The Proud Family (2001) s02e03 Episode Script

(laughing)
Oscar, we’ve got
to start making plans
for Bebe and Cece’s
first birthday celebration.
Yeah, I got it.
We should start out with dinner
at the Steak and Pork
and follow that up with
a couple of court-side tickets
at the basketball game.
Oscar, that’s not for the twins,
that’s for you.
Well, how about wrestling?
You know the twins
love wrestling.
No, Suga Mama,
you love wrestling.
What about a concert?
-We can get Lil’ Zane.
-Now that’s insane.
So, what do you
want to do, Trudy?
Well, I was thinking
we could have a little party.
-(screams)
-Party! Party!
How little of a party?
Oh, just a few kids
with a petting zoo,
a couple of clowns, pony rides,
a face painter, a water slide,
and a huge Ferris wheel.
You know, the usual.
Usual for who?
Wizard Kelly’s kids?
I just want it
to be special, Oscar.
No, you want it
to be expensive.
Look, Jennifer Jones
hired Siegfried and Roy
for her son.
I want to top her.
Trudy, I am not trying
to keep up the Jennifer Joneses.
-What about Thingy?
-The who-y?
Thingy .
It’s the hottest kids’ show around.
The kids love it.
All around the neighborhood ♪
boys and girls know Thingy ♪
They don’t know what he is ♪
but they still love Thingy ♪
Thingy is I don’t know ♪
Parents don’t know, either ♪
All we know is kids
love her ♪
him it ♪
Hey, there goes Thingy ♪
-Ooh ♪
-Break it down ♪
Thingy, Thingy,
Thingy, Thingy ♪
Get ready for ♪
Thingy, Thingy ♪
-He’s coming ♪
-Thingy ♪
(TV announcer) Watch Thingy
every morning on Whiz Kids Television.
It’s a hoot.
Thingy, Thingy ♪
That’s a wonderful idea, Penny.
-Honey, we have to have Thingy.
-No problem.
Put Penny in a pillowcase, like so,
cut some holes in it, and call it a day.
No, Oscar,
I want the real Thingy; that one.
Thingy sees Dan ♪
Oh, come on, baby,
Thing-a-ma-jiggy’s on TV.
That’ll cost a fortune.
Oscar, we want Thingy.
Well, why didn’t you
just say so?
The Proud Family ♪
What? You and me
will always be tight ♪
Family, every single
day and night ♪
Even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
You know I’m loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
And every day,
as I’m heading off to school ♪
You know there’s no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll make you scream ♪
They’ll make you
want to sing ♪
It’s a family thing,
a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
The Proud Family ♪
They’ll push your buttons ♪
And make you want
to hug them ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Yeowch!
Greetings, my good man.
We’re here to see Thingy.
Do you have a pass?
As a matter of fact, I do.
"Proud Snacks"?
Yes. I’m Proud, Oscar Proud.
President, Chief Executive
Officer and Owner.
That’s not a pass.
It gives me gas.
Be gone.
(screams)
(grunts)
You’re lucky I didn’t get hurt.
I’d own this studio.
(horn honking)
Daddy?
Shh.
(woman)
Oscar Proud, is that you?
(wolf whistle)
(Oscar)
Debra?
Debra Williams?
Long time, no see, girl.
(flatulent noises)
Sorry, I was a little low.
Well, so what brings you
to the Wizard Kelly Studios?
I’m trying to track down
some ridiculous creature
by the name of Thingy.
What are you doing here?
I’m that ridiculous creature
you’re looking for.
Did I did I say ridiculous creature?
Because I meant that in a
ridiculously complementary way.
(chuckles)
(Penny) Beat you. Tic-tac-toe.
Three in a row.
Hasta la vista.
No way. Let’s play one more game.
Uh-uh. You said if I won,
you’d let me on.
One more game, little girl.
(horn honking)
Don’t move.
I’ll be back.
OK, OK, my move.
This time I’m X.
(wind blows)
Um, excuse me?
Ma’am, excuse me?
Um, excuse me?
Could you tell me where I could find
Thingy’s dressing room?
(man)
Duh.
Oh, thank you.
(gasps)
Daddy?
Penny, there you are.
I want you to meet
an old friend of mine.
Debra Williams,
this my daughter, Penny.
Oh, Oscar, she is beautiful.
She looks just like her mother.
-She’s got my eyes.
-(Debra) Not really.
