Pulling (2006) s02e03 Episode Script

1 H hello? Look Ian, I'm sorry to burst in like this but I have to get this sorted.
I've got LCA calling at three this afternoon and we still haven't gone through the budgets for Ian? My mum's dead.
What? She just keeled over and her heart stopped.
She'd been lying there for eight hours.
Oh my god.
Is she alright? Well, no, she's dead Donna.
Oh God, yes, sorry, sorry, I wasn't thinking.
I saw her on Friday, she was fine, sheI mean.
OK.
Right.
Sorry, Donna, you were saying about LCA - I'm just a bit-- - Ian, forget that, I'll sort that out.
Well, they're going to be here at three and I've got an appointment scheduled at twelve.
Hi, Liam? It's Donna.
Look, Ian's had some bad news.
I want you to cancel all of his meetings and book him a car.
Immediately.
What? No, it's a personal matter I can't say on the phone No, it's private.
No, I'm not gonna say What? Well I can't get authorization from Ian, can I, his fucking Mum's just died.
Right listen Ian, I've booked you a car and that will take you to the hospital, OK? What about my meeting? I just don't know how I'm going to get through this.
I can't believe she's gone.
Look at me Ian, she's not gone.
Okay.
She's alive in your thoughts and in your memories and all those years that you shared with her.
And as long as you still love her there's a part of her that will never die.
Thank you, thank you Donna.
That really helps.
Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.
I I'll come back later, sorry.
Well done, he's gorgeous.
- Karl? - Hello Tanya.
How are you? What are you? A bit of - Bit of shopping, yeah.
- Me too! I ran out of toilet roll so I just thought I'd in case Igot the runs it's a good little shop, they've got everything really.
Vaseline, scissorssellotape Right, well I'm not planning a kidnapping, so Oh yeah, yeah, that's good.
That's a good Look Karl, I'm glad I've seen you because, well I wanted to say sorry about the way I behaved.
- OK.
- I mean we slept together, it was one of those things, that was it, but I shouldn't have told Donna.
I'm sorry Karl, I really am.
I think it's just you were the first person I slept with since Dan and I just, god, it was just a one night stand and that is it.
Well, maybe I've been a bit odd as well.
Thanks Tanya.
Let s just get things back to normal, eh? Definitely, for god's sake, let's just forget that we've seen each other naked.
Although I must say that you do have a very beautiful cock.
I'm joking Karl! Yeah.
And you had a very tasty minge.
Well, I'm glad we've had this talk, Karl.
Yeah, yes.
Me too.
I'll see ya.
Oh, I'm having some friends around tonight for a drink, bit of a mini party.
I don't know if you wanna come round? Oh, I dunno Tanya Yeah, no, of course.
No problem Karl.
Tanya? Look, I tell you what, I'll just pop in.
If that's OK? Great.
Starts at eight.
I'll see you then.
Oh, and can you not make any references to eating out my pussy at the party.
It's just not really that sort of crowd.
I just don't know if you're responsible enough to look after a cat, I mean, who's gonna take it for walks? You don't need to look after cats, they just do their own thing.
Well as long as you're not expecting me to look after it, 'cause I've got to run this place.
You're running it for a week.
Yeah but who knows what that might lead.
I'll be quite sorry when Richard gets back off holiday.
I'm enjoying the respect.
I think table five needs clearing, Oleg.
Fuck the ass of the table.
Yeah, I was quite nervous at first, but you really get into it.
Hello.
Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work? Oh, no, Ian's mum's just died so I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Oh, poor sod.
Yeah.
He found out while I was in the room with him.
I'm sort of in shock - God, do you want a cup of tea? - Oh, thanks Louise.
Because I'm doing this deal where you get a cup of tea and flapjack for £2.
40.
Er, yeah, I'll have that.
Yeah, it was weird.
I just went into this sort of take control mode.
Like I just instantly knew what to say.
I was kind of brilliant, actually.
Even Ian was impressed and he was completely self-absorbed.
