Peter Grill and the Philosopher's Time (2020) s02e03 Episode Script
Peter Grill and the Only Neat Thing to Do
1
Gobuko!
You DARE turn your back on me?
M-my queen
Call me a traitor, I don’t care. I have to help Peter!
He’s like family to me!
What a hilarious joke.
I put a roof over your head.
I was the one who raised you
And THIS is how you repay me!?
My queen, I
You will NEVER belong in this colony,
you stupid snake!
Slaughter them!
Bash her skull in!
I thought they were my family, but
No matter where I go, it’s always the same
Humans have done terrible things to goblins
But you’re no better than them!
I couldn’t bring myself to face the past
because the memories were too painful.
But in that moment, the three of us
We were a family.
Peter
And now that I’m older, I can protect you!
I WILL protect her
FOR FAMILY!
Episode 3: Peter Grill and the Only Neat Thing to Do
All goblins must die
All goblins must die
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
All goblins must die
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
All goblins must die
All goblins must die
R-run away, Gobuko!
No–!
Show no mercy!
Heeelp!
No! Please don’t hurt her!
Gobuko
You’ve been a thorn in my side ever
since we were kids, Gobuko!
Ya dug your own grave with that bleedin’ heart of yours
I KNEW you weren’t one of us!
Ngapopo, I
Chop!
My neck–!
Peter!
Then how’s about I waste the girl?!
Don’t touch her!
My face! Not my face!
I-I owe you my life!
Don’t mention it.
You’re important to Peter, and he’s my family!
Family?
Go-bwa-ba-bwa-ba!
There is no escape, Gobuko!
Now die, you dirty little traitor!
God, she’s a frickin’ nightmare!
The exit’s this way, Peter!
They’re blocking our only way out!
‘Tis YOU who cannot escape from US!
Heavy Chastity Squadron, attack!
Alrighty then
Shall we give them a taste of our special TLC?
Prepare thyselves
for the malice of the phallus!
Take that! And that!
Well? How does it feel?
Eat steel, ya bastards!
Hey, everyone! They captured the Queen!
Us humans reign supreme!
Thank God! We’re finally free!
O, brave warrior!
We are forever in your debt!
You’ve rid us of those accursed goblins!
Thank you! Thank you!
I would REALLY appreciate it if you
didn’t mention goblins to me
At the end of the day, I
couldn’t do anything to help, could I?
I’m sensing a pattern.
This isn’t the first time I’ve caused you trouble
That’s not true at all.
Luvellia-senpai, you’re–
Yo, Peter!
What’s wrong, Tim?
It’s just
I told the higher-ups about what you said earlier, but
Unfortunately, they
Wha–?!
They’re bent on eradicating each
and every female goblin
who transformed into a
rampaging sex demon while she was horny?!
We’re headed down the same dark path!
Peter–?!
It’s no different than before!
Maybe humans and goblins CAN’
live alongside each other
No! Think, Peter Grill!
What was Sir Kenji trying to tell you?!
Gob-gob!
The very thing these women seek
It can be used as a cure to quench their thirst.
Gob
Gob!
You understand, don’t you?
Now I get it
We still have a chance!
Down there, Peter!
I guess it’s now or never!
ALL GOBLINS MUST DIE!
STOOOOP!
Before you go through with this,
there’s something you oughta see!
That goblin- bring her to me!
Gob-gob
Peter, what the hell are you doing?!
She’s not in heat anymore!
And she has a satisfied look on her face!
Tell us how you did it, Peter!
I used a technique that alleviates
the physical effects of arousal.
In other words
Don’t stick it in her downstairs! Aim high!
We need them to ingest our boner broth orally!
Interesting
This state of relaxation must be triggered
by something in our crotch custard
If we treat it as though it were an antibiotic, or a vaccine
And if we administer it by mouth
instead of the usual approach
Alright!
I, Tim Robinson, hereby command you:
Blow your loads into the mouths of every goblin in sight!
Bring them to their senses!
WHAT?!
Hundreds of them, all by ourselves?
Ya mighta saved our asses,
but I ain’t suckin’ up to no traitor.
Rules are rules, y’know.
So don’t let us catch that ugly mug
of yours ‘round here ever again.
What she said!
I knew it. I’m
Sir Peter Grill saves the day once again!
And the Great Goblin Invasion comes to a peaceful end!
We can always count on the world’s strongest man!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Why do I haveta be sush a lightweight?!
Knock ‘em back, chase ‘em down!
Strongest booze ya got!
And YOU’RE next
And so that’s when I said–
Luvellia-senpai!
Please forgive me, Peter-kun.
I feel like turning in early tonight.
Luvellia-senpai
Yooo, Peter!
Quit wanderin’ off, Mr. Superstar!
C’mon, let’s have a drink!
S-sure.
C’mon, let’s have a drink!
Luvellia-senpai, I I did it.
I stood my ground and refused to give in!
Cut it out.
I’ll never make the same mistake again
I won’t screw this up!
I DID IT AGAIN!
Good morning, Peter! It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?
What are you doing here, Gobuko?!
Well, we’re a family, right?
So I figured we should
fill our home with little bundles of joy.
“Bundles of joy”?
I can't betray Luvellia-senpai’s trust again-
You don’t beat around the bush
with that meatstick of yours.
Huh?!
Why do I have to be
SO GODDAMN WEAK?!
Dear Sir Peter Grill,
Since I finally took care of that matter we discussed,
I’ll be there to visit in a few days.
Just you wait
Big Brother!
Mimi Alpacas
Momo Taiga
Ya gotta tune in next week, ‘kay?!
