Sex/Life (2021) s02e03 Episode Script

1
It can be scary
putting yourself out there.
It's the time of the season ♪
Giving your heart to someone
with no guarantee
it will be handled with care.
Of course, the hope is
taking that chance
will lead to something extraordinary.
to promised lands ♪
To show you everyone ♪
It's the time of the season for loving ♪
What's your name? ♪
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me? ♪
- Has he taken ♪
- Has he taken ♪
- Any time ♪
- Any time ♪
To show you what you need to live? ♪
Tell you what? ♪
I really want to know ♪
It's the time of the season for loving ♪
Oh.
- Has he taken ♪
- Has he taken ♪
- Any time ♪
- Any time to show ♪
To show you what you need to live? ♪
Tell it to me slowly ♪
Tell you what? ♪
I love you, Billie.
I love you too.
Hello, khoshgelam.
- I've been thinking about you all morning.
- Yeah? What kind of thoughts?
Oh, very, very good ones,
and some very bad ones too.
I swear the days you're in Connecticut
are the longest three days of my life.
I'm back tonight,
and I can't wait to see you
at the holiday party.
You better have
some of that babaganoush waiting for me.
Yes, ma'am.
But you sure you're gonna be okay coming?
I know it might be weird for you
with Brad and Gigi there.
Oh, I'll be fine.
I mean, I actually haven't even
thought about him in a while.
Besides, I'll have my girl Sasha,
so it'll all be good.
And you'll have me.
Okay, I have to get the kids ready,
so I will see you tonight, azizam.
Until then, eshghe man.
Okay. Ha.
Oh. Whoo!
She's back.
Thought we lost you to cyberspace forever.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You know social's a big part of my brand,
especially if I want a huge turnout today.
I've never headlined anything this major.
I know
today is not exactly about the male gaze,
but I do love watching you
in your element.
I was hoping I could come with.
Um, I don't know.
It's kind of a girl thing.
You know, lots of sugar scrubs,
jade eggs, vibrator necklaces.
I love vibrator necklaces.
But you know what I love even more?
Being a part of your life.
- All the way.
- Kam.
I know you're all about setting boundaries
and carving out independence,
but I feel like I've been a part of this.
You have, and it's been really wonderful
and really fucking weird all at once.
Okay, real talk. After I made the decision
not to go to California with you,
I organized my life in
a very specific way.
I've always felt
having a partner would limit me.
But
these last three months
I don't know, I've felt sustained by it.
Good.
That's what I want.
See, I can be the Stedman to your Oprah.
Boy, you are definitely
the Jay-Z to my Beyoncé.
Then let me come with you today.
I don't want to hear
about your latest triumph
over a glass of wine
at the end of the day.
I wanna be there, babe.
Hashtag, "IRL."
Besides, I am really good at girl things.
Want me to show you?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Let me show you.
- Okay.
You almost there?
My jaw is starting to lock.
Maybe you can try
using a little less teeth.
You know what? Forget it.
Wake up, dude.
A lot of guys love my blowjobs.
Slut.
I heard that.
Yeah? Well, I heard you.
That's a first.
Okay, honey.
I'm gonna see you in three sleeps.
That's a long time.
I know,
but you can FaceTime me whenever you want.
You know that.
What do you do
when you're not here with me and Ellary?
Well, I go to school, just like you.
I do my homework, I teach classes,
and then sometimes I see Auntie Sasha.
Do you have a friend
like Daddy has Francesca?
You know Francesca?
She came for dinner. We made cookies.
So Francesca's been to the house.
She brought me Waddles.
- Waddles?
- My penguin.
- Billie? What are you doing here?
- Hey, Jill. I just need to talk to Cooper.
But Cooper doesn't work here anymore.
What are you talking about?
He hasn't worked here for months.
Didn't he tell you?
No, he didn't.
Ah.
Well, he made quite an exit.
Everyone's still talking about it.
I think he's working
for Morgan Stanley now.
Excuse me.