It was amazing, it was like I was born to do it.
I just feel like, well, maybe I've found my vocation.
I'm a natural born councillor.
- What, you? - I'm brilliant with people in pain.
I need to find more people in pain.
And help them.
What are you doing later? One flap-a-tea.
Name I gave it.
I think it'll catch on.
What, like your cuppa-teano? Oh.
It's Ian.
I said if he needed me, so.
Hi Ian.
No, no, it's fine.
Of course it's fine.
Yeah, yeahWell that's perfectly natural.
If you weren't feeling like that you wouldn't be human.
Yeahyeahand what you've got to remember is, as long as you still love her there's a part of her that will never die Yeah, that's no problem.
Bye.
It's a gift.
- Right, well I think we're all here-- - What? Alex, Pete, this is Karl.
Yes, that Karl.
Haven't been fucked like that since I was a teenager.
You know, when it hurts, but really good hurts? Right, well, I've got a few more bits to do.
Oh, Karl, before you sit down Would you be a love and pop upstairs and read Leon a quick story, just to get him off to sleep so then we can all relax? He can't wait.
He's been talking about it all afternoon.
It's disgusting.
I'm allergic to its ugliness.
What are you gonna do with it? What do you mean what am I gonna do with it? I'm just gonna have a cat.
It likes me.
It understands me.
It smells of death.
And it's gonna piss everywhere.
No won't, I made it a cat flap.
Why is it bleeding? What? - It's not bleeding.
- He is, it's bleeding from its arse.
Oh my god, I hate it.
Oh that's nice.
That's really nice.
Good counseling skills Donna.
I'm not gonna counsel a cat, am I? Yeah, but what about me? I might care a little bit that the only living thing in this world that understands me is bleeding from its fucking arse.
Oh, well look, sorry.
I think Karen? Don't get any of its dirty arse blood on the stairs.
Oleg, can I run something by you.
I was thinking of moving table five over by the window and turning the table for two into a table for four, - what do you think? - I think suck my balls.
Oleg! You can't say suck my balls.
Here it means something quite rude.
Louise, I know what it mean, OK? Look, let's clear the air OK.
All I said was if you're declogging the sink with one hand what s the point in having the other hand idle when there's salads to toss? And why don't I stir soup with my penis at the same time? Is in the middle, yes? Excuse me, is the manager here? Yes, I'm the manager, well the acting manager, but I am in charge, in charge of all this, all that you can see.
Maybe I should just wait and - talk to the actual manager because-- - No, talk to me.
because I'm an artist, you see and You can talk to me about anything.
I just wanted to see whether they'd be interested in showing my work in here? Yeah, we're interested.
You haven't seen them.
We're still interested.
I haven't made my decision because I haven't seen them.
Pop one out.
OK.
Right.
Oh wow.
- You like it? - It's fantastic.
I love it.
I really, really love it.
So you think there's a chance you might hang them? Oh I definitely think there's a chance, - a very good chance.
- She can't take that decision.
Oleg, please, can you - just leave this to-- - Is not her decision.
Can't you take that decision? Oh yeah, I can take that - decision.
It's just-- - Is Richards decision.
It's the manager's decision.
Richard is Manager, not Louise.
I am the manager, Richard is not here - and I am-- - So can you take that decision then? - Yes, I, I could, I-- - She can't take that decision, is Richards decision.
Bring them in.
Bring them all in.
I want all of them.
You read her son a bedtime story? She just asked me to, what could I say? It was a nightmare.
She fed me taramasalata from her finger.
I think this might have a lot to do with your relationship - with your mother.
- Donna, can you please stop counselling me.
I'm not counselling you, I'm helping you.
By counselling you.
And you should appreciate it.
- Ian did.
- I'm taking him kite flying tomorrow.
I don't think he's ready for kite flying Karl, his Mums just died and oh, Leon.
Why are you doing that? She asked me in front of Pete and Alex.
Well, they were smiling.
What could I do? They were all smiling at me.
Well just tell her you're busy.
I can't.
