Puberty Blues (2012) s02e03 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 3
I'll come see you.
It's gated all around.
I'm locked in.
You must be getting pretty randy now your girlfriend's gone to boarding school.
Rack off! Have you ever rooted anyone before? And this doesn't mean we're going round.
What's inside? Pour it out.
Fuck me! I resigned.
Gee, that's a big decision.
He doesn't shirk away from the big decisions, do you, Roger? No, he acts, don't you? How long's he been back for? Too long.
I rooted Woody.
What?! Out of bounds! I've gotta go, I'm sorry! Is that a picture of your boyfriend? Is it? Debbie? Can you hear me? Sending you my thoughts at 3:18.
I'm thinking .
.
what a spunk! Sue, 3:25.
Don't ever do Latin.
And I'm thinking I miss Gary.
And I hate ties and boaters.
We're late! 3:26.
Are you starting to talk to yourself? Because that happens to me too.
You should get that checked out, Nancy.
Get outta the water, ya moll.
Mr Candy? Debbie, 4:17, and oh, my God! Can I please talk to Debbie Vickers? Yeah, can you ask her to ring Gary? OK.
Yep.
Thank you.
Hey, sport! Hey, Dad.
How about a hug for your old man? Come here.
Just going to get some Chinese.
OK.
Has she rung? No.
4:30, isn't it? Mum ran a red light on the way home.
We were nearly killed.
Untrue! It's plugged in, darling.
She'll ring.
I know.
It's just It's just that I haven't spoken to her in so long.
We're gonna get out of your hair, go for a drive.
Aw! Thanks for letting me talk to her alone.
Make the peace.
Hope she loves it there.
Her letter said she likes it.
Best we can hope for.
Come on, David.
Do you know where the TAB is? Shh! Yes.
This is a science experiment, OK? I know.
You could win a fortune, though.
You have a theory.
We put it into practical terms and we assess the results.
I'll win.
You put a dollar the first race, and then you have to double it for each subsequent race.
Understood.
Also, in science, we tend to keep our experiments confidential until all the results and data are in.
Don't tell Mum? Exactly.
- Hello? - Hi.
Debbie! How are you? Good.
How is it? Tell me everything.
It's fine.
Don't drown me in detail.
Fine.
I'm a prisoner in a hateful place and my every moment is spent despising you.
How are Dad and David? Great.
I think they're up to something, but What's that? Mum, they're making me get off.
What? I'll try you on the weekend.
Well, let me speak to the pers Shit! Debbie! Hang on.
You stay there.
Hi.
OK, 3:25.
Um, "I miss Gary.
" Yes! That doesn't prove anything.
I bet you think that all the time.
True.
'Cause you wanna pash him and you're turning into a frigid nun with icicles in your undies.
Correct.
OK, you.
Um3:18.
OK, um "I wonder if it's cold in.
"What if my top comes off, "they see my incredible breasts, "faint, fall off their boards and drown?" And "What a spunk!" Yes! Unreal! Unreal! OK, question.
Woody Should I just keep going with that? He's outside right now.
Of course he is.
He's like a dog that got an unexpected treat, and now he's just gonna hang around.
Till he throws me a boner.
God, I miss you! I know, it's unbearable! He's knocking.
I don't want him to think that we're going round.
What if he tells his friends? Woody doesn't have friends.
Yeah, well, what if he's trying to make some and tells them? I don't wanna be a slut who does it with weirdos.
OK, clarify to him that this is still just an experiment and if he tells anyone, you'll tell your dad that Woody wrestled you to the ground and fingered you and your dad will smash him like he smashed Straccy.
OK.
Great.
I need you, madam.
I need you.
Oh! I'm going to some restaurant called Darcy's with Nancy.
Who's Nancy? Oh, she's my bed neighbour.
She's funny.
Anyway, her mum's coming up from Deniliquin.
And they have this dessert that they set fire to at the table.
Amazing! Great.
Yeah, it's probably gonna be stupid.
Just kind of annoying.
I'm sure her mum's hateful.
Hateful? Yeah, that's what they say here.
Everything's "hateful".
Hateful.
I-I gotta go.
Oi! OK, cunnilingus.
Why are there orange segments? I might taste gross.
The book talks about flavoured douches, says you shouldn't use them.
And I quote, "You don't put peach sauce on scampi.
" II don't know what that means.
It means we're venturing into the unknown.
The oranges are for your benefit.
OK.
Uh, can I see the diagram? I think I got it.
Start slow.
OK.
Was it OK? Not unpleasant.
Like eating an oyster.
But you don't get to swallow.
Dickhead! You liked it? You seemed to.
Yeah.
Good.
Engaged, huh? It's been engaged for two hours.
It's all the rich kids ringing home.
"Mother, I'm cold.
Please send me my mink coat.
" I think most of them are from the country.
Well, we're going shopping, sweetheart, if you wanna come with us.
