Back to the Future (1991) s02e04 Episode Script

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do, Was play my guitar and sing So take me away, I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time Emmett "Twinkle Digits" Brown here in the 1940s, just in time to enter this jitterbug dance competition.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Coincidentally, Verne took dance lessons and even entered a jitterbug contest in 1944.
But it was quite by accident.
You see, Verne didn't much care for dancing school.
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) GIRL: Ow, ow! (YELPING) (CRUNCHING) Ow, ow! Harry, stop the music! (PIANO KEYS SLAM) (SNORING) For three weeks, I've been trying to teach you the waltz, Vernon Brown, and I'm not giving up now.
Pick up the beat, Harry! (SNORTING) (FASTER PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) Vernon, you'll learn to dance if it kills you! (CRASHING) (MUSIC STOPS) It is killing me.
VERNE: Mom, you gotta let me quit! I hate that stinkin' dance class! Verne, it's important to finish what you start.
Why, look at what I've accomplished since lunch.
(BANGING) I know how ya feel, Vernie.
(EXCLAIMING) I just hope the reverse isn't true.
Did you ever have to take dance lessons, Pop? Yes, a humiliating experience.
I only suffered through it because I heard it would make me a hit with the bobby-soxers.
You know, I seem to recall an invention that might help you with your problem.
A-ha! One pair of Fance-o-dance Memorizing Shoes! For you, son.
I don't know, Pop.
They look pretty goofy.
And they smell worse! Well, they worked well enough for me to place second in the Hill Valley High Jitterbug Jam.
Now, let's see if these babies still work.
(CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYING) Ah, cha-cha! Gesundheit.
(SHOES BEEPING) See, Verne, there's nothing to it.
(MUSIC AND BEEPING ACCELERATE) Ooh, this makes me so mad! Easy, Pop, don't lose your tempo.
(SCATTING TO MUSIC) Ahhh! (CRASHING) Awesome, Pop! Now I remember why I finished second.
Find the blueprints? No.
And without them I'm unable to construct a new pair of Fance-o-dance shoes.
Ooh! I have it! The Flash back-o-matic! DOC: Bing! Showtime, Vernie! (MACHINE RATTLING) DOC: Great Scott! It's 1191 South Kelsey! Yours truly lived there back during World War II.
Free rent if I cleaned the oily rags from the service station below.
(CHEWING) World War II? Back in the '40s? Yes, we were fighting the Nazis.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Air raid drills, victory gardens, bond rallies Everyone was worried about spies.
I didn't want the Fance-o-dance shoes to fall into enemy feet Er, I mean, hands.
(SIREN BLARING) DOC: A blackout! Unfortunately, that dresser burned up in 1945.
There was a fire started by some oily rags.
No sweat, Pop.
We can hop in the DeLorean and be back with those blueprints before dinner.
Vernie, you know if I met up with my past self, that would upset the entire space-time continuum! And that's not good? No.
I'm doomed! (MARTY SIGHING) I gotta find something to eat.
I'll buy you a Super Double Grease Bomb Burger from the Chow Hut if you take me on an errand.
Uh, no, thanks.
I found somethin'.
Mmm Huh, pretty good, whatever it was.
One of Dad's fungus experiments.
(SPITTING) I can't believe what I'm doing.
But why should this week be different than any other? (HORN BLARING) (HORN BLARING) (BOTH SCREAMING) (HORN BLARING) (BOTH SCREAMING) (TIRES SQUEALING) What in the ever-lovin' free world was that? VERNE: This looks like the right place.
Locked.
I guess we came all this way for nothing, Verne.
Verne? Verne! (CHUCKLES) Hey, no way, pal! That's breaking and entering.
But this is my Pop's house.
And in about 50 years, he'll give us permission to go in and get those blueprints.
Oh.
Well, yeah, okay.
MAN: (ON RADIO) Hold it right there, buster! (STAMMERING) Wrong apartment! Uh, sorry, ma'am.
Hold it right there, buster! Oh, one of Doc's inventions.
I should have known.
(VOICE DISTORTING) Hold it right there, bust The blueprints are supposed to be in here.
Oh, bummer.
Looks like Doc must have locked the drawers.
Nah, he's probably got 'em voice-controlled like his ones at home.
(MIMICKING DOC) Great Scott! Ow! (EXCLAIMING) (MIMICKING DOC) Holy Bovine, Marty, you found 'em! Gettin' them blueprints was a piece of cake! (CRASHING) Yeah, upside-down cake.
(WHISTLE BLOWING) STRICKLAND: Halt! Friend or foe? MARTY: Hey, hey! Turn that thing off! Was that you two flashing those lights upstairs? Don't you know there's a war on? You're not trying to signal enemy planes, are you? What are you jabbering about, mister? A matter of national security, sonny.
They didn't make me blackout warden for nothing.
Uh, it's been nice chatting, but it's way past curfew.