It's all arranged.
He doesn't even like me, Donna.
- I think he hates me.
- He doesn't hate you.
He said I hate you.
- He was joking - He called me a cock-sucker.
Look, the thing to remember is that traps tend to be of our own making.
And what you have to ask yourself is if this is a trap, what is the trap? What is the mechanism of the trap and what part of you is caught in it? And does it sting? I'm thinking of doing a course.
You not going out tonight? Doesn't look like it, does it? Is it because of the catsbum? Yeah, it's funny isn't it Louise? You and Donna must be having a right old laugh.
We're not laughing, really, it's, it's sad but you know, we just think you should take it to the vets and see what the problem is.
Yeah, 'cause I can afford that.
We'll help.
- What? - Yeah, well, we were talking and we thought we'd help foot the bill.
Oh.
Well that'sthat's, good.
I'll erm, I'll look into that, thanks.
- Do you wanna? - No, no that's, no.
Hello, Tanya.
Ah, come in then.
Leon's been talking about you all day.
Karl this, Karl that, when's Karl coming, - Karl's my new Daddy.
- What? Actually not that, but he's really taken a shine to you.
Yeah, right, look Tanya, I'm not sure if this is such a great Leon, look who's here! It's Karl.
Uncle Karl! It's Karl! Leon, it's Karl! He has not stopped going on about you, Leon, look, it's Karl! It's Karl! It's Karl! Leon, it's Karl! Someone has really got a fan there.
Come on then statue, give him a hug.
- Alright Leon? - Aww.
Right, well I'd better go.
Do you mind locking up, here are the keys.
May as well keep those.
I had them cut for you anyway.
- What? Look Tanya, I really think.
- Just relax Karl, don't worry.
Leon loves you.
Look at you, Team America.
- You popping round tonight? - What? Well, whatever you like.
But I've got us a chicken.
See you later.
You two boys.
Prick.
Hmmmmm.
What do you think? Yeah, they're not quite what I expected, but I think they're really growing on me.
JESUS, FUCK.
What the hell do you think you're doing, Ian? I wanted to get your attention.
By putting your thumb into my armpit? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Donna.
I've just come back from the town hall and I've had to, you know, write down her details for the death certificate.
Oh.
Well, that's.
It's just writing it out.
Writing her name, Ina, just there in black and white.
Look Ian, I'm sure - did you say her name's Ina? - Yes.
Right.
Well I really think Ina wouldn't is that a name? Ina? Are you sure you mean Ina? Yeah, yeah, her name was Are you sure you're not saying Enid? - No, her name was-- - Ina? I mean there's an Irish name Iffy.
Her name was Ina, Donna, please.
Sorry, sorry.
Oh look Ian, don't cry.
Because that's, I mean do, do cry, because it's good to get it out, but you know, don't cry here because well, these people are your - subordinates and-- - No, I know, sorry.
Look at me.
I'm a mess.
It's just that what you said beforeit helped me.
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Erm, well, look Ian, she, she, she, had a good innings.
She was fifty eight.
Alright, well, you know, the thing is Ian that - you know, as long as you still love her- Yeah.
there's a part of her that will never die.
OK.
Right, it's just that - What? - Well that's what you said before.
So? It doesn't make it any less true.
Yeah.
You're right.
Donna, think maybe I'm just going to need - a little-- - Ina Sharples! Yes! Of course.
Of course it's a name.
One brownie and a cup-o-teeno.
A brown-o-teeno.
Enjoy.
Oh and if you're interested in any of the artworks, there s a price list by the till.
Donna, thank God you're here.
Are theseis that? I mean is that a handful of? Yeah.
Look Donna, you've gotta help me.
You've gotta talk to Tanya.
She's bought a chicken.
Donna, she's bought us a chicken, she wants me to go round there, then Ange turned up, she was smiling, they were all smiling, - I mean what could I do? What am I supposed to do? - Karl, calm down, take a sip of your cup-a-teeno and - tell me what the problem is.
