Halt and Catch Fire (2014) s02e03 Episode Script
The Way In
1 The girls are ready.
You fell asleep on your transcripts.
Must've made for some creepy dreams.
- Hey, it's market research.
- Uh-huh.
You know why your network's on the fritz freeloaders, ghosts.
We know how many subscribers we have.
Legit ones.
Meanwhile, the cheats gobble up your bandwidth.
- Uh-huh.
- But what if someone were to write a program to find all your users and map the actual size of your network? I call it "Sonaris.
" Listen to this"Your understanding of U.
S.
-Soviet relations is as shortsighted as a lemur with cataracts.
" They call it a "flame war.
" Donna, you realize I'm doing this for you, you know? - Yeah, I know.
- Could you at And you must really be enjoying it because I haven't seen you for two weeks.
Okay, well, will you take a look, okay? I'm almost done.
- But tell me something.
- What? Who's your Superman? - Oh.
- Mm.
- Huh, Lois? - Oh.
- Lois Lane.
- Oh, Clark.
Wanna pretend we're in a phone booth? - Oh, God.
- Mm.
Just don't let Joanie forget her juice.
Wait.
I'll wear the cape! Hey, glasses on.
You like it with the glasses.
Ow.
Puny earthling.
Hey.
- Is your car in the shop? - Yep.
Nice wheels.
- Does it have a horn? - Must've left it at home with my clown nose.
Aw.
You got you got her back.
Well, Ginny got the house, - feds got everything else.
- Oh, but not this.
Whoo, God.
Can't thank you enough, Barry.
- You and Louise - Glad to.
holding on to this, putting me up, keeping the jackals at bay.
And you put food on my table for, what, 20 years? Anything I can do to repay you? You can get in that tank and drive it like a man.
All right.
There you go.
Yeah! Yeah.
- Settling in? - I am.
- Thanks, Eugene.
- Fine, that's just fine.
I've got some ideas, though.
We double-check all these documents for scanning errors.
- Yes, sir.
- And sometimes I'll notice a correlation between a well's perforation level and its drainage rate and I'll make a note of it here.
And if we all took those notes, we could harvest them into spreadsheets, - maybe find some - Data processing - Yeah? is on B1.
This is data entry.
That mainframe in there? Our job is to fill it up.
Shovel sand, not count the grains.
- And that doesn't bother you? - No.
Listen, I-I know staring at 60 years of well depths ain't exactly hair-raising.
That's why it helps to have a pastime.
We're doing a decoy decorating contest.
Drakes or hens, your choice.
I myself I collect vintage percussion.
This weekend, I was fortunate to obtain a timbale favored by the great Tito Puente.
Do you want some coffee? Giant hands keep reaching and grabbing for your tasty Jell-O chunks.
But you dodge them up, down, shelf to shelf.
Soon the fridge is empty.
Only you, the Jell-O bowl, have survived.
I call it "Jiggles.
" Cool, uh, questions, anyone? Uh, what flavor the Jell-O? Orange, obviously.
- "Jiggles" sounds like a strip joint.
- Well, it's not.
Am I the only one that's rooting for the hands? You know, 'cause the family's hungry and you're available.
I feel like it's your job to be eaten, you know? Unless you're rancid, moldy, like three weeks old.
Yeah, and then you could call it, like, "Jell-O Death Wish" or something.
Your mission poison the family.
- Kill 'em all.
- Totally.
My Jell-O is not rancid.
Okay, let's just let it breathe for a second.
Thanks, Lev.
Uh, Tom.
Ideas? Yeah, I'm working on sprite scaling for immersive environments.
Okay, does it have a story? - Does it need one? - Uh, yeah, it helps.
Online gaming is different from arcade or cartridge.
You're trying to draw the players into a world, - not just hustle them for quarters, - Tom: Are you joking? Tons of titles have started with tech breakthroughs.
"Xevious," "Zaxxon" Okay, let's just talk about it in private, yeah? - This something new? - Yeah, Parallax, chapter 22.
Hot off the presses, so let's take a couple days to play with it, then we will debug and load it onto the network.
- Sound good? - Yeah.
- Sound good? - Yes.
Whoo-hoo.
You're late.
Oh, what, I make all your other boyfriends hang fire? They can wait.
- Hello? - Hey.
- You're early.
- My scanner can't tell the difference between lower case "l's and "L's.
Do you know what every other word is? - Oil.
- Oil? Me, I've spent the past hour looking out the window.
At least you have one.
- Was moving here a mistake? - Uh, probably.
Oh, great.
I'm gonna go pack tonight.
Sara, it was a joke.
We can't go back to Austin.
- Your father would flip.
- No, I I know, I know.
And, look, I love my dad, but screw him, you know? Oh, God, I can't believe I'm whining.
I hate when I get like this.
Let's have dinner.
A dinner party with other people.
Evan and Alicia will drive up for a free meal, right? You could invite your friends from Dallas.
- Unless that makes you uncomfortable.
- No, that Um, that sounds like fun.
Let me get back to you.
Is that a personal call? Love you.
Is Jacob Wheeler in? Joe MacMillan.
Yes, I'd like to make an appointment.
4:00? Absolutely, that works for me.
I'll see you then.
