The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e03 Episode Script

1
Today will likely be
the coldest day so far this season.
I really don't want to go to work.
Maybe I'll just quit.
Will you write
"because it was cold" on your resignation?
-Perfect timing! Here honey, use this.
-What?
Wow! You knitted me a scarf?
Do you feel a bit warmer?
My heart feels so warm,
I'm not the least bit cold.
I could go to work
wearing just this scarf!
-No, you couldn't. You would be arrested.
-What's with this deep freeze?
It's freezing!
Getting all worked up
isn't going to make you warmer.
Today is definitely colder than usual.
Total understatement!
This is freak weather! It's an ice age!
That's why I have heat packs stuck
to my back today.
Stuck to your uniform.
Hurry up! The heater will be on
in the classroom. Let's go!
Okay.
Finally, we're here. It's so
not warm!
-What is this, a freezer?
-Hey, Shun.
Who the hell are you?
-It's me.
-Oh, Aren.
This absolutely sucks. Look at that.
What? You've got to be kidding me!
It's totally busted.
It's been blowing out cold air.
Then turn it off!
It's connected to the other classrooms,
so we can't turn it off.
We can't have a class like this!
I have the power of pyrokinesis,
so I'm not that cold.
But it seems that this environment
is harsh for normal people.
That air conditioner
was already broken yesterday.
It's so cold.
-You should go warm up by the heater.
-There's a heater?
Look, there's one right over there.
Sorry about earlier.
Oh, it's nice and warm.
-Heater?
-Hairo.
Kaido, isn't it a little cold today?
How about we do some squats?
-It will warm us up!
-I'm okay.
Really? I'm a little tired too.
I could use a break.
Hairo! Why are you quitting now?
-Don't quit!
-Keep going!
Thanks, everybody.
-Thank you, all.
-I doubt this heater will last long.
-Hey, Nendo, are those heat packs?
-What?
I'm begging you! Let me have one!
Okay.
I'll give you 100 yen. Give it to me!
I've got 150 yen!
-I'll give 200!
-Make that 300!
-I'll give you 350 yen!
-Really?
Our own private hell.
Stop! He's just kidding around.
-What?
-There are no heat packs.
I'm not really kidding around.
You idiot! If you stick on heat packs
in this kind of cold,
-it's bound to cause an uproar!
-What?
This is not our normal classroom.
Look over there.
Oh, what's going on? That's creepy!
It's the fate of those
who were unprepared for the cold.
Why don't they go home?
There's no use worrying about the others.
In this freezer of a classroom,
they won't even make it until school ends.
So why not just go home?
We definitely don't want
to waste any energy.
Just one heat pack makes
-all the difference.
-If it's that cold, go home early!
Maybe we should just cut class.
That's the first time you've ever said
something smart.
What kind of idiocy is that?
Are you mad?
I can't believe how stupid you are!
I can't believe it, you idiot!
-That's going a bit too far.
-Did you forget?
-Fifth period!
-What's that?
Our famous alumnus
and entertainer, Peanuts Ueda,
is coming to visit!
If we go home now,
-we won't be able to see him!
-Who?
-Mr. Peanuts Ueda!
-Is Peanuts Ueda coming today?
-I want to meet him.
-Is he that popular?
There's no way we're going home now!
No way!
I couldn't care less, so I'm going home.
-Okay, let's fight against this cold!
-Let's do it!
I'm wearing everything that I can!
-We're super prepared.
-Seek, and you shall find.
For sure. It's not cold at all.
You fools.
-This is totally different than before.
-Your back has got to be freezing.
-Those guys have the right idea!
-We should do that too!
In this way, Class 3 decided
to fight the cold
and overcome the cold classrooms.
However, there was one problem.
CRASH
No way!
What happened?
I couldn't see clearly
and ran into the window.
Well, I'm glad nobody got hurt.
What's wrong Aren?
The freezing air is blowing inside!
-Oh, my god!
-It's freezing!
-The wind hurts! It's actually snowing!
-This truly is freakish weather.
I want to do something,
but whatever I do will seem unnatural.
-What's going on?
-What?
Oh, my, what's with this freezing cold?
-Peanuts Ueda!
-Peanuts Ueda!
Everyone step away from the window.
That flying glass is dangerous.
-It's cold.
-Are you okay? Here, put this on.
Oh, but Mr. Ueda
Don't worry about it. It's up to us
older folks to look after the youngsters.
-The real-life Peanuts is such a nice guy!
