Sexy Beasts (2021) s02e03 Episode Script

1
One of my doubts about you was that you
haven't been in a relationship before
so why do you think that is?
I just go for the wrong people
What about you?
I used to, like, get myself into
some weird situations.
No, nothing weird about this.
[narrator] Let's face it,
when it comes to dating,
it's all about looks.
- I was on the cover of Playboy.
- [slurping]
So, in this show, we've made
everyone look ridiculous.
I think it looks like a ball bag.
Could you fall in love
based only on personality?
This could possibly be love.
And would you change your mind
when you saw their real face?
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Welcome to the weirdest blind date ever.
Are you ready to marry me?
This is Sexy Beasts.
Meet Devon, a recruiter
from San Francisco.
I have been single for about
six or seven months now,
and I think I am about ready
to start dating again.
And doing so with her new furry face
could be a game-changer.
I found that my look tends to be
a bit polarizing for people.
You find it either really attractive
or it's not your cup of tea,
but I'm happy with it.
Thanks, Mom and Dad.
So, what kind of guy would get
our big cat purring?
I tend to go for slightly
nerdy-looking guys.
I could talk about
Lord of the Rings for a while.
Somebody who loves to travel.
If they're attractive, great,
but I don't think that's
the most important thing,
given the circumstances here.
Definitely the first time
I've been on a date with a beard.
I'm going to make all of them
touch it. [laughing]
Easy, tiger.
Here come three guys who are all hoping to
run their fingers through Devon's beard.
And we start with Nigel,
a film student and former military
photographer from Chicago.
I'm a chronic relationship dude.
I've only been single for, like,
one year in my entire life.
And that's been this year.
But, apparently, I'm a fire-ass boyfriend.
So, what makes for a fire-ass girlfriend?
Apart from spicy food, obviously.
I'm all about personality.
I definitely want a girl
who has passion and drive.
You have to be a go-getter.
I'm a go-getter.
And is this go-getter confident
he can go-get today?
I already manifested that
I'm in here like swimwear.
- Splash.
- [water splashing]
Okay, great.
[laughing]
Hoping Devon doesn't wanna get wet with
a warthog is student Sam from Boston.
I have never been in, like,
a serious relationship,
and I guess that's why I'm here.
I don't wanna be a bachelor anymore.
I'm trying to find someone who
has something special.
And what kind of something special
gets an ogre's pulse racing?
I've found that I tend to value
personality way more than looks.
Oh, perfect for this show.
But, if she has a high-quality ass,
I'm happy with that.
Typical for this show.
Firmness is key.
Yeah, got the message.
I think I'm a good catch,
because I'm entertaining and
nice?
Said with confidence.
Surely, we have a winner.
But to win,
he'll have to beat off Patrick.
A model and personal trainer
originally from Italy.
People tend to judge me the way I look,
and that makes me feel upset.
[sorrowful music playing]
Aw.
That might be the saddest fish moment
since Nemo's mom died.
Yeah, it's a spoiler. Grow up.
So, people tend to assume that
I'm a cool person, I'm a player,
but that's definitely not the truth.
So, he's not a player, but is he a stayer?
I'm hundred percent honest, loyal.
I try to give all myself to
the person I love.
I think I'm a good catch.
Well, Pat-fish, I'm hooked,
particularly when you're fluent
in the world's most romantic language.
Hey, how you doing?
You're looking beautiful.
Would you like to go for a drink?
Great. Now I think fish are sexy.
Again.
Devon will stalk her prey in a bar.
Convince me that I need you.
Selling point number one, funny as .
Selling point number two, mad loyal.
Based on first impressions, she'll then
ditch the dude she likes the least.
- I wanna ask you how old you are?
- Eighty in cat years.
- Ooh, okay.
- Yeah. I look great, I think.
And only then will we find out
what he really looks like.
I'm not frequently an ogre,
but I'm enjoying it.
- This is my first time with a beard.
- Not the first time being a tiger?
- It's an every-other-day kind of thing.
- Great.
[laughing]
Go get 'em, tiger.
Would you rather cry hot sauce
or sweat barbecue sauce?
I would rather cry hot Does it burn?
It burns every time you cry,
but you sticky every time you sweat.
I would cry hot sauce.
