Slings and Arrows s02e03 Episode Script

Oliver: A king is murdered, Children are slaughtered, Horses go mad.
That's a sure sign of evil - horses going mad.
Okay, look.
I'm not saying that evil isn't present in the play, What I'm asking is, are the events of the play Driven by evil, Or is it that the characters themselves Are just simply evil from the get go? Yes.
Which?! The scotsman is evil.
Both he and banquo encounter the witches, Both their futures are foretold, But only the scotsman goes on a killing spree.
The scotsman? Oh, do you mean macbeth? Geoffrey, please! What? Don't say his name aloud.
Who? Macbeth? You're just asking for trouble! Well we are rehearsing a play called "macbeth".
It's going to be a little bit awkward If we can't say the title character's name.
This isn't actually rehearsal.
This is a meeting after rehearsal.
Oh I'm so sorry, oliver, I forgot - You believe in the curse.
And you don't? No.
The only thing cursed about this play Is that it is extraordinarily difficult to stage effectively.
So you think you're above This kind of superstitious prattle.
As a matter of fact, I do, yes.
You're talking to a ghost! Wake up and smell the coffin! Nadine: Geoffrey, darling? Who is it? Nadine perola.
She's directing romeo and juliet.
Nadine: There you are! Ah nadine! Welcome back! Nadine: They told me you were burning the midnight oil - Such a colourful expression.
I just arrived.
I was in berlin, you know.
Darren nichols was there.
(disgusted sigh) such a tiresome man.
Oh! The thrust! I heard you were building one.
It's about time, I say.
We are slaves to the proscenium here at new burbage.
It's wonderful! It brings everything to the people, And it is specifically for macbeth? Oh I said it.
No! Is it bad luck? Have I cursed my play? Should I spin and swear? Yes! One, two Three! Oh shit! (sickening crunch) The air is positively thick with irony.
Ô call me superstitious ô Ô or cowardly or weak ô Ô but I'll never play a character ô Ô whose name one dare not speak ô (crowd laughs) Ô I'll play hamlet in doublet and hose ô Ô or either of the dromeos ô Ô but sorry, I won't play mackers ô Ô I'll play richard the third in a hump and a wig ô Ô or henry the eighth that selfish pig ô Ô but sorry, I don't do mackers ô Ô every soul that plays this role ô Ô risks injury or death ô Ô I'd rather sweep the bloody stage ô Ô than ever do mac - you know who ô Ô so gimme king lear, ô Ô cleopatra, ô Ô romeo and juliet, it doesn't mattra ô Ô I'll play them all for free ô Ô but I'd be crackers to take on mackers ô Ô you see I'm skittish about the scottish tragedy ô Ô och aye! Ô (enthusiastic applause) Ellen: So then what happened? Well, judging from the cracking sound, I would say the prognosis is not good.
How weird.
She was in a neck brace when they wheeled her away.
She was still talking though.
It would take more than a broken neck to shut her up.
So is that why you were so late last night? Geoffrey: Yeah, the paramedics kind of interrupted the flow.
Ellen: What time did you come to bed? 4:00, I think.
You should pace yourself.
Wow.
What is this? Ellen: Huevos rancheros.
Mexican.
I found the recipe in the weekend paper.
It's good.
You don't like it? It's fantastic! It is the breakfast experience of a lifetime! I'm over the moon! It's four stars! It's all right, you don't have to pretend.
You know, this is way too much pressure at this hour.
I really should go anyway.
So soon? Oh my god, my tongue's on fire! Ellen: Sorry.
Why do you have to go so early? Well, I got to go through the play With oliver's notes.
You know, walk through it with him.
I mean, with his notes, you know.
You mean he doesn't just appear And tell you what to do? (laughs heartily) Geoffrey: God no! Although I wish he would.
It would actually be much easier.
What are you doing today? I'm learning lines, And then I'm going to meet up with henry And the rest of the cast at the bar, You know, bond.
Ah, I'll see you at the bar.
God! Richard: Well is her neck broken? Anna: I don't know! Well, anna, I need to know if we need a replacement! Anna: I'm not a doctor! I don't know! Anna, calm down.
I'm sorry.
It's been a rough morning.
I hate the interns.
Richard: All right.
Just let me know as soon as the hospital calls.
Anna: Okay.
And any calls from frog hammer? Anna: No, and the email's down.