I'm not that desperate.
Oh, come on, sad sack.
I haven't embarrassed you out in public for days.
But there are other girls, Sue.
It's unhealthy having just one friend.
Why? Because when they're killed in a car crash, you won't have anyone to talk to about it.
Dad! Bloody hell, Roger.
Look, my point remains.
Let's spread the love.
You can't stay cooped up in here, not talking to anyone else.
Come on, love.
Hello? Oh, hi, Cheryl.
Yeah.
Ming Dynasty, followed by Clive's No Poor Man, Runaway Agenda and Salamander last of all.
500 metres left to go Monosyllables.
All I get is monosyllables.
I deserve more.
I deserve strings of verbs and occasional adjectives.
Oh, I'm just ranting.
She's just still angry at me, I guess.
It'll pass.
Yeah, I suppose.
Whoo! What's with him? Whoo! Who knows? I might take him for a drive.
You two and your drives.
What do you do? It's fun.
We talk about 'Star Wars' Hey.
Have you spoken to Debbie? Yeah.
How is she? She's going to some fancy dinner with her stupid-faced friend to some stupid-faced place called Darcy's where they shove stupid food in their stupid mouths.
Alright.
What's your problem? I find it hateful.
Hateful? Exactly.
Yeah, well, the whole thing really shits me.
Me too.
I wanna tell her things, and I think I might explode.
And the phone's engaged.
Yeah, or she's in Latin.
Who bloody speaks Latin? Not even Italians speak Latin.
Her olds are such dicks, man.
I don't know.
I need to talk to her.
What about? Tell me.
I'll pretend to be her.
Seriously.
I won't wank you off afterwards.
You're a freak.
I know! You're a freak.
And I'll tell you mine.
My dad came home.
Shit.
Shit is right.
Where's he been? I don't know.
I don't care.
What do you wanna talk to her about? Oh, um Come on.
Cat got your tongue? Razor blade! Probably Straccy.
Oh, God.
Show me! A lot of money, huh? You alright? Yeah.
What'll we do with it? I've got an idea.
Hold on.
Chocolate Royals? No way! Oh, come on, Rog.
I wanna make it nice.
It's a Tupperware party.
We're trying to make money.
Can't you get Marie biscuits instead? Marie biscuits?! Come on, Rog.
An Iced VoVo's at least middle ground here.
OK.
Come on now, look, we're gonna be fine.
Any day now, the jobs will start to flow in.
And when they do, I'll get down on my knees and I'll handfeed you Chocolate Royals.
Until then, we gotta keep a tight rein on things, yeah? Oh, right.
So I take it you'll be drinking cheap Scotch from now on? There's no need to be stupid about it.
A man's gotta keep his spirits up.
I bloody thought so.
I like winning.
Ace colour.
I call it cherry cola.
Do you mix pink and black? Yeah.
Nice highlights, moll.
Up yours! I call it algae green.
Cheryl, have you ever had a guy do .
.
cunnilingus? I don't speak Greek.
What is that? Like, put his head down there and his tongue and, like, go for it.
Like, lick you out.
Yeah.
No.
Have you? It was it was kind of OK.
At first, it was like a slug let loose in my pants.
But then it was kinda strange.
But in a good way.
Hey, everyone! This moll let some Bankie go Paddle Pop on her vag! Oh! That's disgusting! What about you, Vicki? I saw her in the car park with a mouthful of Candy.
Mr Candy.
She was sucking him off.
Shut up, you moll! Uh, ladies, so this .
.
is very handy.
Very handy, this one.
You, um You put things in that.
And, uh, this one, well, you put .
.
round things in that.
Alright, ladies, look, I've got my brochures somewhere around You know what? Why don't you have yourself a drink, use your imagination and buy something? You won't be disappointed.
I think that I might just get the round ones.
Oh, that's a very good choice, Yvonne, the round ones.
Very good choice.
Um Ferris came back.
Shit! Did you throw the prick out? It was so strange.
There was just this slow-motion thing going, and We looked at each other, and it was electric.
It was I just stood where I was standing and he came up to me and And? And we had sex! Animal, from-behind sex.
Wow.
Roger, go away, darling.
II just I don't know what to do.
There's there's Graham.
He's gonna pick me up soon.
Well, what do you want? Well, Graham has been a godsend in terms of my development as a person.
I'm a different a different being.
But, um But Ferris is my husband, and there's just this Electric, slow-motion, animal thing sort of going on? Yes! Right.
Well, I think I need a drink on that note! I thought we could go to the pictures tonight.
I'm sorry, I I need to have a night with Gary.
Of course.
How is he? OK.
You're a good mother, Yvonne.
And you're a lovely man.
Thank you! What? Nothing.
That's all.
What do you think you're doing, Mum? I thought I'd make a curry.
Your dad loves curry.
Are you serious? Don't make trouble.
