Rome s02e03 Episode Script
These Being the Words of Marcus Tullius Cicero
Rome 03 The boy is blameless.
That's my girl.
crowd: oooh.
Cack! You all right? you're looking pointy.
What's the news from ostia? Three grain ships from alex in.
mussa's people.
Have a cup of wine.
set you up.
Take 25, no less.
Give the lading to ajax.
Well, mussa will complain.
If he does, cut out his tongue.
You think i'm joking? I'll see to it now.
pullo: vorenus Nothing.
Memmio of the caelian is here.
He asked to see you.
vorenus: salve, memmio.
please sit down.
Weather's turning, eh? i like a bit of heat.
What brings you to the aventine, memmio? memmio: no chitchat.
Straight to cases.
i like that.
A young nephew of my colleague carbo here was defiled by an aventine man.
name of quintus bubo.
you know him? I know him.
With your permission, carbo wishes to avenge his family's honor - and kill this quintus.
- the boy's only 12.
He was sucking his cock for pennies.
He was paid, then? Yes, but he didn't ask me first.
The boy was paid.
Nobody in my family sucks cock without i say so.
Carbo is from respectable people.
The boy took money.
He was working as a prostitute.
Quintus bubo's committed no offense.
you won't touch him.
Brother vorenus, perhaps you misunderstand.
vorenus: i misunderstand nothing, brother.
I've been given strict mandate by mark antony to maintain the peace.
Quintus bubo is a man of property and respect.
You will not touch him.
Money or not though, he took advantage of the boy.
Perhaps some moderate form of punishment-- We come to you out of politeness.
a mere formality.
I've given you my answer.
Wrong fucking answer.
This maggot pisses on my name, on my family honor.
Control your man, memmio.
Vorenus, the man has a fair point.
Silence, pullo! Brother vorenus, in all candor, Even your own man knows-- My man doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.
I've given you my decision.
And we graciously accept your judgment.
I thank you for your time And i apologize for the disruption.
You didn't have to insult me in front of-- Do not question my authority in front of others.
Do not question my authority under any circumstances.
Authority? Hard being the boss, eh? Good stuff.
Is it? how does one tell? Try.
Hold your breath.
It's horrid.
In a minute, you'll feel delicious.
You know jocasta.
Do i? We met at a theater last year.
- i was with-- - what are you doing? We're inhaling hemp.
I can see that.
You're making the whole house stink.
- in the future, do it outside if you must.
- yes, mother.
- is it any good? - excellent.
Come here.
jocasta: i brought back two sacks from macedonia.
So much better than the italian kind.
Macedonia? Mmm.
papa has quarries there.
We're going there when antony takes up his governorship.
- what's it like? - my dear, it's ghastly.
Oh? Filthy climate, vile food, - beastly people.
- perhaps you didn't mix in quite the best society.
Oh no, papa is hideously rich, But there's no society to be found.
The men are overly fond of fucking their sheep.
And when you meet the women, you can hardly blame them.
It truly is the end of the world.
I'm no snob, octavia, And i don't mind that you bring home a tradesman's daughter But let's just stop there, shall we? No actors, no gladiators, or that sort of thing, neh? Don't mind her.
She's been an infernal grump since octavian left.
Send to ask antony when he's coming home.
no, don't.
A fig for him.
Yes, domina.
timon is waiting, Asking if it pleases you to see him.
Mmm.
Domina.
- domina-- - go away.
- but merula said-- - changed my mind.
Hello, duro.
Yes, it's good.
It's good.
Very good! Hello, abba.
we're learning hebrew.
- i can see that.
- they'll be reading torah in no time.
I can't wait.
atia: you came in very late last night.
Business.
Business involving wine, vomit and sex.
I'm sorry, did i disturb you? No, not at all.
But do please wake me before you come at me so.
It will be a little less Alarming.
I was thinking about macedonia.
were you? Do we have to go? Can't we just stay here? No.
Once my consulship is over, we're gone.
but it's so far from rome.
They have dressmakers and jewel merchants in the desert just like here.
Once you're gone from italy Your enemies will no longer fear you And you will be powerless to strike at them.
I don't want to strike at them.
There's no juice in it anymore.
I want peace and quiet and a nice rich province to squeeze.
- peace and quiet? - mm-hmm.
While you're swilling wine in macedonia, Do you think brutus and cassius will be idle? Those abject creatures? Abject only while you have power.
Your enemies will not rest until you are dead.
You have a wolf by the ears.
you cannot let go of him now.
Pass the oil, would you? man: make way! Well, thank you.
thank you very much.
We'll see you next week? yeah, okay.
- brother! - who was that man? - who? - the man you were speaking with.
Oh, you mean barak.
he's a saffron trader.
Doesn't look like a saffron trader.
Not everybody looks like what they are.
Huh? ( laughs ) Justice, captain! - i beg for justice! - who's this? Quintus bubo and his wife.
Gelded by memmio's boys.
Please, captain, justice! pullo: come on.
calm down, brother.
The old man shouldn't have been goating around anyhow.
- memmio disobeyed me.
- well he didn't kill the old fool at least.
- he disobeyed me! - let me go talk to memmio.
- i'll sort out a compromise.
- no.