-Mimi
Gobuko!
You DARE turn your back on me?
M-my queen
Call me a traitor, I don’t care. I have to help Peter!
He’s like family to me!
What a hilarious joke.
I put a roof over your head.
I was the one who raised you
And THIS is how you repay me!?
My queen, I
You will NEVER belong in this colony,
you stupid snake!
Slaughter them!
Bash her skull in!
I thought they were my family, but
No matter where I go, it’s always the same
Humans have done terrible things to goblins
But you’re no better than them!
I couldn’t bring myself to face the past
because the memories were too painful.
But in that moment, the three of us
We were a family.
Peter
And now that I’m older, I can protect you!
I WILL protect her
FOR FAMILY!
Episode 3: Peter Grill and the Only Neat Thing to Do
All goblins must die
All goblins must die
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
All goblins must die
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
Stop! Why are you doing this to us?
All goblins must die
All goblins must die
R-run away, Gobuko!
No–!
Show no mercy!
Heeelp!
No! Please don’t hurt her!
Gobuko
You’ve been a thorn in my side ever
since we were kids, Gobuko!
Ya dug your own grave with that bleedin’ heart of yours
I KNEW you weren’t one of us!
Ngapopo, I
Chop!
My neck–!
Peter!
Then how’s about I waste the girl?!
Don’t touch her!
My face! Not my face!
I-I owe you my life!
Don’t mention it.
You’re important to Peter, and he’s my family!
Family?
Go-bwa-ba-bwa-ba!
There is no escape, Gobuko!
Now die, you dirty little traitor!
God, she’s a frickin’ nightmare!
The exit’s this way, Peter!
They’re blocking our only way out!
‘Tis YOU who cannot escape from US!
Heavy Chastity Squadron, attack!
Alrighty then
Shall we give them a taste of our special TLC?
Prepare thyselves
for the malice of the phallus!
Take that! And that!
Well? How does it feel?
Eat steel, ya bastards!
Hey, everyone! They captured the Queen!
Us humans reign supreme!
Thank God! We’re finally free!
O, brave warrior!
We are forever in your debt!
You’ve rid us of those accursed goblins!
Thank you! Thank you!
I would REALLY appreciate it if you
didn’t mention goblins to me
At the end of the day, I
couldn’t do anything to help, could I?
I’m sensing a pattern.
This isn’t the first time I’ve caused you trouble
That’s not true at all.
Luvellia-senpai, you’re–
Yo, Peter!
What’s wrong, Tim?
It’s just
I told the higher-ups about what you said earlier, but
Unfortunately, they
Wha–?!
They’re bent on eradicating each
and every female goblin
who transformed into a
rampaging sex demon while she was horny?!
We’re headed down the same dark path!
Peter–?!
It’s no different than before!
Maybe humans and goblins CAN’
live alongside each other
No! Think, Peter Grill!
What was Sir Kenji trying to tell you?!
Gob-gob!
The very thing these women seek
It can be used as a cure to quench their thirst.
Gob
Gob!
You understand, don’t you?
Now I get it
We still have a chance!
Down there, Peter!
I guess it’s now or never!
ALL GOBLINS MUST DIE!
STOOOOP!
Before you go through with this,
there’s something you oughta see!
That goblin- bring her to me!
Gob-gob
Peter, what the hell are you doing?!
She’s not in heat anymore!
And she has a satisfied look on her face!
Tell us how you did it, Peter!
I used a technique that alleviates
the physical effects of arousal.
In other words
Don’t stick it in her downstairs! Aim high!
We need them to ingest our boner broth orally!
Interesting
This state of relaxation must be triggered
by something in our crotch custard
If we treat it as though it were an antibiotic, or a vaccine
And if we administer it by mouth
instead of the usual approach
Alright!
I, Tim Robinson, hereby command you:
Blow your loads into the mouths of every goblin in sight!
Bring them to their senses!
WHAT?!
Hundreds of them, all by ourselves?
Ya mighta saved our asses,
but I ain’t suckin’ up to no traitor.
Rules are rules, y’know.
So don’t let us catch that ugly mug
of yours ‘round here ever again.
What she said!
I knew it. I’m
Sir Peter Grill saves the day once again!
And the Great Goblin Invasion comes to a peaceful end!
We can always count on the world’s strongest man!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Peter Grill! Peter Grill!
Why do I haveta be sush a lightweight?!
Knock ‘em back, chase ‘em down!
Strongest booze ya got!
And YOU’RE next
And so that’s when I said–
Luvellia-senpai!
Please forgive me, Peter-kun.
I feel like turning in early tonight.
Luvellia-senpai
Yooo, Peter!
Quit wanderin’ off, Mr. Superstar!
C’mon, let’s have a drink!
S-sure.
C’mon, let’s have a drink!
Luvellia-senpai, I I did it.
I stood my ground and refused to give in!
Cut it out.
I’ll never make the same mistake again
I won’t screw this up!
I DID IT AGAIN!
Good morning, Peter! It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?
What are you doing here, Gobuko?!
Well, we’re a family, right?
So I figured we should
fill our home with little bundles of joy.
“Bundles of joy”?
I can't betray Luvellia-senpai’s trust again-
You don’t beat around the bush
with that meatstick of yours.
Huh?!
Why do I have to be
SO GODDAMN WEAK?!
Dear Sir Peter Grill,
Since I finally took care of that matter we discussed,
I’ll be there to visit in a few days.
Just you wait
Big Brother!
Mimi Alpacas
Momo Taiga
Ya gotta tune in next week, ‘kay?!
-Mimi