Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s02e03 Episode Script
Doom and Groom
1
Whoa!
Skadoosh.
Caught red-handed.
How dare you steal from me
and think you can get away with it?
Steal what?
Uh, we would never steal from anyone.
We came in with all that stuff.
Hey! That's my necklace.
I know you
From the market.
I knew you were scum!
Where's the staff?
I was offering you
50 pieces of silver for it,
but now, I'll take it for free.
Uh I already sold it.
See? I told you
it was a good idea to hide it.
This, sir, is what those
sewer-dwelling scoundrels were after.
Master Mastodon's pendant.
Hmm. Very foolish.
If not for you, Diya,
they would have gotten away with it.
Consider the capture of these thieves
my first wedding gift to you.
And the return of this beautiful pendant,
a symbol of my loyalty
and trustworthiness,
future son-in-law.
I was hesitant about you, Diya,
but now I see the union of our families
will be a benefit to the entire community.
Hmm.
Now that I look at it,
this necklace would make
a fine thali for my
my, uh, wedding.
Hmm.
I suppose it's time to set a date.
Oh, well, now that you mention it,
how about now?
Today! Immediately.
Oh! Oh
Uh
Uh
I-I was gonna say "pretty soon,"
but, uh, y-yeah.
Today it is!
Everyone,
you are all invited to my wedding.
Uh, today!
Pfft! No problem.
We just wait until things cool down,
steal it off a new bride,
fresh from her wedding
We're still the good guys, right?
The Villains Canteen is ready
to accommodate a large group
at a moment's notice.
Diya, you absolute traitor!
Oh, I will exact
my most terrible revenge upon you,
you poorly made poppadom!
- You pile of
- Shut it!
Bring her.
I'll have her tell me
what she really did with that cane.
As for the others, lock them up.
I'll deal with them later.
Perhaps after my 80-day honeymoon
sailing across the world.
Oi! Where's the helmet?
Veruca, don't be rude.
What? That's what we're here for.
- Where do you think I'm taking you?
- Good. That's very good.
It's a trap. Time to squash him.
What? No, Veruca. It's our people.
We thought they were dead.
They thought we were too.
Here we are.
Welcome home
to the last heart of the mages.
We call it
New England.
Eh? Get it?
Stupid name.
Still want to squash him?
A little.
I'm just gonna
It's not budging, pal.
Don't "pal" me, bud.
Don't "bud" me, guy!
Don't "guy" me pal!
Dang it! I said that already.
Got him!
We have to find a way out of here
and stop that wedding.
If they leave with that pendant,
we'll have no way of finding
the Storm Wheels.
And we gotta save Rukhmini.
Rukhmini is the reason we're stuck here.
Let's just focus on
getting that pendant for now, okay?
- But
- I'm sure she can take care of herself.
There must be a way out of here.
- Uh, Blade?
- Wait.
Po, help me move this pedestal.
What's this?
How did you know to do that?
Are you psychic?
Quick, what am I thinking right now?
You're hungry.
What?
You're always hungry.
This is how we'll make our escape.
I got this!
Get in there.
Alright, it's too small.
But don't worry, I got an idea.
Dad, give me a hand.
- Guys, heads up!
- Huh?
Hey! What's going on in there, buddy?
Nothing. And don't call me "buddy," pal.
Don't call me "pal," mac.
Don't call me "mac," sport.
Don't call me "sport," chief.
Don't call me "chief," muchacho.
Don't call me "muchacho," slick.
Ha! Got him again.
So nervous.
If I didn't know better,
I'd say you didn't want to get married.
Silence.
Oh, I'm just concerned is all.
I don't need your concern.
Just tell me where you've hidden the cane.
I'm not fond of mingling
with lowlifes like you.
Oh, yeah?
Then why are you marrying the daughter
of one of India's Most Wanted?
That's right.
Diya is a thief.
She's my old partner. Ha!
I'm aware.
I bought up
every inch of this city that I could.