-My smile?
-(Debra) No.
She got my mole. Just that
mine is in a different place.
So, Daddy, did you find Thingy?
As a matter of fact,
I did.
Debra?
Hey, boys and girls.
Thingy?
Yep. And she’s coming
to the twins’ birthday party.
Yeah. I can’t wait to see their faces.
(knocking)
Miss Williams,
you’re needed on the set
in five minutes.
Look, we’ll get
out of your way, Debra.
So, I’ll, uh, see you tonight?
My place?
(Oscar) Yep.
I’ll sneak out after dinner.
(Debra chuckles)
Good.
And, I promise,
you won’t be disappointed.
Oh. Nice meeting you,
Penny.
My pleasure.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, Daddy,
what was that all about?
Oh, that was
that was nothing.
Just catching up
with an old friend.
Now, listen up, Penny.
Don’t tell your mama
about us
running into Debra today.
I want it to be a surprise.
You promise?
OK, Daddy.
(panting)
Oh, you shouldn’t have
played that card.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
I’m out. You lose.
That’s four games
in a row, Suga Mama.
How do you keep winning?
Child, it’s all about strategy.
Suga Mama’s been playing
this game for years.
(Oscar)
Trudy!
Daddy’s home. Don’t everybody
congratulate me at once.
What are you
talking about, boy?
You wanted Thingy,
I got you Thingy.
Oh, Oscar!
-Really?
-Really, really.
Well, now you did
something right today.
I don’t believe it.
Well, believe it.
Thingy’s going to be right here,
live and in person,
in all its thingy-ness.
Here you go, Trudy.
What was that?
Well, I bet her five bucks
you’d find a way to mess it up.
But don’t worry,
I’m still up a thousand.
(Zoey) Girl, I can’t believe your dad
actually got Thingy for the party.
I’ve been a Thingy fan
for years.
I always thought
Thingy was a dude.
I wish Thingy was a dude.
What do you mean by that?
Guys, I think she likes my dad.
(laughs) Please,
who would like your dad?
I know it sounds crazy,
but I think my father
has a thing for Thingy.
Doesn’t everybody
have a thing for Thingy?
But I’m talking about
the real Thingy, baby.
Wait a minute.
Are we talking about
the same man?
Oscar Proud?
King of the Nasty Snacks?
Yeah, my daddy.
How could he
do this to me?
You? Sounds like some
drama for your mama.
So, are you going to drop a dime
on your dad, Proud?
Penny, you can’t
do or say anything
to your mom without absolute,
undeniable proof.
Yeah, Zoey’s right.
The laughing alone
would kill her.
Proof, huh?
Well, he did say he was going
to see her after dinner.
Hmm
(Trudy)
Oscar, slow down.
This is not a
speed-eating contest.
Sorry, honey, but you know
everything I do,
I’m in it to win it.
I’m done. Got to run.
Where are you going?
I made your favorite dessert.
Pecan pie.
Just cut a slice
and put it in my hand.
Something came up at the office,
you know how it is.
Nothing gets done
unless the boss does it.
I guess so.
You’re the only employee.
You know, Mama, one day I
Mmm, this is good.
-What was I talking about?
-You were about to give me $20.
Here you go.
I’ll see you in a little bit.
Mmm.
(door closes)
Yep, that’s my boy.
I’m not proud of it,
but he’s mine.
Mama, may I be excused?
I don’t feel well.
Sticky, it’s on.
Somebody call for a cab?
Faster, Sticky.
He’s getting away.
No problem.
Ooh, just like Batman.
Hold on, Lady and Dijonay.
This might get a little bumpy.
Don’t worry, Sticky,
I’ll smooth it out for you.
Dijonay!
(horn honks)
(screams)
Hmm?
(Oscar)
Whoa! Watch yourself!
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
There we go!
Rawhide!
Here we go. Rawhide!
Dang, Penny, your dad has been
on that horse for half an hour.
Yeah. I thought you said
he was cheating with Thingy,
not My Little Pony.
Dijonay, I’m telling you,
I heard him say he was going
over to her house.
(Sticky)
Uh-oh, he’s on the move.
And now he’s in the helicopter.
(laughing)
This is Oscar Proud.
I’m coming to you live
from just south of the 55,
high above the city.
Traffic is really
backed up today
uh-oh, freeway chase.
He’s on the move.
(man)
What, you that’s my car!
