Bookie (2023) s02e04 Episode Script

1
(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)
WALT: Oh, good.
My rosary beads didn't
dampen your appetite.
You and I have a big problem.
Oh, no. Tell me.
Without me, Dr. Lorraine
Colavito's not a doctor,
she's not a therapist, she's
a small-time drug dealer.
That was all you?
She didn't even have a hat.
Wowsville.
Walt, I left a tube of
ointment on your nightstand.
WALT: You're the best, Nance.
I chafe easily.
- What are we gonna do about it?
- Wait, you got to ask?
We're gonna make it right.
I'm half this business. Actually, 70/30.
I could put that hat on a donkey.
Enough said. Authorship is what
makes capitalism work.
- Otherwise, we're just China.
- Damn right.
Here's what I suggest.
(CLEARS THROAT)
You and I don't leave this room
until we have hammed out a deal
that works for you and works for me.
What about Lorraine?
What about her?
You s (MUTTERS)
♪
- Where's Anthony?
- Uh, Mom took him to school.
- Good. We need to talk.
- (SHORT CHUCKLE)
- That's usually my line.
- Yeah. She got to go.
After she just went through?
You want to just throw her out?
I want to take her to a dog
hospital and put her down.
Danny, no one could
have seen this coming.
No one? How many of your
stepdads did she bury?
- She stays.
- Oh, that's it? Sandra
I mean, she caused a murder-suicide.
- What's it gonna take?
- I can't explain it to you.
You didn't grow up with a real family.
Yeah, I grew up in a foster
home and you know what I learned?
Thank God for Child Protective Services.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
I'll be in my room.
Look at her.
She's devastated.
Oh, yeah, she's Jackie Kennedy
with brains all over her dress.
Pack her in a box,
call UPS, she got to go.
Danny.
No.
(SCOFFS)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
Oh, wonderful. We're on TV.
Have you never been mellow? ♪
Have you never tried ♪
To find the comfort from ♪
Inside you? ♪
Have you never been ♪
- Ugh.
- (PHONE VIBRATES)
- What?
- Parked outside
stately Mahnanga Manor.
Oh, thank God. I'll be right down.
(SONG RESUMES)
Have you never been mellow? ♪
Have you ever tried? ♪
Grandma! I got to go.
Have a nice day.
- Did he poop?
- No, not yet.
Great. So he'll do it on my watch.
Easy with the wet
wipes. They don't flush.
Mm, mm, mm.
For so many years I prayed
for a man to come along who wasn't
bossy and opinionated.
(CHUCKLES) And look at this.
My prayers have been answered.
Next time, I'll be more specific.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Hey.
- How's Frank?
- Constipated.
How are things in Death Valley?
I got to get rid of Sandra's mother.
Word to the wise.
Make it look like an accident.
Right, so you got Texans minus three,
Jets plus seven good
luck with that one
and you want to parlay
Vikings-Packers over 51
with Seattle-Tampa Bay under 47?
ED: You got it, honey.
- 500 on each.
- You're down.
- You have a nice voice.
- No, I don't.
Any chance you might
want to hook up tonight?
- What? No.
- You sure?
- (DOOR BUZZES)
- I got a place in the Colony,
right on the beach.
Do a couple of lines, watch the sunset.
That's a really nice offer,
but I'm seeing somebody.
(SCOFFS) So am I.
So you're okay that I'm 67 years old?
(SIGHS)
Good luck, 112.
- You got bets for me?
- Yeah. Here.
Jesus, it's like a ransom note.
Where'd you learn to write?
- If you want, I can enter it.
- No, I got it.
So, any word from our
Orange County connection?
- Why?
- What do you mean why?
You made him our partner.
- So?
- So it's not a weird question
if words have been exchanged.
- I haven't heard from him.
- Thank you.
- (DOOR BUZZES)
- (LOCK BUZZES)
- Where's my sugar-free Red Bull?
- I drank it.
- Did you see my name on it?
- As a matter of fact, I did.
- Here's the action I took this morning.
- Thank you.
Oh. See, Hector?
This is what a grown-up's
handwriting looks like.
- Where's my brother?
- Uh, he's on a call.
DANNY: Murder-suicide, Sandra.
Murder-suicide.
Saw him on TV this morning.
The dope was waving at the helicopter.
- (DANNY CONTINUING INDISTINCTLY)
- How you been doing?
(SIGHS)
I'm okay.
- Little lonely.
- I'm sorry.
Between Grandma and Frank,
I'm kind of overwhelmed.
You could pick up the phone.
Oh, please, don't start with me.
Oh, when I start with you, you'll know.
(CHUCKLES)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
- We're out of hand soap.
- Do I look like the fucking janitor?
Hey. There they are my dream team.
What?
They call 'em the Cleveland Browns,
but when they bite the pillow
Monday night in Steel City,
I'm-a call them my biatch!
That's right, y'all.
We are snorting all the
points with Pittsburgh, right?
And when you get paid,
don't forget to smash that like button
and show respect, all right?
This is my Locko from Rocko
AFC North Divisional Home
Dawg Game of the Year.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Goddammit!
The fuck?! I'm on air.
Really? I'm about to
go live with my picks.
Then pay us and we'll
get out of your way.
Just let me finish and
I'll give you your money.
He has picks.
It's like you selling birth control.
All right, Locko Rock Nation,
you know en fuego with my totals.
17 and one.
What? What?
It's unprecedented, it's documented,
it's "fur-mented."
Okay, listen.
Sunday afternoon, you got the
two best offenses in the game,
Dallas and Detroit, Motor
City and America's Team.
Ugh!
Now, Vegas put this at a whopping 57.
What? What?
But John Q. Public ain't skurred.
Those fuckin' idiots pushed it to 58.
That's why you and me? Listen, shh.
You and me? Listen.
We're gonna feed from the
contrarian side of the buffet.
We're going under, under, under,
under, under, under, under,
under, under, under,
under, under, under,
under, under. under,
under, under, under.
Sell the wife, sell the
kids, sell the house,
sell the swing set and fuck the nanny,
and put every penny you have
on Locko Rocko's total of the century.
Smash that like button
and subscribe, subscribe.
Platinum paywall
members, this means you.
Don't wake up Monday morning
with a soggy dick in your hand
being like, "I should've
listened to Rocko."
No, you listen now. Do
what I tell you, now!
Locko Rocko out!
(EXHALES)
What'd you think?
I think you owe use 42 grand.
Fuck.
Mom!
Because you're every
woman in the world ♪
You do realize we're sitting
on a lot of fresh cash.
Time to call Lurch?
I got nothing better.
(DIALS)
(LINE RINGING)
GREGORY: Mr. Colavito,
how can I help you, sir?
We have some more cash
that needs to find a home.
I'm sure that we can get that done.
How's tomorrow?
Actually, I am currently in Sacramento
putting your initial investment to work.
How's Monday?
See you then.
(MONKEY SCREECHES)
Is that a monkey?
No, that is a child
with some sort of protective
headgear, poor thing.
See you on Monday.
(GIGGLES)
Mmm.
- Sounded like a monkey.
- Mm.
What the fuck?
Are you kidding me?
No, no!
Walt, we got a problem.
Son of a bitch!
Who knew about this?
You, me and Hector.
(EXHALES) Hector.
- Oh, shit.
- "Oh, shit," indeed.
- You tell anybody about this?
- No.
- Well, I didn't.
- This is what I get for working with amateurs.
Hey, I'm not the problem here.
You're saying I am?
Well, one of you two
assholes shot your mouth off
and now we're out of business.
There's only one asshole here.
- It's her.
- Oh, children.
Fucking children.
God.
You're a disgrace to the hat.
- RAY: Oh, shit.
- What?
- That's Janelle's ride.
- Who's Janelle?
Baby mama number two.
- You told her where you live?
- Fuck no!
Tell you what.
I'll go in your house if you go in mine.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
GRANDMA: All right, there you go.
JANELLE: Good job, baby.
(CHEERING, CLAMORING)
Good job.
Hey. (LAUGHS)
- This is a nice surprise.
- It is, isn't it?
I think we got a
quarterback here, Rayfield.
Well, I was hoping he grows
up to be a Jewish lawyer.
When were you gonna tell me
you were living in Brentwood?
Let's go say hi to Frank.
He makes boom-boom in his diaper, too.
I'm living in Brentwood.
While me and your son are
living on Pico Boulevard?
- Ain't nothing wrong with Pico.
- I got a registered sex offender
living downstairs.
What you want from me,
Janelle? I'm trying to give
- my grandma a good life.
- Yeah, well, my attorney said
that Ray Junior is entitled
to the same standard of living
- as his father.
- You talked to an attorney?
- What'd I just say?
- We had an agreement.
An attorney's gonna want to
know what I do for a living.
We pull that thread, we'll
all be out on the street.
You're gonna stand there
and tell me this is fair?
Life ain't fair, Janelle.
- We had a one-night stand.
- It was a three-day weekend.
- We were both consenting adults.
- I was still in high school.
(POPS LIPS)
You know what?
Maybe I should just call
your other baby mamas
and give 'em your new address.
(EXHALES)
Check and mate, motherfucker.
Okay, give me one I can
hit. Right about there,
that's where I like 'em.
(TV CHATTER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
Hey.
Hey.
(SIGHS)
You busy?
