word.
If it doesn't we've got a lot to lose.
Yeah! I can't believe we're doing this, Em.
I know.
We are.
It's amazing.
Erm So, erm, thank you all for just, for making our dreams come true.
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
Here, here.
So, I should introduce everybody.
- OK! - Erm This is Evan, who'll be playing Grace and Peter.
- Hey.
- Hello.
And Grace's mum, Hillary, and this is Olivia, who'll be playing Lilly, and this is Blake, Lilly's mum, and Aggie, who'll be playing Lilly's daughter, and Sam, who'll be playing Lilly's son.
I'm John.
I'm going to be doing, er, Lilly's husband, Max.
Erm Just super excited.
I can't believe that I've just got a fake mum whereas your whole family are going to hate you after this! I know.
Are you English? Yeah.
Yeah.
- Me, too.
- Oh, I thought so.
Why? The shoes, and, erm, not very spatially aware, are you? Sorry.
Hey, are we going to get the actual shoes for rehearsal, the real shoes? It would just be really helpful to have them.
Oh, God, no.
They're imagined shoes.
Bummer.
So I mean, they're attracted to each other immediately, don't you think? Well, I I mean, in a kind of plutonic sort of kindred spirit kind of a way.
Really? I It seems more sexual, to me, than that.
Like, I think they're really into each other.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Grace reminds me so much of my girlfriend from college.
She was crazy.
She used to write the fiercest shit all over her T-shirts.
Oh.
She sounds like Chrissy Gavron.
Just an old girlfriend of mine.
When you were seven? Well, it started when we were seven, yeah.
Yeah, she was dope.
She got me into wearing suits, cross-dressing.
It just sort of stuck.
So, Evan, this is, obviously, not imagined, this is a real suit, and I've got a whole lot of clothes that I brought from home, which I think might be really helpful.
Oh, God.
Er Maybe that's - Don't decide yet.
- You know, it's totally I mean, I just don't know if we're here - There's all sorts.
- quite yet, but, erm Right, this would look ridiculously good on you.
Look at that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You got a second? Er Yeah, sure.
I just wanted to have a quick chat about the character.
Yes.
You know what? I've been wanting to talk to you about Max.
I think we should think about losing your beard.
Whoa.
Why? - Well - I mean, the beard explains everything.
It's a rebellion against a very controlling wife.
Oh, my God! Do you think? Shit.
It shows a lot of confidence.
You know? It takes a very confident man to keep a sexy woman.
Anyway, think about it.
But for now that is a total winner.
Oh, my God.
Look at that.
So nice.
Er You know what? It just I think we should put this on the back burner because we're just reading through it now.
That's true.
You don't want to wear it while you OK.
- No.
I think we'll find it.
- OK.
- Thank you.
- We'll do that later.
OK.
Ahhhh.
It's fine.
It looks like a healthy epiglottis.
- You sure? - Yeah.
It feels a little bit - raspy or something.
- No.
- Let me see.
- Ahhhh.
No, it's pink.
That's what it's supposed to be, isn't it? - Really? - It's fine.
Yeah.
OK.
God.
It's crazy having them all here saying our lines, isn't it? - How do you think it's going? - I don't know.
- It's quite exposing.
- I think it's really fun.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's kind of fascinating, though, - don't you think - Yeah.
just for character point of view, having her there.
Yeah.
I mean, it's interesting.
I mean, I'm sure we'll find stuff along the way, but I don't know, I just think you really lucked out.
I mean, come on, I got the boring one! Yeah, right.
- We're fine.
We'll figure it out.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know why you think it was you.
I'm sure I was the boring one.
You weren't boring.
You arrived late in that weird little beret, and just sort of quiet and mysterious.
I know, but then you completely trumped me by talking about your seven-year-old girlfriend, Chrissy Gavron! Where did that come from? Can I have a bite? - You guys are eating in here? - Yes.
You're both just slobs.
Well, Mikhail Baryshnikov called us artists today and that felt nicer somehow.
- Oh, yeah? - Yep.
Well, wait until he notices your greasy hair and dirty fingernails and overall chaos.
I think you like it, really.
Go on.
You think it's sexy.
Go on, admit it.
Oh, yeah, it's really hot when Em leaves her phone all over the city - and freaks out.
- Shut up.
Or when she eats and there's stuff on her teeth.
Yeah, Jeez, that's really a turn-on.
You get that, too, don't you? - Don't be rude! - Is that, like, an English thing? So, what, do you think that English girls just never have a bath or change their knickers and are just riddled with head lice? - Head lice, yes.
- It's not like it's the plague.
No, it's not the plague, but it's gross, little parasites crawling all around your head.
It's disgusting, and you posh girls are like, "Oh, just forget about it and it just goes away.
" Imagine if you'd got it now.
You'd have to shave your beard off.
That's not going to happen.
No, I know.
