The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s02e03 Episode Script

[grunts in effort]
[screams, grunts]
[snarls]
♪
[door squeaks]
[spray hisses]
- Oh!
[spray hisses]
[squeaks]
[screams]
[laughs triumphantly]
Yes! Your squeaking days are over, gate.
[screeches]
How? How are you still making noise?
[screeching, chattering]
[screeches]
Wait, that wasn't a squeak.
That was a screech.
A punch monkey screech.
The only thing I detest
more than a squeak is a screech.
Luckily, I fixed the squeaking.
[squeaks]
No.
[screeching]
No!
[squeaks]
No!
[punch monkey screeches]
[screaming] No-o-o!
[screeching]
Let's live wild, the world's our own ♪
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll ♪
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go ♪
Whoa-ho-ho ♪
Stuck together,
stuck, stuck together ♪
It's an evolution
for worse or for better ♪
To find some unity ♪
For all humanity ♪
Because we're stuck together ♪
In one big family tree ♪
[Eep grunts in effort]
- Hey, Guy, how much further
is this Inspiration Peak?
- We didn't come this far
to only come this far.
Also, boom! We're here.
Welcome to Inspiration Peak.
I come here
to think of inspirational speeches.
Inspiring, isn't it?
- Yeah. I'm inspired to eat.
Break out those berry cakes.
[punch monkeys screeching]
- Hey. Looks like the punch monkeys
are playing throw-go-nut.
EEP:
Whoa-ho-ho, I love throw-go-nut!
Got my best scars playing that game.
Uh, wait. Is that Phil?
What's he doing there?
[screeching continues]
- Listen up, punch monkeys.
Your caterwaul
of discordant screeches is insufferable.
Cease at once.
[screeches]
♪
Ohh. You're playing throw-go-nut?
[sighs] I used to play this game
as a child.
I suppose some jocular screeching
in the course of competition
is acceptable.
Very well.
From one throw-go-nutter
to another, carry on.
[grunts sharply]
Oh. How embarrassing.
To be fair, it's been quite some time
since I throw-go-nutted.
Not to worry.
I'll just give it a swift kick.
[grunts, groans]
- Whoa. Is Phil trying to play
throw-go-nut with them?
- Not with that arm. Or leg.
[laughs] Get it?
Because he's bad at throw-go-nut.
PHIL:
Whoa!
[grunting]
You're mocking me?
Stop laughing.
[slow motion laughter]
I am not a joke!
[Phil whimpers]
- Ouch. That was brutal.
- Yeah, you don't come back
from something like that.
- We should go check on him.
♪
[squeaks]
- No! Still squeaking!
- How'd it go with the gate, Phil?
Did you fix the squeak?
- [sniffles] I tried.
But it wasn't good enough.
I hate the gate!
- I've always said, gates are mean.
- Did Phil come by here?
- Yeah. But, uh,
if it's about the gate, I'd wait.
He's in a bad gate place.
- He's not upset about the gate.
He's upset about throw-go-nut.
- Wait, Phil's playing throw-go-nut?
Phil Betterman?
My husband? Father of Dawn?
- Yes. There's only one Phil.
- But I'm not sure
"playing" is the right word.
- Yeah. It was more like
he was falling off a cliff.
- Yeah. That sounds more like Phil.
He's a lot of things,
but athlete isn't one of them.
Phil, honey, toss me a papaynapple.
[grunts, sighs]
[grunts, screams]
He's always been sensitive about it.
- Well, maybe we can help him.
- Teach Phil to play throw-go-nut?
Why would we help Phil?
Name one thing that Phil has done for us.
- This farm? Our food? The tree house?
- And he made me this wearable chair.
Sitting has never been easier.
- I said name one thing.
- Dad, those punch monkeys
destroyed him. Just look at him.
melancholic music playing ♪
[crying]
- I am.
It's the most beautiful sight
these eyes have ever seen.
And he's getting what he deserves.
Phil makes fun of everyone.
[grunting]
- That would be easier
if you had opposable thumbs
instead of hooves.
[Grug clears throat]
Grug, if you spend any more time in there,
you and the toilet will become one.
A Gruglet, if you will.
- [inhales] Ah. Wow.
- You haven't done anything
to earn my ridicule today.
Yet you have it.
[grunts in frustration]
- Wait. In all of those examples,
Phil was making fun of you.
- Exactly.
- Look, Dad, Phil may be a jerk,
but he's our jerk.
- She's got a point.
- Honey, I like sad Phil.
He's too sad to make fun of me.
- And now he's got a point.
- Mom! We can't just let him suffer.
Are we the Croods or the Rudes?
- Ugh. Fine!
[crying]
EEP: Hey, Phil.
- Crying? I wasn't crying.
- We saw what happened
with the punch monkeys.
But you don't need them.
Because you can play throw-go-nut with us.
