Chucky (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Previously on "Chucky"
I want to be Jennifer Tilly.
I want to be a star.
Sometimes I feel like a boy.
Sometimes I feel like a girl.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Good morning, sweet
face! Rise and shine!
You kept me prisoner in
this house for a year.
Ms. Tilly, have you ever
heard of Nica Pierce?
Nica Pierce is here, but
she’s innocent, I swear.
[SHOUTS]
♪♪
[PANTING]
Glen, Glenda!
Chucky, we’re trying to
get everything on your rider.
This thing is like 12 pages long
Listen to me, God damn it.
I told you a hundred times
I want fresh-baked
chocolate chip cookies
with macadamia nuts in my dressing room,
not walnuts, you moron!
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
- Walnuts give me hives.
Well, then should I
take them out of your
I don’t give a shit
what you do with them!
You could shove those
cookies straight up your
Chucky, we’re live.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Hello. [LAUGHTER]
Nice to see you again. [APPLAUSE]
I hope you’re enjoying the
new season of my hit show.
Now, Belle, you know
viewers are very curious
about your role on the show this season.
Care to spill any details?
- Yeah, tell us!
- Let’s hear it, Belle!
[LAUGHTER]
Anyway, tonight, you’re in for a treat,
a very special episode of "Chucky,"
where we delve into family secrets,
Hollywood sleaze, and
the violent, depraved acts
of which the human species is capable
All in the name of love.
[LAUGHS]
Glen, Glenda,
it’s so nice to see your sweet faces.
♪♪
Yeah, nice to see you too, Mom.
What are you doing on the floor?
And what the hell is that?
Mom, is that blood?
No!
It’s corn syrup. [LAUGHS]
You know, my team is always after me
to get more violence on my social media.
Come to Mama.
- Aw, Glenda, happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Happy birthday, sweet face.
What oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, where are you going?
I was just gonna hang up my coat.
Oh, that’s not necessary.
It’s your special day.
Why don’t you two take a load off?
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
[GIGGLES]
♪♪
So tell me everything.
Are you two dating anyone?
Yeah, a guy named Paul.
Oh, how nice.
And Glen, how about you?
We’re both dating Paul.
[LAUGHS] That sounds complicated.
What about you, Mom?
Are you seeing anybody these days?
No, no, no, no, no, not seeing anyone.
I’m too busy. [LAUGHS]
So how’s school?
Great.
Great.
We’re making friends.
We’re getting straight A’s.
- We’re great.
- That’s wonderful.
I’ve been worried.
That makes three of us.
You two are so wrapped up in each other,
sometimes you forget
other people even exist.
Me, for example.
Mom, haven’t you ever thought about
maybe it’s not so fun
for us over here lately?
I mean, you haven’t left
this house in over a year.
There’s a 5-inch layer
of dust over everything
and your drinking has
gotten out of control.
Glen, what in the hell
has gotten into you?
Sorry.
Actually, we’ve been talking to Stan.
- Who?
- Your accountant.
He says you’re running out of money.
Are you?
I’m doing fine,
just like you two kids.
Mom, who the hell is Nica Pierce?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
What?
Yes, I did know Nica.
I met her at one of those
charity events I go to.
She was a very sad woman
and very unhealthy mentally.
She was sort of a little
bit obsessed with me.
But I hardly knew her.
That’s why I had a new
security system installed
just in case.
Oops, secure. [GIGGLES]
You installed a whole
new security system
because you were worried that some woman
you "barely knew" was coming to get you?
How many times have I told you
the cautionary tale of Judy Foster?
- It’s Jodie Foster, Mom.
- Glen, where are you going?
You haven’t finished your meatballs.
Phone’s dead. I need to charge it.
- Mom.
- Hmm?
There’s something else
that I’ve been meaning to talk to you
Oh, shit, don’t tell me you’re pregnant.
Jesus, Mom.
I’m not ready to be a grandmother.
Please, stop making
everything about you.
Oh, okay, um, sorry.
Tell me.
When I was little,
like really little,
did I ever hurt someone?
Hurt?
Well, what do you mean?
♪♪
Um
I’ve been having this dream.
I guess it’s more like a nightmare.
And there’s a woman
and she’s blonde,
and she’s screaming
because she’s on fire.
[SCREAMING]
And it just feels like
I’m the one who did it.
And there’s another voice that’s a man,
and he’s nice.
