Mad Men s02e03 Episode Script

It's smooth, it's brown.
Now, Sinatra drinks it.
Why shouldn't you? This bulging? No.
Can you get somebody to clean up the loose chips on the bar? It's messy.
And if I decide I want to spill some during the bit, it's not going to be funny if there's already some there.
Going again.
Rolling.
Sound, speed.
"Utz Are Better Than Nuts" bar scene, take 6.
Action.
Imagine my horror when a night on the town turned ugly.
This is a nice place for nice people, and the jerk behind the bar, he throws a bowl of nuts at me.
What am I, a squirrel? Well, lucky for him, I bring my own wherever I go.
Am I crazy? I don't think so.
Just you try and stick your face into a can of nuts.
Take it from a nut.
Utz are better than nuts.
Don't cut.
No.
I want to do that again.
Roll the camera over that way 5 feet and come in around the lapels.
Quiet, please.
Still rolling.
Just try sticking your face into a can of nuts.
Here we are in Lakehurst, New Jersey, watching as the great airship Hindenburg attempts to tie off its mooring mast and Oh, my God! She suddenly burst into flames! Oh, God! Look at the size of it! It's horrible! Oh, the humanity! Hey, get Sitting Bull on the phone.
We found the last buffalo.
Hey, get a wider lens, right? We want to shoot her in CinemaFat.
Hey, Jimmy, what do you say we take a little break? Open your mouth, sweetheart.
I want to see if Gepetto's building a fire in there.
That man is an animal.
Jesus, Jimmy.
Just for your information, this guy's laughing over here.
Are you going right home? No.
I have marketing.
I have to pick up Don's watch.
- You bought Don a watch? - I got it repaired.
He was bathing the kids with it.
I've been looking for one for Raymond.
- We're coming up on 10, you know.
- 10? Poor man has to think of something for the girl who has everything.
Did you make any suggestions? I do love your car.
That's not romantic.
Did you hear the part where I said 10 years? I shouldn't be saying that.
He looks like a little boy.
I guess.
He reminds me of Monty Clift in A Place in the Sun, learning how to ride so he can worm his way into the upper crust.
Somewhere there's a pregnant girl floating in a lake.
I'm from the South.
There are such people.
I think he needs a different horse.
He's on the worst one we have.
I apologize.
I knew it would be a challenge, or I would have done it myself.
Thank you, Gertie.
You have to admit he is handsome.
He's got that going for him.
Shall we? I have to get my purse.
No.
You're not going anywhere.
We have to meet her.
Mrs.
Draper, Mrs.
Carson, this is Tara Montague, my fiancée.
Sarah Beth Carson.
Betty Draper.
You must be the ladies he rides with.
We're among them.
Artie, are you the rooster around here? I think they make fun of me.
We don't.
That would be cruel.
Well, I've done plenty of things for him.
And I'd love to continue doing so.
Pleased to meet you.
She's pretty.
Very pretty.
Prettier than I expected.
I think she's about right.
I spend too much time here.
I actually dreamt about him.
I think it was him, or a version of him that could ride.
I'll see you Saturday.
No.
You'll have him to yourself on Saturday.
Becky has a dance recital.
It's so horrible to put girls that fat in a leotard.
Stop.
She'll outgrow it.
She did.
Happy Thursday, Mr.
Crane.
Thank you.
You've never opened one of these, have you? Hey, Todd.
Yes, Mr.
Crane? Nothing.
Get the door, will you? Damn it.
Whoa.
You in the middle of something? We're going to the Oyster Bar.
Yeah.
I'm not hungry.
Hello.
Good.
You are home.
Never got any better.
I almost threw up waiting for our elevator and then just came back and got undressed.
Sorry.
But aren't you sweet to call and check up on me.
Harry? Harry? What's wrong? You told me you wanted me to tell me if I was upset.
What did I do? Oh, no, honey.
No, it's nothing.
You do sound upset.
Something is wrong.
Harry, do I want to hear this? Would you stop? Let me talk? Okay.
Were you fired? I accidentally opened Ken Cosgrove's paycheck.
So? What's he gonna care? Tampering with the U.
S.
Mail? He makes 300 a week.
