Magnum, P.I. (1980) s02e03 Episode Script

(Clears throat) Clay? Clay.
Oh.
(Laughs) Oh, Clay ! You know, Clay, sometimes you can be an absolute child.
Clay? Oh ! Agh ! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
(Door creaks) Oh, no.
Clay ! Clay.
Clay, help me ! No, no ! (Screams) (Strangled groaning) Hey, TC, where's Rick? And what smells so good? - Navarin aux pommes.
- Yeah.
That's lamb, baby.
Yeah.
For me and my date.
Rick, you have to break your date.
I got paid.
We're gonna celebrate.
- Sorry, Thomas.
- No, Rick, this is special.
The Red Light Club.
You know the act there? Sorry.
TC, I don't think he heard me.
Rick, I'm talking about the Red Light Club.
The one the vice cops close every couple of months.
Hey, I'm with you, TM.
Look, I know there was a time when an offer like that would have interested me but those days are gone.
I want more out of life than booze and one-night stands.
- Why? - Because in just a little while, a woman who I'm very in love with is about to walk right through that door.
Really? Who? Her name is Janice Cooper.
I met her right here at the club.
That's great.
I didn't even know about it, Rick.
When? Two days ago.
(They laugh) Two days ago, and you're seriously in love with her? Hey.
When it's right, it's right.
(They hoot with laughter) Don't you guys have anywhere to go? Now wait a minute.
Rick, if this girl is so special, I want to meet her.
Yeah, me too.
All right.
Five minutes.
Then both of you disappear.
(They laugh) I can't understand where she can be.
Maybe she got lost.
(Laughs) No, she's been here before.
I'm sorry, Rick.
Why don't you just give her a call? - 'Hello? ' - Janice? 'No, Lynn.
I'm house-sitting for her.
' - Where's Janice? - 'She's getting married.
' - Married? - 'Yeah.
' 'She cried for ever to Larry on Monday and today flies to Tahiti to get married.
- 'Isn't it the nuts? ' - Yeah, it's it's the nuts.
'Who should I say called? ' Tell her Rick called and I Just tell her that I Tell her Rick called and I wish her the best.
Poor guy.
Yeah.
Give me a plate, will you? Thanks.
Open the champagne.
Kemo, Scotch on the rocks, keep them coming and don't break the rhythm.
- And give me a cigarette.
- Rick, you quit.
I just started again.
Come on, come on.
Give me the cigarette.
Excuse me.
Are you a member of the club? No, I'm not.
But it was so lovely here, I - Forgive me, of course I'll leave.
- No, no.
Please don't leave.
Stay here and be my guest.
My name's Rick.
I manage the club.
What's your name? - My name is Sara.
- Sara.
Sara, I couldn't help but notice how upset you are.
Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all? That's very kind of you, Rick.
But there's really nothing anyone can do now.
Why don't you try me? I'm really a good listener.
It's hopeless.
Why don't er Why don't we take a walk on the beach? We could talk about it.
Trust me.
It's so beautiful.
I love the ocean.
It's so independent of us, of the world that we think is so important.
It's the one thing that lets me feel truly free.
- Why wouldn't you feel free? - It's really very simple.
There's a man who loves me and because I don't love him, he'll destroy me.
What man? His name is Henry Ellison.
The shipping magnate? He must be in his 60s.
- Oh, no.
Henry's very young.
Your age.
- Young or old, what's the difference? You don't need the aggravation.
Life's too short.
Go and do whatever you wanna do.
I wish I could be that way.
But that's the one great difference between us.
- Forgive me, it's the champagne.
- No, it's not.
Would you mind? Sure.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Sara, why don't we Sara.
Sara ! Agh ! I am hurt.
A plague on both your houses.
I am hurt.
A plague on both your houses.
(Groans) I am hurt.
A plague on both your houses.
I am sped.
Is he gone, and hath nothing? Higgins, what are you doing? Was your American education so lacking? That's Shakespeare.
Romeo And Juliet.
Act 3, Scene 1.
Of course.
I'm staging it for the Shakespeare Society.
I wanted to speak to you about it.
- I'd like your participation.
- Me? You want me to act? (Laughs) No.
I wouldn't dream of giving you lines.
We need supernumeraries.
- Super what? - Extras.
It was Lydia Shaftsbury's idea.
- The dizzy one who wears all the feathers? - Our patroness, yes.
- She thinks you'd look good in tights.
- Forget it, Higgins.
Mrs Shaftsbury's patronage is essential to our society.
Higgins.
No.
I'd consider letting you use the sauna.
Works wonders for a hangover.
Adieu, Higgins.
(Car horn tooting) Am I glad I caught you.
I need your help.
- What for? - I gotta find this woman.
Rick, she stood you up.
Leave it alone.
Not Janice.
Sara.
Sara? Who's Sara? Last night I met this woman.