I've been on the phone all morning with tech support.
I hate tech people.
Richard: Shit! This is unbelievable! We're supposed to launch the campaign tomorrow! This is insane! No faxes? Let me check with margaret, she might know something.
Margaret, do you know anything about a (groans) What are you doing? Scott: This thing came out of the wall And we're putting the files back in order.
Don't get mad.
Margaret, Did any faxes come through yesterday? Yeah.
Okay, I think I said this before: The faxes need to be delivered as soon as they come in.
Okay.
You want me to do that now? Yes please.
(snorts) (clears throat) This fax came in yesterday.
Are you two stoned? No! (whispers) no, no.
(sighs) Scott and margaret: (snort with laughter) Richard Anna, I am driving with a cell phone! Don't put me on hold! I'm sorry.
We did get a fax from frog hammer.
Richard: Well read it to me! Anna: (reading) "dear richard, Just a little note to say everything is going very well.
We're all dying to know What you think of the billboards.
Call me when you can.
Peace and love, sanjay.
" What billboards? I don't know.
At least they're doing something! I'll be in soon, okay? Geoffrey: Okay Tell me about the witches.
Was it not clear in my notes? Humour me.
You can't talk about the witches Without talking about the setting.
Right.
Let's talk about that.
(lights click off) Oliver: It's a landscape ravaged by war.
The witches are anonymous figures Crawling amongst the rubble, Sexless, animalistic.
They are part of the landscape.
(creepy voices) Geoffrey: What are they wearing? Ball gowns.
What do you think? Rags, Their faces smeared with filth.
Witch: Macbeth? Geoffrey: They're like refugees.
Geoffrey: They can appear at any time, Darting out of the rubble like rats.
That's good.
No, it's brilliant.
What's next? Okay, which war? Oh any war, war in general.
War with a capital "whu".
Modern dress? You saw the sketches.
Well I can't tell.
Everyone you draw looks like a drag queen.
Modern, for the most part! Rifles are okay, But they could have sabres as well.
Geoffrey: So it could be kabul, could be sarajevo.
Oliver: Could be.
Geoffrey: War is war.
Soldiers are soldiers.
Ambition is ambition.
Ah, the penny drops.
Geoffrey: Yes, sanjay? What?! How many sanjays do you have working there? Yes, please, check the spa.
Nadine's husband just called from the hospital.
Yes? She finally had her mri.
Yes? She has hairline fractures in two vertebrae in her neck And she has some numbness in her fingers, Which is not a good sign.
Thank god! Yes, great, how long? Thank you! You got that? They found sanjay.
He's in a helicopter for some reason.
So nadine's neck is broken, is that what you're saying? Yes! (sighs) We'll have to find a replacement.
Yes! And her neck is broken, Which is much worse than having to find a replacement director! Yes, yes of course! I'm not being insensitive, anna.
I'm just thinking ahead, okay? Let's send her some flowers, all right? Um, a basket.
Big.
And let's pray she doesn't sue.
Of course, Because that would be truly horrible.
What? I'm not heartless! I'm just I'm detail oriented.
Oh shit! Shit! Did you scald yourself? No, I'm okay.
Shit.
It's a new shirt.
Well you should take it off And give it to jean in wardrobe.
Here, you can uh, wear my sweater.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
I'm uh jerry, by the way.
I play chorus and the prince, And young siward and mackers.
A little old, I know.
(laughs) Um, you done yet? Yes.
(chuckle) Thank's for the sweater.
Well it looks better on you.
But you should keep it.
My wife says it makes me look like a dork.
(laughs) I'm sarah.
I'm playing juliet.
Yes, I know.
Have you met your romeo? No.
That's him over there in the scarf.
Sarah: What's he like? Jerry: Patrick? Oh he's a great guy.
He's um He's never played romeo before.
I've never played juliet.
It'll be an adventure.
Yes.
Yes it will.
Anna: Excuse me.
Hello everyone, hello.
And welcome to the first day of rehearsals For william shakespeare's romeo and juliet.
(people clap) Great.
I have terrible news.
Well we hope it's just bad news and not terrible news, But anyway Nadine perola has broken her neck.
That means that today's rehearsal is cancelled, Obviously and tragically.
So uh, please now disperse, And maria will contact you As soon as we know what the hell is going on.