What? That mannequin makes $300 a week? He's not married.
We have one on the way.
I hate this place.
I should quit.
That's your response? The hours you work? Forget about Kenny.
If they have that much money to spend, they should spend it on you.
You're making that place.
I don't know about that.
What are you worth? You go in there and ask for it.
Demand it.
Be polite, but think about what you're worth to them.
No.
No, I can't do that.
I didn't know this was about you feeling sorry for yourself.
I'm hanging up.
Do you know where I can get a number 10 envelope with a windowpane and a green stripe on the side? No.
I need to lay down.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, feel better.
Do you have a number 10 envelope with a windowpane? No.
Why? Can you make one? No.
Why? Can you fix this one? Make it so it can look unopened? You need a fake passport, too? I got Ken Cosgrove's paycheck by mistake.
I opened it.
How did that happen? A mistake.
Well, just throw it away.
He'll ask for it by the end of the day, and they'll cut him a new one.
Don't throw it away here, though.
People go through the trash.
Of course.
Are you upset about getting caught? Or are you upset about what you saw? I don't know if this would mean much to you.
It's 300 a week before taxes.
We're married.
I have a baby due in August.
You know what Jennifer said? She thinks that I should just go in and demand a raise.
You told your wife about this? I know.
I do that.
I keep doing it.
- I didn't know what to do.
- There's nothing you can do.
That's why you don't tell your wife.
Wish you hadn't told me.
I think she's right.
But isn't Media a meritocracy? You think that? What's that supposed to mean, anyway? I have plenty of merit.
Merit defined within reason.
As in this place can't run without you? Well, how the hell do I do that? Then you're worth every penny they're paying you.
Thanks, Sal.
Mr.
Draper, Mr.
Sterling and Ben Cosgrove are here to see you.
Ken.
Bad news.
So bad I don't feel like telling you.
Cosgrove.
We were shooting Jimmy Barrett for Utz, and Don't pussyfoot around.
Just tell him.
I'm trying to tell him.
- Give me a cigarette.
- Yes, sir.
Why don't you get your own? We have a whole storeroom full of Luckys.
Because I don't smoke.
Mr.
And Mrs.
Schilling made a surprise visit to the set, and they got the full Jimmy Barrett treatment.
Mr.
Rumsen's coming in.
I don't care that you drink, Freddie, - but it's interfering with your job.
- Whoa.
Only an idiot would put Jimmy Barrett in a room with her.
No visits.
How bad was it? He called her the Hindenburg.
And he said something about the whale in Pinocchio.
Did you laugh in front of the Schillings? Of course not.
I was mortified.
You know, my mother's heavyset.
I stopped it right away.
So what we're dealing with here is you failed to control Jimmy Barrett, and you failed to control Mr.
And Mrs.
Utz, so maybe both of you aren't suited for these tasks.
- Mr.
Phillips is here.
- Perfect.
Utz is gonna lose Jimmy, and we're going to lose Utz.
Oh, God.
I miss the '50s.
Has anyone tried to save this yet besides Leopold and Loeb over here? Can't get the Schillings on the phone.
Someone needs to talk to Jimmy.
Well, I'm sure he'll feel real bad about it tonight and give her a call.
Don, can you work him over? Jimmy Barrett is a known quantity.
Don's going to fix it.
He knows what that nut means to Utz and what Utz means to us.
Fix what, exactly? Fix this mess that was made because Freddie got him drunk.
Come on.
Cosgrove should have told me they were here.
I would have never let her near that set.
I did.
I told Lois.
I took them by here, but you were out.
I'm going to talk to the Schillings, then I'm going to explain the facts of life to Jimmy.
That'll work.
A guy like that must know how to make a charming apology, or he'd be dead.
Where were you? At the printer's.
You should tell your girl that.
Lois.
Close the door.
Sit down.
No.
Stand.
I'd like to find a way not to be cruel, but I don't think it'd be serving either one of us.
Are you firing me? Oh, no.
It's nice to see that you care about something.
Are you trying to think of what you can possibly say to make up for what's happened here? What happened? I think you're not suited for this job.
What did I do? In addition to being incompetent, you threatened my reputation, and not just today.
Mr.