He’s he’s encouraging me.
♪♪
And he called me shit-face.
Well, you and Glen
have always had vibrant imaginations.
♪♪
You’re sure nothing happened?
I mean, there must have been something,
I mean, some sort of trauma.
Because, I mean, Glen and I,
we’ve never felt whole.
♪♪
All we want to know is why.
I just want you two to be happy.
♪♪
Oh, what is taking Glen so long?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪♪
[WHIMPERING]
[LATCH RATTLING]
[GASPS]
♪♪
Find your charger?
Yes. Yes.
Glen, this is this This is Jeeves.
I hired a little extra help
for tonight, for your birthday.
He was supposed to be here an hour ago.
I told you, my improv class went late.
You’re a butler?
[CHUCKLING] Yeah! I mean, tonight I am.
Well, have at it, Jeeves.
Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you, sweetie.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Why do you keep that door locked?
Honey, all my shoes are in there.
I don’t want you stealing
my Manolo Blahniks again.
♪♪
You’re too young to be so suspicious.
Not everything has to be
an unpleasant surprise.
ALL: Surprise!
What the hell is this?
We wanted a surprise party,
so we threw one ourselves.
That doesn’t make any sense.
We figured you wouldn’t
want to have people over,
given your Norma Desmond
vibes as of late,
but isn’t it nice to see everybody?
I mean, Auntie Gina,
Uncle Pants, Mrs. Stracke.
I wasn’t expecting this.
[BLOWS]
Party pooper.
That’s me. I’m a party pooper.
Yes, honey, why don’t you
take that in the kitchen?
You too, Glenda. Thank you, thank you.
You haven’t been avoiding me
just over that silly poker debt.
I don’t owe you any money.
No, Sutton, I paid you back.
Jen, what is going on?
- Really, are you okay?
- Nothing is going on.
- I’ve been busy.
- Doing what?
Come on, kid.
You’re amongst friends.
Now, if you’ve been holed up here
waiting for a face lift to settle or
- Face lift?
- Whatever
- Joey, what is wrong with you?
- Let me finish.
You come over here to insult me?
I’m just saying I’m just saying
All I’m saying is,
time and money well spent.
Shut up, Joey.
Too busy to call?
Jen, we have been worried about you.
What is this, a party
or an intervention?
If the muumuu fits.
Well, I wasn’t expecting
guests, Ms. Fashionista.
For a year, you, Ms. Party Girl,
were not expecting
guests for an entire year?
Sorry, Jen, I don’t buy it.
Just tell us what’s going on.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Who the hell is that now?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Hello, Jen.
Don’t you have a hug for
your long-lost little sister?
Oh, my God.
-
- [PLAYFUL DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[DOG BARKING]
♪♪
[LAUGHTER]
[FLOWING PIANO MUSIC]
♪♪
And just enough left for me.
- Champagne?
- We’d love some.
We’d love some too.
- Oh, what, all of you?
- Yes, thank you.
♪♪
Huh.
I would like to propose a toast.
What are we drinking to?
Sir, what are you staring at?
Don’t worry. We’re used to it.
We’re used to it too.
[SIGHS]
To family.
- To family.
- To family.
♪♪
Aunt Meg, it’s great
to finally meet you.
- I mean, we’re huge fans.
- Aw.
We want to get into show business too.
You know, Mom always said
you were the older one.
- Is that true?
- Oh.
[LAUGHS] No.
That’s Jen.
You know, plus,
I think everyone always
assumed I was older
because I got famous way before she did.
You know, of course, I did
receive my Oscar nomination
ten years before she did so
[LAUGHS AND SIGHS]
Ah, so where is she anyway?
[DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC]
I’m ready to party!
♪♪
Ta-da!
- Oh, Jen, you look stunning.
- Thank you.
What are you doing?
You’re supposed to be downstairs.
- I was improvising.
- Well, don’t.
- And I was good.
- Shh.
I know I’ve been a bit
of a recluse this year,
as I’m increasingly valuing my solitude.
I seem to be entering my Garbo era.
But it is nice seeing
all your sweet faces.
To my babies.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
ALL: Happy birthday.
[LAUGHTER]
- Um, Glen, how is that
- Isn’t that your Oscar dress?
No, but thanks for reminding me
when I lost to that bitch, Dianne West.
Oh, it’s Wiest. [CHUCKLES]
[SCOFFS] Whatever.
