Snatch (2017) s02e03 Episode Script

1 I am Lieutenant Carlito Blanco.
I am a bad cop and San Toledo is my pueblo.
(WHISPERING): We've got to get out of here, Lotti.
Our best chance of seeing Mum and Lotti again is by doing exactly what Blanco says.
You're gonna impersonate a Catalan gangster? VIC: The boys are walking into a trap at the airport.
Nobody shoots at my son.
Wait, you know where Mum and Lotti are and you didn't tell me? BILLY: We tracked 'em to a stash house up in the hills.
We're gonna need a lot more guns.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) LOTTI: What is this place? LILY: Oh, blimey, it's freezing in here.
CHARLIE: Some place.
Looks like it's been closed for years.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) BILLY: Somebody find the whisky? LILY: Okay, let's light the fires, put any dry wood in there.
We'll deal with it.
LILY: Let's make a fire.
Come on, Billy, you were a Boy Scout.
(GRUNTS) (SHIVERING) It's a lot colder than I imagined for the south of Spain.
We lost everything.
What are we gonna do now? Was supposed to be our early retirement, this.
We'll be back on our feet soon enough.
Hate 'Em and I will see to that.
Yeah, I'll have a sniff around, see if there's anything of value around here.
Just leave it to me, all right? We're not going back to the way things were.
It doesn't work.
Look at us.
Wh what are you thinking, Al? Yeah.
We can't just sit on our hands.
Yeah, son.
What you got in mind? What can we all put together now? If we all chucked in? I mean, watches, jewelry, everything we brought on the way here.
What we got? None of ya? Okay, here.
I'll go first, then, shall I? That there.
Right? That's me.
(SIGHS) Come on, Hate 'Em.
Cough it up.
What the hell is that? It's an antique tooth extractor, circa Paris, 17th century.
(LAUGHTER) Of course.
Silly question.
ALBERT: Dad? HATE 'EM (CHUCKLING): Jeez! Rainy-day readies, son.
Rainy-day readies.
What do you wanna do, Albert? Well, that's simple, innit? We're going straight.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (SIREN WAILING) MAN: Do we have the stones, the diamonds? Where are you taking the diamonds? (LAUGHTER) CHARLIE: Hate 'Em.
- Hmm.
- Do you Do you mind being number two? What do you mean? Well you've always been Vic's right-hand man.
Although, I mean, that's how it seems from the outside.
Do you ever wanna I don't know, lead? Look, being number two's the best gig there is.
You get to have all the fun with no pressure.
You gotta let them believe that all your good ideas are their good ideas.
Let 'em think that their bollocks is worth listening to, and you laugh at their jokes.
And you get to watch someone's back, like a samurai.
It's honorable, son.
Hmm.
Honorable.
- (VEHICLE APPROACHING) - We're on.
We're on.
Buenos dias, Manny.
I see you've got my bits.
(CLICKING TONGUE) You pay me first this time.
Do what, mate? Dinero.
Mon-ey.
Listen, I've got something better than money.
Que? Que cono es esto? What'd he say? I think he wants to know what they are, Hate 'Em.
Them? Cock exploders.
Cock exploders, son.
Now, don't take more than one every eight hours, and keep yourself hydrated at all times.
Come on, Chaz, we're out of here.
Que cojones! Oye.
Hey! Make it boom! "To Toromenn"? Here we go We might only be five, but we ain't just any five, right, boys? Let's go and get our girls.
(GUN COCKS) - Do you hear anything? - Nothing at all.
Lotti, I think we should break out again.
I'm not waiting here like a sitting duck.
All right, let's go.
(LOCK RATTLES) ALBERT: You sure this is the place? VIC: You think I'd forget the house where my wife's being held prisoner? Looks a bit fishy.
I don't see any girls.
Trust me.
They were all over this place last night.
You think that Cuban-heel-wearing mug is expecting us? There's only one way to find out.
I've been a gambling man I've been a gambling man They shipped me off to another land With a gun in my hand (THUDDING) (GRUNTS) Anything? Nothing.
- CHARLIE: There's nobody here.
- BILLY: There's bullet holes.
Something went down here.
HATE 'EM: Vic You need to come see this.
VIC: They were here.
That son of a bitch locked my Lily in a cage.
