Future Man (2017) s02e03 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Future Man" Get the fuck back to the future and do not come back for me no matter what.
I guess we should say something.
Though his worldly body was incinerated, I take comfort in knowing that is has become one with the elements.
Except for his cock.
That was once a cause of great shame.
I will wear it with pride.
He's got two GS-39 hand cannon wounds.
That's no stray.
That's Torque.
- Weasel.
- Who you calling "Weasel"? - It's your name.
- My name is Wrench.
And there's no outsiders allowed in the NAG.
It's Tiger.
I'm with Wolf.
That's Torque.
I see eye flutter.
There he is.
Welcome back, Torque.
Your hair looks insane.
I want to hear that story.
Torque, can you hear me? Are you with us? Tiger.
Where's Tiger? He's talking about this tiger again.
He's delirious.
Don't worry.
The tiger can't get you anymore.
Oh, I have to go find her.
- Whoa, whoa, no-no-no.
- Ow! Don't even think about it.
We're gonna take good care of you.
Who are you people? Where the hell am I? You're home.
- You made it home.
- In the sewer? Huh.
He thinks we live in the sewer.
Well, the way you people treat this house, I don't blame him.
We've been out of the sewer for 20 years.
We live in the NAG now.
The New Above Ground.
It's paradise.
Oh, no.
He's got the sand brain.
Don't you remember anything? Were you kidnapped by the Sno-Mads? Forced into the Fighting Pits of Goleta? Don't be absurd, Lathe.
Those scars could only be from a Bio-Tech NecroHangar.
They swear they shut those down after the armistice.
I'm burning with rage.
Do you at least remember how you escaped? Uh.
I was a prisoner of the Biotics? Correct.
The Bio-Techs.
Bio-Techs.
How long was I gone? Two years.
We thought you were dead.
But you came back to us.
I'm in a different reality.
Can you remember anything? Anything at all? Only that they tortured me pretty good.
Oh, Torque.
Needles, drugs, a white powder they forced up my nose.
It made me lose my mind, and be excessively chatty.
After a year, I I almost forgot who I was.
They took me to the Viper Room.
Oh, the noise alone.
The shredding.
- The face-melting.
- Oh All at the hands of my tormentor, Slash.
- Oh.
- "Slash"? So, uh, did we win? The war against the Biotic B Bio-Techs? - We didn't lose.
- We survived.
4% of us.
You don't remember any of this? There's a truce.
The Bio-Tech robot emperor prophesized the end of the world.
They think life on Earth is about to end because of you ready for this? Man-made climate change.
It is pretty hot out there.
Uh, humans have been around since the time of the dinosaurs.
I think we can handle a little hot weather.
They're building these crazy space-wagons to go live on a sky sparkle.
Those only exist for, like, 12 hours a day, dummies.
Hey, hey! No laughter! Everyone knows that's the worst medicine.
Good, the doctor's here.
This is healing quite nicely.
I am a little worried about infection though.
But this should help.
Needs a little more.
Don't squirm, otherwise the medicine won't take.
What is it? This particular combo is Lady Fern, Blood Flower, and tongue sweat.
Medicine don't come much more powerful than that.
Let the doctor work.
She knows what she's doing.
Does she? You know what? Rest is the last thing you need.
We need to force movement, get the blood flowing to those wounds while they're still open.
Let's go.
Get him up, get him up! - I really don't want to move.
- Get him up! Get him up.
- Ow! - Up we go.
- We got you.
- Come on, big guy.
Don't worry.
Here we go.
That's the sound of healing.
Ah.
Does any of this look familiar? This is our, uh Cluster home.
Yeah, right.
Cluster.
Okay, okay.
So Oh, shit.
Okay, so as you know, memory's a little scattered because of the well, the torture and the being held a prisoner and all those things that definitely happened, so, I'm just gonna come out and ask.
Which one of you cats am I married to? Wow.
What did I say? Who did I offend? It's all of us, Torque.
You're married to all of us.
Papa's back! Uh, oh.
For the love of Festivus, please tell us you remember our daughter? Uh We don't know what kind of sorcery the Bio-Techs are up to over there.
They could have perfected the art of the face-lift.
Impossible.
We would see the scars.
That's Torque.
