The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

1 Aha! Thanks for agreeing to meet me.
We didn't.
We were already here, and you just sat down at our table.
Get to it, Krupp.
You're despoiling our cupcake break.
Well, current and future Melvin, I'm here to ask for my job back.
You've got until I finish this leaning tower of sweetsa.
Oh! Okay.
Uh, so, hi.
Right? Um Wow, why am I so nervous? Anyway, I like having a job.
I mean, I hate kids.
Right? But no.
Yeah, it's not Scratch that.
Why can't I stop laughing, right? Or sweating? What's happening to me? Anyway, no, I'm seeing squiggly lines.
I am so sorry.
Let me clean that up.
Okay, now it's on your face.
That's that.
So, I'm thinking we got a deal? - What? - Yes.
- You're hired.
- Yeah, what? But I Go before I change my mind.
Why would you rehire him? Turns out being principal involves a lot of busywork.
If he's doing that, we can focus on Melvinizing the school to get you into Eliteanati Academy.
And I've got a beautiful plan.
- Why did you emphasize the "B"? - Because What? Something on my face? So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! But they had a mean, old principal Who told them what to - Blah, blah, blah, blah - So they got a hypno-ring And first, they made him dance Then, accidentally, kinda, on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're back where you began - Blah, blah, blah Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la! "The Harmful Horrors of the Harrowing Hive School.
" This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that now.
- "Welcome back to school, Mr.
Krupp.
" - You know what that means? When Krupp was the man Our school was pretty bad School was pretty bad School was pretty bad Then the Melvins took charge Made it worse than plaid Worse than plaid We had to pay attention And learn some science junk Science junk It was mad hard, yo And we were gonna flunk We were gonna flunk Now Krupp's coming back And he's gonna bring the bad Bring the bad, bring the bad And bad's still better Than the worst we ever had Worst we ever had, worst we ever had And that's still better Than the worst we ever had - I really miss just getting by.
- Yeah.
Can't wait to coast again.
We gotta change that sign.
Did you ever think we'd be happy to see Krupp? - Bee! - Bee! Anything's better than the Melvins.
Ah! Seriously, what's with the bees? It flew it my mouth.
They're everywhere.
Run for it! Wait! - "Welcome back, Mr.
Poop.
" - The bad old days are back.
Chapter one: Honey, I'm Drone! Krupp's back! Ow! Fruit cocktail.
Krupp's back, baby.
- You were gone? - What? Yes.
And you missed me.
- That's right.
It's good to be the king.
- You're not the king.
I am.
Now vacate my lap, you fool.
- Ah! But my chair I thought - That I gave you my job? No, you're the vice principal now.
Vah.
.
vah Vah Vah mm Vice So where's my office? Offices are for the principal.
Oh.
Do I still get a key to the executive restroom? - No.
Only principals.
- So why do you have one? We're the same person.
- Oh.
Okay.
Fancy steak lunch? - Principals.
Rock star parking lot? - Depends.
Are you principal? - No.
Then there's your answer.
Okay.
So, what do I do now? Whatever I say.
Jellybean? No! Clean up those jellybeans.
I pledge allegiance to the Melvin of the Sneedly clan of Piqua.
And to the school, over which he rules, one genius, indisputable, - with loyalty and obedience to him.
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
No! Behold, the Bee-N-A-in-you 2000.
- Sounds like something I would build.
- You did.
- Oh, right.
Good job, me.
- Next slide.
We will use it to inject the entire teaching staff with bee DNA, creating a singular hive mind.
The teachers will become "beechers.
" A little cute, but go on.
In a hive mind, one mind controls them all.
The all powerful queen bee.
Normally, yes, but we have no queen bee, so they will obey me, the king bee.
Behold! Do I say "behold" as much as you do? Yes.
Behold, the Free-To-Be-Bee 2000.
When the beechers hear this sound, I will control that singular hive mind and transfer my superior intellect to all the beechers instantly, making their minds intellectual and capable of teaching your mind.
Sounds complicated.
That's what makes it intellectual.
Why don't we try robots again? Why? Behold! Okay, I don't say it that much.
And if you wanna learn How the system takes shape Watch Bur-rock-racy with R.
Ed Tape Whoo Superintendent Grace Wain Made a declaration Robot teachers are a school zone violation Wanna use a robot? Here's the situation You got to submit A robot permit application Enough! I get it.
