DuckTales (2017) s02e03 Episode Script
The Ballad of Duke Baloney!
1 Where are you going? You're my shadow, you hear? Curse you, me! [STRUGGLING.]
[GASPING.]
Hey, Fisher, get a load of this.
Huh.
That's the fourth weirdest thing we've caught today.
Get your fish hands off me, ya filthy fisherman! Whoa, whoa, whoa! "Fisherperson.
" I mean, your name is Mann, Mann.
Yeah, well, He don't know I'm a fisher, Fisher.
I've never seen this joker before in my life.
Enough! Don't ya know who I am? No.
Who are you? I I don't know! Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! Four months after the mysterious disappearance of its CEO, Glomgold Industries is finally under new, not crazy management.
She's dynamic.
She's exciting.
She's never threatened revenge on anyone.
She's Zan Owlson.
Um, hi, everyone.
Happy to [NEWSCASTER.]
Top of Her Class at Mouseton School of Business, Owlson founded the global charity "Change For Chicks.
" She's a formidable replacement for failed former leader Flintheart Glomgold.
We cut unnecessary departments like Harebrained Schemes, Mindless Revenge.
The company was spending a lot of money on sharks.
Owlson is even forming a new charity along with the company's chief rival, McDuck Enterprises.
It's time this company put people above profits.
Here at the new Glomgold Industries, our community is the greatest treasure of all.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
Ah, fishing.
The noble struggle of man versus nature The you gently rowing me around for several hours while I nap The jumping and throwing of pointy sticks! Hyah! [EXCLAIMING.]
Ew, gross! Can't you just use these? Sure.
But no rusty fishhook is complete without [GLOMGOLD.]
Bait! Get your bait here! [EXCLAIMS.]
[TOGETHER.]
Aah! Glomgold! Hello, children.
Bait for sale.
Buy seven tentacles, the eighth is free.
Buckets of savings.
Uh, Glomgold? [EXCLAIMS.]
What's with the South African accent? Why is your posture so good? What's on your face? Eh, just a bushy beard forged from a life on the sea.
What's your angle, Glomgold? What'd say there about the Glomthere what? You kids disrespectin' our new employee? 'Cause Bait 'n' Such is a bully-free zone.
I was just introducing myself.
The name's Duke Baloney.
Like the humble sandwich meat.
More like Mr.
Full of Baloney.
- Excuse us for one second, Mr.
Baloney.
- "Full of Baloney.
" It's an old-timey expression.
You know, it means I get it, but this is no time for hilarious, hilarious jokes.
Glomgold's been missing for months, then bam! - He's back as a completely different person.
- [EXCLAIMING.]
He's clearly dealing with some kind of amnesia.
We gotta help him.
Please.
Faking amnesia is like Con Man 101.
This is obviously some kind of setup to trap us and destroy Uncle Scrooge.
Once a bad guy, always a bad guy.
Hey.
[EXCLAIMS.]
Oh, you.
[SHOUTS.]
Maybe this bad guy is transforming into a good guy.
[GASPS.]
Like a reverse werewolf! For the last time, there are no reverse werewolves.
I'm telling you, that's Glomgold! How can you be so sure it's him? [SHOUTING.]
Curse you, rope! It's him.
[SIGHS.]
[GAGS.]
Sorry for yellin'.
Never acted like that before.
That I know of.
Heh.
This guy! Found 'em in the bay with no memories.
Just his determination and a freakishly high tolerance for pain.
[KNUCKLES CRACKING.]
It's like he was made for livin' a hard knock-life on the open water.
All I need to know is that I came from the sea, and I'll die by it.
His life is like a haiku.
Yeah.
It's vague garbage that structurally makes no sense.
He's obviously lying.
That's Glomgold, and I'll prove it.
Hey, Baloney Sandwich, you know who you gotta meet? Our uncle.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
He's very rich, very Scottish, no beard, but easily the best billionaire of all time: Scrooge McDuck! Don't hit me.
He sounds nice.
Duke, are you sure the name Glomgold doesn't sound familiar? Wait.
You think strappin', noble Duke, legend of the docks, is that withered, gross old husk of a man? Hey, Duke, now that you're a billionaire, you gonna buy a round of Pep for everyone here? - Sure.