I don't think I cry that often.
Oh, all right.
But when you cry, it's going down.
[laughing]
He is a very high energy person.
He was definitely entertaining, yes.
Upper body of a fish,
or lower body of a fish?
Lower body of a fish,
'cause I feel like merman get play.
- [laughing]
- [Nigel] You know?
So, what do you do for work?
- I'm a personal trainer.
- Oh, cool.
He looks like the creature from
The Shape of Water, and in it,
the fish creature and
main character get together,
and that was definitely
what I was thinking about.
- What about you?
- I'm a recruiter.
- So, I hire software engineers.
- You have a job for me?
If you happen to be a software engineer,
we can chat about it, but
Favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings. Any of them.
- They're your favorite books as well?
- Honestly?
- Lord of the Rings books are slow.
- They're very slow. They're exhausting.
No, way better movies.
Plus one for liking Lord of the Rings.
[laughing]
Some CFR, some Chance For Romance?
Um, yeah, sure.
I wanna know about you.
What are your dreams, goals, ambitions?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
That's funny. I went on
a spirit quest a year ago,
"I'm gonna figure out what I wanna do."
I went hiking, turned off my phone,
couldn't figure it out. No idea.
- Sometimes you gotta flow with it.
- Yeah.
I should've brought some
catnip in here. Meow Mix.
- Funny, I actually hate cats.
- I do, too.
[laughing]
Must be tough to be a personal trainer
with all that pizza and pasta.
- Yeah. I love Italian food.
- Is it your favorite food?
Nah. Probably my favorite food is sushi.
Is that cannibalism?
- [laughing]
- That was good.
- What was your favorite place to visit?
- I loved Budapest.
- Ooh, I was gonna go to Budapest.
- Budapest is wonderful.
There's sparties.
Spa parties?
Yeah. You're just, like,
in a hot pool of beer and vodka.
Tears and probably some blood.
[groaning]
If I ask you what three best features are?
I think I'm a really loyal person,
I'm very thoughtful,
and I think I have
a decent sense of humor.
I'm here in a tiger outfit, so
- Yeah.
- Gotta be able to laugh at yourself.
- Hundred percent.
- What are yours?
- Uh, I think I'm quite ambitious.
- Okay.
If I'm with someone,
I have eyes only for that person.
I think you have four eyes.
That's pretty incredible.
[laughing]
- So, favorite place that you've been?
- I would say Tazakhstan.
- Okay.
- It was cool. Everybody was super trippy.
I bought this really fire robe.
I should've worn it
- Should've worn the robe.
- You would've been, like, "Wow."
Now that I know what I don't have,
I'm disappointed.
You're looking at a chicken dinner,
this a winner.
Big plus, he's well-traveled.
It's something I'm passionate about
and I wanna continue doing
for the rest of my life.
What is the most embarrassing thing
that's ever happened to you?
- Okay, I'm in China.
- Nice.
First night, I'm meeting my host family,
but I really had to go to the bathroom.
There's one bathroom in the house,
and my host brother took it.
My host parents gave me
some delicious soup,
but I really had to go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
- So, I went in the soup.
Oh, my God. [laughing]
Mm, pee soup.
So, which of our boys did enough
to catch the eye of the tiger?
And who will be leaving the game?
I really think me and Devon had
a great time on our date.
It was really interesting,
'cause you can't tell
how somebody feels about you
when you can't see their face.
She seemed really fun.
I've been to other dates,
they were definitely worse than this one.
I think it was fantastic.
I think I was getting
a good vibe from her.
I'd be happy to go on another date.
Even on my best week,
I don't think I've dated
three guys back-to-back
in this short of a period of time.
It's intense.
They're very different guys
and have very different personalities
and very different traits.
I can't say I feel great about having to
make the decision, but it must be done.
And it must be done right here
at Sexy Beasts Manor,
Britain's most prestigious
ditching destination.
One of these men is about to get the chop
and then we'll all get a look
at his real face.
Hi, everyone. Thank you for taking
the time to go on dates with me.
- I really appreciate your time and effort.
- All right.
Sam, I had a really good time with you.
I thought we had great chemistry.
The fact that you peed in a soup
might take time for me to get over.
- But I think there's potential.