(car alarm blaring)
Faster, Sticky.
Hold on, Lady.
(Dijonay)
Dang, he’s stopping again?
Where’s he this time?
Wizard Kelly’s donuts?
(Dijonay)
I hope so.
All this undercover work
has made me hungry.
Wait a minute.
I think this is it.
Let me see.
Debra.
Thingy’s got it going on.
Come on, Sticky,
let me see.
I’m glad you could get away.
Trudy was asking
all kinds of questions.
You didn’t tell her
anything, did you?
Of course, not. Oscar Proud knows
how to keep a secret.
I bet you do.
(laughing)
(Penny)
Oh, no, she didn’t.
Ooh, what’s going on?
Dang, this is no fun.
I can’t see.
I can’t believe my father.
He’s cheating on my mama.
Ooh! My turn! My turn!
Relax, Penny,
your dad’s leaving.
That was fast.
Our little secret, right?
My lips are sealed.
(chuckling and soft groans)
I guess you’re right, Penny.
Your dad does
have a thing for Thingy.
Well, Penny,
you got your proof.
Are you going to tell your mom?
No, it would kill her.
I’ve got a better idea.
Halt! Who goes there?
Hi.
Oh, it’s you, little girl.
Are you ready for our
tic-tac-toe rematch?
Yeah, sure.
Ooh, look, Julia Roberts!
-Ha ha.
-(laughing)
Oh, Penny,
what a pleasant surprise.
Yeah, right. Who were
you expecting, my dad?
Well, it’s always nice
seeing him, too.
Is he on the lot?
Nope. He’s hard at work
making an honest living
for his lovely wife of 15 years
and his three lovely children,
and our lovely
Proud Snacks factory.
So, what do I owe
this lovely visit?
Look here, Miss Thingy.
I came by to inform you
that we won’t be requiring
your services any longer.
-Excuse me?
-Yep.
The party has been canceled
because
because
the twins have chickenpox
and so do I.
(coughing)
Get away! I’ve never had
the chickenpox!
Oh, yeah? (coughs)
Then you better stay away
from my family.
We all have it, including my daddy.
(coughs) So you better
really stay away from him.
OK, OK, I got the point.
Just cover your mouth
and get out of
my dressing room!
OK, whatever you say.
(coughing)
(chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
Trudy, where did all these
crumb-snatchers come from?
I only got a six inch sheet cake,
a pint of ice cream,
and a glass of milk.
There’s going to be a lot
of angry babies up in here.
No, there’s going to be
a lot of angry babies,
if there’s no Thingy
up in here.
Where’s Thingy, Oscar?
Don’t worry.
Thingy will be here.
I swear by the hair
on Sugar Mama’s
chinny-chin-chins.
Ha ha ha!
You missed, Mama!
Ow!
(Suga Mama)
Got you that time.
(chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
Oscar, you had better
get Thingy here, and fast.
Don’t worry.
I’ll go call.
(gasps)
You?!
What are you doing here?
Even you can’t be
that stupid, Proud.
What’s it look
like I’m doing?
Oh, by the way,
got milk?
(belches)
No, but I got a door,
and I’m throwing you out.
Unhand me,
you simple simian.
Oscar, what are you doing
with that baby?
I’m putting his
smart-talking,
diaper-rash-having,
behind out.
Go ahead. Mouth off
for her like you do me.
Goo goo ga ga.
Oh, yeah, he’s
a real chatterbox.
You know, he should
have his own talk show.
No, I’m serious!
He can talk!
Oscar, the only talking
I want to hear,
is you on the phone,
finding Thingy, now!
Hey, Trudy, I want
my five dollars back.
What’s wrong, Proud?
Made a promise
you can’t keep?
You know what they say about the
best laid plans of mice and moron.
Well, I know one plan
that’s going to work.
Me throwing your rear
out of my house.
(babies chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
I’m warning you.
Put me down before
I’m forced to hurt you.
Hurt me?! Hah!
What are you going to do?
Hit me with your little
baby fist?
All right, pipsqueak.
Put up your dukes.
It’s me and you, come on.
Mano y mouth-o.
Goo goo! Ga ga!
Goo goo! Ga ga!
That baby talk won’t help
you now. Come on. Come on.
You got to be kidding.
You got to be kidding.
You got go be joking.
You got to be joking.
It’s on!
(babies chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
Looks like
you’re outnumbered, Proud.