Why? You need help packing?
(SIGHS) I need you to hear me out.
MAN: Longest one I ever saw.
I am so sorry for what happened,
and I know that there's no words
that can ever make it right.
- Goodbye's a word.
- Oh, Danny.
You have no idea how
many times I've replayed
the events of the last few days.
Maybe if I'd worn something
more sensible poolside.
That's your fix?
Hide the goodies?
I don't know.
I'm trying to make sense of this.
- It's a Greek tragedy.
- Come on.
Could you just move this
along? I want to get drunk,
stumble into the pool,
hit my head and die.
Give me another chance.
I can help with Anthony,
- Sandra.
- How?
Well, Anthony, as you know,
is a very special child
No, not Anthony. Sandra.
Well, that's easy.
I mean, aside from my peccadillo,
you two have been
getting along pretty well.
- Right?
- I guess.
The walls are thin, I
haven't heard any harsh words.
No, not really.
How are things in the bedroom?
- Okay.
- The walls are thin.
For a couple your age,
they're fantastic.
- Yeah, all right.
- So what's different?
You're saying it's you?
I'm saying I have a leveling
effect on my daughter.
When I'm not around,
she's had a tendency
to go to extremes.
- Like?
- Oh, I don't know.
She was, uh, briefly engaged
to a guy on death row.
- You're kidding.
- And of course there's the time
that she smuggled drugs in her snapper.
- Jesus.
- You thought you married Marie Osmond?
I knew there was
stuff, but marone, fuck.
Trust me.
You want me around.
You mind if I tell Sandra
you staying is my idea?
I wouldn't have it any other way.
♪
Hiya, Babe Ruth.
You know, I was just
thinking maybe we just
write off what happened with
the neighbors as an anomaly
and give your mother a break.
Did she say anything to you?
Nah, I'm just
trying to do the right thing.
Oh, Danny, thank you.
Ah, no big deal.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Who do you know in Costa Rica?
DANNY: An offshore book.
They want to do some business.
You need to take that?
Nah.
(PUTS PHONE DOWN)
Oh.
What do you think?
Want to give your bad dog a bone?
Yes, I do, very much.
Come on, you can talk dirtier than that.
I can't. I I get embarrassed.
Just try.
Okay.
- Fuck you, dog.
- No.
Not like that. Like, like
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard,
I'll destroy your pussy."
- Is that what you want?
- Well, no, not literally.
It's just dirty talk. It's fun.
All right.
I'm so mad at your pussy,
I want to mess it up.
- You can just take your bathing suit off.
- Yeah, okay.
SANDRA (IN DISTANCE): Ooh,
what's my mean, old bookie
gonna do if I can't pay?
DANNY: Oh, you don't want to know.
SANDRA: Oh, yes I do.
DANNY: Okay, give me a minute.
SANDRA: Oh, Danny, for God's sake,
just say you're gonna fuck me.
DANNY: One fucking, coming at you!
- (HARP PLAYING GENTLY)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
May I have your attention, please?
Thank you. I'm Walt Dinty.
- Thank you all for coming.
- (APPLAUSE)
Oh!
Ah.
(CLEARS THROAT)
The expansion of consciousness
the yearning for truth
that is the God-given right
of every human being
has long been monopolized by the left.
The libs. Dare I say it?
The hippie pedos.
Well, that changes today.
With American-grown psilocybin.
Every one of us
can look God in His
white, blue-eyed face
and say, "I knew You looked like me."
So, with no further ado,
I would like to introduce
you to a graduate
of Stanford's psychedelic
research facility,
your Sherpa on this
spiritual mountain climb,
the world-renowned Dr. Nancy Rinpoche.
(LIGHT APPLAUSE)
I figured I take the
high road. Less traffic.
I don't know if it's the high
road, but I worked things out
- with Janelle.
- What, you make it look like an accident?
No, I offered to come let
her live in guest house.
You're gonna live
with your ex-girlfriend
and she's gonna see
you coming and going?
It's the guest house,
it has its own entrance.
Oh, fuck me.
Maybe you could go live on Pico.
GRANDMA (IN DISTANCE): Rayfield.
- Rayfield!
- Aw, damn.
I got to go wipe dookie
off an old man's ass.
Poor bastard.
Wonder if I could fuck again?
What's going on?
He's gone, Rayfield.
The Lord took him.
He's with the angels now.
Why are you holding a pillow?
I'm not.
♪
J'aime ♪
J'aime ♪
I love, I love ♪
I, I love ♪
I love ♪
I love ♪
I love-I love Jimmy Luxury ♪
J'aime ♪
Hey, hey, la-da-da-da ♪
I'll see you tomorrow in Havana ♪
I-I love Jimmy. ♪