Better Late Than Never (2016) s02e04 Episode Script
Berlin - How Do You Say Roots in German?
1 MALE NARRATOR: Europe.
Birthplace of Western civilization and a world of unparalleled culture and sophistication.
[BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO.
5".]
[GLASS SHATTERS, MUSIC STOPS.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! - All right.
NARRATOR: They're back.
Oh, no! Oh [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! NARRATOR: Four living legends - William Shatner.
- Hey.
NARRATOR: Saddle up again.
Give my best to my family! NARRATOR: For a European adventure they'll never forget.
- Whoo! - Oh, no! NARRATOR: Starring TV superstar You I can't take anywhere.
NARRATOR: Henry Winkler [MELODIC MUMBLING.]
NARRATOR: Cultural icon - Oh, my God.
NARRATOR: William Shatner.
NFL Hall of Famer Anybody here know how to AI a goat? NARRATOR: Terry Bradshaw.
What is wrong with you? NARRATOR: Former heavyweight champion - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa NARRATOR: George Foreman.
Oh.
NARRATOR: And - Ahh! NARRATOR: Jeff Dye as the sidekick.
Ahh! [BLEEP.]
, Jeffrey.
NARRATOR: Tonight - Yodel-lay-hee-hoo! NARRATOR: Berlin.
How are we gonna get in that little car? All right.
Go.
Now I know how toothpaste feels.
- It's illegal.
- What is? - Spray-painting.
- What are you doing? - You guys.
- Hasselhoff rules.
David Hasselhoff, come on out! I've been looking for freedom Are you wearing pants under that? Hey, that's not funny.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Sorry.
- Uncle George! - Hey! - I'm George's friend.
NARRATOR: Just when you thought it was safe to go back on vacation You've lost your ever-loving mind.
- Yep.
NARRATOR: Better late Give me a hug, Al.
NARRATOR: Than never.
Another adventure in another country.
Whoa! This place is the best.
I gotta go clean my britches out.
[LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
Twist and shout Come on and let it out - I'm excited to see Berlin.
- What are we doing in Berlin? One of the reasons that we are here in Germany is because my parents escaped from Nazi Germany in 1939.
- But you speak German.
- Well, I speak German, 'cause they spoke to me in German in my house.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
- [LIVELY POP MUSIC.]
- So, are we gonna discover your roots? Well, I don't know.
That is an interesting question.
How do you say "roots" in German? - "Roots.
" - "Oots.
" I've never actually been in Berlin, so this is really an adventure of a lifetime.
Time to burn some rubber.
[NENA'S "99 LUFTBALLONS".]
- - That's amazing.
Wow.
- - - There's something for you.
- Wow.
- - - Oh, my God.
- Yep.
- - - Wow! - Going to town.
Hey, we're here.
The Brandenburg Gate is where major things happened.
Whatever that means.
Here we are at the Brandenburg Gate.
[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC.]
Guys, let's take a picture right in the middle together.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Man.
All of this history.
Remember what Kennedy said? [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
What? Ich bin ein Berliner.
Ich bin ein Berliner.
I am a Berliner.
Oh, really? - That's what he said? - Yeah.
All right.
Tell me all of the things about this.
Armies would march through, and it became a symbol of victory, and the Germans used it as victory.
The Allies marched back and forth under it.
- Napoléon.
- Napoléon.
- Wait, so who made it? - Frederick the Second.
What, was it a victory of Prussia over Prussia? Prussia was part of Germany.
- Part of Germany at the time? - Yeah.
Wait, so it was made "under Prussia?" [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
I don't really wanna be next to this guy.
That statue was taken by Napoléon back to France.
Then when Napoléon was defeated, it was taken back to Germany.
There's old Bill over there.
"Oh, well, everybody, this was built in, uh, 1675, and, uh" What else do we know about the gate? Oh, well, that's about it.
Don't matter what they say 'Cause we be killing it killing it killing it All the way Oh! [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
What part of town is this? What hotel are we going to? Actually, here it is.
- What is this place? - Look, they spelled it wrong.
- The H is missing.
- Hostel.
- Yeah, and it's by Communists.
- Oh.
- [LIVELY TECHNO MUSIC.]
- - - What exactly about us says youth hostel? - Oh, yeah.
- [WHISTLES.]
- Wow.
- Are you kidding? - Wow.
- Ah Where are we, bub? You mean when are we.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Look at all this old junk.
- I'm Henry.
- Hi.
- This is George.
- Brad Pitt.
- Hello.
- Jeff.
- My name is Daniel.
Hello.
- Bill is coming behind us.
- He's out of breath.
Fat people get out of breath faster than most people.
We've stepped into Soviet history here.
Very interesting.
I like the decor.
Y'all put a lot of thought into this.
- Everything is original? - Yes.
This is original GDR Design hotel.
The German Democratic Republic.
GDR.
Otherwise East Germany, Communist.
Why, if we're successful capitalists, would we stay in a Communist hotel? - I thought it'd be fun, man.
- Yeah.
I've always heard about the Communist party.
- What? - [CHUCKLES.]
Communist party.
Oh, you're just dumber than a box of rocks, aren't you? Did you grow up in East Germany or in West Germany? - In East Germany.
- You did? - Yeah.
- Oh.
When David Hasselhoff took the Wall down, - did you get to see it? - [LAUGHS.]
- Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
- Yeah? I've been looking for freedom - You were there.
- Oh! [LAUGHS.]
- I've been looking for freedom - - Since I left my hometown - - [CASH REGISTER DINGS.]
- A lot of people don't know this, but I'm a huge David Hasselhoff fan.
I like him mostly 'cause he had a robot car, and I've always wanted a robot car.
So, sort of jealous.
And I like that he lived in a time when everyone had a mustache, but he held out.
You know, the Wall is 96 miles long.
Why didn't he just go to the end of the wall and go around the side and go on the other side? - Uh, what? - [MUMBLES.]
Huh? [LAUGHTER.]
- [LIGHT, PLAYFUL MUSIC.]
- - - - So, we need five five rooms.
- - [INHALES SHARPLY.]
Now? - Yeah.
- We don't have.
- You only have four rooms? - Yes.
- So, that means two of us - have to stay together.
- Oh, boy.
And no elevator.
What? Do we have air conditioning? - No air conditioning.
- What? - Cable television? - Oh, no.
- We have a nice garden.
- Garden? - You have a gym? - [LAUGHS.]
No.
- You have a phone? - Yeah, this is the phone.
- One phone? - Yes, when you talk to Moscow.
All right.
To the rooms, boys.
Here we go.
This is it.
This is the only one left.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna sleep with my clothes on, if you don't mind.
- I don't mind.
- No.
- That actually is preferable.
- Yeah.
I'm sharing a bed with Jeff.
[SOFT, BRIGHT MUSIC.]
There are some books here.
- Books? - Yeah.
I'll just build the Berlin Wall.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's about all books are useful for.
There you go.
Now I'm proud to be able to tell all of my friends and family that I slept with The Fonz.
Hey, you wanna go out and explore? Yes.
- Should we get the other guys? - Yeah.
Well, it's time to get out and see Berlin.
- All right.
- Not only did I get us booked at a Communist-themed hostel This place is great, huh? But this place comes with a Trabi car.
Not sure what that is.
- That it? - That says Trabi car.
- Are you serious? - How great is this? - [GROOVY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
- How are we gonna get in that little car? Well, you get in the trunk.
- - This could be the worst car ever made.
Terry, you gotta get in back.
In the back? I got long legs, you short thing.
- Let's do it.
- Put me in the trunk.
It's like a clown car.
I'm gonna sit in the middle.
Where'd you get this piece of junk? Come on, Georgie.
Don't worry about me.
- Big George is in.
- Oh, my God.
Now I know how toothpaste feels.
Oh, my God.
I can't breathe.
- Okay.
- All right.
Go! - [ENGINE GRINDS.]
- Ah, dang.
- Put it in neutral.
- Well, I don't have - Don't press back.
- Oh, my God.
- I got a leg cramp, guys.
- Come on.
Come on.
[ENGINE IGNITES, REVS.]
- All right.
- That a boy.
Give her some gas.
- Oh, no! - No! [COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
Who wants to wear the bear costume? - Not it.