If it ain't the Wolf of Wall Street.
- Yo! Sorry to keep you waiting.
- No, it's all good.
Your assistant got me a matcha latte.
Can't believe
you guys have an in-house barista.
All they give us at Frugal Sky
are shitty poppy seed bagels.
How are things over at Do-Gooder, Inc.?
A lot better
since slamming the receptionist.
Jill?
Jill!
Fuck.
I always say Jane,
but you're right, it's Jill.
- Dev.
- I know.
I know, you and Francesca,
but fuck cautionary tales
because it's Christmas,
and Jill is the perfect stocking stuffer
to cure my holiday blue balls.
- Does Trina know?
- I don't know, probably.
Trina's a lot of things,
but she ain't dumb. What about you?
You and Franny
still riding off into the sunset together?
Yeah. Yeah, things are good.
So where are you taking me to lunch?
Nice try, but you're the one
with the company black card,
so I'm thinking we hit Masa.
All right.
I could go for a little omakase.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry, Dev. I gotta take a rain check.
It's a Billie thing.
Hey, crazy never sleeps, right?
Tell me about it.
I'll talk to you.
As you can see on my résumé,
I was here for eight years.
Ed Fredlich
promoted me to Junior VP at 24,
making me the youngest exec
to lead my own team at the time.
Oh, you knew Ed Fredlich?
Yes, he was my mentor.
The two of us signed Dove together.
Well, Ed's a legend around here,
but when was that?
Oh, my God.
That was the year I got my braces.
Middle school can be so brutal, right?
Oh. Tell me about it.
My daughter just started, and her moods
I'd forgotten all about that.
Your daughter's in middle school?
I took some time off to raise my kids,
but that experience
has given me new perspective,
especially on how to appeal
to the burgeoning mommy market.
And considering 80% of your clients
cater to those consumers,
that knowledge could be a real asset.
- What's your social media presence like?
- I have over 1000 Facebook friends.
You sound just like my mom.
She's really into Facebook too.
No, I meant Instagram, TikTok, Twitter.
Are you familiar with Peanut?
The landscape's changed
quite significantly since you worked here.
No one watches commercials.
It's all about Twitch and Clubhouse.
I pick things up very quickly.
I'm sure you do.
Thank you so much for coming in.
Let me give this a thought.
- Would you like a list of my references?
- That's not necessary.
It was really nice meeting you.
A real history lesson.
Everyone says, "Follow the rules
Do what we do, don't make a scene" ♪
Whoa. I have never seen
so many vibrators in my life.
Sasha!
Sangita Patel from Entertainment Tonight.
Can I have a few words?
Uh, yeah, of course!
Go on now, give me your coat.
I'm here with Sasha Snow, the mastermind
behind today's uber-empowering event,
Independent Woman 4 Life.
You must be thrilled by the turnout.
Thank you, Sangita. We are.
Especially because
20% of today's proceeds will go towards
micro-financing female entrepreneurs
in developing countries,
so we're hoping to sell a lot of T-shirts.
Fabulous! But if you don't mind,
I'd like to talk about you.
Oh, honey, I never mind.
What do you wanna know?
Three months ago,
you were a best-selling author,
but still relatively unknown.
Now you're practically a household name,
leading the charge
for smart young women everywhere.
What's your secret?
- Well, I have a really great agent.
- Of course.
But also
I have a really great boyfriend.
You have a boyfriend?
Can you tell our viewers anything
about this lucky mystery man?
I'll do you one better. Kam.
- Oh, no, no.
- Come here.
- Come on, don't be shy.
- Okay, all right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This is Dr. Kamani Evans.
He provides medical disaster relief
all over the world
through his non-profit First Do No Harm.
So nice to meet you.
The pleasure's all mine.
A charming doctor that looks like that?
Hell of a secret weapon.
What does this mean for the future?
Will upcoming books
be written by Sasha Evans?
Girl, please.
If anything, he'll be treating patients
as Dr. Kamani Snow.