Why not? - Duke! Duke! - Duke! Duke! - Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke! What? I want a free Pep.
Duke! Duke! Duke! Wait.
Huh? Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke! Why would a simple fishmonger have a money clip like that? I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
There's no finer life than A life lived at sea - Catchin' up every fish - [SHIP'S HORN BLOWS.]
Oh, it looks like the McDuck Enterprises fishing boat is back.
Welcome home.
Best fishing boat on the sea.
You mean second best.
Because we're obviously the best fishing boat on the sea.
Aw, you're sweet.
Sure, we have a scrappy, working-class charm, but But nothing.
You guys are great.
We have to be the best.
Nothing wrong with coming in second.
You know I heard that first is the worst and second is the best.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know why, but I hate that boat.
[MANN.]
Come on, Duke.
Sea shanties don't sing themselves! Coming.
[SEETHES.]
Ah, nothin' like an honest day's work For an honest day's pay See? Not a scheme in sight.
Glomgold actually has amnesia and is now obviously just a simple fishmonger.
That's what you said when he was a "humble delivery man" and an "unassuming pastry chef.
" Give it time.
He'll slip up.
[GRUNTS.]
Hmm.
[GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
[HIGH VOICE.]
Howdy, fellas! Come jump out of the water and hang out with me! [EXHALES.]
Duke, what are you doing? Hey fellas! And ladies! Now I'll catch twice as many fish! Huh.
I don't know what this proves.
[CHUCKLING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
Boat meeting! Whoa.
Duke, you okay? Ugh.
You look like you didn't sleep much.
Who needs sleep when you've devised the perfect scheme? Behold! My ingenious plan to catch more fish than the McDuck boat! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[FORCED LAUGH.]
I don't get the joke.
We start here, with a simple shrimp cook-off.
Or so it seems.
I knew it! Someone's Glomgold is showing.
He's clearly struggling with repressed memories.
We gotta help him.
That's exactly what he wants us to do, and then surprise, we're trapped inside a volcano full of shark bombs.
Glomgold might do that, but not our Duke.
And that's how we strap the bombs to the sharks.
Now After getting our engineering degrees from a local community college, we program the previously brainwashed robotic fish from step 17A to surround McDuck's boat and insult them.
While their egos are shattered, we search for what I assume is a giant plug on the floor of the bay, drain the bay, then collect all the fish for ourselves! Hey Duke, this is some real nice cardboard art, but if we overfish, there won't be any left for the community.
Because we'll have all the fish! But it's like you always say, "Sharing is caring.
" That does sound like me.
Or does it? - Besides, storm's a-brewin'.
- [THUNDER RUMBLES.]
No one should be fishing anyway.
That's why the fish will never see it coming! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Uh, just kidding? [LAUGHS.]
Ah, what a joker, this Duke.
Duke of the jokes is more like it, huh? [HORN SOUNDS.]
This isn't over, boat.
He said he was just kidding.
He doesn't remember being Glomgold.
Every con says that when they're busted.
I say it all the time! Ugh, what are you up to, Glomgold? - There's only one way to find out! - Oh, don't say it.
- To research! - [EXCLAIMING.]
Okay, here's all the information we have.
If only there was a visual way to organize it all.
You built a board, I'm guessing? I built a board! We've got Duke, Glomgold, the money clip, - and a whole lot of question marks.
- That's it? I couldn't find any record of Duke Baloney anywhere.
There's also no record of Flintheart Glomgold before he arrived in Duckburg in the 1980s.
[LOUIE.]
Nationality: "The Most Scottish"? Ugh.
We spent hours trying to figure out who Duke Baloney is, and now we don't even know who Glomgold is? There's got to be somebody who can help us.
Who's dealt with Glomgold more than anyone? [BOTH GASP.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
[BAGPIPES BLOWING NOTES.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Stay back.
I'm in charge now.
The ship's boiler is out.
You must go below deck to light it.
[HORN SOUNDS.]
Ship's boiler is out.
Who's there? Stop! [PANTING.]
- [SHOUTING.]
- [QUACKING.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [HORN SOUNDS.]
- [GASPS.]
[HORN SOUNDS.]