- Not it.
Look at how happy he is.
He's never been happier.
- There is a glare coming - from between your legs that is blinding me.
[CACKLES.]
I'm not attractive.
I need a nose job.
It's cute and it's pert.
- You think it's really cute? - It really is.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[FOGHORN BLARES.]
- This is great.
- Oh, no.
We're off to the Wall.
ALL: Hey! - We're gonna get arrested.
- I hope so.
It's the only way we're gonna live.
Oh, my God.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
- Where are we going? - How far is the Wall? - The Wall? - Oh, there it is.
- - - [PEOPLE YELLING IN GERMAN.]
- - [CASH REGISTER DINGING.]
- - I think I'm shorter.
- Get out.
- [SPEAKS GERMAN.]
- My bad.
It was the emergency brake.
Everyone okay? - That was some stop.
- There we go, yeah.
I wanted to be close with these guys, but I didn't want to be this close.
[GRUNTING LOUDLY.]
I am never going back in this car again.
How are you gonna get home? Like a clown car.
In Berlin, there's graffiti everywhere.
It is 100% illegal to spray paint the Berlin Wall, but a bunch of other people did it.
[SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
- - Oh, no, I - It's illegal.
- What is? Spray painting.
Everyone else is doing it.
Look.
- You can't do it.
- I'll do it.
- How do I do it? - It's illegal.
Don't spray that.
Don't do that.
I'm not sure about this.
It's an historic and important landmark.
I haven't broken a law like this maybe in my life.
Look what Terry's doing.
[SPRAY CAN HISSING.]
- [CACKLES.]
- What are you doing? - You guys.
- Ha! This is "go to jail" illegal.
It is not just highly illegal, you could be arrested.
We're observing you break the law.
- What did you write? - "Bradshaw 12.
" - "Stud.
" - Okay.
- Terry.
- So, Terry's on the Wall.
- I'm on the Wall forever.
- Watch this.
[GROOVY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Oh, no.
- Oh - Shatner.
That is just Why would you write over Terry's name? This is how you show the alpha male.
You tag over the tag.
A living icon.
People will kill for less.
- "Hasselhoff rules.
" - [LAUGHS.]
You know, you're very good at this.
- Have you done this before? - Yes.
Every city has a guy like him.
I feel like such a rebel.
You're over everything, Henry.
Well, this is not you.
But it's all these other important people.
- How about that? - That looks good.
Even though we're out of our comfort zone, a little spray paint never hurt anybody.
And, listen, we all know this, that being rebellious makes us feel young.
I'm waiting for a siren.
Na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na - Ah! - The bear! - Hi.
- Hello there.
It's the sign of Berlin, right? When you come to Berlin, you get a photo with a bear.
That's their thing.
Bear stuff, you know? Bears.
So, we gotta get Terry Bradshaw in that costume.
Make a little Terr bear.
Hey, do you mind if we borrow this costume? - Money? - Yeah, we'll give you money.
Hey, who wants to wear the bear costume? - Not it.
- Not it.
- George - Not it.
- Nah, I'm too big.
- I'm not wearing it.
I've got a disease.
I'm not getting in it.
- You don't have a disease.
- I do.
I have a bad disease.
When I see bears, I think of Chicago Bears, you know? I get a game face.
So, wait a minute.
Who's going in the bear suit? Hey.
How you doing? - This is weird.
- But, I did it, right? Look at how happy he is.
- He's never been happier.
- Right.
Ladies, did you give him your euros? Ahh! Look, they have no idea that's Terry Bradshaw in there.
Feel like someone's gonna pet me or something.
Oh, hey! [LAUGHTER.]
That's what you do in the off-season! Whoo! As far as the sky conditions, we've got some clouds.
But the good news is it's keeping the heat down.
God, that looks like Al Roker.
What is Al doing here in Berlin? Of all people, there's Al Roker.
It's a very "gud" thing Excuse me, are you aware that it's gonna rain? Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Bill.
I had no idea.
Look like it's gonna rain, Al! Oh, Henry! - You stole my pants.
- I stole your pants.
I'd give them back if I were you.
Wow! It's a bear.
- Guess who's in there.
- I don't know.
He's fading back to throw the ball.
Oh, of course it's Mr.
Bradshaw.
Oh! Wha what [LAUGHS.]
- Take your head off.
- Wow.
Ta-da! Give me a hug, Al.
On second thought, put that back on.
[LAUGHS.]
Al Roker.
I thought he was taller.
[LAUGHS.]
Were you in the middle of doing a, uh I was doing the weather from Berlin.
You know, Terry is also a weatherman.
- Yep.
- Are you really? Every morning I watch you, especially when you say, "And here's what's going on in your part of the world.
" - Neck of the woods.
- Neck of the woods.
I knew that.
I didn't want to say it woo I'm a bear.
I don't like neck of the woods.
What happens in your neck of the woods? Neck of the woods? Hello, everybody.
This is Terry Bradshaw here in Sherman, Texas.
Now, y'all got a little wind blowing in, and be careful of all the food wrappers blowing.
They will stick to your windshield, and you might hit somebody.
Are you wearing pants under that? - Hey, that's not funny.
- Sorry.
That is not funny right there.
And you know funny, too.
That wasn't funny.
- I know funny.
- Now, Al - Yes, sir? - I want to present to you, and you have to put this on.
Oh, of course.
- This is a bear's head.
- Wow.
- All right.
- There you go.
They won't notice.
There, the hat.
There it is! I tell you, you do look better.
And here's what's happening BOTH: In your neck of the woods.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Anybody know where we're going? Man, it's cool here.
Yeah, I don't know where we're going, but I have got to pee.
- This is a bar.
- "Klos.
" K-L-O-S.
It says toilet on it.
You take a squeegee and I'll get a beer.
- Oh! - Oh! What? - Oh! - What? It [CHUCKLES.]
- [SLOW ACCORDION MUSIC.]
- Wow.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
- - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- Come and sit down, fellas.
This is great.
[WOMAN SCREAMING.]
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Is this weird or what? - Look at this place.
This is the best place I've ever been.
This place is called Das Klo.
Turns out that the interpretation in English is The Toilet.
You got a bedpan over your head.
It's devoted to the dead and the dying.
[SEAT WHIRS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[BABY GIGGLING.]
Oh, man.
Ooh, what the? - Uh-oh.
- Bye, George.
What's going on here? Whoa Guys, let's go somewhere where it's safer to sit.
- Yeah.
- I'm all for that.
- Let's go over here.
- Dinner's on me, guys.
I'm flush with cash.
[CACKLES.]
What else? What does anybody else want to see here? I don't know nothing about Berlin.
Well, Berlin is a very sophisticated city.
You say that about every city.
- No, but this is a - Whoa.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
- This place is the best.
- Finding your roots is the most important thing for you.
Right.
That's right.
Finding my oh! [RUMBLING.]
God dang.
[BLEEP.]
.
- Hello.
Oh, hello.
- Finding your senses.
That startled me.
Henry, are we really gonna see some evidence that your family were here? It would be amazing.
My mother, my mother's parents lived here.
Wouldn't that be something if we could see where they're It would mean so much for me to see Henry's family, where they started.
I have all these pictures of my grandparents, of my great grandparents, aunts and uncles, my parents.
So, the story was that my father was able to get a six-week work visa to come to New York City, but Uncle Helmut was having a white dinner jacket made and it was going to be ready the next day.
So, instead of going with my dad and my mom and leaving Berlin, he stayed an extra day, and that night was taken by the Nazis.
I would love to just see the street somebody walked down - and that I can walk down.
- Yeah.
This is a great city for Henry to visit, because this is where his roots started from.
This is where it all began for him, the story of his family.
That's why this trip is important.
Right.
Another adventure in another country.
- Ah! - I love you guys.
Oh, my God.
Ah, now it's dusty.
I'm not doing this.
- It got dust in my brew.
- I can't drink it now.
I gotta go clean my britches out.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
- [PATRIOTIC MUSIC.]
- The Waltz is huge in Germany.
In fact, it was invented here.
I assume that's what Henry's parents were, like, doing for fun, 'cause that's what everyone was doing.
So, I set this up.
- Hello, guys.
Jeff.
