Selling the OC (2022) s02e03 Episode Script

1
[male singer howls]
We're in the wild now ♪
[singer howls]
[dramatic music playing]
We're in the wild now ♪
[singer howls]
We're in the wild now ♪
[singer howls]
-How are you doing?
-I'm good.
Is there anything
I can get you to drink?
Ooh, I would love a mimosa, please.
-Mimosa? Okay.
-Yes, please.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to ♪
Hide ♪
-Hi.
-Hello.
-How are you, beautiful girl?
-So do you. Oh my God.
-Fun bags look amazing.
-They're strapped down really tightly.
They are fun. I'll give them that.
-How you doing?
-Wonderful. You?
Good.
I'm gonna have what she's having.
-Just a mimosa? No problem.
-Just a mimosa. Thank you.
Do you not have a bra on?
No.
Mine used to be like that.
-You've fed and nurtured two human beings.
-That's true. That's true. But still
I've just had a few guys play with them.
Not actually suck
the life out of them? Yeah.
Gio's was a shitshow.
I felt so sorry for Gio.
He spent a lot of money, evidently.
He had a life-sized ice sculpture
of himself there,
and Kayla made it all about her.
It's like, you fucking ruined
Gio's celebration.
I mean, anybody that says
that they don't know a friend
that has drunkenly kissed
another friend
Like, I made out with Tyler,
who is single, a year after she
Oh, was it actually Was it a make out?
I mean, making out is like
It was a snog. It was a drunken snog.
A snog is a kiss, a peck,
and making out is
-It was not a peck. It was a drunken snog.
-Oh okay.
[Alex] I didn't realize
that it was a full make out.
I thought it was a drunken peck.
At the office? Like, guys,
we're in a fishbowl.
Like, good God.
So, is it something where you're like,
"That happened and we regret it"?
No.
But like, do I foresee it
happening again? No.
This is a weird conversation.
I mean, we're a weird fucking bunch.
Yeah, that's true.
I actually want you to clarify.
Was he a good kisser?
Oh, yeah.
-Really?
-Yes. Of course.
Oh wow.
I'm not a jealous person by any means.
[soft, mellow music playing]
Granted, I haven't made out
with him, so I don't know.
You will. I wouldn't be surprised
if you and Tyler didn't end up together.
I feel that's what everybody assumes
because of our friendship.
-Yeah.
-But you've gotten farther than I have.
-Which is the irony.
-I just tested him out for you.
-Thank you. You're a good friend for that.
-Would recommend.
Never say never.
Never say never.
[female singer vocalizes]
-[up-tempo pop music playing]
-[vocalizations continue]
Catch me if you can ♪
One, two, got them lined up
Like my shoes ♪
Put my Cadillac on cruise
And I'm comin' for you ♪
I just wanna let loose, honey ♪
I just wanna make a move, honey ♪
But don't you get it confused, honey ♪
[Polly] Hi!
Hello!
-How are you doing?
-Hey, Polly.
Hi! Didn't see you over there.
[Gio] Caffeinating up.
[phone rings nearby]
-How are you, Gio?
-I'm good. How are you?
-I like that aubergine.
-Oh, thank you.
You have fun at my party?
Oh, I had a lot of fun
until I didn't have fun.
Took, like, a quick turn there.
[Polly] Yeah, you know,
we were there to celebrate you,
and it just sucks that some people
can't just celebrate, you know?
I was just kind of blindsided
by all the news.
-For lack of a better word and
-It's not a secret. People know about it.
-I mean, I didn't. I mean
-Neither did I.
Do I tell everyone every time
I make out with someone? No.
I will say, and I said this at my party
-Location, terrible, and I own that.
-Fucking horrible.
-Not appropriate in the office.
-So you recognize that that was messy?
I have just said that.
I never pretended it didn't happen.
I don't appreciate being blindsided.
I'm sorry that your party took a turn
for the dramatic.
When tequila is flowing,
this shit's gonna happen.
Did you expect otherwise?
-The ice luge was great.
-That didn't help. Yeah.
-Hey.
-Hello.
-Hey, guys.
-Alexes.
Just got done doing some door knocking.
-Where were you?
-On the flower streets.
-So, just over here.
-Okay.
Yeah, we knocked on Jasmine.