Draper, I try to cover for you all the time.
You do not cover for me.
You manage people's expectations.
Can you be more specific? You really want that? No, I guess not.
You're not suited for this job.
It's not an insult.
It's just the way it is.
Stick to the switchboard.
Please tell Miss Holloway on your way out.
Yes, Mr.
Draper.
Is there something due tomorrow I don't know about? No.
Already finding ways not to go home, are we? Edgar Fladen, CBS, please.
- Hello.
- Flatty.
Harry Crane.
How are you? Still at work, same as you.
How you like it over there? Did Sterling Coo lose some of its drunken luster? I don't know.
I was thinking maybe I have to move out to move up.
Well, forget about here.
They're picking us off.
I'm one gone paleface.
Well, thought I'd ask.
Keep your ear to the ground for me, will you? - It doesn't have to be there.
- Hey, how about some concern? I just lost Lever Brothers and Kimberly Clark from one of my biggest shows.
We're lousy with sponsors over here.
What do you need? Don't get excited.
Sponsors drop out for a reason.
Not always.
Okay.
Try this on.
The Defenders.
Top 20 show.
E.
G.
Marshall, Bob Reed.
Lawyers, but, you know, they really care.
So the writers turn in this script about a cannibal.
A cannibal lawyer? The director eats up all this time refusing to do it, like his résumé isn't filled with crap, and surprise, the writers have only one other script ready something we threw away last year because they used the word "abortion" Why? Because they show one, opening scene.
Exactly.
The whole thing was a ploy to get us to shoot it.
They think they're so clever.
I tell you, I miss the blacklist.
Send it over.
I want to see it.
I'm sure.
It's going on the air, sponsor or no.
I'll watch it with you in the bar where I'll be working.
Send it over.
Let me see what I can do.
All right.
Miss Holloway, good morning.
I will be taking care of you while we search for a suitable candidate.
I am really sorry about that.
Did she leave everything in a condition you can follow? Perhaps if you were involved in the selection.
What can I tell? I'll just continue looking for another Miss Olson.
No.
I want someone who'll be happy with that job.
Well, for the time being, that's me.
How about a cup of coffee? I think I remember how you take it.
Sure.
Is Jimmy Barrett shooting today? Yes.
At EUE.
What time do they start? They were supposed to start this morning, but Mr.
Barrett's been showing up around 4.
Wake me at 3:30.
We'll start with your correspondence.
Did you go to that office for the purpose of obtaining an illegal operation? Yes.
Were you pregnant? Yes.
Then you went to Dr.
Montgomery for an abortion.
Yes.
Was the abortion performed? Just a moment.
Mr.
Preston, aren't you going to object? The witness is not a qualified medical expert.
The defense is willing to concede that an operation was performed on Miss Stafford, which resulted in the termination of a pregnancy.
Very well.
You may proceed.
Come here a lot, do you? Not if everything's running smoothly.
So buy me a drink.
I think there's been plenty of drinking here.
Jimmy around? He left early.
Rehearsal at the Copa.
Forgot this.
Isn't that our tuxedo? He likes it better.
Great.
So let's go talk to him.
There's no reason for that.
Talk to his manager.
How can I help you? I'm sorry.
In the pitch, you were introduced as his wife.
Would you prefer I pretend to be his sister, like I did in the old days? Wife, manager, someone should have kept a lid on him yesterday.
I've seen the man sober.
He's not funny.
- Mrs.
Barrett - Bobbie.
He can come in here with vomit in his pockets for all I care, but these people are his benefactors.
Like the Medicis of Florence, they're patrons of his art.
Mr.
And Mrs.
Utz.
I want you to imagine something that Jimmy obviously can't.
The Schillings were very excited to see their favorite comedian.
Then they know that being picked on by Jimmy Barrett is a compliment.
No one was laughing.
That's not what I heard.
I'll tell you what.
They're in the big city for the weekend.
Why don't they just go out and buy a thicker skin? You are aware that all of this can go away.
No more free tuxedos? We have a contract.
Tell Jimmy I need to talk to him.
You? Jimmy doesn't have a lot of patience for business or for businessmen.
In fact, I'm pretty sure he already hates you.