- [scoffs] I will never befoul myself
with such brutish frivolity again.
- Well, we tried.
- That's too bad.
Because you look like
a natural throw-go-nutter.
- I do? [sniffles]
Well, I suppose
my musculature is rather impressive.
- And you obviously have
a mind for strategy.
- True. I haven't lost a match
of Rock, Leaf, Sharper Rock
since I invented the game.
Rock, leaf, sharper rock, leaf.
I win.
- I wasn't even playing.
- And I bet you're fast.
- Fast as Grug eats. Only faster.
- Hey!
[Phil grunting]
- [groans] Meant to do that.
- All you need is a little coaching.
But, hey, if you're not interested,
maybe some other time.
- How about now?
[all grunting in effort]
[Gran yells]
[panting]
[Gran yells, groans]
[panting]
- Phil, you're playing throw-go-nut?
- No. I'm warming up my musculature.
And then I'm playing throw-go-nut.
- Oh. It's just I didn't think
throw-go-nut was your--
[Phil grunts]
Oh!
Look at you folding your body
the wrong way.
So bendy. [giggles]
- [grunts] Why are you giggling?
Have you been poisoned?
- No, I just never dreamed
you'd play a sport like this.
Or any sport.
- Well, the dream you never had
just came true.
- I guess so.
Are you hungry?
I'll make you some snacks.
Don't you go anywhere
because I'll be right back.
- Of course you will.
We live here together.
DAWN:
My dad's playing throw-go-nut again?
Are you sure that's a good idea?
- Absolutely. It's gonna be great.
You wanna play?
- Yes! Wait, I don't know how.
- Ah, it's easy.
There's throwing, catching, tackling.
You'll figure it out.
- Tackling?
- Okay, Phil, let's start with throwing.
- Just watch me.
You take the coconut
and you use your arm to throw it.
Not sure how to make that any simpler.
[grunts]
- Understood.
I won't let you down.
[grunts]
- Oh, come on.
- Uh, maybe we try kicking instead.
To kick, use the inside part of your foot.
[grunts]
- The inside. Yes, good tip.
[grunts sharply]
- [groans]
Of course he kicked me!
- There isn't much to tackling.
You just run towards someone and grab 'em.
Like this. Heads up, Guy-boy!
- What's that now?
[Eep grunts]
- Yes! I am so doing that.
- Your turn, Phil. Tackle Guy.
- Wha-- Me again?
GRUG:
Hold on. Let me get out of the way.
♪
[Phil yelling]
- Phil! Where are you going?
- Guy, I don't think he's coming back.
[yelling fades, intensifies]
I was wrong, he's coming back.
- Phil, I'm right here!
[yelling continues]
[groans]
- Ha! Not in my tree house.
[groans]
- This isn't working.
And when Phil wakes up,
he's gonna be worse than before.
- Yup. Well, this was a great idea, Eep.
Hey, who wants lunch? I'm starving.
- No lunch. We have to help Phil.
- How? He's terrible.
- Right.
But what if we make it so he isn't?
Dad, remember how you used to let me win
when we played Hide-and-Go-Eep?
- Uh, yes. Let you win.
That's-that's what happened.
Wait, wait, wait.
I am not letting Phil win.
- Come on, we'll just let him score once.
It's the right thing to do.
- She's right.
- No, it's not.
It's gonna bring back jerk Phil.
- He's right.
- Whose side are you on?
- I'm a mom. I'm on everyone's side.
♪
- Phil, you're on my team.
I'll also take Mom and Dawn and Thunk.
- Ready to play!
- You picked me first? What an honor.
- So I get Sandy, Guy, and Gran?
Ha! We're gonna destroy you.
Uh, by that I mean, uh, let's have fun.
♪
- And I'll kick things off
with an inspirational speech.
Because this is our time.
Our moment to--
- Enough yap! Shut it and nut it.
EEP:
Hut, hut. Hike.
[whimpers]
- What do I do with this?
- Run!
[grunts]
[all scream]
[panting]
[Eep grunts, sighs]
[panting]
[all grunt]
[whimpers, pants]
- Oh, no.
Slipped right past me.
- I did?
I mean, I did!
[squeals]
- [grunts]
Wow! You're as fast as Grug eats.
- That's right, but faster.
- Hey.
[both grant]
[yells]
[growls]
- Oh, uh, uh, I'm doing it.
I'm really doing it!
- He's doing it. He's really doing it!
Phil is a throw-go-nutter!
Woo-hoo!
[panting angrily]
- Dad, no!
- [Grug screams] Whoa!
- Not in my tree house.
- [pants] Huh?
[all cheering]
- You scored, Phil! How's it feel?
- I feel invincible!
[groans]
Invincible.
- He's so fast. And his name is Phil.
[gasps] You know what we should call him?
- Fast Phil?