Except one holdout
Diya.
- But when the opportunity to marry
- her daughter presented itself,
I leapt at it.
Don't get me wrong,
the girl is not without her charms,
but once this thali is around her neck
and we're married,
then I'll have
a legitimate claim to their land,
and I can finally level this tacky place
to make a parking lot.
Rickshaws far as the eye can see.
Does that bother you?
Uh, no. No, Diya deserves it.
It's just so boring.
Well, the return on investment
is undeniable.
I'd show you numbers,
but I have a wedding to get to.
Oh! That's Wow.
Ghastly!
It smells like steamed broccoli
wrapped in your workout pants.
Ew! What?
Dad! You're embarrassing me
in front of my friend!
Alright, follow me.
Ooh, psychic powers!
- Oh, oh. What am I thinking now?
- You're still hungry.
No way.
The water is going downhill.
Diya's restaurant is by the beach.
Therefore, we're going this way.
Her psychic powers are amazing.
Let's go crash a wedding.
This island is
everything we mages believe in.
The home we would have made England,
had we succeeded in
placing Veruca on the throne.
We live in harmony with nature
as we learn its secrets.
Kinda looks like
you're learning the secrets of
fruity drinks.
Amazing.
How did so many of you make it out?
Barely.
Just barely.
After word spread
of Sir Alfred's death,
the knights came for us all.
We saw Veruca arrested,
assumed you were dead.
We had to leave England.
For months we sailed,
trying to find
a land that would take us in.
Until, as if drawn to it,
as if we were always meant to be here,
we discovered this island.
Although we found water,
none of the plants were edible.
We thought we might starve.
But then we found a sacred gift,
a helmet that controls the winds.
It brought us here.
And it brought you here too.
Where is it now?
Oh, he'll be happy to show it to you.
Who will?
Our Archmage.
Huh?
Hmm.
Ha-ha!
Oof, my knees.
Still got it, though.
Forget the treasure hunt.
None of this is worth the trouble.
Ah, joke's on you.
That rich maniac's
about to take everything you've got.
Uh, poor kid's got no idea
she's about to get scammed.
Well, she needs to learn
about the real world someday.
But that's not my problem.
You wait here.
I'll tell him he has visitors.
Oh, yes, do tell him,
if it's not too much trouble.
I'm replaced, eh? Just like that?
I know what you're thinking.
None of us knew where you'd been taken.
It took me years to find you.
Fifteen years.
Don't Don't do anything rash.
You don't give me orders.
We're taking the helmet,
and we're leaving tonight.
- Does anyone see the pendant?
- Or Rukhmini?
She probably escaped hours ago.
Look, there!
Mm.
Wow! You were right, I was hungry!
Okay, here's how it's gonna go down.
Blade and I will hop down
and start mixing it up with the groomsmen.
Hyah! Ha-ti!
While everyone's distracted,
my dad can grab the pendant.
I'll nab a snack platter
if there's an opening.
Blade will get the whip and use her
super-psychic powers to keep us all safe,
and we all escape to freedom.
Deal?
Po, I am not psychic.
Right, gotcha.
You're telling me what you know
that I know I need to hear.
Smart. Super smart.
Boogie on three.
One, two, three, boogie!
Ha!
Haven't you heard?
Wedding's off.
So, you managed to escape my men,
yet you squander your chance at freedom.
Pity. Take them away!
Oh! I thought they were belts.
This makes way more sense.
Quickly, continue the ceremony.
Lead her around the fire seven times.
Hurry up! I'll handle this interruption.
Rukhmini?
Can't let you have all the fun.
The team is back together!
The what now?
Hi-yah!
I won't let you ruin this!
Ha! There's the old Diya I know and love.
Hmm
Oh Oh!
W-was that six or seven?
Five, six I-I lost count.
Whoa-whoa!
Oh! Thali, ho!
Klaus and Veruca Dumont?
Mind blown.