Everything will be fine.
You just need to keep calm.
Mum Why are you even letting him stay? Throw him out, Mum! It's his house.
He's allowing us to stay.
Bullshit.
I asked a lawyer months ago.
Fucking hell.
And if he catches you with Graham? Well, just keep calm and God, I'm feeling dizzy.
You're pissed.
Tipsy, perhaps.
Curry.
Oh, that's amazing! I was just saying I was gonna make a curry.
Ferris provides.
I'm out of here.
Drive safely now! Oh, that was fun! And what should we do about Maisie? Oh, we'll let her sleep it off, I suppose.
I counted out your orders.
We made $96.
30.
Oh, bloody sweet.
Minus the cost of the Tupperware, the food and the booze, a profit of $11.
40.
Oh.
Ah.
Who's in my bed? You remember Maisie.
She used to own the craft shop.
Why is she in my bed? She's drunk, sweetheart.
I thought it was a Tupperware party.
People get excited about Tupperware.
I hate this.
Darling, what's happened? I hate that Debbie's gone.
I hate that every other girl in this suburb is an untrustworthy bitch.
Well, this strikes me as a mother/daughter conversation.
I'll go and grab us a barbecued chook.
Hey, darling, why don't you call Deb, hmm? 'Cause she's at some fancy restaurant, being posh and eating a fiery dessert.
You know what? I hid some of the Chocolate Royals from your dad.
Eh? Do you wanna eat 'em all before he gets back? Yeah? Thank you.
So, where are you from, Debbie? Cronulla.
Uh-huh.
Out on the beach.
Oh.
How's Dad? He's busy.
Cropping.
Must be beautiful out in the country.
If you like flat land that goes on forever, it is.
No, I love it.
I'm just not sure why.
Does it look good? The season? You don't have to worry about that.
I am definitely having the abalone! You can't get abalone in Deni.
Really? Uh-uh.
My dad dives for abalone all the time.
Really? Oh, wow! You are lucky! I will have the bucatini.
I might just go to the bathroom.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you OK? You look startled.
What are you doing here? How did you know? Sue told me, and I remembered the name of it.
I, um I couldn't go home.
I don't know.
I just had to see you before I went crazy.
I'm at this dinner.
I can't I know.
I just had to.
I hate it there so much.
I actually cannot believe they've done this to me.
I hate them.
Every night, I remind myself how much.
I miss you like crazy.
I miss you too.
Debbie? Oh, Mrs Travers.
Sorry, I, um Hi.
Um, I'm Gary.
Sorry to, um, interrupt your dinner.
I just need to talk to Debbie for a few minutes.
Oh.
How romantic.
No! Yes.
How long is it since you've seen her? Four weeks, one day.
Then you'd better come in and join us for dinner.
I'm sure they can find you a jacket.
Come.
Come on! We'll eat bucatinis and set our dessert on fire.
And they're really nice.
Did you fart, or is that just the way you smell now? Funny.
Not if you're the one smelling it.
Cheryl, shut up.
Did you want a milkshake as well, Nat? Yeah, love.
Thanks.
What are you doing? We've gotta come to an understanding.
Piss off.
You've gotta start to show me some respect, you understand? Ah! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Whenever I want, you understand? Whenever I want.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Lovely.
Got you some smokes as well.
What are you doing up, chicken? Is he asleep? Yeah.
He rooted me.
Don't be stupid.
A couple of months ago, picked me up from school and took me for a drive, pulled into the bush and he rooted me.
What, so he he raped you? No.
Wake up! Did you root Cheryl?! Did you?! 'Cause that's what she's sayin'! The lying bitch.
Well, why would she say it? She's always sticking it in my face.
So, did you or not? Tell me, go on! No.
I'm going for a drive.
Are you lying? Are you? No.
Well, I think you are.
I think that you want to ruin this for me.
You selfish bitch.
Mum, I'm not lying.
I've seen you! You wave it in his face.
Cheryl, are you jealous? Are you jealous? Or do you think that you're better than me? Smarter? Well, you're gonna leave school next year and get a shitty job.
And we'll see who the smart one is.
But Candy's pretty great.
Really clean and not salty.
You know how all the boys around here are salty? He's not.
Do we need more cinnamon? Nuh.
Anyway, I'm gonna leave school.
They're gonna give me a manager's job here.
And I'm gonna earn $76 a week.
A week! A lot of money.
You could do it too.
Get a job at Fruit Barn.
We could hang out all the time.
At Fruit Barn? Sue! Hey.
Vicki wanted to apologise for being a moll.
No, I don't.
She does.
Want a doughnut? Take a dozen.
OK.
Thanks.
Sorry for being such a bitch.
You always are.
Yeah, I know.
I'm a selfish bitch.
We were just planning Vicki and Mr Candy's wedding.
Piss off! Sorry.
I'm gonna go for a smoke.
You wanna come? It's not your break.