- It's Tanya, she's It's Tanya, she's mental, you've gotta talk to her.
She took a photo of me and Leon on her mobile she's making a Christmas card out of it.
Donna, you've gotta help.
Talk to her.
Use your counselling skills.
Well, I'm not really qualified yet, but - what do you want me to say? - Tell her to fuck off! But don't say I said it.
Alright, I'll talk to her.
Listen Karl, I want you to understand that this isn't your fault.
OK? If it wasn't you it would be someone else, you're clearly being manipulated.
It is not your fault.
Next time just don't be so weak.
Are you alright? Everything OK? Enjoying yourself? Oh, I see you re not eating? Anything to with the turds - on the walls? - Right, Richard, stop calling them the turds , it's art, and yes we've got no customers, but controversy isn't easy, it's uncomfortable.
I like the one with the baguette 'cause that's oh my god, is that? In the bread? Who would do that? In bread? No-one is eating in my café! And thats the paintings fault? - Yes! Get them out of here! - Right.
I will.
I'll do that.
I'll take the paintings down and while I'm at it why don't I burn some books? War and Peace, Hamlet, Captain Corelli's Mandolin? Let s burn them all, would that make you happy? Hey! Hey you, take your glasses off and put that book down because Mr.
Flipping Pol Pot here will have you shot in the face.
- Oh, for fuck s-- - Who is it? What? Oh, it s just Ian.
Honestly, I don't want to sound heartless, but his grief is boring tits off me.
Hi So Anthony: first thing to say is that the exhibition looks great.
Really great.
Everyones been really floored by them.
But the thing is we were thinking that maybe, this isn't the right space for them.
Being that they are truly magnificent, but being that they are also, in a sense.
faecal matter based pieces, and, and, thing is Anthony that this is a café and people have to - eat and-- - I'm going to kill myself, you know that? and chew food here.
Well don t - do that because that would be-- - I know how to do it.
- I've looked it up.
- So would you consider bringing forward the closing date of the exhibition tonow? As you're here.
I'm gonna go home.
I'm gonna bleed my life out all over my studio floor because you re doing this to me.
Right, tell you what, great idea, how about if I buy them? All of them? I love them.
How much are they? All of them, how much? Forty thousand pounds.
- Right.
Little bit lower than that? - No.
OK.
Well I think maybe then, - we are going to have to ask you-- - Don t do this.
if you could take them-- - Don t do this to me.
- down, because-- - I'm going to kill myself, you know that? I'm going to take a knife, I'm gonna open a vein Right, well it's quite serious I'm afraid.
Now, we can operate but it could still be touch and go.
She's being very brave, I think she's in some pain.
Isn't there just some cream or something, I mean I had something similar and I got rid in a few weeks.
Yes, yes, creams are good but there isn't really one for cancer.
Is,sorry, what's her name? Catty? Catty.
Is Catty insured? No.
I didn't think she'd was worth anything.
No, but I mean has she health cover? Because these things can be quite How much is it gonna cost? Well it should be in the region of seven hundred pounds.
Right.
OK.
Well, erm I'm gonna need to make a couple phone calls.
Is that OK? Sure, go ahead.
Take your time.
Yeah, alright, I'm in the vets it s gonna be about 700 quid yeah, I know alright, I'll just clear it with Louise then.
Bye.
Sorry about this.
Hiya.
Look the cat needs an operation and it s gonna be 700 quid yeahyeah I thought you'd say that.
Alright, see you later.
Yeah, we'd like to kill it please.
OK.
Well if that's the way you want to go then um, that shall be your cheapest option.
You are shitting me.
What are you gonna kill it with? A golden bullet? Bye then! And don't forget, anytime you fancy a lunch, you get a free soft drink here free.
For the next month.
Richard say you are loose canon.
Next time he go away, I am the boss of you.
Oh, suck my balls, Oleg.
Oh, Tanya, thank you so much for coming here.
Oh god Donna, no problem.
What's up, it sounded quite urgent on the phone.