Maria, all right? Maria: So everyone is released.
She fell off the stage last night.
Yup.
Landed on her neck.
Yup.
Sarah: Patrick! Hi, I'm sarah.
My juliet.
It's good to finally meet you.
It's too bad we couldn't get started today.
Freaky about nadine, huh? Yeah.
Breaking your neck on the first day of rehearsal Is like totally weird.
It doesn't bode well.
Yeah.
So maybe we should get together, You know, chat about the play.
Yeah.
Are you free now? Uh no, actually I'm not.
I promised stevie that I'd uh, Hang out at his place for a bit.
Um, tonight though, at the bar? Okay.
Okay.
Bye, my juliet.
Bye.
(man giggles) Sarah: Okay.
Now Duncan.
Geoffrey: He looks like he's from another planet.
Oliver: Well he is from another world, isn't he? He ruled by divine right.
He was placed there by god.
Geoffrey: So it's not just murder if you kill a king, It's an attempt to deify yourself? That's good.
Oliver: It's better than good.
Show a little enthusiasm.
I've worked on this for years.
All right, it's very, very good.
Now (inhales deeply) macbeth.
Ah.
Macbeth is a general.
Not just a brute, but a great warrior.
A man who kills in service of the king.
Bring him on.
(military drums beat) Oliver: There he is.
An imposing figure.
One might say striking.
Well, I suppose one might say striking.
Oliver: A leader of men.
Very successful, very well respected, A bit too full of himself.
You could learn something from a man like this, geoffrey.
Macbeth ended up with his head on a pole.
Oh you've read the play.
That's very reassuring.
So what is it that turns a man into a monster? Well She had something to do with it.
How's that going anyway? What? Oh, fine.
Well, she hates me.
I'm spending too much time with you.
Jealous? Geoffrey: No, frightened.
That I've gone off the deep end.
Why did you pick henry? Why do you ask? Just curious.
Well, did you see his hamlet? No.
It was very good.
Hmm.
Patrick: Brian kinney's an asshole! (chortles) I mean they make him like he's honest, right? They make him like he's just saying what's on his mind, But basically he's an asshole.
Who's your favourite character on "queer as folk"? (whispers) emmett.
Emmett, of course.
(laughter) She's an emmett! (laughs) I knew it! I could tell.
You're either an emmett or brian.
(laughs) Thank you.
Henry: I thought the pope was a pretty good sport about it, He absolved me right on the spot.
But there was this, This henchman Who uh, gave me a pretty good talking to Right there under the dome in st.
Peter's.
Hey geoffrey, how's the battle? Oh you know, Things are starting to come into focus.
Well I'm glad one of us can see straight.
(laughter) Uh, thanks for indulging me the other day.
With what? The dagger speech.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
I'm a creature of habit, you know.
I apologize.
I guess that's uh, one of things that happens When you've played something three times.
You have a tendancy to want to repeat.
I just want to, I want to get past that.
Right.
Henry: You know, trust the process and all that.
Right.
Are you okay, geoffrey? Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm just uh I'm a little off today.
Henry: You know what you need? Bitters.
Oh yeah.
They work wonders for the constitution.
Barkeep! Brian? Brian cabot? Brian? What are doing over there lurking in the shadows? Come on, you're not a ghost yet.
Come and join us.
Ellen: Do you know brian? Well who doesn't know brian? He was my falstaff, Or rather I was his prince hal.
(hearty embrace) Finally found room on your plate For the legitimate theatre, eh henry? Henry: (laughs) Sit down, sit down.
So what do they have you playing this year, huh? Nothing for me this year, actually.
What do you mean nothing for you? Well I could use a year off.
God knows I need the rest.
Henry: They just cut you loose? Now that's a, that's a crime.
What about loyalty or respect? Geoffrey, what can you do about this? (clears his throat) Well I uh, (clears his throat) Uh, you know, I got to- I have to be going.
Do you still have a house here? Brian: Of course.
It's where I live.
I'm just going to finish my drink.
No, no, no, you can stay.
I'm going to go back to the theatre.
Well when are you coming home? Well not too late.
I just- I've got a little more work, you know, to do.
Say "hi" for me.
Okay, I don't know- what do you mean by that - Say "hi"? I'm working alone, ellen.
Actually it was a joke.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
Good night.
Uh, henry.
Brian.
See you in the morning, geoff.
