Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e03 Episode Script

1 Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Alright! Hater! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Whoopsie.
That is one corker of a chipped tooth.
How'd this happen? Fath frufid str nfmd Wandfer hibbuh dabba toof Wandfer! Wandfer! Wandfer! All righty.
This should help calm you down.
You might feel the teensiest stinging sensation.
There we go, there we go.
- Wander - Excuse me, Mr.
Hater.
Can I get the name of your emergency contact to come pick you up? Wander Wakey, wakey, Hatey no more toothache-y.
I know you.
What are you guys doing here? We came to pick you up.
You listed us as your emergency contact.
What?! Well, if you're my femergency frontact, then we must be best friends.
There's a slight chance the sting of the painkillers has scrambled his brain a bit.
It should wear off, but until then, it's important you see that he gets home safe.
- I love you guys.
- Okay, this is weird.
I know, I know.
Hater's not actually my best friend.
That's just a gajillion volts of electric squid talking.
My mouth feels like purple.
- Exactly.
- And the smart thing to do - is get him safely back to his ship.
- Yep.
It's not like having a day of fun with us would cause Hater to realize that being a good guy is way better than being a bad guy.
- That would be crazy.
- I know.
Maybe this bonding experience would actually make us become best friends and we can hang out and help people, and have our own secret friend language, and people would be, like, "What are they talking about?" What are you talking about? And I'd be, like, Glee-bibble-glorp, Hatey!" and he'd be all, "Slamdibble-doo, Wandey!" Hey! Quit your jibber-jabber and let's go have some fun.
Slamdibble-doo.
Sorry, Syl, but I'm holdin' out hope for Hater.
Sigh.
Friendship Day! It's Lord Hater.
Games, prizes, people, pizza, ice cream! I want a fudgy-pudgy blorp-berry swirl with nuts and chocolate sprinkles and rainbow sprinkles and nuts! And no skimpy scoops! My tooth! Too cold! Oh, it's okay, buddy.
- Hey, you wanna play some games? - Uh-huh.
Ah, maybe today won't be so bad after all and posted.
Left.
No, right.
A little down.
Okay, go.
Come on, come on.
Yeah! Ooh, scary skull ring.
Look out.
It's coming to get you.
I'm not afraid of that.
I know it's not really scary.
Come on, pal! Here we go! # Twisty slide, music, arcade, cheesy dip, ice cream, soda pop, corn on the cob We got it all and Gelatinous Bob Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa We got it all and Gelatinous Bob We got it all and Gelatinous Bob Joey Protozoa.
What's worse than finding a space worm in your apple? I don't know, Gelatinous Bob.
What is worse than finding a space worm in your apple? Finding half a space worm in your apple.
'Cause the other half is probably devouring your insides.
Whoa! That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Whoa! That's way better! Can you hear my thoughts, my buddy from a distant star? I'm not sure I even know who you are.
Look at me like a kid out of school, hanging out with a fool.
A fool who I think is actually kinda cool.
I don't think he knows he's talkin' out loud.
- I'm countin' on it.
- Why am I starting to drool? Okay, this has been fun, and more importantly, hilarious.
But we really have to take him back.
But he hasn't tried to destroy us once all day.
But who knows how long his brains'll stay scrambled? You can't force him to be something he's not.
But what if this is our chance to prove that deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, Hater's an okay guy? Because he's not.
No! Bad Lord Hater.
Bad! - Thanks for the boost, Mr.
Hater.
- No problem, Olive.
Good luck on that spelling test.
Oh, what is this warm feeling inside? Is it heartburn? That's the feeling you get from helpin' folks.
Wow, I wanna help more! This day can't get any weirder.
One, two, three, four! Yeah, Hater's on the sidewalk helpin' Granny cross the street He's in a restaurant pulling out a lady's seat Stop a train crash, take out the trash Found a needle in a haystack Scratch an armadillo's back Raise a barn, protect an egg Show an elderly man how to email a jpeg Stop some crime, solve a paradox in time Help me come up with, up, up up, up, up, up, up, up, up - Rhyme! - # Thank you, friends # Chaperone the prom, calm a mom Lend a friend lip balm Then we spruce up a theme song Here we go now Yip bi di dit bip, Hater makes it better Yip bi di dit bip, Hater makes it better Hater Hater, makes it, makes it Makes it better Yip bi di dit bip, Hater makes it better Lord Hater? Sir? Are you down there? What is that thing? It looks familiar.
It's nothing.
Look away! What should we do? Run away! No, stay perfectly still.
No, let's check him for cavities so that dentist will zap him so loopy that he'll stay nice from now on.
I don't wanna go up there.
It's scary! I wanna stay and have fun with my best friend, Sunshine Banjo Face.
Oh, he must've been zapped harder than we thought.
Ooh, I know.
All we have to do is dishwash the tinkle kitten until the bandage is impossible, and we're floppin' crone scone.
No, we gotta take you back.
I wanna be your friend, but not like this.
True friendship comes from the heart, not an electric squid to the face.
Come on, pal.
I had a fun day with you.
But a true emergency contact delivers his friend home safe.
I know you don't want to, but you gotta go.
We'll be fine.
It's over! Go on.
Get.
Leave us alone! We don't wanna hang out with you, ya big dummy! I just hope we rubbed off on him a little bit.
Good to have you back, sir.
And just in time for our full-scale invasion of Crystalline 7.
Wha? Invasion? That's not nice! Sir, what are you doing? Sir!! Yip bi di dit bip, Hater makes it better Oh, thank goodness.
It was all just a bad dream.
If only, sir.
If only.
Hangin' out with a fool.
A fool I think is actually kinda cool.
Why am I starting to drool? Wander!! Frab-drassin' ham spangler.
I slept terribly.
Anything I can do for you? Nah.
I got six or seven cricks in my neck.
It's like my pillow was extra flat last night.
- Wander, something wrong? - No, it's no big deal-io.
He's back.
- To the lab.
- The lab? It's not that big a deal.
Pillows get flat all the time.
- Exhibit A.
- A whoopee cushion? A message.
The calling card of the most villainous villain to vex this or any other galaxy.
Lord Hater? Emperor Awesome? - It's not Dominator, is it? - Worse.
Someone from my past, someone who thinks he's good, but is really bad.
Good news is we're gonna stop this bad guy from doing any more bad things he thinks are actually good.
Since when do you stop bad guys? Usually you sing a song or play some silly game to drive 'em nuts.
This is no game.
What? What's the trouble? Snatched statues? Ransacked rubies? - Misappropriated masterpieces? - What? Oh, no.
Someone just stole the display pillows from our gemstone exhibit.
- It's worse than we thought.
- It is? I mean, it is! I'm gonna need full background checks on all museum visitors.
Get me names, birthdays, favorite colors, summer vacation plans.
According to the footage, our pernicious pillow pilferer - struck at precisely 3:14.
- So? 3.
14 are the first three digits in the numerical value for Pi.
Pie is delicious, which rhymes with wishes.
If wishes were fishes, we'd all have enough to eat.
I know where he's going to strike next.
- Quickly, old chum.
- Old chum? Now I get it.
Emperor Awesome is sabotaging all the pillows so he can throw an evil slumber party and I don't get it.
You have a rather extensive collection of feather boas, do you not? Where are they? Feather boas are so out.
Now it's all about actual boas.
I threw those ratty feather ones away.
Curses.
Empty.
We're too late.
But he left a message.
- Wander, wait for me.
- What's your hurry, becs? Oh, gross.
Despair, citizens of Cluckon.
Your inevitable domination is Gaaah! Oh, gross! Peepers, I can see their nuggets.
Ah, finally.
A villain I can sink my fists into.
- Not so fast.
- Oh, come on.
It's Lord Hater.
He's like the definition of bad guy.
Go away! And yet, he's small potatoes in the baneful broth of the real villain's gumbo of repugnance.
Gumbo of Okay, that's it.
I am sick of the grim and gritty routine, and getting dragged across the galaxy for some missing pillows, frilly scarves and plucked Cluckons.
It's not that big a deal.
I'm not moving until you tell me who we're up against.
Him.
Attention, galaxy.
My fowl plan is almost complete.
Prepare to face the wrath of the mischievous Dr.
Screwball Jones.
Now tremble in eggs-cruciating terror as my latest plot leaves you shell-shocked.
Behold my fantabulously fantabulous tickle machine.
This joker is who you think is the most dangerous villain in the galaxy? He what?! Of course.
He stole all those feathers in order to create a weapon that would make everyone laugh, thus forcing the universe to be happy.
- Isn't that like your whole deal? - I only present the positive path.
I don't force you to follow it.
This is kinda fun, in a baby way.
Okay, I get it.
That's enough.
All right, it's getting annoying.
Quit it.
Stop! Stop! Please make it stop.
This is the worst thing that's ever happened happened to me.
I guess this is no laughing matter.
Get it, because of the Great.
Now he's got me doing it.
Hey, Chuckles.
I got a punchline for you.
Then you'll need a set-up.
- What's worse than a tickle machine? - Literally anything.
Wrong! Two tickle machines.
Oh, please.
Too bad I'm not ticklish.
Except for behind my knees.
Holy somatosense, Wander.
This is awful.
He is a monster! Huh? - Knock, knock.
- Who's there? - Orange.
- Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? No need to split.
You might find this a-peeling.
Get it? 'Cause you said banana back there.
What's the matter? Seeing stars? Your noxious novelty nightmare is over, Dr.
Jones.
Why do you continue to resist me? After all, we both want to spread joy throughout the universe.
Hey there, let's have some fun Join my good-time gang Just one question first Rhubarb or meringue? We'll make folks happy through the land Have them howling on their knees So, my little orange friend Lend a hand if you please Hey, don't look so shocked Ain't it about the time To let the pun fit the crime? Screwball, you try too hard Dr.
Screwball, if you please, I've got an online PhD Folks should be free to find their own happiness You can't force 'em to have fun Sure, I can.
Watch this! Accordion! Banjo retort! Hey, you're pretty good But I think that we both know It's time to let my Sylvia go Never! String break.
Here's a joke How are you just like a lollipop stick? In the end, you're both worn down By the force of my licks Ha, ha, ha-ha-ha-ha! Ain't it a laugh, ha ha ha ha Looks like the end of the line So let The pun Fit the Crime.
- Wait.
I've got one last pun for you.
- Oh, oh, oh, let me guess.
You're ending on a sour note? You snapped your C-sharp, so now you'll B-flat? How about who's laughing now? This isn't funny.
I mean, it's kind of ironic, I guess.
Curse you, Wander! - Boy, what a super day.
- Buddy, from now on, if you say something's dangerous, I'll believe you, even if that was the stupidest danger we've ever been in.
What just happened? Well, sir, looks like, once again, the day is saved, - thanks to Wander and Sylvia.
- Meh.
Now tremble in eggs-cruciating terror That's good, good.
As my latest plot leaves you shell-shocked.
Yeah.
Oh, I am so good.
I am so good! Oh, this is gold!