My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011) s02e03 Episode Script

(Knock on door) Dude, I was this close to conjuring an invisible sandwich! I mean what could be so urgent that.
.
Oh! - No way, your learner's permit! - Yep.
This is way more important than my Invisi-BLT.
That's right.
I'm now legal to drive.
As long as there's a licensed driver in the car with me.
You need a babysitter for the car, too? Lame.
And your babysitter's a hot Sarah.
With a driver's license.
Less lame.
Yep.
Well, awesome people don't like to brag, Benny.
Well, awesome people, like me.
Okay, Mr.
Awesome.
Do you have a car? No, I do not.
Leave that to Benny.
Ah, worth a shot.
Plan B.
Seriously? This piece of junk? Well, it's within your price range, zero to zilcho.
Hey, 75 bucks and it's yours.
Hey, Malcolm, what's going on? My grandpa left me all his favorite things in his will.
So I'm selling 'em! Huh.
Is this him? Yeah.
Whoa, hey, are you gonna buy that photo? I'll throw in a cat salt-shaker.
Family heirlooms.
Yeah, I will totally buy something you think is worthless and then resell it for more.
And I'm sorry for your loss.
Yeah, sorry.
But, um, I'm only interested in the car.
Does it run? Maybe.
.
If you get the squirrel's nest out of the engine.
Just think about it, all right? I gotta go sell some grandpa pants.
(Squirrel noises) Ethan! Antique mini bullhorns.
Oh, I bet it's worth thousands.
(Makes bleating sound) Can you buy this car and drive me to the nearest bucket of mouthwash? (Sighs) (Gasps) Revenge! (Laughs) (Engine starts) (Laughs) Hey! It runs! Uh-huh! So do I! (Growling) She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
What you get is what you see.
No more "maybe it's Maybelline".
She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
There's no way I'm buying that car.
When I touched it, I had a vision.
There was a ghost in the back seat.
Oh, back seat driver from beyond the grave! Bonus! Not a bonus.
Not buying that car.
Oh, come on.
I bet the ghoul in the car is probably not even evil.
Oh, right.
Like one of those happy ghouls.
Likes to stick his like a ghost dog.
They have those? (Doorbell rings) Sarah: Ethan, it's me! Coming.
I'm still gonna ask Sarah driving with me.
In what, your imaginary car? What are you doing? Shooting imaginary laser eye beams into your head.
Don't! Oh, stop! Hey, just the girl I need to help get my license.
If time permits.
(Laughs) Congrats! I was wondering whose clunker that was outside.
Uh.
.
That's not my car.
So it's a little beat up.
No need to be embarrassed.
I'm not.
That's not my car.
You gonna take me for a ride? Uh.
.
(Chuckles) Don't be nervous, the car won't bite.
Uh, don't be so sure.
Uh.
.
Okay, um.
.
I don't have the keys.
You probably left them in the ignition.
- Rookie mistake.
- Yeah.
Better buckle up.
(Starts car) (Car honking) I'm trying! It's okay, I still get honked at when I fly.
Mostly by geese, but.
.
The trick is don't go too fast.
I don't think that's a problem.
Hey! Hey! You stole my car! You stole this car? What? No! It followed me home, I think.
Come on! Hey, hey! All right, I'll knock 20 bucks off the price, all right? Sarah: Ethan! Hit the brakes! Ethan: I'm trying! Malcolm: You crazy driver! Sorry! Sarah: Wow.
You really do need practice.
It wasn't me! - What's that smell? - Again, wasn't me! No, it's blood.
Malcolm must have hurt himself when he fell.
I should go before I get all, you know.
.
(Hisses) Yeah, you should go.
This was a bad idea.
Well, there's nowhere to go but.
.
Jail.
He'll be fine.
He'll be fine.
I'm sorry! It wasn't me! I'll just leave your car here then.
Do you think anyone's gonna blame me for what happened with Malcolm yesterday? Girl 1: It's him! Could be.
Girl 2: That's the guy! Whoa! He almost got me! Nice.
Yet another reason for girls to avoid you.
Sorry about yesterday.
Relax.
Everyone has accidents.
That's why there's insurance.
But it wasn't me, it was the car.
It's possessed or something.
Oh, right! It's a ghost car! (Mimics ghost) Vrooom! Don't worry, bro.
When I first started flying, I rear-ended a 747.
Uh! I hate airline food.
Am I right? Dude, this will all blow over.
I bet it already has.
You! You tried to run me over! I better get my car back by the end of the day or I'm calling the police and I'm going to have your permit revoked.
Revoked! (Inhales) Your bandages are leaking.
Just give him the car, man.
I don't have it.
The last time I saw it, it was on his front lawn.
Growling.
We need to find it, all right? No permit means no practice-driving with Sarah.
And, uh.