So tell me, are you able
to be unapologetically sexual,
as you call it in the book,
with Dr. Kamani?
Oh, absolutely.
You know, Kam was actually my first.
Talk about coming full circle.
Oh, I got your full circle.
This man knows how to work my situation.
Now, there's a visual
I'll be taking to bed tonight.
Then take this. He does this thing,
it's called the butter churner.
- He lifts my legs, stands in front of me
- Okay, I think that's enough.
Tell me more!
No, seriously, I'm telling you,
the butter churner will change your life.
I'll do a post about it. Check for it.
Okay, maybe we should talk more
about microfinancing. Anybody?
You two are so adorable.
Thank you so much!
Thank you.
Merry Christmas!
Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
So you won't even meet me indoors now?
Hmm. Oh, I don't know.
Just feels safer to have witnesses.
You quit Blue Sky without even telling me.
Whoops. Sorry, Mom. Guess I forgot
to have my permission slip signed.
Oh, Jesus, Cooper.
And now you're back with the evil empire?
Whatever happened
to working for principles?
You called me to talk about morality?
If that's the case,
it will be a short conversation.
Okay, all right.
I called to talk about Francesca.
- Are you two dating now?
- I don't think that's your business.
It is when you're
introducing her to our kids.
I assumed we would
discuss something like that first.
Well, you assumed wrong again.
Cooper, I have been trying so hard
to do things the right way
for the sake of our kids.
Then you have nothing to worry about.
Francesca's amazing
with Hudson and Ellary.
Does she spend the night
when she visits the house?
No. But I do spend the night
at her place when I'm in the city.
You told the lawyers
you were staying with your brother.
Please. As if this is any different
from your arrangement.
An empty apartment, which,
let's be honest, is just a PO box,
while you shack up with Brad.
Cooper, no. Brad and I are not together.
Oh, no. No, of course not.
No, he's having a baby with someone else.
We've both moved on.
Oh, Cooper.
I told you this was never about Brad.
Which means
that this is about me.
Got it.
Cooper, wait.
You should have seen him, Sash.
It was like his whole world split open.
And I tried telling him all along
that this wasn't about Brad,
but he wouldn't listen.
He was just so angry.
But today I saw how much pain there was
underneath all that anger.
I'm worried about him, Sash.
Cooper's a rich, handsome white guy
in Manhattan, okay?
- He's gonna be fine.
- I'm not so sure he is.
It's not your sink, not your dishes.
- Cooper's not your husband anymore.
- We were together for nine years, Sasha.
He's the father of my children.
And he will continue
to be best dad ever to those kids.
But for you, he's in the past.
Majid is your future, and he is amazing.
I mean, not Kam amazing,
but still pretty fucking great.
Pretty fucking great. Yeah.
Trina.
- Cooper.
- Hey. What are you doing in the city, huh?
Big shopping day?
More like retail therapy.
Ugh. Sounds like you had
as crappy a day as I did.
I actually had a meeting
about getting my old job back.
Oh, no kidding? How'd that go?
When it was over, I ran to Bergdorf's
and dropped four grand
on a studded McQueen knuckle clutch,
so super practical.
All they want are 20-something influencers
with mega followers.
- Ugh. What a world, huh?
- Yeah.
Do you have a Twitch?
Do I? No.
Does it look like I do? Because my eye
will flutter sometimes when I'm tired.
- It's a streaming platform.
- Oh, God.
At least I'm not the last person
to hear about it.
Well, this is me.
Please don't say anything to Devon.
I didn't even tell him
I was going for the interview.
I'm invisible enough at home.
I don't wanna give him
more excuses to dismiss me.
No, no, no, of course not.
But I think it's great
you're putting yourself out there.
They'd be lucky to have you.
I remember when we first met,
you were absolutely crushing it
in the ad world.
I'm glad someone remembers that person.
Well, get home safe, okay?
Cooper.
Do you ever think about that night?
At the party.
Yeah. I think about it all the time.