We took a walk on the beach.
Next thing, she's gone.
Don't play games.
It's time for brunch.
I'm not playing games.
She's something special.
- You know after one night? - Pal, when it's right, it's right.
- Where have I heard that before? - Are you gonna help me or what? Ha.
Tell them to fill that hole on the way back.
I don't want any empty spaces.
Call me when the Merkel leaves Amsterdam.
I'm not in the habit of granting impromptu interviews to private investigators.
We appreciate that, Mr Ellison.
This should take a second.
We were looking for someone We thought you could help.
Her name is Sara.
I probably know a dozen.
She's about 25, dark hair, and very good-Iooking.
I'm afraid you gentlemen have made a mistake.
Now, most of my acquaintances are a generation older, at least.
Well, she mentioned you by name, sir.
Wait a minute.
That's her.
That's Sara.
- Is this your idea of a joke? - It's no joke, Mr Ellison.
- That's the woman I met on the beach.
- That's impossible.
Sara Clifford died 35 years ago.
Actually, things like this have happened before.
Several people who knew Sara say that they've seen her over the years.
The stories are always the same.
One moment she's there, the next she's gone.
Look, Mr Ellison, I didn't kiss a ghost last night.
No, I don't believe that you did.
What did the woman say about me? She said that you loved her and that you'd destroy her.
Well She was right about one thing.
I loved Sara.
When she died, something in me did, too.
I never married.
Never forgot.
Someone's playing a very cruel trick on me, or you.
I'm afraid this is all we have on Sara Clifford.
The society books and magazines of the summer of '45 are not on the shelves.
Thank you.
- Did somebody check them out? - No, they're reference materials.
They could have been stolen.
We do have a problem with that.
Has anyone else been doing research on Sara Clifford? Let's see.
Not recently.
Not that I know of.
There was a young woman about a year ago.
Some kind of relative.
Said that she was doing a book on the Clifford woman.
- Do you remember her name? - Hmm Do you keep any old records? Something that might have her name on it.
No.
She never checked anything out.
Did all of her work here.
- Can't you tell me anything about her? - She was pretty.
She was very pretty.
But I don't suppose that means anything to you.
Why would she think that? (Higgins) Sara Clifford.
I know a few things about her.
You know, Magnum, you tend to lack a sense of reciprocity, of give-and-take.
I've tried hard to accommodate your presence.
I think I've been a good sport.
- Yet when I ask a simple favour of you - Like what? Spending three hours a night in leotards just to please Lydia Shraftsburg? Lydia Shaftsbury.
Who single-handedly has kept the Shakespeare Society alive, thereby contributing immeasurably to the cultural life of Honolulu.
That seems to mean very little to you.
Very.
Evidently, so does this Sara Clifford business.
It was quite a scandal at the time, you know.
Of course, it was long before I came to Hawaii.
I was at the time, I think, in Kwangju, or was I already in Beirut? All right, Higgins, I'll do the play.
What I know has been pieced together from conversations with Ethel Schiller, a friend of the Cliffords.
Charming woman, good family, but plays a dreadful game of bridge.
Higgins, what about Sara? Oh.
She was simply the most beautiful woman in Honolulu society.
No man could meet her without falling in love.
Led to quite a few quarrels.
Even a duel.
After the war, the Cliffords suffered some sort of a disgrace.
They were ostracised from society.
I wouldn't imagine you'd understand that sort of thing, would you, Magnum? On the other hand, perhaps you would.
Anyway, Sara Clifford supposedly killed herself over it, although a lot of people found that hard to believe, didn't think she was the type.
Ethel Schiller believes it was because of some affaire de coeur.
- What? - Romance.
Of course.
She disappeared from her home during a party one night.
They found the car the next day in the waters off Koko Head.
She'd driven it over the cliff.
Never found the body, currents carried it out to sea.
There have been reports that she now haunts her old estate but I tend to disregard rumours of the nether world.
The nether world? - Have you grilled me sufficiently? - Yes, I think so, Higgins.
Family scandal, affaire de coeur, and links to the netherworld.
Thank you very much.
Oh, Magnum, by the by, our designer says you can try on your tights this afternoon.
'If any place looked like it should be haunted, it was the Clifford estate.
'The overgrowth and the cobwebs were all legit.
'Not that I was scared, but I did make a point of going in the daytime.
'If I believed in ghosts, I'm sure I'd be frightened by now.
'But since I didn't, the pounding in my chest must have been due to exertion.
' God ! Oh.
There you are.
- Hi, I'm Thomas.
- No.
Ooh.
It talks.
OK.
Would you mind telling me what's going on here? All right, I'll explain.
See, you're supposed to be dead.
But if you were alive, you'd be old enough to be my mother, which you're not, so would you tell me who you are and why you dress up like Gene Tierney? I'm Sara Clifford.
