Hot Streets (2016) s02e03 Episode Script

Super Agent 2

Jen, have you made first contact with the alien? I want to turn your skin into furniture.
Jen: He wants to turn my skin into furniture.
I see.
Ask him what kind of furniture.
- Are you okay with Jen in there? - It's not my call.
Besides, Chubbie won't let anything happen to her.
Do you come in peace? I want to turn your skin into furniture.
Ask him what kind of furniture, what kind.
I'm sorry.
I just don't have enough skin for furniture.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Aah.
[Chubbie whimpers.]
Chubbie, help me! [Whimpering.]
Chubbie, help! - Hey, Chubbie.
Where you going? - Oh, oh, oh! Where's Jen? [Whimpering.]
That cowardly son of a bitch.
I've never seen him act like that before.
Something is wrong with him.
Nah, he's shown who he really is yellow to the bone.
Chubbie, get back here! [Crying.]
[Beeping.]
Dreznik: Oh, man.
Wow.
It's really you, Super Agent.
Wait.
My name is Dreznik.
I'm a huge fan.
What do you say we we ditch this place and go on a space adventure to Rios 9 unless you have something better to do? Mark: Chubbie, come face what you did, you dumb, smelly coward! I re-created your legendary arsenal with a few slight upgrades.
Ducks! [music.]
Dreznik: I can't believe I'm here with the legendary Super Agent.
I've heard all your tales.
[Mumbling.]
Except for that one.
I had no idea you liked BBWs.
My people are being oppressed by a dictator named Senkah the Shamer.
She overthrew our king with her minions and now rules the planet using her evil psychic powers.
And the worst part she's a heavy smoker.
Senkah! I have news for you both.
Smoking is cool.
- It is? - No, it's not cool, Super Agent.
[Spits.]
You're putting your hope in a dog? Your wretched little resistance is doomed.
It's too late.
Wait.
It's just a mental projection.
Navigation computer off-line.
Crash imminent.
Oh, boy, better do something quick, Super Agent.
The ducks, you used the ducks.
I'm so lucky I gave those to you.
Yay! Yay! Resistance headquarters lies ahead in that city.
We need to be careful.
Her men are everywhere.
Nothing you can't handle, right? [Mumbling.]
Enough about BBWs! Though I like that, we got work to do.
Maybe someone else took him in.
He was a stray when you found him.
[Dog whimpering.]
Uncle Mark, I think that's Chubbie.
That's not Chubbie Webbers.
That's our friendly but incontinent mailman, - Charlie Websters.
- Hello.
Hello there.
He sounds exactly like Chubbie Webbers.
Sorry.
I don't hear any similarities.
It's insane that you would make that mistake.
How are you all doing? Yes, I have lost some weight.
Thank you, Chubbie I mean, Charlie.
[Munching.]
Since Senkah took over, my people have suffered tremendously, and those who try to fight back, take a look yourself.
That's Meeny Moe, known planetwide for his strong gray butt.
[Coughing.]
Senkah's psychic powers cause you to cough up your deepest, most shameful secrets.
She literally shames you to death.
Ow.
Oh.
Ow.
Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Ah.
He's butt fake, how shameful.
No, I'm not butt fake! I'm not! You have to believe me! - Oh [bleep.]
! - That'll be us if we're not careful.
I've got bad news.
You ain't careful! It's Captain Moldmug, Senkah's elastic-faced lieutenant.
Get him, Super Agent.
Oh, no? Did you say Super Agent? - Never heard of him! - I'm not that famous yet.
[music.]
- Yah.
- Yeah.
[Growling.]
[Straining.]
Oh, man, I wonder how it tastes.
[Pop!.]
Bad.
You know, we can get you a new dog.
I hear Peeny Squeezy's single.
Chubbie's more than a dog.
I can't lose him.
Well, I guess we could just use the GPS chip I installed in him that I never told you about.
Jason, locate Chubbie's GPS chip.