Oh, I wouldn't say it's urgent, I just wanted to have a chat.
- It's about Karl.
- OK.
Look, first thing to say is that you should see me as a completely disinterested party, this isn't about me and Karl, what happens with you and him is absolutely fine with me.
- Right.
- I'm here to help.
And what I'm seeing is a person who's been hurt and this is you Tanya perhaps looking for solace in another human.
Perhaps the first human who comes along.
Perhaps the very first human she lets inside her.
What you on about, Donna? No, what I'm saying is that you shouldn't devalue yourself.
You are a strong, beautiful woman.
Dan left you.
That hurt.
He chucked you aside like aa piece of shit.
But that's not your fault.
Say it with me.
- What? - Come on.
Say it.
It s not my fault.
- What are you doing? - It s not my fault.
- Donna-- - It s not my fault.
- Fuck off, Donna.
- 'It's not my fault'.
Right, I want this to be quick, OK? - I don't want her to suffer.
- OK.
I'm gonna count to three, and on threealright.
Onetwo Jesus Christ, what are you doing? I said hit it on three! No, no I thought, you know like a splinter, use surprise.
Well hit it again, fucking hell, hit it again.
Oh.
On the head, Louise, on the head.
Tanya, will you just for five seconds shut up and let me help you, I am trying to help you.
Well why don't you just bloody well try and help yourself.
And if you can't do that why don't you just try and keep your trap shut.
This isn't about me, it s about you! It's about you and Karl.
You can't take Karl, dress him up in Dans clothes, put Dans hat on his head, call him Dan and then live the rest of your life with him locked up in the cellar, that's not right.
You don't know what Karl wants And to be honest you know, you're not the kind of person, and I am not being cruel or mean here Tanya, you re not the kind of person that he would touch with a ten foot Look, just be reasonable.
He is still grieving.
Grieving what? Me! He lost the love of his life! What? Oh dear.
You are delusional, Donna.
Shall I tell you what Karl said about you? Oh, for heaven s sake, when are you going to understand? It doesn't matter what Karl said about me, this isn't about me, - it's-- - He said that you were genetically incapable of love.
- What? - Yeah.
He said he thought you had something in you that was missing that didn't allow you to love other human beings.
No he didn'tso what? I don t care.
I'm not.
When did he? I don t care.
He likened it to someone being born with 'bits of them missing'.
He said it was sad, Donna.
Hehe didn't say that, that's Didn't he? Well maybe he didn't say that he thought you were an emotionally stunted, self-absorbed fantasist? Right, well, OK, great, I think that's er, that about, um I've got to get back to work, I've got eh, yeah, I better get back.
Tell Karl not to bother calling.
Because I can't be dealing with all this.
Leon thinks he's a wanker, anyway.
Donna, I wonder if I could have a word Oh really, Ian? Really? What about? Is it about your dead mother by any chance? You want me to make the pain go away? Well here s the news, the pain never goes away.
It's all pain.
It's all pain Ian, this whole world is pain.
Maybe you just didn't love her enough, did you think about that? But that is how we die, that's how we all die, alone and unloved.
That's how I'm gonna die, that's how you're gonna die and you can bet your shiny fucking head that's how your mother died.
So if you've come for the truth at last, if that's what you've come to talk about, then I'm all ears.
Actually Donna, it was erm, it was to discuss LCA's budgets.
Right.
We can talk about that too.
I'm sorry You sure you don t want to sit down? No, no, I just popped in to say Ispoke to Tanya and she got the message.
She won't be bothering you again.
Ah, that's great news.
That's fantastic, that's Thanks for that.
I would've done it myself but she scared the shit out of me.
It's no problem.
Are you alright? Yeah, yeah, great.
- You sure? - Yes.
Yeah, great.
You sure you don t wanna stay? I've got Troy on DVD.
No, I saw it at the cinema, it's shit.
Except the battle scenes.
They're quite look Karl, I think - What? - I think I thinkthere s quite a good making of on the DVD extras.
That's all.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah.
See you soon.