Really? Some glib ad man in that suit, cigarette perfectly in hand, not a hair out of place, here to tell him he's been a bad boy? Well, he has been.
So what do you suggest I do? Well he has to know that you're a fan and that he knows more than you and that he's got a shot with your wife.
Girlfriend? Both? Wife.
So who's gonna have a talk with him, you or me? Neither of us.
I have to go.
Let me drive you over.
Give up, will you? It's raining.
What's that? Hail.
I don't want to do this.
Doesn't feel that way.
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
Hey, you.
How was work? Fine.
Can I ask Daddy? What do you want? I'm fine.
You can ask him, but he's not gonna disagree with me.
Ask me what? Can we go riding with Mommy on Saturday? No.
There are just gonna be mommies there.
I'll need you to watch them.
- It's a couple of hours.
- Okay.
But she promised.
"She"? Not this Saturday.
It didn't work out.
You can ride me around the den.
I picked up your watch.
Good as new.
Open it.
I got it monogrammed.
Wow, Bets.
Thank you.
What are you doing? I think she's out of gas.
Thought I'd fill her up.
They feed them in the barn.
You're ruining that horse for whoever has her next.
I want it on record.
She was ruined when I got to her.
Just pull up on the reins.
Straighten her out.
You can't let her do that.
You don't for a minute think you might be hurting her? She needs to be told what to do.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not afraid, but I am curious why I'm riding Nehi and you've got Copenhagen.
Some horses have better names.
Where's your girl friend, Mrs.
Carson? Her daughter has a ballet recital.
I'm really not afraid, you know? I've just always been more comfortable with animals when they were on the other end of my rifle.
That's a terrible attitude.
It is, and I've tried to explain it to Tara, but she won't listen.
All the men in her family ride like this.
They also don't work, so maybe I'm wrong about it.
I should go warm him up.
Tally-ho.
I'll be right back.
Hello.
Hello.
It's Don Draper.
Can you talk? I'm glad you called.
How are you? Weren't you afraid you'd get Jimmy? No.
I wanted to invite you both to dinner.
Monday night.
A command performance.
I was thinking Lutèce.
It will be formal.
Can you get him there? I told you.
He does whatever I say.
Keep it small.
My wife, the Schillings, you.
Okay.
If that's what you want.
What do you want? So it's that kind of phone call, is it? Where are you? In my home.
With my children.
Really? I like being bad and then going home and being good.
I'll see you Monday.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Did you have a nice ride? Don't smoke in here.
They hate it.
I don't know.
Place burns down, I could give this up.
I assume you're trying to be funny, but most of the people who ride Hold on.
Mrs.
Draper, I'm so sorry.
That's not what I meant.
Just because you don't know what you're doing doesn't mean the rest of us are silly.
I apologize.
Girls and their horses.
I can't figure you out.
Why would you want to do that? When Tara came to visit, I could tell she was jealous.
Of your two old lady friends.
She certainly seems like a girl who has everything.
She does.
When she was at Wellesley, she came for a couple of weekends to New Haven.
I remember those.
So exciting.
We got into a kind of pattern where there'd be a warm reunion, a football game, and some kind of obscure argument.
You know, I would soothe and she would pout.
You know, Mr.
Case, having been married for some time, I can tell you your fiancée would be very unhappy with you sharing this with a stranger.
Arthur.
I don't know why I brought that up.
I guess I just remembered going home with her that first time.
Pulling off the Merritt Parkway and hitting this long, private road.
You know that Scott Fitzgerald story, A Diamond as Big as the Ritz? No.
Her house is a slightly smaller version of my high school.
And I realized why she was so happy all the time and why she was so angry when she didn't get what she wanted.
All girls are like that.
- You aren't.
- You don't know that.
You are so beautiful.
Thank you.
So different than Tara.
Tara is very beautiful.
You know that.
She doesn't need anything.
What she does need, anyone can get her.
You're nervous about getting married.
You'll see.
You don't know what she'll mean to you.
But I think about you.
Why would you do that? Arthur, I like being around you.
Don't say anything to ruin that.
You're so profoundly sad.
No.
It's just my people are Nordic.
Don't do that.