Well things have changed around here, haven't they? Yes, they have.
I didn't hear you come in last night.
Oh I didn't want to wake you.
Ellen: You look worn out.
I am.
You should see a doctor.
Why? I don't need to see a doctor.
I'm happy, I'm excited.
I don't want that treated.
Okay.
Okay.
(coffee sloshes into cup) It's good, you know.
What? Geoffrey: Oliver's concept for the production.
It's good.
It's not his usual shit.
So when you're working on the play, Do you hear him in your head like a memory? Or You don't actually see him, do you? I work on the play like a normal person.
So you don't actually work with oliver? What are you talking about? I see you muttering in rehearsal.
All right, yes, I mutter.
Occasionally I mutter at myself.
Do you have to be a lunatic in order to mutter? Well lunatics do mutter, But then equally, So do perfectly sane people mutter.
Right? Okay, sorry.
But you did see him at the kids play.
Or maybe I didn't.
Maybe he was just uh It was something I ate.
Maybe he was just a piece of undigested beef.
Okay.
(laughs) sorry.
Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry.
(ellen shrieks) It's from revenue canada.
What does this mean? It means you're being audited.
What does that mean? Means it's time for me to go.
See you at rehearsal.
Jesus christ on a bike.
Okay, so, This is the main message system.
So any wayward business messages you get, You fill out a slip, keep a duplicate, And make sure it gets to the person.
Okay, so, You just punch this in And listen.
Message 1: Hello, this is marjorie watson calling from chatham, ontario.
I've been a subscriber for 25 years, And I just want to say, I think the new ad campaign is shameful, Just shameful.
(click) Okay, uh well, she left her name So we can find her number in the subscriber base And call her back.
Message 2: This is jeremy bentham calling from detroit, michigan.
I've never seen a more idiotic, offensive ad campaign in my- (click) (snorts) So that's another in the negative column.
Message 3: You morons, what the fuck are you doing? Your ad- (click) Message 4: Never have I been so offended.
I mean- Message 5: Small minded, arrogant- Message 6: Even the nazi's have the- Anna: Okay, so, well I have a business meeting to get to.
I'll leave you to do the rest.
Geoffrey: Well ladies and gentlemen, here we are, Barely having begun an exciting new season When the gods have made their presence known.
As artistic director it is my duty to inform you That nadine perola will be unable to direct Romeo and juliet.
Director 1: Why? She fell off the stage.
Anna: She broke her neck.
It's a hairline fracture, Nothing worthy of litigation.
Anyway I was wondering if one of you might take it on? I can't, obviously.
I have macbeth- Director 2: Sorry, geoffrey, pirates is real handful.
Director 1: Electra is driving me insane.
Director 2: Anyway, It's not a play you can just "direct".
Richard: Um (in spanish) (asks spanish director if he can direct "romeo and juliet") Por favore? Oh god.
Geoffrey: All right, well, who else have we got? Anna? Uh, well it's hard on such short notice, But peter blakely is available, But he's in dublin.
Um, solange labossier is finished with canstage In two weeks, And Darren nichols is free.
Ha! No! Richard: Geoffrey No, richard.
Haven't we learned our lesson? Yes, but this is a serious situation.
The man hates the theatre, remember? Well, apparently he doesn't anymore.
He went to germany and he was reborn.
Now he loves the theatre, apparently.
Richard: Yes, and his productions have always done Very well for us.
People are drawn to his work.
Geoffrey: Well yes, I admit, I too find car wrecks strangely fascinating, But that doesn't mean we should stage one.
Can we just put him at the bottom of the list? He was reborn in germany.
Think about that.
At the very bottom? (sighs) All right.
At the very, very bottom.
Richard: Thank you.
Okay, good luck everybody.
I'm off to yell at frog hammer.
Witch 1: When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain? Witch 2: When the hurlyburly's done, When the battle's lost and won.
Again from the top! And tanya, stop writhing.
This isn't cirque du soleil.
(hisses at him) Okay, that's great.
Let's go from the entrance, And tanya this time maybe don't force the physicality.
Just let it come.
Ellen: (whispering) so I called them And they said I have to bring in all my receipts.
Three years worth.
(whispering) crikey! (whispering) claim everything, dear, that's what we do.
Well acting is your trade.
Your tools are your mind and your body.