So if they were here, whose blood is that? That that could be anyone's blood.
God knows how many people he's had hostage in here.
No, not my Lily.
LILY: I'm not waiting here like a sitting duck.
All right, let's go.
(LOCK RATTLES) LILY: Fuck.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) (GRUNTING) (BOTH SCREAMING) (PANTING) What are you gonna do with that, little girl, huh? - (GRUNTS) - (SCREAMING) Big dreams, baby, yeah, we have big dreams A taste for venom and expensive things (WOMAN MOANING) Big dreams, baby, yeah, we have big dreams And we're gonna make you do bad things (MOANING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (GASPS) Carlito.
Run! (SPEAKING SPANISH) (GRUNTS) Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (MAN YELLS) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN SPANISH) - (GUNSHOT) - Get in the car! (GUNSHOT) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN SPANISH) (ENGINE CRANKING) (GROANS) Right in the fucking balls.
- (GROANS) - (ENGINE REVVING) Get in! Vamos! Vamos! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN SPANISH) So somebody left in a hurry.
Yeah? My money's on the girls.
We're gonna grab Blanco.
I don't give a flying fuck if he's a cop.
I'll put the fat pig in the brazen bull, Vic, and light a fucking match.
- Do you see 'em? - No, they've gone.
They've gone.
- LOTTI: Shit.
- What are you doing? - The car's pulling.
- What? - What? - We're out of petrol.
- You're joking.
Shit.
- (CAR BEEPING) LOTTI: They're coming.
We've gotta go.
Come on.
Mas rapido! - Move it.
- (TIRES SCREECHING) Por aqui.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - WOMAN: Si? - (BLANCO SPEAKING SPANISH) BILLY: How the hell are we gonna find Blanco? We go pig hunting.
First cop we find, we give him to Hate 'Em.
He'll tell us where Blanco is.
I met a girl, evil doll She told me all about her soul She said you can rattle, you can rattle and roll But you better watch out or you could lose it all Sorry, love.
Bar's closed.
- Bar's closed.
- Lieutenant Blanco told me you boys are always open for business.
What does he want? He has decided to give you another opportunity to make things right after the fiasco at the airport.
One of you is coming with me.
- I'll go.
- No, you won't.
You.
ALBERT: No, okay? I'm not doing another job for Blanco.
You have to go, okay? It's gonna buy us time to track down the girls.
Look, if you don't show up, we don't know what he'll do.
You gotta do the job, Al.
Could be worse, mate.
(DOOR OPENS) So, who are you, then? I'm the driver.
Buckle up.
- LILY: Run! Move! - (GASPS) LILY: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Lupe! (PANTING) (SIGHS) Did we lose them? I think so.
Lupe.
- (PANTING) - Need a minute? - I need a drink.
- (CHUCKLES) Tell me about it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) - Shit! - (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) There you go, Vic.
Let's go hunting.
Where's Charlie? He's out the back, having a smoke.
Charlie! Who the hell are you? We are the Catalans.
(ORTEGA SPEAKING SPANISH) (APPLAUSE) Come on.
Wait, isn't that the mayor? It looks like him.
Go, go, go, go, go.
- Lo siento.
- Perdona.
Perdona.
- MAN: Por favor.
- Perdona.
- Lo siento.
- Perdona.
- Esta bien, esta bien.
- MAN: Si, señor.
- Mr.
Mayor Ortega.
- WOMAN: Señor - WOMAN: Señor - Por favor, por favor.
We're tourists and we're in big trouble.
Can you help us? What kind of trouble, señoritas? LILY AND LOTTI: Uh MAN: Mierda.
- (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - (RAPPING IN SPANISH) (BEEPS) You don't look like the rest of the guys on Blanco's payroll.
That's because I'm not on Blanco's payroll.
Who do you work for, then? You ask too many questions.
What can I say, I don't like to work in the dark.
- (GRUNTS) - (TIRES SCREECHING) (BOTH GRUNT) I'm freelance.
So what is this job for Blanco? We just have to run a little obstruction.
Shouldn't be a problem.
Piece of cake, right? What does it mean? It's easy.
It's easy.
Easy.
Si.
As uno, dos, tres.