Anyway, we've got to go to the recital.
Yeah.
What time is it? Shit! How was the play rehearsal? - Yeah.
- It was all right.
It sounds a bit hokey, but I was sitting there thinking, "How the hell did we get ourselves into this?" Why do you guys do things you're not feeling? What is it with you two? What am I not giving you? You coming, Doll? No, I'm going to stay and have a bath, I think.
- Sure? - Bye, Doll.
Bye.
I had that audition today.
Oh, yeah? How'd that go? Good.
I think I really want that job! Oh.
Poor little things.
You've come such a long way.
Hey, Buddy.
Wotcha.
What are you doing right now? I was just washing my hair.
I was thinking you should come and have a drink with me.
What, now? I feel like I'm on the moon.
I've just completely lost my bearings.
I don't know where I am in New York.
It's hard.
It is a hard place.
And I didn't prepare anything.
I mean, I just wasn't ready for what it was going to be like.
Em is so busy with her family and auditions and Hey.
We, erm - Hey! - We did the, erm Yes, of course! It's Buddy.
- Buddy! - Hello, mate! - Hey! How are you? - Great to see you.
Take care.
- Hello.
- Hello.
This is Dolly.
She's writing and directing Joanne's Gift.
- Yeah, with Emily.
- A wonderful play, and I'm producing it.
Oh, I love Emily.
Yeah.
She might be in Space Pilgrim, yeah.
Right, yeah.
She said there's going to be actual space sounds.
So, what's it about? Do you really want to know? I don't really want to know, but I'm quite curious, you know? Well, there's pioneers on Mars, right And does anything unexpected happen? Well, my guy redeems his race with this crazy act of selflessness.
Ooh.
Sorry, I just had a shiver.
Yeah, go on.
Or maybe stop only because we don't have a lot of time to discuss the Yeah, but I kind of want to hear what happens at the end to save me seeing it.
- Right.
Well, I give all my powers - Mmm? to my wife, and you watch me dim and then she's resurrected and then she goes on to save the human race.
Wow.
So, your character is like an enormous iPhone charger.
You're incredible! - Do you want another drink? - I'd love one.
Buddy, get us a couple of mojitos, would you? What's your play all about? It's about two long-lost siblings - Wow.
It was amazing, wasn't it? - What a perfect daughter we have.
- Can you believe it? - It was so beautiful! OK.
Upstairs and in your PJs.
It's getting late, OK? Hello? Hey, guys.
What? I got Space Pilgrim? Wow! Wow! One goes in disguise and she has a beard.
One of the sisters has a beard? Yes, and the other sister falls in love with her cos, erm Come with me a minute.
I want to show you something.
Hi.
Hello.
- What? - Come in here.
Here.
I think it's great you're doing this.
I fucking love the theatre! - Do you? - I knew you were a writer.
You've got writer's hands.
Do you like to write in the morning or at night? Oh, God.
I don't know.
It depends.
I like to write at night while the city's sleeping.
Do you? Yeah.
Are you offering me drugs? No.
I wrote this last night.
Wow.
Tears from my crown.
I'm lost but found anew.
Lost in my frown, I'm up and I'm down.
If you stop me, I will die.
Tears from my crown, black, pool, black, pool.
- Like the city? - What? Blackpool, like the city? No, black A black pool of tears.
- A pool of tears.
- Oh.
Oh, yeah.
- I think you're really hot.
- Do you? - Yeah.
I really like you.
- I don't.
Look at my teeth.
No.
Sshh.
I like you.
I've liked you from the moment I saw you.
I've wanted to kiss you for hours.
No, I'm so excited about the movie, I'm just dreading telling Doll I can't really direct the play now either.
I'm sure she'll be fine about it.
I bet that's Dolly and she's forgotten her keys again.
Don't worry, I'll get it! Mum, I think that's Doll at the door.
I'll just be a second, OK? OK.
Has she also forgotten we have kids? - Hey.
- Hi.
Gosh.
Is everything OK? - Are you OK? - Yeah.
I think so.
Come on, I sensed it.
It's OK.
Come on.
This isn't really the best time.
I was just Skyping my mum in England.
- Hi, Mum! - Oh! Who's that?! Mum? I've got to go now, OK? Love you, Momma.
Olivia? Olivia? Mmm.
Another one.
Oh, it's amazing.
This is where you sleep, where you dream, where you fuck.
Oh! It's where you nursed your babies! Wow! My husband's in the shower.
I think he might want to go to bed quite soon.
Oh, yeah.
No No sweat.
I'm just trying to get a sense of the character, you know? It's not a biopic or whatever.
It's not actually about me.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Let's definitely grab something to eat tomorrow.
Yes.
Yeah.
- I'll bring Em.
- Do it.
Erm I don't have your number.
- Oh, get, erm - Buddy.
Buddy's got it.