All right, class, your spelling test.
The first word is Sorry, couldn't hear that.
Maybe you should listen instead of goofing around and amounting to nothing with your idiotic shenanigans Yep, back to normal.
Normal, except that the Melvins were about to inject Ms.
Ribble with bee DNA.
In a Saturday detention on Wednesday with your teeth.
On Wednesday! Vienna sausages.
It's jammed.
Just let me do it.
The first word is Ow! "Ow"? You don't know what you're doing.
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Dude, she's repeating the same word.
We're so acing this test.
Ow! Oops! We're out of darts.
That much bee DNA in one person won't be a problem, right? Unfortunately, it will.
That much DNA will turn Ms.
Ribble into a queen bee and probably wreck their plan.
Perhaps.
But I'm going to ignore it.
Let's get the other teachers.
That's everyone.
You get to class.
Time for me to be king.
Don't choke.
They're watching.
- Wow, just like he used to be.
- Just like the pretty good old days.
Enjoy it while you can.
Attention, teachers.
I am in control.
Your brains are no longer your own.
Well, the second derivative with respect I thought Krupp was back in charge? Divided by the wave particle duality are significant The SchrÃdinger equation.
About time.
I guess the Bee-NA's working.
Oh, man.
This isn't pretty good.
This is actually pretty bad.
Which is worse than bad.
But I'm sure Krupp's gonna turn it around.
- Ugh! - Did you call me? No.
Did you see my mouth move? No.
So it was ventriloquism.
You know I gave that up.
And stop staring at me.
That's better.
What part of "clean up those jellybeans" was unclear? - Did you call me? - Oh, for the love of smoked oysters, no! H is the Hamiltonian function which is an operation set describing all the interactions This is mathemagical.
Or the total energy of a system or particle.
It may look like Ms.
Ribble is just wiggling her butt, but she's actually communicating like a bee.
Let's listen in.
We're bees.
Follow me.
We're bees.
Yes, sir-ee.
Did Ms.
Ribble just come in and wiggle her butt? Class, draw hexagons.
That's not part of the plan.
What about the math? Would you accept a circle? No.
Hexagons.
I drew myself.
Check out my "hairrrrr".
Sophie One, enjoy it.
Other Sophie, frame it.
No.
Hexagons.
- What's a hexagon? - Yeah.
Is it like a circle? Hexagons! En-yeah-yeah-yeah-garde.
Fencing, the true sport of kings.
Besides jousting, falconry, polo and several more.
We're bees.
Fly this way.
- Again with the butt wiggle.
- Yeah.
But why? We're bees.
I'll do yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah whatever you say.
Fencing lesson's over.
Time to fly like yeah-yeah-yeah bees.
Uh, sid he say "fly"? No! I was about to parry-parry riposte.
Chapter two: Put your honey where your mouth is.
Wait.
Our lunch is honey with a side of honey dipped in honey? I mean, I like honey, but come on.
Bee meeting outzide.
It'z mandatory.
Look, another butt wiggle.
Time for us to get to the bottom of that bottom.
Looks like a hive.
Wait.
Hive, honey, hexagons? What do they all have in common? They all start with "H"? Oh, no.
So does Harold.
That means I'm in on it.
No, it's something else.
But I have no idea what.
Ah! Bee! Yeah, me neither.
Gah! Another bee.
- Bees! - Bees! Teachers, bees.
The teachers are turning into Beechers.
There's only two people who could do this.
And they're both Melvin.
See? We didn't tell the teachers to build a hive.
Hive building is normal bee behavior.
And nothing to worry about.
Yes, it is.
I know when I'm lying and you're lying.
'Cause it's me lying.
Mr.
Krupp, the Melvins are turning teachers into bees.
- And? - And we need your help to stop them.
Me? Why me? - Because you're the principal.
- Vice principal.
- Vice principal? - Ugh! I don't even have my own office anymore.
I have to share one with her.
I mean, she's eating an onion like an apple.
An onion! - Do you mind? - Did you call me? No! And why are you eating that? - So there's nothing you can do? - No, I mean, I di Wait.
Well, there is one thing I can do to end all of our problems.
- Great.
- Thanks.
I'm going to betray those boys and get a new office for it.
Are you talking to me? No.
I'm talking to me! Yes! That was a mistake.
The queen bee, aka Ms.