Claim everything! Make-up, skin cream, shampoo And every book that you read, And every record you play.
We as actors have to be In touch with the zeitgeist.
Oh here she goes.
Frank: It's true, cyril.
Cyril: The last album you bought was frank sinatra's duets.
Well that's because there were people on it I'd never heard sing before.
Terrible album.
Ellen: This is disastrous! What can they do to me? The worst case scenario.
Prison.
(loud) oh shit! Geoffrey: Excuse me, We're rehearsing here.
Could you possibly shut the fuck up? Sorry.
Sorry everyone.
I'm being audited! (collective sympathetic groan) Sanjay: Richard! How are you? Sanjay, we need to talk.
Of course.
Follow me.
(low hum of activity) This is our main work space.
I like to think of it as a brothel of the mind.
I'm so glad you're seeing this.
You see, we constantly reconfigure the teams.
People never have the same partner For more than a few days.
We find that this random coupling Produces the best and sharpest ideas.
(music starts) (speaks louder) are you familiar with the role of genetic mutation In the evolution of the human genome? Yes.
Well it's the same principle.
Come on! Let's see if we can find out Where the conference room is today.
You were surprised? Yes, I was surprised.
Firstly, because these things Are what they are, And secondly, Because I thought, as a client, You might tell me when these things are happening So that I can tell you not to do them! Richard, let me explain.
Our research is showing that people feel the same way About attending your theatre As they do about going to the library.
Good news for libraries; terrible news for you.
Fine! But old people dying? What is that supposed to communicate? That we know how they feel! It's a connection! It's brilliant! You know who thought this up? An "idea blast" team composed of a puppeteer, A professional figure skater and a nine year old child! Oh good! You don't like it.
It's not just me.
It's our customers.
They think we have gone crazy! Yes! And when they think we are all crazy That is the moment when we get to decide The new message.
There'll be hostility, lots of hostility, "any change is resisted Because bureaucrats have a vested interest In the chaos in which they exist.
" Richard nixon said that.
We will know this is working When the very people who are the most invested In the old festival, People like you, Are burning with fury! Come on, richard, Show me fury! Oh just stop this sh- Ah! Show me fury, richard! (shouts) (shouts) (shout back and forth) (garbled shout) You see? It's working.
Geoffrey: Okay, now, on the day The banquet table will be covered with white cloth, And the witches will be hidden underneath the table For the duration of the entire scene.
Maria: How will they be lit exactly? Geoffrey: Uh well, um They won't be at first The lanterns, geoffrey, The lanterns.
Oh yeah, The witches will carry their own lighting.
I love that.
Geoffrey: Me too, because when we first meet them The theatre will be dark, Except for the light from these lanterns Slashing through the air.
Oh tell them about the table! Oh yeah! Okay, now, At the end of the banquet scene all of the guests will leave.
Macbeth will be alone, We'll bring down the lights.
Then the witches will turn on their lanterns, Illuminating the table from below, And then suddenly, They will throw over the table and burst forth! Dishes smashing, cutlery flying Spectacular! That's spectacular, geoffrey.
Thank you.
It's oliver's idea.
Okay! Let's walk through it! Where the hell's jerry? I don't know.
I've called him three times.
Well he's henry's understudy.
He should be here.
(earsplitting shriek) Oh my god! My wife needed the car.
We had a fight.
Holy shit.
No, no, I rode my bike.
I fell off.
I'm fine.
Oliver: That's a great look for banquo's ghost.
I should make a quick sketch.
Are you sure you're all right? I'm really sure.
Geoffrey: Okay, well Let's take fifteen and uh Sew up jerry's head.
Thanks, geoffrey, I'll be right back.
(techno music) (ad people giggle) (laughter) Man: Boring.
(laughter) (ad people applaud) Sanjay: So richard, what do you think? You can't be serious.
We're gonna trash our own productions? Yes! "if you want to make beautiful music, You've got to play the black notes And the white notes together.
" Richard nixon.
No, we can't! We can't! I'm sorry.
No.
I knew it! I understand.
This is very new territory for you.
Thank you, everybody.
Thanks.
That's great.
I'm sorry.
I know they worked hard, it's just that- Richard, forget about it.
No more business for now.
Can you have dinner? I was going to head back.
No, stay.
The company keeps a suite, a very nice one too.