Can I be the voice of reason here? - Of course, Level.
- Time.
When I was captured by the Hill People of Calabasas and forced to watch my previous cluster eaten alive, the only thing that brought me back to my old self was time.
Now look at me.
I'm thriving.
Torque doesn't have half your fortitude, Level.
If we give him time, he'll just worm his way into our lives and drown us in a flood of lies.
You did these? Mama Thimble says I can be an artist when I grow up, as long as I don't have to be a provider.
Which one's Thimble? That one.
Mama Teacher.
Huh.
Well, don't listen to her.
You know, my buddy Bobby Mapplethorpe told me I had the best eye he'd ever seen.
This shit is fucking good.
Was Bobby Mapplethorpe someone you met while you were away? Yeah.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, he was.
Shit.
The hell are these pictures back here? That's you.
That's what I imagined you were doing while you were gone.
Now that you're back, I don't have to use my imagination anymore.
Look, don't put your imagination on ice just yet, okay? You know, being an artist can be useful in other ways.
- Like how? - Well.
You know, I'm kind of having a hard time remembering the NAG.
So how about you draw me a map? Just to help me remember things.
Yeah, I can do that, Papa Torque.
All right.
And, hey.
Don't forget all the gates and entrances and exits.
You know, fun stuff like that.
Knock yourself out, squirt.
Look at this guy! Leaves must be working.
Always do.
I got this.
Thanks.
Whoa, what what you doing, buddy? I'm gonna make myself some grub.
This enormo-bean has potential.
Uh, it's an All-Bean and let let me do that for you.
Oh, I'm pretty good in the kitchen.
Uh, it's kind of my job here, kind of what I do, exclusively.
Yeah, why don't we go find a seat? Meh.
So what? Everyone here has a a role or something? Yeah.
So I'm Mama Teacher.
- Thimble.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- I am Thimble.
Let me guess, uh, you're our cooking dad? Lathe.
And housekeeper.
And anything else that goes undone around here.
Eh.
Hatchet over there, he's our resident hard-ass.
Disciplinarian.
And don't talk with your mouth full.
Goes for all of you.
It's gross.
And you're the schedule nerd, just making sure all the rest of these yahoos are where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be there.
You get me, Torque.
You always have.
Hey, Torque.
Do me.
You just seem like a big ole bag of fun.
Just hanging out, not doing a whole lot of anything.
We all really try to do our job and our job only.
Even though some jobs are harder and larger and you never get breaks.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
Of course I would.
My job is 50 times harder than anything you people do.
Could you at least lick the bowl clean before you put it back on the shelf? Okay.
What's my deal? - You're our provider.
- You make wheels.
Pretty average wheels.
Huh.
I'm a wheel-maker.
Do you know what these are? Uh, well, yeah, I do, but I'm kind of afraid to say.
The chits, Torque.
The chits.
They're how we pay for things around here.
And as you can see, the chitty kitty's nearly empty.
Huh.
We're gonna need you to go back to work.
But only when you're up to it.
You mean, up to it like this? Oh, hey.
Look.
I'm ready to go back now.
Oh, I can't wait to go back to that, - um - Wheel shop? Yes, Thimble.
Yes.
My beloved wheel shop.
Oh Yee! Where do you think you're going without a good-bye kiss? Please, don't get eaten.
Oh, God.
I've been quintuple-rat-holed.
Not so fast.
I'm taking Lugnut to school.
- We can drop you at the shop.
- Oh, nah.
With a recovery like that, who knows, maybe, you'll be ready for The Sowing.
That's right.
Sure would be nice to have you back, if you're up to it.
Yeah-yeah, sure, I'm fine.
Ready to sow.
Yes! Oh wait up.
So what's the deal? We live in a quarry? Away from the Bio-Techs' prying eyes.
Half now and half when we deliver it to your cluster.
Folks, step right up.
Do all the kids around here have six parents? Seems fucking bananas.
You should come to school with me, Papa Torque.
That'll help your memory.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Why don't you just tell me about it? For many years, we could not have children.
But life is a powerful force.
Slowly we started having them again.
They are our most precious resource.
So the cluster system was born.
Six parents to every child.
It started with seven, but you can imagine the complications that brought with it.
Yeah.
Seven.
We were so naive.