Give people a dial-up, they'll talk about anything politics, sports, Kathy Ireland, Billy Joel sucks.
Hey, Billy has chops.
I started a discussion on Moog synthesizers.
It got 23 replies.
Can I borrow a coder? We need to split Community into multiple forums.
- It's exploding.
- Yes, okay.
Take Lev, please, Jesus.
- Hey, how many online? - 306.
- What? - Yeah.
That's up, what, 50, week to week? It's gonna be a bloodbath in Tank Battle.
Well, that's the beautiful thing about our business model even the corpses pay to play.
- That PBX patch is holding.
- So we're above water.
Well, we're just not drowning so fast.
I picked up a new long-haul route.
- Oh, you did? - Mm-hmm.
Where's the layover? - Tokyo.
- Ah, me "wrikey.
" Tokyo.
It's gonna put a serious hitch in these little hanky-panks.
- I'll just stop by the house.
- I wouldn't.
Well, what's this about, then? This is why I married you in the first place.
The man in 25B.
Going dark on me? It's okay.
- Well, I paid for that house.
- And now it's mine.
And I can do what I want with whom I want.
I understand that.
I just don't want to feel that there's a broom at my heels.
The world didn't stop when you went to prison.
You ashamed of me, Ginny? Not anymore.
All right, well, I'll see you this weekend, then.
I hope you're joking.
- I just don't think the time's right.
- Well, hold on, now.
Is that why you showed up today? To convince me not to go to Galveston? Honestly, I didn't think I'd have to.
We're not your satellites anymore, spinning around the big man.
It was a fun ride, real hot show, but this one's not yours.
Please don't come, John.
Promise you won't.
Let me know.
Love to Nancy and the kids.
All right.
Some people don't want to be saved.
You know the most common last-second regret of suicides? People who jump off bridges but live? - High school girlfriends.
- Faucet left on.
Car running.
Fridge open.
Just loose ends.
Okay, let me have it.
You're leaking data.
Data that can be used to increase yields, predict profits, reduce risk.
I suggest folding data collection and analytics into a single department - Sure, do it.
- I'm not done.
I am.
Who's in charge down there? - Uh, Eugene Bowdich.
- Fire him.
Scrap the whole department.
Build your own.
It's the best way.
I'll let HR know.
I never thought you'd stay on the basement level, but if that's your goal - I just need a few days to prepare.
- Take 'em.
Joe seat opens up on a crowded train.
It's okay to hesitate.
Maybe you're the next stop.
Maybe you're a good Samaritan.
Or maybe you think you don't deserve it.
- So, that's it.
-00.
Hope you guys can make it.
Talk soon.
Okay, I just need to listen to it one more time.
Mm-hmm.
I'd love it if you could come by for a little dinner party with me and my fiancée.
- Fiancée? - Am I hallucinating? Okay, you first.
Okay, I'm picturing a perfume model.
- Dior no, no, no, Halston.
- Hmm.
- Tall, blonde.
- Well, duh.
Daryl Hannah cheekbones, shoulder pads, Upper East Side.
No, no, no, no, no.
After Cameron, he'd want a follower.
You know, someone less challenging.
- Really? - Yeah.
Worked for me.
I'm going with a secretary, Joan Baez type.
You know, kittens on the futon.
I guess we'll find out.
What, dinner? With him? Well, yeah.
Oh, come on.
Aren't you curious? Mysteriously, my interest in tall, dark mannequins with delusions of grandeur has dwindled, but, hey, knock yourself out.
- Snob.
- Sucker.
Hey, Gordon and Donna.
It's Joe.
Joe MacMillan.
That's it, taste the pain.
Now, kneel.
Kneel before Zod.
- Hey, babysitter's here.
- Ah.
- Girls are building a fort.
- Oh, you twisted little mother - Excuse me? - Yes, dear I mean, yes, honey.
Damn it.
One of your freeloaders just wasted me.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go shower.
I want us accidentally late on purpose.
Can't we bag? I think I feel a cold coming on.
Gordon, this was your idea.
Well, how about the two of us just go out? You know, Chaparral Club, the Torch, you know? We'll tell Rose to stay the night, maybe rent a room downtown.
I would love to, that sounds great, but we told them we're coming.
Wheels up in 20.
"They can be a great people, Kal-El; they wish to be.
" They only lack the program to show them the way.
Sonaris.
Plays good for me.
- Me, too.
- Thanks.
- I like the vampire fish ladies.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, the sea nymphs.
I ran out of land-based creatures, so I Tom, did you play the game? Yeah.
And? Let's talk about it in private, okay? Uh, no, we all have a voice here.
What did you think? Okay.
It took me about an hour and a half.
- That's pretty fast.
- Because it's a rehash.
You stole the layout from chapter nine and the puzzles from 14, you put them in a blender and hoped no one would notice.
- No, I - And of course if you get stuck, the hairy lampshade comes swooping in - and literally drops clues - What? It's a fez.
on your head like dandruff.
You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to take that thing by the pubes and then fly outta there.
To some other game.
To someplace new.
This this shouldn't be updated, it should be destroyed.
So so stick that in your box.
I Oh, hey.
Wow, you guys look great.
- Uh, here you go.
- Thanks.
- It's I should've clarified about - Oh, come on.
- I wear this every day.
- Yay, finally.