What a miracle to see you again.
How was the journey?
Whoa. Song idea.
Mm, yeah. I'll remember it.
Do you need a drink?
Maybe a pair of sandals?
Kyle? You made Kyle your Archmage?
Took a vote and I won.
Didn't even know I was running.
Bang. There's another.
Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't ♪
Didn't even know I was runnin' but I ♪
Where's the helmet?
You wanna see it?
Oh, seems we both
were called to powerful weapons.
Yeah, and now I'm called to yours.
- Veruca!
- What?
I'm not changing the plan just because
some lazy imposter wants to take my job.
They made me the Archmage
because I protect the mages.
This helmet is what allows me
to bring ships in for supplies.
Food. Shelter.
If you take it
we die.
I am the Archmage.
Not you.
I command the mages rightfully.
I didn't ask for the responsibility,
but here it is on my shoulders.
I will protect them.
Okay, good enough. Last step.
Tie the three knots
into the thali around her neck.
Why are we rushing? This is our big day!
Uh
Uh
Feeling your age?
Oh. Better than a chiropractor.
You don't fight like you used to.
You
You do fight like you used to.
Oh, it's your heart that's changed.
After 30 years,
you showed up at the worst possible time.
Why couldn't you stay lost?
Open your eyes, Diya.
Jayesh is only marrying Padma
so he can take your restaurant,
then the whole town.
Our town!
You're getting conned!
Don't you think I know that?
Wha-what?
You You do?
You're willing to give up everything
to be like him?
I have a wedding to get back to.
Wait! Wait! Veruca, don't!
Klaus and Veruca back from the dead ♪
Coming in here
With one thought in their head ♪
Think they're gonna take
Our livelihood ♪
What they don't understand is
I don't think they should ♪
It's done.
I got it! La
The pendant!
Uh, maybe it still works.
Uh, did anyone bring glue to this wedding?
Maybe a very sticky chutney?
Without that,
we'll never find the Storm Wheels.
I think it still works!
Dad!
Dad?
Whoa!
Skadoosh.
Caught red-handed.
How dare you steal from me
and think you can get away with it?
Steal what?
Uh, we would never steal from anyone.
We came in with all that stuff.
Hey! That's my necklace.
I know you
From the market.
I knew you were scum!
Where's the staff?
I was offering you
50 pieces of silver for it,
but now, I'll take it for free.
Uh I already sold it.
See? I told you
it was a good idea to hide it.
This, sir, is what those
sewer-dwelling scoundrels were after.
Master Mastodon's pendant.
Hmm. Very foolish.
If not for you, Diya,
they would have gotten away with it.
Consider the capture of these thieves
my first wedding gift to you.
And the return of this beautiful pendant,
a symbol of my loyalty
and trustworthiness,
future son-in-law.
I was hesitant about you, Diya,
but now I see the union of our families
will be a benefit to the entire community.
Hmm.
Now that I look at it,
this necklace would make
a fine thali for my
my, uh, wedding.
Hmm.
I suppose it's time to set a date.
Oh, well, now that you mention it,
how about now?
Today! Immediately.
Oh! Oh
Uh
Uh
I-I was gonna say "pretty soon,"
but, uh, y-yeah.
Today it is!
Everyone,
you are all invited to my wedding.
Uh, today!
Pfft! No problem.
We just wait until things cool down,
steal it off a new bride,
fresh from her wedding
We're still the good guys, right?
The Villains Canteen is ready
to accommodate a large group
at a moment's notice.
Diya, you absolute traitor!
Oh, I will exact
my most terrible revenge upon you,
you poorly made poppadom!
- You pile of
- Shut it!
Bring her.
I'll have her tell me
what she really did with that cane.
As for the others, lock them up.
I'll deal with them later.
Perhaps after my 80-day honeymoon
sailing across the world.
Oi! Where's the helmet?
Veruca, don't be rude.
What? That's what we're here for.
- Where do you think I'm taking you?