So, Meg, um
Yeah?
What have you been up to?
Oh, right, seriously, Jen,
you’ve been dodging me for 24 years
because, clearly, I did
something to offend you
and, Jen, I missed you
Well, now I forgive you.
For what? That’s what I want to know.
Let’s not rehash the past.
Bygones be bygones.
No, no.
You know, ever since you did
that stupid "Chucky" movie,
it’s like that’s
when you stop talking to me.
It’s not stupid.
The "Chucky" movie was a big hit.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just
[CLEARS THROAT]
Holy shit, I got it.
You’re Ralphie from "The Sopranos."
That is a character I played once.
Are you a fan?
Of you? No, hell no.
No, I cheered when Tony
destroyed your guido ass.
- Uh-huh.
- Your head in that bag?
Mwah, chef’s kiss.
- You know, come.
- Yeah?
Guido is now a slur.
And as a fellow American
of Italian descent,
I’d ask you to go a little
easy on the stereotyping.
Not all of us are gangsters.
Some of us are just actors.
Okay, Ralphie. [LAUGHS]
[DISSONANT CHORD]
See, it’s Joe.
Joe.
I can see you’re
still a little confused.
Are you telling me that
there’s not one
single actual goodfellow
in your entire dago family?
No, no, not that I can think of, no.
Well, I thought you was one
of those methadone actors.
No, you see,
it’s not my ethnicity I draw from.
It’s my natural rage at morons like you.
Hear, hear. [CHUCKLES]
What about you, Gi-na?
Oh, please do not call me that.
Okay, fair enough.
But are you a method
actor, you know, for like
Like a threesome scene,
like, girl-on-girl shit?
Oh, my God.
Joey, I can’t believe
I’m gonna say this,
but for once, we actually
agree on something.
- This guy’s an absolute moron.
- [CHUCKLES]
It’s going to be a bumpy night.
Jeeves, may I speak to you, please?
Yeah, yeah, one second, one
second, give me one second.
Don’t think I forgot about
you. I recognize you too.
Um, yeah, I’m on a reality show.
It wasn’t a reality show,
it was hardcore reality.
Laguna Beach, last summer?
I beg your pardon, sir.
No, I swear to God, if
I knew you were famous,
I would have called you back.
[PLAYFUL SPOOKY MUSIC]
♪♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪♪
Just make sure you stay out of Russia.
- Why?
- They wouldn’t understand you.
Who does? [LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLING]
I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I just gotta ask because I don’t know.
What the hell are you
two supposed to be anyway?
I beg your pardon.
No, you look like a boy.
He looks like a girl.
Glen and I are both nonbinary.
That’s kind of the point.
We go by they/them.
Yeah, but they/them
have always been plural.
"Strunk and White,"
the Holy Bible of the English
language, dictates that.
Why don’t you drag yourself
into the 21st century, ass wad?
Language evolves, taint breath.
Besides, Strunk and White
have been dead for years.
Please show my niblings the
simple respect they deserve.
- Hear, hear.
- Your niblings?
Yeah, other acceptable,
gender-neutral terms
for niece and nephew are niephling,
chibling, and sibkid.
Oh, my God, you are so cute. I love you.
Yeah, it’s very cute
and stupid because those aren’t words!
The hell is the matter with you people?
Jeeves, will you please
come with me right now!
But of course.
I told you!
What did I tell you about being down
So what where Jeeves!
Jeeves!
What a dick.
I told you to guard
this door, you moron,
not to insult my guests!
If I wasn’t so desperate for
help, I’d kill you myself.
Why don’t you just put up some cameras?
Because I have nosy teenagers,
and I can’t take any chances.
Well, what are you
hiding in there anyway?
If you must know, my girlfriend.
[WHISPERING] And my husband.
[SPARSE TENSE MUSIC]
Hooray for Hollywood.
♪♪
What the hell?
[CLOCK TICKING]
♪♪
Where the hell is everybody?
[SCREAMS]
- [ALARM CHIMING]
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
♪♪
[PANTING]
♪♪
[SOFTLY] No.
Oh.
♪♪
Oh.
♪♪
[GROANS SOFTLY]
Oh, my God.
Nica?
♪♪
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
[GASPS SOFTLY]
[SCREAMS]
Jen-Jen, what’s going on?
Don’t sneak up on me like that.
What are you doing in here?
Just
[SHUDDERS AND GROANS]
[TENSE MUSIC]
Holy shit.
Jesus, what the
Oh, my God!
- [BANGING]
- Let us out! We’re stuck!
I think he’s I think he’s dead.
He’s dead?
Mom, what happened?
Uh..
Ha!
The first victim is the butler.
For Glen and Glenda.
You know how the twins
love a murder mystery.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
this is a murder mystery party?
Exactly, Gina.
[LAUGHING] You know I love that.
That’s why I hired this Jeeves here.
[DRAMATICALLY] But now he’s murdered.
Not really, he’s just,
you know, an actor.
[LAUGHS]
That guy is no actor.
He’s solid oak.
I can see his eyes moving from here.
We are all going to solve this mystery.
I need to know who killed Jeeves
and who opened the bedroom door.
All of you are suspects,
each and every one of you.
And I am going to find out
who did it.
All right, so we have Sal De Marco.
Dude, I don’t care what Joey says,
you are killing it as a dead guy.
It says Topanga Security,
so he’s a security officer.
Our first clue.
No, no, that doesn’t mean anything.
The jury will please disregard.
Gina, give me that.
Oh! [SNIFFS]
Arsenic.
[GASPS]
How do you know what
arsenic smells like?
And what is so important
about that room?
Yeah, it looks like Rapunzel’s
bedroom or something.
It looks like Rapunzel had
a really bad tummy ache.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Yuck.
Jennifer, who’s your decorator?
I am going to be
asking all the questions
from here on out.
Now I kindly request
that the assembled company
please retire to the drawing room.
What is that?
It’s called the living room.
Okay, bye.
I’ll join you later.
- Good job, Jeeves.
- Mm-hmm.
Yes, bye.
[PLAYFUL SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
You too, Ms. Snoopy Pants.
Go on, get out of here.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪♪
Nica?
Nica, where are you?
♪♪
-
- [SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
The champagne was served
shortly after 8:00.
The lights went out at 8:30.
That was the time of death.
So since all of you are still alive,
I’m deducing that sometime
between 8:00 and 8:30,
the killer put the poison
in the champagne bottle.
Mm.
[BRITISH ACCENT] But we were
all in here together, guv’nor.
So any of us could have done it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Exactly.
- Sutton.
- Yes.
How did you feel when Jeeves
told everybody he screwed you?
Angry enough to kill him?
Well, Gina hated him too.
[BRITISH ACCENT] Yeah,
but I didn’t bugger him.
Maybe both of you did it.
In cahoots, that would be fun.
[BRITISH ACCENT] It weren’t me, mate.
As I recall, the gentleman had the gall
to insult Italians, which,
Joey, will give you the motive
to kill him to defend your honor.
Gina, what are you doing?
I’m trying to do that ’80s
- Well, no
- You know, BBC sort of thing.
Just stop.
I know, it’s not Listen,
I didn’t practice it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, wait.
Listen, you’ll love this one. Um
[FRENCH ACCENT] Don’t blame
me, stranger, for your troubles.
I’m innocent.
Yeah? [CHUCKLES]
Okay, yeah,
that was brilliant,
that was brilliant, Gina.
Maybe you should lay off
the champagne a little bit.
Auntie Gina, what about this?
[BRITISH ACCENT] Joey here
must have killed the poor sod
in self-defense.
Oh, that’s so good. Bravo.
We’re kind of anglophiles.
You know, maybe we need
some forensic accountants around here.
What, what, what? Forensics, why?
Jen, this is Beverly Hills.
All crimes are almost
always about money.
Oh, I see.
You’re just rehashing
your "Housewives" bit
from season 11.
It was not a bit.
Hey, hey, how about this?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES]
"Basic Instinct."
No one wants to see that, Joe.
You didn’t mind at Cannes.
All right, all of you are
behaving very strangely
and very suspiciously, so
You’re behaving pretty
peculiarly yourself.
[GROANS]
I’m the detective, so
I know I didn’t do it.
But all of you had multiple motives,
especially when the victim
refused to honor my kids’ pronouns.
Who would commit murder over pronouns?
Each and every one of you
because I know you all
love Glen and Glenda
as much as I do,
and I love each and
every one of you for it.
Even you, Meg.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
What about them?
- Us?
- [LAUGHING] Yeah.
[GERMAN ACCENT] True, true.
You two have as much motive
to kill that man as we do.
[LAUGHS] That’s ridiculous.
I mean, if we killed
every small-minded idiot
that insulted us, half the
country would be dead by now.
[BRITISH ACCENT] And
we wouldn’t hurt a fly.
- [ALARM CHIMING]
- [GASPS]
Uh
♪♪
Um, if you’ll excuse me
for a moment, a little
A little emergency.
I have to go put out some fires.
♪♪
Nica?
Nica?
[SCREAMS]
[GASPS]
Oh, Gina, you just about
gave me a heart attack.
- [LAUGHING]
- I wasn’t expecting you.
Jen, why the hell are you hanging out
with a Beverly Hills housewife?
Beverly Hills is just a state of mind.
Sutton is she’s odd but nice.
Jen, are you sleeping with Sutton?
[LAUGHING] No, Sutton?
No. [LAUGHS]
Okay, well, I mean, you’re
sleeping with someone ’cause
- No, I’m not.
- You ghosted me.
- No, no.
- Come on, you could tell me.
No, Gina, Gina, there’s only you.
Only you.
- Can I tell you a secret, Jen?
- Sure.
Yes, I like secrets.
Do you know when we first met?
Yes, I remember that.
It was, yeah, a Saturday.
Yes. [LAUGHING] It was a Saturday?
- Yes, and
- Oh, you’re so romantic.
Oh, what are you doing?
- So when we first met
- Yes?
I kind of thought you were boring.
What what What are you doing?
- A little actress-y maybe.
- Um, yeah.
- And then you did that "Chucky" movie.
- [GASPS] Yes.
And you just kind of
became a little detached.
Oh, yeah.
A little distant,
kind of irresistible.
Oh, yeah, I
[GASPS] I hear that a lot, yes.
- Jen.
- Uh-huh?
I think we shouldn’t hide anymore.
I think we should tell
everyone we’re together.
I’m sick of it.
Seriously, I know before
we were worried about work,
but now it would actually
help us get jobs, to be honest.
Oh, um, um, Gi
Gina, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
♪♪
Gina?
Yes, Jen.
Can I ask you a question?
Anything.
Did you kill the butler?
What?
- The butler, did you kill him?
- [LAUGHS]
- I just want to know.
- Okay.
Mm-hmm.
[GERMAN ACCENT] I could see baby
wants to play some more, hmm?
Fraulein wants to role play.
No, no, she doesn’t.
Sure, I’d do anything for you.
Why, in fact, Mama
has a surprise for you.
I brought you something very special.
You wait here for me while I go get it.
Uh, yes, I’m not
You won’t go anywhere?
You’re not going to be a
bad, little Liebchen, are you?
I’m not going to be
Because you would be
punished if you are.
A bad little Liebchen.
I’m just going to wait right here.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- [VOCALIZING SOFTLY]
- Oh, you’re
Um, bye, Gina.
[FLOOR CREAKS]
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
Nica.
Nica, are you there?
[METAL SNAPS]
Ah! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
[TIFFANY SCREAMS]
Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey!
It’s not a good time.
No, Joey, I’m very, very busy.
What you’re
- Gina.
- Uh, yeah?
I think she still wants to bang you.
Yeah, probably.
But I’m totally down
for it if you let me watch.
No, Joey, Joey.
I have a question for you.
Did you kill the butler?
- I’ll tell you.
- Hmm?
- If you blow me.
- Ah!
Not now, Joey. I’m really, really busy.
I’ll catch you later.
♪♪
I swear I didn’t kill him.
He was dead when I came down to get you.
Do you believe me?
♪♪
Yeah.
Everything was working.
I mean, she’s totally
distracted by the party,
and everybody’s fawning over her,
and she’s pretty drunk, like usual.
She’s got this new security system,
and I can’t just take you out
the back door like we planned.
And until the power comes back on,
I can’t even get
you out of the basement
because we need the elevator.
Are you sure she doesn’t
know about this room?
Yeah.
It’s the only part of
the house her stupid app
doesn’t know about.
She never knew about this room.
Me and Glenda found
it when we were nine.
Glen.
I cannot go back.
Nica, I promise you’re
leaving this house tonight.
♪♪
Sorry.
-
- [DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
This is my big courtroom scene.
Jim Carrey said I was the best actress
he ever worked with, even
better than Nicole Kidman.