-I'm not cold anymore.
Me neither.
I feel all warm inside,
so I'm not cold anymore!
-I'm not even cold at all!
-He has warmed us up!
That's not the reason you are so warm.
I created a heat membrane
over the broken window
and turned the wind into a warm breeze.
Looks like I did it
without anyone noticing.
Feeling all warm inside
after being inspired
by something some old guy said
is an emotion I simply don't understand.
With no further ado,
I give you Peanuts Ueda.
Hello, everyone! Good mornuts.
I achieved my dream
of becoming a famous person.
Just kidding!
-Nuts!
-That's worse than the weather.
Nuts!
Is Saiko absent today?
I hate to bother you, Saiki,
but could you take these worksheets
to Saiko's house?
-Me? Go to Saiko's house?
-You're going to Dubai.
Good grief. What a pain.
It might be fun
if I could use teleportation,
but that's out of the question
because I'm with these guys.
Unbelievable. Why do I have to help
that stuck-up nouveau riche kid?
He's a troublesome bastard.
If you're coming along,
you should deliver the worksheets.
Is it true that there's a good
ramen restaurant around here?
Hey! What the hell did you come along for?
Well, we're finally here.
Wow, would you take a look at that.
Now that's a rich person's house.
-It's huge!
-That is one huge Ramen shop!
What are you doing here?
Did you come to borrow some money?
You poor bastards.
-Saiko!
-You skipped school,
so we came here
to deliver these worksheets.
By the way, weren't you supposed
to be in Dubai?
I just flew back this afternoon
on my private jet.
I didn't hear anything
about you flying back!
Oh! This must be
the transfer student's house!
This house is awesome!
You should invite us in.
Normally I wouldn't let penniless trash
like them into my house,
but maybe I should make them see
just how amazing I am.
Okay, what the heck.
It's the only time you losers
will ever have contact with this world.
Awesome! The place you live in is awesome!
Now, do you appreciate
the difference in status?
-Really? It's really not all that great.
-What?
I mean, sure it's big,
but the parking garage
at the pachinko parlor
in our neighborhood is bigger.
After seeing that,
everything just seems rather small.
I win, little rich boy.
Actually, you lose.
Even this statue looks a bit cheap
when you look closely.
That's worth 100 million yen.
Oh, god! Really?
One hundred million, right. Got it.
That sounds about right.
About the same as the number
of bacteria on a toothbrush.
They say it's about 100 million.
Not much a big deal.
What kind of logic is that?
What an irritating guy.
Whatever. What about these other guys?
Holy
That one is so shocked
that he can't speak.
And the other one can only manage
to say "holy."
What's wrong? What's so "holy"?
Those!
Ah, those statues over there?
My father hired
French stonemasons to make
-Where's the power switch?
-What?
-They can move, can't they?
-What?
At first, you make us think
they are just normal statues.
And then when we walk by,
the boss attacks!
-What?
-Come on, show me how they move!
They don't move.
What the hell,
they're just normal statues?
You're disappointed?
He's the only one who's impressed.
-Let's go check out the inside.
-I've had about enough!
It's a pretty long walk to the lobby.
Must be tough to do every day.
Empathizing, are they?
This is too much. I'll show
you penniless worms the glory of wealth!
This guy is wretched.
Wow! The inside is incredible.
It's okay.
What's with these weird paintings
hanging everywhere?
These are expensive too, right?
Poor people like you don't understand
their value, so I'll tell you!
All of these furnishings together
are worth about 700 billion yen.
By the way,
that painting is worth 2,3 billion.
Bow down before me, you poor wretches!
Seven hundred billion yen?
Well, compared
to Funassyi's economic effect,
-it's not that big of a deal.
-What?
If you rearrange those paintings,
a secret door will appear,
-right?
-Oh, no.
-Something like this is 2,3 billion?
-Oh, my!
You can't just go around touching
whatever you want!
-You're a bit stingy, aren't you?
-"Stingy"?
You're calling me stingy?
Somehow, I feel a little sorry for him.
I'll give you all a little surprise.
I've had enough of this.
-Sir?
-Bring him in.
Do you idiots have pets?
Let me show you mine.
This is my pet, Hanatora.
Wow! It's a tiger!
There! That should get their attention.
It's about the same
as having a giant house cat.
It's totally different. It's a tiger!
I wonder if this tiger
is one of those man-eating tigers
that killed its trainer?
It's not like that at all!
Nice kitty.
Oh, now you're being submissive!
You've got a stinky breath.
You usually just growl at me.
Okay, next!
Look! I bought this diamond
at an auction for 3,5 billion.
Oh, what a beautiful marble.
Put it in the eye of the statue outside,
and a secret passageway opens up!
Okay, what about this?
This piece of art has even been
on display in museums!
-I've seen that somewhere.
-I saw it in England.
Did he pay money for that?
Okay, well, the world-famous artist
Oh, look at the time. We better get going.
Hey, wait a second.
We've overstayed our welcome.
Hey, let's go eat some ramen!
If you're hungry, my world-class chef
So pathetic.
I've never been so humiliated.
-Yes, sir.
-Next time,
I'll show you idiots something
that will leave you dumbfounded.
Don't worry, we're going to start
right where we left off last time.
Master Metori,
what on earth are you planning?
A FEW DAYS LATER
Rejoice, you penniless wretches,
I'm going to show you around my estate.
-Who the hell wants to see that shit?
-We were just there anyway.
-We can't be bothered with that today.
-Let's go home.
-Sorry, but participation is compulsory.
-What the
You poor bastards don't have
the right to refuse.
It will only take 30 minutes,
so get a move on!
That's how you invite classmates
to your house?
Wait, was there
an amusement park here before?
No, there wasn't! This is
Wow, crappy name.
You came here before. This is my house.
It's totally different!
Even you guys
remodel your rooms sometimes, right?
-This is the same thing.
-It's not the same at all.
You went this far just to impress us?
What kind of idiot are you?
An amusement park?
We're not kids, so that won't impress us.
Right, Shun?
He's totally excited!
Don't be fooled by his childish ploy!
You're just going to encourage him!
Childish? Give me a break.
I'm not into this at all!
My father passed away before I was born.
So nobody ever took me
to a place like this.
I finally have my chance to play.
Have as much fun as you like!
Yahoo!
Shall we go inside?
I can picture the surprise on your faces
the moment you walk inside.
Act disinterested, no matter what!
-Yes.
-I'm not interested so don't worry.
Fingerprint match. Opening gate.
Everyone inside!
What a cool futuristic entrance!
What happened to acting disinterested?
What's got you so excited?
Oh! What a cool door!
How about this cyber-feeling?
This is what you guys like, isn't it?
That door is overflowing
with cyber-feeling.
This cyber-feeling
Anyone would get excited by it.
It's so cool.
Fingerprint verification and everything
What a cyber-feeling!
What's cyber-feeling, anyway?
-What is this place?
-What is this place?
A video game arcade in your house!
From retro all the way
to the latest machines!
And they're set up so you can play
any of them for free!
That's not all.
There's a manga cafe over there!
From Naruto to Poseidon Gakuen,
a solid selection!
And what everyone's always wanted,
a free drink bar!
This totally feels like a secret base!
Pinball, darts, and a foosball game
you see in American movies!
And the exposed concrete is super cool!
What happened to acting disinterested?
-It cost tens of billions.
-There's a hammock!
This house has everything
a man could ever dream of!
I wonder if they can leave in 30 minutes?
Don't touch that!
-Don't be tempted!
-Sorry, I just
But it's hopeless.
Even I will be swept away
if I'm not careful.
Hey, you middling peasants!
Take a look at that garage over there!
Look at all those motorcycles!
Unreal. All my dream bikes in one place!
If you like, you can customize them.
I have all the tools right here.
-Wow, even the tools!
-Aren is completely lost.
In a situation like this,
I've got to stay strong.
What's that?
That statue from before.
I have to be resolute
to make it out of here.
There's no way I'm giving in
to temptation.
I give up! The statute is moving!
Sorry, but I can't be a part of this.
It's already been 30 minutes.
We have to get going.
Oh, watch your step over there!
That whole area is made out of sweets,
so be careful.
If we leave now,
he'll just invite us over again.
So for now, maybe I'll just pretend
to go along with it.
Even Saiki!
Shit, this is so fun,
we will never be able to leave!
There are more amazing things to see!
Afterwards, unable to contain
their growing excitement,
Kuboyasu and his friends
were overwhelmed with the entertainment
in Saiko's house and forgot the time.
Oh, no. Look what time it is!
Wow, that was fun.
Saiko's house is the best.
I completely forgot that this was a house.
Good grief, we can finally go home.
Now, you poor wretches
know just how amazing I am.
A completely different world
It's awesome! We can't compete.
You win for sure!
You went to all this trouble to show us
a good time, how could we not have fun?
"Went to all this trouble."
Now that I think about it,
why did I do all this
just to please these guys?
I used my time and money,
and even found out their interests.
I did it to make them
see how awesome I am.
What the heck was I thinking?
Thanks. Next time come over to my house.
Even the common people
have some pretty fun games.
Yes! We will take you
to the little candy store.
Next time, we will provide
the entertainment.
In the end,
these dummies just don't get it.
Is it the job of those at the top
to know about the lives of commoners?
Man, this guy has a comeback
for everything.
Wait a second. Where's Nendo?
This place is so big, maybe he got lost.
Now that you mention it,
I haven't seen him in a while.
Oh, hey there.
This is not fun at all.
There is a heavy snow advisory
for the Kanto region.
Right when I have to go to work.
Enough already!
Yes.
-I wonder when it's going to start.
-Yes.
Snow days were so fun when we were kids.
I don't like or dislike the snow
but it's about that time
Ku.
They are saying school is closed today.
Honey, your company called to say
you should stay home too.
Seriously?
Yes!
You're a little overexcited.
I'm thinking a day off school
might be good for me too
until this moment.
Apparently,
LET'S MAKE A SNOWMAN!
I hate snow after all.
Amazing!
Now, this is what I call freakish weather!
We have the day off school, right?
Let's make a snowman!
How did he know we had the day off?
Let's make a snowman! Open the door!
It's not even cold out here!
Sorry, I can't hang out.
Go home and study.
What? Hey, Saiki!
Good grief, those guys
are like elementary school kids.
They give me a headache.
Wait! My head
Stay with me Nendo!
Come on, wake up already!
Nendo!
Was that snowman supposed to be me?
Wait. That was a premonition!
I don't know what happened,
but if I leave them,
something bad will happen to Nendo.
Oh! That's amazing!
Good grief.
I ended up coming along anyway.
Okay! I'm going first!
This dummy doesn't even know
when he's in danger.
All right! I'm going next!
But I can only see fragments.
I don't know when and how
it ended up like that.
Oh, no.
It happened the second
I took my eyes off him.
Was there a ninja holding a knife
-hiding in the snow?
-Are you all right?
-Yes, I'm all right.
-Oh, he's not hurt.
But there was a dog turd where I fell.
-Oh, that's gross!
-That's not all right at all.
It'll be okay if I wash it off with snow.
This is different
from my premonition earlier.
If the future has changed
because of something
that I changed, it's okay.
But wait!
Hey! Little buddy, open your eyes!
Little buddy!
Now, it's Kaido that gets hurt.
Nendo was supposed to get hurt,
but the future changed and now it's Kaido.
Think about it. Just a little interference
by me changed the future.
Could it just be a matter of luck?
For example, ninjas could
attack indiscriminately from above.
Maybe their own actions
don't make any difference.
Hey! Don't just stand there,
give us a hand!
Make the top snowball for us!
Not a care in the world, those two.
That snow above the roof
looks like it could fall any second.
Could that be the cause of the accident?
If that's the case, I'll get rid of it.
-What?
-What?
Oh, that's amazing Saiki!
Did you make that yourself?
That one's bigger,
so let's put it on the bottom.
You really did a good job making that.
Okay, I wonder if that
eliminated the threat.
No, I still can't let my guard down.
Okay, let's put this one on top.
Oh! This is pretty heavy!
-Oh, you all right there, little buddy?
-It's too heavy!
No, he's not all right.
-Wait a second.
-Okay, here we go.
-Keeping an eye on them was a good idea.
-Here we go!
Wow! You placed it perfectly!
That's dangerous.
I'll have to eliminate the hazards.
What now?
Now we need branches for the hands.
Those are icicles.
It will be a disaster if those fall.
Maybe I should get rid of them
just in case.
Now if we just had some longer
and straighter ones
Oh, Saiki!
You've already found some good ones!
Let's use those!
Now, the snowman is complete!
Oh, isn't it beautiful?
I ended up hanging out with them
until the end.
Just this tiny effort
was enough to change the future.
But just to be extra sure,
I'm going to watch them all the way home.
Well, we already finished the snowman.
Next is you-know-what!
What are you talking about?
We're going to have to do you-know-what.
This is the perfect location
with this weather.
Ouch!
What happened?
On snow days.
You have to play
the snowy wilderness disaster game!
You can play dead next.
Leave it to me!
I even brought along some fake blood!
All right, let's continue.
Nendo! Stay with me, pal!