- How are you? Welcome to the Waltzerningestrict.
My name is Geop.
This is my colleague Elisia.
- Nice.
- And we are both professional dance instructors.
You've come to a place where you will dance a waltz today.
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - - This is gonna be a competition.
I am gonna pick a winner at the end.
- Grab a partner.
- Oh, dibs on the woman.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Hello there.
- Hello.
This is a friendly competition.
That doesn't mean I'm not gonna call dibs on the hot dance instructor.
I ain't gonna win it with Terry Bradshaw's hillbilly feet.
Good, you have got your partner.
Yeah.
- So, I want you to practice.
- Put her there, partner.
Hello there.
I think she's into me.
Hey, that creep you were dancing with earlier, is that your boyfriend or something? - Yes.
- Oh Never mind.
Three with the right, forward.
End with the left, back.
One, two, three, and we're here.
Hey.
Out of here.
Eat rocks, you old punks.
They're trying to get a competitive edge.
Can I tempt you to stand a little closer to each other? Yes.
Yes.
Hey, I'm paired with the king of fancy footwork.
BOTH: [MELODIC MUMBLING.]
Uh-oh, you messed up that time.
I know.
You know what it's like? It's like dancing with Mount Everest.
We have to concentrate, 'cause I know that Terry is so competitive to a pulp.
- Bill, he's worse.
- Yeah.
So, they're working hard.
[RELAXING BRASS MUSIC.]
This is symbolic.
Terry and I don't need any waltz instruction.
We'd be better off going outside and getting some air and sharing a cigar.
Now, how are we gonna light it? - Excusez-moi.
- What are you doing? Where are you going? Where are you going? Are you lighting it? - Bill! - What? I'm trying to light my cigar.
Don't let anybody look.
We're in an alleyway.
- Will you quit? - Pass me the ball.
Now you know what it's like to be a center.
All those years you had no idea what was going on.
The guy was loving it! - Look.
- Success! - Yes! Go get down in there.
- No, no, no.
I'll do it from here.
- Get close.
Get close.
- Okay [MUFFLED.]
I g - Pull the match down.
- I am! Suck! Suck! [MUFFLED.]
That was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My God, you're beautiful.
That was, uh actually that was a pretty good bonding moment for both of us.
[CHUCKLES.]
The next problem that needs solving is who's gonna lead? Who's the man and who's the woman? It would seem likely that you would be the man, 'cause you're bigger and taller - Well - But that's not the case.
- We're not gonna lose.
- Come on.
Let's go and see what we can do.
Let's go.
Let's go.
They are in for a shock.
Well, guys, you have your practice, and now it's time for the competition.
I will be the judge.
We'll start with Henry and George.
[CLAPPING.]
Hands up.
[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
They love us.
If there was an audience, they would be booing.
We're gonna get a standing ovation.
George, the right foot.
- George, the right foot.
- [CACKLES.]
[CLAPPING.]
Bravo! Bravo! Next couple, please.
Jeff and Elisia.
You got it.
I love a friendly competition Let's impress these old geezers.
And I also love winning friendly competitions.
[CACKLES.]
You got no movement.
Who's the girl here? Jeff, don't be more feminine than her, okay? - Shut up, Terry.
- You look like cardboard.
- Yes.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, yeah! - Too soon.
Too soon.
- [CACKLES.]
- Thank you.
- Beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Our last couple.
Bill and Terry, please.
I feel a little shy about asking you to dance.
I've admired you for a long time.
Putting my arm around Terry is like putting my arm around one of those statues of a horse and a rider.
Immoveable, but muscular.
Spin me.
Spin me again, again, and again.
There.
My love.
Hey, we hate you guys over here.
- No, no.
Here you go.
- Oh, boy.
- Top that.
- Now I've got the results.
I've saw each couple of you dancing, and there's clearly one winner.
If we don't win I think we did really good.
If you dance with someone, you know, 5'3 ", 5'4", and you're 6'3" and chiseled like an Adonis, I'm a shoo-in here, you understand? - Last place - Yeah.
- I know that's right.
- Will be, I'm sorry, Bill and Terry.
- What? - The last place.
You've lost your ever-loving mind! You teach this? - You are a sore loser.
- Yep.
The fix is in.
The game is rigged.
Terry and I waltzed beautifully together.
There's no way that they are better.
Let's have a dance-off.
Well, I can't believe it, either.
And the winner.
For me, the winner is - Jeff and Elisia.
- Yeah, champions! What? - Well done.
- I don't know about this.
Jeff had no movement.
Jeff looked like a frigging 2-by-4 up there.
[MUMBLES MELODICALLY, DERISIVELY.]
You looked like you had a thong on.
I gotta be honest here.
I thought Bill and I knocked it out of the park.
We were graceful.
We were in tune to one another.
- We were robbed.
- Didn't you say that - in your big heavyweight fight? - [GROWLS.]
The prize today are gonna be two priceless Cuban cigars.
All right.
- Priceless, huh? - Priceless.
That is definitely not priceless.
I know who did this.
Yep.
Smells like hillbilly.
I can't believe you guys did this.
- You guys stink.
- [LAUGHING.]
Congratulations.
[COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
I completely ripped my arm.
In one activity, I've counted 19 stitches.
[CACKLES.]
Jeffrey, where is your hand? - It's right here.
- No, your other hand.
Don't worry about it.
- Bahh - Moo - Bahh - Moo! All right.
The audience is somewhat unwilling.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Bill? - Mm? Okay.
Now, listen, I Listen, I better What? Did you sleep in your jacket? Well, I I know, I know.
- I was, uh - What? I have some bad news from home.
There's been a death in the family.
It's my koi.
The fish.
The koi.
The death in the family are your fish? - Yeah.
- How many fish? Could be as many as 30.
- How long have you had them? - 15, 20 years.
- [SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
- - - - [GONG RESOUNDS.]
- You know, koi, they come up and they go [SMOOCHES.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They do little kissing sounds, and you feed them.
When you feed them, yeah.
They're beautiful.
- Do they know you? - They don't say my name.
- Or did they know you? - Yeah, but they would react.
They're loving.
The fish are loving.
- Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
- Are you gonna bury them? - What are you laughing at? - Are you gonna bury No, seriously.
What are you laughing at? Are gonna bury them at sea? [LAUGHING.]
Why are you laughing? First of all, they're freshwater fish, okay? They they The salt would kill them.
And they're already dead.
My koi died, and my friends laughed.
Imagine laughing at the death of a member of your family.
It's unspeakable.
- Look at me.
- Let's be nice.
- Look at me.
Am I laughing? - No, not really.
- Thank you.
- He never did.
Okay.
I'm very sorry, it just - You're laughing now.
- No, I got hay fever in here.
Bill, we are taking this seriously, okay? All right.
The guys are going to the waterpark today, the waterpark, where my koi could have swum.
No.
I'm not going there.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Oh, look at this.
This is gonna be awesome! I actually have family right here in Berlin.
I don't get to see my cousins that often, but we're here today.
We're gonna meet of all places where kids hang out, a water park.
We're gonna have a mini Foreman family reunion.
[LAUGHS.]
- - I gave my family this address.
I didn't know where it would be.
And I'm expecting them to be here.
How long have they been here in Germany? They were born here.
Can you believe that? [SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hey! There's my girl.
- Yeah! - - - Breaking news: George's cousins are hot.
I'm George's friend.
[TENSE TONE.]
I'm serious, Jeff.
You better keep your paws off them, or you gonna get a paw from me.
- So, you live in Berlin? - Yeah.
What's your exact address? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
- [LAUGHS.]
Just trying to get to know your family.
Yeah.
I got my eye on you, Jeff.
All right.
I'm a little nervous.
Why? - Heights get me.
- Oh, you're gonna love this.
I gotta tell you, this is a little high.
Who said this wasn't high? This is a little high, man.
- This is high.
- Hoo boy.
That's ah.
Come on.
Everybody knows I don't like heights, and now I've got the waterslide thing.
Not not something I'm real happy about right now.
Ooh, I don't know about this.
Hey, seriously, fellas.
Not going over the edge, right? Man, that's scary.
Are you nervous? No, man.
It's gonna be great.
You're gonna love it.