- [laughs] What? No.
Not even close.
- Fast Phil. Huh.
Quick. Timely. Accurate.
Sold. Fast Phil, it is.
- Phil, you scored! You're a hero!
I've never loved you more.
- Aren't you glad you played with us?
- Played? I dominated you!
Whoo!
- Well, great work, everyone.
Jerk Phil is back.
I don't wanna say I told you so, but I--
- [grunts] And stay down!
Whoo!
I love tackling!
- And then I galloped toward the goal vine
like a mighty buck-steed.
Grug made a valiant effort to stop me
but came up short.
He "pulled a Grug," as I like to say.
- Ooh! Phil, do the spike for me again.
- Oh, no, I couldn't possibly--
All right, I'll do it!
- Mm!
[clears throat]
- Hey! That's my lunch.
- Not anymore it's not.
GRUG:
Mm. [humming]
Hey!
- Uh-ha-ha-ha-ha.
[grunts]
- Whoo!
Bana-nope!
- Why?
Ahh.
Hmm? Hmm.
[groans]
[Phil hums, grunts]
- How do ya like them
bounce berries, Grug?
[punch monkeys screeching]
- And now, to take care
of some unfinished monkey business.
[screeching]
♪
[grunting]
[grunting]
[screeches]
[Phil groans sharply]
Hmm.
Deal.
[screeches]
- Ooh. Nothing like a massage
after a game
to work out the throw-go-knots.
- [sighs] Yep.
But it was worth it.
Phil's back to his old self.
GRUG:
No. This is a new Phil.
And new Phil is the worst Phil
of all the Phils.
He keeps spiking my food.
I'm starving.
All I have left is this melon.
And it's all Phil's fault.
- He's right.
- No. Phil was broken.
We couldn't just leave him like that.
- She's right.
- You can't keep doing that.
- Yeah, you gotta pick a side.
- No, I don't.
Because, you know, mom.
[Phil clears throat]
[chomps, gulps]
- Listen up, scrubs,
your champion is speaking.
Our team is playing
a throw-go-nut match
against the punch monkeys.
Though, with a scoring ace like myself,
it won't be much of a match.
I mean, look how I manhandled Grug.
- Hey!
[whimpers]
I'm not playing with Phil again.
- Dad, he's awful.
If we don't help him,
the punch monkeys will roast him so hard,
he'll never recover.
- And that's bad? I love sad Phil.
- But Phil's one of us.
If we don't take care
of our own, who are we?
- Not the Croods, that's for sure.
- So you're on my side?
- For now. Tread lightly.
- Coconuts are very tricky.
- No, they're not. They're coconuts.
- We're in, Phil. Let's play nut.
- Of course you're in.
Because you like winning.
And with Fast Phil in the game,
victory is assured!
[grunts in annoyance]
♪
[chattering]
♪
[growling and screeching]
- Uh, where's Phil?
- Who cares? He's deadweight!
- Yeah, but we're doing this for him.
The least he could do is show up.
- He will. Because this is our time.
Our moment to--
peppy music playing ♪
- Where is that music coming from?
- And what's with all this steam?
- And why does everyone
keep interrupting my inspirational speech?
[sighs]
♪
- He built a farm with his bare hands.
And now he's building
a throw-go-nut dynasty.
Introducing a throw-go-nut legend,
your champion and mine,
Fast Phil Betterman!
[Phil yells, groans]
HOPE:
Try it now, Phil.
Fast Phil Betterman!
- Hello. Yes, it's Fast Phil--
[groans]
[whoops]
[Phil hums happily]
Okay, team, here's the plan.
Feed me the nut and I'll do the rest.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
- Let's just get this over with.
- Mwah. Mwah!
[screeching]
- Crood 32, Crood 32.
Hut, hut!
Phil, turn around.
- I knew that.
[gasps] I'm open! I'm open!
[screeches]
- Boom!
- Hey.
[screeches]
- Whoa.
- Have you met the twins?
Because they're right here.
- Crood 21. Hut, hut.
[panting]
[punch monkeys screeching]
[growls]
[Dawn grunts]
- Why aren't you giving me the nut?
I'm this team's only hope.
[screams, groans]
- Phil--
[chatters, screeches]
♪
[growls]
[grunts]
[Grug panting]
[yells]
[both grunt]
- I'll take it from here, nut-nothing.
Because if there's one thing
Fast Phil knows, it's--
[gasps] Monkeys!
[screams]
[chattering happily]
- I can't believe we're losing
to the punch monkeys.
- I can. You're all dragging me down.
I can't carry you all on my back.
Especially you, Mount Grug.
- [laughs] Mount Grug.
Ah, you nailed him again, Phil.
- Eep, how am I to score
if you can't get me the coconut?
And I don't even know
what Dawn is playing out there
but it's certainly not throw-go-nut.