I've heard a lot about you guys.
I'm Sara.
Hey.
- Joe, don't leave them in the hall.
- Oh, sorry, come on in.
Big galoot.
I love that word.
It comes from the Dutch.
It means either galley slave or pirate or pimp.
But if I'm lucky, all three, right? - You guys want a drink? - Oh, yes, please.
- Yeah, ahem.
- Um, gin and tonic.
Hold the tonic.
- Mom.
- Oh.
I'm so proud of you, I'm gonna cry.
So I told 'em, "You got two choices either pump the MSRP or cover our tooling overages.
" Of course, there were no tooling overages.
You son of a bitch, I taught you that move.
Yeah, create the sickness, sell 'em the cure.
- It still works.
- Hell, yeah.
- It got me a promotion this week.
- Mm, congratulations.
So, this is cozy.
Yeah, we got a bigger place in Austin.
This is just a pied-a-terre for my auteur.
Yeah, I'm trying to finish this article.
Well, actually, I'm trying to start it.
- Oh, uh, about what? - The Jarvik artificial heart.
- Oh, so, um, nothing serious.
- Well, yeah.
My friend Alicia's doing the layout.
She's a professor of design.
They should've been here an hour ago.
Probably stuck outside Waco trying to fix a flat tire with a metaphor.
- Gotta love academics.
- Lovely people, total flakes.
Joe, do you mind helping me for a second? Yeah.
- Who are you right now? - What do you mean? Don't you dare apologize for my friends, for our friends, for this apartment, or for me.
And if you're done dick measuring for the evening, then you might want to mention the real reason you got the promotion.
The truth.
Do you remember that? And the apricots are really good, too.
Little heavy on the blue cheese, but - All right, where were we? - Mm, academia.
Right, you say that like, uh, like it's a nut you're allergic to.
You know what, Sara? I like you.
And I'm gonna give you a really good piece of advice.
Don't let him hold out on you.
Come on, Joe.
What are you saving all that Cardiff money for? Hmm? Mutual funds? Houseboat on Lake Travis? I didn't get anything from Cardiff.
Not a penny.
Pass the red? - Huh? Okay.
- Like right now.
- Damn it! - It's a computer game, okay? Calm down.
I'm sure it's nothing.
Let me just check the root file.
Bad software hit our network.
- It's overwriting our data.
- Our drives or the users? - Both.
- It just ate chess.
- What? - Hey, we need to quarantine - all the unaffected machines.
- No! - Anyone connected right now - No! is vulnerable.
- Well, we have users online.
- We're not we're staying up.
- It's starting on Parallax.
- Christ, this thing is fast.
- There goes chapter two.
- Can somebody call Donna? - We couldn't find her number.
- What? - It's on a Post-it somewhere.
Jesus.
And I think that it'll be fine Hi, can I speak to Donna? What? Where? It's Cameron.
Did she leave a number? Listen to me! I need to speak to Donna right away! Hello? Hello? Hello? Shut it down.
The whole network? Everything, shut it all down.
- Maybe you changed him.
- No, he's nothing like my ex.
Thought you were strictly a beer guy.
I had this bottle of "San-seer" at the mission last summer.
- It kind of rocked my world.
- Sancerre.
Sans-who-gives-a-shit.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm, that's good.
It makes it all worthwhile, right? Oh, yeah.
She's burning at both ends.
Every morning, I peel her off the couch, tuck her in.
My turn, I guess.
Anyhow, you traded up.
- It's good to see you're doing so well.
- You, too.
Why didn't you tell me you got screwed by Cardiff? - Well, I thought I could live with it.
- Well, I'd have gone to him for you.
I mean, I wouldn't have split my share or anything, but, you know, I would've spoken up.
I report every morning to a basement.
I come home to an apartment that's smaller than my old bathroom.
And yet, if you offered me this version of my life or your payout, whatever it was How much was it? - 838,100.
- I'd choose this.
I'd choose her.
- Honey? - Yeah? Hey, I'm sorry.
Uh, Rose says Mutiny's trying to reach me, and I called and their phone lines are all tied up.
- I think we should head over there.
- Well, Donna, is it serious? No, it's probably just a riot, a massive fire, or a Goobers overdose.
Joe, thank you for a lovely evening.
Well it was good to see you.
- Sorry we have to cut it short.
- It's okay.
Enjoy the Sancerre.
Sara, thanks for having us.
Oh, my God, I thought that would never end.
What is he doing with her? And vice versa, what do you think? - She's got some sort of savior complex? - I don't know.
She seems impressive to me.
Yeah, well, I'm sure her father's name opens all kinds of doors.
Yeah, Joe's happy.
Minor miracle.
Yeah, of course he is.
He's got her completely snowed.
Well, you look lovely tonight.
Hey, uh, thank you, Pop.
Now everyone knows you're out here.
How are you, James? Couldn't have picked up a phone when you got out? No, I wanted to say this in person.
Oh, geez, here we go.
Look, the rehearsal dinner's a damn milestone.
So sit back close your piehole.
"When his mother and I found James on the roof one Christmas waiting for Santa with a flashlight and a long list of questions, we knew that our boy wasn't afraid of a challenge.
And now we know Lisa isn't either.
" Ha-ha.
"Pause for laughter.