Me too.
- What time do your kids go to bed?
- Nine o'clock. Why?
Think maybe you could sneak out
without getting noticed?
I won't be home for Christmas
Darling, not this year ♪
The trains have all stopped
In their tracks ♪
The snow's up to our ears ♪
Holy holiday party!
Right?
They're serving 1942 at the open bar?
Oh, yo. Don't mess this up, Billie,
because your boy Majid's a keeper.
So I guess we're starting with tequila.
Mm!
Bills, you want?
I'll catch you guys later.
I'm go gonna find Majid joon,
my sexy boyfriend.
Have fun.
There's my babies. Hi, Ells!
- Hi, Daddy.
- How are you, buddy? I missed you.
Hi, Cooper.
Olga. Hi.
How would you like to
take the night off tonight?
What are you talking about? No, I'm fine.
Oh, please.
You have been working non-stop lately,
and you deserve this,
so here, I insist, all right?
I want you to go get yourself
a nice dinner, go see a movie.
I suppose I could go
and see my sister's new condo.
She's been asking me to stay over.
Yeah, I think that's a fantastic idea,
so I'm gonna just take that, all right?
And why don't you go get ready?
All right, kiddos, who's ready for PJs?
Ells, yes? Hudson, yeah? Huh?
- Billie? Hey. Look what I have.
- Oh.
Who was that woman?
What woman?
The Kim Cattrall look-a-like
that was nuzzled up to your neck,
trying to, what, guess your cologne?
That's just Crystal.
She's one of our investors.
She seemed pretty invested in you.
She's just tipsy.
She acts that way with everyone.
Besides, I'm in the restaurant business.
Pretending to flirt with the ladies
is part of the gig.
Sorry to interrupt.
Mind if I steal Billie for a sec?
- You owe me a dance later. Okay?
- Okay, all right.
What's going on?
I wanted to give you a heads up.
I just saw Brad and Gigi, and they are
married.
We'll be happier ♪
Than we have ♪
- I can't believe this is happening.
- Do you wanna get out of here?
I don't get it. I thought I'd be fine.
I am in love with Majid.
I mean, I haven't even thought
about Brad in months, but
He's married?
I know.
I keep trying to do what you say
and live in the future,
but the past just keeps
kicking me in the ass.
- They're headed this way.
- Okay.
- You want me to stay?
- I'm fine. It's okay.
I've got my big girl panties on.
It's okay.
- I'll be there if you need me.
- Okay.
You got this.
- Billie, hi! It's so good to see you.
- Hi.
- You remember Gigi?
- Yes, of course.
And I just heard the news. Congrats.
Thank you.
It was the best weekend I've ever had.
We snuck away to Playa del Carmen.
It was very intimate, family only.
Well, it was supposed to be until he flew
my best friends out to surprise me.
But the biggest surprise of all,
he got Enrique Iglesias
to serenade us on our first dance.
- How amazing is that?
- Enrique? Wow!
He was in Cancun on vacation
with his family, anyway, so
Brad's so modest.
He really pulled out all the stops.
The only thing you didn't do
was get a haircut.
- Oh.
- But he did shave.
Oh, my gosh. Is that Natalia?
Would you excuse me? I haven't seen her
since we were Angels together.
We walked the show in Shanghai.
Excuse me.
Angels, as in?
Victoria's Secret, yeah.
So that's
your wife.
Yeah. I thought about reaching out
to let you know, but
Oh, why would you?
This is a good thing, you know. Um
For you.
For your baby.
I'm so sorry, Billie.
For what?
Picking her?
- Billie, I
- No, don't. Don't.
I can't.
We can have the life
we always should have had.
It's not too late.
I'm telling you, B. I've got you.
This can be real.
Billie. Hi.
I swear I have to pee every 30 minutes.
This baby is using my bladder
as a punching bag.
Yes, I I remember those days. Yeah.
I'm glad I ran into you.
I was hoping we'd get the chance to talk.