Help! I may not come back from this alive.
George, get inside like we are.
- Yeah! - Whoo! [OUTASIGHT'S "LIFE OF THE PARTY".]
Everybody singing along [SCREAMING.]
Soon as I walk in the room There go the life of the party There go the life of the party What happened to Henry? Whoo! There go the life of the party Soon as I walk in the room [LAUGHTER.]
Henry! Your phone.
Phone! Waterparks are fun.
I got a little bumped up.
[AUDIO MODULATES.]
How can you get bumped up coming down a chute of water? But I managed to.
That was insane.
That was scary.
I completely ripped my arm.
Terry rips his leg.
I've counted 19 stitches.
[LAUGHTER.]
You know, this was a bad idea.
You're a horrible wingman.
These ladies don't even like me no more.
Well, you can't take 250 pounds of pure dynamite, go sliding down something.
I came down that thing doing 70 miles an hour.
Where you getting all these facts? I lost, like, a pint of blood.
- A pint? - Yeah, a pint.
It hurt.
[MYSTICAL SYNTH MUSIC.]
It is amazing that we're here in Berlin.
I wonder what it will be like to actually see if I can find where my parents lived in this city.
I've never been here before.
I want to find a connection.
I'm just not sure where to start.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come in.
[LAUGHS.]
- Can't sleep.
- What are you wearing? - Huh? - What is this? - It's my kimono thing.
- [LAUGHS.]
I got where I like them.
Kind of free-balling.
Feels good.
You look like the geisha of my nightmares.
Could you take some of that free ball and close your legs? Oh.
There is a glare coming from between your legs that is blinding me.
What are you saying? That I shave? I'm not sure, 'cause I can't see here.
- I need sunglasses.
- [CACKLES.]
- Terry? - Hm? Don't take this the wrong way.
This is a helpful hint from a friend.
- Yes.
- Cross your [BLEEP.]
legs.
[CACKLES.]
We see a lot of Terry Bradshaw.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Sleep tight.
- Good night, girls.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
- - All right, watch this.
This is really funny.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It feels good to spoon Henry.
It's how I've always imagined it.
Yes, I've always imagined spooning Henry Winkler.
Wait.
Jeffrey, where is your hand? It's right here.
- No, your other hand.
- Don't worry about it.
Uh could you just thank you.
At first, I wasn't so sure about sharing a room with Jeff, let alone a bed.
Now, I'm positive.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
So, we're on our way to see Germany's oldest singing group called the Comedian Harmonists, at Germany's oldest dance hall, the Ballhaus.
Here we go.
[PLAYFUL PIANO MUSIC.]
ALL: Sad times, bad times You are now a thing of the past [SCATTING.]
Happy days are here again The skies above are clear - So let's sing a song of cheer again - - Happy days are here again - Happy days are here again [SCATTING.]
ALL: Yeah! [ALL CHEER.]
All right! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! - Yeah! Hey! - Hey, hey, hey, hey! Ah, I like that.
Mr.
Winkler, sir.
Would you like to join us for a song? Oh, no.
Please, sir.
It would be an honor.
Happy day.
Happy day.
- Henry Winkler, hey, hey, hey! - Happy day.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Happy day! - Yeah, Henry! ALL: Flowers aplenty far more than 20 The tulips, daffodils, and roses I'm called up on stage, and then they ask me to sing this song.
ALL: That's growing right before our noses I have no idea what they're talking about, but as they're singing it, I start to remember that I heard my parents sing this when I was younger.
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
ALL: Hollari, hollari, hollaro [ALL SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
I take my little cactus out and prick, prick, prick Yeah! Cactus upon the patio Hollari, hollari, hollaro Hollari, hollari, hollaro Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Bravo! Bravo! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Bravo! - Encore, encore! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Bravo, bravo! Let's hear it! Let's hear it for Henry Winkler.
Henry Winkler.
Ha! You son of a gun, you.
Sit down! I have no idea what he's gonna do.
- This is gonna be a disaster.
- All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, the fun is just beginning.
We'd like to bring onstage now one of the world's most famous human beings.
David Hasselhoff, come on out! Hasselhoff? What? I've been looking for freedom - Whoa! - I've been looking so long The Hoff is here.
We're in the same room.
This is incredible.
I've been looking for freedom I've been looking so long Jeff's a huge David Hasselhoff fan.
I don't know that I've ever seen anybody that excited about seeing David Hasselhoff since well, never.
I've been looking for freedom Freedom, yeah! Still it can't be found Can't be found [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Danke schoen! - Thank you! - Yeah! Yeah! - Whoo! - That's how you do it! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- That was quite a night.
- You're not kidding.
- It was incredible.
- Wasn't it something? Second coolest guy, David Hasselhoff.
- First coolest guy - All right.
- Pops.
Making it happen.
- That's my name.
But for you, it was worth it, for you.
To see you happy, okay? [CYMBAL CRASHES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
- Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.
No way.
- Wow.
Thank you.
- Huh? Thank you.
- Fish died.
- [LAUGHS.]
What are you laughing at? Because wow, look at the time.
Son of a bitch.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - Henry came to Berlin looking for his roots, and after hearing him talk about his uncle, I decided to contact his kids and we decided to set up a really special thing for Henry, so he can walk down the same streets as his family did and give him this very special surprise.
- Oh, my God.
- Wow Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.
- No way.
Oh Helmut Theodor Winkler.
That was my uncle I never met.
He was born in 1909.
He left for Holland.
Guys, come quick.
Come quick.
You're not gonna believe this.
Helmut Theodor Winkler is my father's brother I never met, and he was deported in 1942 to Auschwitz - Oh, no.
- And he died the 31st of January - This is your uncle? - Yeah, at Auschwitz.
- Your father's brother? - Yeah.
My father's brother.
I never met him.
I only heard about him.
But look.
Look.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's from my children.
- You want me to read it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me read it for you.
"Dear Daddy, the touchstone honors your uncle, Helmut.
"He lived and worked here until perishing in the Holocaust.
"Your father Harry also worked here and lived next door, "but a different path led him to New York City "where he started our family.
"Even though the Winkler history "in Berlin is heartbreaking, "we thought it was important for you "to connect with the past "through this hopefully fun adventure, and connect you did" - Yeah.
- "No other landmark represents "Berlin like The Wall.
"Leaving your mark symbolized "that the Winkler family's still thinking and as a matter of fact, we're back in town" - Yeah.
- "At the Brandenburg Gate, "another representation of separation and intolerance.
"You literally connected with a stranger "showing that love conquers all and that Berliners have a strange affinity for bears" - For bears.
- "You just shared the stage "with the Comedian Harmonists, a new iteration of a group "that has been entertaining Germans for decades.
"In fact, your parents and grandparents adored them.
"They have touched generations with their talent as you have with yours.
" "We know that you have a lot of mixed feelings "about your upbringing, "and your parents were harsh, but hopefully being here, "seeing, touching, "and feeling pieces of their lives "can give you a clearer perspective of who they were.
"We're aware that when it comes to them, "you've built a wall around your heart.
"Well, maybe this trip can open the door "to tearing it down in the Berlin tradition.
" - "Tearing down that wall" - Yeah.
- "In true Berlin tradition.
" - Yeah.
"We love you, daddy.
Jed, Zoe, and Max.
" - How you doing, bub? - Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Wow.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- How beautiful is that, huh? - You all helped me, huh? You all helped me.
I don't think Henry really knew what we were looking for, but to be there, to find the touchstone, and that his kids had written this incredible letter describing and defining the moment was such an emotional event and one I'll never forget the rest of my life.
Thank your kids.
The kids, what a job they did.
- What a turn of love - Oh, my gosh.
From what you felt was lack of love to overwhelming love.
Really.
Oh, my God.
It comes through my children and through my friends.
So, you go on a quest.
You don't know what you're gonna find, if you're gonna find anything.
You don't know how detailed it's gonna be.
You don't know how powerful it is gonna be.
And I am grateful that I was able to really get a view that I've never had before of my history before I ever came on this earth.
So, I looked for my family with my friends, who became family.
Pretty great.
- Okay.
- Where are we going next? - Wow.
- Uh, let's go have a beer.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
- I won't have a beer, but I'll have a friend.
[LAUGHTER.]