Yeah, he said "Jennifer Tilly",
"you should have another
Another"
[CHUCKLING] And she’s out.
Ridiculous.
[WHISPERING] Glenda.
I want to see what she’s
hiding in that room.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[BRITISH ACCENT] Skullduggery!
I didn’t think you had it in you.
♪♪
- Can’t get in?
- [SCOFFS] As if.
♪♪
Where’d did you get those?
Auntie Gina gave them to me.
[LATCH CLICKS]
Oh, wait.
♪♪
We have no idea what’s in there.
♪♪
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
♪♪
I think we should get out of here.
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
Grow a pair.
[MUFFLED SOBBING]
Okay, okay, okay.
♪♪
Oh, God! Oh, God,
you’ve gotta help me!
- Are you Glen?
- No, I’m Glenda.
How do you know who we are?
Your mother is a psychotic murderer
who thinks she’s in love with me,
and she chopped off all my limbs,
and she’s kept me
trapped in here for a year.
- Mom’s a murderer?
- Mom’s a lesbian?
She’s not who you think she is.
We have to get you out of here.
Wait, what if she’s lying?
Glenda, who would lie about this?
- You’re so naive.
- And you’re impulsive.
- I’m getting the wheelchair.
- Wait!
You can’t just wheel
me out of here, okay?
I’m wanted in five states,
and I’m not going back to the asylum.
What’d you do?
I was framed.
Sure.
Look,
I have no home and no family.
But before I can just
waltz on out of here,
I need a safe place to go,
or your mother is gonna hunt me down.
- Yoo-hoo, sweet faces!
- [WHIMPERS]
Get out of this room, okay?
Gag me and get out of here.
Don’t tell her you found me.
I have a plan if you help me.
Of course we’ll help you.
I’ll distract Mom.
♪♪
[WHIMPERING SOFTLY]
♪♪
Oops.
Forgot this.
[GASPS] Ow.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
What the hell is wrong with you?
[MOANS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪♪
[LAUGHING]
[IN CHUCKY VOICE] Glenda.
You’re even more
beautiful than I imagined.
Thanks, but what’s it to you?
Because I’m your dad.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
♪♪
Chucky!
I got trapped in this body,
and your mom’s holding me hostage.
[GASPS SOFTLY]
What do you know about my dad?
Did you do something to him?
Glenda, it’s me. [CHUCKLES]
My dad bailed on us.
Do you know what it does to a kid
when a parent decides
they’re not worth staying for?
It leaves a big, empty hole
in your chest right here.
That’s what it does.
You got a hole in your chest?
Let me see.
It’s a fucking metaphor.
[LAUGHS]
[INHALES DEEPLY] That’s right.
Give your dad hell, kid.
But listen, I didn’t bail on the family.
I wanted to stay,
but your mom drove me away
and lied to you about it.
This is all bullshit.
Deep down, you know it’s true.
So when you’re ready
to get revenge on your mom
for keeping us apart, come back.
I got a plan, shit-face.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
What did you just call me?
Shit-face.
I always meant it affectionately.
[LAUGHING]
-
- ♪♪
Hello, Billy.
It’s Billy the bear.
Hello, Billy.
Ah.
Ah.
What? What is it?
My pinky itches.
[SOFT TENSE MUSIC]
Huh.
Sometimes it’s like
I can still feel things,
like my brain hasn’t caught
up to my body or something.
♪♪
Sometimes I feel like that too.
Like something’s missing.
Inside.
♪♪
You’re a good kid, Glen.
You’re definitely not like your parents.
Do you know my dad too?
Yeah.
Is he as crazy as my mom is?
Yeah.
It’s now or never.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
♪♪
[CACKLES]
[IN CHUCKY VOICE] Oh.
You ready to kill your mom, shit-face?
What did you just say to me, Nica?
Oh, I’m not Nica. [LAUGHS]
Glen’s a wuss.
They never would’ve
agreed to kill Mom.
Oh, that’s too bad.
Now
where are my arms?
You know what, pig?
I think you killed
Jeeves, didn’t you, Meg?
What the hell are you talking about?
I’m a little confused right now.
I thought it was just a
How did you get in that room?
How did you get in there? It was locked.
No, it wasn’t. It was open.
It was not open. It was locked.
Jen, would you stop this?
- I bet you killed Jeeves.
- Just stop it.
- You killed him, didn’t you?
- Just stop it.
