The West Wing s02e03 Episode Script
The Midterms
Previously on The West Wing: You go out with Zoey, there's gonna be a lot of people unhappy seeing you and the president's daughter.
-You're getting death threats.
-Are they white supremacists? -I know what l' m looking for.
-What happened? -It's a gunshot wound.
No exit.
-lt didn't hit anything.
They'll make sure.
The guy the Secret Service have in custody is Carl Leroy.
A bullet collapsed your lung.
I'm trying to re-expand it.
He tried to kill the president because Zoey and I are together? Charlie, the president wasn't the target.
It's called the "Theory of Everything.
" -The Theory of Everything? - Yes.
Is it comprehensive? That was a joke there, pal of mine.
-Lead with this.
-l' m missing the OMB stats.
-They' re coming.
-C.
J.
, lead with this.
-l' m not leading with it.
-Yes, you are.
-Okay.
-So you got it? -Sure.
-So you got what you' re saying? -Also the EPA.
-The committee isn't out till 3:00.
-Say it for me.
-He's making me crazy.
-I heard that.
-I know how a speakerphone works.
-Say it for me.
-I have to get to the briefing room.
Say it, please.
" Psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab are close to-- Physicists.
Theoretical physicists at Caltech.
-Not psychics? -No.
-I should jot that down.
-Please.
If it was psychics I'd lead with it.
T alk to you later, Mi amor.
-The OMB stats.
-Thanks.
You can set them down.
Let Josh rant a little before you hang up the phone.
-C.
J.
? -Yes, ma'am.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics is gonna report the CPl jumped 0.
7%.
It's the biggest one-month increase since they started tracking in '52.
Let me say this: The market basket used to calculate the CPl is antiquated-- Say outdated.
And doesn't include some household items like computers-- Where prices are always dropping.
And doesn't reflect technical improvements like air bags in automobiles which increase the price of the car but provide a greater value to the consumer.
Got it? Let's find out.
Mention the underwriting changes for the Federal Housing Administration.
The networks will want special coverage.
The adjustments are in FHA-related lending.
They'll need time to put together a logo and music.
-The Bureau of Labor Statistics-- -Reported the CPl jumped 0.
7%.
-Thank you.
-C.
J.
? -Holy interruptus, Batman.
-Grant Samuels died.
-Really? He's really dead this time? -Yeah.
-Last time you said he was, he wasn't.
-He is this time.
-Somebody poked him to see if-- -He died.
-Then I shouldn't have made a joke.
-I'm almost certain he's dead.
I was making a joke too.
What, you work alone? He's survived by his wife, Eileen, son, Robert two daughters and eight grandchildren.
-I won't learn their names.
-Fine.
Eileen, Robert, Priscilla, Patty.
-I assume it was complications due to? -Yeah.
You know about theoretical physics? -The Grand Unified Theory.
-Know anything about it? -No.
-Okay.
Folks, please take your seats.
The briefing will start now.
Good morning.
I have to start with a sad announcement.
Congressman Grant Samuels finally succumbed to pneumonia.
His wife, Eileen, his son, Robert, his daughters Priscilla and Patty and his eight grandchildren are all in the president's thoughts.
I also want to talk about the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Federal Housing Administration.
And as a special treat for Josh Lyman, who's recovering very nicely at GW the president's science adviser is saying that psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab.
I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be "physicists.
" -Eighty-one percent.
-And all we had to do was get shot at.
-81 %.
-Those numbers are soft.
-You think? -You don't? The job approval was at 51.
We got shot at, it's 81.
The numbers are soft.
Still, 81 %.
-Good morning, Mr.
President.
-Good morning, everybody.
Anybody know what the word "acalculia" means? It's an inability to perform arithmetic functions.
Sorry.
You wanted to answer that.
-Yeah, but I'll get over it.
-That's mature.
-Shut up.
-You're not over it? -No.
-Okay.
-Did we really poll at 81 %? -Those are CNN/USA Today.
-It's soft.
-No.
When asked "Whose approach on national problems do you think is best Bartlet or the Republican leaders of Congress, " Bartlet gets 61 %.
Well, 1 9% of the country has made up their minds about me.
is what you want if you' re president.
-Give us an overview.
-We have a shot to take back the House.
That and getting two seats net in the Senate.
And two governorships and six State Houses.
-Where should we look? -lndiana 6th, California 4th and 1 4th.
-Michigan 1 2th.
-T exas 1 2th.
Florida 4, 5 and 9.
We won't elect a Democrat in the Florida 9th.
-Sorry, Florida 8th.
-They won't elect one there either but let's put some time into it.
What else? -I can hold or you can call me back.
-An inability to do arithmetic functions.
Apparently there's a specialized circuit in the brain for numbers.
-Know where it is? -Sorry? -It's in the left parietal lobe.
-Thank you.
-Hey, Zoey.
-Hey.
Where's Mrs.
Landingham? A funeral.
President's in there.
I'm here to see him, not my father.
-Do you know what acalculia means? -Yes, because I got it at breakfast.
-Okay.
-Thank you.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Mrs.
Landingham asked me to ask you to call T echnical Support and have them look at her computer.
Ask for Andrew Mackintosh.
-She only trusts him.
-Mackintosh? -Like the apple.
-Sure.
Thank you.
-I called you last night.
-I got home late.
-Where were you? -Here.
-I called here too.
-I'm not lying to you.
I don't think you're lying.
I think you were here or didn't return my call.
I was here, I got no message.
I was home, I got it.
-lt was too late to call you.
-I don't mind being woken up.
Well, now I know that.
-Now you know that? -Excuse me.
We haven't been dating for nine months? I've got to go in there.
Cumberland, Monroe, possibly Stanwyck.
Since you brought them up, can I say a word about the shooting? -The honeymoon's about to be over.
-She's right.
We don't wanna look like we're taking advantage of the situation.
-Why not? -Why not what? The country was a victim of domestic terrorism.
Why not use the numbers before they disappear and go after the guns and go after the hate groups? -lt doesn't look good.
-Looks good to me.
You work for the White House, we were counting on your support either way.
For questions about the midterms, say, "We haven't thought that far ahead.
" And when they ask about the link between approval numbers and the shooting, the president's deeply gratified by the public's support -but eager to focus on the issues.
-Which will be? I'll let you know.
Thank you very much, everyone.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Mr.
President.
It's fine.
Tell him around 3:00.
Was Zoey out there? -Yes.
-ls she still here? -I don't know, sir.
-Okay.
-Leo? -Yes, sir? Did you know Elliot Roush is running for school board in Manchester? I didn't, sir, but then I don't know who Elliot Roush is.
-My Elliot Roush.
-Sorry, sir.
I'm still not-- I beat him in my first congressional campaign.
I can't believe I didn't commit that arcane information to memory.
I want polling numbers on that race.
I don't want you focusing your attention on a New Hampshire school board race.
Because looking at two numbers takes the life out of me.
-I know where this is going.
-Get me the numbers.
I' m ready to go out there.
I don't need to wait another week.
Sir, let's play a game of "Who Do You Think I'm Gonna Agree With? " before assuming a campaign schedule.
Who will I agree with? -Get away from me.
-Yes, sir.