Yeah, a good potential property, so
-Cool.
-I mean, it's a tear down. But, you know.
I'm sure you guys have developers
or somebody that would want
Yeah, I have a lot of clients
who are developers.
[Austin] Boss is here.
We're always open to that.
What's up, guys?
Hi!
We'll always entertain
an offer during a lease,
but I don't think he wants
to provide an option contract.
Okay, thanks, guys. You got it, man.
-Hi.
-What's up, guys? Good to see you.
-Hey, Jason.
-How was the drive?
-Easy.
-Easy?
I got a listing appointment on the way.
Six million dollars. I think we got it.
-Amazing.
-Nice.
Um, Brandi. You making me some money?
What's going on?
Give me some update.
I just got an offer
on my four million in Laguna.
-Good job.
-What's the offer?
[Brandi] So, 3.975. We're listed at 4.2.
My seller wants to get higher.
They also asked for a 60-day escrow.
-So we countered
-To what, 30, 35?
Yes. It feels like
there's some movement going on.
-We need movement.
-Hopefully we'll be accepting one soon.
Good. Good, good, good. All right,
Brandi. Austin, any updates from you, man?
-Yes, uh, we closed on 11 Old Ranch.
-Oh, nice.
-[Lauren] Yes! Go ring it, Austin!
-[Jarvis] Ring, ring!
[Austin] On the market for three years.
We closed in 31 days.
[Jarvis] Yes, you did!
-No big deal.
-That's how you do it.
Coming through! Coming through!
Coming through!
-Coming through.
-Good game.
All right, cover your ears.
I'm going hard.
-Yes!
-[bell rings loudly]
-Stop.
-Ow, frick. We need earmuffs over there.
It went right through my fingers, bro.
Ooh, Jason, I forgot to tell you.
So, Tyler and Austin held an open house.
I stopped by. Gorgeous house.
I met a really cute girl there.
From Nashville.
She spends Monday through Friday here.
She's interested
in getting into real estate.
[gentle, tense music playing]
Does she have her license?
No, not yet.
If she gets her license,
I think she'd be good.
I'm open to meeting someone,
but I'm not genuinely interested
in training a new agent.
-Yeah.
-That'd be on you guys if you like her.
I love that she's from Nashville.
Just saying, I don't do backflips
over brand-new agents.
-I know, but you're in town.
-I'm happy to meet her.
-She's in town
-Paul, you were a new agent.
You didn't have a license when I met you.
-Well
-How'd that turn out?
[down-tempo pop music playing]
Amazing.
I'm on the way up ♪
I'll never come down ♪
I'm on the way up ♪
-Come on ♪
-And you can never bring me down ♪
Money trees everywhere I go ♪
Showin' up with a centerfold ♪
-Hi.
-What's going on?
-How are you?
-I'm good.
The amount of times
I've walked down and up that hill.
You could have parked here.
[grunts] I know. Did you live here
when we were in high school?
Uh no, but my family still owned it.
They sold it in 2007.
My client has lived here
who's meeting us. Scot.
-Okay. Okay.
-He's a developer.
-He grew up in Newport his whole life.
-Cool.
Here he is.
-Hello, there.
-[Alex] Hi.
Scot is my client. He is a very well-known
developer in the community.
-How you doing?
-Good, how are you today?
I can't complain.
Scot, Tyler. Tyler, Scot.
We're working hard on a possible
$58,000,000 development in Cameo Shores,
but I wanted to show Scot
this property of Tyler's
because he's always trying
to gobble up a good deal in real estate.
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah, likewise.
This is his property,
I don't know if I told you,
but it was also his old childhood home.
My childhood home, yeah.
It's three properties on one lot.
-My family owned it for almost 50 years.
-Wow.
They rebuilt it and sold it in '07.
The same owner has held it since.
-Great place to grow up.
-Yeah. I was lucky. I was very lucky.
Very. Let's go see it.
Let's do it.
Watch your step in those heels.
I need like an elevator.
Like, a wheelchair.
-One of those old people seats?
-Yes
Traveling wild and I don't know why ♪
I can't contain
Whatever's burnin' inside ♪
Welcome to the old family home.
Got what I'm looking for, yeah ♪
-Million-dollar view.