If you punish carbo over this trivia, Memmio is going to take it as disrespect.
He'll have to retaliate.
you'll start a gang war.
Very likely, but i've got no choice.
- and it's your fault.
- what? How is it my fault? You questioned my authority in front of memmio.
- that gave him license to disobey me.
- oh, bollocks.
Now, you go and find carbo.
You show him the same disrespect that he has shown me.
- everyone is in the wrong here.
- i gave you an order.
This isn't the mumping legion.
i take orders from no man.
Then you're no use to me.
you, go and do it.
Will do, captain.
You are thinking all backwards.
I warned you about questioning my authority.
you learn your place.
My place? well, fuck you, you miserable bastard, I'm the one trying to keep you alive.
Oh, you'd like nothing better than to start a gang war, eh? Get yourself killed.
put an end to all of your misery.
Take half the city with you.
Well, i tell you what-- you can die 1,000 times And it won't bring back niobe or the children or caesar! Listen, i'm your friend.
i'm trying to help you.
- you've never helped me.
- have i not? Well, who saved your life a dozen times? Who took care of that snake evander? Who carried you home when you were drunk? What do you mean? "took care of evander.
" Nothing-- it didn't mean anything.
What do you mean? Speak.
I killed him.
I found out what he'd done and killed him.
Listen, she loved you.
You were happy together.
what was i supposed to do? - if i'd told you, you would have killed him.
- get out! What was i supposed to do? Get out.
Atia thrives, i trust? She does.
she does.
And the rest of the family? Good enough.
- yes, a surprising boy, isn't he? - hmm? Octavian-- such vim and vigor for one so young.
They say its a considerable army he's raised.
Buying up all the fools and cripples in campagna - is hardly raising an army.
- ( laughs ) You are right, no doubt.
But many veterans also.
Eighth legion men.
seventh legion.
Sat on their backsides taking his money To cheer him as he goes by.
Caesar my ass.
But i didn't bring you here to talk of children.
Indeed, i await your pleasure.
( moans ) - when my term as consul is over - ( urinating ) I no longer wish to take the governorship of macedonia.
I wish to take gaul.
But decimus is governor of gaul.
Well, he can have macedonia if he likes.
I want gaul.
The weather's better.
I'm afraid that will be a bit difficult.
The senate may suppose you plan to emulate caesar, Camping your legions on our border.
Close enough to rome To scare us into doing anything you wish.
Steady on.
hadn't even crossed my mind.
I just prefer gaul.
But you understand why the senate Would not pass such a measure? You are the senate, cicero.
The next time we meet, Perhaps you will propose my governorship of gaul.
No one can make any trouble if the noble cicero is backing me.
I don't think that's a good idea.
No? Not that i do not wish to help you As a friend.
But the senate would know i was backing you Only through fear of death.
Oh.
Oh, i understand.
You do not want to seem cowardly.
tell them i bribed you.
Would you accept a bribe? I would not.
Oh, rich enough, huh? Well, it's always worth a try.
Well, you leave me only one option then.
It always comes to this.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Such times we live in.
Please, go on.
make your threats.
I don't like to submit to mere implication.
Hmm.
There's a question i've always wanted to ask you.
Your old friend crassus, When he was captured by the parthians, Is it true that they poured molten gold down his throat? Because that would really sting.
Thank you.
It is correct, what you say.
The weather in macedonia is Dreadful.
I thought maybe you'd want to know a bit more - than what i said.
- i don't.
You should know niobe wasn't-- she wasn't-- Don't speak of her.
It's in the past.
it is done.
Brother, i'm sorry i kept it from you.
I thought it was for the best.
i'm sorry.
I forgive you, brother.
I understand why you didn't tell me.
I understand.
I hear you say that, but-- I mean it.
I forgive you.
How could i not forgive you, pullo? You're all i've got left in life.
Keeping me alive, eh? Speaking of that, this business with the caelians-- - what of it? - we can still stop it turning into a war.
Let carbo pay a fine.
If i go talk quietly to memmio We can sort it out so that no one loses face.
You suggested that before.
Worth a go.
better than a war.
You may be right.
you may be.
But it's too late now.
Move.
Salve, carbo.
Get him up.
Tell your mistress i have a message from her son.
Oh, piss and blood! Ahem.
forgive the intrusion.
I was entranced.
Who are you? I am marcus vipsanius agrippa, A friend of caesar-- Of octavian as was.
Have i the honor of speaking to his sister octavia? Yes.
is my brother here? There's nothing wrong, is there? he's all right? No-- yes.
I mean, no, he's not here.
but yes, he's well.
I left him five days ago thriving.
Happy.
- i am to convey his best wishes to you.
- no letter? I told him he ought to write, but you know how he is.
Please.
In place of writing, i am charged to tell you that he loves you as ever And to answer verbally any questions you may have, Consonant with political security.
He's grown no less pompous then.
It suits him better now than at school.
He's a powerful man.
So everyone says.
i cannot believe it.
My little brother.
Your little brother has an army 10,000 strong.
I have written him 100 times Asking him to stop this madness.
- but he does not listen to me.
- on the contrary.
I think you're the only person in the world he does listen to.
Is this the messenger? This is agrippa, A friend of octavian.