Sam? -ls he here? -Want me to bring him back? I'll go get him myself.
-T om? -Sam.
-Hello.
-Hope you weren't waiting long.
No.
I mean, I don't mind.
Sam, this is my wife, Sarah.
-Hi.
-It's nice to meet you.
-You got married.
-Two years, with a baby on the way.
-ls it his? -Yeah.
-Okay.
Follow me.
-Okay.
Tom and I had a professor at Duke who couldn't stand me.
"Those may be your thoughts, Mr.
Seaborn, but that's not the law.
" I wanted to tell him to take the law and shove it up-- -You ever been in the White House? -No.
-We were looking forward to a tour.
-That's my office over there the president works in that round room there and no one else matters.
Come on in.
-This is the Mural Room.
-Can you tell us anything about it? It's called the Mural Room.
Have a seat.
-You know why I wanted to talk to you? -I really don't.
Because the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee asked me to.
-Grant Samuels died a few days ago.
-We saw on the news.
He wasn't gonna run again because he was sick and the man who'd run in his place-- -Seymour Wirthin? -Right.
Isn't going to.
He's not running? You're a phenomenally attractive Democratic candidate for that district.
There are 1 62 games in a baseball season and the players have a saying: " Every team wins and loses 54 games.
It's the other 54 games that count.
" In your district, the other 54 games are women.
Specifically, young mothers, among whom the number one issue is crime.
You' re a graduate of Oberlin and Duke Law.
You passed up lucrative opportunities to work for the D.
A.
You're a prosecutor with an exceptional conviction record and nobody can say you' re soft on crime.
You' re active in local politics.
You are personable.
You are articulate and energetic.
You are married and you are having a baby.
-I thought you didn't know that.
-Sorry? Out there, it seemed like you didn't know he was married with a baby coming and now it sounded like you already knew that.
Sarah, there's very little information about him I don't have.
And tell your mom happy birthday for me.
You'll have the weight of the Democratic National Committee the Congressional Campaign Committee, the minority leader whom we hope to make the majority leader, and the president.
What do you say? You wanna run for Congress? There's a lot to consider, Sam.
-How much time do I have to consider it? -Five minutes.
I'll be outside.
-You're pissed at me? -I could've used your support.
I support you like you support me, when I agree with you or when I don't care what you say.
This time I disagreed.
We shouldn't use this to get aggressive about guns and hate groups? We were victims of a crime and it's unseemly to use this moment at all.
We' re not taking advantage of anyone! And even if we were, who cares? Every Republican trying for the next T oby, if you and the FBl wanna go after hate groups I' m not the one you have to convince.
Bag the president.
I will.
I've gotten calls about pieces people wanna do on how staffers are handling the shooting and the aftermath.
-Psychologically? -Yeah.
-It's not a good idea.
-We' re not the story.
That's what l' m saying.
Leave me alone.
I've got it.
I've got it.
I've got it.
I've got it.
Bonnie.
Ginger.
I've got it.
-Excellent.
-Way to go.
Sam? Sam? -Sam? -Right here.
-I thought you were in there.
-I wasn't.
-I've got it.
-Got what? How to avoid the appearance that we're randomly going after extremist groups -in violation of their civil liberties.
-We can avoid that by not doing it.
Yes, or with this: the shooting was the action of not one, but at least three card-carrying members of West Virginia White Pride.
-They have cards? -What? -They have membership cards? -Who the hell knows? It's an expression.
The key phrase is "at least.
" At least three members.
-There might be more.
-So the FBl has grounds to investigate-- Yes, to investigate the activities of all extremist organizations.
Under a cover of investigating this crime.
How do we know that Young Nazis of Delaware weren't coconspirators? It's a common way to get around the Bill of Rights.
-l' m surprised it took you so long.
-I had no help from anyone else.
-I'm taking it to Leo.
-Go ahead.
-Donna? -Yes? -You going to see Josh? -I'm taking him lunch.
-Can I come? -No.
-You know the rules.
-They're dumb.
-They are not dumb.
-Seriously-- I'm serious.
He's recovering from an attempted murder he's supposed to rest.
I don't want people getting him fartusht.
Don't bring the Yiddish.
You know what word should be Yiddish? Spatula.
-Also "far-fetched.
" -I need to talk about-- How to bring the hate crimes to the president.
He's got the papers you wrote and materials you sent.
-You talk on the phone 93 times a day.
-I'd like to talk to him at his apartment.
-No.
-Donna.
Maybe if you hadn't said the rules were dumb.
Yeah.
-Hey, Leo.
-Hey, kid.
-I was looking for my dad.
-He's making campaign calls.
-He's not in the office.
-He's doing it from the residence.
-Why? -Your father has a strict interpretation of something called the Pendleton Act, which prohibits campaign donations to be solicited on government property.
It's a little impractical for the president to use a pay phone, isn't it? -Exactly.
-lsn't the residence government property? -Yes.
-Then why? Because your father is a demented, demented man.
I'm going over there.
-Leo, do you feel like Charlie's--? -No.
-Sir-- -Forty-six percent.
-Yes, sir.
-The guy is polling at 46%.
I didn't think they had data on people running for the board of education.
They don't.
I had to have our guys do it.
Sir, do you think you're obsessed with this race? He's polling at 46%.
He's not a joke.
He's polling inside the margin.
In a race in a school district that has 43 kids.
It has 1 1 00 kids.
And you don't take these people seriously because they don't get anywhere nationally.
All they have to do is, bit by little bit get onto boards of education and city councils.
That's where all the governing that matters really happens.
-We do some governing here.
-l' m on hold with a guy whose name I've got on an index card.
How much governing is going on around here today? -And can you believe I'm on hold? -You finished the call.
-I did? -Yes, sir.
-How'd it go? -Very well.
-Good morning, Mr.
President.
-Elliot Roush is now polling at 46%.
How do you know? You had our people check.
I have three daughters who grew up there.
-Leave him alone.
You beat him already.
-And he has come back.
Like crabgrass pulled from the lawn.
Not by the root, but by the other thing.
-I wanted to see how the calls are going.
-They' re going fine.
-Then I'll leave.
-Can't tell you how much I'll miss you.
-You wanted to talk to me? -Not if you're in this mood.
This is real.
A man who makes the Spanish lnquisition look like a Barbara Walters special is now polling at 46% in your school district for which I have personally baked things to raise money.
-You can go too.
-You baked things? -You can go.
-Thank you.
-What do you want? -Dad, listen.
Do you think Charlie? The calls are going well.
We're still getting asked to do aftermath stories.
-Psychological effects? -Yeah.
I was-- -Don't do it.
-No, I know.
I was wondering-- You were wondering what? -This won't be good.
-You were wondering what? -Don't worry about it.
-Okay.
Hey, it's C.
J.
Cregg.
Step three: public disclosure of membership and contributor rolls for all organizations on the list of hate groups.
This allows the public to know who these people are and where their funding is from.
And to do it in violation of their right to free association.
Laws like that were passed during the civil rights movement to root out members of such terrorist organizations as the NAACP.
The Supreme Court said those laws were unconstitutional.
That was a Warren Court that struck those down.
-They'd see it differently today.
-You' re an ultra-activist.
And I was shot at, and so l' m acting right now.