-Idiots. I'm going home.
-Wake up!
Nendo!
The 29th PK Academy graduation
will commence momentarily.
Today is our school's graduation ceremony.
I'm still in my second year, so actually,
the seniors are graduating.
To be honest, I couldn't care less.
These guys either.
WEEP
They must have friends that are seniors.
I only know Kongo.
The graduates will now enter the hall.
But I've been going
to this school for two years.
Surely, I'll recognize
a lot of the seniors.
Third year, class one.
I don't even recognize one person.
Who are these people?
I've never even seen them before.
Now, the conferment
of the graduation certificates.
-Third year student, Ryoko Aikawa.
-Yes.
-Takumi Aizawa.
-Yes.
-Hirasu Aka.
-Yes.
-Yuya Akutsu.
-Yes.
-Keiko Azumashi.
-Yes.
There sure are a lot of "A"s.
How many "A"s can there be in one class?
-Shigeyuki Watanabe.
-Yes.
In total, 32 people.
Just when I thought the "A"s would
never end, a Watanabe?
There wasn't even one more "A"?
Third year student, Shinichi Akanishi.
-Here.
-Oh, my!
Yumehara, you know that guy?
What? No, I don't know him at all.
That was a close one. So he's graduating?
Seems like Yumehara has
a senior friend too.
To say that I don't know him is a lie.
That was back when I first started school.
I don't want to hear about it.
When I first met you in the courtyard
with your good looks and beautiful hair.
Freshmen are so naive.
I fell in love at first sight.
You're still in love with him.
And then after that,
I wanted to know more about you,
so I started following you around
and collected the things
you threw in the trash.
Without a doubt, you were a stalker.
It paid off because we started dating.
It ended after only one month,
but a lot happened in that month.
Can you lend me some cash?
Yumehara, how much cash
do you have on you?
Not a lot happened.
You were just lending him money.
-Congratulations on graduating.
-There's definitely no need for tears.
And now for the farewell address,
junior representative, Shun Kaido.
You?
Congratulations to all the seniors
on their graduation.
On a personal note,
I would like to take this opportunity
to thank a senior who helped
me out a great deal.
Third year, Class 4, Nobuaki Mineo
I mean, Alphonse Calcifer Raiden!
Who the heck is that?
I can't forget the first time I met Raiden
at the new student's ceremony.
I got lost on campus.
And then
Hey, you!
You've got eyes like mine.
The eyes of a lone wolf
who doesn't follow the pack.
I ran into Raiden.
After that, Raiden taught me
a number of things.
Like the fact that
he was from another world.
And that there is a demon
sealed inside his right arm.
All the conspiracies and hidden realities
of this other world
Was that Raiden or you?
Raiden and I lost touch
after he became a senior.
But those are still fond memories.
He outgrew that stuff.
Senior Alphonse Calcifer Raiden.
I will never forget
everything you taught me.
I bet Raiden wants you to forget.
The inspiration for Kaido's characters
was actually a senior.
And now the representative
for the graduating class, Tsuyoshi Kongo.
Finally, a name I know
-What? Who are you?
-Yes!
On this beautiful day
when we can feel the coming of Spring
Isn't that same guy who punched
a teacher in the head?
Did he fall into the woodcutter's pond?
It seems like it went by so fast,
but it was a terrific three years.
When I came to this school,
I was miserable with a callous heart.
But thanks to the superb guidance
of the teachers here,
-I have been accepted to Tokyo University.
-You have?
I promise that we will do our best
in our respective fields of endeavor
and always being proud
to call PK Academy our alma mater.
Graduate Representative, Tsuyoshi Kongo.
APPLAUSE
What is with this uproar?
Everyone has overactive tear ducts.
Okay, let's all wish the seniors luck
and sing with all we've got!
With antennas up,
We go to school
Again today in Hidariwakibara
-What kind of school song is this?
-The new spring leaves are green
Again tomorrow we go in our uniforms
Disasters at PK Academy
We overcome with mysterious power
This marks the end
of the graduation ceremony.
Ooh, PK, PK
-Good grief. The new semester starts.
-Our everlasting school
-All right, let's do our best today.
-Our everlasting youth
YEAR 2 - CLASS 3
NEXT TIME
We've made it this far. What did you think
of the PK Academy school song debut?
You don't need to make
any effort to remember it.
Next time, we'll have some new students.
It's springtime.
And the corpse of a Tsuchinoko is amazing.
Subtitle Translation by Brendan Laney