Deeply honored.
And so? He asked that i make certain you're well, And to assure you of his respect and fidelity.
We're very well.
And as for his respect and fidelity-- ( scoffs ) He begs that in the name of family You keep an open mind as to your future prospects.
You came all the way from campagna to say that? - i have other business.
- with whom? I am not at liberty to say.
Oh, intrigue is it? I imagine you're a master.
Does mark antony know that you're in the city? I expect there are a great many citizens whose location is unknown to the coul.
True, but he does like to know - where the traitors are.
- mother! Well, they are traitors, aren't they? Antony is consul in rome, And octavian is deliberately challenging him.
If this is not a traitor, i don't know what is.
I have said what i must.
I will take your leave to go.
Tell my son i-- No, tell him nothing.
Send to tell antony that marcus agrippa is in the city.
Mother, no! Who knows what antony will do to him! Nothing pleasant, i would think.
He's your son's friend.
I have no son.
- hey! - althea, my honey.
how goes it? You know you're not allowed in the kitchen.
But i'm hungry.
You won't tell on me, will you? Mmm.
you should try some.
We've been waiting for you.
Keep waiting, honey.
where's your mistress? - never mind about my mistress.
- i want to speak to her.
She doesn't speak to the like of you.
And i don't speak to the like of you.
She wants the job done, she'll see me.
You speak to me.
Maybe some other time.
servilia: wait.
So you're servilia then, are you? Choice.
very choice.
Address me by my name again And i'll have your tongue nailed to a wagon wheel.
Forgive me.
i've not spoken to nobility before.
- what's his name? - duro.
Duro.
Eleni was right.
You're a pretty little man, aren't you? You've been in the house of the julii for some time now.
Why is atia still alive? Trouble's finding the right time.
They always eat together, her and the daughter.
If you don't mind killing the young cunny - i can do it tomorrow.
- no.
No harm to the girl.
Well then, if i could only put the poison On antony's cock, we'd be sweet.
the domina dines on that regular.
Failing that, you'll have to be patient.
You have only foul jokes to tell me.
- why do you come here? - shekels, queen.
- shekels.
- he wants money.
Has he not already been paid? The job's taking longer than we thought.
Let's be fair, eh? Give him what he asks.
Make it 300.
Wait! Give me a kiss before i go.
- excuse me? - kiss me.
I don't think so.
You want this woman dead? kiss me.
( man laughing ) cassius: that's very good.
so if we could return to the subject of money-- please bear in mind, your excellency, That those that help us now will have good friends in rome When mark antony, the traitor, is deposed.
very good friends.
It's only a matter of time.
th or without your help, We shall raise an army.
We shall.
Antony's head will rot on a spike.
There are roman women who are fucked by baboons.
Excuse me? I've heard there are shows Where such things can be seen.
They're not so much shows, really.
they're more a punishment.
I should like to see that.
We do not have such in bithynia.
I should imagine it's simply a matter Of training the baboons.
We have no baboons here.
No apes of any kind.
Oh, i wasn't aware of that.
So as i say, those who help us now-- Yes, you want my money to raise an army.
I want to see a roman woman fucked by baboons.
Perhaps arrangements can be made.
I killed him.
i did.
I had to.
You know, it's in my blood.
My ancestor dethroned the tyrant tarquin.
I understand there were a great many who stabbed your caesar.
I delivered the final blow.
Seems a bit cowardly, no? - ( laughs ) - you say what? He was wounded already-- dying, defenseless, alone.
And you stabbed him yet again.
He was a tyrant.
Our killing him was a necessity.
A necessary and noble act.
Perhaps i shall find a fresh corpse to stab And become great myself.
What, you dare to insult me? Excuse me.
- a senator of rome? - oh.
- stand up.
- ( chuckles ) - stand up! - brutus, perhaps we should get some air? No, this man-- this dog insults me.
Dog, he says? i'm a dog? Excuse us.
it's the wine, the heat.
we are guests here - looking for favor.
- favor? I ask no favors from such animals.
Control yourself, you fool.
He called me a coward.
Come with me.
come on.
I am a senator.
- my friend, you have lost your way.
- leave me alone.
- brutus-- - leave me alone! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wine in the bath? bad sign.
You're late again.
Simply revise your expectations, my dear, - and i will always be early.
- did you get my message? About? Octavian's man marcus agrippa.
Oh yes, yes.
i know all about him.
- well, did you catch him? - there's no need.
But he's up to no good.
I know exactly what he's up to.
Octavian sent him to meet secretly with cicero - hoping to form an alliance against me.
- well then? Cicero will refuse.
I have my foot on his throat.
And i'm happy for your son to know it.
Agrippa can come and go as he pleases.
What will become of octavian? Oh, don't worry yourself.
I'll not harm him.
Swear it.
On jupiter's stone.
He's family.
If they catch us they'll crucify us.
Watch for the guard.
When i get through, pass lucius to me.
- guard: hey, come here.
- ( children screaming ) Lyde! lyde! lyde, no! lyde! lyde! ( children continue screaming ) Oh, gaia, give me a hand here.
Carry your own piss.
Bitch pig whore.
see how you like a whipping, eh? - ( gasps ) - ( pots drop ) Are we sure that it's memmio's work? Caelian coin in his mouth.