You go there, freshen up, Relax for an hour, And I'll come and get you for dinner.
All right? Go ahead, relax.
Henry: This is more strange than such a murther is! Ellen: My worthy lord! Your noble friends do lack you.
I do forget.
Ah do not muse at me my worthy friends.
I have a strange infirmity, Which is nothing to those that know me.
Come- Thank you, everybody, That's 5:00! Emily! Sorry.
Never, never do that! You wait until the scene is over! Sorry.
Sorry.
(bursts into tears) I'm so sorry, henry.
It's all right, emily, Don't give it another thought.
(uncontrollable sobs) Maria: Okay, that's it everyone.
Please check your costume fitting times before you go.
Well, geoffrey, Coming for a beer? No, you are not.
We have the entire third act to go over.
Oh, uh, No.
Thanks.
Ah, ellen? How about you? Drink? Do you mind, geoff? Oh god, no, Go ahead, enjoy yourselves.
Good work everybody! You too, geoffrey! It's going well! Geoffrey.
Come for a drink, please? Take a break.
I'll try.
Henry: He really is quite brilliant, geoffrey.
My god, what a mind.
He does tend to neglect The mundane little details though, Don't you think? Like what? Oh, just sightlines, audibility.
Just a lack of experience with these big spaces, That's all.
That thrust is going to be a killer.
We're going to have to work really hard To keep the audience in the story.
Your sleepwalking scene, for example.
Yes? Well, he can't possibly light you where he has you.
Oh yes, I see.
Make sure you walk right downstage.
You are sleepwalking after all.
You can go wherever you like.
(chuckles) I want to ask you a question.
Now you don't have to answer me if you don't want to.
Of course.
What was his hamlet like? Incandescent.
Ah.
What I can remember of it.
He only played it for three performances.
Ah.
Three performances.
Yes, well, it's difficult to sustain That level of intensity.
And in the end that's the trick really, Isn't it? How much to give without going over the edge.
You learn that or you get out.
Or go mad.
Chef: (speaks in japanese) Sanjay: (responds in japanese) Please forgive my staff, richard.
You must never let yourself Get pushed into making a foolish decision.
Oh, that was a test.
No, I truly believe the ads will be effective.
But I know you feel very deeply That they were offensive.
They are offensive! I'm sorry, those reviews hurt enough the first time around! Now you want to blow them up into billboards? Put them in newspapers? I'm taking the piss, richard, In a very smart way.
No! It's too much! I don't see it helping.
You must trust me on this, richard.
And if you can't, I'm afraid we'll have to resign the account, But with great regret.
I like you, richard.
You'd resign? May I speak honestly with you? Sure.
The problem you're having right now Is you have no ambition.
What's your goal, richard? I want the festival to be profitable.
And it's that pettiness that's exhausting you.
I'm a very healthy man, spiritually.
Because I set myself the hardest goals That I can realistically achieve.
Have you got a dream, richard? A secret dream? Not really, no.
Oh come on, what makes you happy? What makes your heart glow? I love musical theatre.
I mean, in high school I used to uh, I used to sing a little bit.
Ah, so one day you will be A great musical theatre performer.
Sanjay, it doesn't work that way.
It's not that easy.
Come on, you've got to be realistic.
Next year I'm going into space.
Space? Outer space? I booked a 3 month cosmonaut training program In baikul.
And then it's off To the international space station.
I've got a slot reserved on a russian re-supply launch Set for the spring.
Holy shit.
I want to help you, richard.
"when a man does not know what harbor he is making for, No wind is the right wind.
" Nixon? Seneca.
Eat your supper.
Geoffrey: No! We are taking about fate! About the nature of fate! Well, all right, Then how does banquo fit in to that? A-ha, okay, If that's true, then macbeth- Oh just- jesus! Let me finish! Then macbeth has free will, right? Oh oliver, for god's sakes, You just keep contradicting yourself! You're driving me nuts! Darren: I'm back in new burbage.
New burbage.
Yes, they begged me to come back.
No, he's still here.
(pretentious chuckle) What?! Romeo and juliet.
I know! (in german) life's fucking nuts, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
What the flying fuck are you doing? I know, I know how it looks.
But it's a two-pronged attack.
No, no, no.
I don't think you know how it looks.
It looks like we're calling our subscribers A bunch of corpses.
They think we've gone crazy! Yes.