Fire me, bitch.
You gonna go to uni? I guess so.
Mum and Dad want me to.
Could be fun.
How come you didn't ask me? What? How come you didn't ask me if I'm going to uni? 'Cause I don't care.
Well Cheryl! Hi.
I was just going past.
Debbie's away at Yeah, I know.
You look really pretty.
Oh! Thank you.
I could kill a cup of tea.
How's your mum? Do you remember teaching me in Grade 4? How could I forget the turtles? I didn't know that they would die.
The shells seemed really hard.
Hmm Anyway.
Was I smart? Yes.
I don't I don't know whether I'm smart or not.
I don't do well in school, but I don't try real hard either.
I just I don't wanna be some moll at the doughnut store, knocked up to some drongo, with screaming brats everywhere and no future.
You don't have to be.
Do you reckon I can get my HSC? Please don't lie to me.
You don't have to worry about my feelings.
I barely have any.
Oh, well, I don't think that's true.
So? You're smart enough to get your HSC.
With work.
Would you help me? Help you? Uh, I I'm very busy.
Cheryl, you just need to create a routine and a disciplined environment.
Yeah.
Great.
Thanks.
Bye.
Cheryl? I find it hard creating a disciplined routine at home.
Tch Did you win? No.
Because your mother can't hit a lob.
I get dizzy with all that looking up.
Then you should just let me take care of them.
Oh, it's just a game, Rog.
It's just a game that we should have won, sweetheart.
Dad, relax.
Roger, you'll be pleased to know I've decided to get a job.
Grace Bros have ads for perfume sales.
You'll get discounts! No.
Yeah, you do.
15%, I think.
No - then everyone's gonna know that we're in trouble.
You're not getting a job.
Oh, so what? Shit happens to people.
People understand that.
Look, I forbid it.
You can't forbid.
We don't forbid.
I do.
I am.
Look, enough! Bloody hell.
I'm serious, you two.
Bugger you.
And look, you're not getting a job, Pamela.
End of story.
And for once, you're gonna do as you're told! Yeah? Just drove.
All the way to Darwin and back.
That's great.
I'd love to do that.
Yeah, well, sometimes a man's just gotta fuck off.
Clear his head.
You know, after the whole Celia thing, I thought, "One day I'm just gonna put a gun in my mouth.
" Hey, go easy, mate! It's the grind, mate.
You know, I was done with it.
I mean, aren't you? I'd say it's done with me, more like it.
Oh, you gotta do it, you know? Just leave it all.
Live.
Well, if it's so great out there, why'd you come back here? I missed 'em.
So, what are you gonna do now? Work a couple of days a week.
Concentrate on being a good husband, I suppose.
Oh, yeah? So no more playing away? On my drive .
.
I fucked 34 women.
Two Abos, a Thai.
Had a Norwegian with the reddest snatch you ever saw.
Yeah? Jesus! I kinda got it out of my system, you know? I guess that'd help you .
.
help you get over her and Graham, eh? Graham? Who the fuck's Graham? We had dessert at the end and they lit it on fire.
Say that again? They set the dessert on fire.
That is ridiculous! It's called crepe suzette.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, it's pretty delish.
And burnt.
How do you know that? 'Cause I can read, moll.
Is that your dad? One sec.
Who's Graham? Dad, I don't Who's Graham? I don't fucking know.
Loyalty.
Yeah? Loyalty! You going out? Nah.
Hey, you went to the dinner! Yeah.
Why didn't you take me? It was a spur of the moment.
And I didn't wanna take you.
So, was it weird and posh? Did Debbie hate it? Nah, they're cool.
Her friend's great, and her mum was cool.
She let me have dinner.
And then she let us hang out before she went.
God, I hate you! You sure her friend isn't a bitch? I'm sure.
I heard about your dad.
See you later.
What about us? Us, who? The family unit.
She caused trouble.
She is gone the minute she does.
She knows that.
Darling I know you miss Debbie.
But having Cheryl This isn't about Debbie.
I've told her she has to wear pants.
There's a dress code.
One thing I have to ask, and obviously this is a difficult thing When you were in the car .
.
manhandling yourself at speed, was it about her? Jesus, Judy! Just yes or no.
Honestly.
Because we have to be honest.
If it was, she cannot stay.
No, it wasn't about her! She's a kid! OK.
- Hi, darling.
- Hi.
OK, time for some English.
Hey, sprog.
I'm so glad she's back! Ooh! A letter from Debbie, sweetheart.
Well, go easy.
So, what's she say? Yes! She went out to dinner at some posh joint.
It was miserable.
Tasted weird.
Friend was a cow who was rude.
Food tasted like old meat in a sauce of penguin vomit.
Oh, dear! That's so lovely.
What, penguin vomit? No, you don't get it.
Oh, well, clearly not.
She's lying.
Gary said she had a great time.
4:14.