About what?
None of my other friends have kids yet,
and I have been dying to get some advice
from someone
who's been through it all before.
Brad says you're an amazing mother.
- He told you that?
- He did.
Anyway, sorry to just
put it all out there,
but did you breastfeed?
Yes. Yes, I did. I did. I, um
I breastfed both of my kids.
- Wow, that's amazing.
- Yeah.
See, I really want to,
but my mom says it ruins your boobs
and that pump thing looks frightening.
Well, I mean,
you get used to it, you know.
Besides, if you want a night off,
let alone to go back to work,
then that thing is gonna become
your breast friend.
Good to know.
Yeah. Brad is set on nursing.
- He's reading this book on the benefits
- Of breastfeeding?
I know, right?
He's been reading all the parenting books.
Brad! Who would have thought?
He wants to do this thing
called the family bed.
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, where he wants our son to sleep
- Oh, um
It's a boy?
Brad's ecstatic.
He said he didn't care either way,
but I know he wanted a son.
Anyway, he wants us
to all sleep in the big bed
to maximize skin-to-skin contact,
which is so sweet, really,
but I've just heard it's so important
to get the baby in his crib
as early as possible if there's any hope
of having a post-baby sex life.
You know what? Just stop. Um
Honestly, we could debate this forever,
but I'll just tell you this,
co-sleeping, at least at first,
makes nighttime feedings easier,
but then eventually,
you'll want to get the baby into
his own crib, because you'll want
that time for yourself
and for your husband.
- Billie, wait.
- I'm sorry, I just, uh
I need to go find Majid.
You came.
Well, not yet.
But hopefully, very soon.
Can I get you a glass of wine, or?
Um
Okay, then.
Shh.
Sorry.
Hey. Come with me.
Okay.
That's Billie's?
Billie's not here.
We are.
Mm.
Now that is an outfit.
Did you pick that up at Bergdorf's too?
Wait till you see what else
I've got in store for you.
This is your lucky night, Cooper Connelly.
You've been a very naughty boy.
- I have been, haven't I?
- Mm.
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Is this what you want?
Yes.
Beg me.
Oh
Please, please, please.
Daddy?
Hudson, get out of here!
Shit!
You're not leaving here tonight ♪
We're tucked in safe and tight ♪
Our fire has a little bit of life ♪
Hey. I'm so sorry.
Have you guys seen Majid?
I can't find him anywhere.
Are you okay? How'd it go with Brad?
- I can't even think about it.
- Uh-oh.
Do I need to kick some Aussie ass?
Slash some motorcycle tires?
It was fucking awful.
- I'll get us drinks.
- Thank you.
He said he was sorry,
which was humiliating.
And then his wife cornered me
with questions about motherhood,
like I'm the freaking La Leche League.
- I could not hate her more.
- No.
That's the worst part.
She's so nice.
She's way too nice to be friends with us.
And, apparently,
Brad has become super dad,
doing all the things we were
supposed to do when we were together,
as if I was the trial run,
then he got it all right with her.
I just really need
to find my fucking boyfriend.
Okay, we will find him.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
No. You go find Kam, okay?
Enjoy your evening.
- I'm gonna be fine, okay?
- Oh, okay.
- Hi, Clare. Have you seen Majid?
- Hi.
I haven't. Maybe try the office?
Oh, yes.
- Crystal.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Is this part of the restaurant biz too?
Just let me explain.
Go to hell.
Billie! Wait!
- No.
- Please, just hear me out.
I trusted you. You said you loved me.
I do love you.
This thing with Crystal, it's complicated.
You think my life isn't complicated?
I told you everything about my marriage,
about the mistakes that I made,
- about Brad.
- I know.
I didn't want any secrets
this time around,
so you need to be
honest with me right now.
Can we please
just go back inside and talk?
- Hudson.
- Mommy!
Hey, honey. Hey.
What's going on? Are you okay?
Daddy yelled at me.
Okay, what are you talking about?
- Why are you still awake?
