The Carrie Diaries (2012) s02e03 Episode Script
Strings Attached
Before there was sex before there was the city, there was just me, Carrie Carrie Bradshaw from Castlebury, Connecticut.
Walt was never gonna love you in any real way.
- I don't understand.
- I don't think Walt likes girls.
I wanna be with you.
I wanna see what this is.
I can't believe I ever loved you.
You make me sick.
I'm Sam Jones.
And P.
S.
I prefer "Samantha.
" My friend's out of town.
I'm just crashing here.
Well, your friend sure has a lot of crap.
So pretentious.
It's from Larissa.
"Konnichiwa.
Returning early.
See you in a week.
" She's coming home early.
- What came between you and that boy? - Maggie.
- Bet you regret kissing me.
- Yes, I do.
Whatever you have to say, I deserve it.
Fine.
You broke my heart, and I hate you because I still love you.
Looking from a window above it's like a story of love it's easy to become attached to something you love.
And I love this city.
Only yesterday moving farther away It's even harder to let go of that something when you've held it so close for so long.
All I needed was the love you gave But as fun as my summer in Manhattan had been, I had to accept it was coming to an end.
And all I ever knew Only you I'm telling you, I love New York But it is one giant crime scene out there.
What happened to your bike? It looks so sad.
Someone stole the wheel, the chain, and my favorite horn.
I think I've spent more money on bike parts this summer than I actually made as a bike messenger.
I feel your pain.
Every single necklace I wore on the subway got ripped right off.
Eventually, I just started wearing candy necklaces instead.
I gotta hand it to us.
We made it an entire summer in one of the most dangerous places there is.
Well, that's all coming to an end now that we're heading back Castlebury.
Where I will walk down the halls, wondering if everyone can feel that I'm gay.
And I will walk down the halls and get to see Sebastian, every single day, in close proximity.
I know what you mean.
I'm more afraid of Maggie than common criminals.
I just have no idea how she's gonna act around me or if she'll expose me.
So it's decided.
We'll just stay here.
It's safer in the crime capital of the world.
Yeah.
I don't know Larissa feels about roomies.
Konnichiwa! And no, I don't do roommates.
Yes, I was listening at the door.
Or maybe I just fell asleep out there for a minute.
- Larissa, welcome home.
- Oh, mwah.
Thank you, darling.
I have horrible jet lag, so forgive me if I black out.
That flight was an eternity.
What is it? Like, 17 hours? I have no idea.
I took two muscle relaxants.
Now, boys and girls, sit down so I can regale you with tales of the far east, Japanese style.
Mmm! With sake! Ooh.
Apparently, I drank most of this one on the plane.
But not worry.
I have more.
Looks like Larissa's back.
You're gonna love me.
Why? Did you land me a date with Emilio Estevez? These are your college applications.
It's time to start planning your future.
Thanks.
I think I'll just keep the life I have now.
It's so awesome.
Stop that.
Now I've already done a lot of the work.
I researched all the colleges in the area that would accept your G.
P.
A.
and test scores, plus all of these schools offer financial aid.
Could someone just give me financial aid without me having to go to college? Now the eight schools I picked each have a $25 application fee.
So altogether, you're looking at $200 to apply.
Mouse, that's a lot.
I know, but I also know you have your babysitting job and you've been saving up.
Yeah, so I can buy lots of cute clothes.
Stop shopping.
Start saving.
$200 is a small price to pay to start you on the road to higher education.
All you have to do is fill out these forms and write a personal essay.
You're welcome.
Wait.
For making me spend $500 of my own hard-earned money on some charity gala, just to make you look good? There will be hot babes.
I'm taking Deb.
Really? That ballroom is gonna be crawling with hot blondes, all of them scrambling around to find their sugar daddy.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not really the, uh sugar daddy type.
And I doubt most of those women would be knocking each other over for a date with a small-town lawyer.
But they would be interested in a powerhouse M & A lawyer at Long & Whitney.
Which would be you.
Or you, if you come back to the firm.
Ha ha.
Come on, Harlan.
You know I'm happy with my practice.
Listen to me, Tom.
The M & A business it is booming.
Investment banks are taking over the world.
I need good lawyers, tough lawyers.
I remember you back in the day.
You were a relentless barracuda.
You're really offering me a job? Well, I figured your situation might've changed since your girls are growing up.
I mean, I thought you might be ready to re-up, get back in with the big boys.
You don't miss it? I don't know.
I mean I'm not sure I'm that guy anymore.
You know, things at home are very manageable.
I-I keep my own hours.
I see my girls.
I might lose those things if I worked here.
Just imagine what you'd gain bigger cases, big money, that incredible adrenaline rush.
Not to mention the abundance of hot blondes.
Duly noted.
You like hot blondes.
- I do.
- All right.
Well, look, I-I appreciate the offer, but I'm just not sure that this world is a fit for me anymore.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
You know where I am if you change your mind.
Think about my offer.
So, yeah, the geisha thing didn't work out.
Those women are way too subservient for my taste.
I need to be the boss, even when I'm doing the boss.
I had a mad affair with the C.
E.
O.
of a major Japanese corporation.
Here's a hint they make electronics.
Oh! A tiny man but very powerful.
He taught me so much.
I don't really wanna hear about your sexcapades.
Don't be such a deviant.
He taught me to be Zen.
Zen? I-is that an adjective or a verb? It's a way of life.
This is gonna be hard to explain, especially after three muscle relaxers.
I thought you took two.
I'm a nervous flier, but less so after being Zen.
- And tranquilized.
- Mm-hmm.
Zen is all about being in the moment, remaining calm and detached from expectations.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
- Sake - I'm sorry.
Are you speaking in tongues? No.
It's my mantra.
It's a little combination of words I came up with to help me feel calm and centered.
"We are but a steady rock in a stream, all of life's rough waters rushing around us.
" I wanna be Zen.
That sounds so lovely.
Mm.
If I could detach myself from Sebastian once I get back to school, he won't be able to affect me.
He'll be like the rough waters rushing around my steady rock.
Still pining after the hair God? I feel like I've said that before.
That's because I'm a broken record.
But I don't want to do that anymore.
My pattern of falling into Sebastian's charming aura is is over.
If he comes up to me with that delicious smelling scent of his, I He doesn't even wear cologne.
It won't faze me because I'll be Zen.
Wonderful.
Plus, I'm sure all the beautiful men you met in New York will make that all easier.
I didn't really meet any guys, but I did make a fun new girlfriend.
Is it a lesbian lover? Exciting.
Uh, no.
Sorry.
But don't be disappointed.
There is one gay relationship that seems to be going pretty well.
It's true.
Bennet and I have been having a lot of fun together.
And is the sex spectacular? I always imagined Bennet to be positively ravenous in bed.
Actually, we well, haven't done it yet.
In fact, I'm not completely sure I know what "doing it" would even mean.
I'm so new to this.
Sweetie, it could mean a number of things.
Let me explain in detail.
- No.
- No! It Really, I'll find out on my own.
Bennet and I are just hanging out.
Nothing official.
Just keeping it easy breezy.
Well, I hope you have a little bit more room for excitement before heading off to that tiny little town of yours.
Mm, I think we can make time in our busy schedules.
Terrific.
Then next week, we'll have one last blowout at Youshiki.
Youshi-what? Is that a new club? No.
It's a fantastic Japanese Festival here in the city.
East meets West.
