Lost in Oz (2015) s02e03 Episode Script

The Still Season

1 Previously on "Lost In Oz" I think that's the most beautiful escape sand boat I've ever seen.
Are you stealing the king's garbage? DOROTHY: It's a music box.
Looks like you just became the entertainment for the king's birthday dinner.
The king's birthday is in three days.
If our plan works, we'll be long gone by then.
WEST: What is going on with me? When I'm asleep, I blast holes in walls.
But when I need it most, I can't conjure magic at all.
She needs guidance.
My guidance.
[SIGHS.]
Not even a breeze, Toto.
[RUMBLING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
I've been carried away by not one, but two Wait.
No, three, three tornadoes.
But when I could really use a little regular every day w Wind.
The wind! Come on, Toto.
Time to get Scarecrow and get out of here.
[BARKING.]
[DOOR SQUEAKS.]
[WHISPERING.]
Scarecrow? Scarecrow, where are you? - He's with everyone else.
- [GASPING.]
At the king's party.
Oh.
Hey, Xandort.
I came to get you.
You're late.
I see you found my music box.
I thought someone might have sent it down the chute before I could give it to our beloved Yeah, you were gonna leave.
What? No, Xandort.
Dorothy, you built a sand boat.
But I don't belong here.
I know.
Neither do I.
Are you gonna tell Guph? I wouldn't blame you if you did.
Nah.
It wouldn't make any difference.
You're not goin' anywhere in this.
Why? What's wrong with it? Nothin', except it needs the wind.
And after tonight, there won't be any wind for an entire season.
So, from me and all the guys in reclamation and disposal, we're honored to present you, our beloved, enchanted, and wise King Roquat [GASPING.]
What did you just call me? - Uh um - [WHISPERING.]
Huh? When was that decreed? Why am I the last to know? Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Forgive my ignorance, by beloved, enchanted, wise and ruggedly handsome King Roquat.
And please accept this gift as a token of our knowledge of your supreme awesomeness.
Huh? [ALL EXCLAIMING.]
[WHISPERING.]
Scarecrow.
Scarecrow? Can you sniff him out, boy? [SNIFFING.]
Hm? [GAGGING.]
What else does it do? Uh, what do you mean? I'm sorry, was I not clear? What else does it do? Wh Uh - Scarecrow.
- Dorothy.
Toto.
Oh.
I thought I was gonna have to go on without you.
Forget the gnome dance, Scarecrow.
We've gotta set sail now.
KING: By the "duh" look on your face, I'm starting to think that it really is just a flag.
How long am I supposed to be entertained by a flag? Uh, my king, you specifically asked for an eternally waving banner.
A banner that waves.
Without wind.
For the still season.
The still season? Dorothy, I just remembered something horribly inconvenient.
Yeah, Xandort told me.
No wind after tonight.
I got it.
Let's go.
But, my king, you asked for an object that didn't exist, and now there's one one in all the fairylands.
At sundown, you will have the only banner still waving in the entire deadly desert.
That was a smart move putting my face on it, but, yep, there it is.
Boring! I'm bored.
Send it to the dump.
[SIGHING.]
Oh, and there's a space right here in the gallery of ornaments for What did you say her name was? [GRUNTING.]
Uh, but Your Majesty B-b-b But Your Majesty? Now there's a stupid name.
[GRUNTING.]
[GASPING.]
[LAUGHING.]
We've gotta get out of here.
[GASPING.]
Ah, the entertainment.
- You've got to be kidding me.
- [WHIMPERING.]
I hope you've been rehearsing.
Tonight's audience is unforgiving.
KING: Hah! Hah! Hah! Ooh.
[LAUGHING.]
[GASPS.]
GLINDA: Remember to breathe.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
OJO: Uh, remember to focus.
[GRUNTING.]
Good, West.
Your fedosforus skills are really coming along.
Now, bring him down.
Gently this time.
[WHIMPERING.]
Good, West.
Now, try without the elements.
Release the magic within you.
Ah.
[WHIMPERS.]
[INHALES.]
[EXHALES.]
Release the levitational magic, okay? Not the explode-y stuff.
The float-y, peaceful stuff.
[GRUNTING.]
[STRAINING.]
Breathe, West.
