Kid Cosmic (2021) s02e03 Episode Script

1
[Kid] Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[blues music playing]
Ow!
Oh, canapes, check,
mini-cupcakes, check,
Baltharian bites, check.
-Okay, team. We just--
-Don’t hide your pretty face.
Oh my gosh, Mom!
Okay, team.
Oh, forgot garnishes!
Ugh! Mom! Just stay still for a second.
I gotta get this right, Jo.
We gotta get this right.
I spent hours and hours
preparing for this mission.
Well, loving preparation
applies to garnish as well.
Okay, listen up.
As you all know, we located
two Cosmic Stones of Power,
the twin Fire and Ice Stones.
And as you also know,
this team’s previous mission
to retrieve said stones was…
less than successful.
The Sacred Scroll accurately
predicted their location.
[Flo] But said nothing of their terrifying
and numerous guardians.
-[crackles]
-[roars]
Ahh!
[Papa G] Those batbugs sure were feisty.
But thanks to the quick-thinking
of our fearless leader Jo…
[Jo] We eventually succeeded.
[Queen Xhan] Before you ultimately failed.
Ahh!
[Xhan] In the weeks that followed,
the stones went on quite a journey.
They have changed hands many times.
Finally landing in the grasp
of the merciless boss
of the Bagai Crime League…
who presented them
to his beloved object of affection,
Madame Fiosa.
Unfortunately,
Fiosa’s greatest affection is for power.
With the help of the stones,
she assumed control of the Bagais.
And as Boss Fiosa, she has ruled
the criminal underworld since.
[Kid] Wow!
I know she’s a Bagai and all,
but, man, she sounds cool!
Kid! Someone as ruthless as Fiosa
cannot be allowed to wield such power.
It falls to us to stop her.
With a birthday party!
Yay!
Happy birthday, dear villain ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Right. Thanks to Queen Xhan’s
connections to the boss
we got invites.
And a catering gig.
Best part of the whole plan. Ha-ha!
Thanks, Xhan-Xhan!
I’m excited, but nervous, but excited!
You excited? I am!
Big night for the Oasis!
And the Local Heroes!
-Local Heroes!
-Local Heroes!
Once again, let’s go over
how this will precisely go down.
[drums playing]
[Jo] Team A will infiltrate
the party as guests
while Team B goes undercover
as the party’s catering staff.
[Flo] Regardless of the reason
we’re there,
I still expect top-notch
customer service from everyone,
even if the customers are evil.
That goes for you too, Kid!
[Kid] Ugh, Jo!
Why can’t I be on Team A?
[Jo] Team A, Team B.
Everyone has to stay sharp.
Our fellow guests are among the worst
criminals in the known universe.
Fiosa’s security team will be keeping
a close eye on everyone,
and that includes us.
Blend in and don’t draw
any attention to yourselves.
-And don’t make anyone angry.
-[grunts]
Remember these guests are dangerous.
Queen Xhan will deal with
the most dangerous one of them,
Boss Fiosa.
Happy birthday, Boss Fios-- [grunts]
Ahh!
[cymbal clangs]
You’ve got a lot of brass
to show up here, Xhan.
And I’m so glad you did!
[chuckling]
[Jo] When Xhan has Fiosa’s attention,
I’ll give the signal
to move into position.
[suspenseful music playing]
[chinks]
[clinks]
[Jo] Then Xhan will get
everyone else’s attention.
[Xhan] Attention please!
Can I have everyone’s attention?
Please, please everyone,
I need your full attention!
I, Queen Xhan,
would like to propose a toast…
to the most beautiful and ruthless
boss the Bagai has ever had!
[all] Cheers!
[clinking]
[Jo] While all eyes are on Xhan, we need
to take out Fiosa’s bodyguard, Jerry.
So we bring in the big guns.
[meowing]
[growling]
[Jo] Tuna blinds Jerry,
and Papa G blinds the cameras.
What the he…
That’s not a mirror, man!
Why are they all showing the same thing?