- Good. That's very good.
It's a trap. Time to squash him.
What? No, Veruca. It's our people.
We thought they were dead.
They thought we were too.
Here we are.
Welcome home
to the last heart of the mages.
We call it
New England.
Eh? Get it?
Stupid name.
Still want to squash him?
A little.
I'm just gonna
It's not budging, pal.
Don't "pal" me, bud.
Don't "bud" me, guy!
Don't "guy" me pal!
Dang it! I said that already.
Got him!
We have to find a way out of here
and stop that wedding.
If they leave with that pendant,
we'll have no way of finding
the Storm Wheels.
And we gotta save Rukhmini.
Rukhmini is the reason we're stuck here.
Let's just focus on
getting that pendant for now, okay?
- But
- I'm sure she can take care of herself.
There must be a way out of here.
- Uh, Blade?
- Wait.
Po, help me move this pedestal.
What's this?
How did you know to do that?
Are you psychic?
Quick, what am I thinking right now?
You're hungry.
What?
You're always hungry.
This is how we'll make our escape.
I got this!
Get in there.
Alright, it's too small.
But don't worry, I got an idea.
Dad, give me a hand.
- Guys, heads up!
- Huh?
Hey! What's going on in there, buddy?
Nothing. And don't call me "buddy," pal.
Don't call me "pal," mac.
Don't call me "mac," sport.
Don't call me "sport," chief.
Don't call me "chief," muchacho.
Don't call me "muchacho," slick.
Ha! Got him again.
So nervous.
If I didn't know better,
I'd say you didn't want to get married.
Silence.
Oh, I'm just concerned is all.
I don't need your concern.
Just tell me where you've hidden the cane.
I'm not fond of mingling
with lowlifes like you.
Oh, yeah?
Then why are you marrying the daughter
of one of India's Most Wanted?
That's right.
Diya is a thief.
She's my old partner. Ha!
I'm aware.
I bought up
every inch of this city that I could.
Except one holdout
Diya.
- But when the opportunity to marry
- her daughter presented itself,
I leapt at it.
Don't get me wrong,
the girl is not without her charms,
but once this thali is around her neck
and we're married,
then I'll have
a legitimate claim to their land,
and I can finally level this tacky place
to make a parking lot.
Rickshaws far as the eye can see.
Does that bother you?
Uh, no. No, Diya deserves it.
It's just so boring.
Well, the return on investment
is undeniable.
I'd show you numbers,
but I have a wedding to get to.
Oh! That's Wow.
Ghastly!
It smells like steamed broccoli
wrapped in your workout pants.
Ew! What?
Dad! You're embarrassing me
in front of my friend!
Alright, follow me.
Ooh, psychic powers!
- Oh, oh. What am I thinking now?
- You're still hungry.
No way.
The water is going downhill.
Diya's restaurant is by the beach.
Therefore, we're going this way.
Her psychic powers are amazing.
Let's go crash a wedding.
This island is
everything we mages believe in.
The home we would have made England,
had we succeeded in
placing Veruca on the throne.
We live in harmony with nature
as we learn its secrets.
Kinda looks like
you're learning the secrets of
fruity drinks.
Amazing.
How did so many of you make it out?
Barely.
Just barely.
After word spread
of Sir Alfred's death,
the knights came for us all.
We saw Veruca arrested,
assumed you were dead.
We had to leave England.
For months we sailed,
trying to find
a land that would take us in.
Until, as if drawn to it,
as if we were always meant to be here,
we discovered this island.
Although we found water,
none of the plants were edible.
We thought we might starve.
But then we found a sacred gift,
a helmet that controls the winds.
It brought us here.
And it brought you here too.
Where is it now?
Oh, he'll be happy to show it to you.
Who will?
Our Archmage.
Huh?
Hmm.
Ha-ha!
Oof, my knees.
Still got it, though.
Forget the treasure hunt.
None of this is worth the trouble.