And outwitted.
(laughs)
Trudy!!
This is Marsha Mitsubishi
with breaking news.
We’re hovering high
above the home
of local snack hack,
Oscar Proud.
There appears to be hundreds
of disgruntled toddlers,
angrily gathered.
They seem to be chanting, "Thingy."
This assembly
is getting scary.
If something isn’t done,
this mob scene could turn ugly.
(yelling)
Come on, Mama. Don’t
just stand there, do something.
Uh-uh, I’m on their side.
I want to see Thingy, too.
Trudy?
You know how I feel.
You’re lucky we don’t throw
your lying behind out there,
talking about you got Thingy.
I’m not lying,
I did get Thingy.
Daddy, what’s going on?
Thingy went AWOL and these babies
are about to go off the wall.
And I don’t mean
like Michael Jackson.
Go get Thingy for me, please, Penny.
Go get Thingy.
We don’t need Thingy.
I’ve got an idea.
(chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
(babies cheering)
(mimicking Thingy)
Hey, there, kiddies.
It’s Thingy.
Thingy, Thingy, Thingy.
It’s Thingy time.
I’m Thingy.
Just as I expected.
A pathetic attempt
from a desperate man.
Goo goo, ga ga.
Ga ga!
Ga! Ga!
Help me! Somebody help!
Oh, my. The mob is attacking
a pathetic impersonator
of the beloved character,
Thingy. Wait!
The costume
is being ripped off.
It’s a local troublemaker
and rabble-rouser, Oscar Proud
being pummeled by the
rebellious band of babies.
Oh! That was not pretty.
Pop Goes The Weasel ♪
If I’m not mistaken,
I think I hear the Thingy theme song.
(chanting)
Thingy! Thingy!
(Thingy laughing)
(all cheering)
Hello, kids.
(laughing)
(Thingy)
Hey, boys and girls.
Are you ready
for Thingy?
(laughing)
Thanks for coming.
Thingy, you were wonderful.
The kids loved you,
and Jennifer Jones
was jealous as I don’t know what.
Here’s your payment.
Oh, no.
Thingy doesn’t take money
from friends.
-What?
-You heard Thingy.
Keep the money.
Besides, I’m going to need
to pay my doctor bill.
(gasps)
(squeals)
Debra Williams!
(laughs)
Trudy Parker!
Oh, girl!
Mommy, don’t hug
that home-wrecker.
Penny Proud!
What has gotten into you?
You apologize to Debra right now.
I figured something
like that was up
when you told me your whole
entire family had chickenpox.
Chickenpox?
Why would you say that, Penny?
Look, Mama, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,
but Daddy and Thingy
are having a flingy.
What?! Girl, you must be crazy!
Or Thingy must be dingy
to have a flingy with you.
Penny, what are you
talking about?
Dijonay, Sticky and I,
followed Daddy to her house,
and they were alone
with the shades down.
Well, that’s because I was showing
your father these new limited edition,
glow-in-the-dark Thingy dolls.
You can’t get these
in the stores.
Happy birthday,
Bebe and Cece.
(cooing)
Oh, yeah,
glow-in-the-dark dolls.
How convenient.
Oops.
Okay, so they glow
in the dark.
But that still doesn’t explain
how you know my daddy.
She knows your daddy because
she was my college roommate.
In fact, she introduced us.
If it wasn’t for Debra,
you wouldn’t be here.
Like, I wish I wasn’t here
right now?
Is it too late for me
to say I’m sorry
and get one of those
really dope,
glow-in-the-dark Thingy dolls?
(laughs)
Mama, Daddy, I cleaned up
the basement,
the attic and the garage.
I’ll start cleaning
the kitchen now.
Well, I hope you’ve
learned a valuable lesson
from this experience.
I did: get all the facts
before coming to any conclusions.
Good. But the one thing
you never have to worry about,
is the love your father and I have
for each other.
And no one can break
that bond, baby.
Unless Denzel called and needed
his own personal veterinarian.
(laughing)
And I wouldn’t go out with anyone,
unless Halle Berry
wanted my secret
Proud Snacks recipe.
(laughing)
(leg cracking)
Ouch!
Come on, Penny. I think your father
can bandage his own leg.
Hey, I was joking.
I don’t care about Halle Berry.
Trudy, Trudy!
Ouch! Ouch!
Ow! Ouch!
Ow! Ow!
Trudy!