Get it from Buddy, yeah? Oh, it's been so nice hanging out.
Let's definitely get some - food tomorrow, yeah? - Yeah.
OK.
Take care.
Shall we go? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Erm Mum? Hello? - Em! - Hey.
Come in.
I've got to talk to you.
I've got to talk to you, too.
Is everything OK? - Shall I go first? - Yeah, course.
Doll, I'm so sorry if I've been really distracted recently.
I I had such a good time writing with you.
When it was just us at the beginning, it was just so awesome.
Erm Yeah, I got that job.
- I was offered Space Pilgrim.
- Oh.
- Are you going to do it? - And, erm, I just don't really know how I'm going to do Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm going to do it.
- Oh, that's so exciting.
I know.
It's so exciting.
Yeah, no, I mean Yeah.
I've been thinking about things quite a lot, too, cos I think that, erm we're both just at really different points in our lives, you know, and I think that's totally cool, but I think that your life is a bit more fixed, you know, with your mortgages and your houses and your school fees, and, erm, you know, I'm on a journey.
Well, I'm really happy to hear that.
I was worried that you were having a hard time in New York.
Oh, God.
No, no, no.
I thought I liked LA.
I love New York.
I mean, we're all just sort of immigrants here.
Yeah, I know.
I'm one, too.
Yeah.
It's a bit different with you.
But, you know, it's been very interesting just watching you, day to day, with your family and your life.
Oh, help.
That sounds miserable.
No.
I mean, you know, you've got to make choices.
You know, your family comes first and then if the right film comes along, for the right money, that makes it worth going away, you take it.
You're a strategist.
You know, I really respect that.
Doll, have you got nits? No.
Now, I think this is all really exciting, you know, just being able to question life, just to hold a mirror up to nature and think about it all.
I mean, I know that you've got qualms about all of this, but this is ours, isn't it? It just feels like it's been mainly my life that's had the mirror held up to it.
That's - Or - I mean, I've been really watching, you know, Evan and Olivia, and they are so free just to pursue their dreams with no apology.
I'd like to be like that.
Mum? I think it's the American way.
Em, you know what? I just feel really ready, like I can take the reins now.
I mean, you've been an invaluable partner, but your work here's done.
I think it's my play now.
Mum?! Wait, what? No, no.
Go to them.
They need you.
We'll talk about it in the morning.
Night.
I'm thirsty.
I mean, I never see you any more! You have no time for me or the kids! Well, of course we're spending more time together because whenever I'm at home you make me feel like a slob! What is it with you two?! What am I not giving you? You know what? I'm going to change that line.
In fact, I think we should go in a completely different direction with the scene, actually, because although, yes, Lilly is feeling incredibly betrayed at the moment and she's being made to feel like shit I think it's more by Grace slash Peter than it is by Max at the moment.
- Really? - Yeah, I do.
- Hmm.
- OK.
I mean, it just seems like that's kind of a big part of the play for Max.
I mean, there's a lot of tension in this marriage.
They probably haven't slept together in weeks, and I mean, let's face it, all Lilly really wants right now is to be hurled up against a wall and ravaged.
Yeah, no, I hear you totally.
Erm Er I think, despite that, I think she's, erm, she's feeling, in a way, more preoccupied, at the moment, by the fact that Grace slash Peter is making her feel incredibly pedestrian and like she's really kind of blinkered by her family and her mortgage and her career, - and, erm - Yeah, but I think that Grace feels very hurt at this point because Grace has travelled across the world to be with Lilly and Lilly seems just to have forgotten about her.
I don't think she's forgotten it so much as she feels oppressed by it.
It's like a third child turning up on your doorstep - and you don't know how to deal with it.
- But Grace was willing to take the reins and step up, and Lilly's not allowing her to.
Don't you think it would be so cool if all that tension were coming from Max? No, but Max and Lilly are married.
They're in it together.
Are they? Yeah, and Lilly and Grace have been best friends their whole life, so that would be stronger than a marriage.
No, that's you and me, Doll.
We've been best friends our whole lives.
Trust me, guys.
I think it's going to be really funny.
OK, then.
Just try it like that, then.
Well, of course I'm spending more time with Peter because when I'm at home you make me feel like a slob! Uh-hm.
I'm really sorry, Lilly.
You're a beautiful woman and a wonderful mother and I'm so lucky to have you.
Something like that? I mean, it's crazy cool! I can't get over it! Doll, look at this! - Just trying to focus.
- Here, blow on that.
Whoo! I'm having second thoughts about the film.
Oh, shit.
Really? I mean, if you think about it, it's like a big iPhone charger.
Oh, God! That I don't know where Where'd you get that from?! - I got off with him.
- What? In the loo.
What, you just went into the loo and immediately started snogging? - Pretty much! - Dolly! You got off with Ewan McGregor last night in a toilet?! Original script by MemoryOnSmells