.
Jail time.
- Benny! - Okay, dude, relax.
We'll find it.
We'll make it talk.
No, no, no.
You're my sugar bear.
No, no, no, you're my little sugar bear.
No! You're my sugar bear, okay? (Car starts) (Engine revs) What kind of engine is that? (Muffled screams) There you are.
You missed class.
I ran the car's registration number.
Can you believe it was originally designed to be a racer? That clunker? I could beat it on my tricycle.
Your tricycle has rocket-boosters.
Yeah, you're right.
It is a sweet ride.
Check out this old newspaper.
Malcolm's grandfather was Manfred Bruner.
Bruner? As in Bruner automobiles? Yeah.
That car's been in a bunch of suspicious accidents.
All involving members of his family.
Then it just disappeared.
Wow.
Remind me never to be related to Malcolm Bruner.
This totally shows that there's something going on with that car.
How? Suspicious accidents? I bet that car was possessed back then, too.
This is my get out of jail free card.
We gotta spread the word.
Word-spreading.
Okay! (Phone rings) Hey, Rory.
What's up? Nothing.
I just wondered if you did the math homework yet.
Also, did you savagely chew Derek Malvern with your car? What? No! Really, because that's not what everyone thinks.
Derek: This is all Ethan Morgan's fault! Where are you, Morgan? I'm coming for you, Ethan! Revoke Ethan Morgan's permit! Revoke his permit! Well.
.
At least now we know where the car is.
Dude, the Beatles are coming to town! We gotta go! Whoa.
Creepy car makeover.
I don't get it! This car's been in two accidents since I found it and it looks better than ever.
Maybe one more will get it heated seats! Wow, looking good.
Mm mm, smelling good, too.
(Sniffing) I smell blood! Dibs! (Inhales) Cool! Free lucky squirrel tail! Yeah, Malcolm did say there was a squirrel's nest in there.
Um.
.
Whoa.
The engine is filled with blood.
I did not see that one coming.
Blood? Like squirrel blood? No, it's definitely human.
With a hint of squirrel.
A possessed car that runs on blood? That's it, I'm pulling the plug right now.
(Laughing) Ow! I think this car's possessed by a Vampire.
It just bit me.
Oh, so you're hungry, jalopy face? Well how 'bout a knuckle sandwich! It feeds like a Vampire.
It regenerates like a Vampire.
We'll just tell everyone it's a Vampire car.
You won't get blamed for anything! By reason of insanity.
I'm not worried about me any more.
We have to stop this car before it hurts anyone else.
(School bell rings) Later.
You don't want both prison and detention.
That car has been quiet for years.
So what's making it all road-ragey now? I bet its ghost-free warranty expired.
Maybe my psychic energy gave it a jump start.
And then it had that squirrel nest for breakfast.
And, bam! Vampire car lives again.
Okay, so how do we stop a Vampire-possessed car? Cut off its headlights? Cover it in garlic? It's a car, Benny, not a pizza.
Fine! So we cover it in hot cheese first.
.
No, the car isn't the problem.
The vampire possessing it is.
You think you've got a spell to cast him out? Is my name Benny "the magic man" Mephistopheles? No.
Well, it will be.
Some day.
(Bell rings) Okay, let's go evict a ghost.
Whoa, whoa.
Maybe you should stay here.
Everyone still thinks you're hurting people with that car.
True.
And if it runs you over next, I shouldn't be anywhere near it.
Exactly.
Wait, what? You can do it, magic man.
And if you can't, do what I do.
Call Sarah for help.
What's the problem? It has wires, you're a geek.
Make it go! I'm trying.
(Sparking) Ow! Since when do you need a car anyway? It's a blood car, remember? Every time it fills itself up, it'll be like our own private blood delivery service.
Sweet! Wait.
If it still attacks people, won't Ethan get in trouble? If I said we were helping Ethan, would you get back to work? Yeah.
We're helping Ethan! Oh, okay.
I'd better get back to work.
What are you guys doing? Nothing.
We're gonna get Ethan out of trouble by stealing his car! It makes sense when Erica says it.
We were just trying to help out and, um.
.
Yeah, it was all Rory's idea.
Rory had an idea? Why not blame space aliens! That's more believable.
I knew it! Stupid space aliens.
Sorry, vamps, this Blood Bank's about to get closed, all right? (Chanting spell) (Engine starts) Benny: No! No, no, stay! Nice evil car.
Nice evil car! - Nice little car! - Sarah: Stop! No, stop! Benny: Back! Come back! Please, car! No, no, no, no! Erica: Nice one, Mr.
Wizard.
Sarah: Great spell, Benny! - Now what, huh? - Erica: Yeah.
Great.
So now it's mad, evil, and hungry.
(Tires squealing) (Growling) Help! No! Ethan: Oh, man.