Call armed assembly.
Here we go.
So, you think we should ignore this, i suppose? No, you wanted a war, you got it.
we have to fight now.
You don't think you should go and talk to memmio? find a compromise? It's too late for that.
Surely he'd listen to you, wouldn't he? Are you saying i'm with memmio? I didn't say it, you did.
quick as mercury.
Brother-- Brother, can't you see what's happening to you? Oh no, i can't see it, brother.
what is happening to me? What is it that you can see so clear that i can't? A demon.
a demon has possessed you or i don't know what.
You see a demon, is it? what does it look like? Listen to yourself.
me and memmio? How could you think that? i'm you're friend.
I love you.
i would never betray you.
Lying to me, going behind my back.
- it was never like that.
- it wasn't like that, eh? You tell me, did you enjoy fucking my wife? What? Is that why you didn't tell me? because you were fucking her? You have stepped over the line.
Did you fuck my wife? i am asking you a question.
- get out of my way.
- i'm asking you a question! What does it matter what i say? you're not going to believe me.
If you're telling the truth then i will believe you.
Vorenus, on the bones of my mother, There was nothing between me and niobe.
nothing, never.
I don't believe you.
tell me the truth.
All right, i fucked her! all right? I fucked her! me and half the men on the hill.
Any time you were away, bang! Legs open, line at the door.
- come on.
- ( crowd gasps ) ( crowd muttering ) man: are you all right? Don't touch me.
don't touch me.
Where are we going now? I don't know.
anywhere.
Away from this damn place.
Divine janus, As this day follows the night, Let me start my life anew; As the shore is scoured by the tide, Let me be cleansed; That the seed becomes the flower, Let me be born again.
I'm so sorry.
am i late? We have completed taking roll.
a quorum exists.
Excellent.
Then let us begin.
No, actually, not quite yet.
I see that cicero outdoes me in his tardiness.
Cicero is regrettably ill And unable to attend this session.
But he has an important matter to propose Regarding my governorship of gaul.
Should i send my litter bearers to carry him here? He did, however, provide me with a speech That he most urgently insisted be read into the rolls.
Well then, by all means, Let us hear the words Of mighty cicero.
These being the words Of marcus tullius cicero: "when i was a young man, I defended our state.
As an old man, i shall not abandon it.
i give sincere thanks to mark antony, who has generously presented me with the most promising theme imaginable.
i address you directly, antony.
Please listen as if you-- A-as if you--" Go on.
"please listen As if you were sober and intelligent And not a drink sodden Sex-addled wreck.
" - ( clears throat ) - ( senators murmuring ) "you are certainly not without accomplishments.
It is a rare man who can boast of becoming a bankrupt Before even coming of age.
You have brought upon us war, Pestilence and destruction.
You are rome's helen of troy.
But then-- but then--" Go on.
( growls ) go on! "a woman's role has always suited you best.
" Write a note.
To octavian-- caesar, rather.
Tell him i have exposed antony For the debauched rat he is.
at this time, The republic would be most grateful to accept Caesar's offer of assistance.
we shall need his army at once.
In gaul, The renegade mark antony has laid siege To the city of mutina.
But salvation is at hand! The senate sends an army Lead by the generals Hirtius and pansa.
The noble patriot, young caesar octavian, Joins our generals with his own legions To crush the rebels.
So much traveling.
all the way to messilia, Now come all the way back.
crazy.
Sorry, love.
had to do it.
The gods have me vexed over vorenus.
I can't go on until i sort things out with him.
That's all.
Then we'll be on our way again.
What's happened? Oh hey! Anyone home? - pullo! - mascius.
What's all this? Expecting visitors.
i never thought i'd see you again.
Nor i you.
Any road, it's good to have you home.
we need every man we can get.
We're not stopping.
i've just come to talk to vorenus.
where is he? He's not here.
When is he back? I don't know.
he's gone now.
He went north with mark antony.
- went north? - months ago.
Antony gathered his troops And set off to take gaul.
vorenus went with him.
Asked for especially by antony himself.
Left me in charge of a right old mess.
Ever since we gave carbo one up the ass, Caelian boys and their friends have been going at us like fucking belgians.
We lost 10 men this last month.
- come on, are you sure you're not stopping? - what? No.
No, i just came to talk to vorenus.
what now? I don't know.
I don't understand it.
The gods are playing tricks.
"go back to rome," they say.
"talk to vorenus.
" Then they hide him from me.
I did as i was told.
If he's not here, he's not here.
I can leave him a letter.
"dear vorenus, i didn't fuck your wife.
" Something like that.
Let's be going, eh? Let's get out of italy.
A civil war is coming again, it looks like.
You people.
Is this the way to aventine-- Pullo! Don't you know me? Lyde? Yes.
I'm lyde.
i'm lyde.
But you're all right.
you're all right.
Where have you been? The children! the children are alive! Ha! Ha! Where's octavia? Out with jocasta.
Excellent.
I shall finally be able to enjoy my dinner in peace.
- what is this? - sea urchins, domina.
I don't care for it.
what else is there? A savory stew of goose and root vegetables.
Bring me that.
Still here? I can't get enough of you, my love.