No, you won't have a beer.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
Birthplace of Western civilization and a world of unparalleled culture and sophistication.
[BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO.
5".]
[GLASS SHATTERS, MUSIC STOPS.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! - All right.
NARRATOR: They're back.
Oh, no! Oh [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! NARRATOR: Four living legends - William Shatner.
- Hey.
NARRATOR: Saddle up again.
Give my best to my family! NARRATOR: For a European adventure they'll never forget.
- Whoo! - Oh, no! NARRATOR: Starring TV superstar You I can't take anywhere.
NARRATOR: Henry Winkler [MELODIC MUMBLING.]
NARRATOR: Cultural icon - Oh, my God.
NARRATOR: William Shatner.
NFL Hall of Famer Anybody here know how to AI a goat? NARRATOR: Terry Bradshaw.
What is wrong with you? NARRATOR: Former heavyweight champion - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa NARRATOR: George Foreman.
Oh.
NARRATOR: And - Ahh! NARRATOR: Jeff Dye as the sidekick.
Ahh! [BLEEP.]
, Jeffrey.
NARRATOR: Tonight - Yodel-lay-hee-hoo! NARRATOR: Berlin.
How are we gonna get in that little car? All right.
Go.
Now I know how toothpaste feels.
- It's illegal.
- What is? - Spray-painting.
- What are you doing? - You guys.
- Hasselhoff rules.
David Hasselhoff, come on out! I've been looking for freedom Are you wearing pants under that? Hey, that's not funny.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Sorry.
- Uncle George! - Hey! - I'm George's friend.
NARRATOR: Just when you thought it was safe to go back on vacation You've lost your ever-loving mind.
- Yep.
NARRATOR: Better late Give me a hug, Al.
NARRATOR: Than never.
Another adventure in another country.
Whoa! This place is the best.
I gotta go clean my britches out.
[LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
Twist and shout Come on and let it out - I'm excited to see Berlin.
- What are we doing in Berlin? One of the reasons that we are here in Germany is because my parents escaped from Nazi Germany in 1939.
- But you speak German.
- Well, I speak German, 'cause they spoke to me in German in my house.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
- [LIVELY POP MUSIC.]
- So, are we gonna discover your roots? Well, I don't know.
That is an interesting question.
How do you say "roots" in German? - "Roots.
" - "Oots.
" I've never actually been in Berlin, so this is really an adventure of a lifetime.
Time to burn some rubber.
[NENA'S "99 LUFTBALLONS".]
- - That's amazing.
Wow.
- - - There's something for you.
- Wow.
- - - Oh, my God.
- Yep.
- - - Wow! - Going to town.
Hey, we're here.
The Brandenburg Gate is where major things happened.
Whatever that means.
Here we are at the Brandenburg Gate.
[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC.]
Guys, let's take a picture right in the middle together.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Man.
All of this history.
Remember what Kennedy said? [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
What? Ich bin ein Berliner.
Ich bin ein Berliner.
I am a Berliner.
Oh, really? - That's what he said? - Yeah.
All right.
Tell me all of the things about this.
Armies would march through, and it became a symbol of victory, and the Germans used it as victory.
The Allies marched back and forth under it.
- Napoléon.
- Napoléon.
- Wait, so who made it? - Frederick the Second.
What, was it a victory of Prussia over Prussia? Prussia was part of Germany.
- Part of Germany at the time? - Yeah.
Wait, so it was made "under Prussia?" [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
I don't really wanna be next to this guy.
That statue was taken by Napoléon back to France.
Then when Napoléon was defeated, it was taken back to Germany.
There's old Bill over there.
"Oh, well, everybody, this was built in, uh, 1675, and, uh" What else do we know about the gate? Oh, well, that's about it.
Don't matter what they say 'Cause we be killing it killing it killing it All the way Oh! [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
What part of town is this? What hotel are we going to? Actually, here it is.
- What is this place? - Look, they spelled it wrong.
- The H is missing.
- Hostel.
- Yeah, and it's by Communists.
- Oh.
- [LIVELY TECHNO MUSIC.]
- - - What exactly about us says youth hostel? - Oh, yeah.
- [WHISTLES.]
- Wow.
- Are you kidding? - Wow.
- Ah Where are we, bub? You mean when are we.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Look at all this old junk.
- I'm Henry.
- Hi.
- This is George.
- Brad Pitt.
- Hello.
- Jeff.
- My name is Daniel.
Hello.
- Bill is coming behind us.
- He's out of breath.
Fat people get out of breath faster than most people.
We've stepped into Soviet history here.
Very interesting.
I like the decor.
Y'all put a lot of thought into this.
- Everything is original? - Yes.
This is original GDR Design hotel.
The German Democratic Republic.
GDR.
Otherwise East Germany, Communist.
Why, if we're successful capitalists, would we stay in a Communist hotel? - I thought it'd be fun, man.
- Yeah.
I've always heard about the Communist party.
- What? - [CHUCKLES.]
Communist party.
Oh, you're just dumber than a box of rocks, aren't you? Did you grow up in East Germany or in West Germany? - In East Germany.
- You did? - Yeah.
- Oh.
When David Hasselhoff took the Wall down, - did you get to see it? - [LAUGHS.]
- Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
- Yeah? I've been looking for freedom - You were there.
- Oh! [LAUGHS.]
- I've been looking for freedom - - Since I left my hometown - - [CASH REGISTER DINGS.]
- A lot of people don't know this, but I'm a huge David Hasselhoff fan.
I like him mostly 'cause he had a robot car, and I've always wanted a robot car.
So, sort of jealous.
And I like that he lived in a time when everyone had a mustache, but he held out.
You know, the Wall is 96 miles long.
Why didn't he just go to the end of the wall and go around the side and go on the other side? - Uh, what? - [MUMBLES.]
Huh? [LAUGHTER.]
- [LIGHT, PLAYFUL MUSIC.]
- - - - So, we need five five rooms.
- - [INHALES SHARPLY.]
Now? - Yeah.
- We don't have.
- You only have four rooms? - Yes.
- So, that means two of us - have to stay together.
- Oh, boy.
And no elevator.
What? Do we have air conditioning? - No air conditioning.
- What? - Cable television? - Oh, no.
- We have a nice garden.
- Garden? - You have a gym? - [LAUGHS.]
No.
- You have a phone? - Yeah, this is the phone.
- One phone? - Yes, when you talk to Moscow.
All right.
To the rooms, boys.
Here we go.
This is it.
This is the only one left.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna sleep with my clothes on, if you don't mind.
- I don't mind.
- No.
- That actually is preferable.
- Yeah.
I'm sharing a bed with Jeff.
[SOFT, BRIGHT MUSIC.]
There are some books here.
- Books? - Yeah.
I'll just build the Berlin Wall.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's about all books are useful for.
There you go.
Now I'm proud to be able to tell all of my friends and family that I slept with The Fonz.
Hey, you wanna go out and explore? Yes.
- Should we get the other guys? - Yeah.
Well, it's time to get out and see Berlin.
- All right.
- Not only did I get us booked at a Communist-themed hostel This place is great, huh? But this place comes with a Trabi car.
Not sure what that is.
- That it? - That says Trabi car.
- Are you serious? - How great is this? - [GROOVY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
- How are we gonna get in that little car? Well, you get in the trunk.
- - This could be the worst car ever made.
Terry, you gotta get in back.
In the back? I got long legs, you short thing.
- Let's do it.
- Put me in the trunk.
It's like a clown car.
I'm gonna sit in the middle.
Where'd you get this piece of junk? Come on, Georgie.
Don't worry about me.
- Big George is in.
- Oh, my God.
Now I know how toothpaste feels.
Oh, my God.
I can't breathe.
- Okay.
- All right.
Go! - [ENGINE GRINDS.]
- Ah, dang.
- Put it in neutral.
- Well, I don't have - Don't press back.
- Oh, my God.
- I got a leg cramp, guys.
- Come on.
Come on.
[ENGINE IGNITES, REVS.]
- All right.
- That a boy.
Give her some gas.
- Oh, no! - No! [COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
Who wants to wear the bear costume? - Not it.
- Not it.
Look at how happy he is.
He's never been happier.