-15-million-dollar view.
We're on 10,000 square feet.
Upstairs, there are two rental units.
The main residence is downstairs.
Here you have four bedrooms, three baths.
You have literally oceanfront,
white-water views from here.
You've got that something
That I've never known ♪
You have that awesome seating area
with the barbecue and firepit.
-So cute.
-You have parking.
Which in Laguna
is literally next to impossible.
The parking is huge.
I got excited about the parking.
It still blows my mind you lived here,
and I literally spent every day
on this beach. I'm sure you did too.
-It's so weird. So weird to think about.
-Yeah.
My great grandma would be at that table
just playing dominoes all day.
This front patio was full of people.
My dad had me at 20,
so I was a bit of a whoopsie.
So, it was nice to have family help
and a place we could be close to family.
-That's great.
-Yeah.
-So primary's over here?
-Yeah.
-[Alex] Oh wow.
-[Tyler] Yeah.
[Scot] Nice and big.
-This was my bedroom I shared with Trevor.
-[Alex] Bunk beds?
-[Tyler] Bunk beds.
-[Alex] How cute!
-So much room for activities.
-That's a big-ass bathtub.
[Scot] A Jacuzzi.
Got what I'm lookin' for ♪
This would be something, in my opinion,
I don't know if you agree,
if you were gonna buy it, it would be
something to keep long-term, rent it out.
Have some monthly income.
Not something to tear down and rebuild.
No. I would probably keep the lower unit,
rent out the top two.
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-I like it.
-Let's talk.
-Yeah.
-Cool. Let me know.
All right. Thanks so much.
Appreciate you showing it to us, Tyler.
I will talk to him, get a little bit more
of a scoop, and then I'll call you.
Let me know what you wanna do.
-Okay. Sounds great.
-Thanks for stopping by.
-Talk to you in a bit.
-All right. Bye.
It feels so good to be back. Anytime
I can be close to the ocean, I'm in.
[bright, cheery music playing]
-I'm not gonna say it. Asshole. Nothing.
-What are you gonna say?
I want to know how
we never met on this beach.
'Cause I was with locals
and you were with tourists.
I'm not a tourist. You're such a dick.
Uh you're a dick.
I don't know
if this is going to be the one for Scot.
I kind of gathered that.
He's my client that's doing that property
in Cameo Shores.
-He's building.
-Oh, that's right.
He was at Gio's party.
-Yeah.
-He stopped by really quick.
Hey, how are you? Good.
What's his name?
I think it's Scot, Scot.
And fucking Rose He told me after
Rose came up to him
as we were all leaving and was like,
"Why are you working with Alex Hall?"
And, "How long have you known her?"
-And
-Interesting.
And I'm like,
I can't fucking believe the audacity.
I'm so appalled that Rose would put
the brokerage in a jeopardizing situation
with such an important client.
If you can't trust yourself,
you're unpredictable,
or you don't know right from wrong,
just stay away.
I didn't hear it, but do you think
it was one of those where Rose
You know, she sometimes
just speaks directly and it sounds
There's no excuse for it.
I mean, I agree with you.
She does do things
that are a little bit unorthodox,
and she's direct, which I can appreciate,
but that's like she's not stupid.
-No, she's not.
-I busted my ass to get clients like that.
Don't step on my territory.
It's just rude.
There are people that are newer
to the business that lack etiquette.
And I'm finally turning the corner
on something that was a lot in my life,
and I feel really good
and I am working my ass off.
I don't need that drama in my life.
Even at Gio's, once stuff got crazy,
I just wanted to leave.
Why is everybody so involved
with everybody's personal lives?
Right. We should be focusing
on selling real estate. That's it.
If we don't have
a personal friendship, that's okay.
-I can respect you as a professional.
-Right.
-I don't need your opinion on my life.
-Absolutely.
I don't have one on yours.
That's how it should be.
-You know?
-I agree.
Got too much on my plate to be worrying
about this shark tank of bullshit.
I agree.
I don't know how much of a future
I have at the O Group
if things don't get better.
Is that a threat?
Are you gonna leave?
Yeah. I'm not here for it.
If that's happening, I'm out.
