American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e04 Episode Script

1
[Ringing]
Ah!
[Ringing stops]
Aw, man. I'm gonna
be late for
School should not be
a den of lazy loodling.
To institute
mid-midterm examinations
beginning next week.
Procrastinate
up a schnitzel creek
without a paddle. No?
Test? But I got
to go to
Practice.
It makes perfect.
Double dutchy,
dutchy double ♪
That's when I
seen you in trouble ♪
4:00? Later, guys.
Oh, whoa.
Come on, jakey.
The regional double-Dutch
championships are next week.
We got to put
in the hours ♪
Before we hit
the showers ♪
I can't. I have
to do my
Chores. You're gonna
have to help out more.
I need you
to baby-sit the trash
and take out your sister.
Stop. Reverse that.
Trash out, sister-sit.
But, mom,
I'm swamped and
Late for dragon training.
Young one, time management
is a dragon skill
every bit as important
as breathing fire or flying.
I'm trying to Ace two
lives over here, remember?
That is why I am giving you
this personal digital assistant.
Huh? Hey!
Internet. Chinese checkers.
This thing is tricked out.
Kid, you're preaching
to the choir.
If that baby could pay
for a steak, I'd marry it.
And check out the magical
scheduling feature.
Hi. I'm megs McGee,
your new pma,
personal magical assistant.
Cool.
Man, what a day.
[Yawns]
Finally, time to sleep.
[Buzzing]
Ah! Ah! Up and at 'em,
lazy mcsnore-snore.
Emergency dragon
training session,
central park.
Now! Up, up, up!
Aw, man.
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
People,
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
With his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
His destiny
will walk up streets ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
American dragon ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C. ♪
You heard!
American dragon ♪
No one shows up late
on my watch, maggot.
Hup, march, hup, march.
Nice present.
So what's
the big emergency?
We must prepare you
with more powerful
dragon defenses.
Observe, young one.
Huh?
No way. How did you
hone that clone?
Dragons have the ability
to project their chi energy
into a copy of themselves.
It can provide
a useful decoy in battle.
Man: Get that unicorn.
Speaking of battle Ah!
You know how much
unicorn horn goes for
on the black market?
Young dragon, this is
a perfect opportunity
for you to try
the doppelganger
decoy technique.
2 of me. Yeah.
I dig the sound of that.
Dragon up.
Concentrate your
chi energy, Jake.
Project it forward.
[Grunting]
Release the inner energy,
young dragon.
[Grunting]
[Belches] Excuse me.
Hmm.
[Grunting]
Ok, I know I laid down
a decoy that time.
Well, kid,
it is distracting.
Loo-ga-loo!
All: Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Man: Get out of here.
Oh, come on.
You will have to master
the doppelganger
in your free time.
Free time?
I don't have any free time.
I don't have
any time at all.
I will be off reporting
to the dragon council
this week.
Master the decoy
by the time I return.
But for now, young one,
it is time for you to sleep.
Ahh.
Sleep. Sleep.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Aah!
It's 7 A.M.
school is waiting,
Princess cinder-lazy.
Ah!
Up and at 'em!
Up and at 'em!
Up and at 'em!
Good of you
to join us, Mr. Long.
I wasn't aware
it was pajama day.
Say what?
Aw, man.
Jakey, are you sleeping?
[Snoring]
Jake, you're supposed
to be watching me.
Where I need a lot
of one-on-one attention.
Oh!
Hey! Hiya-ho there, family.
Jake, you are gonna be
tickled pink camouflage
yep. I signed you up
for advanced wilderness
survival training
with the cougar scouts.
But, dad, I'm kind
of booked up.
And we live
in the middle of the city.
Hey, mister, I don't care
how big-city mouse you are.
A growing boy needs to know
his basic survival skills.
Tying knots, lighting fires,
whittling wood,
and, of course, the ol' making
dancing acorn finger puppets.
I can't take
much more of this.
Now, absorb
that cheap imitation
and try, try again.
Oh, can't you help
a player out?
You know, hook me up
with a little magical mojo.
No. Forget it, kid.
No shortcuts.
But I feel another
birthday suit about to pop.
Here. Sprinkle a little
of this in the air
before you concentrate.
It'll help amplify
your chi energy.
Now, that's what
I'm talking about.
[Grunting]
Oh-ho-ho!
We have a winner
of the Jake long
look-alike contest.
Uh-goo-goo!
Hmm?
Yo, check me out.
I did it.
Dang. Do I really
look this good?
Congratulations, kid.
Let's call it a night.
And you can try doing it
without the magic
training wheels tomorrow.
But I got
cougar scout training.
I also got to study,
go to jump-rope practice,
take care of Haley,
do my chores.
How is one person
supposed to do all that?
So how's your calendar looking
for the next week, my man?
So I'll take the sleeping.
You'll take the garbage.
I'll take the napping.
You'll take the algebra.
Algebra? Aw, man.
Wow. You really
are my double.
I don't know.
This seems highly irregular.
Oops. Rolling blackout.
Don't you dare!