- Torque? - Anteater? Rivet.
It's me, Rivet.
You're a farmer now.
You always dreamed about being a farmer.
- I did? - Yeah.
I'm so very happy to see you alive.
Watching that Cy-noceros gore you with its mecha-horn You weren't the only one gutted that day.
Yeah, uh, okay.
Sorry about your brain.
Ah, that cat-fucker knew how to handle a flamethrower.
It's just too bad Cy-nos can't be burned.
What's a flamethrower? And a cat-fucker? Emu? Toad? Tiger's not gonna believe this Do you remember this, Papa Torque? Let me stop you right there, little lady.
Papa Torque doesn't remember jack shit.
No, come look.
Come look.
You'll remember.
I promise.
Oh.
Oh, this me? Every day.
Seven years of your life.
Oh.
You'll come back.
You'll come back.
- Later.
- Okay.
Torque! Um, I I can explain No thanks.
Two-for-one deal! That's a two-for-one deal! Give me a hand here.
Best at the market, right here! Right here, best of market! Buckets of piss! Torque! You're up.
Weasel! Oh, come here! It's so good to see your face again.
Especially on your body.
What what's going on here? Oh, just saying hi to an old friend.
This is the most we've ever spoken.
Torque, you were Soul Voucher at my Cluster Bundling.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, dude.
Yeah, I got the sand brain, yeah.
Just trying to piece together what happened.
Yeah.
I remember being aided by a statuesque, purple-haired warrior.
Huh.
Oh, yeah.
You mean the Chope that kicked the shit out of Wrench? You never could fight, you silly son of a bitch.
You don't know him.
You're you're my friend.
Oh, well.
So, what's a Chope? You really are out of it, man.
Chosen People? Bio-Techs? The bastards who got the cure? Oh, no.
No, Tiger's no Chope.
Turned tail and scattered as soon as we got out of the 'shrooms for the Bio-Tech test.
That usually means one thing.
Oh, I'm sorry, first, she kicked your ass and stole your cloak.
Oh, she does like a good cloak.
All right, fellas, uh, good talk, good talk.
I'm just gonna pop outside, as per doctor's orders, gotta stretch these wounds, you know Whoa.
What, is there some law against going outside? Matter of fact, there is.
Thanks to you and that lavender Chope, snuck past our patrols.
Now the NAG's on lockdown.
Whoa.
Come on, guys.
You know.
It's Torque.
You Whoa.
Oh, but, I was Seal Vendor at your Cluster fiddling.
Do you hear yourself? You sound ridiculous.
You shifty little slunt.
Shake-shakey.
Shake, shake, shake.
Hey.
The fuck is this? - That's Colonel Worm.
- What's his deal? It's a story you used to tell me about the worm who wasn't afraid of the crows, even though they were different.
He would sneak away from all the other worms and have adventures.
He fell in love with Captain Crow.
They were gonna team up and battle the robot army.
Yeah-yeah-yeah.
About the sneaking out.
Is it through this tunnel here? Yeah.
It was a secret tunnel.
He needed a magic feather to find the entrance.
- The fuck? - Here.
Oh.
Looks like ole Colonel Worm racked up some frequent flyer miles.
You're not getting better, are you? Pump rules! Hey, boss! Oh.
You're you're here.
Um, I uh, I straightened up.
Your your tools are all where you like them.
I know, I, uh, put the Settle down.
Settle down.
I've got amnesia.
- What's your name? - Pump.
I'm I'm Pump, your humble apprentice.
You don't remember me.
Nope.
Do I like you? Well, we - That's a no.
- Okay.
So what was it like with those Chopes, huh? You murder any when you escaped? Son, I've killed enough Chopes to last my lifetime and yours.
That's the best thing I've ever heard.
The fuck is this thing? Oh, that's an awl.
It's one of your wheel-making tools.
Oh.
Nice.
So, uh, - Pump? - Yeah.
Where's the tunnel out of this place? Oh, no.
No, no, not this again.
Isn't this what got you in trouble the last time? All this sneaking around? Please, don't don't make me cover for you again.
You my apprentice? Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Tell me where the tunnel is.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay, it's, um, it's 50 chits to the blind baker and you can escape through the OBG.
Old Below Ground? Okay.