[dramatic music plays, then fades]
[guitar-forward rock music playing]
Confessions feelin' so cold ♪
Never gonna save your soul ♪
My soul is already sold ♪
I think there's something severely wrong
with my computer.
-Why does that thing keep popping up?
-I don't know. I need a genius.
Porn keeps popping up on Polly's computer.
That happens to me all the time.
-[Tyler] What?
-It happens to you all the time?
Hey, I wanna be me ♪
-Hey ♪
-Hey ♪
Don't wanna stop me, come on ♪
I wanna be me ♪
Let's go ♪
Oh, here she is.
All right, be nice, everyone.
-Hi! How are you?
-Hello! Hi. Good to see you again.
-You too! Welcome to our office.
-Hi, guys.
Everyone, this is Ali.
-Hello! Nice to meet you.
-Hi, Ali.
I'll go around. Alexandra, Alexandra.
-Alexandra Rose, Alexandra Jarvis.
-Alexandra.
-And there's another one.
-Another one?
There's a lot of us. We do last names
here because there's so many of us.
There's already two.
-There's another one.
-Three.
There's an Alexandra Hall.
-Oh, three?
-She's not here right now.
If you joined, you would be the fourth.
-Are there four Pollys? That's crazy.
-No. The one's enough.
It feels like there's four Pollys.
This is true.
-Jason.
-Hey, Jason.
-Nice to meet you.
-Good to meet you.
-This office is amazing.
-Yeah.
And I hear you're from Nashville.
Yes, I am. Where are you from?
I'm from Birmingham.
-You're kidding!
-I grew up going to Nashville.
-That is so crazy.
-Yeah, small world.
I feel like the last thing this office
needs right now is a completely new agent.
Come on. Like, all I'm doing
is making an introduction.
I get it. I had to start at like And,
you know, raise up to something like this.
-Keep an open mind.
-Yeah.
-Have a conversation with her.
-Fair enough.
-What are we fighting about?
-No, I just
Gio Gio doesn't think
that a new agent should be joining.
-Oh. I don't mind
-I was in the same spot.
Listen, I don't mind meeting people
if they fit the vibe.
-Yeah.
-And they get along and can work hard.
I was in exactly the same position
that Ali is now.
I hadn't taken my test.
I was still studying. I knew nothing.
But I was willing to learn
and willing to earn my stripes here
and do all of the shitty jobs
that no one else wanted to do,
just so I knew how to do it.
In the first year, I was schlepping.
Working open houses for every agent
that couldn't make it,
going to inspections.
The less glamorous sides of this job
that not everyone always gets to see.
Could have a conversation with her
to see what she's about, get a vibe.
-I will.
-But I got a good vibe. She's sweet.
I will. I appreciate you looking out.
Meeting Jason when I did and him taking
a chance on me really means a lot.
I'm forever grateful.
I'm, like, getting emotional about it.
It was
Yeah, I'm very grateful that he saw
what he saw in me.
I've been all over. Johnson City,
I've spent time in Chattanooga.
-I dated a guy from Johnson City.
-Really?
-Yes.
-I had my first taste of moonshine
from Johnson City.
That is hilarious.
I might actually have done the same.
Hi. I think Jason just wants
to have a chat.
-Of course.
-Just to meet.
Sorry, I'm holding you.
Let's do lunch and we'll talk
Amazing, I'd love that.
Let's chat here.
-Perfect.
-I'll be here.
[Ali] Okay.
Good to formally meet you.
You as well. Thanks so much.
-Nice meeting you.
-I love this place.
Thank you. I guess I'll start
by asking you, why real estate?
Well, I have a love for interior design.
I'm a people person
when it comes down to it. And
If I say, "Why real estate?" You'd say
you like interacting with people?
Yeah, I also love beautiful homes.
Yeah.
And I like money,
so I'll do anything for $10,000,000.
I'll learn everything about you,
your cousin and your cousin's brothers.
Don't fret. You're still top dog.
Ha, ha, ha. I'm not threatened.
She's pretty. She's not that pretty. Yeah.
Let me get into your education.
Sure. I graduated from
the University of Tennessee
and studied journalism
and communications.
What were your grades?
-My grades?
-Yeah.
Oh my gosh. Um, maybe like a 3.6?
-Okay, that's not bad.
-Yeah.
-So, you're smart.
-Yeah.