(ENGINE REVVING) (TIRES SCREECH) Vic, if if you're alive, and I hope to God you are, and believe it or not, Lotti and I are all right.
We escaped and right into the hands of the bloody mayor, as a matter of fact, and, uh Vic, I (SIGHS) Pick up your bloody phone, will you? (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Somebody's very keen to contact you.
I'm a popular guy.
Our friend here seems very upset.
What exactly did you do to him, Hate 'Em? Nothing out of the ordinary, Vic.
Your friend tried to cook me in the belly of a brazen bull.
Right.
Got it.
We have to be extremely careful, Lotti.
To state the obvious, it would be a very bad idea for the mayor to find out who we are.
Thank you for your patience, ladies.
Were you able to reach your friends? Uh, no, there was no answer.
I see.
Well, I'm sure they will turn up.
In the meantime, would you be willing to tell me what has happened to you? Oh.
It is clear that you've both been through somewhat of an ordeal.
As mayor of San Toledo, I'd like to ensure the situation is resolved and your safety guaranteed.
- You know how to use it? - In a pinch.
So what's the cargo? I'm gonna give you a clue.
We are 40 kilometers from the coast of Morocco, and I'm pretty sure it's not Berber rugs.
That's two clues.
So how we gonna play this? When they finish loading the truck, we're taking it.
If you have to shoot, aim straight.
You're not gonna back me up? I told you, I'm the driver.
Ayudame.
Hola.
(GRUNTS) (TRUCK ENGINE STARTS) Now you are going to tell me where our money is.
We really don't know where your money is.
You are lying.
I I usually find it best to tell the truth when sharp knives are involved.
RAUL: Adolfo.
Do you know what these are? Call me an idiot, but they look a lot like red peppers.
(LAUGHS) The rocoto red ghost pepper.
It's such a delicacy in my hometown, but you gotta be careful because the juice And, uh, what's with the paper cut, then? Hmm? - (LAUGHING) - Is that all you've got? You'll have to do better than that.
(LAUGHTER) (GROANS) - (GROANS) - (LAUGHING) Whoa! Shit! (MOANS) - Vic.
- What's the matter, Hate 'Em? - (GROANING) - (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) (HATE 'EM SCREAMING) Gracias.
So you were carjacked just outside of town, then kidnapped by these unknown assailants? Yes, we were, um, blindfolded and thrown in the back of a truck, and, um, we were locked in a cell for two days.
Do you have any idea why you were taken? Did they ask for a ransom? They they never said.
We were terrified.
We managed to get out in the end, get out of the cell, steal one of the cars, and escape.
LOTTI: Luckily we ran into you.
I don't know what would've happened if you weren't here, Mayor Ortega.
What a way to start a holiday.
(LOTTI AND ORTEGA CHUCKLE) I understand.
- (LAUGHS) - (CLEARS THROAT) I'm so sorry for your troubles.
San Toledo is my town, and I love it.
There is a sickness here, a plague of crime.
As a boy, I saw that plague claim many lives, too many.
- That's terrible.
- Hmm.
That's the reason why I became mayor, to rid my home of this cancer.
- (LOTTI CLEARS THROAT) - Don't worry.
We'll get you back to your son very soon.
Until then, I'll take you somewhere safe.
Until we catch these assailants, it's best to be cautious.
Thank you.
Gracias muchas.
Gracias.
- Tomas.
- TOMAS: Si, señor.
We are taking these ladies to my home.
They will need clean clothes and a shower.
LOTTI: Are you sure this is a good idea? If he contacts the British Embassy, we're all screwed.
It's better than taking our chances with Blanco's cops.
One play at a time, Lotti.
- Señoras, please follow me.
- Hmm.
You did well, all by yourself.
Let's just say it's not my first rodeo.
- Hmm.
- Now take me back to my bar.
- (HATE 'EM GROANING) - Where is our money? We don't have your fucking money! We gave it to the Romanians, okay? So I suggest you ask them.
I'll be more than happy to accompany you.
If you don't get my money in five minutes, I am going to start killing your friends.
And you, my brave man, you are going to choose the order.
Where do you think you're going? I'm thirsty.
This is a bar.
We we're closed.
Go and drink somewhere else.
You always this much of a dick? With people holding my mother hostage, yeah.