Come here.
- ( giggles ) - go on.
( theme music playing )
That's my girl.
crowd: oooh.
Cack! You all right? you're looking pointy.
What's the news from ostia? Three grain ships from alex in.
mussa's people.
Have a cup of wine.
set you up.
Take 25, no less.
Give the lading to ajax.
Well, mussa will complain.
If he does, cut out his tongue.
You think i'm joking? I'll see to it now.
pullo: vorenus Nothing.
Memmio of the caelian is here.
He asked to see you.
vorenus: salve, memmio.
please sit down.
Weather's turning, eh? i like a bit of heat.
What brings you to the aventine, memmio? memmio: no chitchat.
Straight to cases.
i like that.
A young nephew of my colleague carbo here was defiled by an aventine man.
name of quintus bubo.
you know him? I know him.
With your permission, carbo wishes to avenge his family's honor - and kill this quintus.
- the boy's only 12.
He was sucking his cock for pennies.
He was paid, then? Yes, but he didn't ask me first.
The boy was paid.
Nobody in my family sucks cock without i say so.
Carbo is from respectable people.
The boy took money.
He was working as a prostitute.
Quintus bubo's committed no offense.
you won't touch him.
Brother vorenus, perhaps you misunderstand.
vorenus: i misunderstand nothing, brother.
I've been given strict mandate by mark antony to maintain the peace.
Quintus bubo is a man of property and respect.
You will not touch him.
Money or not though, he took advantage of the boy.
Perhaps some moderate form of punishment-- We come to you out of politeness.
a mere formality.
I've given you my answer.
Wrong fucking answer.
This maggot pisses on my name, on my family honor.
Control your man, memmio.
Vorenus, the man has a fair point.
Silence, pullo! Brother vorenus, in all candor, Even your own man knows-- My man doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.
I've given you my decision.
And we graciously accept your judgment.
I thank you for your time And i apologize for the disruption.
You didn't have to insult me in front of-- Do not question my authority in front of others.
Do not question my authority under any circumstances.
Authority? Hard being the boss, eh? Good stuff.
Is it? how does one tell? Try.
Hold your breath.
It's horrid.
In a minute, you'll feel delicious.
You know jocasta.
Do i? We met at a theater last year.
- i was with-- - what are you doing? We're inhaling hemp.
I can see that.
You're making the whole house stink.
- in the future, do it outside if you must.
- yes, mother.
- is it any good? - excellent.
Come here.
jocasta: i brought back two sacks from macedonia.
So much better than the italian kind.
Macedonia? Mmm.
papa has quarries there.
We're going there when antony takes up his governorship.
- what's it like? - my dear, it's ghastly.
Oh? Filthy climate, vile food, - beastly people.
- perhaps you didn't mix in quite the best society.
Oh no, papa is hideously rich, But there's no society to be found.
The men are overly fond of fucking their sheep.
And when you meet the women, you can hardly blame them.
It truly is the end of the world.
I'm no snob, octavia, And i don't mind that you bring home a tradesman's daughter But let's just stop there, shall we? No actors, no gladiators, or that sort of thing, neh? Don't mind her.
She's been an infernal grump since octavian left.
Send to ask antony when he's coming home.
no, don't.
A fig for him.
Yes, domina.
timon is waiting, Asking if it pleases you to see him.
Mmm.
Domina.
- domina-- - go away.
- but merula said-- - changed my mind.
Hello, duro.
Yes, it's good.
It's good.
Very good! Hello, abba.
we're learning hebrew.
- i can see that.
- they'll be reading torah in no time.
I can't wait.
atia: you came in very late last night.
Business.
Business involving wine, vomit and sex.
I'm sorry, did i disturb you? No, not at all.
But do please wake me before you come at me so.
It will be a little less Alarming.
I was thinking about macedonia.
were you? Do we have to go? Can't we just stay here? No.
Once my consulship is over, we're gone.
but it's so far from rome.
They have dressmakers and jewel merchants in the desert just like here.
Once you're gone from italy Your enemies will no longer fear you And you will be powerless to strike at them.
I don't want to strike at them.
There's no juice in it anymore.
I want peace and quiet and a nice rich province to squeeze.
- peace and quiet? - mm-hmm.
While you're swilling wine in macedonia, Do you think brutus and cassius will be idle? Those abject creatures? Abject only while you have power.
Your enemies will not rest until you are dead.
You have a wolf by the ears.
you cannot let go of him now.
Pass the oil, would you? man: make way! Well, thank you.
thank you very much.
We'll see you next week? yeah, okay.
- brother! - who was that man? - who? - the man you were speaking with.
Oh, you mean barak.
he's a saffron trader.
Doesn't look like a saffron trader.
Not everybody looks like what they are.
Huh? ( laughs ) Justice, captain! - i beg for justice! - who's this? Quintus bubo and his wife.
Gelded by memmio's boys.
Please, captain, justice! pullo: come on.
calm down, brother.
The old man shouldn't have been goating around anyhow.
- memmio disobeyed me.
- well he didn't kill the old fool at least.
- he disobeyed me! - let me go talk to memmio.
- i'll sort out a compromise.
- no.
If you punish carbo over this trivia, Memmio is going to take it as disrespect.