- [GRUNTING.]
- Always breathe.
[GASPING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[PANTING.]
You did it, West! You totally almost did it! [DEEP BREATH.]
That was the closest you've come.
You must have felt it.
All I feel is exhausted.
Frustrated.
Embarrassed.
Hey, don't stop now.
What else you got? Hopeless? Angry? Delusional? You tried something new.
You gave it everything you've got.
And it wasn't good enough.
You came up short.
You failed.
Is this supposed to pump me up? All the greatest magical minds of Oz failed.
Ozma, the wizard, Blinky of Jinxland, and at the risk of immodesty, me.
You failed? Ugh! Spectacularly.
We all failed.
We felt ashamed, embarrassed, delusional.
Each of us wanted to give up.
But you didn't.
No.
Because when you finally give the world a new magic, richer than anything that's come before, all those failures fade away.
But real triumph, that stays with you forever.
My beloved, enchanted, wise and ruggedly handsome King Roquat, since the day you were chiseled from the sacred ore, I have served you with honor.
But, alas, in Emerald City, I failed you.
Is there a gift in this speech somewhere? As a symbol of my pledge to retrieve your magic, and win back your good grace, may I present your Emerald enemies! Let's just get this right and get out of here fast.
Maybe we can still catch the wind.
[MAN VOCALIZING.]
Ahh.
[GROANS.]
[GASPING.]
[GROANING.]
Ahh, yes.
Something's not right.
I don't understand it.
I stomped the shuffle switch thump first try.
We have to do something, or we'll be the next ornaments on that shelf.
Oh, why did they do the Gnome Diggy Dome? Scarecrow, Guph set us up to fail.
[LAUGHING.]
How many times do I have to decree? I'm not supposed to hear the same song more than twice.
Now it'll be stuck in my head for days! - [SCREAMING.]
- [WHIMPERING.]
Ahh.
- Ugh! - [GASPING.]
And Guph, you brought my enemies into my kingdom, you made them perform a dance I despise - to a song I hate.
- [WHIMPERING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Guphy, my gnome.
You really do know me.
Ornamentizing these Emeraldos is gonna be so satisfying.
- DOROTHY: Wait! - [GASPS.]
Before you turn us into toys, may we present our birthday gift? Our gift? [GRUNTING.]
I promise you've never heard this one before.
[METAL CLANKING.]
Follow my lead.
Huh? Ahh.
Hmm.
[RHYTHMIC TAPPING.]
He rocks in the treetops all day long Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singin' his song All the little birdies on Jaybird Street Love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet Rockin' robin - Tweet, tweet, tweet - [RHYTHMIC BARKING.]
Rockin' robin Tweet, tweetle-lee-tweet Every little swallow, ever chick-a-dee Every little bird in the tall oak tree The wise old owl, the big black crow Flappin' their wings singing go, bird, go Rockin' robin - Tweet, tweet, tweet - [RHYTHMIC BARKING.]
Rockin' robin, tweet Tweetle-lee-tweet Go rockin' robin 'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight? [EVIL LAUGH.]
Tweet! Tweetle-lee-tweet! [GASPING.]
Rockin' Roquat Tweet, tweet, tweet ALL: Rockin' Roquat, tweet, tweetle-lee-tweet Go Rockin' Roquat 'cause we're really gonna rock tonight Tweet Tweetle-lee-tweet [CHEERING.]
[GROANING.]
DOROTHY: Thank you, gnome kingdom.
Goodnight! Let's go.
Where do you think you're going? It's cake time, chumps.
Someone out back scavenging for some cake moss? Let's go, gnomes! We have to find a way out of here.
The wind is dying, and this kid is totally freaking me out.
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, my beloved, enchanted Wise and ruggedly handsome King Roquat Happy birthday to you [WHIMPERING.]
[SNIFFING.]
I bet you don't have cake like this in Emerald City.
I bet cake in Emerald City is disgusting.
[GROANING.]
What's up, Guph? Afraid I like your gifts more than I like you? [CHUCKLES.]
I always stand beside you at cake time.
You tell me your wish, and I make sure you get it.
I'm the king of the gnomes, Guphy.
I don't make wishes, I give orders.