Scanning Chubbie Webber's current location, Rios 9.
Ah, that coward ran halfway across the galaxy.
We need to get there.
Freedom Fighters, I bring you our one shining hope Super Agent.
[All cheering.]
Tonight, we mount our attack on Senkah's base, but first, let's enjoy some authentic, uh, disco techno.
[disonant play.]
This is the rhythm of the streets of Rios 9.
It's pretty good unless you don't like it.
So you're Super Agent, eh? I'm Vossler.
I used to be king, you know, before Senkah took hold.
Get out of here, you old drunk.
You were a terrible king.
That's why we're in this mess, you coward.
Coward? There's nothing wrong with a good skedaddle when it's called for, boy.
It's what keeps you alive.
Also, I'm not as scared as I once was.
You'll see as will you.
Aah! [Aliens screaming.]
You were right about me as were you.
[Screaming continues.]
With your resistance crushed, I can finally expand my control to the entire universe.
Not while Super Agent is here.
How many times do I have to tell you? He's just a dog.
Let me show you.
[Coughing.]
Girl: Wags, save me! Wags! [Coughing.]
Super Agent, what does this mean? Stop Senkah! Not only is he a dog, he has a shameful past.
I'll reveal everything that happened, every last detail.
Wags.
Super Agent! - See? - Ugh.
He's nothing, a pet.
Please don't go, Super Agent.
I love you.
[Inhales, coughs.]
[Laughter.]
Time to take a big foggy poop in the nude, just how I like it.
Can I watch? It is the weekend.
I'm sorry, Franch.
This one might be just too foggy.
French, we need Franch's spaceship to save Chubbie Webbers.
Finally a use for Franch's spaceship.
Go ahead and run, Wags.
We both know it wouldn't be the first time.
Looks like we're row buddies, Super Agent.
It's fun to run, right? Sure is easy.
- Welcome to Rios 9.
- What should I do, Franch? Brush your teeth.
You'll be smiling very soon.
- Ay, ay, Captain.
- Chubbie has to be here somewhere.
Relax.
We're gonna find him, and it's gonna be easy.
[Sighs.]
I know that you feel pretty awful right now for running.
I felt that way many, many times.
I ran from Senkah so fast, I even lost my crown! Ha! But trust me.
I'm alive because of that awful feeling.
You and me are gonna run to all the sad places in the galaxy.
What a long life we're gonna live.
Man: People of the universe, welcome back to Senkah TV.
We've got some special new guests Earthlings.
My friends? We need to go back! Go back to Rios 9? No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not the way a coward runs, friend.
A coward runs forward or crosswise or further.
I think.
Hijack, we're turning this [bleep.]
plane around and going back! Now I want to run from you.
The time has come, ladies and gentlemen.
It's time to learn all of your darkest secrets.
- Chubbie?! - Charlie, I mean, Chubbie! You again? I guess you want everyone to witness your shameful, dark truth.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Fine, and let the show begin.
Everyone, meet Wags.
[Coughing.]
Go ahead.
Open the one with the holes first.
[Mumbling.]
Oh! [Giggling.]
He's so happy.
I think I'll call him Wags.
- Aah! Aah! - Aah! - Wags, save me, Wags! - Aah! - Wags! - Aah! No! [Screaming.]
There it is, the shameful truth, and what do your friends think of you now? You were just a puppy.
Your head, it hasn't exploded.
Why aren't you ashamed? Oh, I'll kill you with my bare hands.
[Chattering.]
You can't stop me.
You're just a dog.
Hey, Senkah, this is for Dreznik.
Smoke this.
[Ducks quacking.]
[Boom!.]
[music.]
[Chubbie whimpering.]
[Bleep.]
off.
Chubbie, you truly are a Super Agent.
Or should we call you Wags? What do you want to be called? Mom, stop! [Shivering.]
Oh, he's shivering.
Can we keep him? You'll have to clean him off and give him a name.
Chubbie Webbers.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode