Top Gear (US) s02e03 Episode Script
America's Strongest Pickup
Now on Top Gear It's all about America's strongest vehicles Tanner takes a new off road and deep into the swamp to race an .
Races around our track.
And we find over which is the toughest heavy duty truck in America.
Trucks.
They make up more than half the vehicle sales for the U.
S.
, but which one is king? We each chose what we thought was the biggest, baddest truck in the country and took them into the desert for a showdown.
Adam chose the ram 3500.
Tanner chose the Ford F-450.
And I brought the Chevy HD3500.
You know what vehicle the secret service chose to underpin the new presidential limo, nicknamed "the beast"? Oh, it may look like a Cadillac on the outside, but underneath, it's all Chevy truck, as if you needed any more convincing that this is the best heavy-duty truck.
Oh, gentlemen, you've finally been outgunned.
For once, I landed the king of the hill in one of these challenges.
Please.
That? Yeah.
How do you figure? You know that this is the truck that, first of all, outsells both of these almost two to one.
Justin Bieber can pack a full house at a concert.
That doesn't mean I'm going.
Okay, that's right.
You're right.
You're right.
It's all really about the numbers 24,400 pounds.
When are you gonna need to tow 24,000 I tow my trailer.
When do you tow anything? Two race cars in a big-ass trailer.
You don't tow that! You fly.
You get in the car, you drive, and you fly home.
There's somebody towing that, and I had to get the truck.
What can the dodge do? It's not even a dodge anymore.
It's a ram.
You mean dodge was so embarrassed by it, they were like, "we can't even put our own name on it"? Dodge was embarrassed by a tough truck? No.
This truck was so tough, it was asked to leave.
They told this truck, "excuse me You're frightening minivans.
" "All the caravans are crying.
You're gonna have to go.
" Guys, you clearly didn't notice that I brought the Chevy HD.
I mean, that's the coolest one.
You think? It's like an Escalade in there.
Do you have air-conditioned seats? Yes.
You know why? 'Cause you have ass sweat.
I'm hardworking.
I'm out there getting it done.
I might need air-conditioned seats.
[Laughs.]
What are you getting done? The Chevy HD, out there getting it done.
[Laughs.]
Like 800 foot-pounds of torque.
Anybody got anything over that? I've got 765.
Hmm.
But I'm telling you, that sucker's fast.
The Ford is quick.
Even with a trailer, it pulls like a freight train.
How fast is it? It's quick.
I think we should find out which truck is the quickest.
Really? You thinking what I'm thinking? Drag race? Three wide.
It is on.
Let's go.
It is on.
Foust: My Ford had 400 horsepower.
Rutledge's Chevy had 397, so we were pretty evenly matched.
Adam Not so much.
Okay, I have six cylinders.
I'm gonna lose.
I know I'm gonna lose.
The only question is by how much.
The key to any good drag race is the launch.
I'm gonna start in second gear with a little bit of a burnout.
Just gonna see how that goes.
Okay, gentlemen, you ready? Tallyho.
Ready.
Okay.
And we'll do it in 3 2 1Go.
Not the best start.
Come on, baby.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Oh, yes! No! Come on! Shift, shift, shift! Oh, my God.
40, 50.
Shift! Come on.
800 foot-pounds of torque.
800 foot-pounds of torque.
Rocket ship! 60, 65.
Shift! Oh, it's so close! Come on, Chevy! Shift! Thank you.
Oh, so soon? 75, 80.
I'm nosing it! Noooooooo! I beat the Ford! Yeah! That's like a rock, baby! Foust: I'm thinking the burnout was a bad idea on my part because you beat me by like 4 inches.
Are you I had you at least a car length.
It was probably less than Hey, Adam, you're back.
How you doing? Adam, did you go when Tanner counted? All right, all right.
Tanner, it doesn't matter whether you win by an inch or you win by a mile.
Those are nascar words, aren't they? No.
It was Vin Diesel in the first "fast and the furious.
" Ruedge can keep his Chevy.
For me, it's all about the Ford.
Okay.
I have had five super-duty trucks.
I've had F-350s.
I've had the earlier version, two of the F-450s, and now I have a super-duty 350 with this motor.
And I think the Ford super-duty can do just about everything well, and I think it's the best workhorse money can buy.
Thank you.
No! You got to be kidding me! By an inch or a mile.
And where were you? I was making sure you guys were keeping it fair.
I have six cylinders.
You guys should have beat me by a lot more than that.
You kidding me? But it was like 3 inches.
It's a long, sad story.
You still lost.
The point is, we went like 80 miles an hour.
That's like a horsepower test.
That's not even a torque test.
Trucks are, like, about torque.
Well, you have more horsepower than me, so either way Either way, you lost the test.
No, it's heavy.
It's 8,000-pound truck.
It's way heavier than mine.
That's why.
That's why I won.
Yeah.
So, what are you trying to say? I'm just saying that with trucks, it's about torque, and for torque, it's the twisting power.
It's like smoking tires, burnout, pulling trailers.
So, what you're saying in a roundabout way is you would like a burnout test? I think a burnout competition.
Really? Because it's about torque.
You want to run double 11s? Double 11s with the Duallys.
Longest one wins? Yes.
Your honor.
I'm up? You're up.
All right.
This is gonna be a big fail.
Wood: To find out which of our trucks could apply the most power to the ground, we conducted a very scientific test.
You guys ready? Ferrara: You ready? Light 'em up! Left foot on the brake, and I'm just gonna mash the accelerator.
[Engine revs.]
What? Doesn't look good.
What? Hold on one second! I got to get it squared up! What is he saying? I don't know.
Where's he going? I don't know.
That didn't work, so plan "b.
" I find it hard to believe a truck with 760 foot-pounds of torque cannot spin the tires.
I thought he would at least break them loose.
Your truck will break them loose, right? Yeah.
What is he He's backing up.
The shame.
He's gonna do this Oh, that's funny.
You're killing me! Oh! [Laughs.]
Whoo! Can you see them? That was depressing.
Look at that! Yeah! Must be 30 feet! Look at them.
They're great.
[Laughing.]
They're great.
Those are That's not your Adam, do you think you could do a burnout with your diesel truck? Watch and learn.
Are you gonna stand here while he does this? No.
Hell, no.
Seen this before.
Ferrara: Okay.
I got to be honest with you.
I don't think this thing will break them loose.
I'm gonna try.
He's got, what, 8 pounds of torque? Hit it! Do your worst, buddy.
I'm sorry in advance.
Oh! He [Laughs.]
Okay, now your truck sucks.
I'll be honest with you.
That's a lot better than I thought.
Look at that.
It goes two lines.
It goes all the way to the second line.
I mean, my marks are so dark, it's hard to tell.
Whatever.
Easy to get them confused.
18, 19, still going.
Ferrara: Look at that.
I don't know what that means in distance, though.
24 little Tanner feet? 24 big, giant [Laughs.]
I'm gonna go do a burnout.
Ferrara: Coming up, it's Tanner's turn to see if he has the toughest truck.
America! America! Wood: We were in the midst of our America's toughest truck challenge.
I nosed out Tanner to win the drag race.
Then, to find out which one of our trucks had the most torque, we conducted a very scientific longest-burnout test.
Wood: What do you think? Here's the problem It's him, you know, so he can do this kind of stuff.
So, it's really not fair.
Traction control off.
A/C off.
You guys good? I think you've got no chance.
I think he's got you beat.
Well, I think I did mine forward.
I think that should count for something.
[Speaks indistinctly.]
What's he doing now? Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now you're just showing off.
Now you're just showing off! America! America! America! Not funny! I get it.
We get it, okay? I get it.
You win.
Oh, you're awesome.
Come on.
Really? [Coughs.]
[Laughing.]
Still going.
I'm gonna go get some coffee, okay? I'll be back in a little bit! [Cheers and applause.]
That didn't feel just a little bit over-the-top? Nope.
I didn't do that to you when I beat you in the drag race.
You just said that to point out you beat me in the drag race, didn't you? I did.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I think we can all agree that the F-450 is the best dually on the planet, yes? [Cheers and applause.]
But if you think that was tough, take a look at this.
This is the rally fighter from a company called local motors.
Now, this is an actual production car, one of 30 made.
I got a chance to drive the prototype.
They claim it can handle anything, so I took it to the most hostile environment on the planet.
Foust: To find the largest swamp in the U.
S.
, you have to head deep into the damp, dark heart of Southern Louisiana.
There lies the at Chafalaya swamp, 600,000 acres of slow-moving water and lush vegetation.
These low-lying wetlands are in constant evolution and are home to hundreds of species, including thousands of alligators, numerous poisonous snakes, several Billion mosquitoes, and A few crazy locals.
So, I had the location.
Now I needed something to race the rally fighter against.
It's a bit of a weird place, the swamp.
It's not a place you'd normally drive.
But there is one local motor that's perfect for the swamp.
[Engine revs.]
An airboat.
An airboat is a simple machine, not much more than a tin tray with an engine and propeller bolted on it.
In engineering terms, it's about as complicated as a sledgehammer, but it's incredibly effective at getting through unpassable areas.
This is not your normal airboat.
Look at it.
This is the Godzilla of airboats.
This thing has won airboat competitions.
That's right.
There are airboat competitions.
It's got a V-8 that's supercharged with 800 horsepower.
It's unbelievable.
There's one thing that everybody knows in the swamp.
Airboats are difficult to drive.
So, to handle a beast like this, we needed the most skilled driver, which is this guy.
Stan Floyd owns and runs American airboats and has been building and designing them for 50 years.
But that's not all.
He's texan and a Vietnam vet and possibly the best airboat driver on the planet.
Basically, if you're into airboats, then Stan is your God.
Stan may be the man when it comes to airboats, but he's gonna have his hands full racing this.
[Engine revs.]
You've got to be kidding me! I'm loving it! This is the rally fighter.
It's not a dune buggy or a trophy truck.
It's an off-road beast that can handle any kind of terrain.
But, amazingly, you can also drive it to work.
If you want a vehicle you can legally drive on the road and then literally drive across the border and enter into the Baja 1000, you probably need one of these.
The craziest part about this thing is that local motors didn't even design it.
It was designed on the Internet.
Yep, you heard me The Internet.
They held an open competition on the web, and an online vote decided the winner.
So, what does all this social networking and auto tweeting get you? For 60 grand, what you get is a corvette engine but Miata door handles.
You get a Ford truck rear end but Honda civic taillights.
You get a Chevrolet transmission but an f-150 steering wheel.
It all sounds like a recipe for disaster, but then you drive it.
Oh, we want some speed now.
Come on, baby! The 430-horsepower engine has enough torque to start a sandstorm.
My God! This is street-legal? The suspension has enough travel to collect frequent-flyer points 18 inches in the front, and a staggering 20 inches in the rear.
This is coming off dry.
This Is ridiculous.
Pure ridiculousness.
It might be ridiculous, but it works.
Somehow, all those random parts and designs have come together to make a formidable machine.
I was really starting to like the rally fighter.
And I thought it was time to introduce it to the swamp.
Oh, no! I'm getting absolutely soaked! [Engine revs.]
[Thud.]
Oh, God! That was a tree.
[Engine stops.]
Uh-oh.
Killed it.
[Engine sputters.]
Uh, let's bring the mechanic out.
Man: Copy.
Stand by.
It was about to re-fire.
It's just you can hear rattling, and I shut it off.
Let's fire it up.
Let's give it a try.
You sure? Absolutely.
Is it already done done? We can do no harm.
Come on.
Let it rip.
Really? Come on.
Do it.
Yeah.
[Engine sputters.]
Ooh, it is a funny Come on.
Still, let's try it.
No, that finished it.
That was it? You do it.
[Laughs.]
I don't want to kill it.
All right.
Pushing the button.
[Ignition clicking.]
I believe she's a dead player.
I'm out of here.
New shoes.
I had killed the rally fighter, but, luckily, I had a backup, so the race against the airboat was still on.
The race would be 6 miles long and the route completely unpredictable.
I'd be on a mixture of rough trails, gravel levee roads, and farm tracts.
And the airboat would travel along the shoreline to begin before heading deep into the swamp to the finish.
I was expecting the start line to be near the water, but Stan had other ideas.
So, Stan, you're actually gonna drive down the street with that? Yeah.
Have you ever had this on pavement before? Yeah, at the armadillo nationals in Houston.
It's called the armadillo nationals? Armadillo nationals.
After I passed and it blew the Christmas tree down, the track officials were very upset with me.
Are you allowed back there? Probably not.
All right.
Let's do this.
All right.
You're not gonna mind an old texan kicking yours, right? [Engine turns over.]
I was worried about the backwash from the props.
I should have worried more about Stan's math.
54.
3 21 Go! Turned out Stan couldn't count, and he also was completely insane.
His crazy levee stunt had given him a huge lead.
Oh, my God.
What kind of route is this? Stan hit the open water and opened up the big V-8 80 miles an hour in just 400 feet.
Go, go, go, go, go! Little bit of a jump.
18 inches from Stan's head, the prop was traveling at the speed of sound, creating 150-mile-an-hour backwash.
It is so bumpy.
I think I can get him on the levee now.
He is so far ahead of me at this point.
While I crashed around on the banks, Stan was gliding serenely across the glassy water.
He was destroying me.
I finally made it to the levee road 6 feet of dirt, a 50-foot drop on each side, but it was all I needed to get on the gas.
So, now we're laying down some speed.
80, 90.
100 miles an hour on a levee.
I've done a few smarter things in my life, I think.
I just can't let a guy with a Hawaiian shirt beat me.
That's really what it comes down to.
Stan had navigated away from the shore and was now halfway to the finish line.
And the gators were ducking.
The airboat God of thunder was approaching.
But the murky waters concealed rotting cypress stumps.
Stan had to slow or risk an impact and flip the boat.
An airboat has no brakes and no reverse.
Driving one takes real commitment.
Three miles in, and I'd finally hit the end of the levee road.
Up ahead lay 2 miles of farmland and horse trails.
Where am I going? Holy crap.
Stan had also steered away from the swamp, over the levee, and into the bayou.
Is it worth 60 grand? I don't know.
Certainly won't have any worries about making it to work.
Big bump.
There he is! Holy [Bleep.]
Oh, my gosh.
Stan's little shortcut had given him the lead.
With just 2 miles to go, I had no choice but to go all-out.
[Suspension thumps.]
Oh! [Bleep.]
This thing is tough as nails.
Oh, big corner.
I can't think of another production vehicle that could take the hit that I just did.
And it's fine.
This truck is a tank, or car Whatever it is.
Stan was now back in the swamp, picking up speed, while I had a farm between me and the levee.
It was too close to call.
Finally, I hit the levee again.
It was a straight run from here to the finish one mile away.
The question was, where was Stan? Oh, no! There he is! Oh, my God.
That hurt.
That hurt a lot.
Go! Go! This is it right here! Stan had edged ahead of me with just 500 yards to go.
It was now or never.
I had to floor it, or Jimmy Buffett in the flying hairdryer would be drinking the victory beer.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Whoa! Yes! Yes! He almost just flipped it! Oh, my gosh! Coming up, we continue our toughest-truck challenge.
He's gonna electrocute all of us.
Our America's strongest truck challenge started off great with me winning in the drag race.
Thank you.
And then Tanner won the burnout challenge.
Ferrara: Yeah.
And raceboy was really starting to get annoying, so we decided to teach him a lesson in the next challenge.
Ferrara: Each of us had picked what we thought was the toughest truck.
I, of course, chose the ram, Tanner, the Ford, and Rutledge, the Chevy.
And we were having a competition to prove who had the best.
Tanner and Rutledge each had one victory.
Yeah! That's like a rock, baby! So we drove high into the hills for our third test.
Wood: This is it.
This is it? Yeah.
Look at this.
This is the perfect thing to test a truck's off-road prowess.
This is a runaway-truck ramp used to stop 80,000-pound-plus trucks coming down this huge hill.
Yeah, this is like rock quicksand.
This stops 80,000-pound trucks.
Right.
The problem with the plan And I respect Your you know, wanting to try to actually make it up this in the Chevy You've got independent front suspension, which, awesome on the road.
Fantastic.
Yeah, great.
Terrible for off-roading.
Oh.
Yeah.
[Southern accent.]
Oh, I'm Mr.
straight axle.
Hey, y'all.
Oh, I'm gonna make it to the top 'cause I got a straight axle.
Oh.
[Laughs.]
Y'all watch this.
[Normal voice.]
I.
F.
S.
and all, I'm going to the top.
Wood: After Tanner's gratuitous burnout, he had little tread left on his tires, so he was at a disadvantage.
All I had to do was make it to the top.
All right, Silverado, it's you and me.
I know you can do this.
Let's build a little boost, and then let's take off.
What? Oh, there it is.
Yeah, hi-ho, Silverado! Away! Oh, hello! Yeah! Look at that! Dig it! I'm glad I don't work here if that's the runaway-truck thing.
Right.
You feel like you're gonna have a problem with this? Not at all.
I'll show you.
Ferrara: Rutledge made it up the hill with ease.
Now all I had to do was get to the top, and we would have Tanner exactly where we wanted him.
Okay.
Go for it.
Goodbye.
That's it.
See? Step on the gas and climb the hill like a man.
Like a ram! Ha ha! Aaah! [Chuckles.]
That is just crazy.
Wood: Our trap was set.
Tanner may have thought this was an easy challenge, but a slow climb like this requires good traction.
Are you ready? [Laughs.]
Yes.
There he goes.
Oh, hey.
That is dangerous.
That's digging.
We are really going for it.
You see that solid axle just jumping? He's spinning! He's spinning! [Laughs.]
Yes! Yes! He's spinning! Come on! Come on! You're super! You're super! [Bleep.]
It.
[Laughs.]
Yes! That's it! Okay.
One more try at it.
[Laughs.]
Just a second! No way! Give it up! Let it go! Use your super powers! It's just getting lower and lower.
It's just digging and digging and digging.
[Coughing.]
Oh! Dude, is that thing buried to the axle? Yeah.
Look at it.
Half a tire's in there.
Damn it.
[Both laughing.]
Here's the thing.
There's no thing! Here's the thing It's the tread from the burnouts.
Ferrara: Yeah.
[Laughs.]
You know what? You're absolutely right.
That was a pile of super "duty.
" [Laughs.]
There you go.
Look at him.
If you hadn't spent all that time riding circles and donuts around us, you'd have plenty of tires left.
"I can do burnouts.
" That You lost.
There's Because the Let it go.
I know.
I know.
You're gonna be up for days.
God, it feels so sweet when you suck at something.
I know.
Oh, it feels good! You know what? I'm not done here.
There's more.
I think the Chevy can do way more stuff than this.
I know the ram can.
Ferrara: We had successfully given Tanner a beatdown, but our toughest truck challenge wasn't over.
The real test for a pickup is towing capacity, so we set out once and for all to see who had the toughest truck.
I'm telling you, this is a great plan.
"This is a great plan.
" Remember those words.
Towing capacity.
What's yours? 24,400.
[Laughs.]
That is a lot.
But that's super-duty, so it's obviously on a different scale.
Mine's almost 30,000.
What? What? It's 22,000.
That's almost 30,000.
I'm just Just a little bit I'm 21,700.
21 what? Aha.
21,700.
So, this is one I'm ready for.
What do you got? Well, look, here's the deal.
We've seen all the commercials when people test trucks.
It's always, "oh, you can out-pull this guy" pulling a boat or a trailer.
" What does that have to do with telephone poles? Well, I just saw it, and I thought that'd be a cool thing to pull down.
I respect the destructive nature in you.
Well? Let's let it happen.
Okay.
In many famous man's words, "watch this.
" Does he know they're all hooked together? This telephone pole stands at about 4 stories high and is dug 20 feet into the ground.
Pulling it down is a perfect way to demonstrate my Chevy's towing power.
This is a great idea.
Yes.
He's gonna electrocute all of us.
No.
Yeah.
I'll be okay.
Just keep your feet off the ground.
Here.
This is the stuff you dream about when you're a kid right here.
"Oh, I wonder if you can pull a telephone pole down with a truck.
" I really like the idea, but it is one of the dumber ideas we've had on this show.
Pretty cool.
Four-wheel drive.
Chevy, I know you can do it.
Here I go! Here I go! [Wood cracking.]
Yeah.
Get angry at it, Rutledge.
Come on! Let's go! I'm in full support of whatever's about to happen.
There it goes.
It's coming down! [Laughing.]
He got two! Did you see that? That was beautifully stupid! I just ripped a telephone pole down! [Laughs.]
Chevy! But, to be fair, that's not really towing.
It's pulling.
I don't think that was all that impressive.
And you were hooked up to the top.
They look like they're gonna fall over on their own.
I tried to get one, and I got two! It sounded rotten The wood did.
Why don't you show me something cooler? I think I saw something.
Let's go.
You did awesome! You did awesome, Chevy! Two poles.
Somebody's gonna have to clean all this up, you know.
Foust: Rutledge's first annual telephone-pole pull-down was entertaining, but it wasn't the best way to show off a truck's towing capacity.
To show them my Ford was the toughest truck, I found the biggest and heaviest thing around.
I don't think pulling down a couple toothpicks really shows what a truck can do.
I agree with you, but this? Yeah.
This shows what a truck can do.
[Engine turns over.]
There's no way you're gonna be able to pull a train.
You have an engine and a coal car, all right? Do you know how much that weighs? That is 140 tons back there.
280,000 pounds of steel and iron.
And what's your tow capacity? Just shy of that.
Okay.
It's not load-rated for what we're about to do, but I just want to prove to you why Ford is the ultimate truck.
This is what "made in America" means, my friends.
Step back.
I'm gonna get a good vantage point here.
Truck, train.
Ferrara: Truck, train, coal car.
Moron.
This is never gonna work.
This is 140 tons.
280,000 pounds of train.
There's no way I can tow this.
Yep! Oh, you almost got it! Come on! Come on! Now it's time for a part of the show we like to call "big star, small car.
" That's where we put a celebrity in our Suzuki to see who can set the fastest lap time.
And our big star is one of my favorite comedians, Bill Engvall! [Cheers and applause.]
All right.
You ready for this, pal? I am ready for this.
I've watched the show.
Big fan of the show.
I've signed the will, and my kids are taken care of, and everything that needed to be evacuated got evacuated, so [Laughter.]
Good.
Good.
I'm ready to do this.
Look, we can hose out anything that comes out of you.
Yeah, I noticed it was all It's all tefloned and all that, so that's good.
Okay.
So, you get in there.
You tear it up.
I'm gonna take the audience, and we will meet you back at the hangar.
We'll see you in the hangar.
All right.
Let's go.
Go get 'em, pal.
Come on.
All right.
Here we go The dumbest thing I've ever done.
[Engine revs.]
Ferrara: All right.
He's off to a good start.
Until now.
Here comes the first turn.
Stay composed behind the wheel.
Sometimes you have to go slower to go faster.
I turned on the wipers.
[Laughs.]
Apparently heard it's gonna rain.
Bill is approaching a turn called the teardrop.
You cannot carry a lot of speed through here 'cause you will spin out.
Oh, that was nice.
This is where you can really just get on it.
All right.
Now we're getting the speed.
There's an 85.
Oh, my God.
90.
Haven't taken out a camera.
That's good.
He pretty good past the tires.
Whoo! [Laughs.]
[Laughing.]
And he's having a good time.
[Tires squeal.]
Oh, my God.
This thing's got some juice.
There you go.
This is cameraman's curve coming up.
Oh, that went nice.
Very nice.
There we go.
Now taking it home, baby! Daddy's hauling the mail! Okay.
Here comes daddy with the mail around the last turn.
And he is across the line.
That was better than sex.
Let me tell you that right now.
[Chuckles.]
I'm gonna need a cigarette after this is over.
[Cheers and applause.]
Bill, come on up! Bill, come on up here.
Bill Engvall! Good to see you, my friend.
It was great.
Wow.
How was that, brother? Did you have fun? That was crazy.
Yeah? There was times that it s really fun.
Mm-hmm.
And then there was times I had things puckering I didn't know I had.
[Laughter.]
That's a lot like marriage.
[Laughing.]
Exactly.
How'd you like the Suzuki? You know what? I got to tell you, I was impressed with that little car.
Really? It has a little pep to it.
You need to raise your goals.
[Laughter.]
[Applause.]
I will tell you that I was That when the show called and said, "would you want to be on?" I said, "of course.
" And they said, "if you want to bring your own car, you can.
" And so I looked at my wife, who has an Aston Martin vantage [Crowd "oohs".]
And I said, "honey," and she goes, "no.
No.
" [Laughter.]
So, your wife has an Aston? She has an Aston.
I have a '50 Chevy pickup that I've had redone.
I have a '77 volkswagen van.
You still smoke pot? Yeah.
[Laughter.]
[Applause.]
But it's all medical now.
Yeah.
It's all purely medical.
It the glaucoma.
And then I have a Mercedes s600, which I just love.
That's big.
Yeah.
And I love that car, but when you step on the gas, you hear this [Inhales deeply.]
And just watch the gauge just go 'Cause it's 12-cylinder.
What was your first car? My first car ever was a 1962 Ford falcon, and it was [Crowd murmurs.]
Yeah.
It was a two-door, three on the tree, and I tricked that thing out.
[Laughter.]
You pimped out a '62 I had a shag carpet in the back window.
[Laughter.]
Yeah.
Oh, it gets better.
I had a metal foot for a gas pedal.
[Laughter.]
And then I put my own 8-track in.
[Laughter.]
And had a date that night, so I got my best make-out music.
It was the "best of bread" 8-track.
[Laughing.]
Bread? And I'm driving.
I pop that 8-track in.
I'm just driving.
All of a sudden, I realize that the whole car has filled up with smoke because I've short-wired it somehow.
[Laughter.]
It was a great car for me because it was a great make-out car because the passenger seat, if you put enough weight on it, would fall backwards.
[Laughter.]
Insta-bed.
Now, let me ask.
Did you discover that, or did you rig that to happen? No, I actually It actually happened by accident.
My girlfriend at the time and I were parking outside of her house.
And I leaned over to make my move, and the seat just went Chprrkkw! And she said, "well, this is convenient.
" [Laughter.]
"Yes, it is.
" And I don't know why Ford never put that option in another car because Well, I am so happy you're here, and you really enjoyed the lap? Oh, I had the greatest time.
Yeah? How do you think you did? How fast you think you did? I don't know.
I'm looking at those times, and I think I just I worry that I'm gonna be slower than Chumlee.
I got to beat buzz aldrin.
What is he Like 90? Yeah.
[Laughter.]
But that's in moon time.
Oh! Oh! But let me tell you something.
You did it in 1 40 4 Oh! Point 3.
Oh! [Cheers and applause.]
All right, all right.
Yeah! Took down Bret Michaels, baby! That's it, man.
Oh! That's impressive.
My pal Bill Engvall.
[Cheers and applause.]
So, now, you're originally from Texas? Correct.
Big trucks in Texas.
If you don't have a truck, then there's no point in driving anything.
[Laughter.]
What's In your opinion, what's the best dually? Best dually for my money would have to be the dodge ram.
You're absolutely right.
It is the dodge ram, which you will see as we get back to our toughest-truck challenge.
This is what "made in America" means, my friends.
Step back.
I'm gonna get a good vantage point here.
Ferrara: Yep! Oh, you almost got it! Come on! Go! Come on! It's moving! Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Wood: There is no way he is pulling a train right now.
Are you kidding me? Yes! Yeah, but it's on wheels.
Yeah.
It's on wheels.
Doesn't count.
You know what? Doesn't count! It's a train.
On wheels.
No big deal.
Not impressive at all.
I'll show you something impressive.
Watch the ram.
Follow me, Thomas.
[Laughs.]
That's funny.
That's about Thomas the tank engine.
It's a kids' show.
Thomas He's a train.
He's on an island, and the front of the train is his face.
What's the island called? Sodor.
So sad.
There's Percy.
There's Thomas.
There's Clara.
There's a whole bunch of them.
There's a whole gang of them.
Ferrara: So, to top Tanner's Ford pulling a 280,000-pound train, I needed something massive, something gargantuan, something so big I could prove that my ram was the toughest truck.
Two termite-infested telephone poles and a train on wheels.
I Speak not.
Just watch.
Watch and learn.
Here comes the ram, boys! It was a 280,000-pound train.
Ferrara: On wheels! Cables were still I mean, it was a functioning telephone pole.
[Laughs.]
Such a bad idea.
We're gonna pull down a house.
[Laughs.]
Ferrara: Our toughest-truck challenge had come down to towing capacity.
Tanner's Ford pulling a 280,000-pound train was pretty impressive.
But I was ready to bring down the house.
Such a bad idea.
Come on, baby.
Let's show them what a ram can do, huh? This is gonna be great.
Total catastrophe.
You ready, fellas? Foust: Uh Is there an answer to that question, really? Here we go.
Do you feel confident in his ability to do this? No.
He's gonna mess this all up, and it's a house.
Start moving.
Oh, my gosh.
Hey, you're just digging a hole.
Well, that was impressive.
Watch him figure this out.
This should be good.
Remain calm! All is well! That house is just laughing at you.
No, he's gonna yank it now.
Oh, this is gonna look bad.
[Both laugh.]
Huh! Almost there! Rome wasn't built in a day, fellas! Go big or go home! Oh, don't [Bleep.]
Don't say that.
Don't say that to him.
[Laughs.]
Ohh! [Laughs.]
Ha ha! I think you did it! [Laughing.]
I'm pretty sure you just pulled that house down.
[Laughing.]
You pulled this house down.
I feel like a lot of asbestos just went into my lungs.
Are you okay? That was awesome.
Yeah.
So, I think we proved that the ram is the toughest truck.
I The house is first of all, it's not as heavy as the train.
This thing was falling in on itself.
Those telephone poles were in the ground.
Those telephone poles were put up during the eisenhower administration.
Will you stop it? Maybe.
Maybe.
They were still in there.
But they were rotten anyway.
And the train The train a good wind could have blown that train.
It was on wheels and on the track.
This was a house.
Gentlemen, I pulled down a house.
It's pretty impressive.
You took a lot of tries, though.
We need to go before these people get home.
Okay.
That's actually a good call.
[Cheers and applause.]
Gentlemen, I hope you were paying attention, because that's how you prove you have the toughest dually.
You pull down a house.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yes! I got to admit, I'm kind of confused at what that has to do with having a dually.
Like, basically, people buy these trucks for towing, right? I'm pretty much the only one that actually towed anything.
There's no description when people look in a magazine for trucks.
"Let's see.
Has it pulled down a house? Oh, yeah, it has.
" [Laughter.]
"Has it, over its load capacity, pulled a train 8 feet? Oh, that's not on there, either.
" "Wait a minute, honey.
"This pulled down telephone poles.
This is the truck for us.
" There's a footnote for that.
And for drag racing.
Who buys pickups for speed unless you're robbing a Walgreens in Georgia? [Laughter.]
I'll tell you who buys trucks for speed Everyone that buys a cool truck.
[Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
You beat me by 4 inches, maybe.
Uh, I don't think that matters.
I beat you.
You smoked the tires in the burnout, and then we tied on the truck ramp, which means the Chevy is the strongest truck in America! See you next time! Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I'm sorry.
It's the strongest truck.
Races around our track.
And we find over which is the toughest heavy duty truck in America.
Trucks.
They make up more than half the vehicle sales for the U.
S.
, but which one is king? We each chose what we thought was the biggest, baddest truck in the country and took them into the desert for a showdown.
Adam chose the ram 3500.
Tanner chose the Ford F-450.
And I brought the Chevy HD3500.
You know what vehicle the secret service chose to underpin the new presidential limo, nicknamed "the beast"? Oh, it may look like a Cadillac on the outside, but underneath, it's all Chevy truck, as if you needed any more convincing that this is the best heavy-duty truck.
Oh, gentlemen, you've finally been outgunned.
For once, I landed the king of the hill in one of these challenges.
Please.
That? Yeah.
How do you figure? You know that this is the truck that, first of all, outsells both of these almost two to one.
Justin Bieber can pack a full house at a concert.
That doesn't mean I'm going.
Okay, that's right.
You're right.
You're right.
It's all really about the numbers 24,400 pounds.
When are you gonna need to tow 24,000 I tow my trailer.
When do you tow anything? Two race cars in a big-ass trailer.
You don't tow that! You fly.
You get in the car, you drive, and you fly home.
There's somebody towing that, and I had to get the truck.
What can the dodge do? It's not even a dodge anymore.
It's a ram.
You mean dodge was so embarrassed by it, they were like, "we can't even put our own name on it"? Dodge was embarrassed by a tough truck? No.
This truck was so tough, it was asked to leave.
They told this truck, "excuse me You're frightening minivans.
" "All the caravans are crying.
You're gonna have to go.
" Guys, you clearly didn't notice that I brought the Chevy HD.
I mean, that's the coolest one.
You think? It's like an Escalade in there.
Do you have air-conditioned seats? Yes.
You know why? 'Cause you have ass sweat.
I'm hardworking.
I'm out there getting it done.
I might need air-conditioned seats.
[Laughs.]
What are you getting done? The Chevy HD, out there getting it done.
[Laughs.]
Like 800 foot-pounds of torque.
Anybody got anything over that? I've got 765.
Hmm.
But I'm telling you, that sucker's fast.
The Ford is quick.
Even with a trailer, it pulls like a freight train.
How fast is it? It's quick.
I think we should find out which truck is the quickest.
Really? You thinking what I'm thinking? Drag race? Three wide.
It is on.
Let's go.
It is on.
Foust: My Ford had 400 horsepower.
Rutledge's Chevy had 397, so we were pretty evenly matched.
Adam Not so much.
Okay, I have six cylinders.
I'm gonna lose.
I know I'm gonna lose.
The only question is by how much.
The key to any good drag race is the launch.
I'm gonna start in second gear with a little bit of a burnout.
Just gonna see how that goes.
Okay, gentlemen, you ready? Tallyho.
Ready.
Okay.
And we'll do it in 3 2 1Go.
Not the best start.
Come on, baby.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Oh, yes! No! Come on! Shift, shift, shift! Oh, my God.
40, 50.
Shift! Come on.
800 foot-pounds of torque.
800 foot-pounds of torque.
Rocket ship! 60, 65.
Shift! Oh, it's so close! Come on, Chevy! Shift! Thank you.
Oh, so soon? 75, 80.
I'm nosing it! Noooooooo! I beat the Ford! Yeah! That's like a rock, baby! Foust: I'm thinking the burnout was a bad idea on my part because you beat me by like 4 inches.
Are you I had you at least a car length.
It was probably less than Hey, Adam, you're back.
How you doing? Adam, did you go when Tanner counted? All right, all right.
Tanner, it doesn't matter whether you win by an inch or you win by a mile.
Those are nascar words, aren't they? No.
It was Vin Diesel in the first "fast and the furious.
" Ruedge can keep his Chevy.
For me, it's all about the Ford.
Okay.
I have had five super-duty trucks.
I've had F-350s.
I've had the earlier version, two of the F-450s, and now I have a super-duty 350 with this motor.
And I think the Ford super-duty can do just about everything well, and I think it's the best workhorse money can buy.
Thank you.
No! You got to be kidding me! By an inch or a mile.
And where were you? I was making sure you guys were keeping it fair.
I have six cylinders.
You guys should have beat me by a lot more than that.
You kidding me? But it was like 3 inches.
It's a long, sad story.
You still lost.
The point is, we went like 80 miles an hour.
That's like a horsepower test.
That's not even a torque test.
Trucks are, like, about torque.
Well, you have more horsepower than me, so either way Either way, you lost the test.
No, it's heavy.
It's 8,000-pound truck.
It's way heavier than mine.
That's why.
That's why I won.
Yeah.
So, what are you trying to say? I'm just saying that with trucks, it's about torque, and for torque, it's the twisting power.
It's like smoking tires, burnout, pulling trailers.
So, what you're saying in a roundabout way is you would like a burnout test? I think a burnout competition.
Really? Because it's about torque.
You want to run double 11s? Double 11s with the Duallys.
Longest one wins? Yes.
Your honor.
I'm up? You're up.
All right.
This is gonna be a big fail.
Wood: To find out which of our trucks could apply the most power to the ground, we conducted a very scientific test.
You guys ready? Ferrara: You ready? Light 'em up! Left foot on the brake, and I'm just gonna mash the accelerator.
[Engine revs.]
What? Doesn't look good.
What? Hold on one second! I got to get it squared up! What is he saying? I don't know.
Where's he going? I don't know.
That didn't work, so plan "b.
" I find it hard to believe a truck with 760 foot-pounds of torque cannot spin the tires.
I thought he would at least break them loose.
Your truck will break them loose, right? Yeah.
What is he He's backing up.
The shame.
He's gonna do this Oh, that's funny.
You're killing me! Oh! [Laughs.]
Whoo! Can you see them? That was depressing.
Look at that! Yeah! Must be 30 feet! Look at them.
They're great.
[Laughing.]
They're great.
Those are That's not your Adam, do you think you could do a burnout with your diesel truck? Watch and learn.
Are you gonna stand here while he does this? No.
Hell, no.
Seen this before.
Ferrara: Okay.
I got to be honest with you.
I don't think this thing will break them loose.
I'm gonna try.
He's got, what, 8 pounds of torque? Hit it! Do your worst, buddy.
I'm sorry in advance.
Oh! He [Laughs.]
Okay, now your truck sucks.
I'll be honest with you.
That's a lot better than I thought.
Look at that.
It goes two lines.
It goes all the way to the second line.
I mean, my marks are so dark, it's hard to tell.
Whatever.
Easy to get them confused.
18, 19, still going.
Ferrara: Look at that.
I don't know what that means in distance, though.
24 little Tanner feet? 24 big, giant [Laughs.]
I'm gonna go do a burnout.
Ferrara: Coming up, it's Tanner's turn to see if he has the toughest truck.
America! America! Wood: We were in the midst of our America's toughest truck challenge.
I nosed out Tanner to win the drag race.
Then, to find out which one of our trucks had the most torque, we conducted a very scientific longest-burnout test.
Wood: What do you think? Here's the problem It's him, you know, so he can do this kind of stuff.
So, it's really not fair.
Traction control off.
A/C off.
You guys good? I think you've got no chance.
I think he's got you beat.
Well, I think I did mine forward.
I think that should count for something.
[Speaks indistinctly.]
What's he doing now? Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now you're just showing off.
Now you're just showing off! America! America! America! Not funny! I get it.
We get it, okay? I get it.
You win.
Oh, you're awesome.
Come on.
Really? [Coughs.]
[Laughing.]
Still going.
I'm gonna go get some coffee, okay? I'll be back in a little bit! [Cheers and applause.]
That didn't feel just a little bit over-the-top? Nope.
I didn't do that to you when I beat you in the drag race.
You just said that to point out you beat me in the drag race, didn't you? I did.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I think we can all agree that the F-450 is the best dually on the planet, yes? [Cheers and applause.]
But if you think that was tough, take a look at this.
This is the rally fighter from a company called local motors.
Now, this is an actual production car, one of 30 made.
I got a chance to drive the prototype.
They claim it can handle anything, so I took it to the most hostile environment on the planet.
Foust: To find the largest swamp in the U.
S.
, you have to head deep into the damp, dark heart of Southern Louisiana.
There lies the at Chafalaya swamp, 600,000 acres of slow-moving water and lush vegetation.
These low-lying wetlands are in constant evolution and are home to hundreds of species, including thousands of alligators, numerous poisonous snakes, several Billion mosquitoes, and A few crazy locals.
So, I had the location.
Now I needed something to race the rally fighter against.
It's a bit of a weird place, the swamp.
It's not a place you'd normally drive.
But there is one local motor that's perfect for the swamp.
[Engine revs.]
An airboat.
An airboat is a simple machine, not much more than a tin tray with an engine and propeller bolted on it.
In engineering terms, it's about as complicated as a sledgehammer, but it's incredibly effective at getting through unpassable areas.
This is not your normal airboat.
Look at it.
This is the Godzilla of airboats.
This thing has won airboat competitions.
That's right.
There are airboat competitions.
It's got a V-8 that's supercharged with 800 horsepower.
It's unbelievable.
There's one thing that everybody knows in the swamp.
Airboats are difficult to drive.
So, to handle a beast like this, we needed the most skilled driver, which is this guy.
Stan Floyd owns and runs American airboats and has been building and designing them for 50 years.
But that's not all.
He's texan and a Vietnam vet and possibly the best airboat driver on the planet.
Basically, if you're into airboats, then Stan is your God.
Stan may be the man when it comes to airboats, but he's gonna have his hands full racing this.
[Engine revs.]
You've got to be kidding me! I'm loving it! This is the rally fighter.
It's not a dune buggy or a trophy truck.
It's an off-road beast that can handle any kind of terrain.
But, amazingly, you can also drive it to work.
If you want a vehicle you can legally drive on the road and then literally drive across the border and enter into the Baja 1000, you probably need one of these.
The craziest part about this thing is that local motors didn't even design it.
It was designed on the Internet.
Yep, you heard me The Internet.
They held an open competition on the web, and an online vote decided the winner.
So, what does all this social networking and auto tweeting get you? For 60 grand, what you get is a corvette engine but Miata door handles.
You get a Ford truck rear end but Honda civic taillights.
You get a Chevrolet transmission but an f-150 steering wheel.
It all sounds like a recipe for disaster, but then you drive it.
Oh, we want some speed now.
Come on, baby! The 430-horsepower engine has enough torque to start a sandstorm.
My God! This is street-legal? The suspension has enough travel to collect frequent-flyer points 18 inches in the front, and a staggering 20 inches in the rear.
This is coming off dry.
This Is ridiculous.
Pure ridiculousness.
It might be ridiculous, but it works.
Somehow, all those random parts and designs have come together to make a formidable machine.
I was really starting to like the rally fighter.
And I thought it was time to introduce it to the swamp.
Oh, no! I'm getting absolutely soaked! [Engine revs.]
[Thud.]
Oh, God! That was a tree.
[Engine stops.]
Uh-oh.
Killed it.
[Engine sputters.]
Uh, let's bring the mechanic out.
Man: Copy.
Stand by.
It was about to re-fire.
It's just you can hear rattling, and I shut it off.
Let's fire it up.
Let's give it a try.
You sure? Absolutely.
Is it already done done? We can do no harm.
Come on.
Let it rip.
Really? Come on.
Do it.
Yeah.
[Engine sputters.]
Ooh, it is a funny Come on.
Still, let's try it.
No, that finished it.
That was it? You do it.
[Laughs.]
I don't want to kill it.
All right.
Pushing the button.
[Ignition clicking.]
I believe she's a dead player.
I'm out of here.
New shoes.
I had killed the rally fighter, but, luckily, I had a backup, so the race against the airboat was still on.
The race would be 6 miles long and the route completely unpredictable.
I'd be on a mixture of rough trails, gravel levee roads, and farm tracts.
And the airboat would travel along the shoreline to begin before heading deep into the swamp to the finish.
I was expecting the start line to be near the water, but Stan had other ideas.
So, Stan, you're actually gonna drive down the street with that? Yeah.
Have you ever had this on pavement before? Yeah, at the armadillo nationals in Houston.
It's called the armadillo nationals? Armadillo nationals.
After I passed and it blew the Christmas tree down, the track officials were very upset with me.
Are you allowed back there? Probably not.
All right.
Let's do this.
All right.
You're not gonna mind an old texan kicking yours, right? [Engine turns over.]
I was worried about the backwash from the props.
I should have worried more about Stan's math.
54.
3 21 Go! Turned out Stan couldn't count, and he also was completely insane.
His crazy levee stunt had given him a huge lead.
Oh, my God.
What kind of route is this? Stan hit the open water and opened up the big V-8 80 miles an hour in just 400 feet.
Go, go, go, go, go! Little bit of a jump.
18 inches from Stan's head, the prop was traveling at the speed of sound, creating 150-mile-an-hour backwash.
It is so bumpy.
I think I can get him on the levee now.
He is so far ahead of me at this point.
While I crashed around on the banks, Stan was gliding serenely across the glassy water.
He was destroying me.
I finally made it to the levee road 6 feet of dirt, a 50-foot drop on each side, but it was all I needed to get on the gas.
So, now we're laying down some speed.
80, 90.
100 miles an hour on a levee.
I've done a few smarter things in my life, I think.
I just can't let a guy with a Hawaiian shirt beat me.
That's really what it comes down to.
Stan had navigated away from the shore and was now halfway to the finish line.
And the gators were ducking.
The airboat God of thunder was approaching.
But the murky waters concealed rotting cypress stumps.
Stan had to slow or risk an impact and flip the boat.
An airboat has no brakes and no reverse.
Driving one takes real commitment.
Three miles in, and I'd finally hit the end of the levee road.
Up ahead lay 2 miles of farmland and horse trails.
Where am I going? Holy crap.
Stan had also steered away from the swamp, over the levee, and into the bayou.
Is it worth 60 grand? I don't know.
Certainly won't have any worries about making it to work.
Big bump.
There he is! Holy [Bleep.]
Oh, my gosh.
Stan's little shortcut had given him the lead.
With just 2 miles to go, I had no choice but to go all-out.
[Suspension thumps.]
Oh! [Bleep.]
This thing is tough as nails.
Oh, big corner.
I can't think of another production vehicle that could take the hit that I just did.
And it's fine.
This truck is a tank, or car Whatever it is.
Stan was now back in the swamp, picking up speed, while I had a farm between me and the levee.
It was too close to call.
Finally, I hit the levee again.
It was a straight run from here to the finish one mile away.
The question was, where was Stan? Oh, no! There he is! Oh, my God.
That hurt.
That hurt a lot.
Go! Go! This is it right here! Stan had edged ahead of me with just 500 yards to go.
It was now or never.
I had to floor it, or Jimmy Buffett in the flying hairdryer would be drinking the victory beer.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Whoa! Yes! Yes! He almost just flipped it! Oh, my gosh! Coming up, we continue our toughest-truck challenge.
He's gonna electrocute all of us.
Our America's strongest truck challenge started off great with me winning in the drag race.
Thank you.
And then Tanner won the burnout challenge.
Ferrara: Yeah.
And raceboy was really starting to get annoying, so we decided to teach him a lesson in the next challenge.
Ferrara: Each of us had picked what we thought was the toughest truck.
I, of course, chose the ram, Tanner, the Ford, and Rutledge, the Chevy.
And we were having a competition to prove who had the best.
Tanner and Rutledge each had one victory.
Yeah! That's like a rock, baby! So we drove high into the hills for our third test.
Wood: This is it.
This is it? Yeah.
Look at this.
This is the perfect thing to test a truck's off-road prowess.
This is a runaway-truck ramp used to stop 80,000-pound-plus trucks coming down this huge hill.
Yeah, this is like rock quicksand.
This stops 80,000-pound trucks.
Right.
The problem with the plan And I respect Your you know, wanting to try to actually make it up this in the Chevy You've got independent front suspension, which, awesome on the road.
Fantastic.
Yeah, great.
Terrible for off-roading.
Oh.
Yeah.
[Southern accent.]
Oh, I'm Mr.
straight axle.
Hey, y'all.
Oh, I'm gonna make it to the top 'cause I got a straight axle.
Oh.
[Laughs.]
Y'all watch this.
[Normal voice.]
I.
F.
S.
and all, I'm going to the top.
Wood: After Tanner's gratuitous burnout, he had little tread left on his tires, so he was at a disadvantage.
All I had to do was make it to the top.
All right, Silverado, it's you and me.
I know you can do this.
Let's build a little boost, and then let's take off.
What? Oh, there it is.
Yeah, hi-ho, Silverado! Away! Oh, hello! Yeah! Look at that! Dig it! I'm glad I don't work here if that's the runaway-truck thing.
Right.
You feel like you're gonna have a problem with this? Not at all.
I'll show you.
Ferrara: Rutledge made it up the hill with ease.
Now all I had to do was get to the top, and we would have Tanner exactly where we wanted him.
Okay.
Go for it.
Goodbye.
That's it.
See? Step on the gas and climb the hill like a man.
Like a ram! Ha ha! Aaah! [Chuckles.]
That is just crazy.
Wood: Our trap was set.
Tanner may have thought this was an easy challenge, but a slow climb like this requires good traction.
Are you ready? [Laughs.]
Yes.
There he goes.
Oh, hey.
That is dangerous.
That's digging.
We are really going for it.
You see that solid axle just jumping? He's spinning! He's spinning! [Laughs.]
Yes! Yes! He's spinning! Come on! Come on! You're super! You're super! [Bleep.]
It.
[Laughs.]
Yes! That's it! Okay.
One more try at it.
[Laughs.]
Just a second! No way! Give it up! Let it go! Use your super powers! It's just getting lower and lower.
It's just digging and digging and digging.
[Coughing.]
Oh! Dude, is that thing buried to the axle? Yeah.
Look at it.
Half a tire's in there.
Damn it.
[Both laughing.]
Here's the thing.
There's no thing! Here's the thing It's the tread from the burnouts.
Ferrara: Yeah.
[Laughs.]
You know what? You're absolutely right.
That was a pile of super "duty.
" [Laughs.]
There you go.
Look at him.
If you hadn't spent all that time riding circles and donuts around us, you'd have plenty of tires left.
"I can do burnouts.
" That You lost.
There's Because the Let it go.
I know.
I know.
You're gonna be up for days.
God, it feels so sweet when you suck at something.
I know.
Oh, it feels good! You know what? I'm not done here.
There's more.
I think the Chevy can do way more stuff than this.
I know the ram can.
Ferrara: We had successfully given Tanner a beatdown, but our toughest truck challenge wasn't over.
The real test for a pickup is towing capacity, so we set out once and for all to see who had the toughest truck.
I'm telling you, this is a great plan.
"This is a great plan.
" Remember those words.
Towing capacity.
What's yours? 24,400.
[Laughs.]
That is a lot.
But that's super-duty, so it's obviously on a different scale.
Mine's almost 30,000.
What? What? It's 22,000.
That's almost 30,000.
I'm just Just a little bit I'm 21,700.
21 what? Aha.
21,700.
So, this is one I'm ready for.
What do you got? Well, look, here's the deal.
We've seen all the commercials when people test trucks.
It's always, "oh, you can out-pull this guy" pulling a boat or a trailer.
" What does that have to do with telephone poles? Well, I just saw it, and I thought that'd be a cool thing to pull down.
I respect the destructive nature in you.
Well? Let's let it happen.
Okay.
In many famous man's words, "watch this.
" Does he know they're all hooked together? This telephone pole stands at about 4 stories high and is dug 20 feet into the ground.
Pulling it down is a perfect way to demonstrate my Chevy's towing power.
This is a great idea.
Yes.
He's gonna electrocute all of us.
No.
Yeah.
I'll be okay.
Just keep your feet off the ground.
Here.
This is the stuff you dream about when you're a kid right here.
"Oh, I wonder if you can pull a telephone pole down with a truck.
" I really like the idea, but it is one of the dumber ideas we've had on this show.
Pretty cool.
Four-wheel drive.
Chevy, I know you can do it.
Here I go! Here I go! [Wood cracking.]
Yeah.
Get angry at it, Rutledge.
Come on! Let's go! I'm in full support of whatever's about to happen.
There it goes.
It's coming down! [Laughing.]
He got two! Did you see that? That was beautifully stupid! I just ripped a telephone pole down! [Laughs.]
Chevy! But, to be fair, that's not really towing.
It's pulling.
I don't think that was all that impressive.
And you were hooked up to the top.
They look like they're gonna fall over on their own.
I tried to get one, and I got two! It sounded rotten The wood did.
Why don't you show me something cooler? I think I saw something.
Let's go.
You did awesome! You did awesome, Chevy! Two poles.
Somebody's gonna have to clean all this up, you know.
Foust: Rutledge's first annual telephone-pole pull-down was entertaining, but it wasn't the best way to show off a truck's towing capacity.
To show them my Ford was the toughest truck, I found the biggest and heaviest thing around.
I don't think pulling down a couple toothpicks really shows what a truck can do.
I agree with you, but this? Yeah.
This shows what a truck can do.
[Engine turns over.]
There's no way you're gonna be able to pull a train.
You have an engine and a coal car, all right? Do you know how much that weighs? That is 140 tons back there.
280,000 pounds of steel and iron.
And what's your tow capacity? Just shy of that.
Okay.
It's not load-rated for what we're about to do, but I just want to prove to you why Ford is the ultimate truck.
This is what "made in America" means, my friends.
Step back.
I'm gonna get a good vantage point here.
Truck, train.
Ferrara: Truck, train, coal car.
Moron.
This is never gonna work.
This is 140 tons.
280,000 pounds of train.
There's no way I can tow this.
Yep! Oh, you almost got it! Come on! Come on! Now it's time for a part of the show we like to call "big star, small car.
" That's where we put a celebrity in our Suzuki to see who can set the fastest lap time.
And our big star is one of my favorite comedians, Bill Engvall! [Cheers and applause.]
All right.
You ready for this, pal? I am ready for this.
I've watched the show.
Big fan of the show.
I've signed the will, and my kids are taken care of, and everything that needed to be evacuated got evacuated, so [Laughter.]
Good.
Good.
I'm ready to do this.
Look, we can hose out anything that comes out of you.
Yeah, I noticed it was all It's all tefloned and all that, so that's good.
Okay.
So, you get in there.
You tear it up.
I'm gonna take the audience, and we will meet you back at the hangar.
We'll see you in the hangar.
All right.
Let's go.
Go get 'em, pal.
Come on.
All right.
Here we go The dumbest thing I've ever done.
[Engine revs.]
Ferrara: All right.
He's off to a good start.
Until now.
Here comes the first turn.
Stay composed behind the wheel.
Sometimes you have to go slower to go faster.
I turned on the wipers.
[Laughs.]
Apparently heard it's gonna rain.
Bill is approaching a turn called the teardrop.
You cannot carry a lot of speed through here 'cause you will spin out.
Oh, that was nice.
This is where you can really just get on it.
All right.
Now we're getting the speed.
There's an 85.
Oh, my God.
90.
Haven't taken out a camera.
That's good.
He pretty good past the tires.
Whoo! [Laughs.]
[Laughing.]
And he's having a good time.
[Tires squeal.]
Oh, my God.
This thing's got some juice.
There you go.
This is cameraman's curve coming up.
Oh, that went nice.
Very nice.
There we go.
Now taking it home, baby! Daddy's hauling the mail! Okay.
Here comes daddy with the mail around the last turn.
And he is across the line.
That was better than sex.
Let me tell you that right now.
[Chuckles.]
I'm gonna need a cigarette after this is over.
[Cheers and applause.]
Bill, come on up! Bill, come on up here.
Bill Engvall! Good to see you, my friend.
It was great.
Wow.
How was that, brother? Did you have fun? That was crazy.
Yeah? There was times that it s really fun.
Mm-hmm.
And then there was times I had things puckering I didn't know I had.
[Laughter.]
That's a lot like marriage.
[Laughing.]
Exactly.
How'd you like the Suzuki? You know what? I got to tell you, I was impressed with that little car.
Really? It has a little pep to it.
You need to raise your goals.
[Laughter.]
[Applause.]
I will tell you that I was That when the show called and said, "would you want to be on?" I said, "of course.
" And they said, "if you want to bring your own car, you can.
" And so I looked at my wife, who has an Aston Martin vantage [Crowd "oohs".]
And I said, "honey," and she goes, "no.
No.
" [Laughter.]
So, your wife has an Aston? She has an Aston.
I have a '50 Chevy pickup that I've had redone.
I have a '77 volkswagen van.
You still smoke pot? Yeah.
[Laughter.]
[Applause.]
But it's all medical now.
Yeah.
It's all purely medical.
It the glaucoma.
And then I have a Mercedes s600, which I just love.
That's big.
Yeah.
And I love that car, but when you step on the gas, you hear this [Inhales deeply.]
And just watch the gauge just go 'Cause it's 12-cylinder.
What was your first car? My first car ever was a 1962 Ford falcon, and it was [Crowd murmurs.]
Yeah.
It was a two-door, three on the tree, and I tricked that thing out.
[Laughter.]
You pimped out a '62 I had a shag carpet in the back window.
[Laughter.]
Yeah.
Oh, it gets better.
I had a metal foot for a gas pedal.
[Laughter.]
And then I put my own 8-track in.
[Laughter.]
And had a date that night, so I got my best make-out music.
It was the "best of bread" 8-track.
[Laughing.]
Bread? And I'm driving.
I pop that 8-track in.
I'm just driving.
All of a sudden, I realize that the whole car has filled up with smoke because I've short-wired it somehow.
[Laughter.]
It was a great car for me because it was a great make-out car because the passenger seat, if you put enough weight on it, would fall backwards.
[Laughter.]
Insta-bed.
Now, let me ask.
Did you discover that, or did you rig that to happen? No, I actually It actually happened by accident.
My girlfriend at the time and I were parking outside of her house.
And I leaned over to make my move, and the seat just went Chprrkkw! And she said, "well, this is convenient.
" [Laughter.]
"Yes, it is.
" And I don't know why Ford never put that option in another car because Well, I am so happy you're here, and you really enjoyed the lap? Oh, I had the greatest time.
Yeah? How do you think you did? How fast you think you did? I don't know.
I'm looking at those times, and I think I just I worry that I'm gonna be slower than Chumlee.
I got to beat buzz aldrin.
What is he Like 90? Yeah.
[Laughter.]
But that's in moon time.
Oh! Oh! But let me tell you something.
You did it in 1 40 4 Oh! Point 3.
Oh! [Cheers and applause.]
All right, all right.
Yeah! Took down Bret Michaels, baby! That's it, man.
Oh! That's impressive.
My pal Bill Engvall.
[Cheers and applause.]
So, now, you're originally from Texas? Correct.
Big trucks in Texas.
If you don't have a truck, then there's no point in driving anything.
[Laughter.]
What's In your opinion, what's the best dually? Best dually for my money would have to be the dodge ram.
You're absolutely right.
It is the dodge ram, which you will see as we get back to our toughest-truck challenge.
This is what "made in America" means, my friends.
Step back.
I'm gonna get a good vantage point here.
Ferrara: Yep! Oh, you almost got it! Come on! Go! Come on! It's moving! Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Wood: There is no way he is pulling a train right now.
Are you kidding me? Yes! Yeah, but it's on wheels.
Yeah.
It's on wheels.
Doesn't count.
You know what? Doesn't count! It's a train.
On wheels.
No big deal.
Not impressive at all.
I'll show you something impressive.
Watch the ram.
Follow me, Thomas.
[Laughs.]
That's funny.
That's about Thomas the tank engine.
It's a kids' show.
Thomas He's a train.
He's on an island, and the front of the train is his face.
What's the island called? Sodor.
So sad.
There's Percy.
There's Thomas.
There's Clara.
There's a whole bunch of them.
There's a whole gang of them.
Ferrara: So, to top Tanner's Ford pulling a 280,000-pound train, I needed something massive, something gargantuan, something so big I could prove that my ram was the toughest truck.
Two termite-infested telephone poles and a train on wheels.
I Speak not.
Just watch.
Watch and learn.
Here comes the ram, boys! It was a 280,000-pound train.
Ferrara: On wheels! Cables were still I mean, it was a functioning telephone pole.
[Laughs.]
Such a bad idea.
We're gonna pull down a house.
[Laughs.]
Ferrara: Our toughest-truck challenge had come down to towing capacity.
Tanner's Ford pulling a 280,000-pound train was pretty impressive.
But I was ready to bring down the house.
Such a bad idea.
Come on, baby.
Let's show them what a ram can do, huh? This is gonna be great.
Total catastrophe.
You ready, fellas? Foust: Uh Is there an answer to that question, really? Here we go.
Do you feel confident in his ability to do this? No.
He's gonna mess this all up, and it's a house.
Start moving.
Oh, my gosh.
Hey, you're just digging a hole.
Well, that was impressive.
Watch him figure this out.
This should be good.
Remain calm! All is well! That house is just laughing at you.
No, he's gonna yank it now.
Oh, this is gonna look bad.
[Both laugh.]
Huh! Almost there! Rome wasn't built in a day, fellas! Go big or go home! Oh, don't [Bleep.]
Don't say that.
Don't say that to him.
[Laughs.]
Ohh! [Laughs.]
Ha ha! I think you did it! [Laughing.]
I'm pretty sure you just pulled that house down.
[Laughing.]
You pulled this house down.
I feel like a lot of asbestos just went into my lungs.
Are you okay? That was awesome.
Yeah.
So, I think we proved that the ram is the toughest truck.
I The house is first of all, it's not as heavy as the train.
This thing was falling in on itself.
Those telephone poles were in the ground.
Those telephone poles were put up during the eisenhower administration.
Will you stop it? Maybe.
Maybe.
They were still in there.
But they were rotten anyway.
And the train The train a good wind could have blown that train.
It was on wheels and on the track.
This was a house.
Gentlemen, I pulled down a house.
It's pretty impressive.
You took a lot of tries, though.
We need to go before these people get home.
Okay.
That's actually a good call.
[Cheers and applause.]
Gentlemen, I hope you were paying attention, because that's how you prove you have the toughest dually.
You pull down a house.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yes! I got to admit, I'm kind of confused at what that has to do with having a dually.
Like, basically, people buy these trucks for towing, right? I'm pretty much the only one that actually towed anything.
There's no description when people look in a magazine for trucks.
"Let's see.
Has it pulled down a house? Oh, yeah, it has.
" [Laughter.]
"Has it, over its load capacity, pulled a train 8 feet? Oh, that's not on there, either.
" "Wait a minute, honey.
"This pulled down telephone poles.
This is the truck for us.
" There's a footnote for that.
And for drag racing.
Who buys pickups for speed unless you're robbing a Walgreens in Georgia? [Laughter.]
I'll tell you who buys trucks for speed Everyone that buys a cool truck.
[Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
You beat me by 4 inches, maybe.
Uh, I don't think that matters.
I beat you.
You smoked the tires in the burnout, and then we tied on the truck ramp, which means the Chevy is the strongest truck in America! See you next time! Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I'm sorry.
It's the strongest truck.