Sam? He wants everyone to register affiliation with the FBl.
-Any First Amendment problems? -I'll get around them.
I need to talk to you.
-What's up? -There's a problem with your friend.
-Which friend? -T om Jordan.
-What's wrong? -His prosecutorial record.
-His prosecutorial record is great.
-Not during jury selection.
Preemptive challenges? Your friend likes white juries for black defendants.
-He's a prosecutor.
-Not now.
Now he's a politician -and this needs a save, so get into it.
-Yeah.
-How did T okyo open? -I think up 3/8, but let me check again.
-ls that it for me? -You've got phone calls still to make.
Wengland? Frank Gates and MacNamara? -Yes, sir.
-Those are campaign calls.
Why don't you just stay in your office and make the damn--? Because I choose not to, Charlie.
Because however an empty gesture it may seem I would like to take notice of the notion that it's not a good idea for the most powerful person in the world to be calling up the people whose laws he signs and asking them for money! I' m gonna do it, but not behind this desk.
Not in this room.
What else? I was asked to tell you that an event was added for T uesday the 7th.
A reception for talk radio.
Hosts, I guess they' re called.
It's three weeks away.
You don't need to commit right now.
Yeah.
I'll make these calls from the residence.
-T ell C.
J.
I wanna see her in an hour.
-Yes, sir.
Hello.
Are you a Cabinet secretary? -Can you tell me your name? -Jeffrey.
-Jeffrey what? -Jeffrey Mackintosh.
-Like the apple? -Yeah.
You' re here with your dad? Excuse me, l' m sorry.
When I tell you to sit and stay put, you know what I need you to do? That.
I need you to do that.
Not some variation on that, but that.
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
Okay, see, now I got to make you rewire the house.
I' m Andrew Mackintosh from T echnical Support.
-l' m installing-- -I thought that was weeks ago.
-lt was, but there were some bugs.
-Okay.
They said it was okay to bring my son.
My wife works nights.
-Sure.
-Let's go, big man.
-T ake it easy, Jeffrey.
-T ake it easy.
-Hey, man.
-Hey.
-Leo? -Sam, come in.
Close the door.
-What's up? -Josh is on speaker.
-Hey, Sam.
-What's going on? A guy who went to college with T om says he was in an all-white fraternity.
-The papers are carrying it tomorrow.
-I checked that weeks ago.
It wasn't an exclusive fraternity, they just didn't have any black pledges.
It's common to have black fraternities and white fraternities.
But you put this together with the preemptive challenges in voir dire and leaders in African-American communities have a problem.
-I'll talk to them.
-No, it's over, Sam.
I' m gonna cancel the president's stop and shut down the money.
-You can't cut and run.
-There's no choice.
-We have a choice.
-We've got a chance at the House.
Leo must put the president and money where it can win.
-T om Jordan is running against a man-- -Don't tell me.
-We'll hand it to him.
-lt won't matter if we get the House.
Jordan is down by seven and he's not gonna come back from this.
And if we stand by him, this is a national thing.
It could drag down black turnout in districts where we' re competitive.
-I told him.
-Yeah.
I told him we would stand behind him.
I told him he'd have our full support.
-I was asked to ask him to run.
-I know.
We walk away now, that's it.
He's a racist.
The White House just said so.
We can't afford all the things we want, Sam.
It's over.
Hey, Leo.
You know, there 's something called the "Superstring Theory" which says that the universe consists of these tiny loops of string that vibrate at different frequencies.
How did that bullet not kill you? -Just lucky, I guess.
-Yeah.
-T oby? -Yeah.
Any chance I can see an advance copy of the president's remarks for Asia-Pacific? -What? -Asia-Pacific? I have a draft here.
I' m gonna rewrite it.
-I thought I'd have it by today.
-Day's not over.
These pieces everyone wants to do on the aftermath of the shooting they've had me thinking.
Do you think there is a psychological aftermath we' re not paying attention to? -I don't have time for this conversation.
-You should have this conversation.
-You think my problem is psychological? -You've been ignoring responsibilities -That's crap.
-so you can act like the FBl director.
I'm waiting for the director of the FBl to behave that way.
I'm waiting for the Justice Department and Congress to behave that way.
I' m waiting for the White House to behave that way! Wanna lock up everybody with a white sheet? Yes, I do.
Who has a problem with that? Bring them to me right now.
Yes, I do.
-He's ready for me? -ln the residence.
Thank you.
I'll be here for a while, so whenever you can get me Asia-Pacific.
Give me an hour.
Come in.
-Good evening, Mr.
President.
-Hi, C.
J.
-Charlie said you wanted to see me.
-Yeah.
Why has there been no press mention of the fact that Elliot Roush was an opponent of mine in New Hampshire? -Elliot Roush is the man-- -He's running in Manchester.
-I'm sure it's gotten some local coverage.
-Why isn't it more than local? -It's a school board seat.
-It's a human interest story.
Not a very interesting one.
I' m saying if anyone in the press room wanted to do this story that I would comment on-the-record.
Sir.
The president can't publicly take sides in a local school board election.
-Why can't he? -Because it's not done.
And it's not fair.
It's personal.
And it's irresponsible.
It will galvanize Republicans.
Democrats will think you don't care about winning back the House.
I don't care about winning back the House! I don't! Well, I don't believe that's true so let's just keep that between you and me.
C.
J.
I've known men of faith in my life.
Towering men.
Men of wisdom and compassion.
Men of all faiths.
Of healing and peace.
Pro-choice.
Pro-life.
Republican.
Democrat.
Men and women of God.
Elliot Roush is polling at 53%.
He's polling at 53%.
He's the front-runner.
Then that's the way it is.
In a democracy, oftentimes other people win.
Yeah.
It was just a thought.
-But, I mean, obviously you're right.
-Yes, sir.
Thanks.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
-Ginger? -They're still too close to call.
-All 1 2? -Yes.
Get me somebody in the Midwest.
I wanna see everybody on telephones.
Okay, good.
Just like that.
God.
T om, Sarah.
I'm sorry, I forgot I was.
-I'm sorry.
I'm glad you could make it.
-lt was no problem coming, Sam.
Turns out there was really no reason for us to stay in our district.
Yeah.
You've seen the exits.
You're gonna lose, T om.
-No kidding.
-Probably 58-42.
-Yeah.
-42% is a very respectable number.
-The district's 49% Democrat, Sam.
-Well, we'll get them next time.
Shut up.
There's not gonna be a next time, so shut up.
Not even a word from the White House.
-Not even a word.
-That's how we do it.
Sam? Any time we have the opportunity in the future to screw you count on getting screwed.
Good luck with the baby.
No, that was K- TALK out of Minneapolis.
You' re thinking of SLAM-1 00 in the Great Lakes area.
-The number one station.
-But then it was classic rock.
Or what our program director thought was classic rock.
Fleetwood Mac.
Then they switched over to news and information back in.
'82? -'82, '83.
-We started with drive time -then went to the four-hour format.
-ls Howard showing up? -Stern? -I heard he would if lmus was coming.
And lmus wasn't showing up if Howard was.
By the way, I was Dave in the Morning before he was lmus in the Morning -but that's water under the bridge.
-lsn't Don lmus in his 70s? I believe so, yes.