Don't tell me what to do.
You're so profoundly sad.
You're wrong.
I'm grateful.
Hey.
How was it? I'm sorry I'm late.
Thank you for watching them.
Come in here.
I should get cleaned up.
I don't care.
Listen.
How do you feel about Lutèce Monday night? Lutèce? Pleased, I guess.
And you get to meet Jimmy Barrett.
Why? Business.
Hunt Schilling from Utz Potato Chips and wives.
Is this one where I talk or I don't talk? You need to charm him.
I need you to be shiny and bright.
I need a better half.
Monday night.
You have plans? I'll have to find something to wear.
It's no notice.
No notice at all.
Birdie, we'll go there alone another time.
What is it? What is it? What's this got to do with you? "He helped me," says Sam.
Is this you? They're writing this about you? Answer me! Are you mixed up in this? - Answer me! - Mr.
Mason.
You keep out of this! Sandra Mason.
I was reading about this.
I was thanking God that my daughter wasn't the kind of a girl that was would be mixed up in anything ugly like this.
Please, Daddy, don't.
I was even feeling sorry for the parents of the girls who were involved.
- Please.
Please.
- Please? You have to have an illegitimate child taken away from you by some filthy doctor! Mr.
Mason! You get out of my house! I do want to see the rest of this, but I get the idea.
Then behave as though you Top 20 show, prime time, for pennies on the dollar.
And it's the perfect match for Belle Jolie lipstick.
Really? How does that work? Controversy means viewers.
Women will find a way to watch this.
Maybe just because they don't want to get left out.
Is that true? There's no doubt in my mind.
We can talk to them about putting on a warning.
Research shows rules are made to be broken.
Thanks, Ken.
He has the research.
This discussion, it's uncomfortable.
This show is troubling.
It's catharsis.
That's hard to come by.
What is better than tears to make a girl ready to hear she can be beautiful? I'd love to see a spike.
But what do I do when Hugh Brody asks what the hell this is? Belle Jolie is a family company.
This is not wholesome.
There are limits to what you can get out of daytime.
I don't want Belle Jolie to be part of this debate.
So you think girls who buy lipstick aren't gonna be interested in this? I don't care where they stand.
So it's political.
Politics are in.
Women will be watching.
Young women.
I'm sorry.
Well, we thought you should know about it.
I have to say I'm very impressed you brought this to us.
I wish we were a different kind of company.
We all work for someone.
It was a pleasure.
How's it going? Very well, thank you.
You said you wanted to see me? Yes, I did.
You're Harry Crane, right? Yes, I am.
Certain things have come to my attention.
Oh, no.
I heard about it third-hand, and I thought it sounded reckless, so I talked to Mr.
Cooper.
Mr.
Cooper knows about this? I think someone told on you.
And it backfired.
- Mitch.
- Doesn't matter.
Cooper thought it showed initiative.
So you're in here now.
I'm smiling.
What do you want? Well I guess, for one thing, I think that we should have a television department.
All the other agencies have them.
And I think I should run it.
You're now the head of the Television Department, which is comprised solely of you.
Anything else? Well, actually I think I deserve a raise.
And I think you've already received a sizable reward.
Let's not get greedy.
I'm not being greedy.
Are you arguing with me? How much do you make? - $200 a week.
- Plus drinks.
Give me a number.
How about 310? No one makes that around here.
Not even close.
How about two and a quarter? Say yes.
Yes.
I'll throw in new business cards.
You drive a hell of a bargain.
So I finally told them that we really enjoyed visiting, but we'd rather stay in a hotel.
Made my daughter-in-law happier.
Luckily, we're a long way from those problems.
Although, I do love the idea of Bobby and Sally having apartments and families.
Where is he? Who? Jimmy Barrett.
I No, Hunt.
I don't think that would be a good idea.
Edith, please.
He wants to apologize.
Oh, dear.
Well, he certainly picked a nice place.
Hello, everybody.
Sorry we're late, but one of us likes to make an entrance.
Hello.
Bobbie Barrett.
Pleasure.
- We've met before.
- I remember.
Mr.
Draper.
This is my wife Betty.
Betty, this is Bobbie and Jimmy Barrett.