And once they think we've gone crazy, We can do anything we want.
What? Nixon said: "all change is resisted Because bureaucrats have a vested interest In the chaos in which they exist.
" What the hell kind of bullshit is that? I'm just trying to say trust me.
Mr.
Archer: Trust you?! You want people to trust you, Don't quote nixon, you fucking idiot! With respect, sir- Look You put me on this board To give you some sound business advice.
Am I right? Mmm hmm.
Mr.
Archer: Well my sound business advice to you, right now, Is that this is a really shitty fucking ad! People are pissed off, richard.
Subscribers are calling board members at their homes At all hours! I know.
Mr.
Archer: Jesus christ, I just spent two hours On the phone with my mother Trying to convince her that this is not her picture In a fucking ad! I'm sorry.
Christ! What's the second prong of the attack? New burbage written out in shit? (nervous chuckle) Don't be silly.
Um, we're reprinting our worst reviews And blowing them up on giant billboards.
Is that some kind of a fucking joke? In a sense it is.
Think of it this way: "if you want to make beautiful music, You gotta play the black and the white notes together.
" And who said that? (softly) nixon.
Who? Nixon.
I haven't done anything for breakfast.
Oh, that's fine.
And you'll have to make more coffee.
Oh, I'll get some at work.
Ellen: How'd it go last night? Mmm.
Good, good.
Good, good, good, good.
I'm making real progress.
I'm very excited about getting into the theatre today.
So exactly what do you do all alone In the big dark theatre at night? What do I do? I work.
Alone? What are you getting at? Are you working with oliver? With oliver? Oliver is dead, ellen.
Were you with him last night? Okay.
You know, you're really- you're starting to sound Just a little bit crazy right now.
I was there last night.
I saw you.
You came to the theatre last night? Yes.
Oh.
All right, he (clears his throat) He dropped by briefly.
Oh god.
Well, it's not like I'm screwing him! He just gives me the odd note.
You know, he's very concerned that I get it right.
He's only been working on the play For like a thousand years, you know.
Jesus.
You know what? I just- I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Uh, you just have to trust me.
Everything is fine.
Fine.
Sorry about breakfast.
I have to look at my lines Since we're having a run through.
Oh that's all right.
I don't care.
You've got me too far upstage in the sleepwalking scene.
What? Me, upstage, sleepwalking scene? Too far.
I like it.
You'll never be able to light me there.
Well, let's just see, shall we? Trust me, ellen, please? Just trust me.
Ah, darren.
Welcome back.
Darren: Geoffrey, I have chosen to meet you in a large room To allow for maneuvering In case you have another one of your episodes.
Well you have nothing to worry about, darren.
Although I do regret not killing you before, I am inclined not to kill you now, Circumstances being what they are.
I accept your apology.
It's not an apology.
And I am prepared to be generous.
I will acknowledge that I bear some slight responsibility For what happened last season.
Are you talking about your production? I'm talking about the sword play.
Perhaps I provoked you unconsciously.
Well, staying in the realm of conscious behaviour Just for a minute, As artistic director I must insist that you stage A reasonable romeo and juliet.
Meaning what? Meaning no flames, no horses, And no flinging flaming horses at the audience.
Save your breath, geoffrey, I'm not the man I once was.
Darren the anarchist is dead.
(speaks in german) I beg your pardon? Have you ever been to germany, geoffrey.
Mercifully no.
You should go.
It would change your life.
I could tell you stories of my six weeks In a schwartzwalt puppet colony That would reduce you to tears.
Suffice it to say I have a new love And it is the theatre, Or more specifically, the idea of theatre.
I'm eager to work.
All that I ask is that you will assure me That you will not interfere again With my rehearsals or my person.
(sighs) You have my word, darren.
Danke.
Very good.
Well, shall we? I'll go this way.
Ellen: I feel so guilty.
I shouldn't be telling you this.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
It was so Eerie.
He was having a debate about the play.
A debate? You mean he was having a conversation? Yes.
With someone.
Who? Well, it was pretty clear he was talking to oliver.
Oliver welles? Geoffrey was having a debate about the play With the ghost of oliver welles? I shouldn't be telling you this.
Oh, come on.
We're friends.
It's this fucking audit.
I mean, I'm so stressed.
I can see that.
You're holding your tension in your shoulders And your neck.