How were you Dave in the Morning first? It's very painful.
-I don't like to talk about it.
-Okay.
Fellas, I'm sorry, but it's Election Day and I need to check in with the polls -and whatnot.
Good meeting you.
-Good talking to you, C.
J.
-Who's that? -Jenna Jacobs.
-That's Jenna Jacobs? -Yeah.
She changed her hair.
-What's the latest? -Twelve races too close to call.
-Thompson, Marinovich.
-I'm gonna go check in.
-Good evening.
-I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life.
Chocolate syrup, cold milk and seltzer.
It sounds terrible, but I don't know where it's been all my life.
It's called an egg cream.
We invented it in Brooklyn.
-ln Brooklyn? -Yes, sir.
-Not New England? -There are good things in this world -not from New England, sir.
-Toby, don't ever say that again.
Yes, sir.
-What's on your mind? -Mr.
President, I was thinking.
-I was thinking it might-- -You wanna take a leave of absence? I was thinking I might need some time off, yes, sir.
That's no problem, T oby.
-Okay.
-It's not a problem at all.
Thank you, sir.
Fifteen minutes.
It's time to get up off the mat, T oby.
What's so wrong with having the attorney general designate potentially dangerous organizations that promote violent acts? I understand it's problematic.
There'd be no judicial review or legislative oversight, or even, for that matter Iegal finding of fact, but.
Okay, fine.
Why does it feel like this? I've seen shootings before.
This wasn't a shooting, T oby.
It was a lynching.
They tried to lynch Charlie right in front of our eyes.
Can you believe that? -What's this? -Keyhole satellite photographs.
That's the headquarters for West Virginia White Pride.
It's a diner outside Blacksburg.
Every night for the last 1 2 weeks I've picked up the phone to call the attorney general to say two words: "T ake them.
" Then I hang up, because I know it'll be better tomorrow.
And better the day after that.
We saw a lynching, T oby.
That's why it feels like this.
I'm not sure I'll come out the other side of this.
I'm not sure I can either.
But until we are sure I think we should keep coming to work every day.
How's it going with your school board guy? He's gonna win.
When you ran against him, how'd you beat him? I don't remember.
I've been thinking about it for weeks but I honestly don't remember.
-Excuse me.
Good evening.
-Hey, Sam.
I wasn't sure if you'd go to the talk radio reception.
-I scratched out some remarks for you.
-Let me look at them.
-T oby, go with us to this radio thing.
-Oh, God.
Really, sir? There'll be crab puffs.
New England crab puffs made in New England.
-It's Alaskan crab.
-Sam.
There's Alaskan crab in this White House? He would've known the difference.
-Have you tried them? -l-- Yes, reluctantly.
It was clear in the way I ate the crab puffs -that it was in protest.
-Were they good? -Extraordinarily good and going fast.
-Let's get there.
-I call myself "Gary with a G.
" -How else would you spell Gary? No other way.
That's what I call myself.
"Gary with a G talking to you on KADR a.
m.
" -Like Liza with a Z.
-Exactly.
Hokey? Maybe so.
-But I have 900,000 listeners.
-Would you excuse me? Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen? Ladies and gentlemen? The president of the United States.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thanks.
I wish I could spend more than a few minutes with you but the polls don't close in the East for another hour and there are plenty of election results still left to falsify.
With so many people participating in the political and social debate through call-in shows, it's a good idea to be reminded every once in a while.
It's a good idea to be reminded of the awesome impact.
The awesome impact.
I'm sorry.
You're Dr.
Jenna Jacobs, right? Yes, sir.
-It's good to have you here.
-Thank you.
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national discussions, but also how it can.
How it can.
Forgive me, Dr.
Jacobs, are you an MD? -A Ph.
D.
-A Ph.
D.
? -Yes, sir.
-ln psychology? -No, sir.
-Theology? -No.
-Social work? I have a Ph.
D.
in English literature.
I'm asking because on your show people call in for advice and you go by the name Dr.
Jacobs on your show and I didn't know if your listeners were confused and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology or health care.
I don't believe they are confused.
Good.
I like your show.
I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, the Bible does.
-Yes, it does.
Leviticus.
-1 8:22.
Chapter and verse.
I wanted to ask you a few questions while you were here.
I'm interested in selling my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21 :7.
She's a sophomore, speaks ltalian, always cleared the table when asked.
What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35: 2 clearly says he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's important, because we have a lot of sports fans in this town.
T ouching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean.
Leviticus 1 1 :7.
If they wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing.
While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the lgnorant Tight-ass Club, in this building, when the president stands nobody sits.
T oby? Yes, Mr.
President.
That's how I beat him.
I'm just-- I'm just gonna take that crab puff.
You want one of my animal crackers? I have elephants and I have lions.
-Are you bugging the man? -No.
-ls there a software problem? -I think I got it.
I just want to run a few programs and then I'll be out of here.
-Pretty busy day around here? -Yeah.
-My name's Charlie Young.
-I know who you are.
The man who almost got the president killed? Yeah.
That's gonna look good on my résumé.
I'll just be a minute.
-My mother used to work nights too.
-I'm sorry? My mother used to work nights too.
-Was she a nurse? -A police officer.
Is she gone? She was shot and killed in the line a year ago June.
Ironically, she wasn't supposed to be on the shift.
She switched shifts that day because I asked her to.
Hey, Charlie, you know what I think she'd say if she was here right now? -What? -The same thing my father would say.
If they' re shooting at you, you know you' re doing something right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Aren't you Zoey Bartlet? It's too much to happen to someone your age.
Your father.
Your mother.
And then this.
I don't know.
Charlie, I mean what do you do? I was gonna go vote.
-I could come.
-Yeah.
-Hi.
-Hi, Leo.
-I'm looking for the president.
-ls anything wrong? No.
I think he may have done a couple of numbers -at the talk radio reception.
-Okay.
Zoey and I are going out.
I'll be on my pager.
You're going out? You're taking extra protection, right? -Hey, Leo, l-- -Secret Service protection, Charlie but thanks for loading me up with that image.
-We'll have extra protection.
-Okay.
Something about a dead pig's skin.
I need to find him.
Everybody should stay inside for three months so that they truly appreciate the outdoors.
I appreciate the outdoors now.
I' m an outdoorsman.
Josh, I said I'd let you outside if you stopped talking about being an outdoorsman and theoretical physics.
You thought I'd forget about it.
Banner headline, five days ago: "Model for the Unified Theory Solved.
" Banner headline in The New York Times.
-You said it wasn't news.
-You' re wearing my pajamas.
T ake your coat off.
Let me see.
-Those are too big.
-Yes, they are.
All this time working together, did you also think I was playing power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers? -I think they look good on you.
-I think you' re both freaks.
-What do you have? -You won't believe it.
How'd they go? Twelve races.
In none of them did the incumbent win.
In none did the party that previously held the seat win.
You know how it went? -You're kidding.
-Seven Republicans, five Democrats? -Yeah.
-The House stayed the same? After four months and $400 million -everything stayed the same? -Yeah.
T ell me democracy doesn't have a sense of humor.
We sit here, we drink this beer out here on this stoop in violation of about I don't know, T oby, it's election night.
What do you say about a government that protects even citizens that try to destroy it? God bless America.
God bless America.
-God bless America.
-God bless America.
God bless America.
-You're getting death threats.
-Are they white supremacists? -I know what l' m looking for.
-What happened? -It's a gunshot wound.
No exit.
-lt didn't hit anything.
They'll make sure.
The guy the Secret Service have in custody is Carl Leroy.
A bullet collapsed your lung.
I'm trying to re-expand it.
He tried to kill the president because Zoey and I are together? Charlie, the president wasn't the target.
It's called the "Theory of Everything.
" -The Theory of Everything? - Yes.
Is it comprehensive? That was a joke there, pal of mine.
-Lead with this.
-l' m missing the OMB stats.
-They' re coming.
-C.
J.
, lead with this.
-l' m not leading with it.
-Yes, you are.
-Okay.
-So you got it? -Sure.
-So you got what you' re saying? -Also the EPA.
-The committee isn't out till 3:00.
-Say it for me.
-He's making me crazy.
-I heard that.
-I know how a speakerphone works.
-Say it for me.
-I have to get to the briefing room.
Say it, please.
" Psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab are close to-- Physicists.
Theoretical physicists at Caltech.
-Not psychics? -No.
-I should jot that down.
-Please.
If it was psychics I'd lead with it.
T alk to you later, Mi amor.
-The OMB stats.
-Thanks.
You can set them down.
Let Josh rant a little before you hang up the phone.
-C.
J.
? -Yes, ma'am.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics is gonna report the CPl jumped 0.
7%.
It's the biggest one-month increase since they started tracking in '52.
Let me say this: The market basket used to calculate the CPl is antiquated-- Say outdated.
And doesn't include some household items like computers-- Where prices are always dropping.
And doesn't reflect technical improvements like air bags in automobiles which increase the price of the car but provide a greater value to the consumer.
Got it? Let's find out.
Mention the underwriting changes for the Federal Housing Administration.
The networks will want special coverage.
The adjustments are in FHA-related lending.
They'll need time to put together a logo and music.
-The Bureau of Labor Statistics-- -Reported the CPl jumped 0.
7%.
-Thank you.
-C.
J.
? -Holy interruptus, Batman.
-Grant Samuels died.
-Really? He's really dead this time? -Yeah.
-Last time you said he was, he wasn't.
-He is this time.
-Somebody poked him to see if-- -He died.
-Then I shouldn't have made a joke.
-I'm almost certain he's dead.
I was making a joke too.
What, you work alone? He's survived by his wife, Eileen, son, Robert two daughters and eight grandchildren.
-I won't learn their names.
-Fine.
Eileen, Robert, Priscilla, Patty.
-I assume it was complications due to? -Yeah.
You know about theoretical physics? -The Grand Unified Theory.
-Know anything about it? -No.
-Okay.
Folks, please take your seats.
The briefing will start now.
Good morning.
I have to start with a sad announcement.
Congressman Grant Samuels finally succumbed to pneumonia.
His wife, Eileen, his son, Robert, his daughters Priscilla and Patty and his eight grandchildren are all in the president's thoughts.
I also want to talk about the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Federal Housing Administration.
And as a special treat for Josh Lyman, who's recovering very nicely at GW the president's science adviser is saying that psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab.
I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be "physicists.
" -Eighty-one percent.
-And all we had to do was get shot at.
-81 %.
-Those numbers are soft.
-You think? -You don't? The job approval was at 51.
We got shot at, it's 81.
The numbers are soft.
Still, 81 %.
-Good morning, Mr.
President.
-Good morning, everybody.
Anybody know what the word "acalculia" means? It's an inability to perform arithmetic functions.
Sorry.
You wanted to answer that.
-Yeah, but I'll get over it.
-That's mature.
-Shut up.
-You're not over it? -No.
-Okay.
-Did we really poll at 81 %? -Those are CNN/USA Today.
-It's soft.
-No.
When asked "Whose approach on national problems do you think is best Bartlet or the Republican leaders of Congress, " Bartlet gets 61 %.
Well, 1 9% of the country has made up their minds about me.
is what you want if you' re president.
-Give us an overview.
-We have a shot to take back the House.
That and getting two seats net in the Senate.
And two governorships and six State Houses.
-Where should we look? -lndiana 6th, California 4th and 1 4th.
-Michigan 1 2th.
-T exas 1 2th.
Florida 4, 5 and 9.
We won't elect a Democrat in the Florida 9th.
-Sorry, Florida 8th.
-They won't elect one there either but let's put some time into it.
What else? -I can hold or you can call me back.
-An inability to do arithmetic functions.
Apparently there's a specialized circuit in the brain for numbers.
-Know where it is? -Sorry? -It's in the left parietal lobe.
-Thank you.
-Hey, Zoey.
-Hey.
Where's Mrs.
Landingham? A funeral.
President's in there.
I'm here to see him, not my father.
-Do you know what acalculia means? -Yes, because I got it at breakfast.
-Okay.
-Thank you.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Mrs.
Landingham asked me to ask you to call T echnical Support and have them look at her computer.
Ask for Andrew Mackintosh.
-She only trusts him.
-Mackintosh? -Like the apple.
-Sure.
Thank you.
-I called you last night.
-I got home late.
-Where were you? -Here.
-I called here too.
-I'm not lying to you.
I don't think you're lying.
I think you were here or didn't return my call.
I was here, I got no message.
I was home, I got it.
-lt was too late to call you.
-I don't mind being woken up.
Well, now I know that.
-Now you know that? -Excuse me.
We haven't been dating for nine months? I've got to go in there.
Cumberland, Monroe, possibly Stanwyck.
Since you brought them up, can I say a word about the shooting? -The honeymoon's about to be over.
-She's right.
We don't wanna look like we're taking advantage of the situation.
-Why not? -Why not what? The country was a victim of domestic terrorism.
Why not use the numbers before they disappear and go after the guns and go after the hate groups? -lt doesn't look good.
-Looks good to me.
You work for the White House, we were counting on your support either way.
For questions about the midterms, say, "We haven't thought that far ahead.
" And when they ask about the link between approval numbers and the shooting, the president's deeply gratified by the public's support -but eager to focus on the issues.
-Which will be? I'll let you know.
Thank you very much, everyone.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Mr.
President.
It's fine.
Tell him around 3:00.
Was Zoey out there? -Yes.
-ls she still here? -I don't know, sir.
-Okay.
-Leo? -Yes, sir? Did you know Elliot Roush is running for school board in Manchester? I didn't, sir, but then I don't know who Elliot Roush is.
-My Elliot Roush.
-Sorry, sir.
I'm still not-- I beat him in my first congressional campaign.
I can't believe I didn't commit that arcane information to memory.
I want polling numbers on that race.
I don't want you focusing your attention on a New Hampshire school board race.
Because looking at two numbers takes the life out of me.
-I know where this is going.
-Get me the numbers.
I' m ready to go out there.
I don't need to wait another week.
Sir, let's play a game of "Who Do You Think I'm Gonna Agree With? " before assuming a campaign schedule.
Who will I agree with? -Get away from me.
-Yes, sir.
Sam? -ls he here? -Want me to bring him back? I'll go get him myself.
-T om? -Sam.
-Hello.
-Hope you weren't waiting long.
No.
I mean, I don't mind.
Sam, this is my wife, Sarah.
-Hi.
-It's nice to meet you.
-You got married.
-Two years, with a baby on the way.
-ls it his? -Yeah.
-Okay.
Follow me.
-Okay.
Tom and I had a professor at Duke who couldn't stand me.
"Those may be your thoughts, Mr.
Seaborn, but that's not the law.
" I wanted to tell him to take the law and shove it up-- -You ever been in the White House? -No.
-We were looking forward to a tour.
-That's my office over there the president works in that round room there and no one else matters.
Come on in.
-This is the Mural Room.
-Can you tell us anything about it? It's called the Mural Room.
Have a seat.
-You know why I wanted to talk to you? -I really don't.
Because the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee asked me to.
-Grant Samuels died a few days ago.
-We saw on the news.
He wasn't gonna run again because he was sick and the man who'd run in his place-- -Seymour Wirthin? -Right.
Isn't going to.
He's not running? You're a phenomenally attractive Democratic candidate for that district.
There are 1 62 games in a baseball season and the players have a saying: " Every team wins and loses 54 games.
It's the other 54 games that count.
" In your district, the other 54 games are women.
Specifically, young mothers, among whom the number one issue is crime.
You' re a graduate of Oberlin and Duke Law.
You passed up lucrative opportunities to work for the D.
A.
You're a prosecutor with an exceptional conviction record and nobody can say you' re soft on crime.
You' re active in local politics.
You are personable.
You are articulate and energetic.
You are married and you are having a baby.
-I thought you didn't know that.
-Sorry? Out there, it seemed like you didn't know he was married with a baby coming and now it sounded like you already knew that.
Sarah, there's very little information about him I don't have.
And tell your mom happy birthday for me.
You'll have the weight of the Democratic National Committee the Congressional Campaign Committee, the minority leader whom we hope to make the majority leader, and the president.
What do you say? You wanna run for Congress? There's a lot to consider, Sam.
-How much time do I have to consider it? -Five minutes.
I'll be outside.
-You're pissed at me? -I could've used your support.
I support you like you support me, when I agree with you or when I don't care what you say.
This time I disagreed.
We shouldn't use this to get aggressive about guns and hate groups? We were victims of a crime and it's unseemly to use this moment at all.
We' re not taking advantage of anyone! And even if we were, who cares? Every Republican trying for the next T oby, if you and the FBl wanna go after hate groups I' m not the one you have to convince.
Bag the president.
I will.
I've gotten calls about pieces people wanna do on how staffers are handling the shooting and the aftermath.
-Psychologically? -Yeah.
-It's not a good idea.
-We' re not the story.
That's what l' m saying.
Leave me alone.
I've got it.
I've got it.
I've got it.
I've got it.
Bonnie.
Ginger.
I've got it.
-Excellent.
-Way to go.
Sam? Sam? -Sam? -Right here.
-I thought you were in there.
-I wasn't.
-I've got it.
-Got what? How to avoid the appearance that we're randomly going after extremist groups -in violation of their civil liberties.
-We can avoid that by not doing it.
Yes, or with this: the shooting was the action of not one, but at least three card-carrying members of West Virginia White Pride.
-They have cards? -What? -They have membership cards? -Who the hell knows? It's an expression.
The key phrase is "at least.
" At least three members.
-There might be more.
-So the FBl has grounds to investigate-- Yes, to investigate the activities of all extremist organizations.
Under a cover of investigating this crime.
How do we know that Young Nazis of Delaware weren't coconspirators? It's a common way to get around the Bill of Rights.
-l' m surprised it took you so long.
-I had no help from anyone else.
-I'm taking it to Leo.
-Go ahead.
-Donna? -Yes? -You going to see Josh? -I'm taking him lunch.
-Can I come? -No.
-You know the rules.
-They're dumb.
-They are not dumb.
-Seriously-- I'm serious.
He's recovering from an attempted murder he's supposed to rest.
I don't want people getting him fartusht.
Don't bring the Yiddish.
You know what word should be Yiddish? Spatula.
-Also "far-fetched.
" -I need to talk about-- How to bring the hate crimes to the president.
He's got the papers you wrote and materials you sent.
-You talk on the phone 93 times a day.
-I'd like to talk to him at his apartment.
-No.
-Donna.
Maybe if you hadn't said the rules were dumb.
Yeah.
-Hey, Leo.
-Hey, kid.
-I was looking for my dad.
-He's making campaign calls.
-He's not in the office.
-He's doing it from the residence.
-Why? -Your father has a strict interpretation of something called the Pendleton Act, which prohibits campaign donations to be solicited on government property.
It's a little impractical for the president to use a pay phone, isn't it? -Exactly.
-lsn't the residence government property? -Yes.
-Then why? Because your father is a demented, demented man.
I'm going over there.
-Leo, do you feel like Charlie's--? -No.
-Sir-- -Forty-six percent.
-Yes, sir.
-The guy is polling at 46%.
I didn't think they had data on people running for the board of education.
They don't.
I had to have our guys do it.
Sir, do you think you're obsessed with this race? He's polling at 46%.
He's not a joke.
He's polling inside the margin.
In a race in a school district that has 43 kids.
It has 1 1 00 kids.
And you don't take these people seriously because they don't get anywhere nationally.
All they have to do is, bit by little bit get onto boards of education and city councils.
That's where all the governing that matters really happens.
-We do some governing here.
-l' m on hold with a guy whose name I've got on an index card.
How much governing is going on around here today? -And can you believe I'm on hold? -You finished the call.
-I did? -Yes, sir.
-How'd it go? -Very well.
-Good morning, Mr.
President.
-Elliot Roush is now polling at 46%.
How do you know? You had our people check.
I have three daughters who grew up there.
-Leave him alone.
You beat him already.
-And he has come back.
Like crabgrass pulled from the lawn.
Not by the root, but by the other thing.
-I wanted to see how the calls are going.
-They' re going fine.
-Then I'll leave.
-Can't tell you how much I'll miss you.
-You wanted to talk to me? -Not if you're in this mood.
This is real.
A man who makes the Spanish lnquisition look like a Barbara Walters special is now polling at 46% in your school district for which I have personally baked things to raise money.
-You can go too.
-You baked things? -You can go.
-Thank you.
-What do you want? -Dad, listen.
Do you think Charlie? The calls are going well.
We're still getting asked to do aftermath stories.
-Psychological effects? -Yeah.
I was-- -Don't do it.
-No, I know.
I was wondering-- You were wondering what? -This won't be good.
-You were wondering what? -Don't worry about it.
-Okay.
Hey, it's C.
J.
Cregg.
Step three: public disclosure of membership and contributor rolls for all organizations on the list of hate groups.
This allows the public to know who these people are and where their funding is from.
And to do it in violation of their right to free association.
Laws like that were passed during the civil rights movement to root out members of such terrorist organizations as the NAACP.
The Supreme Court said those laws were unconstitutional.
That was a Warren Court that struck those down.
-They'd see it differently today.
-You' re an ultra-activist.
And I was shot at, and so l' m acting right now.
Sam? He wants everyone to register affiliation with the FBl.
-Any First Amendment problems? -I'll get around them.
I need to talk to you.
-What's up? -There's a problem with your friend.
-Which friend? -T om Jordan.
-What's wrong? -His prosecutorial record.
-His prosecutorial record is great.
-Not during jury selection.
Preemptive challenges? Your friend likes white juries for black defendants.
-He's a prosecutor.
-Not now.
Now he's a politician -and this needs a save, so get into it.
-Yeah.
-How did T okyo open? -I think up 3/8, but let me check again.
-ls that it for me? -You've got phone calls still to make.
Wengland? Frank Gates and MacNamara? -Yes, sir.
-Those are campaign calls.
Why don't you just stay in your office and make the damn--? Because I choose not to, Charlie.
Because however an empty gesture it may seem I would like to take notice of the notion that it's not a good idea for the most powerful person in the world to be calling up the people whose laws he signs and asking them for money! I' m gonna do it, but not behind this desk.
Not in this room.
What else? I was asked to tell you that an event was added for T uesday the 7th.
A reception for talk radio.
Hosts, I guess they' re called.
It's three weeks away.
You don't need to commit right now.
Yeah.
I'll make these calls from the residence.
-T ell C.
J.
I wanna see her in an hour.
-Yes, sir.
Hello.
Are you a Cabinet secretary? -Can you tell me your name? -Jeffrey.
-Jeffrey what? -Jeffrey Mackintosh.
-Like the apple? -Yeah.
You' re here with your dad? Excuse me, l' m sorry.
When I tell you to sit and stay put, you know what I need you to do? That.
I need you to do that.
Not some variation on that, but that.
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
Okay, see, now I got to make you rewire the house.
I' m Andrew Mackintosh from T echnical Support.
-l' m installing-- -I thought that was weeks ago.
-lt was, but there were some bugs.
-Okay.
They said it was okay to bring my son.
My wife works nights.
-Sure.
-Let's go, big man.
-T ake it easy, Jeffrey.
-T ake it easy.
-Hey, man.
-Hey.
-Leo? -Sam, come in.
Close the door.
-What's up? -Josh is on speaker.
-Hey, Sam.
-What's going on? A guy who went to college with T om says he was in an all-white fraternity.
-The papers are carrying it tomorrow.
-I checked that weeks ago.
It wasn't an exclusive fraternity, they just didn't have any black pledges.
It's common to have black fraternities and white fraternities.
But you put this together with the preemptive challenges in voir dire and leaders in African-American communities have a problem.
-I'll talk to them.
-No, it's over, Sam.
I' m gonna cancel the president's stop and shut down the money.
-You can't cut and run.
-There's no choice.
-We have a choice.
-We've got a chance at the House.
Leo must put the president and money where it can win.
-T om Jordan is running against a man-- -Don't tell me.
-We'll hand it to him.
-lt won't matter if we get the House.
Jordan is down by seven and he's not gonna come back from this.
And if we stand by him, this is a national thing.
It could drag down black turnout in districts where we' re competitive.
-I told him.
-Yeah.
I told him we would stand behind him.
I told him he'd have our full support.
-I was asked to ask him to run.
-I know.
We walk away now, that's it.
He's a racist.
The White House just said so.
We can't afford all the things we want, Sam.
It's over.
Hey, Leo.
You know, there 's something called the "Superstring Theory" which says that the universe consists of these tiny loops of string that vibrate at different frequencies.
How did that bullet not kill you? -Just lucky, I guess.
-Yeah.
-T oby? -Yeah.
Any chance I can see an advance copy of the president's remarks for Asia-Pacific? -What? -Asia-Pacific? I have a draft here.
I' m gonna rewrite it.
-I thought I'd have it by today.
-Day's not over.
These pieces everyone wants to do on the aftermath of the shooting they've had me thinking.
Do you think there is a psychological aftermath we' re not paying attention to? -I don't have time for this conversation.
-You should have this conversation.
-You think my problem is psychological? -You've been ignoring responsibilities -That's crap.
-so you can act like the FBl director.
I'm waiting for the director of the FBl to behave that way.
I'm waiting for the Justice Department and Congress to behave that way.
I' m waiting for the White House to behave that way! Wanna lock up everybody with a white sheet? Yes, I do.
Who has a problem with that? Bring them to me right now.
Yes, I do.
-He's ready for me? -ln the residence.
Thank you.
I'll be here for a while, so whenever you can get me Asia-Pacific.
Give me an hour.
Come in.
-Good evening, Mr.
President.
-Hi, C.
J.
-Charlie said you wanted to see me.
-Yeah.
Why has there been no press mention of the fact that Elliot Roush was an opponent of mine in New Hampshire? -Elliot Roush is the man-- -He's running in Manchester.
-I'm sure it's gotten some local coverage.
-Why isn't it more than local? -It's a school board seat.
-It's a human interest story.
Not a very interesting one.
I' m saying if anyone in the press room wanted to do this story that I would comment on-the-record.
Sir.
The president can't publicly take sides in a local school board election.
-Why can't he? -Because it's not done.
And it's not fair.
It's personal.
And it's irresponsible.
It will galvanize Republicans.
Democrats will think you don't care about winning back the House.
I don't care about winning back the House! I don't! Well, I don't believe that's true so let's just keep that between you and me.
C.
J.
I've known men of faith in my life.
Towering men.
Men of wisdom and compassion.
Men of all faiths.
Of healing and peace.
Pro-choice.
Pro-life.
Republican.
Democrat.
Men and women of God.
Elliot Roush is polling at 53%.
He's polling at 53%.
He's the front-runner.
Then that's the way it is.
In a democracy, oftentimes other people win.
Yeah.
It was just a thought.
-But, I mean, obviously you're right.
-Yes, sir.
Thanks.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
-Ginger? -They're still too close to call.
-All 1 2? -Yes.
Get me somebody in the Midwest.
I wanna see everybody on telephones.
Okay, good.
Just like that.
God.
T om, Sarah.
I'm sorry, I forgot I was.
-I'm sorry.
I'm glad you could make it.
-lt was no problem coming, Sam.
Turns out there was really no reason for us to stay in our district.
Yeah.
You've seen the exits.
You're gonna lose, T om.
-No kidding.
-Probably 58-42.
-Yeah.
-42% is a very respectable number.
-The district's 49% Democrat, Sam.
-Well, we'll get them next time.
Shut up.
There's not gonna be a next time, so shut up.
Not even a word from the White House.
-Not even a word.
-That's how we do it.
Sam? Any time we have the opportunity in the future to screw you count on getting screwed.
Good luck with the baby.
No, that was K- TALK out of Minneapolis.
You' re thinking of SLAM-1 00 in the Great Lakes area.
-The number one station.
-But then it was classic rock.
Or what our program director thought was classic rock.
Fleetwood Mac.
Then they switched over to news and information back in.
'82? -'82, '83.
-We started with drive time -then went to the four-hour format.
-ls Howard showing up? -Stern? -I heard he would if lmus was coming.
And lmus wasn't showing up if Howard was.
By the way, I was Dave in the Morning before he was lmus in the Morning -but that's water under the bridge.
-lsn't Don lmus in his 70s? I believe so, yes.
How were you Dave in the Morning first? It's very painful.
-I don't like to talk about it.
-Okay.
Fellas, I'm sorry, but it's Election Day and I need to check in with the polls -and whatnot.
Good meeting you.
-Good talking to you, C.
J.
-Who's that? -Jenna Jacobs.
-That's Jenna Jacobs? -Yeah.
She changed her hair.
-What's the latest? -Twelve races too close to call.
-Thompson, Marinovich.
-I'm gonna go check in.
-Good evening.
-I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life.
Chocolate syrup, cold milk and seltzer.
It sounds terrible, but I don't know where it's been all my life.
It's called an egg cream.
We invented it in Brooklyn.
-ln Brooklyn? -Yes, sir.
-Not New England? -There are good things in this world -not from New England, sir.
-Toby, don't ever say that again.
Yes, sir.
-What's on your mind? -Mr.
President, I was thinking.
-I was thinking it might-- -You wanna take a leave of absence? I was thinking I might need some time off, yes, sir.
That's no problem, T oby.
-Okay.
-It's not a problem at all.
Thank you, sir.
Fifteen minutes.
It's time to get up off the mat, T oby.
What's so wrong with having the attorney general designate potentially dangerous organizations that promote violent acts? I understand it's problematic.
There'd be no judicial review or legislative oversight, or even, for that matter Iegal finding of fact, but.
Okay, fine.
Why does it feel like this? I've seen shootings before.
This wasn't a shooting, T oby.
It was a lynching.
They tried to lynch Charlie right in front of our eyes.
Can you believe that? -What's this? -Keyhole satellite photographs.
That's the headquarters for West Virginia White Pride.
It's a diner outside Blacksburg.
Every night for the last 1 2 weeks I've picked up the phone to call the attorney general to say two words: "T ake them.
" Then I hang up, because I know it'll be better tomorrow.
And better the day after that.
We saw a lynching, T oby.
That's why it feels like this.
I'm not sure I'll come out the other side of this.
I'm not sure I can either.
But until we are sure I think we should keep coming to work every day.
How's it going with your school board guy? He's gonna win.
When you ran against him, how'd you beat him? I don't remember.
I've been thinking about it for weeks but I honestly don't remember.
-Excuse me.
Good evening.
-Hey, Sam.
I wasn't sure if you'd go to the talk radio reception.
-I scratched out some remarks for you.
-Let me look at them.
-T oby, go with us to this radio thing.
-Oh, God.
Really, sir? There'll be crab puffs.
New England crab puffs made in New England.
-It's Alaskan crab.
-Sam.
There's Alaskan crab in this White House? He would've known the difference.
-Have you tried them? -l-- Yes, reluctantly.
It was clear in the way I ate the crab puffs -that it was in protest.
-Were they good? -Extraordinarily good and going fast.
-Let's get there.
-I call myself "Gary with a G.
" -How else would you spell Gary? No other way.
That's what I call myself.
"Gary with a G talking to you on KADR a.
m.
" -Like Liza with a Z.
-Exactly.
Hokey? Maybe so.
-But I have 900,000 listeners.
-Would you excuse me? Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen? Ladies and gentlemen? The president of the United States.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thanks.
I wish I could spend more than a few minutes with you but the polls don't close in the East for another hour and there are plenty of election results still left to falsify.
With so many people participating in the political and social debate through call-in shows, it's a good idea to be reminded every once in a while.
It's a good idea to be reminded of the awesome impact.
The awesome impact.
I'm sorry.
You're Dr.
Jenna Jacobs, right? Yes, sir.
-It's good to have you here.
-Thank you.
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national discussions, but also how it can.
How it can.
Forgive me, Dr.
Jacobs, are you an MD? -A Ph.
D.
-A Ph.
D.
? -Yes, sir.
-ln psychology? -No, sir.
-Theology? -No.
-Social work? I have a Ph.
D.
in English literature.
I'm asking because on your show people call in for advice and you go by the name Dr.
Jacobs on your show and I didn't know if your listeners were confused and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology or health care.
I don't believe they are confused.
Good.
I like your show.
I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, the Bible does.
-Yes, it does.
Leviticus.
-1 8:22.
Chapter and verse.
I wanted to ask you a few questions while you were here.
I'm interested in selling my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21 :7.
She's a sophomore, speaks ltalian, always cleared the table when asked.
What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35: 2 clearly says he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's important, because we have a lot of sports fans in this town.
T ouching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean.
Leviticus 1 1 :7.
If they wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing.
While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the lgnorant Tight-ass Club, in this building, when the president stands nobody sits.
T oby? Yes, Mr.
President.
That's how I beat him.
I'm just-- I'm just gonna take that crab puff.
You want one of my animal crackers? I have elephants and I have lions.
-Are you bugging the man? -No.
-ls there a software problem? -I think I got it.
I just want to run a few programs and then I'll be out of here.
-Pretty busy day around here? -Yeah.
-My name's Charlie Young.
-I know who you are.
The man who almost got the president killed? Yeah.
That's gonna look good on my résumé.
I'll just be a minute.
-My mother used to work nights too.
-I'm sorry? My mother used to work nights too.
-Was she a nurse? -A police officer.
Is she gone? She was shot and killed in the line a year ago June.
Ironically, she wasn't supposed to be on the shift.
She switched shifts that day because I asked her to.
Hey, Charlie, you know what I think she'd say if she was here right now? -What? -The same thing my father would say.
If they' re shooting at you, you know you' re doing something right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Aren't you Zoey Bartlet? It's too much to happen to someone your age.
Your father.
Your mother.
And then this.
I don't know.
Charlie, I mean what do you do? I was gonna go vote.
-I could come.
-Yeah.
-Hi.
-Hi, Leo.
-I'm looking for the president.
-ls anything wrong? No.
I think he may have done a couple of numbers -at the talk radio reception.
-Okay.
Zoey and I are going out.
I'll be on my pager.
You're going out? You're taking extra protection, right? -Hey, Leo, l-- -Secret Service protection, Charlie but thanks for loading me up with that image.
-We'll have extra protection.
-Okay.
Something about a dead pig's skin.
I need to find him.
Everybody should stay inside for three months so that they truly appreciate the outdoors.
I appreciate the outdoors now.
I' m an outdoorsman.
Josh, I said I'd let you outside if you stopped talking about being an outdoorsman and theoretical physics.
You thought I'd forget about it.
Banner headline, five days ago: "Model for the Unified Theory Solved.
" Banner headline in The New York Times.
-You said it wasn't news.
-You' re wearing my pajamas.
T ake your coat off.
Let me see.
-Those are too big.
-Yes, they are.
All this time working together, did you also think I was playing power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers? -I think they look good on you.
-I think you' re both freaks.
-What do you have? -You won't believe it.
How'd they go? Twelve races.
In none of them did the incumbent win.
In none did the party that previously held the seat win.
You know how it went? -You're kidding.
-Seven Republicans, five Democrats? -Yeah.
-The House stayed the same? After four months and $400 million -everything stayed the same? -Yeah.
T ell me democracy doesn't have a sense of humor.
We sit here, we drink this beer out here on this stoop in violation of about I don't know, T oby, it's election night.
What do you say about a government that protects even citizens that try to destroy it? God bless America.
God bless America.
-God bless America.
-God bless America.
God bless America.