[GASPING.]
A heart-shaped flint? Ship's boiler is out.
[GASPS, SCREAMS.]
This gold is glomming on to me! [GASPS, EXCLAIMS.]
[PANTING.]
Just a dream.
Eh, those never mean anything.
Good mornin', sunshine.
We got ya something.
"Mann-Fisher-Duke.
" Now it's official.
You're part of the family.
[SNIFFLES.]
No big deal.
Now we'll be the Dukes of Fisher-Mann.
Ah, geez, that woulda been a way better sign.
Wow.
This is the nicest thing anyone has even done for me, I think.
- Oh, nothing could ruin this day.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
I'm looking for Duke Baloney.
Remember Uncle Scrooge, you just need to figure out what's wrong with Glomgold.
I know.
I'm not the one with amnesia.
- [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
- [LOUIE.]
I wish we knew what they were saying.
Good thing I can read lips.
[WEBBY IMITATING SCROOGE.]
Foist me bagpipes! Hey, was Webby totally right and you have amnesia? She sure was.
Curse me kilt! That bright young lass is full of promise! You said it.
Boy, I wish she was my housekeeper's granddaughter.
[LOUIE.]
Oh, no! They're going to Hug? What is going on? That's Glomgold, all right.
And he does indeed have amnesia.
Ha! Told ya! So, should we help him? - No.
- Ha! I told you! Because he's still fundamentally a bad guy, right? - No.
- I'm sorry, come again? In all my years of volleying with that vexatious villain, I've never seen Flinty happier or more at peace.
Let him be Duke Baloney.
- It's for his own good.
- But he might have a brain injury.
Flintheart Glomgold blows himself up on a daily basis.
A simple brain injury is actually a step up.
Let this one be, kids.
I'm off to unveil my new charity with Zan Owlson, "Dimes for Ducklings.
" Hopefully I can talk her down to "Pennies for Pipsqueaks" instead.
- Huh.
- So, should we, uh, go fishing now or, uh Oh, right.
The thing we were gonna do before this whole thing.
[TOGETHER.]
To fishing! Don't know who I used to be, but I know who I am Duke Baloney.
It's time for Glomgold to Glom-go! Aah! I said, Glom-go! [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Aah! Kids! Storm's a-coming! I'll save you, or my name isn't [GROANS.]
Ah.
Good-smelling papaya here.
Shoeshine! Shoeshine! Get your shoeshine here! [GRUNTS.]
[SCROOGE.]
Can you handle a pair of spats? Never met a shoe I couldn't shine.
So, what brings you to South Africa? Let's just say a certain savvy Scotsman got the Rain Queen of Balobedu to make the Sahara Desert a little less dry.
Just another day at the office for Scrooge McDuck.
[SPITS.]
Must be a big deal if you're referring to yourself in third person.
You know, Duke Baloney is kind of a big deal too.
He's got tons of plans to make himself the richest duck in the world! First, I'll take my shine money and buy a coal mine.
Then I stomp on the coal so hard, it turns to diamonds! Wouldn't that hurt your feet? No, sir.
I'm too stubborn to know when I'm hurt! Anyway, I'll build a massive drill with a diamond bit to drill for gold and become rich! W-Why don't you just cash in the diamonds? Then what would I use for the drill? [CHUCKLES.]
Good luck, lad.
A dime? Shoeshine's a dollar.
Spats are extra.
Plus tip! I was trying to teach you a lesson in self-reliance.
It's how I became the richest duck in the world.
You're the richest duck in the world, and you only gave me a dime? It's a symbolic gesture to teach you to work for your fortune, which is better than your half-cocked schemes.
Are you mocking me? How dare ya? You think you're so rich and so-o-o-o Scottish! I regret trying to help.
Oh, you'll regret it, all right.
Missing something, McDuck? [LAUGHS.]
My schemes are half-cocked, eh? Well, how's this for full-cocked? First, I'll use your own money to create a superior Scottish persona.
[MALE VOICE.]
Please pass the haggis.
Don't tell me what to do! Finally, I'll dedicate the rest of my life to besting Scrooge McDuck! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
You'll rue the day you crossed - [CHANTING.]