" - Oh, nice.
- Okay.
"When James got his first strikeout in Little League I was on a sales call.
When he graduated from high school, I was at a conference in Tampa.
I know there are times when it felt like his father was nothing but a head rub in the morning and a shadow in the door at night.
But not this night.
Not tonight.
" May I see it? I'd really like to show Lisa.
Look, I don't know what Mom told you, but I'm not angry at you.
I was, but I'm not.
I hear you got yourself a hell of a gal, huh? Aw, yeah.
Well, I'll have you over over some night, - you know, when I settle in.
- Sure thing.
All righty, well, wife's awaitin'.
It's gonna feel weird saying that.
- "My wife.
" - Well, it gets easier.
Why don't you come tomorrow? What, ex-con in the front pew? Oh, your mother'd combust, for God sake.
Well, Lisa wouldn't mind.
Neither would I.
Some other time.
All right.
Take care of this old thing.
Every disk our subscribers load will be infected.
We're gonna have to do a clean reboot, tell our users to stay offline un until - We mail out new floppies? - Of everything.
Every game that we make, and reimburse them for ruining their other software.
Chances are they've suffered total data extinction, and they're gonna blame us.
God knows how many subscribers we've lost for good.
Oh, did you enjoy your finger food and cocktails? Cameron, what is this? What's going on? - A rogue program ate our drives.
- Nuked all our data.
Something called "Sonaris.
" - Oh, shit.
- You sent it? - I-I mean, I Before we left - Stop.
You wrote this? No, uh, I didn't know that he actually went ahead and sent it.
You didn't know? You're married to him.
- What is that supposed - We were trying to help you map your network.
Look, let me in there, maybe I can help.
- You want to help us? - I'm sorry, all right? You know, I'll buy you some new drives.
It's not the drives, asshole.
We lost games.
- We lost original work.
- No, no.
No, no, no.
He doesn't know what that is.
You wouldn't just stay away? You couldn't just leave us to do our thing? - Christ, get over yourself.
- I mean, which you hate because it's new and brave and because you're on the outside looking in, you sellout! - Hey.
- Watch your mouth.
Meanwhile, your wife is doing things that you couldn't even imagine.
- You want to bring her into this? - Okay.
Gordon.
- Who signs your lease? - Gordon! Who pays your water and electric behind your back, you know? Donna's the whole reason you haven't been condemned! Bet you didn't know that, did you? Or you or you or you, Little Miss Girl Genius.
- You call this a company? - Honey This is more like "Nightmare on Nerd Street"! - Hey, honey.
- What? Would you go home? - Donna.
- Just go home, please.
Sir.
That's not your car.
We've got two XTs up and running, but, uh, games are still down.
Community, too.
We'll have to do a complete reinstall from backups.
Do you want me to apologize again? This hurts me, too.
We're partners.
Please.
This is your job, Donna, but it's my life.
I live here, which means I'm always gonna catch the shit that has to be dealt with right now while you're at home making popsicles - and walking the dog - We don't have a dog.
or letting an outside party liquefy our business I'm here.
Why didn't you tell me you were having dinner with Joe MacMillan? Well, I was pretty sure you'd hold it against me.
Ding, give the lady a prize.
- It was just dinner.
- Go home to your husband.
Oh, and, Donna.
If you ever put another dime of your own money into Mutiny again behind my back, you're fired.
- You want a ride? - No, thanks.
What can I do? - Hey, uh, Cameron? - Huh? Oh, just give me a second.
Whoa, whoa, hey.
Okay, Cameron, just breathe, okay? - I am breathing.
- Okay, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come here, come here, come here, come here.
Sit down.
Just nod or shake your head, okay? Should I call a doctor? Okay, are you on any medication? Squeeze, squeeze.
Harder, harder, good.
Parallax.
Chapter three, level seven.
The cave of the four wizards.
- How do you Focus.
- What? How do you get the dragon's egg across the chasm? - What? - 'Cause if you jump, you're gonna drop it, right? And and there's a rope bridge.
But with the egg, you're too heavy.
- So, Cameron, what do you do? - I don't know.
- Go back.
- That's right, that's right.
You go back.
You go back.
You turn around, you go back inside, and you face the fourth wizard.
Right? And then only by cracking the egg in his chest - can you make him human again.
- Okay.
That's what I'm gonna miss about Parallax.
Those early chapters.
How every trap had a reward, every exit was actually an entrance.
You know, the whole thing made me feel like "The Wizard of Oz.
" But it was better because you were really like like inside the movie, you know? Running through those balloons, running through those poppy fields? It was like it was real.
- I'm gonna let go, okay? - Yeah.
I'm gonna get you some water.
Don't go anywhere, okay? How bad is it? It's bad.
I should've tested it more.
I just I got excited or I don't know.
I should have told you.
No.
No, I let it happen.
I didn't stop you.
What exactly was the issue? Oh, sorry.
Well, that's what I'm trying to find out.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
Morning.
Boy, that's funny.
Yeah.
Meet me in the mainframe room.
- I'm almost done.
- Now.
These machines - they work the same shift as us.
- Yep, 9:00 to 5:00.
Why? Millions of dollars of hardware sitting unused for 16 hours a day.
- What's this about? - A way in.