He'll have to retaliate.
you'll start a gang war.
Very likely, but i've got no choice.
- and it's your fault.
- what? How is it my fault? You questioned my authority in front of memmio.
- that gave him license to disobey me.
- oh, bollocks.
Now, you go and find carbo.
You show him the same disrespect that he has shown me.
- everyone is in the wrong here.
- i gave you an order.
This isn't the mumping legion.
i take orders from no man.
Then you're no use to me.
you, go and do it.
Will do, captain.
You are thinking all backwards.
I warned you about questioning my authority.
you learn your place.
My place? well, fuck you, you miserable bastard, I'm the one trying to keep you alive.
Oh, you'd like nothing better than to start a gang war, eh? Get yourself killed.
put an end to all of your misery.
Take half the city with you.
Well, i tell you what-- you can die 1,000 times And it won't bring back niobe or the children or caesar! Listen, i'm your friend.
i'm trying to help you.
- you've never helped me.
- have i not? Well, who saved your life a dozen times? Who took care of that snake evander? Who carried you home when you were drunk? What do you mean? "took care of evander.
" Nothing-- it didn't mean anything.
What do you mean? Speak.
I killed him.
I found out what he'd done and killed him.
Listen, she loved you.
You were happy together.
what was i supposed to do? - if i'd told you, you would have killed him.
- get out! What was i supposed to do? Get out.
Atia thrives, i trust? She does.
she does.
And the rest of the family? Good enough.
- yes, a surprising boy, isn't he? - hmm? Octavian-- such vim and vigor for one so young.
They say its a considerable army he's raised.
Buying up all the fools and cripples in campagna - is hardly raising an army.
- ( laughs ) You are right, no doubt.
But many veterans also.
Eighth legion men.
seventh legion.
Sat on their backsides taking his money To cheer him as he goes by.
Caesar my ass.
But i didn't bring you here to talk of children.
Indeed, i await your pleasure.
( moans ) - when my term as consul is over - ( urinating ) I no longer wish to take the governorship of macedonia.
I wish to take gaul.
But decimus is governor of gaul.
Well, he can have macedonia if he likes.
I want gaul.
The weather's better.
I'm afraid that will be a bit difficult.
The senate may suppose you plan to emulate caesar, Camping your legions on our border.
Close enough to rome To scare us into doing anything you wish.
Steady on.
hadn't even crossed my mind.
I just prefer gaul.
But you understand why the senate Would not pass such a measure? You are the senate, cicero.
The next time we meet, Perhaps you will propose my governorship of gaul.
No one can make any trouble if the noble cicero is backing me.
I don't think that's a good idea.
No? Not that i do not wish to help you As a friend.
But the senate would know i was backing you Only through fear of death.
Oh.
Oh, i understand.
You do not want to seem cowardly.
tell them i bribed you.
Would you accept a bribe? I would not.
Oh, rich enough, huh? Well, it's always worth a try.
Well, you leave me only one option then.
It always comes to this.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Such times we live in.
Please, go on.
make your threats.
I don't like to submit to mere implication.
Hmm.
There's a question i've always wanted to ask you.
Your old friend crassus, When he was captured by the parthians, Is it true that they poured molten gold down his throat? Because that would really sting.
Thank you.
It is correct, what you say.
The weather in macedonia is Dreadful.
I thought maybe you'd want to know a bit more - than what i said.
- i don't.
You should know niobe wasn't-- she wasn't-- Don't speak of her.
It's in the past.
it is done.
Brother, i'm sorry i kept it from you.
I thought it was for the best.
i'm sorry.
I forgive you, brother.
I understand why you didn't tell me.
I understand.
I hear you say that, but-- I mean it.
I forgive you.
How could i not forgive you, pullo? You're all i've got left in life.
Keeping me alive, eh? Speaking of that, this business with the caelians-- - what of it? - we can still stop it turning into a war.
Let carbo pay a fine.
If i go talk quietly to memmio We can sort it out so that no one loses face.
You suggested that before.
Worth a go.
better than a war.
You may be right.
you may be.
But it's too late now.
Move.
Salve, carbo.
Get him up.
Tell your mistress i have a message from her son.
Oh, piss and blood! Ahem.
forgive the intrusion.
I was entranced.
Who are you? I am marcus vipsanius agrippa, A friend of caesar-- Of octavian as was.
Have i the honor of speaking to his sister octavia? Yes.
is my brother here? There's nothing wrong, is there? he's all right? No-- yes.
I mean, no, he's not here.
but yes, he's well.
I left him five days ago thriving.
Happy.
- i am to convey his best wishes to you.
- no letter? I told him he ought to write, but you know how he is.
Please.
In place of writing, i am charged to tell you that he loves you as ever And to answer verbally any questions you may have, Consonant with political security.
He's grown no less pompous then.
It suits him better now than at school.
He's a powerful man.
So everyone says.
i cannot believe it.
My little brother.
Your little brother has an army 10,000 strong.
I have written him 100 times Asking him to stop this madness.
- but he does not listen to me.
- on the contrary.
I think you're the only person in the world he does listen to.
Is this the messenger? This is agrippa, A friend of octavian.
Deeply honored.
And so? He asked that i make certain you're well, And to assure you of his respect and fidelity.