Must be a glitch.
We need to reboot the system.
-But we’ll be offline for 30 seconds.
-It’ll be fine.
What could happen in the next 30 seconds?
[Jo] Everything happens
in the next 30 seconds.
Hamburg,
you have ten seconds
to offer Fiosa a snack.
Ooh, and I’ll have one
of those and two of those and…
[beeps]
[gulping]
I say, do you have any drinks?
[Kid] How about some punch?
Oh, Lemon Lime Child.
My favorite flavor!
[beeps]
Appetizer?
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
[Jo] Leaving mom a full 20 seconds
to swap out the stones.
[beeps]
[soft music playing]
Uh, Xhan, you must try these.
[gasps] Where did she…
Jerry? Where are you?
I need you by my side at all times
or I might be forced to…
mingle!
No!
So, did we get the stones?
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
-[Papa G] All right!
-We did it!
Okay, thank you to everyone
for playing their parts so, so perfectly.
You’re awesome!
-Appreciate it.
-I did great.
I guess we were pretty good.
I just wanna say,
Queen Xhan,
we never could’ve pulled off this heist
if your fame hadn’t gotten us here.
You’re, like, so inspiring and amazing.
And I can only hope I can live up
to your hard-core legacy.
Phew! You guys. We did it!
We really did it!
Whoo! Now who's ready to cele--
Go home.
-Go.
-Let's go. I'm tired!
[Kid] Come on, portal up, fearless leader!
Oh, okay, sorry.
Yeah, whatever you guys want.
It’s not like
we're actually at a celebration party.
Excuse us.
She was our ride.
Whoa! Xhan…
A true leader never asks their team
what they want to do.
They do what you tell them to do.
Remember Principle Two?
"Stop taking orders,
and start giving orders."
You are not a waitress.
Time to take your rightful place.
…und that’s when I got
interested in pinecones.
Uh-huh.
Finally.
-Now let’s get--
-Into that party and celebrate!
Didn't we just decide to go home?
No buts!
We did this. We earned this.
And we deserve this.
Now go in there and enjoy yourselves
whether you like it or not.
And that's an order!
[speaking indistinctly]
[Xhan] Make way for Queen Xhan.
Where did you go?
To freshen up, dear.
Have I introduced you to my protégé, Jo?
She’s celebrating tonight as well.
Well, then,
let’s really get this party started.
[whistling]
[celebration music playing]
Ahh!
[grunts]
This is crazy. We’re a superhero team.
We shouldn’t be mingling with evil-doers.
Come on, lucky crystal,
you never let me down yet.
Papa needs a new pair of moon boots.
Papa G, we really need to get out of here.
Listen, Kid, Big Boss says we gotta stay.
So… when life gives you gorfblats,
you make lemonade.
You’re going down, G!
Snake eyes and a minus-20 dexterity?
-No!
-Whoo-hoo!
Mess with the bull, get the clones!
[laughing, cheering]
Flo, you gotta talk to Jo
and convince her to go.
Sorry, Kid,
but Great Leader has other things in mind.
She won’t listen to me.
I’m only, like, her mom or something.
At least maybe I can drum up
some business.
Mo’s Oasis,
like no other place in space is.
Best food in five parsecs.
Ten percent off your first meal.
[babbles]
[strains]
Rosa, you look as angry
as I am about this party.
[grunts]
Yeah!
Who's next?
Hamburg, we gotta get out of here.
This party stinks.
Bist du verrükt?
I’m having the time of my life!
Woo-hoo!
I can’t believe
how wild I’m getting tonight.
So I coughed up a hairball
right on the greenhorn’s pillow.
-[laughing]
-[purrs]
Yeah.
Tuna… can you help me?
Back off, Kid.
This ole tom cat’s on the prowl.
-But I--
-[hisses]
Now, I’ve got some Grade-A catnip
I’ve been saving for a special occasion.
[Feline Alien purrs]
Agh.
What can I get you?
Juice. Apple.