Everyone who is everyone is gonna be there.
Carrie, maybe you invite your new friend? Oh, that would be great.
I-I think you're really gonna like Samantha.
It's the end of summer event with sake tastings and fabulous clothes on display from fabulous Japanese designers.
Alcohol and fashion.
My favorite combination.
Well, it sounds divine.
I feel centered just thinking about it.
To a new calm and detached way of life.
Yes.
And anything that is thrown at me in Castlebury will just wash past me.
What are you doing here? She's not home.
I'm actually here to see you.
I need your help with Carrie.
Welcome to Youshiki, everyone.
Ohh.
Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in all your life? Who knew a simple gardenia could teach us so much? Just makes you want to detach from the clutter and embrace the calm.
I was transfixed.
It was so simple, so effortlessly beautiful and tranquil, just like I wanted my life to be.
She's finding her Zen.
I'm gonna find some sake.
I can't believe it's my last day here.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna mi you, too.
And New York.
But mostly me, right? Yes.
It's been a really fun summer hanging out.
It's gonna be hard to go back to Castlebury.
You mean to being back in the closet? How am I gonna do this? I mean, I can't come out yet.
I'm not ready to tell my parents.
I definitely hear ya.
And in school it's way too risky.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
There was this kid named Jim Hansen wasn't even gay.
He just liked theater and was always singing "Pippin" they beat the crap out of him.
Okay, I'm not so sure that kid wasn't gay.
But, yes, you must be careful.
Whoa.
Is that a Ninja? It is.
Yeah, I always wanted to be a Ninja when I was a kid.
Why? So you could be really quiet and throw daggers at people when they aren't looking? Mostly so I could slip in and out of places without being seen.
Amen.
Maybe that's every closeted kid's dream.
It's certainly mine.
Then do it.
Get in and out of that school without getting punched.
Yeah.
I like that goal.
And if you're ever feeling alone or scared about any of it, I want you to call me.
Anytime.
Thanks.
I'll be fine as long as I fly under the radar, with no hoopla.
What in the hell is this place?! Ugh.
The bridge and tunnel crowd are infesting everywhere.
What is that loud banshee doing here? Carrie! Carrie! I invited her.
That's my friend Samantha.
We'll come we'll come over there, okay?! Stay there! We'll come over there! Okay? Oh, look who it is.
It's been too long.
Yeah, or not long enough.
Just keep driving, Simon.
This little move of yours doesn't usually work out so good for me.
What are you talking about? Why don't you just go home to your fiancée? Don't be that way.
I just miss us hanging out.
I wanna catch up.
Sorry.
I'm headed somewhere.
Where's somewhere? I'll give you a lift.
The library's just around the corner.
The library? What do you need with a library? I'm working on my college applications.
Ugh.
That sounds like a lot of work.
Besides, what do you need college for? So I can get out of this sorry little town, Simon.
Come on.
Some things in this town aren't so bad.
We both know you don't want to work on those applications.
Fine, but it has nothing to do with you.
I'm just procrastinating.
So what do I wear to one of these charity balls thingies? Is it dressy? Um Yes.
Yeah, you should wear a dress.
Long one? Short one? I don't know.
You gotta find out.
I-I can't wear the wrong thing.
That I know.
Okay, okay.
I will call Harlan's secretary Barbara and, uh, find out.
I don't want to talk to him directly.
You afraid he's gonna ask for more money? I'm afraid he's gonna hassle me about the offer.
What offer? Did he offer to take us in his limo? He wants me to come back to work at the firm.
Hey, that's great.
- Are you considering it? - No.
- No.
- Why not? Because I'm just not sure that that's my world anymore, and I like the practice that I've built here, and my girls need me, so Is that why you're always complaining about how boring your caseload is? I do not do that.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, I'm sorry, but I don't care if Mr.
Etheridge's property line may extend by 5 feet at the side.
- I - Exactly.
- But the girls - Are doing great, and probably don't want you hanging around all the time, checking up on them.
Did you like the work? It was exciting.
I loved closing a deal.
I mean, the rush So maybe you should think about it.
I'm sure you can find that guy in you again.
Maybe.
I'm trying to imagine you as some hotshot killer lawyer.
I was a badass.
Really? Mm-hmm.
That'll be $5.
75.
Sebastian.
What a nice surprise.
I love surprises, don't you? Yeah, sure, Mrs.
Donovan.
Please, it's Vicky.
And I wish you'd give me those golf lessons I've been asking you for.
I've told you, Mrs.
Donovan, I'm not much of a golfer.
But I'm sure they have a pro at the club.
But you seem like such a natural.
I've seen you on the green.
You got great hands.
Thank you, but my answer's still no.
I'm just looking for something fun, light, no strings attached 'cause I'm already attached.
That's just not really my thing.
Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Have a good afternoon, Mrs.
Donovan.
It's Vicky.
These designs are the chicest of the chic.
Stylish, innovative, every one a work of art.
Oh.
And now for our dear Carrie What a sight to behold.
The simple lines, the calming texture.
Issey Miyake plus Carrie Bradshaw equals Zen, if ever I saw it.
You think so? You would rock the halls of Castlebury in that, Carrie.
As in, "This is a Miyake, so don't try and stop me.
" You want her to wear pajamas to school? Excuse me? I think my mother wore something like that when she burnt our trailer down with her cigarette.
It's avant-garde couture.
It's ridiculous.
No man wants to see a woman in that.
Oh, no self-respecting woman dresses for men.
Women dress for other women.
Or gay men.
Case in point You boys like it, right? No wonder none of you get laid.
In an outfit like that, no one would wanna have sex with you.
Oh, you're so wrong.
The right type of man would absolutely wanna have sex with a woman in this.
Well, if by the "Right man" you mean a gay man, he would only wanna make love to the outfit, not you.
How much is this? Why did I ever think these two would get along? - This is going - Exactly as I expected.
- They hate each other.
- $800?! I could buy a house for that.
Mm, one of those trailers you like so much? Well, at least I'm being me and not some pretentious poseur.
Ugh, you have no room to speak, especially considering you look like a tired old slag.
This is a beautiful creation, and it is perfect for Carrie.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
I'm sorry.
Are you threatening to sock me? Because you don't wanna mess with me.
- No.
No, I don't wanna mess with you.
- This is not good.
- I want you - Here's what's going to happen.
Larissa's head is going to pop off.
Samantha is going to break something incredibly expensive.
We're all gonna get kicked out of here, and my job at "Interview" will be over.
I need to get in there and defuse this now.
Well, hold on a minute.
What about being Zen? You actually have to stay detached.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
- Um, I just need to stay calm.
- Right.
- Stay calm.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Think of that gardenia.
Yeah.
Why is it so quiet? Did they kill each other? Who's behind that sexy mask? Whoa! He looks acrobatic.
Carrie, dear, look.
This Yamamoto is even more sublime than the Miyake.
That was beautiful.
See? The problem fixed itself.
Wow.
Maybe this Zen thing really does work.
Totally.
And if you were able to detach and let go of that, imagine what you're gonna be able to do once you're faced with Sebastian.
I think I'm gonna need my own mantra.
It was the first day of school, and my goal was to remain Zen, calm, detached.
That was the key.
Dorrit! You've been in there for 20 minutes.
Some of us have to get ready for school, too.
Dorrit, I'm serious! This is incredibly selfish of you.
Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
Easy breezy.