Curfew's not till 2200 hours.
(WATCH TICKING) Oh, gee, and my watch only goes up to 12.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) We are late.
Look! A German Spitfire! Where? (WHISTLE BLOWING) I'll get you, slackers! BOTH: Bummer! (BLOWING WHISTLE) Must be some kind of secret weapon.
I'd better notify the military at once! Let's bail! (PANTING) If they capture the DeLorean, we'll never get back to the '90s! Unless we hang out here for 50 years.
Don't worry, Vernie.
I'll think of something.
(STREETCAR BELL CLANGING) Boy, our victory garden sure has a lot of rocks in it.
Hey, who are you calling a rock? I Hello, beautiful! (YAWNING) Thanks for the shower.
Looks like we've got a bumper crop this year.
I'm Rosie, and this is my sister, Dorothy.
I'm Marty, and this is my sister (STAMMERING) Uh, friend, Verne.
(STRAINING) Nice to meet ya.
(WHISTLING) Here comes trouble.
On the double.
At ease, Rosie.
Sergeant Frank Tannen at your service.
I don't believe it.
You mean another Tannen? No, that we won the war with him on our side.
Hey, baby, how's about tonight you and me grabbin' a couple of sodas and playin' the jukebox at the, uh, USO? I'll even let you treat.
Sorry, Frank, but I just washed my hair and I can't do a thing with you.
Now, now, dollface.
I don't like takin' no for an answer.
(GRUNTS) Hey, who's the wisenheimer? I mean, uh, wise guy? Don't you like tossed salad? Sure.
It goes great with a knuckle sandwich.
Er, thanks, but I'm on a knuckle-free diet.
Come back here, you little dummkopfs, I mean, dopes! Ow! (CRASHING) Yoo-hoo! See ya later, alligator! Have some ketchup with that side of dirt.
Tomatoes! Ooh, now I'm really stewed! Mission accomplished, Vernie.
STRICKLAND: Halt, you troublemakers! I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.
You gotta catch us first! Marty? Is this the line for food? You bet! They give you three square meals a day.
(CHUCKLES) Great! Uh, well what do I have to do? OFFICER: Just sign this.
I'm starved! When do we eat? Right after you finish your first day of basic training, son.
Welcome to the Army! (STUTTERING) Did you say, "Army"? Gee, I (ELECTRIC RAZOR BUZZING) That's right, you're a GI.
Well, then, not too much off the top, and I like a little mousse.
Don't worry, Joe! We'll make you all pretty for your new drill sergeant.
Greetings, Private! Ready for a little boot camp? (LAUGHING) MOVIE NARRATOR: Still caught in the throes of war, a nation rallies to help the boys fighting overseas.
Across the country, factories have been working overtime to boost production, and war bond rallies have become an everyday occurrence.
Even ordinary citizens, like Emmett Brown of Hill Valley, California, are pitching in to help in the war effort.
Better luck next time, Emmett.
And at local recruitment offices, young men are eagerly signing up to serve their country.
Marty! This is murder.
How much longer we gotta pull this detail? Until tomorrow morning, when that expert from secret weapons comes to dismantle this sauerkraut-mobile.
(STREETCAR BELL CLANGING) Mega bummer! Why so glum, chum? Marty's been drafted, and if I don't do somethin' by tomorrow morning, I'm stuck in the '40s.
(CHUCKLING) Gee, you don't look a day over 10.
ROSIE: Say, you want to come over to our house for lunch? DOROTHY: Yeah! How's about a nice Salisbury steak? Nah But a hamburger would be great! (GASPS) Don't let anyone hear you say the "H" word! They may think you're a Nazi spy! (BELL CLANGING) Sorry, but I doubt you'll be seeing Marty for a long time.
Hey, while you're waiting, how about being my partner for the jitterbug contest tonight? We could be the next Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers! Aren't they dead? Huh? (CRASHING) I got no time to hang around here! I gotta get Marty out of the Army! You kiddin'? The Army'll make a man out of him.
(SOBBING) I wanna go home! This is your home, soldier! Now shape up or ship out! Oh, great! Uh, what time do we sail, Sarge? All right, funny boy.
Drop and give me 20.
Uh, gee, I'm a little short this week.
Would you settle for a couple of fives? MARTY: Ah, food at last! At least, I think it's food.
Yuck! (CHOKING) This stuff tastes worse than Doc's fungus experiment.
And it's not as pretty, either.
MAN: Stand back! Medic coming through! Soldier, you look sick.
Nah, I'm just hungry.
(REGULAR VOICE) Marty, it's me! You're goin' AWOL.
(VERNE MIMICKING SIREN) McFly! MARTY: I can't believe what we're going through for a stupid pair of dancing shoes.
Hey, got the blueprints, Vernie! Stealing Army blueprints? So, he's a spy! (TIRES SQUEALING) (GROANING) I'm gonna need that wheelchair myself.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, I gotta tell you, it's great to be here or my name isn't Bobby Doodles "Buy War Bonds" Dawson.