Oof, bad night?
You don’t know the half of it.
[slurps]
Queen Xhan, a picture?
Can I get a picture please?
Big fan.
[Xhan] Of course, emperor.
But no touching.
[chuckles] Of course.
Emperor Durose, my protégé, Jo.
Jo, Emperor Durose.
He’s a con man, not an emperor,
but don’t point that out
or he will blast you.
Don’t worry. I can handle it.
Emperor Durose.
So nice to meet you, sir.
Jo is destined to defeat Erodious
and save the galaxy.
Well, then, my empire is secure.
I must get a picture.
Ahh!
-Kid, what are you doing?
-We gotta get out of here, Jo.
We’re surrounded by bad guys,
and any one of them could find out
we took the S-T-O-N-S.
That’s not how you spell stones.
And as your leader I order you to relax!
Thanks to my planning,
the heist went off without a hitch.
If we can pull this off,
getting the stones
will be a piece of cake.
We’ll defeat Erodious, no problem.
Nothing can stop us now.
[awing]
-[guests clapping]
-Ahh!
Ahh!
[gasps]
[clapping]
Eww, watch it.
Jo, look.
[Jo] Fantos?
That superpowerful super nerdy
super-villain man-boy?
[Kid] He’s gotta be here
to nab the Fire and Ice Stones.
[Jo] Ha. Well, too late.
We already nabbed them.
-He’s welcome to the fake ones, though.
-We gotta do something.
Ugh! Fine, I guess we better leave
before Fantos spots us.
What? I don’t want to leave.
I mean, I did, but now Fantos is here.
No, the "something" we gotta do
is get my original stone back!
Are you kidding?
What’s the problem?
We just pull another heist. Piece of cake.
We can’t just pull another heist.
The first one took weeks
of planning and recon.
Okay, so we just use the same plan
and pull the first heist all over again.
Everybody back into start positions.
Kid, you wanted to leave?
So we’re leaving. Now.
I’m getting my stone.
Now.
Gahhh! No!
Get back here! That’s an order!
Gaaah!
Illustrious Fiosa!
What a pleasure to finally meet you.
Of course, it is.
And who exactly are you?
Oh, just an admirer.
Hey, buddy…
eyes up here.
[groans]
[thuds]
[gasp]
Kid Cosmic!
-What are you doing here?
-Give me my telechronitis stone back!
It’s telekinesis! And no!
Ahh!
Kid!
[screaming]
Jerry! Where are you?
Do your gropping job!
[grunts]
Huh?
[yells]
-[thuds]
-[sighs]
Oh, I see what happened here.
A bunch of super-powered thieves
have infiltrated your party
and stolen your Fire and Ice Stones
before I had a chance to grab them myself.
What are you talking about?
They’re right here.
And what did you mean
by "grab them myself"?
Hey, rhetorical question!
[grunts]
-[shatters]
-[guests gasp]
[gasps] Fakes!
Where are the real stones?
Well, if I had to guess…
[grunts]
Behold the unmistakable beauty of the real
Cosmic Stones of Power! [echoing]
Xhan, I should’ve known you’d betray me.
It’s the Aluben Nebula all over again.
Bagai, get those thieves!
Ugh!
Kid! You blew our cover and got us caught!
[Flo] It’s not the Kid’s fault, Jo.
We should’ve left when we all
wanted to instead of sticking around.
It is his fault.
For not obeying me
when I said it was time to leave.
-Are you saying it’s my fault?
-I’m not saying that.
She’s right, Jo. You’re his leader.
-You should've forced him to obey you.
-I’m not saying that either!
Well, I command
the absolute obedience of my entire gang.
And I command my gang
to throw you off my satellite
to die in the icy grip of outer space!
Hey, I’ve got the stones.
I’m the one who’s in command now.
You know that’s a pretty good idea.
What if… Go ahead,
do the throwing-into-space thing.
Oh.
Oh no.
[lights buzzing]
[clinking]
No.
Is it…
Ahh! I can’t believe it! It’s really here!