- [chuckling]
Patrick, I think you're
incredibly ambitious.
I had a good time with you,
but, uh, the conversation wasn't
as flowing as I had hoped.
And Nigel, I think you're super funny
and have a really strong personality
[laughing]
but I think
I got to know you really well.
I'm not a hundred percent sure
if you got to know me as well.
I have made a decision.
And the person who will not be going
on another date with me is
[tense music playing]
Patrick.
Well, I guess Devon won't be
having the fish tonight.
Really sorry.
- It's great getting to know you.
- That's okay.
- Plenty of fish in the sea for you.
- [laughing]
Too soon, Nigel.
I'm a little bit disappointed.
I thought we had a connection.
Obviously, we We didn't.
It's quite cliché.
The cat was not into the fish.
Or I guess killed it.
But, you know,
the animal kingdom. [chuckling]
Okay. That's, uh
[hesitates] nice?
Before Devon gives in to her natural
instincts and finishes the fish off,
let's rip off his face
and reveal the man underneath.
Frutti di mare!
Let's be honest, that's one Italian dish
we'd all be delighted with.
Will Devon be disappointed
she won't be taking a bite?
I've never been more excited
to see a dude in my life.
Besides Santa Claus.
[laughing]
- [Devon] Ooh.
- [Sam] Whoa.
[Nigel] Yeah, man.
[chuckling] Wow. Okay.
You look nothing like
I thought you would. [laughing]
- Bro, you mad dashin'.
- [laughing]
Thanks, thanks. Wanna go on a date?
[laughing]
Patrick is certainly an attractive guy.
But I stand by my choices about
having connection and compatibility,
and we just didn't have that,
so no regrets.
Will Patrick feel the same when he gets
a sneaky look at Devon's real face?
Okay. Wow.
She's gorgeous.
She's definitely my type.
So, the Italian stallion's out,
leaving the warthog and the ogre in
a tusk-off for Devon's affections.
They both have one more chance
to become her sexy beast
before everyone's real faces are revealed.
First to try and tempt our tigress is Sam.
I live in the moment.
I think I'm a pretty great guy.
I'm just gonna be myself with a mask on.
Hold tight, everyone.
We're about to witness Sam
being himself with a mask on
while sightseeing in London.
[Sam] This is a great area.
[Devon] Trafalgar Square is one of
my favorite places in London.
[Sam] It's fantastic.
[Sam] Who's at the top?
I was gonna say Christopher Columbus,
but that doesn't seem accurate.
- Yeah, 'cause he wasn't British.
- Is his name Trafalgar?
- That's too straightforward.
- Too logical?
You can't have a plaza
named after you and a column.
[Devon] A square.
[Sam] This isn't square.
It's like a semicircle.
Sam's a really smart,
intelligent, funny guy.
We get along well,
there's definitely a connection.
And what better way to build
on that connection
than a private bus tour with guide Rob?
Seen here wearing
the official hat of England.
Take a look over to your right-hand side
to see Nelson's column,
dedicated to Lord Nelson,
one of this country's
- Nelson!
- [Rob continues]
[Rob] At the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805
- Trafalgar Square.
- There it is. We are learning things.
I learned something. That's why I came.
More than dating,
it's about learning history facts.
Above the entrance of Banqueting House,
you'll see a black bust of King Charles I.
- Lovely bust.
- [Rob continues]
- Stunning bust.
- I love a good bust.
I love a good bust.
Between London and Sam, it's a toss-up.
London's one of my favorite cities,
but Sam was pretty impressive as well.
This worked out great.
I feel like we're very similarly
minded about things.
I think we get along well.
There's good chemistry there.
Uh, we'll see what happens.
In a bid to really wow Devon,
Sam takes control of the mic to deliver
his own totally accurate London tour.
We're coming across a body of water.
This is the Thames River.
- Nice.
- It was founded in, um
Great. [laughing]
I said the River Thames was founded
in 1492, and I'm sticking by that.
Do you know I used to be a tour guide?
- Really?
- I did.
- You should take over.
- Hand me the mic.
- [brightly] Welcome to Devon's tour
- Oh, that's such a good voice.
To our left, we have the London Eye,
which is a Ferris wheel.