Malcolm Bruner, Derek Malvern, and now Ronnie Barnstrom.
The car claimed its third victim.
Okay, that's weird.
Remember how the car went after all these people in the Bruner family ages ago? - Yeah.
- Check out this family tree.
Malcolm, Derek, and Ronnie! They're all part of the Bruner family! Still looking into Bruner? You should check out this guy, Jacob.
He's the one who built your car in the first place.
He was in my vision! Did you ever hear about him being a.
.
Blood-sucker? Sure.
That was after that photo was taken, of course.
Bruner found out, and um.
.
Well, let's just say it's a little tricky firing a Vampire.
Let me guess.
Bruner also had a wooden stake division? Close, Jacob stole the car and had a little accident with a wooden fencepost.
Revenge! That's what he said to me! And now he's still after the Bruners.
Okay, call me crazy but I think I know where the bite mobile's going next.
Richard Bruner! Grandson of Manfred Bruner! No fair, I wanted to say that.
I did all the printing! That kid doesn't know it, but his days are numbered, thanks to you two.
We must warn him.
Richard Bruner, grandson of Manfred Bruner! I can't believe Richard's Butler wouldn't let us in! Well, you wouldn't take your shoes off.
You wouldn't either, if you had little big toes! It's embarrassing.
(Doorbell rings) Oh, that's Richard.
You got everything you need for the spell? Yeah of course, but how did you get him to come over? Hi! Is this where I'm supposed to be for the charity photo shoot? Charity photo shoot? Yeah, they said they wanted photos of me donating these croquet mallets to the underprivileged.
Hmm.
You look poor.
It's okay, we don't need mallets.
I'll take them! I'm sorry.
I had to lie to get you over here so I could tell you.
.
You're in danger.
Danger? Of what? A revenge obsessed car.
I do not have time for the tales of a mal-informed pauper.
Just, please! You're in danger.
Benny! (Clattering) Come on! Okay, okay, we got a make it rain spell, a floating spell.
.
Smell like a frog spell, I don't know why I circled that.
Wait, I got it! (Chanting spell) Oh! It worked! I can't believe it worked! Our lives are gonna be so much better now that we can knock out anyone we want.
Ethan: Yes, it looks like Richard's psyched to be the first.
Hey, hey, whoa! I thought we were gonna save him, not drain him! We are.
I'll let him stay here, but we need his blood in order to lure the car back into a trap and destroy it once and for all.
Glad I took that nursing course in summer school.
I knew someone was stealing my blood! You told me I was imagining it! It's for Sarah, isn't it! Uh.
.
(Chuckles) That's not really important right now.
First we need to locate that car.
(Engine starts) Uh, something tells me that's not gonna be too hard.
(Engine revs) (Beeping) I hope this works, guys.
Of course it's gonna work.
We're wearing cool headsets.
And, uh, make sure you buckle up.
Hey, car, look! Who's that poor, defenseless rich guy up ahead, huh? (Car roaring) Oh! Uh! (Tires squeal) (Air hissing) (Laughs) Ha! Fooled ya! It's me, Rory! Not Richard Bruner, grandson of Manfred Bruner! Let's see how scary this clunker is with four flat tires! (Engine roars) Oh.
Okay, that didn't work! It's still after this Bruner blood! Erica, you take it! Uh-uh.
If I can't drink it, I don't want it.
Come on, guys! I'm the only one of us who can't outrun a car.
(Engine revs) Here you go! Let me take it! I've got an idea.
Just give me a head start, okay! Ethan, no! (Tires squealing) (Growling) (Grunting) Guys! Just let it go! Trust me! Just do it! Come on! Do what he says! It's his "I've got a plan" voice! (Tires squealing) Ethan! End of the road, car-nivore! Here, allow me.
This blood drive's over! (Loud hissing) Thanks.
You didn't have to one-up my victory line though.
Oh, and hey.
Bottom's up, Rory.
You earned it.
Hey, I came all this way.
You can at least pay for dinner! Hey, that's my race car blood! Ethan: Guys, stop.
I got this.
(Chanting spell) (Laughs) Sleep tight, fangy friends.
Wait, this means we're stuck cleaning things up, doesn't it? Yup.
Just you, me, and.
.
(Chanting spell) Well, I guess I got us into this mess.
Guess I'll clean it up.
Or leave it for them when they wake up.
Come on, I'll give you a ride home.
(All groaning) I can't believe he'd leave us here to clean up his mess.
I can't believe you think I'm staying.
What? Rory? Yeah? This is a big clean-up job, all right? - Mmm-hmm.
- It requires skill, character.
Now, I may be taking a big risk here but.
.
I'm putting you in charge.
I won't let you down, Benny! - Thanks.
- Ah! Ah! (Sniffing) Squirrel!