Erodious the Planet Killer is here!
Ahhh!
[screaming]
Hey, get back here and carry me to safety!
[thuds, shatters]
What do we do, Jo?
Uh…
Leave the children! Save yourself!
Awaitin’ orders, fearless leader.
Uhhh…
Ahhh! Ándale!
I… I… Uhhh…
Okay, team. I’m taking over.
But, Mom, I--
Sorry, sweetie, but you’re choking
and we need to get everyone to safety.
[dramatic music playing]
[Flo] Rosa, roof!
[strains]
[Flo] Hamburg, hands!
[clamoring]
[Flo] Papa G, traffic control!
Single file, folks, single file.
Thanks for coming. Thank you.
[Flo] Tuna, status report!
Destruction of the planet
in one minute, 59 seconds.
-Jo!
-[Tuna] 58.
Fifty-seven,
56, 55,
54, 53…
[planet explodes]
[Fantos] Impressive, isn’t it?
Its greatness is hard to fathom,
but impossible to deny.
And impossible to defeat.
Wait up, hold still.
The look of abject terror
on your face is perfect.
Okay and now one of the three of us.
[shutter clicking]
Yes! Yes! So good.
I’ll text them both to you. Boop! Done!
[phone beeps]
That’s… Erodious?
[Fantos] Yeah.
I’m guessing you’re feeling
pretty hopeless right now.
How could some scrawny
teenage girl from Earth
defeat that awesome power?
Maybe, maybe if you were able
to collect all 13 Cosmic Stones,
you might have a chance.
But turns out, it is my destiny
to possess the 13 stones,
not yours.
My stones, not yours.
My stones, not yours. My stones…
Ahh!
Hey, I wasn’t done mocking her!
My stones, not…
You call this living up to my legacy?
Frozen in fear? Hmph.
My stones, not yours…
Aw, man!
Okay, done mocking.
You’re going to pay for this!
My birthday party’s been ruined!
Really? I had a great time.
Mom!
[laughing]
[Carla] Whoo!
Yeah!
Yee-haw!
Whoo!
Oh, Flo,
since I lost my bike,
I been stuck in neutral,
but this sure feeds my need for speed.
Thanks a bunch, hon.
Glad I can make you feel better.
[sighs]
I only wish I could do the same for Jo.
[knocking]
Go away.
[knocking]
I said go away!
[grunts]
Oh, come on!
Hey, Jo.
Sorry about earlier.
I should have listened to you.
It wasn’t your fault, Kid. It was mine.
But, yeah, you should’ve listened.
I mean, you’re the leader.
That may be so, but you were right.
I should’ve had everyone leave
the minute we got the stones.
But after our mess-ups before,
my big plan led the team to victory.
I… guess I just wanted to celebrate
‘cause it might be the only win I…
err, we ever get.
What? Come on.
It’s like you said,
"If you figured out
this complicated heist,
you can figure out
how to defeat Erodious."
So what if the Planet Killer is actually
a literal planet-sized killer of planets?
Erodious is nothing to be afraid of.
I believe in you.
Mom doesn’t.
She knows I’ll choke.
Then don’t choke.
You can do this.
We can do this.
[door closes]
But that’s what I’m afraid of.
We won’t…
because
I can’t.
-[R.B-O.T] Ready to prove your mettle?
-[R.9-C.R] Monday! Monday! Monday!
[R.B-O.T] It’s the galaxy’s number-one
battle arena show:
[R.9-C.R] FIGHT HOLE!
[R.B-O.T] Join us live from the danger
belt when this week’s latest
battle-hardened contestants go…
[R.9-C.R] Head to head!
[R.B-O.T] And face the craziest, baddest,
most bloodthirsty reigning champion ever…
[R.9-C.R] The unconquerable Krosh!
Krosh! Krosh!
Who can ever defeat her?
Maybe it’s you!
[R.9-C.R] Jump in, loser! What? scared?
Or can I?
[closing theme music playing]