Ferris wheels were invented in
Chicago, Illinois, United States,
for the World's Fair by Mr. Ferris.
Oh, wow.
- Pretty good right?
- That is pretty good.
Being a tour guide is not my typical
date, but I had a good time. [laughing]
Hello, London!
Devon and I get along really well.
I think we work very well together.
There might be a chance for romance
if she plays her cards right.
- Twist and pull, there you go.
- Oh.
- Uh-oh. I'm not very good at this.
- You're not very good at this.
This is the foamiest pour
I've seen since college.
Let's just hope that's not
because he peed in there, too.
- Ah.
- Today was amazing.
- Appreciated all the historical facts.
- Oh, I love historical facts.
- The Nelson stuff was A-plus.
- [laughing] Yeah.
- Yeah, all in all, I had a good time.
- Yeah, me too.
I think she's a great person,
and I'm feeling pretty good
about my chances.
It's gonna be difficult
to pick between Sam and Nigel,
but Sam was very impressive today.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
It looks like the tiger has been
won over by the ogre.
So, the warthog has some
serious wooing to be doing.
I'm just gon' be myself, and either
it's gonna work for me or it's not.
I definitely feel like
I got a good chance,
'cause I'm ready like Teddy. Let's get it.
And Nigel has the perfect opportunity
to cook up some romance with Devon.
A private apple tart-making class with top
celebrity chef, Jean-Christophe Novelli.
- Wow.
- [French accent] Oh la la!
I'm Jean-Christophe. I'm about to
teach you to make a tarte tatin.
And it's a recipe proven to ignite
the flames of passion.
My wife and I, when I first ever met her,
I made her a tarte tatin.
This was probably the reason of
the success between us,
for I believe we can repeat
this with you two.
- Now, if there's anything you do not like
- [laughing]
Now would probably be the time
to tell you that I hate apples.
- [quietly] Okay.
- [Nigel laughing]
- Are you serious?
- [laughing]
Biting into an apple is the most stressful
thing that you can ask me to do.
I respect that, 'cause I hate bananas.
I think they taste like spit.
Good to know.
Let's start cooking.
Butter.
A little bit of cinnamon. Then sugar.
- So, can you cook?
- I like to bake.
That's dope. I try to make a cake,
I'll burn this house down.
- [Devon] See how this goes then!
- [laughing]
Now, the apples.
[sing-song] La-la-la!
It's the sound and texture.
- You mean this?
- [crunching]
Yes.
A few finishing touches
from Jean-Christophe.
A nice dollop of ice cream.
Et voila.
The best looking tarte tatin
you will ever see.
- Amazing.
- Bon appétit.
Over to the beasts to make what will
likely be the worst one you'll ever see.
It's the elegance that makes it better.
I got the top of this finger cut off
in a door, and so it sticks out normally.
Word.
And time for Nigel
to try and charm the tiger
while simultaneously torturing her.
[Nigel] I knew that Devon wasn't
a fan of the sound.
So, I stepped in and cut it up for her
just to be a nice guy,
'cause that's just how I am.
I'mma actually sing
while I cut this apple,
I don't want you to hear the noise.
Devon and Nigel making tarts together ♪
Apples look cool
But strawberries are better ♪
I don't know what's worse,
your singing or the sound of the apple.
[laughing]
I very much appreciate him stepping in
and taking over the apples.
One for you, one for me.
I couldn't have done it myself.
Once we put this in the oven,
it's gon' change the game.
My fear of apples kinda dissipates
once you've baked them, so I'm excited.
Excellent. This whole situation is
encouraging so much more
than it was at the beginning.
I can see you connecting.
Nigel was fun company, and I had a good
time regardless of the apple thing.
Give a bit of your, um, je ne sais quoi.
- Shake it up.
- Okay, got it.
Shake it up.
I had a great experience so far.
Teamwork makes the dream work, you know?
Well, let's see if it makes
the apple tart work too.
We did a thing.
I told you it was gonna look good.
Hm.
Looks like a microwaved Frisbee.
Maybe it'll taste good
You look at me, I'mma look at you
- I have to eat in the mirror.
- Tell me if it's going in.
[Nigel] I think it's going in.
if they can get it
in their mouths, that is.
Nigel definitely impressed me more today.
I had a good time with him.