Easy Can't you wait your turn? Oh, does my turn come at midnight? No.
Calm.
Calm.
Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
- Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
- What in the world are you mumbling? Actually, I'm chanting.
This is my mantra.
It keeps me in a calm and detached state.
Well, maybe you and your detached state can stop screaming at the bathroom door.
You know what? You're absolutely right.
You just take your time in there.
I was way too attached to the clock and the time.
Well, you should be.
You're gonna be late for school.
Really, no hurry.
You go ahead.
I'm just gonna be here in the moment.
Okay, freak, where exactly is this coming from? I've turned a new leaf.
I'm Zen.
Everything just washes past me, including people calling me "Freak" Super freak.
Again, totally calm.
All is well with the world.
In fact, I'm really excited we're finally going to the same school together.
Ugh, please.
What? It's a big deal.
The Bradshaw girls in the same hallowed high school halls.
Whatever.
It's just school.
No, it's more than that for us.
It's important.
And if you ever need anything, you know, maybe some sisterly advice or any help with anything at all, I'm happy to help.
Oh, that actually sounds good.
So you'd help me out with anything I needed at school? Without question? Like if something came up? Yeah.
I'm here for you, Dorrit.
Good.
And as I was preparing to be Zen for my first day of school and becoming surprisingly closer to my sister, Samantha was waking up to a surprise of her own.
Hey.
Where are you going? I guess I fell asleep after we had sex last night.
Certainly didn't mean to be here in the morning.
What's wrong with that? I wanted to wake up with you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, I know you liked me in the mask, but I gotta take it off.
It's too hot.
No, no, no! It's so much hotter with it on! Don't do that! Now you've ruined everything.
Where's the mystery? There's no mystery.
Name's Paul Cunningham.
Iowa state gymnastics team.
Came to New York to be an actor.
It's getting worse.
Stop talking.
- Just stop talking.
- Wait, wait.
Why are you leaving? Don't you wanna get to know me? Maybe let me take you out? No.
Don't.
Really.
I gotta get out of here.
No! Shoo, Ninja! Shoo! Hey.
To what do I owe the surprise visit? Did you dump Deb? You looking for a bimbo for the ball? 'Cause I've got some options.
That's still a big "No.
" No.
I wanted to talk to you about your offer.
Ohh! Tom, that is great news! I knew you'd come around.
All right, now before you get too excited, I should warn you this won't come cheap.
Like I said, I have a job that I find extremely rewarding.
My girls are constantly around and need my attention.
So you're gonna have to swing hard if you really want me to work here.
I hear you loud and clear, Tommy.
You are a tough negotiator, Tom Bradshaw.
And that is exactly why I want you here.
Congratulations.
Mm.
You know, you could've asked for about 10% more.
Oh, I know.
No, I, uh, am agreeing to work for less because I have a few deal points that are non-negotiable.
Oh.
And what if I say no to them? Well, then I'll walk away, no problem.
Okay, what do you got? I wanna make my own hours.
I don't want one word if I ever have to drop everything to be with the kids, and I wanna be home for dinner at least three nights a week, no questions asked.
Oh, and, uh, I also want season tickets to the Rangers.
Box seats.
Done.
Good.
I hope you're not ruining those girls.
What, by focusing on them? Exactly.
They'll be totally screwed up with crazy expectations about men.
Ruined for life.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hey.
What are you in a sports Jersey? Oh, it's like my straight armor.
It's my way to be a Ninja.
Oh.
That's a good idea.
It was mine.
So you ready for our first day of senior year? Sure.
You don't sound too happy about it.
No.
I'm I'm good.
- I'm practicing remaining calm, detached.
- Oh.
Ahh.
How am I doing? Totally Zen.
Carrie, can we talk? Whoa! You're actually talking to me? I figured you'd just ignore me the whole year.
Normally, I would, but I need your help.
I'm in Mr.
O'Neal's English class.
Oh, he's the worst.
And his breath I know.
I really wanted Mr.
London.
I wouldn't normally put you out like this, but you're easily one of Mr.
London's favorite students, and maybe if you talked to him It's true.
I am his favorite.
I'm all over this.
Bye, guys.
Maggie! Happy first day! Oh.
Yeah, I guess.
Hey.
So how are things going with the college applications? Oh, they're fine.
It's fine.
Hey, what schools are you applying to? Don't even try it, Walt.
It's not gonna happen! God, I hope she doesn't out me.
She won't.
Don't let her get you down.
Just try and focus on the good stuff Like how your Jersey is working like a charm.
Check out Reynolds the Jets fan.
What, the Pats aren't good enough for you, Reynolds? Uh, I really like the Pats.
I mean, those are two great guys.
What? "Pats" are short for "Patriots," a team.
I have to stop talking and get out of here.
And fast.
Bye, guys! One thing you need to know is that Mr.
London is tough, but he's fair.
He just wants you to I lied.
Sorry.
What's happening? You have some nerve, standing there with your sparkly bedroom eyes and your cute floppy hair.
Do you have a problem with my eyes? Yes.
They're too sparkly and inscrutable.
They're just annoying.
Are they bothering you? I just said they were.
Everything about you is bothering me.
Oh, is it? You are not gonna get to me.
I am calm, detached.
I'm totally Zen.
I feel nothing for you.
Nothing, huh? Nothing.
Excuse me! Oh! What exactly is going on here? Um I can explain.
That was a rhetorical question, Carrie.
You do remember what "rhetorical" means from my class, don't you? Listen, just this wasn't her fault.
I'm you can explain it all to the principal.
Oh! I am so sorry, Mr.
London.
How are those college applications going, Maggie? Um, they're not going.
It's too hard filling out those forms.
Yes.
Using a pen is challenging.
Look, the stupid forms are confusing, okay? There's too many questions.
Like "What is your name?" and "What's your birth date?" It's a waste of time.
It's not like I have some awesome future waiting for me.
Well, you won't havene at all if you don't try.
I can't believe I put more effort and work into this than you.
Wow.
Don't waste your time on me.
Nobody asked you to.
You know what, Maggie? The reason people get so fed up with you is because you won't take any responsibility for yourself.
What, like how Walt made a fool of me? Do you have any idea what this is like for Walt? Trying to figure out who he is while making sure no one else here does? He is wearing a sports jersey, for God sakes.
Take a look around.
People are going through stuff.
Hey.
English lady.
What are you doing here? No takers at your usual corner today? Mm.
I just came to see Carrie.
Carrie isn't here.
She's off at that place with all the lockers and the bells and the people running about.
A train station? No.
High school.
But I wouldn't put it past you not to be familiar.
I forgot Carrie went to school.
Got so used to seeing her every day.
I actually used to come visit her here during the summer.
I sat right there, on your desk.
Why does it not surprise me that a tawdry wannabe like you would try and get in the good graces of someone who works at "Interview"? You've got to be kidding.
I could give a rat's ass about your magazine.
I've never even read it.
Besides, everyone here looks like they're straight out of the circus.
Why did you come here? And why are you still here? I just wanted to tell Carrie about my Ninja adventure.
I slept with that guy from Youshi whatever, and now he's wanting to take me out.
So lame.
Can you believe it? Hmm, that someone would like to get to know you? Yes, that does sound dubious.
Please.
You have idea who I am.
Oh, don't I? Let's see.
You pretend to be above the idea of commitment, thinking you are so much better than all those men you sleep with.