- What? - Never mind.
Back to work, then? Yes, sir.
You fell asleep on your transcripts.
Must've made for some creepy dreams.
- Hey, it's market research.
- Uh-huh.
You know why your network's on the fritz freeloaders, ghosts.
We know how many subscribers we have.
Legit ones.
Meanwhile, the cheats gobble up your bandwidth.
- Uh-huh.
- But what if someone were to write a program to find all your users and map the actual size of your network? I call it "Sonaris.
" Listen to this"Your understanding of U.
S.
-Soviet relations is as shortsighted as a lemur with cataracts.
" They call it a "flame war.
" Donna, you realize I'm doing this for you, you know? - Yeah, I know.
- Could you at And you must really be enjoying it because I haven't seen you for two weeks.
Okay, well, will you take a look, okay? I'm almost done.
- But tell me something.
- What? Who's your Superman? - Oh.
- Mm.
- Huh, Lois? - Oh.
- Lois Lane.
- Oh, Clark.
Wanna pretend we're in a phone booth? - Oh, God.
- Mm.
Just don't let Joanie forget her juice.
Wait.
I'll wear the cape! Hey, glasses on.
You like it with the glasses.
Ow.
Puny earthling.
Hey.
- Is your car in the shop? - Yep.
Nice wheels.
- Does it have a horn? - Must've left it at home with my clown nose.
Aw.
You got you got her back.
Well, Ginny got the house, - feds got everything else.
- Oh, but not this.
Whoo, God.
Can't thank you enough, Barry.
- You and Louise - Glad to.
holding on to this, putting me up, keeping the jackals at bay.
And you put food on my table for, what, 20 years? Anything I can do to repay you? You can get in that tank and drive it like a man.
All right.
There you go.
Yeah! Yeah.
- Settling in? - I am.
- Thanks, Eugene.
- Fine, that's just fine.
I've got some ideas, though.
We double-check all these documents for scanning errors.
- Yes, sir.
- And sometimes I'll notice a correlation between a well's perforation level and its drainage rate and I'll make a note of it here.
And if we all took those notes, we could harvest them into spreadsheets, - maybe find some - Data processing - Yeah? is on B1.
This is data entry.
That mainframe in there? Our job is to fill it up.
Shovel sand, not count the grains.
- And that doesn't bother you? - No.
Listen, I-I know staring at 60 years of well depths ain't exactly hair-raising.
That's why it helps to have a pastime.
We're doing a decoy decorating contest.
Drakes or hens, your choice.
I myself I collect vintage percussion.
This weekend, I was fortunate to obtain a timbale favored by the great Tito Puente.
Do you want some coffee? Giant hands keep reaching and grabbing for your tasty Jell-O chunks.
But you dodge them up, down, shelf to shelf.
Soon the fridge is empty.
Only you, the Jell-O bowl, have survived.
I call it "Jiggles.
" Cool, uh, questions, anyone? Uh, what flavor the Jell-O? Orange, obviously.
- "Jiggles" sounds like a strip joint.
- Well, it's not.
Am I the only one that's rooting for the hands? You know, 'cause the family's hungry and you're available.
I feel like it's your job to be eaten, you know? Unless you're rancid, moldy, like three weeks old.
Yeah, and then you could call it, like, "Jell-O Death Wish" or something.
Your mission poison the family.
- Kill 'em all.
- Totally.
My Jell-O is not rancid.
Okay, let's just let it breathe for a second.
Thanks, Lev.
Uh, Tom.
Ideas? Yeah, I'm working on sprite scaling for immersive environments.
Okay, does it have a story? - Does it need one? - Uh, yeah, it helps.
Online gaming is different from arcade or cartridge.
You're trying to draw the players into a world, - not just hustle them for quarters, - Tom: Are you joking? Tons of titles have started with tech breakthroughs.
"Xevious," "Zaxxon" Okay, let's just talk about it in private, yeah? - This something new? - Yeah, Parallax, chapter 22.
Hot off the presses, so let's take a couple days to play with it, then we will debug and load it onto the network.
- Sound good? - Yeah.
- Sound good? - Yes.
Whoo-hoo.
You're late.
Oh, what, I make all your other boyfriends hang fire? They can wait.
- Hello? - Hey.
- You're early.
- My scanner can't tell the difference between lower case "l's and "L's.
Do you know what every other word is? - Oil.
- Oil? Me, I've spent the past hour looking out the window.
At least you have one.
- Was moving here a mistake? - Uh, probably.
Oh, great.
I'm gonna go pack tonight.
Sara, it was a joke.
We can't go back to Austin.
- Your father would flip.
- No, I I know, I know.
And, look, I love my dad, but screw him, you know? Oh, God, I can't believe I'm whining.
I hate when I get like this.
Let's have dinner.
A dinner party with other people.
Evan and Alicia will drive up for a free meal, right? You could invite your friends from Dallas.
- Unless that makes you uncomfortable.
- No, that Um, that sounds like fun.
Let me get back to you.
Is that a personal call? Love you.
Is Jacob Wheeler in? Joe MacMillan.
Yes, I'd like to make an appointment.
4:00? Absolutely, that works for me.
I'll see you then.
Give people a dial-up, they'll talk about anything politics, sports, Kathy Ireland, Billy Joel sucks.