Core classes were really great.
Other ones, I'm not really
Science and whatever, but typically
-There's no science in real estate.
-Thank God, I know.
-Why I'm interested.
-There is some math, but
I'm a people person. I've always been
selling myself at some point or another.
I had zero experience in pageants,
nor is it my thing.
I didn't grow up doing it. My mom was
Miss Tennessee USA. I never got into it.
However, I did one and won Miss Tennessee,
and then I went on to Miss USA.
I had no experience in politics,
but I led a political campaign
in Nashville for a mayoral candidate.
So, I really I love doing things
that involve me talking with other people.
-Uh-huh.
-Mm-hm.
End of the day, I run a business.
You seem like you have some potential.
If you take it seriously,
hit the ground running, spend hours a day.
If you prioritize it,
you can do well. Um
Why don't we leave it at,
"We'll continue the conversation."
-That sounds good.
-I appreciate these few minutes.
[laughs] It was so good meeting you.
I really appreciate it.
-How was that?
-Just sweating.
-Oh, you're fine.
-Good.
Do you live in OC now?
No, I don't. I'm in Nashville.
My boyfriend and I have a house there.
He flies into Orange County
every single Monday.
When he's working,
I could be here and travel with him.
It's just hard to, like, do real estate
here if you're not living here full-time.
There are a lot of very attractive
realtors in this town
and you kinda have to, like, dive all in.
-It can't be half-assed.
-It's dog-eat-dog here.
It's-it's sink or swim. It's tough.
She's just getting her feet wet,
you know?
She's gonna figure it out.
That said, I do normally hire
for potential and not experience
because at one point,
I wasn't experienced.
The only way that you know about
every sale and what a property is worth,
uh, is commitment.
[Polly] It takes balls
to walk into this office
with everybody here, including the boss,
and ask for a job.
I respect that.
-Well, it was so good meeting you.
-Nice meeting you.
Good meeting y'all.
-Jason, we'll be in touch?
-Okay.
[Ali] Okay. Sounds good.
Yeah. Have fun and we'll chat soon.
-Sounds good. Bye.
-Bye, love.
-Gio, you're such a fan.
-You're full on today.
-Such a meanie!
-I'm looking out for the office.
If she can't handle
a little office grilling,
then she shouldn't be here.
I don't want to make
the decision unilaterally,
but I thought
she handled the pressure well.
She's a good communicator.
That woman will network in two weeks.
She'll clearly meet people.
[upbeat music playing]
[male singer vocalizing]
Ready, set, go ♪
If you don't know, now you know ♪
Front row, startin' the show ♪
-We got that good ♪
-Whoa!
-You guys wanna get breakfast?
-Yes!
-Let's go.
-Yeah.
-Come on, Lilah.
-All done.
All done.
[funky drum beat playing]
That's everybody
Feelin' the good vibes ♪
Everybody, everybody
Feelin' the good ♪
You are a crazy girl.
[giggling]
You are crazy!
You are crazy.
Hey, girls.
-What are you doing?
-[giggles]
[bright, upbeat music playing]
Who wants to make breakfast? A smoothie?
-Yes!
-Come on.
-[giggles]
-[speaks indistinctly]
-You gonna help me? Okay.
-Yeah! I'll help you.
Okay, don't spill it please.
-Do you want a full piece?
-I want a whole piece.
-Nope, mine. [laughs]
-[exclaims] I want it!
-I want to blender this.
-You're gonna blender that?
Mom, where's the blender?
-How's Tyler doing?
-He's good.
We're gonna partner up
on one of his listings.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I feel bad. He's just been getting
eaten alive by the other agents.
-Yeah, he's going through
-He's having a really, really hard time.
Yeah.
He was living alone, and he said
he wasn't keeping himself busy,
so his mind was just kind of eating him.
You can imagine, you know?
-Yeah.
-I just want to be there for him.
[speaks indistinctly]
[whines]
-Hug me!
-You want a kiwi turtle?
Okay, sit down and eat your toasts.
Look at that. Can you say delicious?
-Delicious!
-Delicious!
-[Hazel] Daddy!
-What?
-Aren't you having toast?
-I'm having toast, yeah.
-Girls?
-Yeah.
Are you guys being good?
Yes. I'm going upstairs.