But the truth is, you're just afraid to connect.
You are scared to death of being left out in the dust by some guy who realizes you're just a loud hillbilly with zero future.
That couldn't be further from the truth.
I'm not afraid of commitment.
In fact, I came here to get that address of that Festival from Carrie, so I could go see my Ninja boy.
I just couldn't remember where it was at.
You just Here you go.
Thanks, honey.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Hey, look who it is.
Reynolds the Jets fan.
I'm not really that big a fan.
You saying you don't love football? No, no! I-it's just You'll have to talk shop later, boys.
I'm gonna take Walt now.
How's it going? Are you doing okay? I guess.
I've just never been called "Reynolds" so much in my life.
Please tell me you're not trying to talk sports with the jocks.
Well are you trying to get yourself killed? I Mmm.
What are you doing? Just stick with me.
I'm the only one equipped to keep you under the gaydar.
Gaydar? Yeah, I just made it up.
Mmm! I'm not so sure that'll stick.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
See? Now no one will think you're gay.
But aren't you dating one of those guys? - Oops.
- Oops? Uh oh! What are you doing with my girl, Reynolds? Do you realize I've never been sent to the principal's office in all my 12 years of school? And here I am, before lunch on my first day of my senior year.
If I get suspended and lose my internship over this, I'm holding you responsible.
You kissed me.
I just wanted to talk.
Oh, so it's my fault? I'm not taking all the blame here, buddy.
How you can just sit there all calm and cool like always is beyond me.
I'm not calm.
Being without you is ripping me to shreds.
Oh.
How did we get here? All I wanted was to be Zen, like the gardenia.
The flower? I saw this beautiful gardenia in the city, floating in a glass box.
It was so simple and clean, and it smelled so good.
I just wanted that to be me.
That is you.
No, it's not.
No.
With you, I'm just a jumbled mess of pain and emotions.
Any time we're together, it's chaos.
Nothing about us is simple.
I'll never be the gardenia.
Never.
Lucky for you, I'm not suspended.
Not that afterschool detention all next week is much better.
I'm not the one who was tearing off her clothes in a classroom.
You heard? Dorrit, why did you even help Sebastian like that? Because he really likes you.
And it's super annoying watching you mope around all the time because of him.
Well, that wasn't your call to make.
You know, for the less screwed-up sister, you sure are a mess.
I have a lot going on.
In your head.
Get out of it and just go after what you want.
That's what I do.
The trouble is, I've been thinking so much, I don't know what I want anymore.
Excuse me, Ninja? Ninja boy.
So here's the thing.
I know I was pretty awful to you this morning and pretty much ran out on you.
And at the time, I thought that was a good thing.
But I've been doing some thinking, and This isn't the easiest thing for me to say, but Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we saw more of each other.
After all, the sex was fantastic.
And if you'd keep the mask on from time to time and maybe put me up in your place when I need somewhere to crash, I don't see why we couldn't get to know each other a little.
So yeah.
What do you say? I not sure I understand.
Oh.
Not who I was expecting.
Sorry? I not speak English.
Well, then, I think this conversation went great.
I'm glad everything worked out so well.
Yeah.
Human resources got you all squared away? Oh, it'll be such a relief to have somebody else doing the billing for me.
Well, it'll be nice to have you around.
From one Bradshaw to another.
You are following in your daughter's footsteps.
With a corner office and season tickets to the Rangers.
Ohh, I'm really looking forward to those Rangers tickets.
I guess I'm gonna need a few more Armani power ties, huh? Yes, you will.
Barracudas only wear Armani.
I'm a barracuda again.
Well, I just, uh, I need to grab my briefcase, - and then I'll be on my way.
- Yeah.
I'm so glad you came back.
Mmm.
Do you want me to talk dirty Japanese to you? Oh, yeah! Please talk dirty.
Huh? Do you? Yeah.
Dirty Japanese.
Mmm! Ohh! I love dirty Japanese.
I I didn't realize that they were still Dating.
Yeah.
They can't seem to let go of each other.
- My jacket is still in there.
- Leave it.
I'll I'll have it dry cleaned.
Or incinerated.
Um, Walt, c-can we talk? You've caused enough trouble for Walt.
Turn around and walk away, and no one gets hurt.
Uh, not that it's any of your business, but I came here to apologize.
Oh.
Oh, then by all means, take a seat.
Privately.
It's okay.
I'll be fine.
I think I can take her.
All right, well, I'll be right over there, talking to the new wrestling captain, if you need me.
I don't trust this one.
You've got quite a shiner.
Yeah.
I kinda can't feel the left side of my face.
I couldn't believe that guy hit you.
Believe it.
Did he do it 'cause you're, um, - you know - gay? No.
He thought Donna and I were fooling around, and he was jealous.
It's funny.
I was so worried about getting beat up or harassed for being gay, and instead I get pounded for trying to act straight.
You know, I-I'm sorry, Walt, for everything.
I didn't really think about how difficult this must be for you.
I felt so bad that you didn't love me, and I let it get in the way.
Maggie, I do love you.
I know.
Just not in that way.
But that has nothing to do with you.
You have to stop thinking of yourself as unworthy.
You deserve to have someone that loves you, someone really great who you can have a future with.
Thanks for that.
You're a good friend.
You deserve that, too.
I'm sure this year is not going to be easy.
But there's only So I'm pretty sure I can make it.
Well, I'll help where I can.
They say a clear desk creates a clear mind, but mine was still a jumble.
What I needed was a sign telling me what to do.
Oh.
Hi.
And there it was my sign.
I'm really glad you're here.
Um, there's something I wanted to tell you.
Um, actually, I'd like to say something first, if that's okay.
Okay.
I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything.
I'm sorry I got you in trouble today.
I'm sorry for what happened with Maggie.
I'm sorry for ruining your trust.
I'm sorry for everything I ever put you through.
Thank you.
All I do is make things crazy for you, and I want things to be simpler for you, like that flower you were talking about.
The gardenia.
I don't want to stand in your way anymore, Carrie.
So I'm gonna let you go.
And I won't keep fighting you.
I know it's over.
Okay.
I'm sure I'll see you around.
For a brief second, I thought about fighting for him.
But then, in a moment of clarity, I knew he was right.
Maybe our present did not include each other, and we had to let go.
Detach.
Hey.
I got a half an hour.
Wanna go for a ride? Wow.
Whole half-hour? If I remember, you only need What's wrong with you? - You're engaged.
- Never stopped you before.
Yeah, well Maybe I've decided that I deserve better.
Well, so are we go do this or what? I don't think so.
No.
Are you serious? Way more serious than you ever took me, Simon.
I think I would rather spend my time with someone who actually thinks I deserve a future.
Whatever.
It's your loss.
Being Zen can mean many things, like finding a calm within yourself.
It can also be about living in the moment, not worrying about the future.
So what changed your mind? Why'd you finally agree to get together? Feels like "No strings attached" might be just the game I'm looking for.
Well I'm really glad you decided to play.
We're gonna have a lot of fun.
How the strong get weak and the rich get poor slave to love oh, yeah Zen might also mean having the faith to know that if you're present, you can grow and make choices that are good for you and your future.
You're running with me don't touch the ground we're the restless hearted Ooh.
You have a secret admirer? Not the chained and bound Maybe.
I don't know.
The sky is burning Hope you like your gardenia, Carrie.
I couldn't resist.
Thank you.