Blanco has your mother? Do you think I'm doing this for fun? Blanco has a blunt way of ensuring obedience.
Really? So what's he got on you? How does he ensure your obedience? I told you, I don't work for Blanco.
Oh, that's right.
I remember now.
You're freelance.
Hmm.
You ain't gonna get a drink standing there like a scarecrow, are you? Funny.
What kind of beer do you have? Whisky.
Oh, my favorite kind.
Cheers.
Salud.
You've had your drink now, you can go.
- (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) (GROANS) Oh, fuck! Shit.
Jesus, what happened here? Quick, untie us.
The Catalans came back.
Don't worry about 'em.
They're dead.
VIC: Are they properly pushing-up-daisies dead? I didn't check their pulses, Dad, but I'm pretty sure they're properly dead.
Come on.
Come here.
(GROANS) Did you kill them, Albert? No.
Ines did.
- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - Who's Ines? (GROANING) I am.
CHARLIE: Oh, well, thank you, Ines, then.
I'll meet you outside in a minute.
Come on, Hate 'Em, wake up.
We ain't got time to sleep.
Oh, no more.
No more peppers, Vic.
No more.
(SIGHS) - Hey.
- Hey.
I just wanted to say thanks for handling the Catalans back there.
You mean "thank you" for saving your life and the life of your friends? Yeah, but don't get too ahead of yourself.
We're pretty difficult to kill.
That's a quality that might come in useful in San Toledo.
(CAR STARTS) - You get the phone in her car? - Of course I did.
Look at the big brains on you, Charlie boy.
Come on, let's go inside.
Thank you.
This way, please.
LILY: Beautiful home.
Tomas, please show our friends to the guest room.
There's a bathroom to freshen up, and clean towels are in the cabinet.
Tomas will bring you fresh clothes.
I can't thank you enough.
It's the least we can do.
Señoritas, please follow me.
I know you know I'm gonna give it right back There ain't no way That I'm gonna give you the satisfaction I left my conscience burning in the tarmac Load my ammo, click it back Bang, bang and attack, yeah You're fucking with the boss now You're fucking with the boss now You're fucking with the boss now Hush, hush, legs crossed You're fucking with the boss now (SPEAKING SPANISH) (SCOFFS) Piece of cake.
(CELL PHONE RINGING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (BEEPING) - Come on, let's go.
- Wait.
It's Blanco.
So who we going after, Blanco or the girl? Wait a minute.
This is tracking Blanco.
The phone must be in his car, not Ines's.
She switched it.
She's helping us out.
Why the fuck would she do that? Don't worry about it.
If it's a trap, we'll blast our way out.
Follow Blanco, son.
BILLY: You think the girls are in there? There's only one way to find out.
Yeah, I say we invite ourselves in.
No prisoners, boys.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) ("PRES DES REMPARTS DE SEVILLE" PLAYING OVER STEREO) Oi! Que cojones! (GRUNTING) Where's my wife, you scumbag? (SONG CONTINUES) You're the mayor.
Correct.
Mayor Ortega.
Blanco works for you.
This is San Toledo.
I'm the mayor.
Everyone works for me.
Please, stand up.
Lieutenant Blanco here is spitting blood on my carpet, which cost a good deal more than his yearly salary.
Victor Hill, Charles Cavendish Scott, Albert Hill, William Ayres, and Henry White.
It's Hate 'Em.
What an honor to meet the infamous Hill Gang.
(SONG CONTINUES) (SONG ENDS) ORTEGA: I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't know when such important people sought refuge in my town.
It was you that took my wife.
(ORTEGA CHUCKLES) You tried to steal something that belonged to me.
You rattled my cage, Victor, so I, in turn, rattled yours.
It was business, not personal.
I beg to differ.
It appears we have an impasse.
What to do? You tell me where my Lily is or you'll go first.
LILY: Don't get your knickers in a twist.
I'm right here, Vic.
Lily.
If anybody's gonna kill my husband, it'll be me, all right? Too many angry boys with guns here for my liking.
I've got a novel idea.
How about we all lower our weapons and negotiate? No need to decorate the walls.
I think that's a wise idea, Mrs.
Hill.
There is no advantage for any of us in all this.
Boys, on three.
One two Albert.
- Three.