That's good.
In the past few weeks I've decided
that I don't want any more children.
[tense, dramatic instrumentals playing]
-Why?
-They're too crazy.
[girls whine indistinctly]
I'm not down, at all.
I've decided in the past few weeks
that I do, so
I know. You leg-locked me.
-And I'll keep doing it.
-Uh-uh.
Lisa takes care of the girls,
something I could never do. I admit that.
Literally everything else is my job.
The reason I work is to be able
to spend more time with my family.
So another kid would just it would mean
I'd have to work more
which means more time away
from my two girls and my wife.
I want to be able to be a father,
and be there for my kids and
That's the whole fuckin' point.
You're thinking about now
when it's hard, yes.
Later in life, it's amazing.
I'm thinking about like being able to
go to Colorado for ten days
or whatever, you know?
We can make more money, bring a nanny,
and bring the children on our trip.
-A travel nanny?
-Yeah.
I'm gonna have to be very wealthy
to have that.
I grew up, you know, poor.
My dad worked his ass off
to get where he is today.
He bought TV dinners and stuff.
We shop at Whole Foods and,
I don't know, it's way more expensive.
We'll figure it out.
Your mom gave you your credit card
when you were in college.
-You lived in LA, just swiping away.
-Huh?
Buying you a car and paying your rent
for you for the longest time.
[music ends abruptly]
What does that mean?
It means you don't know
the value of a dollar as much as I do.
[tense music playing]
Yeah.
I look at spending and I have to have
a certain amount to feel comfortable.
It's like, if I have another kid, I will
calculate what that's gonna cost us,
where we're gonna be
and have to do realistically
to live our same lifestyle.
I don't think
she thinks about those things.
I love her for that.
I wish I could be like that,
but it's on me to make it work.
[Hazel] Mommy!
Yes, baby?
I want two of these.
[shrieking]
[screams indistinctly]
I definitely want more kids.
They're amazing.
[shrieks]
-Why are we screaming? Two of what? No.
-I said that!
Fake it to make it ♪
You ain't gonna break it ♪
Steppin' up, glowin' up ♪
Take control, watch me go ♪
I'll make it ♪
-Hello! How are you?
-Hi!
-Good. How are you?
-Good.
-Good.
-Good. You look beautiful.
-Thank you. So do you.
-I love this.
-Thank you.
-Very romantic.
I gotta set the mood for you.
Yeah!
How we doing, ladies?
-Hi.
-My name's Luis.
Welcome to Sueño's.
Anything I can get you?
I would love a margarita.
You got it. What about you?
I'm gonna do an espresso martini,
but with tequila.
-Can you do just espresso, just tequila?
-Just the coffee?
-Yeah.
-You got it.
-Awesome.
-You know what you like.
-Yeah.
-That's good.
How are you, though?
How was Gio's party?
Unfortunately, I couldn't be there,
but I mean
Or fortunately.
I don't know. Maybe it is fortunate.
Well, it was a great event.
Overall, there was some drama, obviously.
It kinda first started off with Polly.
I confronted her about her getting caught
making out with Tyler in the office.
I told her, "I need an apology."
-"You owe me an apology."
-She does.
-Yeah.
-With salt, emphasis on the lime.
-Thank you. Beautiful.
-An espresso and tequila. Enjoy.
-Am I crazy for thinking that?
-You're not.
No, she ran around acting all triggered
because you, you know, flirted with Tyler.
And then she turns around, and they're
actually making out in the office,
which actually brings me to a point.
Do you remember when she said
I owed everyone else an apology
because I got everyone involved?
-I do.
-While her and Tyler were making out.
That means she got all of us involved,
so doesn't that mean
that she owes everyone in the office
an apology?
-Isn't that how it works?
-Polly doesn't know what an apology is.
-She doesn't even know where to begin.
-Mm-hm.
I always wondered, like,
"Why is she giving Kayla a hard time?"
Is it because she has feelings for Tyler,
because she feels threatened by you?
-[sighs]
-Polly's an exaggerator, a liar.
-[chortles]
-Um, a denier.
-Yeah.
-Unstable.
-Yeah.
-Just the typical
-Then she started calling me crazy.
-She called you crazy?
Yeah.
-For speaking the truth?