I will be the same slave to love It's beautiful.
Slave to love ooh slave to love
Walt was never gonna love you in any real way.
- I don't understand.
- I don't think Walt likes girls.
I wanna be with you.
I wanna see what this is.
I can't believe I ever loved you.
You make me sick.
I'm Sam Jones.
And P.
S.
I prefer "Samantha.
" My friend's out of town.
I'm just crashing here.
Well, your friend sure has a lot of crap.
So pretentious.
It's from Larissa.
"Konnichiwa.
Returning early.
See you in a week.
" She's coming home early.
- What came between you and that boy? - Maggie.
- Bet you regret kissing me.
- Yes, I do.
Whatever you have to say, I deserve it.
Fine.
You broke my heart, and I hate you because I still love you.
Looking from a window above it's like a story of love it's easy to become attached to something you love.
And I love this city.
Only yesterday moving farther away It's even harder to let go of that something when you've held it so close for so long.
All I needed was the love you gave But as fun as my summer in Manhattan had been, I had to accept it was coming to an end.
And all I ever knew Only you I'm telling you, I love New York But it is one giant crime scene out there.
What happened to your bike? It looks so sad.
Someone stole the wheel, the chain, and my favorite horn.
I think I've spent more money on bike parts this summer than I actually made as a bike messenger.
I feel your pain.
Every single necklace I wore on the subway got ripped right off.
Eventually, I just started wearing candy necklaces instead.
I gotta hand it to us.
We made it an entire summer in one of the most dangerous places there is.
Well, that's all coming to an end now that we're heading back Castlebury.
Where I will walk down the halls, wondering if everyone can feel that I'm gay.
And I will walk down the halls and get to see Sebastian, every single day, in close proximity.
I know what you mean.
I'm more afraid of Maggie than common criminals.
I just have no idea how she's gonna act around me or if she'll expose me.
So it's decided.
We'll just stay here.
It's safer in the crime capital of the world.
Yeah.
I don't know Larissa feels about roomies.
Konnichiwa! And no, I don't do roommates.
Yes, I was listening at the door.
Or maybe I just fell asleep out there for a minute.
- Larissa, welcome home.
- Oh, mwah.
Thank you, darling.
I have horrible jet lag, so forgive me if I black out.
That flight was an eternity.
What is it? Like, 17 hours? I have no idea.
I took two muscle relaxants.
Now, boys and girls, sit down so I can regale you with tales of the far east, Japanese style.
Mmm! With sake! Ooh.
Apparently, I drank most of this one on the plane.
But not worry.
I have more.
Looks like Larissa's back.
You're gonna love me.
Why? Did you land me a date with Emilio Estevez? These are your college applications.
It's time to start planning your future.
Thanks.
I think I'll just keep the life I have now.
It's so awesome.
Stop that.
Now I've already done a lot of the work.
I researched all the colleges in the area that would accept your G.
P.
A.
and test scores, plus all of these schools offer financial aid.
Could someone just give me financial aid without me having to go to college? Now the eight schools I picked each have a $25 application fee.
So altogether, you're looking at $200 to apply.
Mouse, that's a lot.
I know, but I also know you have your babysitting job and you've been saving up.
Yeah, so I can buy lots of cute clothes.
Stop shopping.
Start saving.
$200 is a small price to pay to start you on the road to higher education.
All you have to do is fill out these forms and write a personal essay.
You're welcome.
Wait.
For making me spend $500 of my own hard-earned money on some charity gala, just to make you look good? There will be hot babes.
I'm taking Deb.
Really? That ballroom is gonna be crawling with hot blondes, all of them scrambling around to find their sugar daddy.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not really the, uh sugar daddy type.
And I doubt most of those women would be knocking each other over for a date with a small-town lawyer.
But they would be interested in a powerhouse M & A lawyer at Long & Whitney.
Which would be you.
Or you, if you come back to the firm.
Ha ha.
Come on, Harlan.
You know I'm happy with my practice.
Listen to me, Tom.
The M & A business it is booming.
Investment banks are taking over the world.
I need good lawyers, tough lawyers.
I remember you back in the day.
You were a relentless barracuda.
You're really offering me a job? Well, I figured your situation might've changed since your girls are growing up.
I mean, I thought you might be ready to re-up, get back in with the big boys.
You don't miss it? I don't know.
I mean I'm not sure I'm that guy anymore.
You know, things at home are very manageable.
I-I keep my own hours.
I see my girls.
I might lose those things if I worked here.
Just imagine what you'd gain bigger cases, big money, that incredible adrenaline rush.
Not to mention the abundance of hot blondes.
Duly noted.
You like hot blondes.
- I do.
- All right.
Well, look, I-I appreciate the offer, but I'm just not sure that this world is a fit for me anymore.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
You know where I am if you change your mind.
Think about my offer.
So, yeah, the geisha thing didn't work out.
Those women are way too subservient for my taste.
I need to be the boss, even when I'm doing the boss.
I had a mad affair with the C.
E.
O.
of a major Japanese corporation.
Here's a hint they make electronics.
Oh! A tiny man but very powerful.
He taught me so much.
I don't really wanna hear about your sexcapades.
Don't be such a deviant.
He taught me to be Zen.
Zen? I-is that an adjective or a verb? It's a way of life.
This is gonna be hard to explain, especially after three muscle relaxers.
I thought you took two.
I'm a nervous flier, but less so after being Zen.
- And tranquilized.
- Mm-hmm.
Zen is all about being in the moment, remaining calm and detached from expectations.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
- Sake - I'm sorry.
Are you speaking in tongues? No.
It's my mantra.
It's a little combination of words I came up with to help me feel calm and centered.
"We are but a steady rock in a stream, all of life's rough waters rushing around us.
" I wanna be Zen.
That sounds so lovely.
Mm.
If I could detach myself from Sebastian once I get back to school, he won't be able to affect me.
He'll be like the rough waters rushing around my steady rock.
Still pining after the hair God? I feel like I've said that before.
That's because I'm a broken record.
But I don't want to do that anymore.
My pattern of falling into Sebastian's charming aura is is over.
If he comes up to me with that delicious smelling scent of his, I He doesn't even wear cologne.
It won't faze me because I'll be Zen.
Wonderful.
Plus, I'm sure all the beautiful men you met in New York will make that all easier.
I didn't really meet any guys, but I did make a fun new girlfriend.
Is it a lesbian lover? Exciting.
Uh, no.
Sorry.
But don't be disappointed.
There is one gay relationship that seems to be going pretty well.
It's true.
Bennet and I have been having a lot of fun together.
And is the sex spectacular? I always imagined Bennet to be positively ravenous in bed.
Actually, we well, haven't done it yet.
In fact, I'm not completely sure I know what "doing it" would even mean.
I'm so new to this.
Sweetie, it could mean a number of things.
Let me explain in detail.
- No.
- No! It Really, I'll find out on my own.
Bennet and I are just hanging out.
Nothing official.
Just keeping it easy breezy.
Well, I hope you have a little bit more room for excitement before heading off to that tiny little town of yours.
Mm, I think we can make time in our busy schedules.
Terrific.
Then next week, we'll have one last blowout at Youshiki.
Youshi-what? Is that a new club? No.
It's a fantastic Japanese Festival here in the city.
East meets West.
Everyone who is everyone is gonna be there.
Carrie, maybe you invite your new friend? Oh, that would be great.
I-I think you're really gonna like Samantha.