- There is a glare coming - from between your legs that is blinding me.
[CACKLES.]
I'm not attractive.
I need a nose job.
It's cute and it's pert.
- You think it's really cute? - It really is.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[FOGHORN BLARES.]
- This is great.
- Oh, no.
We're off to the Wall.
ALL: Hey! - We're gonna get arrested.
- I hope so.
It's the only way we're gonna live.
Oh, my God.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
- Where are we going? - How far is the Wall? - The Wall? - Oh, there it is.
- - - [PEOPLE YELLING IN GERMAN.]
- - [CASH REGISTER DINGING.]
- - I think I'm shorter.
- Get out.
- [SPEAKS GERMAN.]
- My bad.
It was the emergency brake.
Everyone okay? - That was some stop.
- There we go, yeah.
I wanted to be close with these guys, but I didn't want to be this close.
[GRUNTING LOUDLY.]
I am never going back in this car again.
How are you gonna get home? Like a clown car.
In Berlin, there's graffiti everywhere.
It is 100% illegal to spray paint the Berlin Wall, but a bunch of other people did it.
[SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
- - Oh, no, I - It's illegal.
- What is? Spray painting.
Everyone else is doing it.
Look.
- You can't do it.
- I'll do it.
- How do I do it? - It's illegal.
Don't spray that.
Don't do that.
I'm not sure about this.
It's an historic and important landmark.
I haven't broken a law like this maybe in my life.
Look what Terry's doing.
[SPRAY CAN HISSING.]
- [CACKLES.]
- What are you doing? - You guys.
- Ha! This is "go to jail" illegal.
It is not just highly illegal, you could be arrested.
We're observing you break the law.
- What did you write? - "Bradshaw 12.
" - "Stud.
" - Okay.
- Terry.
- So, Terry's on the Wall.
- I'm on the Wall forever.
- Watch this.
[GROOVY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Oh, no.
- Oh - Shatner.
That is just Why would you write over Terry's name? This is how you show the alpha male.
You tag over the tag.
A living icon.
People will kill for less.
- "Hasselhoff rules.
" - [LAUGHS.]
You know, you're very good at this.
- Have you done this before? - Yes.
Every city has a guy like him.
I feel like such a rebel.
You're over everything, Henry.
Well, this is not you.
But it's all these other important people.
- How about that? - That looks good.
Even though we're out of our comfort zone, a little spray paint never hurt anybody.
And, listen, we all know this, that being rebellious makes us feel young.
I'm waiting for a siren.
Na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na - Ah! - The bear! - Hi.
- Hello there.
It's the sign of Berlin, right? When you come to Berlin, you get a photo with a bear.
That's their thing.
Bear stuff, you know? Bears.
So, we gotta get Terry Bradshaw in that costume.
Make a little Terr bear.
Hey, do you mind if we borrow this costume? - Money? - Yeah, we'll give you money.
Hey, who wants to wear the bear costume? - Not it.
- Not it.
- George - Not it.
- Nah, I'm too big.
- I'm not wearing it.
I've got a disease.
I'm not getting in it.
- You don't have a disease.
- I do.
I have a bad disease.
When I see bears, I think of Chicago Bears, you know? I get a game face.
So, wait a minute.
Who's going in the bear suit? Hey.
How you doing? - This is weird.
- But, I did it, right? Look at how happy he is.
- He's never been happier.
- Right.
Ladies, did you give him your euros? Ahh! Look, they have no idea that's Terry Bradshaw in there.
Feel like someone's gonna pet me or something.
Oh, hey! [LAUGHTER.]
That's what you do in the off-season! Whoo! As far as the sky conditions, we've got some clouds.
But the good news is it's keeping the heat down.
God, that looks like Al Roker.
What is Al doing here in Berlin? Of all people, there's Al Roker.
It's a very "gud" thing Excuse me, are you aware that it's gonna rain? Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Bill.
I had no idea.
Look like it's gonna rain, Al! Oh, Henry! - You stole my pants.
- I stole your pants.
I'd give them back if I were you.
Wow! It's a bear.
- Guess who's in there.
- I don't know.
He's fading back to throw the ball.
Oh, of course it's Mr.
Bradshaw.
Oh! Wha what [LAUGHS.]
- Take your head off.
- Wow.
Ta-da! Give me a hug, Al.
On second thought, put that back on.
[LAUGHS.]
Al Roker.
I thought he was taller.
[LAUGHS.]
Were you in the middle of doing a, uh I was doing the weather from Berlin.
You know, Terry is also a weatherman.
- Yep.
- Are you really? Every morning I watch you, especially when you say, "And here's what's going on in your part of the world.
" - Neck of the woods.
- Neck of the woods.
I knew that.
I didn't want to say it woo I'm a bear.
I don't like neck of the woods.
What happens in your neck of the woods? Neck of the woods? Hello, everybody.
This is Terry Bradshaw here in Sherman, Texas.
Now, y'all got a little wind blowing in, and be careful of all the food wrappers blowing.
They will stick to your windshield, and you might hit somebody.
Are you wearing pants under that? - Hey, that's not funny.
- Sorry.
That is not funny right there.
And you know funny, too.
That wasn't funny.
- I know funny.
- Now, Al - Yes, sir? - I want to present to you, and you have to put this on.
Oh, of course.
- This is a bear's head.
- Wow.
- All right.
- There you go.
They won't notice.
There, the hat.
There it is! I tell you, you do look better.
And here's what's happening BOTH: In your neck of the woods.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Anybody know where we're going? Man, it's cool here.
Yeah, I don't know where we're going, but I have got to pee.
- This is a bar.
- "Klos.
" K-L-O-S.
It says toilet on it.
You take a squeegee and I'll get a beer.
- Oh! - Oh! What? - Oh! - What? It [CHUCKLES.]
- [SLOW ACCORDION MUSIC.]
- Wow.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
- - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- Come and sit down, fellas.
This is great.
[WOMAN SCREAMING.]
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Is this weird or what? - Look at this place.
This is the best place I've ever been.
This place is called Das Klo.
Turns out that the interpretation in English is The Toilet.
You got a bedpan over your head.
It's devoted to the dead and the dying.
[SEAT WHIRS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[BABY GIGGLING.]
Oh, man.
Ooh, what the? - Uh-oh.
- Bye, George.
What's going on here? Whoa Guys, let's go somewhere where it's safer to sit.
- Yeah.
- I'm all for that.
- Let's go over here.
- Dinner's on me, guys.
I'm flush with cash.
[CACKLES.]
What else? What does anybody else want to see here? I don't know nothing about Berlin.
Well, Berlin is a very sophisticated city.
You say that about every city.
- No, but this is a - Whoa.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
- This place is the best.
- Finding your roots is the most important thing for you.
Right.
That's right.
Finding my oh! [RUMBLING.]
God dang.
[BLEEP.]
.
- Hello.
Oh, hello.
- Finding your senses.
That startled me.
Henry, are we really gonna see some evidence that your family were here? It would be amazing.
My mother, my mother's parents lived here.
Wouldn't that be something if we could see where they're It would mean so much for me to see Henry's family, where they started.
I have all these pictures of my grandparents, of my great grandparents, aunts and uncles, my parents.
So, the story was that my father was able to get a six-week work visa to come to New York City, but Uncle Helmut was having a white dinner jacket made and it was going to be ready the next day.
So, instead of going with my dad and my mom and leaving Berlin, he stayed an extra day, and that night was taken by the Nazis.
I would love to just see the street somebody walked down - and that I can walk down.
- Yeah.
This is a great city for Henry to visit, because this is where his roots started from.
This is where it all began for him, the story of his family.
That's why this trip is important.
Right.
Another adventure in another country.
- Ah! - I love you guys.
Oh, my God.
Ah, now it's dusty.
I'm not doing this.
- It got dust in my brew.
- I can't drink it now.
I gotta go clean my britches out.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
- [PATRIOTIC MUSIC.]
- The Waltz is huge in Germany.
In fact, it was invented here.
I assume that's what Henry's parents were, like, doing for fun, 'cause that's what everyone was doing.
So, I set this up.
- Hello, guys.
Jeff.
- How are you? Welcome to the Waltzerningestrict.
My name is Geop.
This is my colleague Elisia.
