The New Batman Adventures (1997) s02e03 Episode Script
Cult of the Cat
- There she is.
- Get her.
Sorry, boys, but Goldie's mine now.
Nice kitty.
Nice kitty.
That's a good boy.
Yeah.
Ta-ta, guys.
And don't worry about Goldie here.
She's gonna love her new home.
Get her.
No matter what it takes.
Look, guys, fun is fun, but enough already.
How about I give this statue back, say I'm sorry and we forget the whole thing? Too late for that.
It's been defiled.
And the only way to sanctify it is with blood.
And that'd be mine, huh? No, thanks.
We're locksmiths, I swear.
Yeah.
And the masks are a fashion statement.
Give us a break.
About time you got here.
Let me guess.
You needed a warm place to spend the night.
Kind of.
I know of one.
Jail.
Same old self-righteous stiff.
It doesn't look like you've changed much, either, Selina.
But I have.
I've been through a lot in the last month and I can tell you that jail's not the place for me.
- I wouldn't be safe there.
- Safe from what? Next question.
And you can't get rid of them.
They're like old boyfriends or warts.
- And you figured I'd save your skin.
- That's what you do, isn't it? - Normally.
But it'll cost you.
- What do you have in mind? Everything you've ever stolen.
It all goes back to the owners.
You're crazy.
That's my life's work you're talking about.
All right, then.
We got a deal.
Drive.
- It's some kind of cult.
- Some detective.
- I could have told you that.
- It began in ancient Egypt.
The cult worshiped cats, and one of their holiest rites was theft.
Wait a minute.
Cat worship? Theft? Those guys should be praying to me.
Not likely.
This man, Thomas Blake.
He's their leader.
A major-league psycho.
Lives for revenge.
- Kind of cute.
- You're in over your head this time, Selina.
- Way over.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
I know a way out.
- Selina, where does this lead? - Never mind.
Just hurry.
- Where are we? - The furnace.
And there's your exit.
I have my own, thanks.
- Not exactly the easiest way out.
- Yeah.
But it'll never occur to those idiots.
Light it, but first turn up the gas.
All the way.
What's that? Selina? Selina? I should kill you, you know.
There's no reason not to.
I could give you one or two.
No one's ever eluded us for as long as you did.
- What's your secret? - What's yours? No one's ever chased me as long as you did.
Normally I like men who don't know when to quit but We're deeply committed to our faith.
Yes.
Your faith.
Why don't you tell me all about it? She's stalling.
Let's kill her and be done with it.
She asked about our faith.
That's the first step toward conversion.
And conversion's good for the soul.
Not to mention the body.
- Tell me where Catwoman is.
- Where are you? Wrong answer.
You're fond of cats, aren't you? Maybe you'll like my favorite animal.
All right, I'll tell you.
So, you see, I've always loved cats, and I've always loved stealing.
It's like I was one of you all along without even knowing it.
Rubbish.
You're just a common thief.
I'm a spectacular thief.
Can't you tell? She doesn't care about our faith.
- She's just trying to save her skin.
- We'll soon find out how sincere she is.
Yeah, you will.
What are you talking about? - Our initiation.
- You mean, like, membership oaths and fees and all that? There's considerably more to it.
Are you interested? - Very.
- Excellent.
The initiation will be in one hour.
You won't regret joining us.
Yes, I'm certain I'll be getting a lot out of it.
You know, it's a two-way street.
And an hour's a long time.
Thomas, I need that time to get into the mood for the initiation.
I'm sure there'll be opportunities later.
Lots of opportunities.
Selina.
- What are you doing here? - What do you think? Now come on.
I appreciate the effort.
But I've got everything under control.
Really.
- Then what are you still doing here? - I I don't believe it.
You're going to try to steal from them again, aren't you? I see it more like teaching them a lesson.
You're the one who needs to learn.
These people are too dangerous.
Even for Catwoman.
- What's that for? - You, unless you come to your senses.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I stop stealing? Selina.
Now's not the time.
Will you help me? You're the only person I've ever been able to trust.
I'll do what I can, but right now we have to Now can we go? Gotta get you out of here.
I heard a noise.
What's he doing here? - He tried to rescue me.
- Didn't have much luck, did he? - No more than usual.
- We need blood to sanctify the statue.
Our prayers are answered.
Take him downstairs.
- What's downstairs? - You'll see.
- But what about my initiation? - There's no need for that now.
You've just proven yourself.
You're one of us.
Looking for this? I wanted to make sure the odds would be fair.
- He's anxious to meet you.
- One of your cats? For you, Batman, our ultimate cat.
Our geneticists have been working on this project for years.
You're about to see what some judicious gene-splicing can do.
Nice kitty-kitty.
Nice kitty.
Stop it.
Right now.
Get them.
What are you just standing there for? Help me up.
- And how do I get up? - I'll help you.
After what I just did for you, you don't trust me? I've been knocked out twice tonight but I still have my long-term memory.
Come on.
Catwoman? Stop! Nice kitty.
- code six, 105 North Avenue, 52 - The cat will go to Gotham Zoo? - I expect.
I'd like to see those cultists in the tiger cage too.
But the law says they're entitled to a trial.
You've got plenty of stolen goods in there for evidence.
There's enough to convict them, but it's not as much as you'd expect.
Beluga or sevruga? The heck with it.
You know, Isis, I had no idea being on the right side of the law could be so satisfying.