It's the end of summer event with sake tastings and fabulous clothes on display from fabulous Japanese designers.
Alcohol and fashion.
My favorite combination.
Well, it sounds divine.
I feel centered just thinking about it.
To a new calm and detached way of life.
Yes.
And anything that is thrown at me in Castlebury will just wash past me.
What are you doing here? She's not home.
I'm actually here to see you.
I need your help with Carrie.
Welcome to Youshiki, everyone.
Ohh.
Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in all your life? Who knew a simple gardenia could teach us so much? Just makes you want to detach from the clutter and embrace the calm.
I was transfixed.
It was so simple, so effortlessly beautiful and tranquil, just like I wanted my life to be.
She's finding her Zen.
I'm gonna find some sake.
I can't believe it's my last day here.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna mi you, too.
And New York.
But mostly me, right? Yes.
It's been a really fun summer hanging out.
It's gonna be hard to go back to Castlebury.
You mean to being back in the closet? How am I gonna do this? I mean, I can't come out yet.
I'm not ready to tell my parents.
I definitely hear ya.
And in school it's way too risky.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
There was this kid named Jim Hansen wasn't even gay.
He just liked theater and was always singing "Pippin" they beat the crap out of him.
Okay, I'm not so sure that kid wasn't gay.
But, yes, you must be careful.
Whoa.
Is that a Ninja? It is.
Yeah, I always wanted to be a Ninja when I was a kid.
Why? So you could be really quiet and throw daggers at people when they aren't looking? Mostly so I could slip in and out of places without being seen.
Amen.
Maybe that's every closeted kid's dream.
It's certainly mine.
Then do it.
Get in and out of that school without getting punched.
Yeah.
I like that goal.
And if you're ever feeling alone or scared about any of it, I want you to call me.
Anytime.
Thanks.
I'll be fine as long as I fly under the radar, with no hoopla.
What in the hell is this place?! Ugh.
The bridge and tunnel crowd are infesting everywhere.
What is that loud banshee doing here? Carrie! Carrie! I invited her.
That's my friend Samantha.
We'll come we'll come over there, okay?! Stay there! We'll come over there! Okay? Oh, look who it is.
It's been too long.
Yeah, or not long enough.
Just keep driving, Simon.
This little move of yours doesn't usually work out so good for me.
What are you talking about? Why don't you just go home to your fiancée? Don't be that way.
I just miss us hanging out.
I wanna catch up.
Sorry.
I'm headed somewhere.
Where's somewhere? I'll give you a lift.
The library's just around the corner.
The library? What do you need with a library? I'm working on my college applications.
Ugh.
That sounds like a lot of work.
Besides, what do you need college for? So I can get out of this sorry little town, Simon.
Come on.
Some things in this town aren't so bad.
We both know you don't want to work on those applications.
Fine, but it has nothing to do with you.
I'm just procrastinating.
So what do I wear to one of these charity balls thingies? Is it dressy? Um Yes.
Yeah, you should wear a dress.
Long one? Short one? I don't know.
You gotta find out.
I-I can't wear the wrong thing.
That I know.
Okay, okay.
I will call Harlan's secretary Barbara and, uh, find out.
I don't want to talk to him directly.
You afraid he's gonna ask for more money? I'm afraid he's gonna hassle me about the offer.
What offer? Did he offer to take us in his limo? He wants me to come back to work at the firm.
Hey, that's great.
- Are you considering it? - No.
- No.
- Why not? Because I'm just not sure that that's my world anymore, and I like the practice that I've built here, and my girls need me, so Is that why you're always complaining about how boring your caseload is? I do not do that.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, I'm sorry, but I don't care if Mr.
Etheridge's property line may extend by 5 feet at the side.
- I - Exactly.
- But the girls - Are doing great, and probably don't want you hanging around all the time, checking up on them.
Did you like the work? It was exciting.
I loved closing a deal.
I mean, the rush So maybe you should think about it.
I'm sure you can find that guy in you again.
Maybe.
I'm trying to imagine you as some hotshot killer lawyer.
I was a badass.
Really? Mm-hmm.
That'll be $5.
75.
Sebastian.
What a nice surprise.
I love surprises, don't you? Yeah, sure, Mrs.
Donovan.
Please, it's Vicky.
And I wish you'd give me those golf lessons I've been asking you for.
I've told you, Mrs.
Donovan, I'm not much of a golfer.
But I'm sure they have a pro at the club.
But you seem like such a natural.
I've seen you on the green.
You got great hands.
Thank you, but my answer's still no.
I'm just looking for something fun, light, no strings attached 'cause I'm already attached.
That's just not really my thing.
Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Have a good afternoon, Mrs.
Donovan.
It's Vicky.
These designs are the chicest of the chic.
Stylish, innovative, every one a work of art.
Oh.
And now for our dear Carrie What a sight to behold.
The simple lines, the calming texture.
Issey Miyake plus Carrie Bradshaw equals Zen, if ever I saw it.
You think so? You would rock the halls of Castlebury in that, Carrie.
As in, "This is a Miyake, so don't try and stop me.
" You want her to wear pajamas to school? Excuse me? I think my mother wore something like that when she burnt our trailer down with her cigarette.
It's avant-garde couture.
It's ridiculous.
No man wants to see a woman in that.
Oh, no self-respecting woman dresses for men.
Women dress for other women.
Or gay men.
Case in point You boys like it, right? No wonder none of you get laid.
In an outfit like that, no one would wanna have sex with you.
Oh, you're so wrong.
The right type of man would absolutely wanna have sex with a woman in this.
Well, if by the "Right man" you mean a gay man, he would only wanna make love to the outfit, not you.
How much is this? Why did I ever think these two would get along? - This is going - Exactly as I expected.
- They hate each other.
- $800?! I could buy a house for that.
Mm, one of those trailers you like so much? Well, at least I'm being me and not some pretentious poseur.
Ugh, you have no room to speak, especially considering you look like a tired old slag.
This is a beautiful creation, and it is perfect for Carrie.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
I'm sorry.
Are you threatening to sock me? Because you don't wanna mess with me.
- No.
No, I don't wanna mess with you.
- This is not good.
- I want you - Here's what's going to happen.
Larissa's head is going to pop off.
Samantha is going to break something incredibly expensive.
We're all gonna get kicked out of here, and my job at "Interview" will be over.
I need to get in there and defuse this now.
Well, hold on a minute.
What about being Zen? You actually have to stay detached.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
- Um, I just need to stay calm.
- Right.
- Stay calm.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Think of that gardenia.
Yeah.
Why is it so quiet? Did they kill each other? Who's behind that sexy mask? Whoa! He looks acrobatic.
Carrie, dear, look.
This Yamamoto is even more sublime than the Miyake.
That was beautiful.
See? The problem fixed itself.
Wow.
Maybe this Zen thing really does work.
Totally.
And if you were able to detach and let go of that, imagine what you're gonna be able to do once you're faced with Sebastian.
I think I'm gonna need my own mantra.
It was the first day of school, and my goal was to remain Zen, calm, detached.
That was the key.
Dorrit! You've been in there for 20 minutes.
Some of us have to get ready for school, too.
Dorrit, I'm serious! This is incredibly selfish of you.
Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
Easy breezy.
Easy Can't you wait your turn? Oh, does my turn come at midnight? No.
Calm.
Calm.
Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
- Easy breezy.
Easy peasy.