Hey, Billy has chops.
I started a discussion on Moog synthesizers.
It got 23 replies.
Can I borrow a coder? We need to split Community into multiple forums.
- It's exploding.
- Yes, okay.
Take Lev, please, Jesus.
- Hey, how many online? - 306.
- What? - Yeah.
That's up, what, 50, week to week? It's gonna be a bloodbath in Tank Battle.
Well, that's the beautiful thing about our business model even the corpses pay to play.
- That PBX patch is holding.
- So we're above water.
Well, we're just not drowning so fast.
I picked up a new long-haul route.
- Oh, you did? - Mm-hmm.
Where's the layover? - Tokyo.
- Ah, me "wrikey.
" Tokyo.
It's gonna put a serious hitch in these little hanky-panks.
- I'll just stop by the house.
- I wouldn't.
Well, what's this about, then? This is why I married you in the first place.
The man in 25B.
Going dark on me? It's okay.
- Well, I paid for that house.
- And now it's mine.
And I can do what I want with whom I want.
I understand that.
I just don't want to feel that there's a broom at my heels.
The world didn't stop when you went to prison.
You ashamed of me, Ginny? Not anymore.
All right, well, I'll see you this weekend, then.
I hope you're joking.
- I just don't think the time's right.
- Well, hold on, now.
Is that why you showed up today? To convince me not to go to Galveston? Honestly, I didn't think I'd have to.
We're not your satellites anymore, spinning around the big man.
It was a fun ride, real hot show, but this one's not yours.
Please don't come, John.
Promise you won't.
Let me know.
Love to Nancy and the kids.
All right.
Some people don't want to be saved.
You know the most common last-second regret of suicides? People who jump off bridges but live? - High school girlfriends.
- Faucet left on.
Car running.
Fridge open.
Just loose ends.
Okay, let me have it.
You're leaking data.
Data that can be used to increase yields, predict profits, reduce risk.
I suggest folding data collection and analytics into a single department - Sure, do it.
- I'm not done.
I am.
Who's in charge down there? - Uh, Eugene Bowdich.
- Fire him.
Scrap the whole department.
Build your own.
It's the best way.
I'll let HR know.
I never thought you'd stay on the basement level, but if that's your goal - I just need a few days to prepare.
- Take 'em.
Joe seat opens up on a crowded train.
It's okay to hesitate.
Maybe you're the next stop.
Maybe you're a good Samaritan.
Or maybe you think you don't deserve it.
- So, that's it.
-00.
Hope you guys can make it.
Talk soon.
Okay, I just need to listen to it one more time.
Mm-hmm.
I'd love it if you could come by for a little dinner party with me and my fiancée.
- Fiancée? - Am I hallucinating? Okay, you first.
Okay, I'm picturing a perfume model.
- Dior no, no, no, Halston.
- Hmm.
- Tall, blonde.
- Well, duh.
Daryl Hannah cheekbones, shoulder pads, Upper East Side.
No, no, no, no, no.
After Cameron, he'd want a follower.
You know, someone less challenging.
- Really? - Yeah.
Worked for me.
I'm going with a secretary, Joan Baez type.
You know, kittens on the futon.
I guess we'll find out.
What, dinner? With him? Well, yeah.
Oh, come on.
Aren't you curious? Mysteriously, my interest in tall, dark mannequins with delusions of grandeur has dwindled, but, hey, knock yourself out.
- Snob.
- Sucker.
Hey, Gordon and Donna.
It's Joe.
Joe MacMillan.
That's it, taste the pain.
Now, kneel.
Kneel before Zod.
- Hey, babysitter's here.
- Ah.
- Girls are building a fort.
- Oh, you twisted little mother - Excuse me? - Yes, dear I mean, yes, honey.
Damn it.
One of your freeloaders just wasted me.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go shower.
I want us accidentally late on purpose.
Can't we bag? I think I feel a cold coming on.
Gordon, this was your idea.
Well, how about the two of us just go out? You know, Chaparral Club, the Torch, you know? We'll tell Rose to stay the night, maybe rent a room downtown.
I would love to, that sounds great, but we told them we're coming.
Wheels up in 20.
"They can be a great people, Kal-El; they wish to be.
" They only lack the program to show them the way.
Sonaris.
Plays good for me.
- Me, too.
- Thanks.
- I like the vampire fish ladies.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, the sea nymphs.
I ran out of land-based creatures, so I Tom, did you play the game? Yeah.
And? Let's talk about it in private, okay? Uh, no, we all have a voice here.
What did you think? Okay.
It took me about an hour and a half.
- That's pretty fast.
- Because it's a rehash.
You stole the layout from chapter nine and the puzzles from 14, you put them in a blender and hoped no one would notice.
- No, I - And of course if you get stuck, the hairy lampshade comes swooping in - and literally drops clues - What? It's a fez.
on your head like dandruff.
You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to take that thing by the pubes and then fly outta there.
To some other game.
To someplace new.
This this shouldn't be updated, it should be destroyed.
So so stick that in your box.
I Oh, hey.
Wow, you guys look great.
- Uh, here you go.
- Thanks.
- It's I should've clarified about - Oh, come on.
- I wear this every day.
- Yay, finally.
I've heard a lot about you guys.