Debbie Vickers, you are ace.
It's gated all around.
I'm locked in.
You must be getting pretty randy now your girlfriend's gone to boarding school.
Rack off! Have you ever rooted anyone before? And this doesn't mean we're going round.
What's inside? Pour it out.
Fuck me! I resigned.
Gee, that's a big decision.
He doesn't shirk away from the big decisions, do you, Roger? No, he acts, don't you? How long's he been back for? Too long.
I rooted Woody.
What?! Out of bounds! I've gotta go, I'm sorry! Is that a picture of your boyfriend? Is it? Debbie? Can you hear me? Sending you my thoughts at 3:18.
I'm thinking .
.
what a spunk! Sue, 3:25.
Don't ever do Latin.
And I'm thinking I miss Gary.
And I hate ties and boaters.
We're late! 3:26.
Are you starting to talk to yourself? Because that happens to me too.
You should get that checked out, Nancy.
Get outta the water, ya moll.
Mr Candy? Debbie, 4:17, and oh, my God! Can I please talk to Debbie Vickers? Yeah, can you ask her to ring Gary? OK.
Yep.
Thank you.
Hey, sport! Hey, Dad.
How about a hug for your old man? Come here.
Just going to get some Chinese.
OK.
Has she rung? No.
4:30, isn't it? Mum ran a red light on the way home.
We were nearly killed.
Untrue! It's plugged in, darling.
She'll ring.
I know.
It's just It's just that I haven't spoken to her in so long.
We're gonna get out of your hair, go for a drive.
Aw! Thanks for letting me talk to her alone.
Make the peace.
Hope she loves it there.
Her letter said she likes it.
Best we can hope for.
Come on, David.
Do you know where the TAB is? Shh! Yes.
This is a science experiment, OK? I know.
You could win a fortune, though.
You have a theory.
We put it into practical terms and we assess the results.
I'll win.
You put a dollar the first race, and then you have to double it for each subsequent race.
Understood.
Also, in science, we tend to keep our experiments confidential until all the results and data are in.
Don't tell Mum? Exactly.
- Hello? - Hi.
Debbie! How are you? Good.
How is it? Tell me everything.
It's fine.
Don't drown me in detail.
Fine.
I'm a prisoner in a hateful place and my every moment is spent despising you.
How are Dad and David? Great.
I think they're up to something, but What's that? Mum, they're making me get off.
What? I'll try you on the weekend.
Well, let me speak to the pers Shit! Debbie! Hang on.
You stay there.
Hi.
OK, 3:25.
Um, "I miss Gary.
" Yes! That doesn't prove anything.
I bet you think that all the time.
True.
'Cause you wanna pash him and you're turning into a frigid nun with icicles in your undies.
Correct.
OK, you.
Um3:18.
OK, um "I wonder if it's cold in.
"What if my top comes off, "they see my incredible breasts, "faint, fall off their boards and drown?" And "What a spunk!" Yes! Unreal! Unreal! OK, question.
Woody Should I just keep going with that? He's outside right now.
Of course he is.
He's like a dog that got an unexpected treat, and now he's just gonna hang around.
Till he throws me a boner.
God, I miss you! I know, it's unbearable! He's knocking.
I don't want him to think that we're going round.
What if he tells his friends? Woody doesn't have friends.
Yeah, well, what if he's trying to make some and tells them? I don't wanna be a slut who does it with weirdos.
OK, clarify to him that this is still just an experiment and if he tells anyone, you'll tell your dad that Woody wrestled you to the ground and fingered you and your dad will smash him like he smashed Straccy.
OK.
Great.
I need you, madam.
I need you.
Oh! I'm going to some restaurant called Darcy's with Nancy.
Who's Nancy? Oh, she's my bed neighbour.
She's funny.
Anyway, her mum's coming up from Deniliquin.
And they have this dessert that they set fire to at the table.
Amazing! Great.
Yeah, it's probably gonna be stupid.
Just kind of annoying.
I'm sure her mum's hateful.
Hateful? Yeah, that's what they say here.
Everything's "hateful".
Hateful.
I-I gotta go.
Oi! OK, cunnilingus.
Why are there orange segments? I might taste gross.
The book talks about flavoured douches, says you shouldn't use them.
And I quote, "You don't put peach sauce on scampi.
" II don't know what that means.
It means we're venturing into the unknown.
The oranges are for your benefit.
OK.
Uh, can I see the diagram? I think I got it.
Start slow.
OK.
Was it OK? Not unpleasant.
Like eating an oyster.
But you don't get to swallow.
Dickhead! You liked it? You seemed to.
Yeah.
Good.
Engaged, huh? It's been engaged for two hours.
It's all the rich kids ringing home.
"Mother, I'm cold.
Please send me my mink coat.
" I think most of them are from the country.
Well, we're going shopping, sweetheart, if you wanna come with us.
I'm not that desperate.