- What in the world are you mumbling? Actually, I'm chanting.
This is my mantra.
It keeps me in a calm and detached state.
Well, maybe you and your detached state can stop screaming at the bathroom door.
You know what? You're absolutely right.
You just take your time in there.
I was way too attached to the clock and the time.
Well, you should be.
You're gonna be late for school.
Really, no hurry.
You go ahead.
I'm just gonna be here in the moment.
Okay, freak, where exactly is this coming from? I've turned a new leaf.
I'm Zen.
Everything just washes past me, including people calling me "Freak" Super freak.
Again, totally calm.
All is well with the world.
In fact, I'm really excited we're finally going to the same school together.
Ugh, please.
What? It's a big deal.
The Bradshaw girls in the same hallowed high school halls.
Whatever.
It's just school.
No, it's more than that for us.
It's important.
And if you ever need anything, you know, maybe some sisterly advice or any help with anything at all, I'm happy to help.
Oh, that actually sounds good.
So you'd help me out with anything I needed at school? Without question? Like if something came up? Yeah.
I'm here for you, Dorrit.
Good.
And as I was preparing to be Zen for my first day of school and becoming surprisingly closer to my sister, Samantha was waking up to a surprise of her own.
Hey.
Where are you going? I guess I fell asleep after we had sex last night.
Certainly didn't mean to be here in the morning.
What's wrong with that? I wanted to wake up with you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, I know you liked me in the mask, but I gotta take it off.
It's too hot.
No, no, no! It's so much hotter with it on! Don't do that! Now you've ruined everything.
Where's the mystery? There's no mystery.
Name's Paul Cunningham.
Iowa state gymnastics team.
Came to New York to be an actor.
It's getting worse.
Stop talking.
- Just stop talking.
- Wait, wait.
Why are you leaving? Don't you wanna get to know me? Maybe let me take you out? No.
Don't.
Really.
I gotta get out of here.
No! Shoo, Ninja! Shoo! Hey.
To what do I owe the surprise visit? Did you dump Deb? You looking for a bimbo for the ball? 'Cause I've got some options.
That's still a big "No.
" No.
I wanted to talk to you about your offer.
Ohh! Tom, that is great news! I knew you'd come around.
All right, now before you get too excited, I should warn you this won't come cheap.
Like I said, I have a job that I find extremely rewarding.
My girls are constantly around and need my attention.
So you're gonna have to swing hard if you really want me to work here.
I hear you loud and clear, Tommy.
You are a tough negotiator, Tom Bradshaw.
And that is exactly why I want you here.
Congratulations.
Mm.
You know, you could've asked for about 10% more.
Oh, I know.
No, I, uh, am agreeing to work for less because I have a few deal points that are non-negotiable.
Oh.
And what if I say no to them? Well, then I'll walk away, no problem.
Okay, what do you got? I wanna make my own hours.
I don't want one word if I ever have to drop everything to be with the kids, and I wanna be home for dinner at least three nights a week, no questions asked.
Oh, and, uh, I also want season tickets to the Rangers.
Box seats.
Done.
Good.
I hope you're not ruining those girls.
What, by focusing on them? Exactly.
They'll be totally screwed up with crazy expectations about men.
Ruined for life.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hey.
What are you in a sports Jersey? Oh, it's like my straight armor.
It's my way to be a Ninja.
Oh.
That's a good idea.
It was mine.
So you ready for our first day of senior year? Sure.
You don't sound too happy about it.
No.
I'm I'm good.
- I'm practicing remaining calm, detached.
- Oh.
Ahh.
How am I doing? Totally Zen.
Carrie, can we talk? Whoa! You're actually talking to me? I figured you'd just ignore me the whole year.
Normally, I would, but I need your help.
I'm in Mr.
O'Neal's English class.
Oh, he's the worst.
And his breath I know.
I really wanted Mr.
London.
I wouldn't normally put you out like this, but you're easily one of Mr.
London's favorite students, and maybe if you talked to him It's true.
I am his favorite.
I'm all over this.
Bye, guys.
Maggie! Happy first day! Oh.
Yeah, I guess.
Hey.
So how are things going with the college applications? Oh, they're fine.
It's fine.
Hey, what schools are you applying to? Don't even try it, Walt.
It's not gonna happen! God, I hope she doesn't out me.
She won't.
Don't let her get you down.
Just try and focus on the good stuff Like how your Jersey is working like a charm.
Check out Reynolds the Jets fan.
What, the Pats aren't good enough for you, Reynolds? Uh, I really like the Pats.
I mean, those are two great guys.
What? "Pats" are short for "Patriots," a team.
I have to stop talking and get out of here.
And fast.
Bye, guys! One thing you need to know is that Mr.
London is tough, but he's fair.
He just wants you to I lied.
Sorry.
What's happening? You have some nerve, standing there with your sparkly bedroom eyes and your cute floppy hair.
Do you have a problem with my eyes? Yes.
They're too sparkly and inscrutable.
They're just annoying.
Are they bothering you? I just said they were.
Everything about you is bothering me.
Oh, is it? You are not gonna get to me.
I am calm, detached.
I'm totally Zen.
I feel nothing for you.
Nothing, huh? Nothing.
Excuse me! Oh! What exactly is going on here? Um I can explain.
That was a rhetorical question, Carrie.
You do remember what "rhetorical" means from my class, don't you? Listen, just this wasn't her fault.
I'm you can explain it all to the principal.
Oh! I am so sorry, Mr.
London.
How are those college applications going, Maggie? Um, they're not going.
It's too hard filling out those forms.
Yes.
Using a pen is challenging.
Look, the stupid forms are confusing, okay? There's too many questions.
Like "What is your name?" and "What's your birth date?" It's a waste of time.
It's not like I have some awesome future waiting for me.
Well, you won't havene at all if you don't try.
I can't believe I put more effort and work into this than you.
Wow.
Don't waste your time on me.
Nobody asked you to.
You know what, Maggie? The reason people get so fed up with you is because you won't take any responsibility for yourself.
What, like how Walt made a fool of me? Do you have any idea what this is like for Walt? Trying to figure out who he is while making sure no one else here does? He is wearing a sports jersey, for God sakes.
Take a look around.
People are going through stuff.
Hey.
English lady.
What are you doing here? No takers at your usual corner today? Mm.
I just came to see Carrie.
Carrie isn't here.
She's off at that place with all the lockers and the bells and the people running about.
A train station? No.
High school.
But I wouldn't put it past you not to be familiar.
I forgot Carrie went to school.
Got so used to seeing her every day.
I actually used to come visit her here during the summer.
I sat right there, on your desk.
Why does it not surprise me that a tawdry wannabe like you would try and get in the good graces of someone who works at "Interview"? You've got to be kidding.
I could give a rat's ass about your magazine.
I've never even read it.
Besides, everyone here looks like they're straight out of the circus.
Why did you come here? And why are you still here? I just wanted to tell Carrie about my Ninja adventure.
I slept with that guy from Youshi whatever, and now he's wanting to take me out.
So lame.
Can you believe it? Hmm, that someone would like to get to know you? Yes, that does sound dubious.
Please.
You have idea who I am.
Oh, don't I? Let's see.
You pretend to be above the idea of commitment, thinking you are so much better than all those men you sleep with.
But the truth is, you're just afraid to connect.
You are scared to death of being left out in the dust by some guy who realizes you're just a loud hillbilly with zero future.