And I'm trying to set things right.
Set things right? Terrific, then we're after the same thing.
Can I help? - Do you mean that? - Of course I do.
What's set wrong? - He did kill me.
- Who? Henry Ellison.
Henry Ellison? OK.
Why didn't you call the police? Oh, I forgot.
The police don't believe in the nether world.
What did Henry do? Put you in the car and pushed you right off the cliff? No.
- He did it here.
- Here? Where? - Where did you get that? - What? This? SCI The potting shed.
He did it in the potting shed.
Whooo.
I am tired of these games, Sara, or whatever your Oh, come on ! Will you wait a minute? Come on.
Ooh ! Mein Hut, es hat drei Ecken, drei Ecken hat mein Hut.
Und hatt er nicht drei Ecken, so war es nicht mein Hut.
- Ah.
Congratulations, you're alive.
Good.
- Are you the one who hit me? - Huh? - Are you the one who hit me? (Shouts) Yes.
I am the one that hit you with the shovel.
Any particular reason? Any particular reason? Because I am the caretaker.
And you were trespassing.
- Why didn't you just call the police? - Hmm? - Why didn't you just call the police? - I heard you.
I have no phone here.
- I see.
- Here is your hat.
This is your lucky-day hat.
What are you doing here, anyway? Why didn't you ask me that before you swung? What? Why didn't you tell me that before you swung? I would have lost the advantage of surprise.
I see.
I'm trying to find out about Sara Clifford.
Did you see her today? I saw someone who said she was Sara.
It was Sara all right.
I saw her myself.
She has been coming out more lately.
Come here.
She is very lovely, is she not? Sara Clifford's dead.
Of course she's dead.
That's why she never changes.
I see.
What Have you worked for the Cliffords for a long time? The Cliffords, I have worked for them Would you help me up, please? Thank you.
I have worked for the Cliffords since the Anschluss.
What can you tell me about Sara? About how she died? Not very much, I'm afraid.
I was away.
The one you should talk to is Lisa Paige.
She was going to write about Sara.
That would be a very good book.
But it would also, unfortunately, be a very sad book.
Thank you, Josef.
I'll do that.
Lisa Paige.
It would be a good book, not trashy like the books you see.
I know, Josef, you told me that.
The next time that you come, try to let me know that you're coming to avoid the unpleasantness with the shovel on the head.
That would be best.
'I used a standard investigative technique to find Lisa Paige.
'I checked the phone book.
Actually, there were only a few listings.
'After a few dead ends, I hoped, for Rick's sake, this was the woman we wanted.
'Well, to be honest, for my own sake.
I just wanted to get him off my back.
' - What does this Lisa know about Sara? - I don't know.
- Well, why is she writing a book about her? - I don't know.
- Are you sure this is where this Lisa lives? - I don't know.
- Maybe - Rick ! Shh.
- You think Sara's here? - I don't know ! Sara.
- Pardon me? - It's me, Sara, Rick.
I'm sorry.
I don't know anybody named Rick.
Why are you lying? I don't know what you're talking about.
My name is Lisa Paige.
I'm sorry.
- You're Sara.
- Don't do that ! - I don't know what you are talking about.
- It's her.
Would you explain what's going on? - Are you writing a book on Sara Clifford? - Yes, I am.
Well, both of us have seen Sara Clifford.
Or someone who says she is.
That's very interesting.
Would you two please come in? This way, gentlemen.
Have you seen Sara more than once? - No.
- Once was all it took.
You She got to me.
- Got to you? - I was very upset and very alone and - She just got to me, that's all.
- I see.
- It's really a lousy trick - Rick, come on.
- Well, it's really lousy.
Do you think we could have a cup of coffee? No coffee.
All I have is tea.
Tea would be great.
Why don't you have a seat? - That's her.
That's her.
- Maybe.
- You saw her.
- I never saw her close.
If you don't stay calm, we won't be here long enough to find out if she is.
I hope you won't tell on me.
I plan to return those things.
- Why did you decide to write about her? - It's the kind of thing people like.
Beautiful, wealthy, young woman, tragic love affair, family scandal, suicide.
And a ghost.
Is that the only reason? No.
She was my aunt.
The man in this picture is Clayton Wright.
They were in love and they wanted to get married.
But she couldn't because of a family obligation.
Supposedly, Sara committed suicide.
Clayton never believed that And neither do I.
Unfortunately, he died a couple of years ago.
Did he have any idea who killed her? - He never said.
- Do you? Nothing to take to court.
Who knows? Maybe the murderer will show his hand.
After 35 years, I doubt it.
Unless someone forces it.
(Kettle whistles) Excuse me.
What are you doing? Rick.
Get out.
Get out.
- Why? - Get out ! I'll never fall in love again.
Never.
I wonder why she led me all over the estate.
