Phineas and Ferb s02e03 Episode Script

Ah, yes.
The Daily Crossword puzzle.
Today's theme: Tip of the Day.
The metal tip of an umbrella.
Let's see Honey? The ferrule.
Yes, of course.
Uh The tip of the elbow.
Honey? The olecranon.
I thought so.
Yes, easy-peasy, that one.
Next, the tip of the shoelace.
Yes, yes, that little hard tip at the end of the shoelace is Honey? I don't know.
You don't know? Ugh! It's like living with a bunch of monkeys! Just look it up on the computer! But isn't it weird none of us know its name? No.
That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain hurty things.
Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
Wow.
Twenty people emailed me the same video.
I gotta check this out.
That is so humiliating.
I have to send this to Jeremy, and Jenny, the track team, Chicago Joe– So, uh, Candace? Smart word box find name shoelace tip? Ugh.
Would you wait? I'm dealing with something that actually matters here.
Ugh! The internet crashed! I know.
Baljeet! This kinda stuff is right up his alley.
Useless Shoelace Facts, Volume 8.
"The plastic or metal tip on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet.
A-G-L-E-T.
It is one of the most useful, yet tragically ignored inventions in all of history".
Gosh, Ferb.
That seems like a great injustice, huh.
Oh, well.
Thanks Baljeet.
Okay.
A-G-L-E-T.
Brilliant! Oh, hi, boys.
Aglet, Mom.
Aglet you too, Phineas.
No.
Mom, the shoelace tip, it's an aglet.
How interesting! Yeah! Nobody seems to know the word.
I wonder why? I'll tell you why! Because it doesn't matter! You can live a long, happy life without knowing the tip of the shoelace is called a Aglet.
It doesn't matter! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Oh, look at this, honey.
five letters; "Where's blank?" Agent P, Doofenshmirtz has crippled the entire worldwide internet by spreading a so-called viral video over the whole planet.
Watch carefully, Agent P.
What you're about to see may be the masterstroke of an evil genius which distracted us with smaller schemes while secretly moving us into checkmate.
I am a superstar! It won't stop flushing! Agent P, this is no laughing matter.
We need you to find out what he's up to and stop him.
Behind you, rising dramatically from the floor, is a new, high-tech device.
It's called a Universal Delete Button.
It can delete any file on the internet from every computer on the planet.
It won't stop flushing! "It won't stop flushing!" Carl, I told you.
There's nothing funny about a man in his underwear skating into a toilet.
Of course, sir.
Now, limericks.
Limericks are funny.
The reason we've called you all here today is to raise awareness for the aglet.
What's an aglet? Ferb, enlighten us.
The aglet.
Oh, that's what it's called! Our goal is to bring the plight of the aglet to the world's attention.
First, we'll use these shoelaces to makeshift Aglet Awareness Ribbons.
Never forget the aglet! You are going to waste the whole day promoting aglets? Who is going to care? If you diss aglets one more time, I'll fray your head so bad, it won't fit through your shirt hole! Aglets, yay.
Hey, Candace.
The more you know about aglets, the better your life's gonna be.
No one's life will be made better knowing the whatever-you-call-it! Aglet.
Excuse, what did you say? Aglet.
It's that little plastic tip at the end of the shoelace.
Aglet? Aglet?! Oh, Lewis, I will marry you! Aglet.
The promotion is yours! Aglet.
My hair's grown back! Hey, w-what's going on? The shoelace tip! It's an aglet! I can hear! Well, it seems to be working.
Let's take it to the next level.
Oh, oh! And the part when the guy rollerskated into the toilet! Oh, that was sort of the only part, but yeah, I was dying! I mean, everyone in the whole world saw that video.
I wish there was a viral video of me singing going around the world.
I bet you'd become an instant star.
Yeah.
An instant star.
Yeah.
You'd be bigger than aglets.
Wait, what? Why do you know that word? Aglets are so in right now.
Look.
Hey, guys.
I, uh just wanted to see you if you'd come with me.
To the big aglet concert.
Agent P, your halo jump is a go.