Oh, come on, sad sack.
I haven't embarrassed you out in public for days.
But there are other girls, Sue.
It's unhealthy having just one friend.
Why? Because when they're killed in a car crash, you won't have anyone to talk to about it.
Dad! Bloody hell, Roger.
Look, my point remains.
Let's spread the love.
You can't stay cooped up in here, not talking to anyone else.
Come on, love.
Hello? Oh, hi, Cheryl.
Yeah.
Ming Dynasty, followed by Clive's No Poor Man, Runaway Agenda and Salamander last of all.
500 metres left to go Monosyllables.
All I get is monosyllables.
I deserve more.
I deserve strings of verbs and occasional adjectives.
Oh, I'm just ranting.
She's just still angry at me, I guess.
It'll pass.
Yeah, I suppose.
Whoo! What's with him? Whoo! Who knows? I might take him for a drive.
You two and your drives.
What do you do? It's fun.
We talk about 'Star Wars' Hey.
Have you spoken to Debbie? Yeah.
How is she? She's going to some fancy dinner with her stupid-faced friend to some stupid-faced place called Darcy's where they shove stupid food in their stupid mouths.
Alright.
What's your problem? I find it hateful.
Hateful? Exactly.
Yeah, well, the whole thing really shits me.
Me too.
I wanna tell her things, and I think I might explode.
And the phone's engaged.
Yeah, or she's in Latin.
Who bloody speaks Latin? Not even Italians speak Latin.
Her olds are such dicks, man.
I don't know.
I need to talk to her.
What about? Tell me.
I'll pretend to be her.
Seriously.
I won't wank you off afterwards.
You're a freak.
I know! You're a freak.
And I'll tell you mine.
My dad came home.
Shit.
Shit is right.
Where's he been? I don't know.
I don't care.
What do you wanna talk to her about? Oh, um Come on.
Cat got your tongue? Razor blade! Probably Straccy.
Oh, God.
Show me! A lot of money, huh? You alright? Yeah.
What'll we do with it? I've got an idea.
Hold on.
Chocolate Royals? No way! Oh, come on, Rog.
I wanna make it nice.
It's a Tupperware party.
We're trying to make money.
Can't you get Marie biscuits instead? Marie biscuits?! Come on, Rog.
An Iced VoVo's at least middle ground here.
OK.
Come on now, look, we're gonna be fine.
Any day now, the jobs will start to flow in.
And when they do, I'll get down on my knees and I'll handfeed you Chocolate Royals.
Until then, we gotta keep a tight rein on things, yeah? Oh, right.
So I take it you'll be drinking cheap Scotch from now on? There's no need to be stupid about it.
A man's gotta keep his spirits up.
I bloody thought so.
I like winning.
Ace colour.
I call it cherry cola.
Do you mix pink and black? Yeah.
Nice highlights, moll.
Up yours! I call it algae green.
Cheryl, have you ever had a guy do .
.
cunnilingus? I don't speak Greek.
What is that? Like, put his head down there and his tongue and, like, go for it.
Like, lick you out.
Yeah.
No.
Have you? It was it was kind of OK.
At first, it was like a slug let loose in my pants.
But then it was kinda strange.
But in a good way.
Hey, everyone! This moll let some Bankie go Paddle Pop on her vag! Oh! That's disgusting! What about you, Vicki? I saw her in the car park with a mouthful of Candy.
Mr Candy.
She was sucking him off.
Shut up, you moll! Uh, ladies, so this .
.
is very handy.
Very handy, this one.
You, um You put things in that.
And, uh, this one, well, you put .
.
round things in that.
Alright, ladies, look, I've got my brochures somewhere around You know what? Why don't you have yourself a drink, use your imagination and buy something? You won't be disappointed.
I think that I might just get the round ones.
Oh, that's a very good choice, Yvonne, the round ones.
Very good choice.
Um Ferris came back.
Shit! Did you throw the prick out? It was so strange.
There was just this slow-motion thing going, and We looked at each other, and it was electric.
It was I just stood where I was standing and he came up to me and And? And we had sex! Animal, from-behind sex.
Wow.
Roger, go away, darling.
II just I don't know what to do.
There's there's Graham.
He's gonna pick me up soon.
Well, what do you want? Well, Graham has been a godsend in terms of my development as a person.
I'm a different a different being.
But, um But Ferris is my husband, and there's just this Electric, slow-motion, animal thing sort of going on? Yes! Right.
Well, I think I need a drink on that note! I thought we could go to the pictures tonight.
I'm sorry, I I need to have a night with Gary.
Of course.
How is he? OK.
You're a good mother, Yvonne.
And you're a lovely man.
Thank you! What? Nothing.
That's all.
What do you think you're doing, Mum? I thought I'd make a curry.
Your dad loves curry.
Are you serious? Don't make trouble.
Everything will be fine.
You just need to keep calm.