I'm Sara.
Hey.
- Joe, don't leave them in the hall.
- Oh, sorry, come on in.
Big galoot.
I love that word.
It comes from the Dutch.
It means either galley slave or pirate or pimp.
But if I'm lucky, all three, right? - You guys want a drink? - Oh, yes, please.
- Yeah, ahem.
- Um, gin and tonic.
Hold the tonic.
- Mom.
- Oh.
I'm so proud of you, I'm gonna cry.
So I told 'em, "You got two choices either pump the MSRP or cover our tooling overages.
" Of course, there were no tooling overages.
You son of a bitch, I taught you that move.
Yeah, create the sickness, sell 'em the cure.
- It still works.
- Hell, yeah.
- It got me a promotion this week.
- Mm, congratulations.
So, this is cozy.
Yeah, we got a bigger place in Austin.
This is just a pied-a-terre for my auteur.
Yeah, I'm trying to finish this article.
Well, actually, I'm trying to start it.
- Oh, uh, about what? - The Jarvik artificial heart.
- Oh, so, um, nothing serious.
- Well, yeah.
My friend Alicia's doing the layout.
She's a professor of design.
They should've been here an hour ago.
Probably stuck outside Waco trying to fix a flat tire with a metaphor.
- Gotta love academics.
- Lovely people, total flakes.
Joe, do you mind helping me for a second? Yeah.
- Who are you right now? - What do you mean? Don't you dare apologize for my friends, for our friends, for this apartment, or for me.
And if you're done dick measuring for the evening, then you might want to mention the real reason you got the promotion.
The truth.
Do you remember that? And the apricots are really good, too.
Little heavy on the blue cheese, but - All right, where were we? - Mm, academia.
Right, you say that like, uh, like it's a nut you're allergic to.
You know what, Sara? I like you.
And I'm gonna give you a really good piece of advice.
Don't let him hold out on you.
Come on, Joe.
What are you saving all that Cardiff money for? Hmm? Mutual funds? Houseboat on Lake Travis? I didn't get anything from Cardiff.
Not a penny.
Pass the red? - Huh? Okay.
- Like right now.
- Damn it! - It's a computer game, okay? Calm down.
I'm sure it's nothing.
Let me just check the root file.
Bad software hit our network.
- It's overwriting our data.
- Our drives or the users? - Both.
- It just ate chess.
- What? - Hey, we need to quarantine - all the unaffected machines.
- No! - Anyone connected right now - No! is vulnerable.
- Well, we have users online.
- We're not we're staying up.
- It's starting on Parallax.
- Christ, this thing is fast.
- There goes chapter two.
- Can somebody call Donna? - We couldn't find her number.
- What? - It's on a Post-it somewhere.
Jesus.
And I think that it'll be fine Hi, can I speak to Donna? What? Where? It's Cameron.
Did she leave a number? Listen to me! I need to speak to Donna right away! Hello? Hello? Hello? Shut it down.
The whole network? Everything, shut it all down.
- Maybe you changed him.
- No, he's nothing like my ex.
Thought you were strictly a beer guy.
I had this bottle of "San-seer" at the mission last summer.
- It kind of rocked my world.
- Sancerre.
Sans-who-gives-a-shit.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm, that's good.
It makes it all worthwhile, right? Oh, yeah.
She's burning at both ends.
Every morning, I peel her off the couch, tuck her in.
My turn, I guess.
Anyhow, you traded up.
- It's good to see you're doing so well.
- You, too.
Why didn't you tell me you got screwed by Cardiff? - Well, I thought I could live with it.
- Well, I'd have gone to him for you.
I mean, I wouldn't have split my share or anything, but, you know, I would've spoken up.
I report every morning to a basement.
I come home to an apartment that's smaller than my old bathroom.
And yet, if you offered me this version of my life or your payout, whatever it was How much was it? - 838,100.
- I'd choose this.
I'd choose her.
- Honey? - Yeah? Hey, I'm sorry.
Uh, Rose says Mutiny's trying to reach me, and I called and their phone lines are all tied up.
- I think we should head over there.
- Well, Donna, is it serious? No, it's probably just a riot, a massive fire, or a Goobers overdose.
Joe, thank you for a lovely evening.
Well it was good to see you.
- Sorry we have to cut it short.
- It's okay.
Enjoy the Sancerre.
Sara, thanks for having us.
Oh, my God, I thought that would never end.
What is he doing with her? And vice versa, what do you think? - She's got some sort of savior complex? - I don't know.
She seems impressive to me.
Yeah, well, I'm sure her father's name opens all kinds of doors.
Yeah, Joe's happy.
Minor miracle.
Yeah, of course he is.
He's got her completely snowed.
Well, you look lovely tonight.
Hey, uh, thank you, Pop.
Now everyone knows you're out here.
How are you, James? Couldn't have picked up a phone when you got out? No, I wanted to say this in person.
Oh, geez, here we go.
Look, the rehearsal dinner's a damn milestone.
So sit back close your piehole.
"When his mother and I found James on the roof one Christmas waiting for Santa with a flashlight and a long list of questions, we knew that our boy wasn't afraid of a challenge.
And now we know Lisa isn't either.
" Ha-ha.
"Pause for laughter.
" - Oh, nice.
- Okay.