We're very well.
And as for his respect and fidelity-- ( scoffs ) He begs that in the name of family You keep an open mind as to your future prospects.
You came all the way from campagna to say that? - i have other business.
- with whom? I am not at liberty to say.
Oh, intrigue is it? I imagine you're a master.
Does mark antony know that you're in the city? I expect there are a great many citizens whose location is unknown to the coul.
True, but he does like to know - where the traitors are.
- mother! Well, they are traitors, aren't they? Antony is consul in rome, And octavian is deliberately challenging him.
If this is not a traitor, i don't know what is.
I have said what i must.
I will take your leave to go.
Tell my son i-- No, tell him nothing.
Send to tell antony that marcus agrippa is in the city.
Mother, no! Who knows what antony will do to him! Nothing pleasant, i would think.
He's your son's friend.
I have no son.
- hey! - althea, my honey.
how goes it? You know you're not allowed in the kitchen.
But i'm hungry.
You won't tell on me, will you? Mmm.
you should try some.
We've been waiting for you.
Keep waiting, honey.
where's your mistress? - never mind about my mistress.
- i want to speak to her.
She doesn't speak to the like of you.
And i don't speak to the like of you.
She wants the job done, she'll see me.
You speak to me.
Maybe some other time.
servilia: wait.
So you're servilia then, are you? Choice.
very choice.
Address me by my name again And i'll have your tongue nailed to a wagon wheel.
Forgive me.
i've not spoken to nobility before.
- what's his name? - duro.
Duro.
Eleni was right.
You're a pretty little man, aren't you? You've been in the house of the julii for some time now.
Why is atia still alive? Trouble's finding the right time.
They always eat together, her and the daughter.
If you don't mind killing the young cunny - i can do it tomorrow.
- no.
No harm to the girl.
Well then, if i could only put the poison On antony's cock, we'd be sweet.
the domina dines on that regular.
Failing that, you'll have to be patient.
You have only foul jokes to tell me.
- why do you come here? - shekels, queen.
- shekels.
- he wants money.
Has he not already been paid? The job's taking longer than we thought.
Let's be fair, eh? Give him what he asks.
Make it 300.
Wait! Give me a kiss before i go.
- excuse me? - kiss me.
I don't think so.
You want this woman dead? kiss me.
( man laughing ) cassius: that's very good.
so if we could return to the subject of money-- please bear in mind, your excellency, That those that help us now will have good friends in rome When mark antony, the traitor, is deposed.
very good friends.
It's only a matter of time.
th or without your help, We shall raise an army.
We shall.
Antony's head will rot on a spike.
There are roman women who are fucked by baboons.
Excuse me? I've heard there are shows Where such things can be seen.
They're not so much shows, really.
they're more a punishment.
I should like to see that.
We do not have such in bithynia.
I should imagine it's simply a matter Of training the baboons.
We have no baboons here.
No apes of any kind.
Oh, i wasn't aware of that.
So as i say, those who help us now-- Yes, you want my money to raise an army.
I want to see a roman woman fucked by baboons.
Perhaps arrangements can be made.
I killed him.
i did.
I had to.
You know, it's in my blood.
My ancestor dethroned the tyrant tarquin.
I understand there were a great many who stabbed your caesar.
I delivered the final blow.
Seems a bit cowardly, no? - ( laughs ) - you say what? He was wounded already-- dying, defenseless, alone.
And you stabbed him yet again.
He was a tyrant.
Our killing him was a necessity.
A necessary and noble act.
Perhaps i shall find a fresh corpse to stab And become great myself.
What, you dare to insult me? Excuse me.
- a senator of rome? - oh.
- stand up.
- ( chuckles ) - stand up! - brutus, perhaps we should get some air? No, this man-- this dog insults me.
Dog, he says? i'm a dog? Excuse us.
it's the wine, the heat.
we are guests here - looking for favor.
- favor? I ask no favors from such animals.
Control yourself, you fool.
He called me a coward.
Come with me.
come on.
I am a senator.
- my friend, you have lost your way.
- leave me alone.
- brutus-- - leave me alone! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wine in the bath? bad sign.
You're late again.
Simply revise your expectations, my dear, - and i will always be early.
- did you get my message? About? Octavian's man marcus agrippa.
Oh yes, yes.
i know all about him.
- well, did you catch him? - there's no need.
But he's up to no good.
I know exactly what he's up to.
Octavian sent him to meet secretly with cicero - hoping to form an alliance against me.
- well then? Cicero will refuse.
I have my foot on his throat.
And i'm happy for your son to know it.
Agrippa can come and go as he pleases.
What will become of octavian? Oh, don't worry yourself.
I'll not harm him.
Swear it.
On jupiter's stone.
He's family.
If they catch us they'll crucify us.
Watch for the guard.
When i get through, pass lucius to me.
- guard: hey, come here.
- ( children screaming ) Lyde! lyde! lyde, no! lyde! lyde! ( children continue screaming ) Oh, gaia, give me a hand here.
Carry your own piss.
Bitch pig whore.
see how you like a whipping, eh? - ( gasps ) - ( pots drop ) Are we sure that it's memmio's work? Caelian coin in his mouth.