Duke! Duke! Duke! - Duke's gonna save those kids! [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
- Whoa! - I hate fishing! Help! Save us! [GASPS.]
- [EXCLAIMS.]
- Give me your hand! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah.
Hyah! - [GASPING.]
- [GASPS.]
Ha! I can catch more fish, even in the middle of a storm! Take that, McDuck Boat, which I'm just now realizing was a metaphor for my hatred of Scrooge McDuck! Why would you do that? Because I'm Flintheart Glomgold, and I always will be! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Was that in his pocket the whole time? [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
Did you just steal from children? That's not my Duke Baloney.
[GROANS.]
More like Phony Baloney, if you ask me.
- [CROWD BOOING.]
- [FEMALE.]
You stink! I left Duke Baloney behind in South Africa.
Long live Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! It's just that dimes are pretty pricey.
You sure we can't go with "Nickels for Newborns"? Mr.
McDuck, we've been over this.
Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! Ha! You thought you had me, Scrooge, huh? Pretending to be a boat in my dreams? Nice try! Goodbye, Duke Baloney.
Hello, Flinty.
Mr.
Glomgold, I'm Zan Owlson, currently the acting CEO of Glomgold Industries.
- It's an honor to - Save it, Owl.
Scrooge was hoping everyone would forget Flintheart Glomgold.
But I'm unforgettable! You literally forgot yourself! And you were happy.
I'm only happy when you're unhappy! Should I call security, or? It's best to just let him yell.
I will not be forgotten again! I propose a wager You versus me.
Whoever is the richest duck by the by the end of the year, wins.
Come now, Flinty, why would I ever agree to some ridiculous wager? Oh, I can think of a reason.
[GASPS.]
Where did you get that? Oh, this? I've had it since I pilfered it from you as a wee child! That was you?! I beat you before, and I can do it again.
Unless you're afraid of being second best.
I'll never come in second to a vainglorious grifter like you.
Then prove it.
Winner gets the loser's company and becomes the richest duck in the world - forever! - You're on! I'm just gonna go ahead and sign the charity paperwork for the both of you.
Pleasure doing business.
Scrooge! Glomgold's back! He's Already here.
Feels like we missed something important.
[GASPING.]
Hey, Fisher, get a load of this.
Huh.
That's the fourth weirdest thing we've caught today.
Get your fish hands off me, ya filthy fisherman! Whoa, whoa, whoa! "Fisherperson.
" I mean, your name is Mann, Mann.
Yeah, well, He don't know I'm a fisher, Fisher.
I've never seen this joker before in my life.
Enough! Don't ya know who I am? No.
Who are you? I I don't know! Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! Four months after the mysterious disappearance of its CEO, Glomgold Industries is finally under new, not crazy management.
She's dynamic.
She's exciting.
She's never threatened revenge on anyone.
She's Zan Owlson.
Um, hi, everyone.
Happy to [NEWSCASTER.]
Top of Her Class at Mouseton School of Business, Owlson founded the global charity "Change For Chicks.
" She's a formidable replacement for failed former leader Flintheart Glomgold.
We cut unnecessary departments like Harebrained Schemes, Mindless Revenge.
The company was spending a lot of money on sharks.
Owlson is even forming a new charity along with the company's chief rival, McDuck Enterprises.
It's time this company put people above profits.
Here at the new Glomgold Industries, our community is the greatest treasure of all.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
Ah, fishing.
The noble struggle of man versus nature The you gently rowing me around for several hours while I nap The jumping and throwing of pointy sticks! Hyah! [EXCLAIMING.]
Ew, gross! Can't you just use these? Sure.
But no rusty fishhook is complete without [GLOMGOLD.]
Bait! Get your bait here! [EXCLAIMS.]
[TOGETHER.]
Aah! Glomgold! Hello, children.
Bait for sale.
Buy seven tentacles, the eighth is free.
Buckets of savings.
Uh, Glomgold? [EXCLAIMS.]
What's with the South African accent? Why is your posture so good? What's on your face? Eh, just a bushy beard forged from a life on the sea.
What's your angle, Glomgold? What'd say there about the Glomthere what? You kids disrespectin' our new employee? 'Cause Bait 'n' Such is a bully-free zone.