Ribble, got the kids buzz-y working on the hive.
Man, I'm never gonna get hexagons.
Me neither.
You know, I might actually like the new Krupp.
Yeah.
He wasn't cut out for the pressure of being number one.
He's a much better number two.
Ha! Turd-burn.
Nice.
I'm glad this Krupp is T.
C.
O.
B.
now.
Taking Care Of Bees-ness.
Starting with Ms.
Ribble.
He'll find out what's behind that behind.
Ooh! That gives me a great idea for a new villain.
Cool.
Let's make a comic.
Chapter three: Captain Underpants and the Queen Zombee.
By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
So, like, once there was this teacher named Ms.
Beegotten who had a beehive hairdo, which is, like, all big and tall, and people did that 'cause I don't know.
Anyways, Ms.
Beegotten's beehive hairdo started attracting killer bees to her head.
They moved in and threw a hair-warming party which sounds like a salon treatment, but it's not, can't do it.
But killer bee guests are kind of stingy, and Ms.
Beegotten was like, "Hey, get out of my groovy hairdo, bees!" And the killer bees were like, "Wrong answer, lady," and then stung her like crazy to send her a message, which was obviously "Ouch.
" Sting stang, sting sting, sting stang stang.
Ouch.
Sting.
Ms.
Beegotten got stung so much, she turned into the Queen Zombee, an undead bee monster who wanted to make everybody zombees, with two E's - E-E.
- With her zombee honey.
Queen Zombee was all, "I will make you undead bees and you will serve me.
" But in bee-speak, so like, bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz.
I'm translating 'cause they don't teach Bee in schools anymore, 'cause budget cuts and stuff.
Everyone was all, "We don't wanna be your zombees with two E's.
" And that's when Captain Underpants dropped in from the sky.
Tra-la-la! "So, what's up?" And the people said what's up, but with details like we don't need to go back into that again.
Luckily, Captain Underpants knew what to do.
He was like, "Let's eat the honey.
" And Queen Zombee laughed like Or more like 'Cause bee-talk, and she thought Captain Underpants was falling into her bee trap and turning into a zombee with two E's.
But Captain Underpants super loved the honey.
So he ate it all and got crazy, big, fat dinosaur.
Big roar.
But Captain Underpants didn't become a zombee with two E's because super stomach.
Anyway, Captain Underpants tried to fly away.
But he was, like, too heavy, his maximum launch weight exceeded, and he fell on Queen Zombee instead, and she was trapped under his big, fat butt forever.
Bzz! The end.
New comic.
Lot of buzz on this one.
Check this comic out.
This comic puts the "bee" in "zombees.
" Over zombies? Not after this comic.
- What? - Dude, nobody cares about our comic.
Yeah.
They're too busy eating honey.
Kid bees, come with meez to do your duteez.
Oh, no.
Now Ms.
Ribble's talking to kids out of her butt.
And they're listening to her butt.
Because the honey the kids were eating was made by the beechers and contained Bee-NA.
Hey, cool bros.
You guys planning to sabotage Principal Melvinborg? You can totally tell me.
I'm cool.
Just talk loudly, and clearly, and slowly into my chest.
Uh, are you wearing a wire? - Yes.
Wait, what? No.
- Okay.
- So, this bee thing is out of control.
- We gotta stop the Melvins.
Ha, ha! Said it! Gotcha! You're coming with me.
Chapter four: Bee-trayal.
What do we do about the giant beehive the teachers are building around the school? Ignore it.
More honey for your tea? I caught these two plotting against you.
Here's the proof.
Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca Oh! Chili, chili, chili.
No.
It's all here even though you can't hear it.
Everything you need to expel them.
So I guess you'll wanna give me my own office as a reward? - No, we're not doing that.
- But you have to.
The onion.
We know you're turning people into beeple.
- Oh! "Beeple.
" Not bad.
- Thanks.
Well, congratulations.
You've uncovered our brilliant scheme.
But there's nothing you can do about it.
Thanks to the Free-To-Be-Bee 2000.
- Is that a hair dryer? - No.
You sure? Looks like a hair dryer.
It's a hive mind controller! It allows me to control the teachers.
- Does it also dry hair? - Yes! But that's not important.
Wait.
What about the kids? They're turning into bees, too.
What? Injecting the teachers with bee DNA turned them into actual bees.
Now they're using honey to turn the kids into bees.