And I don't think you should be Carrying this burden on your own.
So if you feel like unloading or sharing, I'm always here for you.
(exhales) That feels good.
I'm afraid that he's coming across as inhuman.
He is inhuman.
He's a psychopath.
Ah, interesting you say that.
Nahum doesn't like this play Because he says All it does it shows us the actions of a psychopath.
Oliver: So, nahum doesn't have to watch it.
Look, all I'm saying Perhaps we are not painting a full enough picture.
I mean, if people can't see him as a human being, If they can't identify with him on some level, Then the horror has no impact.
Wait, you want people to identify with mac- With mackers? I want people to see his humanity.
Yes.
Now, come on.
People are waiting.
You see, you identify with him Because you're crazy.
Is that it? Crazy people like to watch other crazy people.
Do you find it comforting? Geoffrey: All right, maria, act 1 scene 5, S'il vous plait.
Maria: Act 1 scene 5.
Macbeth and lady macbeth at macbeth's castle.
Okay, henry, I've had a thought.
The witches prophecy has proven true.
You are now the thane of cawdor.
Now you sent this news in the form of a letter To your wife, Which she had just shared with the audience.
And now you arrive home Caked in the blood of battle.
And here is the thought.
I would like to see lady macbeth undress you And wash the blood from your body.
Oliver: Oh god, why? We've been over this.
I think it's very important at this moment in the play That the audience see him as human.
The villains of our lives are not naked.
I'm sorry.
Ellen: It's inappropriate, geoffrey.
Ellen, please.
I think ellen has the right To voice her own opinion.
Oliver: You know this gratuitous moment of nudity Is in direct opposition to my vision of the play.
I'm simply asking- Henry: Okay, it's just not my thing, geoffrey.
Now, I understand this part as well.
I've done it, three times - Successfully, fully clothed throughout.
Oliver: Macbeth is a monster.
Seeing him naked lowers his status.
Do we ever see frankenstein with his dick out? No.
I think it's essential That the audience see macbeth as a fallible human being.
That he had a choice.
Oliver: Do we see dracula flapping about in the raw? Shut up! I don't think this is a Well considered point, And it's certainly not part of any discussions I had with oliver.
Geoffrey: Why am I getting this resistance? I had a thought.
I am the director.
Maybe it's not one of your better days.
What do you mean by that? Well, I am fully aware That you are under a lot of stress And I'm suggesting that perhaps your creative process Has taken its toll.
My creative process? Maria! I'm feeling a terrible migraine coming on, Might we have a few minutes? Maria: Geoffrey? Of course.
Maria: All right, everybody, five minutes.
Oliver: You should do richard the third next year, geoffrey.
A naked hunchback - that'll pack 'em in.
Fuck off! No.
Not you.
I was talking to Myself.
Henry: It was a sorry sight.
Telling his invisible friend to shut up.
Shut up! What did he want? A naked macbeth.
I think it's personal.
Some sort of pissing match is under way.
When? What? When did he want macbeth naked? Act 1 scene 5.
I return to the castle, And lady m.
Strips me and scrubs me down.
It's interesting.
Oh, come on.
Brian: No.
We see macbeth as a man.
A middle aged man, nothing more.
Certainly not a king.
It adds context to the action.
That's interesting.
You're paying for this round, my friend.
(door closes, keys jangle) What are you doing? Waiting for you.
You look like a murderer sitting in there in the dark.
Where were you? Walking.
Alone? You're not jealous of a ghost are you? Yes.
I was walking alone.
Ellen: Till 3:00 in the morning? I went to yong's.
I had something to eat.
What about you? Out drinking with hank again? Ellen: He's a fun guy, henry.
Oh, you mean unlike me.
What's your problem with henry? Why do you keep defending him?! Because he's on my team.
What team? God, geoffrey, Have you forgotten what it's like? Theatre is war.
The actors are the ones on the front lines.
Are you screwing him? I can't believe you would say that.
I can't believe you would ask me that.
Geoffrey: You told him I talk to oliver.
Yes, I did.
Do you blame me? I had to tell someone That you rather spend time with a dead man than with me.
I'm sorry, geoffrey, But I'm just not strong enough.
I thought I was, but I'm not.
Strong enough for what? Strong enough to live with you.
Well, We're both weak in our own way, Aren't we? What are you doing? I'm leaving.
Geoffrey.