I guess virtue is its own reward.
- Get her.
Sorry, boys, but Goldie's mine now.
Nice kitty.
Nice kitty.
That's a good boy.
Yeah.
Ta-ta, guys.
And don't worry about Goldie here.
She's gonna love her new home.
Get her.
No matter what it takes.
Look, guys, fun is fun, but enough already.
How about I give this statue back, say I'm sorry and we forget the whole thing? Too late for that.
It's been defiled.
And the only way to sanctify it is with blood.
And that'd be mine, huh? No, thanks.
We're locksmiths, I swear.
Yeah.
And the masks are a fashion statement.
Give us a break.
About time you got here.
Let me guess.
You needed a warm place to spend the night.
Kind of.
I know of one.
Jail.
Same old self-righteous stiff.
It doesn't look like you've changed much, either, Selina.
But I have.
I've been through a lot in the last month and I can tell you that jail's not the place for me.
- I wouldn't be safe there.
- Safe from what? Next question.
And you can't get rid of them.
They're like old boyfriends or warts.
- And you figured I'd save your skin.
- That's what you do, isn't it? - Normally.
But it'll cost you.
- What do you have in mind? Everything you've ever stolen.
It all goes back to the owners.
You're crazy.
That's my life's work you're talking about.
All right, then.
We got a deal.
Drive.
- It's some kind of cult.
- Some detective.
- I could have told you that.
- It began in ancient Egypt.
The cult worshiped cats, and one of their holiest rites was theft.
Wait a minute.
Cat worship? Theft? Those guys should be praying to me.
Not likely.
This man, Thomas Blake.
He's their leader.
A major-league psycho.
Lives for revenge.
- Kind of cute.
- You're in over your head this time, Selina.
- Way over.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
I know a way out.
- Selina, where does this lead? - Never mind.
Just hurry.
- Where are we? - The furnace.
And there's your exit.
I have my own, thanks.
- Not exactly the easiest way out.
- Yeah.
But it'll never occur to those idiots.
Light it, but first turn up the gas.
All the way.
What's that? Selina? Selina? I should kill you, you know.
There's no reason not to.
I could give you one or two.
No one's ever eluded us for as long as you did.
- What's your secret? - What's yours? No one's ever chased me as long as you did.
Normally I like men who don't know when to quit but We're deeply committed to our faith.
Yes.
Your faith.
Why don't you tell me all about it? She's stalling.
Let's kill her and be done with it.
She asked about our faith.
That's the first step toward conversion.
And conversion's good for the soul.
Not to mention the body.
- Tell me where Catwoman is.
- Where are you? Wrong answer.
You're fond of cats, aren't you? Maybe you'll like my favorite animal.
All right, I'll tell you.
So, you see, I've always loved cats, and I've always loved stealing.
It's like I was one of you all along without even knowing it.
Rubbish.
You're just a common thief.
I'm a spectacular thief.
Can't you tell? She doesn't care about our faith.
- She's just trying to save her skin.
- We'll soon find out how sincere she is.
Yeah, you will.
What are you talking about? - Our initiation.
- You mean, like, membership oaths and fees and all that? There's considerably more to it.
Are you interested? - Very.
- Excellent.
The initiation will be in one hour.
You won't regret joining us.
Yes, I'm certain I'll be getting a lot out of it.
You know, it's a two-way street.
And an hour's a long time.
Thomas, I need that time to get into the mood for the initiation.
I'm sure there'll be opportunities later.
Lots of opportunities.
Selina.
- What are you doing here? - What do you think? Now come on.
I appreciate the effort.
But I've got everything under control.
Really.
- Then what are you still doing here? - I I don't believe it.
You're going to try to steal from them again, aren't you? I see it more like teaching them a lesson.
You're the one who needs to learn.
These people are too dangerous.
Even for Catwoman.
- What's that for? - You, unless you come to your senses.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I stop stealing? Selina.
Now's not the time.
Will you help me? You're the only person I've ever been able to trust.
I'll do what I can, but right now we have to Now can we go? Gotta get you out of here.
I heard a noise.
What's he doing here? - He tried to rescue me.
- Didn't have much luck, did he? - No more than usual.
- We need blood to sanctify the statue.
Our prayers are answered.
Take him downstairs.
- What's downstairs? - You'll see.
- But what about my initiation? - There's no need for that now.
You've just proven yourself.
You're one of us.
Looking for this? I wanted to make sure the odds would be fair.
- He's anxious to meet you.
- One of your cats? For you, Batman, our ultimate cat.
Our geneticists have been working on this project for years.
You're about to see what some judicious gene-splicing can do.
Nice kitty-kitty.
Nice kitty.
Stop it.
Right now.
Get them.
What are you just standing there for? Help me up.
- And how do I get up? - I'll help you.
After what I just did for you, you don't trust me? I've been knocked out twice tonight but I still have my long-term memory.
Come on.
Catwoman? Stop! Nice kitty.
- code six, 105 North Avenue, 52 - The cat will go to Gotham Zoo? - I expect.
I'd like to see those cultists in the tiger cage too.
But the law says they're entitled to a trial.
You've got plenty of stolen goods in there for evidence.
There's enough to convict them, but it's not as much as you'd expect.
Beluga or sevruga? The heck with it.
You know, Isis, I had no idea being on the right side of the law could be so satisfying.
I guess virtue is its own reward.