- Nice.
- And we are both professional dance instructors.
You've come to a place where you will dance a waltz today.
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - - This is gonna be a competition.
I am gonna pick a winner at the end.
- Grab a partner.
- Oh, dibs on the woman.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Hello there.
- Hello.
This is a friendly competition.
That doesn't mean I'm not gonna call dibs on the hot dance instructor.
I ain't gonna win it with Terry Bradshaw's hillbilly feet.
Good, you have got your partner.
Yeah.
- So, I want you to practice.
- Put her there, partner.
Hello there.
I think she's into me.
Hey, that creep you were dancing with earlier, is that your boyfriend or something? - Yes.
- Oh Never mind.
Three with the right, forward.
End with the left, back.
One, two, three, and we're here.
Hey.
Out of here.
Eat rocks, you old punks.
They're trying to get a competitive edge.
Can I tempt you to stand a little closer to each other? Yes.
Yes.
Hey, I'm paired with the king of fancy footwork.
BOTH: [MELODIC MUMBLING.]
Uh-oh, you messed up that time.
I know.
You know what it's like? It's like dancing with Mount Everest.
We have to concentrate, 'cause I know that Terry is so competitive to a pulp.
- Bill, he's worse.
- Yeah.
So, they're working hard.
[RELAXING BRASS MUSIC.]
This is symbolic.
Terry and I don't need any waltz instruction.
We'd be better off going outside and getting some air and sharing a cigar.
Now, how are we gonna light it? - Excusez-moi.
- What are you doing? Where are you going? Where are you going? Are you lighting it? - Bill! - What? I'm trying to light my cigar.
Don't let anybody look.
We're in an alleyway.
- Will you quit? - Pass me the ball.
Now you know what it's like to be a center.
All those years you had no idea what was going on.
The guy was loving it! - Look.
- Success! - Yes! Go get down in there.
- No, no, no.
I'll do it from here.
- Get close.
Get close.
- Okay [MUFFLED.]
I g - Pull the match down.
- I am! Suck! Suck! [MUFFLED.]
That was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My God, you're beautiful.
That was, uh actually that was a pretty good bonding moment for both of us.
[CHUCKLES.]
The next problem that needs solving is who's gonna lead? Who's the man and who's the woman? It would seem likely that you would be the man, 'cause you're bigger and taller - Well - But that's not the case.
- We're not gonna lose.
- Come on.
Let's go and see what we can do.
Let's go.
Let's go.
They are in for a shock.
Well, guys, you have your practice, and now it's time for the competition.
I will be the judge.
We'll start with Henry and George.
[CLAPPING.]
Hands up.
[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
They love us.
If there was an audience, they would be booing.
We're gonna get a standing ovation.
George, the right foot.
- George, the right foot.
- [CACKLES.]
[CLAPPING.]
Bravo! Bravo! Next couple, please.
Jeff and Elisia.
You got it.
I love a friendly competition Let's impress these old geezers.
And I also love winning friendly competitions.
[CACKLES.]
You got no movement.
Who's the girl here? Jeff, don't be more feminine than her, okay? - Shut up, Terry.
- You look like cardboard.
- Yes.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, yeah! - Too soon.
Too soon.
- [CACKLES.]
- Thank you.
- Beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Our last couple.
Bill and Terry, please.
I feel a little shy about asking you to dance.
I've admired you for a long time.
Putting my arm around Terry is like putting my arm around one of those statues of a horse and a rider.
Immoveable, but muscular.
Spin me.
Spin me again, again, and again.
There.
My love.
Hey, we hate you guys over here.
- No, no.
Here you go.
- Oh, boy.
- Top that.
- Now I've got the results.
I've saw each couple of you dancing, and there's clearly one winner.
If we don't win I think we did really good.
If you dance with someone, you know, 5'3 ", 5'4", and you're 6'3" and chiseled like an Adonis, I'm a shoo-in here, you understand? - Last place - Yeah.
- I know that's right.
- Will be, I'm sorry, Bill and Terry.
- What? - The last place.
You've lost your ever-loving mind! You teach this? - You are a sore loser.
- Yep.
The fix is in.
The game is rigged.
Terry and I waltzed beautifully together.
There's no way that they are better.
Let's have a dance-off.
Well, I can't believe it, either.
And the winner.
For me, the winner is - Jeff and Elisia.
- Yeah, champions! What? - Well done.
- I don't know about this.
Jeff had no movement.
Jeff looked like a frigging 2-by-4 up there.
[MUMBLES MELODICALLY, DERISIVELY.]
You looked like you had a thong on.
I gotta be honest here.
I thought Bill and I knocked it out of the park.
We were graceful.
We were in tune to one another.
- We were robbed.
- Didn't you say that - in your big heavyweight fight? - [GROWLS.]
The prize today are gonna be two priceless Cuban cigars.
All right.
- Priceless, huh? - Priceless.
That is definitely not priceless.
I know who did this.
Yep.
Smells like hillbilly.
I can't believe you guys did this.
- You guys stink.
- [LAUGHING.]
Congratulations.
[COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
I completely ripped my arm.
In one activity, I've counted 19 stitches.
[CACKLES.]
Jeffrey, where is your hand? - It's right here.
- No, your other hand.
Don't worry about it.
- Bahh - Moo - Bahh - Moo! All right.
The audience is somewhat unwilling.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Bill? - Mm? Okay.
Now, listen, I Listen, I better What? Did you sleep in your jacket? Well, I I know, I know.
- I was, uh - What? I have some bad news from home.
There's been a death in the family.
It's my koi.
The fish.
The koi.
The death in the family are your fish? - Yeah.
- How many fish? Could be as many as 30.
- How long have you had them? - 15, 20 years.
- [SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
- - - - [GONG RESOUNDS.]
- You know, koi, they come up and they go [SMOOCHES.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They do little kissing sounds, and you feed them.
When you feed them, yeah.
They're beautiful.
- Do they know you? - They don't say my name.
- Or did they know you? - Yeah, but they would react.
They're loving.
The fish are loving.
- Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
- Are you gonna bury them? - What are you laughing at? - Are you gonna bury No, seriously.
What are you laughing at? Are gonna bury them at sea? [LAUGHING.]
Why are you laughing? First of all, they're freshwater fish, okay? They they The salt would kill them.
And they're already dead.
My koi died, and my friends laughed.
Imagine laughing at the death of a member of your family.
It's unspeakable.
- Look at me.
- Let's be nice.
- Look at me.
Am I laughing? - No, not really.
- Thank you.
- He never did.
Okay.
I'm very sorry, it just - You're laughing now.
- No, I got hay fever in here.
Bill, we are taking this seriously, okay? All right.
The guys are going to the waterpark today, the waterpark, where my koi could have swum.
No.
I'm not going there.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Oh, look at this.
This is gonna be awesome! I actually have family right here in Berlin.
I don't get to see my cousins that often, but we're here today.
We're gonna meet of all places where kids hang out, a water park.
We're gonna have a mini Foreman family reunion.
[LAUGHS.]
- - I gave my family this address.
I didn't know where it would be.
And I'm expecting them to be here.
How long have they been here in Germany? They were born here.
Can you believe that? [SLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hey! There's my girl.
- Yeah! - - - Breaking news: George's cousins are hot.
I'm George's friend.
[TENSE TONE.]
I'm serious, Jeff.
You better keep your paws off them, or you gonna get a paw from me.
- So, you live in Berlin? - Yeah.
What's your exact address? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
- [LAUGHS.]
Just trying to get to know your family.
Yeah.
I got my eye on you, Jeff.
All right.
I'm a little nervous.
Why? - Heights get me.
- Oh, you're gonna love this.
I gotta tell you, this is a little high.
Who said this wasn't high? This is a little high, man.
- This is high.
- Hoo boy.
That's ah.
Come on.
Everybody knows I don't like heights, and now I've got the waterslide thing.
Not not something I'm real happy about right now.
Ooh, I don't know about this.
Hey, seriously, fellas.
Not going over the edge, right? Man, that's scary.
Are you nervous? No, man.
It's gonna be great.
You're gonna love it.
Help! I may not come back from this alive.
George, get inside like we are.
- Yeah! - Whoo! [OUTASIGHT'S "LIFE OF THE PARTY".]