That boy's good.
That's really good.
With me and Devon,
I'm pretty optimistic, to be honest.
- That's really good.
- We did a good job.
If I was Devon,
I would first
Would want to enjoy eating apples,
and, most probably,
I would love to see Nigel again.
- [laughing]
- I am still undecided in a decision.
It's not easy. They're both really
smart and funny guys,
so we'll see.
And we'll see right now
as we head back to the manor,
where Devon must choose her sexy beast.
Will she pop Sam's cork?
- [cork pops]
- There you go.
Or will see heed Nigel's sweet hog call?
Devon and Nigel making tarts together ♪
Hi, guys. Great to see you both again.
I'm really happy that we were
able to spend more time together,
get to know each other.
I had a really great time
with both of you.
Sam, wonderful to see that
we had more in common
and hear all the things
we like to do that are similar.
You are horrible at pouring champagne,
but we can get over that.
Nigel, I was pleasantly
surprised by our date.
I got to know you better and
I appreciate the conversations we had.
Overall, it was a really tough decision,
but I can only pick one person.
And my sexy beast is
[tense music playing]
Sam.
- Yes!
- Okay.
Champagne for Sam.
Although someone else should pour it.
Congratulations, my guy.
You're the best ogre I know.
It was definitely a difficult decision.
After the speed dates,
Sam was the clear winner
but after the second dates,
Nigel really impressed me
and it was much tougher
to decide than I thought.
Devon was definitely cool.
But we're two different types of people,
and I honestly think that
we just never clicked.
We probably never were gonna click.
I felt like we were very much,
like, on the same wave level,
and I felt like I was gonna win.
I think she will definitely like
the face behind the mask.
Of course I hope Sam is attractive,
but I picked him
based off of his personality.
So, if he's not my physical type,
then it's not the be-all end-all.
Well, let's see if he is her type
as all the masks come off,
starting with our furry femme fatale.
This is the real Devon.
Well, hello tiger.
She looked hot with the beard,
but looks even better without it.
Who'd have thought?
Before we meet Devon's sexy beast, Sam,
it's time to get rid of the whole hog
and reveal the real Nigel.
Well, pull my pork.
That's one hot ex-pig.
Will Devon regret her decision
when she sees Nigel for
the very first time
in the manor's twinkling Tunnel of Love?
- Is that you in the flesh?
- It's me. I am not a tiger.
- Surprise.
- Definitely not a tiger.
[laughing]
Nigel He's certainly very handsome.
But it's really about
the personalities and chemistry.
- Love the hair.
- You too.
The purple's amazing.
Devon was definitely as pretty as
I thought she was gonna be.
At the end of the day, we just didn't
have the same personality types.
It was nice to get to know you.
- Hopefully, we can be friends in future.
- Absolutely. I would love that.
- That'd be cool.
- Yeah.
- Catch you later.
- Yes, definitely.
Well, you can't be for everybody.
Still plenty of fish in the sea
waiting for me.
You and Sam have fun.
- Thank you.
- I'll catch you on the flip.
Now for the big one.
What does Devon's secret
soup-seasoning ogre really look like?
And will there still be an attraction
when they meet face-to-face
for the very first time?
[triumphant music playing]
[Sam] Wow.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Well, Sam-a-lam-a-ding-dong.
That is one ogle-worthy ogre.
- Nice to meet you.
- You do not look how I thought!
You don't look what I thought
you looked like at all! [laughing]
- You look great.
- You look awesome.
Thank you. The curly hair
caught me off guard.
- Oh, yeah. Thank you.
- It's good. I like it.
I'm very happy with my decision.
- Great to meet you without the mask.
- It's better this way.
I thought Devon was very beautiful.
I was surprised.
She didn't look at all like I thought.
- So, yeah. What happens next?
- What happens now?
- Hey, I'd be happy to get your number.
- Okay. Sounds good.
I'm really excited to see where this goes.
I'm open for it.
Based off the experiences and chemistry,
I think we'll see each other again.
- All right. Let's go.
- [laughing]
If that doesn't say soul mate,
I don't know what does.
I think I found the winner.
- What a load of shit.
- He's missing out on something good.
- He's gonna regret it.
- She just might be the one.
[theme music playing]