Go, go, go! Jump, and fall! Keep falling, and keep being a platypus! Visualize it, you're a falling plat– Did you ever had an old box of junk that's just been sitting in the attic forever, and you think, "I bet I could just get rid of this whole box, and my life would go on completely unaffected by the loss of whatever maybe inside, like, for instance, an old forgotten video tape made in high school".
Look in the box, Perry the Platypus.
Always.
Look.
In.
The box.
Moooooooooooom! Candace? What's wrong? Phineas and Ferb are increasing public awareness of the shoelace tip thing! Who knew people would get so worked up over aglets? No! Hey, Candace! Aren't you gonna come and sing at the big aglet concert? You may have infected everyone else with shoelace tip madness, but not me! They don't matter! Bummer.
It's gonna be broadcasted all over the world.
You could become an instant star.
Okay, but they still don't matter! Uh Touché? Oh, this video is ruining my life, Perry the Platypus.
I– I can't even go outside my own evil lair.
Hey, look! It's that idiot from the video! And that's just my kitchen.
What's this? A Universal Delete Button? Thank you, Perry the Platypus.
Sorry, but deleting the video from every computer in the world isn't good enough.
I have to erase it from people's minds too.
Behold! The Read My Mind-inator! You see, whatever I think of appears on this screen in front.
See? See? If I just hook it up to your Universal Delete Button like this Voilà! Now, whatever I think of, I can push this button and delete it from every mind in the Tri-State Area! (Song: A-G-L-E-T) Through the eye of the needle It's time to loosen your tongue Got a tip how to make ends meet A-G-L-E-T Don't forget it Get's us all up on our feet, yeah, yeah, yeah A-G-L-E-T (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T We're tying the world together (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T We're tying the world together (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T We're gonna tie the world together (Aglet!) Don't forget it A-G-L-E-T We're gonna tie the world together (Aglet!) Don't forget it One word at a time! Ladies and gentlemen, my sister, Candace Flynn! And in the end, the most important thing Is that we never forget The end of a shoelace is called the– The Uh Wait a minute! It doesn't matter! I can't believe I was almost sucked into this! I can't believe you still haven't learned the word.
I mean, we spelled it a bunch of times in the song.
Sing more songs about aglets.
Yeah.
Aglets are important.
Now, Perry the Platypus, when I press this button, whatever I'm thinking about, whatever is on this screen right here, will be erased from every mind in the Tri-State Area.
Because, a-again, to– to make myself perfectly clear, when I– When I press this delete button right here, whatever I'm thinking of, which will be displayed on this screen, will– will be deleted from every computer, and– and– every mind in the entire Tri-State Area.
And, uh Not to put a find-a-point on it, but people who haven't seen, or– or don't remember my video will be completely unaffected.
So, you know, I'm not doing any real harm.
Y-You understand, right? Good.
Oh.
Oh well, that kind of, killed the moment, didn't it? Oh, shoot.
My– My shoelace is all frayed.
I– I'm going to have to replace the aglet.
I-I always keep extras on hand, just– Just a few.
Anyway, here's the mud in your eye! Boo! It! Doesn't! Matter! What's going on? Oh, hey, what are we doing here? Exactly! This whole thing is a pointless and stupid celebration of the fact that shoelace tip is called you know! What it's! Who cares? Yeah, I wear loafers.
What do you mean "who cares?" lame-o? That's what this is all about! The name of the shoelace is the Who cares? Yeah! Let's get out of here! Wait! Come back! I'm sorry, Candace.
But I'm pretty sure you're the only one who cares about shoelaces here.
But– but– but– Now see, I can release you and it doesn't matter.
The entire world has forgotten all about that humiliating video of me on roller skates.
And I won't be needing this anymore! I'm free! Look! It's that idiot from the video again! Let's use mockery to keep him inside! I have an ouchie.
In here.
Too much information But keep your eye on the ball We're gonna drive it hard through the hole, yeah A-G-L-E-T Don't forget it Brings us closer to our sole, yeah! A-G-L-E-T We're gonna tie the world together (Aglet!) Don't forget it One word at a time! It doesn't matter!