Ah, joke's on you.
That rich maniac's
about to take everything you've got.
Uh, poor kid's got no idea
she's about to get scammed.
Well, she needs to learn
about the real world someday.
But that's not my problem.
You wait here.
I'll tell him he has visitors.
Oh, yes, do tell him,
if it's not too much trouble.
I'm replaced, eh? Just like that?
I know what you're thinking.
None of us knew where you'd been taken.
It took me years to find you.
Fifteen years.
Don't Don't do anything rash.
You don't give me orders.
We're taking the helmet,
and we're leaving tonight.
- Does anyone see the pendant?
- Or Rukhmini?
She probably escaped hours ago.
Look, there!
Mm.
Wow! You were right, I was hungry!
Okay, here's how it's gonna go down.
Blade and I will hop down
and start mixing it up with the groomsmen.
Hyah! Ha-ti!
While everyone's distracted,
my dad can grab the pendant.
I'll nab a snack platter
if there's an opening.
Blade will get the whip and use her
super-psychic powers to keep us all safe,
and we all escape to freedom.
Deal?
Po, I am not psychic.
Right, gotcha.
You're telling me what you know
that I know I need to hear.
Smart. Super smart.
Boogie on three.
One, two, three, boogie!
Ha!
Haven't you heard?
Wedding's off.
So, you managed to escape my men,
yet you squander your chance at freedom.
Pity. Take them away!
Oh! I thought they were belts.
This makes way more sense.
Quickly, continue the ceremony.
Lead her around the fire seven times.
Hurry up! I'll handle this interruption.
Rukhmini?
Can't let you have all the fun.
The team is back together!
The what now?
Hi-yah!
I won't let you ruin this!
Ha! There's the old Diya I know and love.
Hmm
Oh Oh!
W-was that six or seven?
Five, six I-I lost count.
Whoa-whoa!
Oh! Thali, ho!
Klaus and Veruca Dumont?
Mind blown.
What a miracle to see you again.
How was the journey?
Whoa. Song idea.
Mm, yeah. I'll remember it.
Do you need a drink?
Maybe a pair of sandals?
Kyle? You made Kyle your Archmage?
Took a vote and I won.
Didn't even know I was running.
Bang. There's another.
Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't ♪
Didn't even know I was runnin' but I ♪
Where's the helmet?
You wanna see it?
Oh, seems we both
were called to powerful weapons.
Yeah, and now I'm called to yours.
- Veruca!
- What?
I'm not changing the plan just because
some lazy imposter wants to take my job.
They made me the Archmage
because I protect the mages.
This helmet is what allows me
to bring ships in for supplies.
Food. Shelter.
If you take it
we die.
I am the Archmage.
Not you.
I command the mages rightfully.
I didn't ask for the responsibility,
but here it is on my shoulders.
I will protect them.
Okay, good enough. Last step.
Tie the three knots
into the thali around her neck.
Why are we rushing? This is our big day!
Uh
Uh
Feeling your age?
Oh. Better than a chiropractor.
You don't fight like you used to.
You
You do fight like you used to.
Oh, it's your heart that's changed.
After 30 years,
you showed up at the worst possible time.
Why couldn't you stay lost?
Open your eyes, Diya.
Jayesh is only marrying Padma
so he can take your restaurant,
then the whole town.
Our town!
You're getting conned!
Don't you think I know that?
Wha-what?
You You do?
You're willing to give up everything
to be like him?
I have a wedding to get back to.
Wait! Wait! Veruca, don't!
Klaus and Veruca back from the dead ♪
Coming in here
With one thought in their head ♪
Think they're gonna take
Our livelihood ♪
What they don't understand is
I don't think they should ♪
It's done.
I got it! La
The pendant!
Uh, maybe it still works.
Uh, did anyone bring glue to this wedding?
Maybe a very sticky chutney?
Without that,
we'll never find the Storm Wheels.
I think it still works!
Dad!
Dad?