(CHEERING) Hey, war bonds.
They're a great way to support our troops, and the guys in the front lines will love you for it.
Yeah (GROWLS SEDUCTIVELY) You're doomed, McSpy! Fresh! BOBBY: We've got a great show for you tonight.
There's funnyman Jerry Eau de Cologna, And those singing sensations (GROWLS SEDUCTIVELY) the Anderson Sisters.
It's over now, you traitors! Fresher! If Sergeant Tannen catches me, I'm gonna be peelin' potatoes for the rest of my life.
ROSIE: Can we help? (CHUCKLES) You couldn't hurt.
You're on, girls.
(SINGING) We're ready, ready, ready All set! And now, to swing a tune for tonight's big jitterbug contest, Those melodic maidens the Anderson Sisters! (MUSIC PLAYING) I got you now, you little runt.
(SCREAMING) This time you're not getting away.
Uh, care to dance? (GRUNTING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING) (SINGING) It's time to jitterbug your cares away Hit the dance floor and begin to sway (ALL GASPING) (MUSIC STOPS) (CROWD LAUGHING) (FALSETTO) Uh I'm their cousin! (GIGGLING) Must be Mary Lou's kid.
Her Side of the family never had much in the (DEEP VOICE) Looks department.
(FALSETTO) Take it away, Les! (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING) He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way MARTY: (OUT OF TUNE) Way He had a boogie style that no one else could play He was the top man at his craft (SCREAMING) But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft.
He's in the Army now A-blowin' reveille (OUT OF TUNE) Blowin' reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B Hey, easy, dollface.
Remember, loose hips sink ships.
VERNE: Hey, dancing's not as bad as I thought! You're in the groove, Jackson! I think the judge likes us, too.
Well, I don't! Good thing you're not the judge.
Whoa! Freshest! Enemy plane, three o'clock.
(CHEERING) Congratulations from Bobby Doodles "Handing Out the Dance Trophy" Dawson.
You two really know how to cut a rug.
I thought we were dancing on wood.
Hey, pretty fancy footwork, pal! Yeah, that was crazy, man! Here, Dorothy.
And thanks for teaching me that dancing's cool! I hear the Anderson Sisters got a new singer.
(CRASHING) Halt! Who goes there? (STAMMERING) Uh, the general asked us to check the motor.
Oh, yeah? Which general? Uh General Motors! Yeah, and General Electric asked us to put out your lights! DOC: I can't say I approve of you two getting these blueprints But, as long as you didn't interact with anyone, I'm sure there's no harm done.
Now, what style of Fance-o-dance shoes would you like, Vernie? Loafer? Pump? Sneaker? Pumps that look like sneakers? Don't need 'em, Pop.
I found out that I'm not such a bad dancer after all.
(WATCH BEEPING) And I better shuffle out of here or I'll miss my class! (CHUCKLING) I'm glad to see you're not a quitter, Vernon.
You bet! I want to get good and win myself a trophy.
(CHUCKLES) Yes! I won this one in the 1944 Hill Valley Jitterbug Contest.
Jitterbug contest? Dorothy? A little dancin' music, Harry! (SNORTING) (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) Dance has been a part of human culture since we first stood erect.
We dance for all sorts of reasons.
Social reasons You know, boy meets girl, girl meets boy Religious reasons, as seen here.
Sometimes dance becomes the expression of fine art.
And sometimes dancing is just a way to let it all hang out.
The basic proponent of all dance is moving your body around your center of mass.
(THUD) Failure(CLEARS THROAT) to properly execute such a maneuver is known as having two left feet.
Let's learn a little more about our own centers of mass.
Access video encyclopedia section "C", for center of mass.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Section "C".
Entry, center of mass.
DOC: There are a couple of fun ways to demonstrate center of mass.
One requires two forks, a potato, a toothpick, a coffee cup, and a glass of water.
You can't balance a potato on a toothpick.
There's too much potato and not enough toothpick.
However, if you insert the forks into the tasty tater, you are transferring the center of mass away from the bulky spud and, thus, away from the thin toothpick.
Voilà! The two extended forks balance the potato.
It's the same principle as extending your arms to keep your balance.
And finally, future scientists, certain proof that men and women are not created equal.
Move a chair up against the wall and stand before it.
Now, bend over and place your forehead up against the wall.
Pick up the chair and then attempt to stand.
If you're a girl, no problem.
However, us males of the species have a bit of difficulty with this one.
And why is that? All women have their hips set slightly lower than men's.
This means that their center of mass is also slightly lower, thus enabling each and every female to do this.
Amazing! I won! When I tripped over my partner's foot, crashed into the orchestra and bounced off the bass drum, the judges thought it was a new dance step.
(LAUGHING) (CRASHING) In case you didn't notice, that, too, was a new dance step.
See you in the future! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)