Call armed assembly.
Here we go.
So, you think we should ignore this, i suppose? No, you wanted a war, you got it.
we have to fight now.
You don't think you should go and talk to memmio? find a compromise? It's too late for that.
Surely he'd listen to you, wouldn't he? Are you saying i'm with memmio? I didn't say it, you did.
quick as mercury.
Brother-- Brother, can't you see what's happening to you? Oh no, i can't see it, brother.
what is happening to me? What is it that you can see so clear that i can't? A demon.
a demon has possessed you or i don't know what.
You see a demon, is it? what does it look like? Listen to yourself.
me and memmio? How could you think that? i'm you're friend.
I love you.
i would never betray you.
Lying to me, going behind my back.
- it was never like that.
- it wasn't like that, eh? You tell me, did you enjoy fucking my wife? What? Is that why you didn't tell me? because you were fucking her? You have stepped over the line.
Did you fuck my wife? i am asking you a question.
- get out of my way.
- i'm asking you a question! What does it matter what i say? you're not going to believe me.
If you're telling the truth then i will believe you.
Vorenus, on the bones of my mother, There was nothing between me and niobe.
nothing, never.
I don't believe you.
tell me the truth.
All right, i fucked her! all right? I fucked her! me and half the men on the hill.
Any time you were away, bang! Legs open, line at the door.
- come on.
- ( crowd gasps ) ( crowd muttering ) man: are you all right? Don't touch me.
don't touch me.
Where are we going now? I don't know.
anywhere.
Away from this damn place.
Divine janus, As this day follows the night, Let me start my life anew; As the shore is scoured by the tide, Let me be cleansed; That the seed becomes the flower, Let me be born again.
I'm so sorry.
am i late? We have completed taking roll.
a quorum exists.
Excellent.
Then let us begin.
No, actually, not quite yet.
I see that cicero outdoes me in his tardiness.
Cicero is regrettably ill And unable to attend this session.
But he has an important matter to propose Regarding my governorship of gaul.
Should i send my litter bearers to carry him here? He did, however, provide me with a speech That he most urgently insisted be read into the rolls.
Well then, by all means, Let us hear the words Of mighty cicero.
These being the words Of marcus tullius cicero: "when i was a young man, I defended our state.
As an old man, i shall not abandon it.
i give sincere thanks to mark antony, who has generously presented me with the most promising theme imaginable.
i address you directly, antony.
Please listen as if you-- A-as if you--" Go on.
"please listen As if you were sober and intelligent And not a drink sodden Sex-addled wreck.
" - ( clears throat ) - ( senators murmuring ) "you are certainly not without accomplishments.
It is a rare man who can boast of becoming a bankrupt Before even coming of age.
You have brought upon us war, Pestilence and destruction.
You are rome's helen of troy.
But then-- but then--" Go on.
( growls ) go on! "a woman's role has always suited you best.
" Write a note.
To octavian-- caesar, rather.
Tell him i have exposed antony For the debauched rat he is.
at this time, The republic would be most grateful to accept Caesar's offer of assistance.
we shall need his army at once.
In gaul, The renegade mark antony has laid siege To the city of mutina.
But salvation is at hand! The senate sends an army Lead by the generals Hirtius and pansa.
The noble patriot, young caesar octavian, Joins our generals with his own legions To crush the rebels.
So much traveling.
all the way to messilia, Now come all the way back.
crazy.
Sorry, love.
had to do it.
The gods have me vexed over vorenus.
I can't go on until i sort things out with him.
That's all.
Then we'll be on our way again.
What's happened? Oh hey! Anyone home? - pullo! - mascius.
What's all this? Expecting visitors.
i never thought i'd see you again.
Nor i you.
Any road, it's good to have you home.
we need every man we can get.
We're not stopping.
i've just come to talk to vorenus.
where is he? He's not here.
When is he back? I don't know.
he's gone now.
He went north with mark antony.
- went north? - months ago.
Antony gathered his troops And set off to take gaul.
vorenus went with him.
Asked for especially by antony himself.
Left me in charge of a right old mess.
Ever since we gave carbo one up the ass, Caelian boys and their friends have been going at us like fucking belgians.
We lost 10 men this last month.
- come on, are you sure you're not stopping? - what? No.
No, i just came to talk to vorenus.
what now? I don't know.
I don't understand it.
The gods are playing tricks.
"go back to rome," they say.
"talk to vorenus.
" Then they hide him from me.
I did as i was told.
If he's not here, he's not here.
I can leave him a letter.
"dear vorenus, i didn't fuck your wife.
" Something like that.
Let's be going, eh? Let's get out of italy.
A civil war is coming again, it looks like.
You people.
Is this the way to aventine-- Pullo! Don't you know me? Lyde? Yes.
I'm lyde.
i'm lyde.
But you're all right.
you're all right.
Where have you been? The children! the children are alive! Ha! Ha! Where's octavia? Out with jocasta.
Excellent.
I shall finally be able to enjoy my dinner in peace.
- what is this? - sea urchins, domina.
I don't care for it.
what else is there? A savory stew of goose and root vegetables.
Bring me that.
Still here? I can't get enough of you, my love.
Come here.
- ( giggles ) - go on.
( theme music playing )