Where's my newest
little cougar?
Oh, no. It's dad.
We got to hide.
A scouty howdy
to you, Jake my boy.
Are you ready
for cougar scouts?
Uh, scouty howdy
right back at cha.
I sure am.
When we hear you shout,
shout "I'm a cougar scout" ♪
Scout grrr grrr ♪
So no one thought
there was anything wack
about you? Not even my dad?
Nope.
Cougar scout training
is your thing.
You're all over it.
Like smoke
on a campfire.
Great. But I still got
to study for school,
do my chores
around the house.
Hmm.
All right,
you're study boy me,
double-Dutch me,
chore hound me.
Chop chop.
Time's a-wastin'.
Finally, fu's chi amplifier
comes through in a pinch.
Nothing to do
but sleep, chill, and relax.
Man, all this nothing to do
is exhausting.
Hmm. Wonder how
my doppel bros are hanging.
Then Olivia meer
said if I was such
a know-it-all,
why didn't I know pigtails
are so second grade?
Oh, no, she didn't, girl.
Guess what.
It's Steve Hardy time.
Both: Yay!
Ha-ha!
Son, this is by far
the best full-body
tourniquet I have ever seen.
Thanks, dad.
That would be mesopotamia.
I could tap
the budenschlavens
on my lederhosen.
Come. A celebratory jig.
Hit it, Frederick.
Oompa, oompa,
that's a gooda boy ♪
Ok, now I'm just
scaring myself.
Ooh, jakey!
You on fire, boy!
Trix, come here.
I'll show you a trick.
I'm gonna
take over here. Cool?
But this is what I do.
It's who I am.
I jump rope.
That's all I have.
Come on. Give it up.
Whoa! Ow! Ooh!
Ok, who tripped
the bradster?
[Gasps]
Oh, look. It's doofus.
The only jumping I'm gonna do
is on your face with my fist,
which isn't jumping,
but it's still gonna hurt.
Psst. Brad, teacher. 12:00.
Meet me
at the skate park, 3:00.
I can't do it today
'cause I have accordion
lessons after school.
So 3:00 tomorrow.
Everyone's gonna know
you're a chicken.
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
Ha ha ha ha!
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
Aw, man.
Guys, this Brad sitch
is serious. I--
Aw. Ok, who dealt it?
All: Not me!
Whoever smelled it
All: Dealt it!
Ha ha. Very funny.
Now, let's get down
to business.
One of us has to show up
to meet Brad tomorrow.
We can't use
any dragon powers.
We're gonna have
to face him straight up.
So I'm looking
for a volunteer.
[All whistling]
One of us has
to represent tomorrow.
Now, who's it gonna be?
That's what
I'm talking about.
My man here isn't
afraid of Brad.
I'm terrified of Brad.
No way I'm going.
But you raised your hand.
To suggest that you create
another doppelganger,
one that's designed
specifically
for this task.
Hmm. Jake long,
I like the way you think.
I know it's here somewhere.
Jake, don't worry
about Brad.
Trix and I totally
have your back.
Uh
Both: Aah!
Aah!
Hey, cool acorn puppet.
Jakey, what is
going on in here?
My schedule got
totally swamped,
so I brought in
a little help.
That this one's
the real Jake long
and not the other one?
Spud, trust me.
I could trust you
or you can tell me
what my favorite possession is.
A ball of belly button
that you've been collecting
since you were 3?
Ecch! That's disgusting
And also correct.
So I'm choosing
to believe you for now.
But I'll be keeping
my eye on you.
I'm gonna go ahead
and take a wild guess
on this one.
We've been double-dutching
with your double, right?
Yep. But you have to admit
this guy has some fly moves.
I jump rope,
therefore I am.
This is not about winning
the double-Dutch tournament.
This is about trust,
friendship.
Hey, that boy can put
a hurtin' on some jump rope.
Look, guys, I just need
to make one more double
of myself,
one who can take
the beating from Brad tomorrow.
Let's see. Here we go.
I just wanna say
for the record.
You should get rid
of all of these
jakey clones.
Ooh, except this one.
Ooh, he is all mine, ok?
Welcome to the world,
my man.
So you down with getting
beaten up tomorrow?
Sure. I can do that.
Look, I'm sorry
it had to go down this way.
Just protect your face,
and I promise it'll
be over quickly.
I promise it'll
be over quickly, too.
Boo-hoo. Jakey's probably
crying to his mommy right now
that he's scared
of the dark.
I mean
I mean the bradster.
Yo, Brad, what up?
Oh. I didn't think
you had the guts to show.
So where do you
want it, huh?
The face? The gut?
Surprise me.
Hmph. Grrr!
[All gasp]
Huh?
Wait. What's happening?
Ow!
Ow! Let go! Let go!
Whatever you say, Brad.
Whoa!
It's dark!
I'm scared. Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
All right, Jake!
Huh. That was
so not cool.
You were supposed to take
a beating from Brad,
not dish one out.
Maybe, but that's
not the point.
You're my doppelganger.