- Caballeros.
Before we continue, I have a question.
Where did you get that gun? It belongs to my daughter, a gift for her 18th birthday.
(LAUGHS) That bloke there is banging your daughter.
Excuse me? We saw 'em going at it like a couple of rabbits.
(SIGHS) Carlito.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH) (CELL PHONE RINGING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) Seems we've gotten off on the wrong foot here.
Clearly I have underestimated your tenacity.
And despite recent events, there was no malice in my actions toward you.
Does that include trying to have us killed at the airport? The past is behind us.
You escaped safely.
I got what I wanted.
There's rarely any profit in holding a grudge.
As a testament to my good will, you are free to go.
CHARLIE: S sorry, what? You're saying that all of us can just walk out of here right now? That's what I said, young man.
Well, back out slowly.
By morning, San Toledo will just be another bad memory.
I wonder, though, where will seven international fugitives go with nothing but the shirts on their backs? Of course, you can run, that's the obvious choice.
But for how long? And to where? Or you could stay.
As you may have gathered, there is a need in San Toledo for your particular skill set.
Make no mistake, if you stay here, you work for me.
We're Hills.
We don't work for nobody.
I'll see you again.
Consider my offer, Albert.
It's the best one you'll get.
And, please, shut the door on the way out.
(BLANCO SPEAKING SPANISH) (SIGHS) - (LAUGHING) - Hmm.
She was the fuck of the century.
Adios, Carlito.
(VIC AND LILY ARGUING INDISTINCTLY) (ARGUING INDISTINCTLY) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) I'm not doing another job tonight, all right? If that's a problem, shoot me.
Oh, you're safe.
I've shot enough gangsters today.
You think I'm a gangster? I don't know.
The jury's out.
You moved this to Blanco's car.
Why? I don't like it when people's families are threatened.
Thank you.
You owe me one.
Or is it two? So you don't work for Blanco 'cause you work for the mayor, right? The mayor and I have an arrangement.
Yeah, well, he's just offered us an arrangement, too.
Leave by morning or stay in San Toledo and work for him.
They're all out there now, arguing over what we should do.
And what do you think? I honestly don't know.
Maybe you should look out for yourself.
Maybe.
I mean, that's how you operate, right? Take care of number one.
(SCOFFS) You're lucky, you know.
You're lucky you don't have anyone to look after.
(SIGHS) Then again maybe you're lucky you do.
Thanks for the cigarette, Alberto.
Don't mention it.
(INDISTINCT ARGUING) - Keep the noise down.
- Shut up! Oi! Shut your mouths! LILY: How do you sleep at nights? VIC: How do I sleep at night? I'll tell you - I don't know.
No! - Hey! Dad? (ARGUING STOPS) ALBERT: Thank you.
It's been rough these past few days, innit? Been properly through the ringer, haven't we? And here we are again, having to make that decision whether we're gonna run.
But just bear this in mind.
Everywhere we go, every port we dock in, there's gonna be another Bob Fink, another Carlito Blanco, another Mayor Ortega, basically another bastard that wants to shove his boot down our necks, and I've had enough.
Now, we started something here, and we're gonna go through with it.
We'll never be truly safe until we have more than just money.
We need power.
San Toledo may belong to the mayor tonight, but this is our home now.
And I can't speak for the rest of you, but I say we stay here.
We stay here, and we make him regret that they ever let us walk out of his door.
Line 'em up and shoot 'em down Get out your brush, let's paint this town We ain't leavin' till the sun comes up All night long, keep it comin' that good stuff Pour me that good stuff And make it strong enough To make the hair stand up On the back of my neck I wanna feel it going down Take me on down Ooh, don't pull me up for air Till I say when Yeah Line 'em up and shoot 'em down Get out your brush, let's paint this town We ain't leavin' till the sun comes up All night long, keep it comin' that good stuff Good stuff Come on, let's turn it up Oh, when the sun goes down Take the party uptown Gonna turn up the music And shake this ground Line 'em up and shoot 'em down Get out your brush, let's paint this town We ain't leavin' till the sun comes up All night long, keep it comin' that good stuff Line 'em up and shoot 'em down Get out your brush, let's paint this town We ain't leavin' till the sun comes up All night long, keep it comin' that good stuff