[punch monkey screams]
[body thuds]
[punch monkey screeches]
In summation, you're all a disgrace.
The only one here who deserves
to be called a throw-go-nutter is me.
- You know what, Dad? You were right.
This was a bad idea.
- Yes. I told you so!
- For once, we agree.
I'd be better off playing by myself.
- Really? The only reason you scored on us
is 'cause we let you.
To make you feel better.
- You're just saying that
because you're jealous.
- Oh, am I? Prove it. Play without us.
- Good! I will!
Because I don't need any of you.
Fun's over, punch monkeys!
Prepare to be dominated!
[growling]
- Woo-hoo!
You don't need the Croods, honey.
You're invincible.
Yeah!
- Mwah!
[chatters]
[groans]
- Okay, maybe not invincible,
but you're still my hero!
- Are we sure
my dad doesn't need our help?
[groans]
- Oh, he needs it.
He just doesn't want it.
- You'll crush 'em this time, Phil!
- I'm not a coconut, I'm a man!
- I mean,
you'll crush 'em next time, dear.
As soon as they put you down.
[screeching]
You can still win, honey.
They're getting tired
from all the scoring.
And everybody loves a comeback.
[screeches]
[Phil groaning]
- Ugh.
- Time out. Time out!
- Hey, Not-So-Fast Phil.
Looks like you were right.
You didn't need us out there
to get slaughtered.
- Yes, your sarcasm is warranted.
It appears I may need you.
- May?
- Fine, I need you!
I'm terrible at throw-go-nut.
Always have been.
- Yup. That all checks out.
- When I was a child,
I was always the last one picked
and then you were all so kind to me
and let me score
and made me feel like a winner
but I got carried away
and challenged the punch monkeys to a game
and put the farm on the line
and now I'm gonna lose
and the punch monkeys
are gonna take our home
and we're gonna live in a bearacuda pit
and it's all my fault.
- Okay, wait, what did you say?
- It's all my fault?
- No, before that.
- When I was a child
I was always picked last?
- After that.
- I told the punch monkeys
they get the farm if I lose?
- Yup, that's the one.
- Mom is going to kill you.
- Not if she doesn't find out.
Isn't that right, Hope?
[screams] Hope! Hope.
[chuckles nervously] There you are.
Listening to every word I just said.
Wonderful.
- I don't know what's worse.
That you're losing our farm
or that you're terrible at throw-go-nut.
- Definitely the farm one.
- Win it back, Phil.
- I don't think I can.
- No. But we can.
- Yeah!
- Yes! The team is back together.
- You're not playing.
- Good call. Go, team.
[screeches]
♪
[panting]
[grunts]
[yells]
- Whoo!
[grunts]
[yells]
[both grunt]
[chattering]
[screeching]
[yelling]
[grunts]
[snarls]
- Woo-hoo!
- Good moving, everyone.
Ohh!
[laughs] Coconut.
- It's all tied up.
Next score wins.
- Say no more, Eep.
This is the fire that forges champions.
This is our time, our moment--
- No time for that now, Guy-boy.
So what's the call, Dad?
♪
- I can't believe I'm saying this but--
I think we should put Phil in.
ALL: What?
- No, Eep was right.
He's one of us.
And if we win, he deserves to win, too.
- And he needs this. Just look at him.
♪
[groans in disappointment]
- I'm proud of you, Dad.
- You're not gonna give him
the coconut, are you?
- And hand the farm over
to the punch monkeys?
No way. We need to win.
Hey, Phil!
- Who, me?
- Okay, here's the play.
Crood 46, triple split.
That means get open.
- And, once again,
I just want to thank you.
I've learned my lesson.
Because there's no Phil in team and I--
- No speeches, Phil.
♪
[growls]
[grunts]
[snarls]
- And, hike!
[all yell enthusiastically]
[screeching]
[both grunt]
[yells]
[screeches, screams]
[growling]
[grunts]
[screeching]
- Don't throw it to me.
I can't be trusted.
♪
[in slow motion] No-o-o!
I caught it? I caught it.
And I'm past the goal vine.
Which means we won.
We won!
[cheering]
[screeching angrily]
- [chuckles] You did it, Phil!
You won. You're my hero again.
And so bendy.
[Dawn yells]
- [chuckles] Yes!
ALL: [chanting]
Fast Phil! Fast Phil! Fast Phil!
- Thank you, all, for including me.
- You're one of us, Phil.
- And I gotta admit it,
that was a great catch.
- No, it wasn't.
It was the greatest catch of all time!
Whoo!
vocalizing ♪
♪
vocalizing continues ♪
Whoo!
Fast Phil rules!
GUY:
That's right, Phil.
Because this was our time.
Our moment to--
[yells]
[Guy groans]
- Whoo! You got Dawn-sized!
vocalizing ♪
closing theme playing ♪
♪