Mum Why are you even letting him stay? Throw him out, Mum! It's his house.
He's allowing us to stay.
Bullshit.
I asked a lawyer months ago.
Fucking hell.
And if he catches you with Graham? Well, just keep calm and God, I'm feeling dizzy.
You're pissed.
Tipsy, perhaps.
Curry.
Oh, that's amazing! I was just saying I was gonna make a curry.
Ferris provides.
I'm out of here.
Drive safely now! Oh, that was fun! And what should we do about Maisie? Oh, we'll let her sleep it off, I suppose.
I counted out your orders.
We made $96.
30.
Oh, bloody sweet.
Minus the cost of the Tupperware, the food and the booze, a profit of $11.
40.
Oh.
Ah.
Who's in my bed? You remember Maisie.
She used to own the craft shop.
Why is she in my bed? She's drunk, sweetheart.
I thought it was a Tupperware party.
People get excited about Tupperware.
I hate this.
Darling, what's happened? I hate that Debbie's gone.
I hate that every other girl in this suburb is an untrustworthy bitch.
Well, this strikes me as a mother/daughter conversation.
I'll go and grab us a barbecued chook.
Hey, darling, why don't you call Deb, hmm? 'Cause she's at some fancy restaurant, being posh and eating a fiery dessert.
You know what? I hid some of the Chocolate Royals from your dad.
Eh? Do you wanna eat 'em all before he gets back? Yeah? Thank you.
So, where are you from, Debbie? Cronulla.
Uh-huh.
Out on the beach.
Oh.
How's Dad? He's busy.
Cropping.
Must be beautiful out in the country.
If you like flat land that goes on forever, it is.
No, I love it.
I'm just not sure why.
Does it look good? The season? You don't have to worry about that.
I am definitely having the abalone! You can't get abalone in Deni.
Really? Uh-uh.
My dad dives for abalone all the time.
Really? Oh, wow! You are lucky! I will have the bucatini.
I might just go to the bathroom.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you OK? You look startled.
What are you doing here? How did you know? Sue told me, and I remembered the name of it.
I, um I couldn't go home.
I don't know.
I just had to see you before I went crazy.
I'm at this dinner.
I can't I know.
I just had to.
I hate it there so much.
I actually cannot believe they've done this to me.
I hate them.
Every night, I remind myself how much.
I miss you like crazy.
I miss you too.
Debbie? Oh, Mrs Travers.
Sorry, I, um Hi.
Um, I'm Gary.
Sorry to, um, interrupt your dinner.
I just need to talk to Debbie for a few minutes.
Oh.
How romantic.
No! Yes.
How long is it since you've seen her? Four weeks, one day.
Then you'd better come in and join us for dinner.
I'm sure they can find you a jacket.
Come.
Come on! We'll eat bucatinis and set our dessert on fire.
And they're really nice.
Did you fart, or is that just the way you smell now? Funny.
Not if you're the one smelling it.
Cheryl, shut up.
Did you want a milkshake as well, Nat? Yeah, love.
Thanks.
What are you doing? We've gotta come to an understanding.
Piss off.
You've gotta start to show me some respect, you understand? Ah! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Whenever I want, you understand? Whenever I want.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Lovely.
Got you some smokes as well.
What are you doing up, chicken? Is he asleep? Yeah.
He rooted me.
Don't be stupid.
A couple of months ago, picked me up from school and took me for a drive, pulled into the bush and he rooted me.
What, so he he raped you? No.
Wake up! Did you root Cheryl?! Did you?! 'Cause that's what she's sayin'! The lying bitch.
Well, why would she say it? She's always sticking it in my face.
So, did you or not? Tell me, go on! No.
I'm going for a drive.
Are you lying? Are you? No.
Well, I think you are.
I think that you want to ruin this for me.
You selfish bitch.
Mum, I'm not lying.
I've seen you! You wave it in his face.
Cheryl, are you jealous? Are you jealous? Or do you think that you're better than me? Smarter? Well, you're gonna leave school next year and get a shitty job.
And we'll see who the smart one is.
But Candy's pretty great.
Really clean and not salty.
You know how all the boys around here are salty? He's not.
Do we need more cinnamon? Nuh.
Anyway, I'm gonna leave school.
They're gonna give me a manager's job here.
And I'm gonna earn $76 a week.
A week! A lot of money.
You could do it too.
Get a job at Fruit Barn.
We could hang out all the time.
At Fruit Barn? Sue! Hey.
Vicki wanted to apologise for being a moll.
No, I don't.
She does.
Want a doughnut? Take a dozen.
OK.
Thanks.
Sorry for being such a bitch.
You always are.
Yeah, I know.
I'm a selfish bitch.
We were just planning Vicki and Mr Candy's wedding.
Piss off! Sorry.
I'm gonna go for a smoke.
You wanna come? It's not your break.
Fire me, bitch.