And this year I order that the Emeraldos be appointed my new best friends forever! ALL: What? Uh, my king, this is highly unusual.
Go on, give 'em the oath.
[GROANING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
As King Roquat's new BFFs, you shall remain by his side at all times, laugh at his jokes, tell him what he wants to hear, and give him anything of yours he finds remotely interesting.
[WHISPERS.]
Until the little twerp gets bored, and turns you into ornaments.
What just happened? I think we just made a new friend.
[WIND BLOWING.]
Did you hear that? The last gasp of the breezy season.
Right on time.
[SCOFFS.]
Like I'm gonna blow out my own candles.
[WIND BLOWING.]
Wh whoa, whoa, whoa! [WHIMPERING.]
We missed it.
We're stuck.
WEST: I don't get it.
The last time I was here, I conjured magic out of thin air.
Without even trying.
Without knowing it was even possible.
And when I dreamt about it, I nearly burned down my apartment.
But now that I'm actually trying I mean, what am I missing here? - GLINDA: Maybe it's Dorothy.
- [GASPING.]
She was with me when we faced Langwidere.
I remember.
She took your hand and Magic was just there.
What about the dream? Dorothy was in your dream, too, wasn't she? I can't believe I'm about to say this, but could the missing magical element be Dorothy? [WHIMPERING.]
Without wind, we'll never make it back to Emerald City.
I can't believe it, Toto.
Now we have two homes we'll never see again.
Oh, well, you've still got us, Dorothy.
[WIND BLOWING.]
[PAGES RUSTLING.]
Ooh.
Ooh.
Scarecrow, we don't need the wind.
We have our own.
[GASPING.]
Ooh, nice grab, Toto.
[WIND BLOWING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Scarecrow! [SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING, GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Scarecrow! Scarecrow, are you okay? [BLUBBERING.]
All good.
- Helps to be made of straw.
- [LAUGHING.]
That was hilarious.
- Do it again.
- No.
He could have gotten hurt.
No.
N No.
I don't recall ever hearing that word.
Not sure what it means.
Now, do it again, straw man, or I could use a new ornament.
[TOTO GROWLS, BARKS.]
Ahh! I left my scepter on the throne.
Don't you just hate that? I feel so naked.
If you really want a friend, this isn't how you should treat people.
But trying to steal my gifts? Maybe that's acceptable friend behavior in Emerald City.
I'm from Kansas! And what do you care, anyway? You threw that banner out.
It was "boring.
" Remember? Well, it's still mine, and so are you.
Wh whoa, whoa, whoa.
[GRUNTING.]
[GASPING.]
Hmph.
GUPH: The king must never know what we discuss here tonight.
Looks like Guph's already planning my next party.
[SCOFFS.]
Such a kiss up.
Emerald City was built on the backs of gnomes.
Gnomes mined the magic that made that city, while the Emerald citizens look down their noses at us.
He can't do that.
That's my throne.
I'm the king.
I think you might want to hang back a second here, King.
My army.
You sure about that? [GASPING.]
Now our mines are nearly bare.
We need our magic back.
And what does our beloved, enchanted, wise, and ruggedly ugly king do? He squanders the magic reserve.
He plays with toys rather than lead his people.
He keeps you living in fear, and has slumber parties with your enemies.
- My scepter! - Shh.
Gnomes deserve a better life.
You deserve a better king.
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
Tonight will be Roquat's last as king of the gnomes! [GRUNTING.]
Guph turned everyone against me.
You have to help me.
I don't have to do anything for you.
You're a bully, you're cruel and we are not friends.
[GASPING.]
[SIGHS.]
But I have a boat, and you have the wind.
[GRUNTING.]
Come on, Roquat, push.
I have people to do this for me.
Not if we're gonna keep this a secret escape.
[GRUNTING.]
- [GASPING.]
- Wha Who? Xandort? General Guph is looking for you.
Uh You better hurry.
Hop on, Dorothy.
I gotcha.
Thank you, Xandort.
[GRUNTING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- Bye! - DOROTHY: Bye, Xandort! - Good luck.
[SCREAMING.]
Hold on! [GRUNTING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- SCARECROW: Whoa, here we go! Woo-hoo! - [HOWLING.]
- Oh! DOROTHY: Now, which way to Emerald City?
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