They're building a colony! Why did you come up with such an overly complicated and possibly flawed plan? Because we didn't go to Eliteanati Academy.
That's why I'm here.
Attention.
This is your King Bee There are no king bees.
- Who was that? - Uh There are only queens.
All hail Queen Bee.
Whoa! She's like Queen Zombee.
Oh! That'z better.
All hail Queen Zombee! Get them, my drones! - Whoa.
Cool.
Secret tunnel.
- I love secret tunnels.
Wait.
I had a trap door leading to a secret tunnel in my office? No.
I had it installed on my first day because I'm smart.
This will take us to downtown Piqua.
- Or Mexico if things get hairy.
- Sí.
- Oh, no.
- It's blocked.
There's no way out.
This is solid honeycomb.
We're bee-blocked.
- We'll have to zircle back.
- And zwiftly.
- Um, what's with all the Z's? - Yeah.
You sound like the zombees.
- Oh, no.
We ztirred honey in our tea.
- I took zo many zips.
Oh.
Stupid flashlights.
Never work when you need them to.
Wait, I found it.
How do I turn this thing off? Tra-la bees? But bees make me puffy.
This was a mistake.
Don't worry.
It'll be fine.
Unless I get stung.
Then you gotta get me to the hospital.
Chapter five: The incredibly graphic violence chapter presented in Bee-O-Rama.
But not that kind of bee, the other kind of bee.
A spelling bee.
Because spelling bees are peaceful.
Usually.
Spell "cat.
" That's easy.
K ow! I got stung by a bee.
That's not good.
Spell "dog.
" Can you use that in a sentence? Ow! That's the second sting.
How many is that? Spell "defeat.
" I can't spell "defeat," but I can smell da-feet, 'cause Ow, ow, ow, ow! I'm in Bee-sting City, baby! We gotta scoot.
I got stung, like, a lot.
I'm gonna blow up like a like a a thing that blows up.
- Uh, balloon? - If you say so.
Tra-la-ow.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Look at all those zombees.
And all those weird circles.
You mean hexagons? That's what hexagons are? How do you know that? I love those Bee-rock-racy videos.
"Buzz Stingle" is a hoot.
If you're in a beehive Here's the situation Honeycombs in a hexagon configuration Gah, hey, I'm one of you guys Honeycombs are in a hexagon configuration We gotta get him out of here.
Now! That's right! To an ER! I don't see any exits.
Let's ask those guys.
Hey, zombees! Where's the exit? Whoa-ho! Did you see how they stopped and got mad at us all together? Hive mind.
Time to go.
Bee-rock-racy didn't cover this! Chapter six: Bee Aggressive.
Bee-Bee Aggressive.
Zo nice of you to join uz.
Before you become my mindlezz zombees, want to hear my zcheme? Boy, that'z a lot of Z's.
You're making a bunch of zombee honey to turn everyone in the world into zombees? Yez.
How did you know? We saw the trailer.
I'm making a bunch of zombee honey to turn everyone in the world into zombees! Queen Zombee, in theaters this summer.
Ugh.
I knew we put too many zpoilers in that zneak peek.
Drones, while we're pupae! Science joke.
I'm ten pounds of me in a five-pound bag.
You're defenseless.
Now zip some honey and join us.
I can't move.
You're gonna have to push me.
- Beetering ram! - Beetering ram! We gotta get to Melvinborg's office and get their bee-maker thing.
It put the bee into everybody.
It can take the bee out.
Ramming speed! So the boys beetered their way to Melvinborg's office and got the Free-To-Be-Bee on their way to sweet freedom.
Just trust me.
Found it! You find the de-bee button on the bee machine yet? I got on, off, conference call, and silent mode, but no de-bee.
Keep looking.
Try un-bee or anti-bee or not-to-bee.
Here comes the bee team! You messed with the wrong beehive! Your fate is zealed.
Your fate is zealed.
Stop that! Hive minds are the worzt.
Blend, garage door, mute.
Found it! "Bee free.
" That makes sense.
- Ah! Push it! - Push it real good.
Chapter seven: To make a long story short, it worked.
Man, the school is jacked.
Other Sophie, chew us free.
Huh? - But we stopped the zombee invasion.
- You stopped nothing.
We have all the honey we need to start over.
Oh, yeah? They might disagree.
I knew we should have done robots.
Hey, who invited the bears?