I was just introducing myself.
The name's Duke Baloney.
Like the humble sandwich meat.
More like Mr.
Full of Baloney.
- Excuse us for one second, Mr.
Baloney.
- "Full of Baloney.
" It's an old-timey expression.
You know, it means I get it, but this is no time for hilarious, hilarious jokes.
Glomgold's been missing for months, then bam! - He's back as a completely different person.
- [EXCLAIMING.]
He's clearly dealing with some kind of amnesia.
We gotta help him.
Please.
Faking amnesia is like Con Man 101.
This is obviously some kind of setup to trap us and destroy Uncle Scrooge.
Once a bad guy, always a bad guy.
Hey.
[EXCLAIMS.]
Oh, you.
[SHOUTS.]
Maybe this bad guy is transforming into a good guy.
[GASPS.]
Like a reverse werewolf! For the last time, there are no reverse werewolves.
I'm telling you, that's Glomgold! How can you be so sure it's him? [SHOUTING.]
Curse you, rope! It's him.
[SIGHS.]
[GAGS.]
Sorry for yellin'.
Never acted like that before.
That I know of.
Heh.
This guy! Found 'em in the bay with no memories.
Just his determination and a freakishly high tolerance for pain.
[KNUCKLES CRACKING.]
It's like he was made for livin' a hard knock-life on the open water.
All I need to know is that I came from the sea, and I'll die by it.
His life is like a haiku.
Yeah.
It's vague garbage that structurally makes no sense.
He's obviously lying.
That's Glomgold, and I'll prove it.
Hey, Baloney Sandwich, you know who you gotta meet? Our uncle.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
He's very rich, very Scottish, no beard, but easily the best billionaire of all time: Scrooge McDuck! Don't hit me.
He sounds nice.
Duke, are you sure the name Glomgold doesn't sound familiar? Wait.
You think strappin', noble Duke, legend of the docks, is that withered, gross old husk of a man? Hey, Duke, now that you're a billionaire, you gonna buy a round of Pep for everyone here? - Sure.
Why not? - Duke! Duke! - Duke! Duke! - Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke! What? I want a free Pep.
Duke! Duke! Duke! Wait.
Huh? Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke! Why would a simple fishmonger have a money clip like that? I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
There's no finer life than A life lived at sea - Catchin' up every fish - [SHIP'S HORN BLOWS.]
Oh, it looks like the McDuck Enterprises fishing boat is back.
Welcome home.
Best fishing boat on the sea.
You mean second best.
Because we're obviously the best fishing boat on the sea.
Aw, you're sweet.
Sure, we have a scrappy, working-class charm, but But nothing.
You guys are great.
We have to be the best.
Nothing wrong with coming in second.
You know I heard that first is the worst and second is the best.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know why, but I hate that boat.
[MANN.]
Come on, Duke.
Sea shanties don't sing themselves! Coming.
[SEETHES.]
Ah, nothin' like an honest day's work For an honest day's pay See? Not a scheme in sight.
Glomgold actually has amnesia and is now obviously just a simple fishmonger.
That's what you said when he was a "humble delivery man" and an "unassuming pastry chef.
" Give it time.
He'll slip up.
[GRUNTS.]
Hmm.
[GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
[HIGH VOICE.]
Howdy, fellas! Come jump out of the water and hang out with me! [EXHALES.]
Duke, what are you doing? Hey fellas! And ladies! Now I'll catch twice as many fish! Huh.
I don't know what this proves.
[CHUCKLING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
Boat meeting! Whoa.
Duke, you okay? Ugh.
You look like you didn't sleep much.
Who needs sleep when you've devised the perfect scheme? Behold! My ingenious plan to catch more fish than the McDuck boat! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[FORCED LAUGH.]
I don't get the joke.
We start here, with a simple shrimp cook-off.
Or so it seems.
I knew it! Someone's Glomgold is showing.
He's clearly struggling with repressed memories.
We gotta help him.
That's exactly what he wants us to do, and then surprise, we're trapped inside a volcano full of shark bombs.
Glomgold might do that, but not our Duke.
And that's how we strap the bombs to the sharks.