- Daddy was stuck on the bed,
and Trina was there,
and she wasn't wearing any
- Oh, my God.
- Hudson! What are you doing?
- Cooper, what is going on?
- I want Mommy!
I got it handled, Billie. Okay?
- It's my night.
- I want Mommy!
Billie. Please.
I can't deal with you
or any of this right now.
I need to go see my son.
- I can drive you.
- Right. Because that's not complicated.
Fuck!
Hey, Sash.
Brad Simon. Trouble from Down Under.
Have you seen Billie?
No, is she okay? We talked earlier.
I'm sure she's fine.
Probably cozied up in a corner with Majid.
Hey, congrats on your big news.
Never thought I'd see the day.
You're finally gonna be a dad.
Yeah, it's, uh
It's all happening really fast.
I just hope you know what you're doing.
For everyone's sake.
Any sign of her?
No, I looked everywhere.
Well, maybe she left with Majid.
I do hope she's all right.
You're such a good boyfriend.
Well
I love you.
So I better be.
I love you too.
Sorry, I gotta take this.
Let me guess. Mick?
Mick. Hey, what's up?
Not your Q score, that's for damn sure.
Have you seen Twitter?
Uh, no, why? What's wrong?
Open it the fuck right now.
Oh, fuck.
"Oh, fuck" is right, Miss Dependent.
We need to turn this shit around fast.
I don't know who this guy is,
but he's killing your brand.
Billie, you don't need to be here.
I told you, I've got this.
Are you kidding me right now?
What the hell were you thinking?
With Trina, in our house,
in front of our son?
Mommy!
Hudson!
Hi.
Let's go to bed. Oh, my big boy!
You've been staring at that thing
for two days straight.
You're gonna go cross-eyed, you know that?
I just can't believe it's real.
But you're right.
I should probably throw this away.
Ah-ah-ah. Not a chance.
I'm gonna get this thing framed. Yeah.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Honey. Are you okay?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just
Just all holiday-partied out, that's all.
I'm good.
I'm not sure that's it.
I think tonight was harder for Billie
than you said it would be.
And I think it was harder for you too.
No, Gigi, look, I told you.
What Billie and I had,
it's in the past.
You are my wife.
You're the mother of my son.
And I am so damn happy
I get to spend
the rest of my life with you.
Are you sure?
Because I know a way to make you sure.
To make sure that I am the only woman
on your mind.
Cooper?
Hudson's asleep.
Look, I know I messed up. I
Cooper, just tell me what's going on.
I I know you're hurting,
but Trina's your best friend's wife.
And what about Francesca?
I don't I don't know.
Okay? I don't know what I'm doing.
I thought Francesca was the answer, but
It's like there's this
this emptiness, there's this
this void inside me
that I'm trying to fill.
Maybe I'm trying to fuck my troubles away.
Nothing feels right.
I just miss you, Billie.
I miss us
together in this house with our family.
Oh, Cooper.
I am so sorry
for so many things.
But I am especially sorry for hurting you.
I really do want us to work through this.
Maybe
Maybe we could go to counseling after all?
Don't go home to the city.
Spend the night here.
We can wake up together with the kids.
That's not what I meant.
Yeah, but if you're not with Brad
There's somebody else.
You need to go.
Cooper, hang on.
Hang on a second. We should talk.
- I said get out.
- Okay, please don't do this again.
Get out of the fucking house!
Don't leave me in the dark too long ♪
I happily wait ♪
That's the risk you take
when you give your heart to someone.
They can break it into a million pieces.
And sometimes more than once.
I'm reaping what I've sown ♪
Don't leave me in the dark ♪
Please, just let me down ♪
Let me go, but please ♪
Don't leave me in the dark ♪
I don't want you to see Billie
ever again.
Come meet me in the dark ♪
Please ♪
Come meet me in the dark ♪
Feels so much like home ♪
Waiting here alone ♪
God, we burned so bright ♪
That's how I lost my sight ♪