-Yeah.
I think it's a wonder this office
has not gone up in flames
because of all the gaslighting
that goes on.
Honestly, Kayla's in the right
on this one.
Let's just take a break from the bullshit.
How are you and Sergio?
The wedding planning?
Yeah. We're great.
Honestly, we've been engaged now
over two years.
So at this point, like, we're ready.
We decided, you know what,
how about just the two of us go have
the most romantic, intimate day in Italy.
Aw.
I have to see this
because I couldn't help I got blinded.
Wow. Holy cow.
I would be scared
to walk around with that thing on.
Tell me more about Sergio.
Yeah. He's been working so hard on
this company he started a few years ago.
It's a Fintech company
and he created an entire product,
has a patent on it.
I love that. Okay.
I don't know much about tech stuff.
-I don't either.
-Yeah.
He'll tell me things.
I'm like, "Hm. Okay."
[laughs]
I'm climbin' higher, higher, higher ♪
I'm gettin' lighter, lighter, lighter ♪
I'm feelin' so alive, so high ♪
Yeah, I'm feelin' so alive, so high ♪
Dreams are turnin' crystal clear ♪
Fudge!
We love to live and let go ♪
We're soarin' through the atmosphere ♪
Picture-perfect so long ♪
[male singer vocalizing]
What's up, Martha Stewart?
I prefer Julia Child,
but thank you very much.
How are you? I'm filthy.
-You're not making this from scratch.
-I am.
-What do you expect?
-Holy smokes.
What did you bring me?
-Wine.
-I literally just opened a bottle.
-This is good.
-Is it?
It's, like, life-changing.
Guess we'll find out. Cheers.
Do you have glass here?
-I was gonna put that in yours.
-Trying to poison us?
Is that actually glass?
Shut the fuck up. Let me see.
I was looking at the lip of the wine,
like, "She cracked it."
Oh my God, we're literally drinking glass.
Drinking glass or eating glass?
-Maybe both.
-Is there glass in the pasta?
-Holy shit. Tyler!
-Hall!
Do you think it's in the pasta?
-Look what you did.
-You're bleeding?
You did that on purpose.
You're so dramatic.
-Showing you what's gonna happen
-You need a Band-Aid?
-No. I stole your napkin.
-Let me get a Band-Aid.
-I'm fine.
-Let me get a Band-Aid.
It feels cooler
to keep bleeding on your counter.
I'm gonna give you a Band-Aid.
It might have like teddy bears on them,
but
Right up my alley.
It'll still work. Want me to put it on,
or are you a big boy?
I'll manage. I'll be just fine.
Hi, guys. Welcome to my house
where I'm making homemade pasta
and Tyler's bloody-ass rag
is on the counter.
-Knock knock. Hello!
-Hi, beautiful!
How are you?
[sighs] I'm ready for more wine.
This smells amazing. Hello.
Long time, no see.
-Nice to see you.
-Gonna forget about this.
I brought you a bottle of Whiny Baby.
-Whiny Baby? Thank you.
-Whiny Baby.
-How are you?
-I'm good.
I like this bottle, how it's clear.
What happened to your finger?
-Alex bit my finger!
-I bit his finger!
Thank you. We'll open another one
of these, these are really good.
"Feelin' Cocky." See? Cute name.
There's another one.
-My God, I love that. It's got a
-Isn't that cute?
cock on it. That one can be yours.
Love a big cock.
-Knock knock.
-Come in!
-Hey, fam.
-You alone or with Lisa?
-You with Lisa?
-Oh, she's doing Mommy Night.
-Aw.
-Some of the wives and kids.
Brought some wine
because I know we'll need another bottle.
Apparently, I don't know how
to use these wine openers.
The old school? You gotta get the rabbit.
[laughs] Which one are you talking about?
-[laughter]
-Which one?
-Well, that would be in the bedroom.
-They both vibrate.
Do they?
-Are you making homemade pasta?
-I am, yes.
I'm excited. We had a good time last year.
-It has glass in it.
-There's probably glass.
-Oh no! What happened?
-Come on. You know what?
-What happened?
-This bottle? The rest is in our pasta.
-Oh no! Well, you can't drink it.
-Rude!
The glass will get in your wine, no?
The glass was in the pasta.