Now After getting our engineering degrees from a local community college, we program the previously brainwashed robotic fish from step 17A to surround McDuck's boat and insult them.
While their egos are shattered, we search for what I assume is a giant plug on the floor of the bay, drain the bay, then collect all the fish for ourselves! Hey Duke, this is some real nice cardboard art, but if we overfish, there won't be any left for the community.
Because we'll have all the fish! But it's like you always say, "Sharing is caring.
" That does sound like me.
Or does it? - Besides, storm's a-brewin'.
- [THUNDER RUMBLES.]
No one should be fishing anyway.
That's why the fish will never see it coming! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Uh, just kidding? [LAUGHS.]
Ah, what a joker, this Duke.
Duke of the jokes is more like it, huh? [HORN SOUNDS.]
This isn't over, boat.
He said he was just kidding.
He doesn't remember being Glomgold.
Every con says that when they're busted.
I say it all the time! Ugh, what are you up to, Glomgold? - There's only one way to find out! - Oh, don't say it.
- To research! - [EXCLAIMING.]
Okay, here's all the information we have.
If only there was a visual way to organize it all.
You built a board, I'm guessing? I built a board! We've got Duke, Glomgold, the money clip, - and a whole lot of question marks.
- That's it? I couldn't find any record of Duke Baloney anywhere.
There's also no record of Flintheart Glomgold before he arrived in Duckburg in the 1980s.
[LOUIE.]
Nationality: "The Most Scottish"? Ugh.
We spent hours trying to figure out who Duke Baloney is, and now we don't even know who Glomgold is? There's got to be somebody who can help us.
Who's dealt with Glomgold more than anyone? [BOTH GASP.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
[BAGPIPES BLOWING NOTES.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Stay back.
I'm in charge now.
The ship's boiler is out.
You must go below deck to light it.
[HORN SOUNDS.]
Ship's boiler is out.
Who's there? Stop! [PANTING.]
- [SHOUTING.]
- [QUACKING.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [HORN SOUNDS.]
- [GASPS.]
[HORN SOUNDS.]
[GASPING.]
A heart-shaped flint? Ship's boiler is out.
[GASPS, SCREAMS.]
This gold is glomming on to me! [GASPS, EXCLAIMS.]
[PANTING.]
Just a dream.
Eh, those never mean anything.
Good mornin', sunshine.
We got ya something.
"Mann-Fisher-Duke.
" Now it's official.
You're part of the family.
[SNIFFLES.]
No big deal.
Now we'll be the Dukes of Fisher-Mann.
Ah, geez, that woulda been a way better sign.
Wow.
This is the nicest thing anyone has even done for me, I think.
- Oh, nothing could ruin this day.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
I'm looking for Duke Baloney.
Remember Uncle Scrooge, you just need to figure out what's wrong with Glomgold.
I know.
I'm not the one with amnesia.
- [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
- [LOUIE.]
I wish we knew what they were saying.
Good thing I can read lips.
[WEBBY IMITATING SCROOGE.]
Foist me bagpipes! Hey, was Webby totally right and you have amnesia? She sure was.
Curse me kilt! That bright young lass is full of promise! You said it.
Boy, I wish she was my housekeeper's granddaughter.
[LOUIE.]
Oh, no! They're going to Hug? What is going on? That's Glomgold, all right.
And he does indeed have amnesia.
Ha! Told ya! So, should we help him? - No.
- Ha! I told you! Because he's still fundamentally a bad guy, right? - No.
- I'm sorry, come again? In all my years of volleying with that vexatious villain, I've never seen Flinty happier or more at peace.
Let him be Duke Baloney.
- It's for his own good.
- But he might have a brain injury.
Flintheart Glomgold blows himself up on a daily basis.
A simple brain injury is actually a step up.
Let this one be, kids.
I'm off to unveil my new charity with Zan Owlson, "Dimes for Ducklings.
" Hopefully I can talk her down to "Pennies for Pipsqueaks" instead.
- Huh.
- So, should we, uh, go fishing now or, uh Oh, right.
The thing we were gonna do before this whole thing.
[TOGETHER.]
To fishing! Don't know who I used to be, but I know who I am Duke Baloney.
It's time for Glomgold to Glom-go! Aah! I said, Glom-go! [THUNDER CRASHES.]