You gonna go to uni? I guess so.
Mum and Dad want me to.
Could be fun.
How come you didn't ask me? What? How come you didn't ask me if I'm going to uni? 'Cause I don't care.
Well Cheryl! Hi.
I was just going past.
Debbie's away at Yeah, I know.
You look really pretty.
Oh! Thank you.
I could kill a cup of tea.
How's your mum? Do you remember teaching me in Grade 4? How could I forget the turtles? I didn't know that they would die.
The shells seemed really hard.
Hmm Anyway.
Was I smart? Yes.
I don't I don't know whether I'm smart or not.
I don't do well in school, but I don't try real hard either.
I just I don't wanna be some moll at the doughnut store, knocked up to some drongo, with screaming brats everywhere and no future.
You don't have to be.
Do you reckon I can get my HSC? Please don't lie to me.
You don't have to worry about my feelings.
I barely have any.
Oh, well, I don't think that's true.
So? You're smart enough to get your HSC.
With work.
Would you help me? Help you? Uh, I I'm very busy.
Cheryl, you just need to create a routine and a disciplined environment.
Yeah.
Great.
Thanks.
Bye.
Cheryl? I find it hard creating a disciplined routine at home.
Tch Did you win? No.
Because your mother can't hit a lob.
I get dizzy with all that looking up.
Then you should just let me take care of them.
Oh, it's just a game, Rog.
It's just a game that we should have won, sweetheart.
Dad, relax.
Roger, you'll be pleased to know I've decided to get a job.
Grace Bros have ads for perfume sales.
You'll get discounts! No.
Yeah, you do.
15%, I think.
No - then everyone's gonna know that we're in trouble.
You're not getting a job.
Oh, so what? Shit happens to people.
People understand that.
Look, I forbid it.
You can't forbid.
We don't forbid.
I do.
I am.
Look, enough! Bloody hell.
I'm serious, you two.
Bugger you.
And look, you're not getting a job, Pamela.
End of story.
And for once, you're gonna do as you're told! Yeah? Just drove.
All the way to Darwin and back.
That's great.
I'd love to do that.
Yeah, well, sometimes a man's just gotta fuck off.
Clear his head.
You know, after the whole Celia thing, I thought, "One day I'm just gonna put a gun in my mouth.
" Hey, go easy, mate! It's the grind, mate.
You know, I was done with it.
I mean, aren't you? I'd say it's done with me, more like it.
Oh, you gotta do it, you know? Just leave it all.
Live.
Well, if it's so great out there, why'd you come back here? I missed 'em.
So, what are you gonna do now? Work a couple of days a week.
Concentrate on being a good husband, I suppose.
Oh, yeah? So no more playing away? On my drive .
.
I fucked 34 women.
Two Abos, a Thai.
Had a Norwegian with the reddest snatch you ever saw.
Yeah? Jesus! I kinda got it out of my system, you know? I guess that'd help you .
.
help you get over her and Graham, eh? Graham? Who the fuck's Graham? We had dessert at the end and they lit it on fire.
Say that again? They set the dessert on fire.
That is ridiculous! It's called crepe suzette.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, it's pretty delish.
And burnt.
How do you know that? 'Cause I can read, moll.
Is that your dad? One sec.
Who's Graham? Dad, I don't Who's Graham? I don't fucking know.
Loyalty.
Yeah? Loyalty! You going out? Nah.
Hey, you went to the dinner! Yeah.
Why didn't you take me? It was a spur of the moment.
And I didn't wanna take you.
So, was it weird and posh? Did Debbie hate it? Nah, they're cool.
Her friend's great, and her mum was cool.
She let me have dinner.
And then she let us hang out before she went.
God, I hate you! You sure her friend isn't a bitch? I'm sure.
I heard about your dad.
See you later.
What about us? Us, who? The family unit.
She caused trouble.
She is gone the minute she does.
She knows that.
Darling I know you miss Debbie.
But having Cheryl This isn't about Debbie.
I've told her she has to wear pants.
There's a dress code.
One thing I have to ask, and obviously this is a difficult thing When you were in the car .
.
manhandling yourself at speed, was it about her? Jesus, Judy! Just yes or no.
Honestly.
Because we have to be honest.
If it was, she cannot stay.
No, it wasn't about her! She's a kid! OK.
- Hi, darling.
- Hi.
OK, time for some English.
Hey, sprog.
I'm so glad she's back! Ooh! A letter from Debbie, sweetheart.
Well, go easy.
So, what's she say? Yes! She went out to dinner at some posh joint.
It was miserable.
Tasted weird.
Friend was a cow who was rude.
Food tasted like old meat in a sauce of penguin vomit.
Oh, dear! That's so lovely.
What, penguin vomit? No, you don't get it.
Oh, well, clearly not.
She's lying.
Gary said she had a great time.
4:14.
Debbie Vickers, you are ace.