You think that's so funny, don't you?
-I wanna enjoy the sunset.
-I'm coming with you.
-Need a hand in the kitchen?
-No, the lasagna's in the oven.
-Lasagna? Yes!
-Lasagna?
Oh my!
What's for dessert?
Me!
You're lookin' real good tonight ♪
Go, baby ♪
Light, medium, heavy?
I'll go whatever you got there.
-Bon appétit!
-Oh my God.
-Delicious?
-Yes!
This should be the best lasagna
you've ever had.
-Cheers. Thanks for having us.
-Cheers.
Cheers. I am so excited.
I didn't have any carbs today.
Really? Well, you're gonna have
a carb overload in a second.
[Polly] Kayla was a bloody disaster
at Gio's the other day.
Shots were fucking fired.
I've always had that vibe
with Kayla though.
She was definitely, um
a lot spicier
than I really ever experienced her.
-'Cause she's a psychopath.
-What's that saying?
You argue with crazy, you become crazy.
-Isn't that a saying?
-It should be.
That's how I feel
when I have a conversation with her.
I feel like I'm nuts.
I already feel like that on a daily basis.
I don't need anything added to my crazy.
You can't argue with crazy.
No. I don't even want to argue.
I just want to
-It's insane.
-I just wanna rationalize.
Let's just be real.
She's just
[groans softly]
S There's a screw
[groans] I don't know if it's completely
missing, but it's really loose.
It's really loose, okay?
We know we're dealing with a psychopath.
What are we stressing about?
Which one is the psychopath?
-There's a few.
-There's a few.
-[laughs boisterously]
-Mm-hm.
-Jinx.
-Cheers to that.
[laughter]
I feel like Jarvis is the most
calculating one out of all of them.
Jarvis used Rose to get into the office.
-Now she's in, she'll be like, "Thanks!"
-She's kind of said it, yeah.
And she was all over Ali
when I brought her into the office.
-She's smart.
-She is smart.
-Calculating.
-She passed the bar. She's smart.
I experienced something weird
with Jarvis.
-Oh God.
-I was hanging out with people
from the office on Halloween
and I went to this random house party
and fucking Jarvis was there.
It was the strangest party
I've ever been to.
A bunch of rich, fat men,
with, like, beautiful women everywhere.
All the girls were dressed Halloween.
-Slutty.
-[Tyler] Yeah.
[Austin] Slutty.
She got really weird when she saw me,
like, I wasn't supposed to be there.
She left very quickly,
but when I went to talk to her,
she had just, like, scurried off.
-Was it a swinger party?
-Oh
-It felt like something weird.
-No! That's interesting.
-Is interesting.
-Swinger party or like, uh
-What?
-Jarvis is a swinger.
Um, I don't I'm not
I'm not saying that, but like
I've been to weird parties in LA
and that beats them all. It was weird.
Super weird.
That kind of checks out.
If you're 28 years old
-Is she 28?
-Who's 28?
-How old is Jarvis?
-No idea.
She's gotta be 32, 33.
Let's say you're 32, 33,
and you're with somebody who's 50.
Is he 50?
He's old as fuck.
Generally, that's not for love.
-I believe that age has no number.
-20 plus years?
-Money doesn't have a number.
-Is it 20 plus?
-Money does not
-Money has a number.
I don't know anything about her
other than the fact
that she's been married about 17 times.
-What?
-Married or engaged?
I have heard that she's been engaged
or married multiple times.
Her ring is this big. She could buy
the craziest investment property.
-It's like the Gibraltar Rock.
-Is it real?
Guarantee this wedding doesn't go through.
She won't get married to this one.
If they all look like this ring,
she's got a nice collection.
The ring collector.
Power's on the mental
Fury's in the madness ♪
Get on my level, who do you run with? ♪
Watch out, watch out ♪
-[music pauses dramatically]
-We're goin' up in smoke ♪
-[music resumes]
-I like the danger, danger ♪
Uh ♪
I like the danger, danger ♪
I like the danger, danger ♪
I like the danger, danger ♪
Uh ♪
Watch out, watch out ♪
-Watch out ♪
-Watch out ♪
[dark, dramatic music continues]
[twinkling, rumbling musical flourish]
[triumphant musical flourish]