Everybody singing along [SCREAMING.]
Soon as I walk in the room There go the life of the party There go the life of the party What happened to Henry? Whoo! There go the life of the party Soon as I walk in the room [LAUGHTER.]
Henry! Your phone.
Phone! Waterparks are fun.
I got a little bumped up.
[AUDIO MODULATES.]
How can you get bumped up coming down a chute of water? But I managed to.
That was insane.
That was scary.
I completely ripped my arm.
Terry rips his leg.
I've counted 19 stitches.
[LAUGHTER.]
You know, this was a bad idea.
You're a horrible wingman.
These ladies don't even like me no more.
Well, you can't take 250 pounds of pure dynamite, go sliding down something.
I came down that thing doing 70 miles an hour.
Where you getting all these facts? I lost, like, a pint of blood.
- A pint? - Yeah, a pint.
It hurt.
[MYSTICAL SYNTH MUSIC.]
It is amazing that we're here in Berlin.
I wonder what it will be like to actually see if I can find where my parents lived in this city.
I've never been here before.
I want to find a connection.
I'm just not sure where to start.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come in.
[LAUGHS.]
- Can't sleep.
- What are you wearing? - Huh? - What is this? - It's my kimono thing.
- [LAUGHS.]
I got where I like them.
Kind of free-balling.
Feels good.
You look like the geisha of my nightmares.
Could you take some of that free ball and close your legs? Oh.
There is a glare coming from between your legs that is blinding me.
What are you saying? That I shave? I'm not sure, 'cause I can't see here.
- I need sunglasses.
- [CACKLES.]
- Terry? - Hm? Don't take this the wrong way.
This is a helpful hint from a friend.
- Yes.
- Cross your [BLEEP.]
legs.
[CACKLES.]
We see a lot of Terry Bradshaw.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Sleep tight.
- Good night, girls.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
- - All right, watch this.
This is really funny.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It feels good to spoon Henry.
It's how I've always imagined it.
Yes, I've always imagined spooning Henry Winkler.
Wait.
Jeffrey, where is your hand? It's right here.
- No, your other hand.
- Don't worry about it.
Uh could you just thank you.
At first, I wasn't so sure about sharing a room with Jeff, let alone a bed.
Now, I'm positive.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
So, we're on our way to see Germany's oldest singing group called the Comedian Harmonists, at Germany's oldest dance hall, the Ballhaus.
Here we go.
[PLAYFUL PIANO MUSIC.]
ALL: Sad times, bad times You are now a thing of the past [SCATTING.]
Happy days are here again The skies above are clear - So let's sing a song of cheer again - - Happy days are here again - Happy days are here again [SCATTING.]
ALL: Yeah! [ALL CHEER.]
All right! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! - Yeah! Hey! - Hey, hey, hey, hey! Ah, I like that.
Mr.
Winkler, sir.
Would you like to join us for a song? Oh, no.
Please, sir.
It would be an honor.
Happy day.
Happy day.
- Henry Winkler, hey, hey, hey! - Happy day.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Happy day! - Yeah, Henry! ALL: Flowers aplenty far more than 20 The tulips, daffodils, and roses I'm called up on stage, and then they ask me to sing this song.
ALL: That's growing right before our noses I have no idea what they're talking about, but as they're singing it, I start to remember that I heard my parents sing this when I was younger.
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
ALL: Hollari, hollari, hollaro [ALL SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
I take my little cactus out and prick, prick, prick Yeah! Cactus upon the patio Hollari, hollari, hollaro Hollari, hollari, hollaro Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Bravo! Bravo! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Bravo! - Encore, encore! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! Bravo, bravo! Let's hear it! Let's hear it for Henry Winkler.
Henry Winkler.
Ha! You son of a gun, you.
Sit down! I have no idea what he's gonna do.
- This is gonna be a disaster.
- All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, the fun is just beginning.
We'd like to bring onstage now one of the world's most famous human beings.
David Hasselhoff, come on out! Hasselhoff? What? I've been looking for freedom - Whoa! - I've been looking so long The Hoff is here.
We're in the same room.
This is incredible.
I've been looking for freedom I've been looking so long Jeff's a huge David Hasselhoff fan.
I don't know that I've ever seen anybody that excited about seeing David Hasselhoff since well, never.
I've been looking for freedom Freedom, yeah! Still it can't be found Can't be found [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Danke schoen! - Thank you! - Yeah! Yeah! - Whoo! - That's how you do it! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- That was quite a night.
- You're not kidding.
- It was incredible.
- Wasn't it something? Second coolest guy, David Hasselhoff.
- First coolest guy - All right.
- Pops.
Making it happen.
- That's my name.
But for you, it was worth it, for you.
To see you happy, okay? [CYMBAL CRASHES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[COVER OF JOHNNY CASH'S "I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE".]
- Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.
No way.
- Wow.
Thank you.
- Huh? Thank you.
- Fish died.
- [LAUGHS.]
What are you laughing at? Because wow, look at the time.
Son of a bitch.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- - Henry came to Berlin looking for his roots, and after hearing him talk about his uncle, I decided to contact his kids and we decided to set up a really special thing for Henry, so he can walk down the same streets as his family did and give him this very special surprise.
- Oh, my God.
- Wow Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.
- No way.
Oh Helmut Theodor Winkler.
That was my uncle I never met.
He was born in 1909.
He left for Holland.
Guys, come quick.
Come quick.
You're not gonna believe this.
Helmut Theodor Winkler is my father's brother I never met, and he was deported in 1942 to Auschwitz - Oh, no.
- And he died the 31st of January - This is your uncle? - Yeah, at Auschwitz.
- Your father's brother? - Yeah.
My father's brother.
I never met him.
I only heard about him.
But look.
Look.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's from my children.
- You want me to read it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me read it for you.
"Dear Daddy, the touchstone honors your uncle, Helmut.
"He lived and worked here until perishing in the Holocaust.
"Your father Harry also worked here and lived next door, "but a different path led him to New York City "where he started our family.
"Even though the Winkler history "in Berlin is heartbreaking, "we thought it was important for you "to connect with the past "through this hopefully fun adventure, and connect you did" - Yeah.
- "No other landmark represents "Berlin like The Wall.
"Leaving your mark symbolized "that the Winkler family's still thinking and as a matter of fact, we're back in town" - Yeah.
- "At the Brandenburg Gate, "another representation of separation and intolerance.
"You literally connected with a stranger "showing that love conquers all and that Berliners have a strange affinity for bears" - For bears.
- "You just shared the stage "with the Comedian Harmonists, a new iteration of a group "that has been entertaining Germans for decades.
"In fact, your parents and grandparents adored them.
"They have touched generations with their talent as you have with yours.
" "We know that you have a lot of mixed feelings "about your upbringing, "and your parents were harsh, but hopefully being here, "seeing, touching, "and feeling pieces of their lives "can give you a clearer perspective of who they were.
"We're aware that when it comes to them, "you've built a wall around your heart.
"Well, maybe this trip can open the door "to tearing it down in the Berlin tradition.
" - "Tearing down that wall" - Yeah.
- "In true Berlin tradition.
" - Yeah.
"We love you, daddy.
Jed, Zoe, and Max.
" - How you doing, bub? - Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Wow.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- How beautiful is that, huh? - You all helped me, huh? You all helped me.
I don't think Henry really knew what we were looking for, but to be there, to find the touchstone, and that his kids had written this incredible letter describing and defining the moment was such an emotional event and one I'll never forget the rest of my life.
Thank your kids.
The kids, what a job they did.
- What a turn of love - Oh, my gosh.
From what you felt was lack of love to overwhelming love.
Really.
Oh, my God.
It comes through my children and through my friends.
So, you go on a quest.
You don't know what you're gonna find, if you're gonna find anything.
You don't know how detailed it's gonna be.
You don't know how powerful it is gonna be.
And I am grateful that I was able to really get a view that I've never had before of my history before I ever came on this earth.
So, I looked for my family with my friends, who became family.
Pretty great.
- Okay.
- Where are we going next? - Wow.
- Uh, let's go have a beer.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
- I won't have a beer, but I'll have a friend.
[LAUGHTER.]
No, you won't have a beer.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]