What did I ever get from being in love? What? From the tennis courts to the hothouse to the potting shed.
I'll tell you what I got: Nothing.
Nothing but a lot of pain and heartache.
But I'll tell you something, pal.
I appreciate your help.
You found Sara, or Lisa, or whatever the hell she's calling herself now.
One thing's obvious, she doesn't give a damn about me.
Then that scarf, half in the ground, half out of it.
Don't try and make it easy on me.
I can take it.
I know it's over.
I really do.
I just don't care.
I don't care.
I wonder why she did that? What was it? It was one night, one walk on the beach in the moonlight.
One kiss.
- Boy, if I ever fall in again, they'll bury me.
- I think you're right.
Hi.
You doing anything this afternoon? He's the one in love.
What do I get out of this? Fresh air, exercise, hearty male companionship.
- I had enough of that in Nam.
- Why the potting shed? That's where the ghost disappeared.
- Ghost? - TC, will you keep your voice down? It's not a real ghost.
Lisa just dressed up like a ghost.
She dropped a scarf.
I figure that's where she wants me to dig for the body.
- Body? - TC, you don't have to dig.
You can stand guard while I reconnoitre.
- Stand guard? For what? - Josef.
The caretaker.
He's a bit eccentric.
Hey, if he's standing guard and you're reconnoitring, who's doing the digging? Psst ! Can't you dig any faster? - You wanna come down here and try? - Hey, lover boy, I ain't the one that's in love.
- (Screams) - He's coming.
He's coming.
Come on.
I wish that you were looking as well as the grapevines.
Guten Abend.
Watch that shovel, he uses it like a mace.
You watch it.
I ain't got nothing to say to the man.
better than you looked this afternoon.
Guys? Yes, you are, indeed.
Must be the fertiliser that I gave you for luncheon.
Maybe you should go out and say something to him.
- Guys.
- Maybe he'll just walk on by.
Guys ! Here.
You are all looking quite well this evening.
Will you be quiet? Mm.
It was strange seeing Sara's name in the papers after all those years.
Your name was in the paper, too.
How did you know where Sara was buried? I didn't.
Why did you tell that fellow that I was gonna hurt you, or rather, Sara? - How did you figure that it was me? - I didn't.
"Woman On The Beach.
" It's a bit over dramatic, don't you think? Perhaps.
You did a lot of work.
You look like her, you know.
You even move like her.
She refused me.
Even after I saved her father's precious reputation, still she wanted to run off with Clay.
I should've killed him, too.
Put it on.
Put it on.
'If Lisa was trying to flush the murderer out, she was doing a good job.
'Maybe too good.
' Sarah ! Damn.
Lisa ! Lisa ! Rick.
- Ellison was here.
- You don't think he'll kill her? We played here every weekend, even during the war.
You were very good.
I can't let you marry Clay.
But I I don't want to marry Clay.
I'm not that crazy.
Lisa.
no ! Oh ! Agh ! no ! (Screams) It's me, it's Rick.
Thomas, over here ! - Rick, you OK? - I'm OK.
I'm fine.
Come on, Higgie baby, cheer up.
- Yeah.
Have another drink.
- I don't want another drink.
You know, Magnum, you spend your life developing a craft, creative sensibilities, taste, only to have some Philistine crush you with a whim.
Come on, I thought she was What did you call it? Patroness? Lydia Shaftsbury is a vulgarian.
A Visigoth.
(Laughs) Whoever heard of playing Romeo And Juliet as Samoans? Sounds interesting to me.
- Got me off the hook.
- Yes, that's all you care about.
The play is universal.
It should work anywhere.
I am not staging Shakespeare in grass skirts and lava-lavas.
Good night.
Psst.
What's a vulgarian Visigoth? Be careful, please.
What are you doing here? What happened to the rehearsal? - Hey, Rick.
- Hey, TC.
Oh, the writer and the producer had creative differences.
Kemo, bring us a drink.
Gotta know something.
Why didn't you just tell the police - where Sara was buried? - Yeah.
Because I didn't know where Sara was buried.
You mean, dropping the scarf in the potting shed was just an accident? I was never near the potting shed, Magnum.
Whoa.
Wait a minute.
You mean to tell me you didn't dress up like Sara and talk to Thomas at the Clifford estate? - Yes, I did.
- Hal But I was never at the potting shed.
- Or the tennis court? - Or the tennis court.
- Or the hothouse? - Or the hothouse.
Until Ellison chased me into it.
Oooh-wheeee-oooh.
I've had enough ghost stories for this week.
Good night.
- Magnum, Magnum, Magnum.
- Lisa.
- You've got to stop playing these games.
- I'm not.
'It was understandable Lisa wanted to keep the ghost story going.
'Stuff like that helps sell books.
'But I was a big boy, and like Higgins, didn't believe in the nether world.
'