That means you take my orders
like the rest of the gang.
Yeah. The thing is,
I'm not like the others.
Huh? You're right.
'Cause you're history.
I'm reabsorbing you
right now.
I don't think so.
Dragon up.
Now, let's have some fun.
Whoa! Ah!
I never thought I'd have
to kick my own behind.
But here goes.
Dragon up.
Whoa. I'm feeling
really weak.
Ha. You feel weak
to me, too.
Ah!
Oh! Ow! Ow!
Uh!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Kid, please tell me
you're joking, huh?
Don't you get it?
Every doppelganger you make
sucks away part
of your chi energy.
That's why your
gas tank is on empty.
But it was working out fine.
Why did this one go bad?
I did it
just like you told me.
I reached over here,
grabbed the vial.
This is a negative
chi amplifier.
If you made a doppelganger
with this stuff,
it's guaranteed to be
100% pure evil.
An evil body attached
to this pretty face?
That's just wrong.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't stand a chance
in your condition.
You're gonna have to reabsorb
all the other doppelgangers
and take back the strength
they're sucking from you.
So if I reabsorb them,
I can take this guy out?
Uh, maybe.
If it's not too late.
But you can't
reabsorb me.
I got a bear trap
to finish
and a neckerchief slide
to lacquer and--
Where's my
little cougee scout?
Let me hear you
shout, shout ♪
I am
a cougar scout-- oh!
Someone has been working
on his bear trapping
patch, hasn't he?
Hey, hey.
I am seeing twosies
for the price of onesie.
Twosies?
Surprise.
That's a cougar--no!
No!
Well, it looks like
we had the same idea.
You'll take me back
when you can catch me
and beat me,
which is--
Oh, right--never.
So I'll just
be dragoning up
and taking over now.
I don't understand
a word of your teen
slang jive.
What's a "dragon up"? Whoa!
Oh, it's on now, punk.
[Humming]
Yah!
No!
Whoa!
Clean-up, aisle 10.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Sorry. I'm done
answering to you.
Oh, can't you just name
the capital of Bolivia for me?
Does it hurt your head much
to bring me joy?
Quick. I got to get you
out of here before--
Too late.
Got to get
to jump-rope Jake.
Trix, if you
don't let me have him,
my evil twin is gonna
destroy my rep,
the magical world,
and who knows what else.
But, Jake, that boy's
got mad skills.
End of the world here.
Wah! Ok.
Yo! Heads up!
Too bad for being
so self-absorbed.
Yo!
Evil Jake reabsorbed
my doppelgangers
before I could.
Wait a minute.
All of 'em?
There's still one Jake
I need to reabsorb.
And what Jake
would that be?
The original.
I have 10 times your
chi strength and power.
It would be easier
not to fight me.
I'm done taking
the easy route.
Huh?
Whoa. That's some
negative self-image
you got there.
Let's get out of here.
Let me go, fu.
It's time I put me
in my place.
Kid, you're not playing
with a full deck,
and he's got three of a kind
with an Ace kicker.
We better just duck and cover
till gramps gets back.
No. This whole
thing happened
'cause I tried to take
the easy way out.
That dude's got my face.
He's got my powers.
But there's still
only one am-dragon,
and it's time
I took care of business
the hard way.
Dragon up.
Oh!
Whoa!
Calm down.
Didn't anybody tell you
I rule over
all magical beings now?
Uh, just so you know,
I've always been hard
on myself.
But don't take
my word for it.
Whoa!
You're gonna run away again?
American chicken.
Hmm?
Prepare to be absorbed.
No!
Release my chi energy.
No magical shortcuts.
Got to do it on my own.
Hey, can I play, too?
What? How can that--
Now, release
my doppelgangers.
The rope!
We're free.
Us 3 on the count of 3.
1, 2, 3.
Yeah!
And last but not least
No!
We showed us
who's boss.
That was better than
a s'mores sing-along.
Jumping for joy.
A-plus.
Guys, I got mad love
for how you had my back.
But from now on,
this drag is going stag.
Yeah. The thing is,
I got to find a way
to handle my own business,
you know,
without shortcuts
Or lies.
So you guys got to go.
It's the least I could do,
with all the time
you're putting in
the double-Dutch tournament.
Now, let's go Ace
those mid-midterms.
[Beep]
I'm proud of you, Jake long.
By prioritizing your schedule
and calling in some help,
you have achieved
time management perfection.
Jake, aren't you supposed
to be watching Haley?
Don't worry.
I called in a favor.
Huh?
Can you believe
how Olivia meers
busted her Patty party doll
beach-time convertible
and then blamed it
on poor Chelsea fudderman?
[Gasps] The nerve!
Jake gave up
on the magical cheat
doppelganger thing way too soon.
How cool would it be
to doppelgang yourself?
Could you imagine
the possibilities
of having 2 spuds?
Or why not 3 spuds? Or 4?
Uh, 5 spuds. 6 spuds.
7, 8, 9, 10.
Of an armada of identical
spuddelgangers could do.
What wonders
this world would behold.