That couldn't be further from the truth.
I'm not afraid of commitment.
In fact, I came here to get that address of that Festival from Carrie, so I could go see my Ninja boy.
I just couldn't remember where it was at.
You just Here you go.
Thanks, honey.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Sake, waketake, sock-it-to-me.
Hey, look who it is.
Reynolds the Jets fan.
I'm not really that big a fan.
You saying you don't love football? No, no! I-it's just You'll have to talk shop later, boys.
I'm gonna take Walt now.
How's it going? Are you doing okay? I guess.
I've just never been called "Reynolds" so much in my life.
Please tell me you're not trying to talk sports with the jocks.
Well are you trying to get yourself killed? I Mmm.
What are you doing? Just stick with me.
I'm the only one equipped to keep you under the gaydar.
Gaydar? Yeah, I just made it up.
Mmm! I'm not so sure that'll stick.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
See? Now no one will think you're gay.
But aren't you dating one of those guys? - Oops.
- Oops? Uh oh! What are you doing with my girl, Reynolds? Do you realize I've never been sent to the principal's office in all my 12 years of school? And here I am, before lunch on my first day of my senior year.
If I get suspended and lose my internship over this, I'm holding you responsible.
You kissed me.
I just wanted to talk.
Oh, so it's my fault? I'm not taking all the blame here, buddy.
How you can just sit there all calm and cool like always is beyond me.
I'm not calm.
Being without you is ripping me to shreds.
Oh.
How did we get here? All I wanted was to be Zen, like the gardenia.
The flower? I saw this beautiful gardenia in the city, floating in a glass box.
It was so simple and clean, and it smelled so good.
I just wanted that to be me.
That is you.
No, it's not.
No.
With you, I'm just a jumbled mess of pain and emotions.
Any time we're together, it's chaos.
Nothing about us is simple.
I'll never be the gardenia.
Never.
Lucky for you, I'm not suspended.
Not that afterschool detention all next week is much better.
I'm not the one who was tearing off her clothes in a classroom.
You heard? Dorrit, why did you even help Sebastian like that? Because he really likes you.
And it's super annoying watching you mope around all the time because of him.
Well, that wasn't your call to make.
You know, for the less screwed-up sister, you sure are a mess.
I have a lot going on.
In your head.
Get out of it and just go after what you want.
That's what I do.
The trouble is, I've been thinking so much, I don't know what I want anymore.
Excuse me, Ninja? Ninja boy.
So here's the thing.
I know I was pretty awful to you this morning and pretty much ran out on you.
And at the time, I thought that was a good thing.
But I've been doing some thinking, and This isn't the easiest thing for me to say, but Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we saw more of each other.
After all, the sex was fantastic.
And if you'd keep the mask on from time to time and maybe put me up in your place when I need somewhere to crash, I don't see why we couldn't get to know each other a little.
So yeah.
What do you say? I not sure I understand.
Oh.
Not who I was expecting.
Sorry? I not speak English.
Well, then, I think this conversation went great.
I'm glad everything worked out so well.
Yeah.
Human resources got you all squared away? Oh, it'll be such a relief to have somebody else doing the billing for me.
Well, it'll be nice to have you around.
From one Bradshaw to another.
You are following in your daughter's footsteps.
With a corner office and season tickets to the Rangers.
Ohh, I'm really looking forward to those Rangers tickets.
I guess I'm gonna need a few more Armani power ties, huh? Yes, you will.
Barracudas only wear Armani.
I'm a barracuda again.
Well, I just, uh, I need to grab my briefcase, - and then I'll be on my way.
- Yeah.
I'm so glad you came back.
Mmm.
Do you want me to talk dirty Japanese to you? Oh, yeah! Please talk dirty.
Huh? Do you? Yeah.
Dirty Japanese.
Mmm! Ohh! I love dirty Japanese.
I I didn't realize that they were still Dating.
Yeah.
They can't seem to let go of each other.
- My jacket is still in there.
- Leave it.
I'll I'll have it dry cleaned.
Or incinerated.
Um, Walt, c-can we talk? You've caused enough trouble for Walt.
Turn around and walk away, and no one gets hurt.
Uh, not that it's any of your business, but I came here to apologize.
Oh.
Oh, then by all means, take a seat.
Privately.
It's okay.
I'll be fine.
I think I can take her.
All right, well, I'll be right over there, talking to the new wrestling captain, if you need me.
I don't trust this one.
You've got quite a shiner.
Yeah.
I kinda can't feel the left side of my face.
I couldn't believe that guy hit you.
Believe it.
Did he do it 'cause you're, um, - you know - gay? No.
He thought Donna and I were fooling around, and he was jealous.
It's funny.
I was so worried about getting beat up or harassed for being gay, and instead I get pounded for trying to act straight.
You know, I-I'm sorry, Walt, for everything.
I didn't really think about how difficult this must be for you.
I felt so bad that you didn't love me, and I let it get in the way.
Maggie, I do love you.
I know.
Just not in that way.
But that has nothing to do with you.
You have to stop thinking of yourself as unworthy.
You deserve to have someone that loves you, someone really great who you can have a future with.
Thanks for that.
You're a good friend.
You deserve that, too.
I'm sure this year is not going to be easy.
But there's only So I'm pretty sure I can make it.
Well, I'll help where I can.
They say a clear desk creates a clear mind, but mine was still a jumble.
What I needed was a sign telling me what to do.
Oh.
Hi.
And there it was my sign.
I'm really glad you're here.
Um, there's something I wanted to tell you.
Um, actually, I'd like to say something first, if that's okay.
Okay.
I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything.
I'm sorry I got you in trouble today.
I'm sorry for what happened with Maggie.
I'm sorry for ruining your trust.
I'm sorry for everything I ever put you through.
Thank you.
All I do is make things crazy for you, and I want things to be simpler for you, like that flower you were talking about.
The gardenia.
I don't want to stand in your way anymore, Carrie.
So I'm gonna let you go.
And I won't keep fighting you.
I know it's over.
Okay.
I'm sure I'll see you around.
For a brief second, I thought about fighting for him.
But then, in a moment of clarity, I knew he was right.
Maybe our present did not include each other, and we had to let go.
Detach.
Hey.
I got a half an hour.
Wanna go for a ride? Wow.
Whole half-hour? If I remember, you only need What's wrong with you? - You're engaged.
- Never stopped you before.
Yeah, well Maybe I've decided that I deserve better.
Well, so are we go do this or what? I don't think so.
No.
Are you serious? Way more serious than you ever took me, Simon.
I think I would rather spend my time with someone who actually thinks I deserve a future.
Whatever.
It's your loss.
Being Zen can mean many things, like finding a calm within yourself.
It can also be about living in the moment, not worrying about the future.
So what changed your mind? Why'd you finally agree to get together? Feels like "No strings attached" might be just the game I'm looking for.
Well I'm really glad you decided to play.
We're gonna have a lot of fun.
How the strong get weak and the rich get poor slave to love oh, yeah Zen might also mean having the faith to know that if you're present, you can grow and make choices that are good for you and your future.
You're running with me don't touch the ground we're the restless hearted Ooh.
You have a secret admirer? Not the chained and bound Maybe.
I don't know.
The sky is burning Hope you like your gardenia, Carrie.
I couldn't resist.
Thank you.
I will be the same slave to love It's beautiful.
Slave to love ooh slave to love