Great.
Where are the chits? Oh, you got to be shitting me.
We don't got any chits? What have you been doing while I was gone? I don't know how to make wheels.
Oh, damn.
Oh.
I was a bad master.
That's on me.
Listen.
If you're gonna learn anything from me, boy, it's gonna be personal responsibility.
All right, 50 chits.
No problem.
Now let's make some goddamn wheels.
The winter is here Again, oh Lord Haven't been home in a year or more Ooh I've been running Down this dusty road Push! Harder! Push! Push, Pump! Pump! Pump! Where I'll be tomorrow - Wheel in the sky - Yes.
Yes! For tomorrow All right, let's see if this eagle flies.
Ah! Looks like we're on a roll! Wait, what? What did what did you just say? You know that had, like, another meaning, right? Yeah, that's why I said it.
So, uh, what's a bad boy like this go for? What do you mean? Well, how much do we charge for a beaut like this? One chit.
Everything in the NAG is one chit.
Son of a bitch.
Once word gets out that Torque's wheel shop is back in business, we'll be rolling in chit.
Well, this is me.
Where you going? What's happening over there? Very funny.
- I'm still un-clustered.
- So? So it's Sowing Night.
I'm on MD.
Muffle duty.
Wow.
You really do got the sand brain.
Anyway.
Have fun tonight.
Yeah, you too.
Hey, Pump.
You did good today.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Don't let it go to your head.
It's already in my head.
Just I'll see you tomorrow.
We got 49 more wheels to make.
All right.
Okay, young ones, circle up! Bring it down! Two six All right! Someone's so excited to sow that he came home early.
That's the spirit.
Okay, let's take it slow tonight since it's Torque's first time back in the rotation.
Oh, he'll do just fine.
He's a natural.
Okay, but just to play it safe, let's keep him in the four-slot.
Easy on the mouth play, light frottage, no anal, until after the first wheelbarrow, then it's all anal, just pound it in there until we shoot the bucket.
Let's try to keep a come radius of about 3.
2.
This is our sex night? Harvest moon and we're communo-ovulating.
No better time to make a baby.
Time to put your mightiest tool to work, big fella.
It's what we've all been waiting for.
Tick-tock.
Show us your penis.
Look at it! Look at it! Oh! What did I say? I told you that wasn't Torque! And look, now we have proof! That's right.
I'm not Torque.
I'm not the man who left here two years ago.
That man is dead! Probably.
I have no idea.
Don't look away! Stare at it! Face it! How is this possible? Yes.
My journey has taken me across space and time and dimensions of human suffering none of you could ever imagine.
I've fought monsters.
And I've become one.
But I did it to create a better world for all of you.
I just never expected to live in it.
Now I walk these streets a stranger, knowing everyone and no one.
This is no flood of lies.
This is me, me, drowning in my own truth.
I don't belong in this world anymore than this dick belongs on my body, which is not at all.
My name is Wolf.
Resistance soldier 667-dash-259.
How dare you not tell us that from the beginning? I was so mean to you, so distrustful, only because I was scared, and I love you, and I don't want to lose you again.
Two years of torture.
Even the strongest of us would go mad.
How could you be the same? We accept you, Wolf, Torque, whatever you choose to call yourself.
Sand-brained, battle-scarred, altered.
We accept it all.
Enough talk.
Let's find this tiny dick a hole.
Ooh! Tonight's the night our parents sow They plant their seeds to help us grow And if the plants rise long and tall We will have more friends next fall Put your shovel - In the hole - Oh, God! Dig with heart and dig with soul Lest the seed spill too fast Think of grandma make it last Pass the bucket down the train - Do it! Oh, yes! - Fuck yeah! Now we're in a sowing chain Squirt, squirt do a swirl What will grow, a boy or girl? Yes! Yes! Yes! Are you leaving again, Papa Torque? This will help you find the tunnel.
Oh.
Oh, no, no.
Uh, no, sweetie.
I was just going out to check on something.
But it can wait.
Let's get you back to bed.
Tonight's the night our parents sow They plant their seeds to help us grow And if the plants rise long and tall We will have more friends next fall Put the shovel in the hole Dig with heart and dig with soul Squirt, squirt do a swirl What will a grow, a boy or girl?