"When James got his first strikeout in Little League I was on a sales call.
When he graduated from high school, I was at a conference in Tampa.
I know there are times when it felt like his father was nothing but a head rub in the morning and a shadow in the door at night.
But not this night.
Not tonight.
" May I see it? I'd really like to show Lisa.
Look, I don't know what Mom told you, but I'm not angry at you.
I was, but I'm not.
I hear you got yourself a hell of a gal, huh? Aw, yeah.
Well, I'll have you over over some night, - you know, when I settle in.
- Sure thing.
All righty, well, wife's awaitin'.
It's gonna feel weird saying that.
- "My wife.
" - Well, it gets easier.
Why don't you come tomorrow? What, ex-con in the front pew? Oh, your mother'd combust, for God sake.
Well, Lisa wouldn't mind.
Neither would I.
Some other time.
All right.
Take care of this old thing.
Every disk our subscribers load will be infected.
We're gonna have to do a clean reboot, tell our users to stay offline un until - We mail out new floppies? - Of everything.
Every game that we make, and reimburse them for ruining their other software.
Chances are they've suffered total data extinction, and they're gonna blame us.
God knows how many subscribers we've lost for good.
Oh, did you enjoy your finger food and cocktails? Cameron, what is this? What's going on? - A rogue program ate our drives.
- Nuked all our data.
Something called "Sonaris.
" - Oh, shit.
- You sent it? - I-I mean, I Before we left - Stop.
You wrote this? No, uh, I didn't know that he actually went ahead and sent it.
You didn't know? You're married to him.
- What is that supposed - We were trying to help you map your network.
Look, let me in there, maybe I can help.
- You want to help us? - I'm sorry, all right? You know, I'll buy you some new drives.
It's not the drives, asshole.
We lost games.
- We lost original work.
- No, no.
No, no, no.
He doesn't know what that is.
You wouldn't just stay away? You couldn't just leave us to do our thing? - Christ, get over yourself.
- I mean, which you hate because it's new and brave and because you're on the outside looking in, you sellout! - Hey.
- Watch your mouth.
Meanwhile, your wife is doing things that you couldn't even imagine.
- You want to bring her into this? - Okay.
Gordon.
- Who signs your lease? - Gordon! Who pays your water and electric behind your back, you know? Donna's the whole reason you haven't been condemned! Bet you didn't know that, did you? Or you or you or you, Little Miss Girl Genius.
- You call this a company? - Honey This is more like "Nightmare on Nerd Street"! - Hey, honey.
- What? Would you go home? - Donna.
- Just go home, please.
Sir.
That's not your car.
We've got two XTs up and running, but, uh, games are still down.
Community, too.
We'll have to do a complete reinstall from backups.
Do you want me to apologize again? This hurts me, too.
We're partners.
Please.
This is your job, Donna, but it's my life.
I live here, which means I'm always gonna catch the shit that has to be dealt with right now while you're at home making popsicles - and walking the dog - We don't have a dog.
or letting an outside party liquefy our business I'm here.
Why didn't you tell me you were having dinner with Joe MacMillan? Well, I was pretty sure you'd hold it against me.
Ding, give the lady a prize.
- It was just dinner.
- Go home to your husband.
Oh, and, Donna.
If you ever put another dime of your own money into Mutiny again behind my back, you're fired.
- You want a ride? - No, thanks.
What can I do? - Hey, uh, Cameron? - Huh? Oh, just give me a second.
Whoa, whoa, hey.
Okay, Cameron, just breathe, okay? - I am breathing.
- Okay, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come here, come here, come here, come here.
Sit down.
Just nod or shake your head, okay? Should I call a doctor? Okay, are you on any medication? Squeeze, squeeze.
Harder, harder, good.
Parallax.
Chapter three, level seven.
The cave of the four wizards.
- How do you Focus.
- What? How do you get the dragon's egg across the chasm? - What? - 'Cause if you jump, you're gonna drop it, right? And and there's a rope bridge.
But with the egg, you're too heavy.
- So, Cameron, what do you do? - I don't know.
- Go back.
- That's right, that's right.
You go back.
You go back.
You turn around, you go back inside, and you face the fourth wizard.
Right? And then only by cracking the egg in his chest - can you make him human again.
- Okay.
That's what I'm gonna miss about Parallax.
Those early chapters.
How every trap had a reward, every exit was actually an entrance.
You know, the whole thing made me feel like "The Wizard of Oz.
" But it was better because you were really like like inside the movie, you know? Running through those balloons, running through those poppy fields? It was like it was real.
- I'm gonna let go, okay? - Yeah.
I'm gonna get you some water.
Don't go anywhere, okay? How bad is it? It's bad.
I should've tested it more.
I just I got excited or I don't know.
I should have told you.
No.
No, I let it happen.
I didn't stop you.
What exactly was the issue? Oh, sorry.
Well, that's what I'm trying to find out.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
Morning.
Boy, that's funny.
Yeah.
Meet me in the mainframe room.
- I'm almost done.
- Now.
These machines - they work the same shift as us.
- Yep, 9:00 to 5:00.
Why? Millions of dollars of hardware sitting unused for 16 hours a day.
- What's this about? - A way in.
- What? - Never mind.
Back to work, then? Yes, sir.