Aah! Kids! Storm's a-coming! I'll save you, or my name isn't [GROANS.]
Ah.
Good-smelling papaya here.
Shoeshine! Shoeshine! Get your shoeshine here! [GRUNTS.]
[SCROOGE.]
Can you handle a pair of spats? Never met a shoe I couldn't shine.
So, what brings you to South Africa? Let's just say a certain savvy Scotsman got the Rain Queen of Balobedu to make the Sahara Desert a little less dry.
Just another day at the office for Scrooge McDuck.
[SPITS.]
Must be a big deal if you're referring to yourself in third person.
You know, Duke Baloney is kind of a big deal too.
He's got tons of plans to make himself the richest duck in the world! First, I'll take my shine money and buy a coal mine.
Then I stomp on the coal so hard, it turns to diamonds! Wouldn't that hurt your feet? No, sir.
I'm too stubborn to know when I'm hurt! Anyway, I'll build a massive drill with a diamond bit to drill for gold and become rich! W-Why don't you just cash in the diamonds? Then what would I use for the drill? [CHUCKLES.]
Good luck, lad.
A dime? Shoeshine's a dollar.
Spats are extra.
Plus tip! I was trying to teach you a lesson in self-reliance.
It's how I became the richest duck in the world.
You're the richest duck in the world, and you only gave me a dime? It's a symbolic gesture to teach you to work for your fortune, which is better than your half-cocked schemes.
Are you mocking me? How dare ya? You think you're so rich and so-o-o-o Scottish! I regret trying to help.
Oh, you'll regret it, all right.
Missing something, McDuck? [LAUGHS.]
My schemes are half-cocked, eh? Well, how's this for full-cocked? First, I'll use your own money to create a superior Scottish persona.
[MALE VOICE.]
Please pass the haggis.
Don't tell me what to do! Finally, I'll dedicate the rest of my life to besting Scrooge McDuck! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
You'll rue the day you crossed - [CHANTING.]
Duke! Duke! Duke! - Duke's gonna save those kids! [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
- Whoa! - I hate fishing! Help! Save us! [GASPS.]
- [EXCLAIMS.]
- Give me your hand! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah.
Hyah! - [GASPING.]
- [GASPS.]
Ha! I can catch more fish, even in the middle of a storm! Take that, McDuck Boat, which I'm just now realizing was a metaphor for my hatred of Scrooge McDuck! Why would you do that? Because I'm Flintheart Glomgold, and I always will be! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Was that in his pocket the whole time? [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
Did you just steal from children? That's not my Duke Baloney.
[GROANS.]
More like Phony Baloney, if you ask me.
- [CROWD BOOING.]
- [FEMALE.]
You stink! I left Duke Baloney behind in South Africa.
Long live Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! It's just that dimes are pretty pricey.
You sure we can't go with "Nickels for Newborns"? Mr.
McDuck, we've been over this.
Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! Glomgold! Ha! You thought you had me, Scrooge, huh? Pretending to be a boat in my dreams? Nice try! Goodbye, Duke Baloney.
Hello, Flinty.
Mr.
Glomgold, I'm Zan Owlson, currently the acting CEO of Glomgold Industries.
- It's an honor to - Save it, Owl.
Scrooge was hoping everyone would forget Flintheart Glomgold.
But I'm unforgettable! You literally forgot yourself! And you were happy.
I'm only happy when you're unhappy! Should I call security, or? It's best to just let him yell.
I will not be forgotten again! I propose a wager You versus me.
Whoever is the richest duck by the by the end of the year, wins.
Come now, Flinty, why would I ever agree to some ridiculous wager? Oh, I can think of a reason.
[GASPS.]
Where did you get that? Oh, this? I've had it since I pilfered it from you as a wee child! That was you?! I beat you before, and I can do it again.
Unless you're afraid of being second best.
I'll never come in second to a vainglorious grifter like you.
Then prove it.
Winner gets the loser's company and becomes the richest duck in the world - forever! - You're on! I'm just gonna go ahead and sign the charity paperwork for the both of you.
Pleasure doing business.
Scrooge! Glomgold's back! He's Already here.
Feels like we missed something important.