Oh, my.
I am such a fan.
You know, when you imagine someone saying that to you, you always hope it's her.
And this one.
My God.
Are you two sold separately? Look, it's JFK.
And you're not Jackie, but you're definitely his type.
I've met him.
Nice to see you again, Jimmy.
You remember Hunt and Edith Schilling.
How could I forget? They bought me a car.
A pleasure as always.
And the little lady.
Look at you, all dolled up.
So, what do you do, sweetheart? I want to know everything.
I'm a housewife.
I bet little birds hang up your laundry.
And we have a little boy and a little girl.
Is that everything? Or you want to let my imagination run wild? By the way, I loved you in Gentleman's Agreement.
Good evening, mesdames et messieurs.
The chef has prepared many spécialités which I will have the pleasure of Just a minute, Monsieur Le Pew.
Any chance we can get a drink order filled? Sorry, everybody, but Jimmy's down a quart.
Two Johnnie Walkers, rocks.
Bobbie, you want anything? Dubonnet with a twist.
And make it fast, while this place is still French.
I hope you all like spit in your food.
Come on.
I come here all the time.
Now, I have a few key questions for Mrs.
America.
Remember, Betsy, everything's riding on this.
So really, what fills your days? Eating bonbons? Hitting tennis balls with the needy? Actually, I spend a lot of my time riding horses.
It's really a passion for me.
And for them, I bet.
So, big horses? Give me an education.
- You don't want to hear about this.
- No, I do.
Is it the beauty pageant thing where they walk in little bitty steps? I'll be right back.
No.
That's dressage.
I knew that.
It's the same kind of saddle, but I do jumping.
You two do any jumping? I'm sorry.
Can you excuse me a moment? All this talk about horses? What, are you expecting a Chinese baby? I don't know what it is, but one thing I know is it's not Chinese.
We're both very proud of you.
Well, good.
Because a 121/2% raise is nothing to sneeze at.
I don't care about the money.
Well the money's nice.
I just can't wait to go into the phone company tomorrow and tell the girls that my husband is the head of television at Sterling Cooper.
Do you feel well enough to go in? Because you don't have to.
You're sweet.
What did you do? Well, I took this TV show that no one wanted to sponsor, and I told one of our clients about it.
And you sold it? No, but everyone was impressed that I recognized the opportunity.
What's the show? Just some show.
You wouldn't like it.
You look great.
Do I? I'm not feeling great.
Why not? I'm gonna be brief because I don't like leaving him alone out there.
They're loving it.
They're being polite.
The window for this apology is closing.
It needs to happen before the appetizers, or they will leave.
Really? Because I was thinking about that, so I took a look at Jimmy's contract well, me and a lawyer and I realized Jimmy doesn't have to apologize at all.
In fact, they're gonna have to pay him, even if they fire him, especially because hurt feelings isn't a very good reason.
So what is this all about? I think an apology, and a public one like this one, has to be worth $25,000.
And I want it in the paper.
Say it's a bonus.
Believe me, I will ruin him.
Do what I say.
- Don't get up.
- I wasn't gonna.
But this one knows about horses.
Who knows? I've been spending the whole time watching her lips move.
Well, I hope we haven't ordered yet because there really is something that we need to get out of the way.
He's picking up the check.
I mean, there's really no debate, is there? Mr.
And Mrs.
Schilling, Jimmy has something that he'd like to say to you.
Honestly, I'd rather eat your chips than anything in this dump.
They have snails here, you know.
That's nice to hear.
Mrs.
Schilling Edith I was out of line the other day.
I shouldn't have said it to you, and not just 'cause you're married to him.
I shouldn't have said it to anybody, not in that environment.
Sweetheart, look at me.
You, too, Hunt.
Can I call you Hunt? There's the guy under the lights, and there's me.
He's made me rich, but he hasn't made me very nice.
I hope we can put it behind us.
I know that's what you do.
I guess I just don't have the stomach for it.
Well, I'm famished.
Excuse me.
Bets, you all right? Yes.
What's wrong? Nothing.
Nothing's wrong.
I'm just so happy.
When I said I wanted to be a part of your life this is what I meant.
We make a great team.
Subtitled By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA