UnREAL (2015) s02e03 Episode Script

1 Unh! Unh! Quinn: This year, we're kings.
Rachel: "Money, dick, power.
" Are you ready to welcome this season's suitor, Darius Beck! - Oh.
- Oh, my gosh.
Look at this.
Rachel: She takes angry black woman to the level of blinding rage.
So if what I'm wearing offends you, then there really is only one thing that I can do, and it's ooh! I had a fiancé.
He died.
Car accident.
I was driving.
Did you kill him? What? Chet, what the hell are you doing here? I'm taking my kingdom back.
Who's in charge here? - I am.
- I am.
I don't want to fight, okay? So why don't you shoot your show, I'll shoot my show.
- We'll see which one they prefer - You're so on.
Quinn: There's the network president.
Gary! Hi! My two bosses, they're making two different versions of the show.
I can't produce it with them on the set.
What in the hell are you guys doing? I'm putting someone else in charge.
Oh, really? And who might that be? Gary: Coleman Wasserman, come in here, please.
He is the one in charge now.
For now, I think I want to lean into what Chet's doing.
Chet: Hey, director! - More flying, more dirt! - Copy that! I want more shit drowning the lens, more shit flying around! You got it! Fire in the hole! Chet, what are you doing? - [ Laughs .]
- I'm making magic, man.
Over this hill, there's an ATV course.
You're gonna be driving the ATV.
There's gonna be explosions on the right, explosions on the left.
- Boom.
Boom! - Nah.
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- Yes.
And the girls are gonna be like Hello, ladies.
- Nice to see you.
Looking super.
- Chet.
Chet.
This right here is a man with a $50 million insurance policy on his body.
He can't even play a game of pickup basketball.
Pickup basketball? So there's no way he's coming close to an explosion or an ATV.
Hey.
Your body is not a commodity.
You tell you what you do with you.
Chet, first of all, my body is a commodity, okay? It's my living.
Funny thing I plan on protecting it.
This is a disaster.
Yeah, but I mean, what are we gonna do about it, you know? I mean, the network's boychick picked Chet's ridiculous date and now we're stuck with it.
Mm.
Ugh.
Speak of the Ivy League devil.
Ladies.
Hey.
How's the, uh How's our morning shaping up here? Well, let's see.
The ATVs are ripping up the lawn, there's a gaggle of lost girls in their underwear, and not a hint of romance in sight.
So I would say it sucks.
Quinn, I am not a threat here.
The network just put me in charge to get us back on track.
And you're the expert, huh? Oh! That's right.
You've actually never worked on an actual television show before.
I mean, have your balls even dropped yet, or do we still have that to look forward to? Why don't you ask Rachel? Apparently she's a big fan of this docuseries I did on Cambodian sex workers.
[ Scoffs .]
You know, that one that won all those awards, became the cornerstone of a new network, resulted in a bidding war for my services, which your network actually won.
Congratulations, by the way.
- Yay.
- So, yeah, the balls are down there.
Clankin' away.
You're annoying.
I agree.
I'm just looking for Chet.
Where is he? Check at the ATV track.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
Right up your alley, I mean, but who cares about story, right? Ugh.
If I was a man, they wouldn't be doing this to me.
I'd be wearing sweat pants, scratching my nuts, and boning 22-year-olds.
Hot 22-year-olds.
[ Scoffs .]
You know what? Hmm? - I'm gonna go hands-on.
- Hmm? I am gonna produce girls myself.
I am gonna paint them the friggin' Sistine Chapel, okay? And if they do not appreciate me then, screw them.
I'm done, for good.
I swear.
But you have my back, right? Must I remind you? Okay, good.
So you keep an eye on boy toy while I go talk to Wagerstein 'cause I'm going balls-deep in this bitch.
Give me damage and give me pain.
I'm not comfortable with this, Quinn.
After last year, after Mary After you blackmailed your way into a Healing Nook? Give me a break.
Come on.
- Chop-chop.
Let's go.
- All right.
[ Clears throat .]
Jameson.
The cop.
Her job forces her to disassociate.
Okay.
Has she shot anyone? No.
Boring.
Next.
Dominique's pro basketball career is studded with rumors of homosexuality.
Give me rumors of a straight female athlete.
- That'd be special.
- Okay.
Hayley's history implies that she's likely to act out sexually.
Ugh.
Snore.
You're putting me to sleep.
Okay, how about Brandi, our mixed martial arts fighter? Grew up in foster care, classic signs of abuse, trouble forming relationships.
See, now we're talking.
That's good.
Who else? What about, uh, Chantal? - [ Sighs .]
- We have to be careful.
You saw what Madison did to her.
Given her sensitivity over her fiancé, she could unravel.
Thank you.
Chet: Okay, then they run on the ramp, they bounce off the trampolines up over the rope wall and then bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, they run, they hit the balance beam over to the log hop and then finishing over here at the climbing wall.
I figure you put yourself out there every Sunday.
Let the girls compete for you for once, you know? Kind of "Miss America" meets "American Ninja" Hmm.
Miss AmeriNinja.
[ Chuckles .]
I thought it would be a good idea if Darius ran the course once and the girls watched.
- Mnh.
- Sorry, Chet.
Can't do it.
Or we could, uh, all sit in my skybox over here and kick back and watch the proceedings.
Oh, now, that we can do.
Okay.
Let's go.
I am hands-on today, so I will be producing two of your girls myself Chantal and Brandi.
Wait, I'm sorry.
You're gonna be taking one of my girls? Should we check with Coleman first, or Say his name again, and I will staple your dick to your anus.
That's perfect.
Sorry.
So, um, you're just letting Chet bury us today? Is that what's happening? Well, he's got the suitor.
I want to see what he does.
Well, the show's not actually about the suitor.
Just so you know.
It's about the contestants.
I just didn't want your inexperience to show without you knowing.
I've got experience all over the world Refugees, famine, war.
War is easy.
These girls are hard.
- [ Laughs .]
- Stop.
The only thing hard about this show is pretending it doesn't highlight how deeply vapid American culture is.
Okay.
Look, I'm not trying to be a dick here, but seriously, come on.
It's the lowest common denominator Buff boys, giggly girls.
If you're so good at your job, why don't you tell me why you picked Chet? Because he clearly gave a horrible pitch.
Awful.
But he's Gary's friend.
Okay.
So I'm giving him rope.
Let him hang himself.
And if he does, Quinn will be more than happy to pick up the slack.
I don't know what she's doing, but Kind of a risky move.
I mean, she could just walk away.
If that happens, then it might be your chance to shine.
[ Sighs .]
Hey, Brandi.
Hey.
How you feeling? Really good.
Yeah, it's weird.
I came here to meet a guy, but I'm meeting all these amazing women.
It's super cool.
Yeah.
Women.
Super cool.
What does that mean? Oh, it just means, you know, I don't have a lot of female friends, and I'm guessing you don't, either.
Why do you care? Pretty straightforward narcissism.
I see myself in you.
- [ Scoffs .]
- No way.
You are fancy.
Hmm.
Get up.
Come on, let's go.
Take your coat.
It's cold out.
[ Clears throat .]
You know, Brandi, actually, I grew up on a dirt road with no friends and an alcoholic father.
So, from one broken-ass little kid to another, watch your back 'cause everyone here wants the same thing you do, and they're all willing to fight for it.
Coleman: Is that stuff about Quinn true? Well, it doesn't have to be, but in this case, it actually is.
A false sense of security because you want the mean girls to braid your hair.
You see, this is how we make the show.
Darius likes you.
He told me.
Don't let them take that away from you.
Then let's go, shall we? We actually have to, like, create the drama on "Everlasting.
" We're curating the story week after week.
Right.
I just love that you take it so seriously.
It's reality TV.
It's good that you don't have to worry about making money for a living.
I've been pretty lucky.
I'm sure your trust fund helps.
What about your trust fund? - Seriously? - Marin County.
Vassar.
You don't know anything about me.
Your girlfriend watch this show? She was a huge fan.
Wait, why'd you guys break up? I, um - Hollywood.
- Mm.
Come out here with the network together, and then I wanted new opportunities.
I just felt like I needed some space.
Is she cool with that? Yeah, she knew we both needed a change.
What? She dumped you.
And for the first time in your Ivy League, NPR, picture-perfect, non-GMO life, - you didn't get what you wanted.
- Whoa, stop.
And you're just going from award-winning docs to reality TV.
That's a step down.
- I'm just saying.
- No, she wasn't She wasn't what? What? - Docs don't make any money.
- Right.
- She knew that.
- Okay.
I'm 28 years old.
I can't be spending the rest of my life playing catch-up with all my friends on Wall Street.
- Uh-huh.
- I would have never left her.
I loved her.
I would have given her the Hey, Coleman, just so you know that's how you make the show.
What you looking at, bud? - Uh, there was, um - No, no, no.
We can see it on the monitors.
Go set up B-cam.
Oh, sorry.
Am I in your way? Uh No.
All good.
You're Jeremy, right? The director? That's me.
So you're the one who's calling me "Hot Rachel.
" Well, you do kind of look like her a little, but way hotter.
[ Laughs .]
Just make sure you get my good side, okay? Do we really have to do this right here? I mean, they already don't like me.
This just makes it worse.
It's gonna be super easy, and I just need you to talk about something fun, you know, like Muslims or Jameson's hair.
You just want to make a big dumb joke out of me.
Unh-unh! No.
No, ma'am.
Look.
I'm not supposed to tell you this, but your Twitter has blown up.
I'm talking thousands of new followers every single day just because you speak your mind.
Really? You are like Donald Trump with boobs.
Oh! Well, all right.
Let's make America great again.
Sometimes I like to emphasize my lips.
It just brightens my whole face, don't you think? Have you considered working in politics? Let's try these eyelashes.
Okay, no.
Really.
Thanks.
That's enough.
No, no that's not even close to enough.
Look.
You want to skip the lashes? Fine, whatever.
But I'm telling you, they would change your life.
Okay.
Ruby.
Look, I know you don't want to hear it, but you know who doesn't win this thing? Hmm? Rosa Parks.
And who does? Well, if I have anything to say about it, a wifey A black and beautiful wifey.
That's just not me.
[ Scoffs .]
Have you ever even tried? Have you ever even put on a dress? Have you popped that cleavage? Can you even get through one day without saying the words "white privilege?" Mm.
No, I didn't think so.
Well, you know what? You got to try it.
You got to work him, girl.
Otherwise pack your damn bags.
You're going home.
Yeah, they're setting it up now.
Oh, wow.
You look great.
Thanks.
I mean, especially after the year you've been through.
You know, it really upsets me that people would question your motives for being here.
I don't listen to gossip.
Wow.
I really respect that.
I mean, if some needy fighter chick was accusing me of using my own fiancé's death to get ahead, I don't know what I would do, but it wouldn't be pretty.
[ Chuckles .]
Brandi? Is that her name? I mean, she is so full of it, you know, assuming that Darius wouldn't be interested in someone as fragile as you.
I know, I can't believe it.
But, you know, I got to say - You seem great.
- [ Chuckles .]
Let's do this.
Cue our hostess with the mostest.
Cue the host.
With four more contestants going home tonight, the pressure's on each one of our ladies as they vie to win this obstacle course and a one-on-one date with our suitor.
Oh, nice.
This is our first qualifying round of four girls.
Tiffany.
Chantal.
Brandi.
And London.
On your marks, ladies.
Let the games begin! [ Starter pistol fires .]
[ Cheering .]
- There you go! - There you go! - You got it! - There you go! Ho! - Oh, shoot! - Let's go! London Bridge is falling down Get up! Get up there! Hustle! Hustle! [ Cheering .]
Oh! Whoa! Oh! Really? Trampolines? Slo-mo boobs? How old are you? Such a thing called testosterone, Quinn.
So I've heard.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go! - Come on.
[ Cheering .]
Balance, balance.
Y'all better catch up! Let's go! There you go.
Oh! Oh! [ Laughs .]
[ Cheering .]
Let's go! Let's go! - For the win! For the win! - Let's go! This is it! Oh, shit.
Medic! We need a medic! [ Bell rings .]
Whoo! Woman: Oh, my God! What happened? Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Don't move her, don't move her! We got to do a concussion protocol.
How could you do that? You hurt her.
Okay, that's bad.
[ Door closes .]
Rachel.
Go for Rachel.
Put Brandi in the hole.
When we did that in Season 8 Just do it! Copy that.
Brandi: I didn't mean to hurt her.
You know that, right? She stepped on my hand.
I really didn't.
Whatever you meant to do and what you did, they're two different things.
Just wait here.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey! You can't lock me in here! Rachel! Please, let me out! You don't get it! Let me out! I can't be locked up in here.
I can't breathe.
Please! Rachel, I need you to get Darius ready to visit Chantal, okay? And tell Madison that she's got to prep her girl.
I want our Bl-ifey wounded and wet.
I need to get out.
Do you have an end game? Don't lock me in.
Please let me out! Definitely.
What do you mean? I can't be locked up in here.
Sideline Chet.
Give me the rest of the day and let me run with it.
Done.
Please! Done.
Please, let me out! Don't say backseat, okay? I don't do backseats.
- I'm the driver.
- Right.
I just feel like Quinn has a stronger handle - On today's storyline.
- Do you? That's all this is.
I'm just saying I created the show.
- I respect that.
- And I think maybe you've been blinded by a little vaginal fairy dust, huh? Look, Chet.
We're just trying to make a good TV show, man.
That's it.
All right.
[ Cellphone chimes .]
Hey.
I want some good news.
Give me a little good news.
What did Tell me what the judge said about the custody.
Fuck! Just give her that winning smile of yours, make her feel special, and give her this stupid stuff.
Honestly.
Oh, my God.
I got it, okay? I got it.
I'm just saying, if you want to win over the women of America, this is how you're gonna need to do it, okay? Fine.
I'll charm her pain away.
How's your pain? What's that mean? It means that I've been watching you.
You didn't do the ATV, you didn't do the obstacle course.
You're a professional athlete, and I've never seen you work out.
I'm just saying.
You're making shit up.
I'm fine.
We're fine.
Watch and learn.
Hey, you.
How you feeling? Darius.
I'm so glad you came.
But I don't want you to see me like this.
What, beautiful? Come on, girl.
Of course I came.
I was worried about you.
Look, I know what it's like to take a hard hit.
It shakes you up.
This is great.
I'm wet already.
Copy that.
Oh.
I brought you these.
Oh, they're lovely.
And this little guy here [ Both chuckle .]
Is wearing my number so that you don't forget me.
Aww.
Ugh.
Nice hospital room.
And who put that band around her head? She looks like a fortune teller.
I do what I can.
When I fell off that wall, I didn't know what to think.
And then I woke up in your arms.
It made me see things just a little more clearly.
Fantastic.
I've lived my life in a very clear way, built a future I could be proud of, and then I lost it all in the blink of an eye.
It was just gone.
She's like, "It's just gone.
" Ugh.
I never thought I could feel that way again, but today, with you, it made me see what we could have together.
Oh, yes.
Here we go.
Come to Daddy.
Producer: Yeah, that's good.
Zoom in.
zoom in - There you go.
- Yes! - Oh! - [ Laughs .]
What a slut.
She's a good girl.
True love.
They can find it here.
Or we could make it.
You rest.
We can talk about all this later, okay? I'd like that.
So would I.
Rest.
[ Chuckles .]
Ladies, hi.
How are you? There you go.
You look thirsty.
Woman: That's number three, and I feel great.
Man: A drink, huh? All right.
Tiffany, you got this.
You got this in the bag, girl.
Hey.
Yeah.
- Can you come with me for a second? - Yeah.
[ Music continues indistinctly .]
You sure you don't mind? Are you kidding? Always happy to help a sister out.
[ Laughs .]
What are you doing here, anyway? What's that supposed to mean? I don't know.
You just seem too smart for all this.
[ Sighs .]
We're all too smart for this.
You look amazing.
See you down there.
You know I'm not using nothing, so stop.
[ Laughter .]
Excuse me one second.
I'm sorry.
I'll be right back.
I promise.
Damn, you clean up nice.
Can we talk for a second? Absolutely.
Please.
Just who I'm looking for A man who knows his game inside the pocket.
You can see we're trying to have a conversation here, right? Come on.
There's a dozen of us and only one of him.
I'm guessing Darius can handle two at a time.
So, you could really see yourself dating a black man? - He's a quarterback.
- How can you not cut this bitch? She doesn't even see you as a person.
- I am actually a quarterback.
- Did you just call me a bitch? Yes, I called you a bitch because you are an ignorant fame whore who would screw a crocodile if it got her enough Twitter hits.
At least I'm not some prissy librarian wannabe African who can't even afford her own dress.
You and your Southern heritage are bullshit.
Hey, hey, hey! Ugh.
There's no hair pulling, no scratching.
It's like a B-plus at best.
Time to blow this turd up.
Hey, whatever plan you've got going for yourself, do you just want to, like, fill me in on it? 'Cause at this point, you just keep taking all of my advice and then just, like, throwing it out.
She just pisses me off, okay? [ Laughs .]
Oh, my God.
You like him.
You do.
You actually like him.
That's the only reason why you even give a shit about any of this.
- That's so sweet, Ruby.
- [ Sighs .]
So, stop lashing out and start thinking.
You're the smartest girl here.
Use that.
[ Panting .]
- [ Door unlocks .]
- [ Gasps .]
I can't Look, please.
I get very Don't lock me in here.
Quinn: Your social services file didn't say anything about confinement issues.
That filed is sealed.
I was a minor.
We do background checks.
Good ones.
I don't talk about that stuff.
You let me out.
[ Door closes .]
Chantal has a concussion.
- Oh, my God, is she gonna be okay? - We don't know.
All we know is that you pulled her off the wall like you wanted to kill her.
I'm so sorry.
I I didn't mean to hurt her.
I swear.
It's just sometimes, um Sometimes I just can't stop.
Listen.
I don't know what happened to you.
You know, foster care is a nightmare.
I can only imagine.
But this kind of thing Ä°t just makes you seem, well, crazy.
I am not crazy.
The other girls don't feel safe around you.
If you could just let me out Just for a minute.
Please.
[ Sighs .]
Did someone hurt you? I'm gonna need to be sure that you're not gonna hurt anyone else.
Coleman: Holy shit.
[ Door closes .]
So, what do we do now? We go in for the kill.
Hey, Brandi.
I'm here to get you ready for the date.
- [ Door closes .]
- What date? You won the obstacle course, but actually, I think it's probably just Darius wanting to say goodbye.
But I haven't even had a chance to tell him what happened.
Well, Quinn actually said that you didn't want to talk about everything.
Are you changing your mind? Not that.
I-I need to explain that when I grabbed Chantal, I didn't mean for Nobody cares about that.
That's That's not gonna make a difference.
- [ Sighs .]
- That's not fair.
[ Sighs .]
You really want to stay? - Yes.
- Okay.
Well, then, I think there's only one thing you can do.
You got to make Darius understand.
You know, you got to tell him everything About all the pain you had growing up.
I think he's gonna fall in love with you.
Okay.
You've been through so much, and you're still a good person.
How would he not fall in love with you? Good God, she's good.
And the two of you together are terrifying.
He'll look in your big brown eyes - Thank you.
- and that'll be it.
Remind me never to get on your bad side.
Case closed.
Call it a wrap.
Rachel, I got it.
I give Brandi my winning smile.
She'll melt just like Chantal.
- Hey, listen to me.
- And we all live happily ever Listen to me.
Listen, listen, listen.
This isn't some, like, racist chick you can just hand your shirt.
This is an actual human being who wants to have a real connection with you, so please just give her a chance.
That's all I'm asking.
Of course.
You look beautiful tonight.
Thanks.
All right.
Can you just tilt up the frame a bit? - [ Whispering .]
- I might not be directing, but I know how to frame a shot, Rach.
All right, so just tighten up.
Uh, before we go any further, there's something I want to say.
Okay.
I am so, so sorry about today with Chantal everything.
That is not who I am.
[ Sighs .]
I I didn't have a mom.
She gave me up when I was a baby.
Oh.
That's so sad.
I've had lots of foster moms.
Some were good, and some, not so good.
I get it.
My cousin grew up in the system.
It was hard.
Yeah.
Foster moms were one thing.
The dads that's a whole other story.
Oh, here we go.
There was one.
He used to make me cook for him.
And every mistake I made, he would - [ Sniffles .]
- It's okay.
It's okay.
Come on, let's go for the gusto.
Let me see.
- [Voice breaking.]
- He had a cigarette, and he'd Oh.
I'm so sorry.
I couldn't stop him.
I tried.
Tears.
I got you tears! - I tried so hard.
- It's okay.
He's gone now.
He's gone now.
And you don't need anyone to protect you.
Not anymore.
You are a strong, beautiful woman.
That's what you are.
Oh! Yes! Sistine Chapel going online! Oh, yeah! I am so hard right now! Yes! [ Sobs .]
I got you.
All right.
Come on.
Let's do this.
Let's move, people.
We need to prep the elimination.
I need Wagerstein in my office.
We got to put this surprise into action.
Oh, and Rachel, I need Darius in my office in five minutes.
[ Laughs .]
Boo-yah! Hello.
Hi.
Hi, Darius.
Uh, I am so sorry, but we just found out.
Uh, this is Brandi's mother.
Bea.
Oh.
Foster mother.
Her only mother.
But I thought, um She told me you gave her away.
Apparently, that is the story that Brandi likes to tell.
She's, uh She's had problems.
She's a pathological liar.
So, she wasn't in foster care? My goodness, no.
And the scars? She did that to herself.
Oh, my God.
She tells these stories to get attention.
Well, she definitely got mine.
I'm so sorry.
Please, just let me take her home.
After a day of heartbreak, of competition gone sour, it is now time to say goodbye to four of our contestants.
How do you feel tonight, Darius? Honestly, Graham, it's been brutal.
But I'm so happy that Chantal can be with us, especially after her injury today.
There's obviously no way she's going home tonight.
In fact, I can't imagine sending four of you home.
Not after today.
So I'm not going to.
Graham, I'm rewriting the playbook.
I've been thinking a lot about honesty.
Honesty is the most important thing to me.
Okay, I need you to go tight on Brandi.
No, tighter! I've heard the truth, and I've decided to cut Brandi.
You lied about foster care today, - even after I told you about my cousin.
- What? You lied about everything your mother, the scars.
That's not right.
- Not right at all.
- I didn't.
Look, I get that you have some things going on, but lying to my face like that? You're not the woman for me.
Goodbye.
Darius, I didn't lie.
I told you things I haven't told anyone.
Stop.
Stop, stop.
Look.
Your mother's right there.
Say hi.
I've never seen that woman before in my life.
Goodbye, Brandi.
We're done.
I didn't lie! [ Darius groans .]
Oh! Oh! [ Clattering .]
- [ Groaning .]
- I told you the truth about everything! Security, security, security! Aah! - [ Glass shatters .]
- [ Gasps .]
I didn't lie! Get off me! Darius, I didn't lie! - [ Groans .]
- I didn't lie! Get off of me! You guys are crazy! Get her out of here, guys.
Come on.
Don't you touch me! All of you guys are crazy! Everyone here is crazy! Call the Emmys, baby, because "Everlasting" is coming to collect.
Coleman: And Brandi's mother? Central casting, baby.
Time to celebrate, bitches.
You okay? Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good, I'm good.
I'm fine.
[ Sighs .]
My boy just got owned by a girl on national television.
What the hell were you thinking? Making television worth watching.
It's over.
Forget about it.
What's done is done.
All I want to do right now is crash.
Chet: What, are you kidding me? I've never seen anything like it.
Hey.
Are you all right? - I'm fine.
- Yeah? The adults are having a conversation, Chet.
About what? How to humiliate a person on TV? Because we're supposed to be helping this man's image, not destroying it.
And what would you know about image? You can barely dress yourself in the morning.
So don't just waltz in here and tell me how to run my show.
I think you mean Coleman's show.
We'll see.
Who knows what's gonna happen after the network sees the sizzle on today's episode? Shit's gonna change, all right? So why don't you just sit back and continue to play pocket pool with your little balls? I have work to do.
[ Door closes .]
Boys, I'm sorry.
I wanted this to be a positive male experience, and it turned into the crap that I hate.
We just need to stick together on this.
Chet.
Honestly, we're done for today.
You're right.
We'll talk about it at my place.
Uh, look.
Quinn feels like Romeo and I should move back into the mansion.
It seems easiest for everybody, so we're gonna hang here.
[ Groans .]
Okay.
Okay.
[ Door closes .]
[ Player squeaking .]
I didn't lie! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey! Security, security! Get off of me! I told you to truth about everything! That was awful.
Genius But awful.
You're not worried about blowback from Brandi? No.
Nobody's gonna believe her.
We've got the lawyers, the network, the money.
She's just like a disgruntled contestant who was cut.
- [ Chuckles .]
- You're something else.
I'm choosing to take that as a compliment.
Well, you should.
Why are you still here? With your skill.
There's a whole world of great content out there.
Why are you doing this? I've actually been pushing for a black suitor for years.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's like a big moment.
I think it could be an entire cultural shift if I can get this story right.
I'm not just walking away from that.
Yeah, I get that.
If you do want to walk away, though, I can loan you some money from my trust fund.
You're such a jerk.
[ Chuckles .]
- [ Ringing .]
- [ Sighs .]
Cynthia: Hello.
Hey, Cynthia.
It's me.
Hey, uh, I know that you've been granted sole custody and that, uh, he's just a baby.
But I am his father, and I I just, I want him to hear my voice.
If [ Phone beeps .]
[ Knock on door .]
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Uh, I was just coming by to check on Darius and make sure that he was okay.
Yeah.
No, he's fine.
Okay, great.
Well, then can I just come in and say hi? He's asleep, Rachel.
Like you should be.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
[ Ringing .]
Gary: You've reached Gary.
Leave a message.
[ Beep .]
Hey, Gary.
It's Quinn.
I just sent you over a sizzle reel of what we just shot.
- [ Chuckles .]
- Get ready because, uh, when that airs tomorrow night, everybody's gonna be talking about it.
You asked for suicide ratings without the suicide, and I got it.
- [ Chuckles .]
- I mean, emphasis on "I.
" You know, as in me.
As in all by my lonesome.
As is you can call off your dog, okay? I don't need him breathing down my neck.
All right.
You're welcome.
Dick.
- [ Sighs .]
- What are we doing here? Gary said we'd know it when we see it.
[ Horn honks .]
And that could be it.
Oh, he must have a small dick.
[ Groans .]
[ Laughs .]
Nice ride, am I right? - [ Chuckles .]
- Gary, looking good, man.
Yeah.
Everybody, gather around.
Gather up.
I want to talk to you.
Come on in.
Okay, first of all, I want to say thank you for all your hard work yesterday.
I've seen some of the footage, and, uh, I'll tell you, the episode is great.
It may be one of our best.
And that is because of you.
All of you.
Okay? [ Applause .]
But there is someone I want to thank, without whom none of this would be possible, without whom this show would be an ordinary run-of-the-mill reality piece.
But with them, it is extraordinary.
We are breaking boundaries and getting Gonzo ratings.
[ Applause .]
So Coleman.
No.
- [ Laughs .]
- What? [ Chuckles .]
- Gary.
- I'm serious.
- Are you - Yeah, come on, now.
- Come here.
- This is - This is too much, man.
- No, no, no.
You deserve it, right? Wow.
Thank you.
Coleman.
Everybody.
What a douche bag.
Quinn.
A word.
Is this your new thing? The sucker punch? Because I brought that episode.
You know I did.
Yeah, you brought it because Coleman is here getting you guys to do your best work.
- [ Scoffs .]
- Don't tell me how to do my job when your number two comes to me behind your back.
That's right.
Rachel came to me in the middle of the first episode.
Said you and Chet had no idea what you were doing, wanted me to send both of you home, let her run the show all by herself.
That's why Coleman's here.
Mm.
Hmm.
You want your hands back on the reins? Get control of your people, Quinn.
Oh, I will.
Believe me, I will.
Coleman: Hey, Rachel.
Hey.
Can you get out? What What's wrong? Quinn she just, like, found out about Gary, and um Rachel, come on.
No, she's gonna, like, chop me up into millions of little pieces.
They're gonna ship me off to different countries.
- Rachel.
Rachel.
- Yeah.
You don't need Quinn.
Don't you get that? I watched you work today.
You were incredible.
I mean, Quinn and Chet, they're dinosaurs.
Sure, they can run this show.
They can run "Everlasting.
" That's all they can do.
Between you and me, we can make shows that actually mean something, shows that people need.
Ah.
Sorry.
Too soon.
I'm sor Madison: Rachel, where are you? Darius says he needs you.
Oh, God.
I have to go.
Right now.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Not, like, coming like that.
I'm not going anywhere.
- Rachel.
- Go.
[ Baby babbles .]
There's my boy.
Darius, it's Rachel.
Darius: Yeah.
Come in.
You okay.
Shut the door.