[SCREAMS AND CACKLES]
♪♪
Hiya, Tiff.
Oh, Chucky, why don’t
you just die already?
♪♪
[CACKLES]
You first.
[CACKLING]
-
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Chucky, please, we can
still work things out.
The only thing left to work out, Tiff,
is whether I shoot you
in the head or the heart.
You already broke my heart, Chucky.
Okay, the head it is. [CACKLES]
I’m so sorry, so is she
supposed to be the murderer?
Because we haven’t met
her. It’s not totally fair.
I don’t really know her.
The wheelchair, we need to
check it for fingerprints.
Really, Meg? You want
to play the game now?
Hold this. It’s going on the Gram.
Please, Chucky.
You know
[SIGHS]
I’m almost gonna miss you, Tiff.
No! Oh, no!
Almost!
[GUN CLICKING]
♪♪
Glenda, what the fuck?
Sorry, somebody must
have taken the bullets.
You bastard!
I’m sorry, Nica.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Are you following this?
Are you following this at all?
Yes, it’s fabulous.
I love you, I love you. [SOBBING]
- Nica!
- I’m sorry.
- Come on!
- I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Who’s Nica?
- Who’s Nica?
- No, no!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪♪
- Come on.
- I’m not going.
What?
I can’t just leave Mom like this,
especially after what you
just tried to do to her.
What about me?
I can’t.
Mom needs help. We all do.
Fine!
Just ask her,
who’s Tiffany Valentine?
♪♪
No!
No!
♪♪
[TIRES SCREECH]
♪♪
Nica, stop, stop!
♪♪
No!
[PANTING]
No!
[PANTING]
Nice to finally meet you.
- I’m Kyle.
- Nica.
No, Nica! Nica, come back!
No!
No!
Where’s Glen?
They’re not coming. Just drive.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
No!
No ahh!
[SCREAMING]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Brava!
Brava!
This is the best murder mystery party
I’ve ever been to ever.
Brava, Jen!
I didn’t understand
a thing that happened,
but I loved every minute of it!
- Wait, hey.
- Hm?
Where’s Joey?
To help us figure it all out,
please welcome one of my biggest fans,
WWE superstar Liv Morgan!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪♪
Liv, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Chucky.
It’s truly an honor to be here with you.
Fantastic.
Who do you think killed the butler?
Well, I have a theory.
It’s always the person
you least suspect,
so I’m gonna have to go with Meg.
I mean, did you see "Agnes of God"?
Nope, never heard of it. [LAUGHTER]
Now let’s roll the tape.
Just enough left for me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- Champagne?
- We’d love some.
We’d love some too.
Ta-da!
Oh, Jen, you look stunning.
Thank you.
- Mm, there’s my girl.
- You know it!
What are you doing?
You’re supposed to be downstairs.
- I was improvising.
- Well, don’t.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪♪
Apparently, Glenda always
keeps some strychnine handy.
You must be so proud.
But they were supposed
to kill my ho-bag ex too,
so
who took the bullets out of the gun?
Sutton?
You’re not very good at this, are you?
[LAUGHTER]
♪♪
I knew it.
I knew she was seeing someone else.
[CHUCKLING] Uh, it’s not what you think.
Really, Joey no-pants?
Okay, it’s what you think.
♪♪
I’m in love with her,
okay? What are you doing?
Just being a dick,
getting your rocks off?
I love her too. [FLY ZIPS]
♪♪
Or maybe it’s less. I don’t know.
What’s the right answer?
Why don’t you try honesty,
Joey, for once in your life?
Honesty is the only thing that’s gonna
get you out of here alive.
Um, Gina, I, uh
I just got this suit.
It’s Armani.
Do you love her or not?
♪♪
[SIGHS]
I love her.
Wrong answer.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪♪
Wait, I’m confused.
So how did Gina get the gun?
Okay, so Glenda knew
they were gonna need a gun
to take care of Tiff for me,
so they asked Auntie
Gina to get ’em one
for their birthday.
Now, this is called
a Sutty Butty Butthole.
It tastes much better than it sounds.
Actually, it sounds delicious.
♪♪
What a cool aunt.
But then Gina took the gun
to deal with Joey.
Tricky minx.
She shot him and hid
his body in the elevator.
She’s clearly a sociopath,
not to mention smokin’ hot.
I might have to look her up later.
But she’s been sleeping
with Tiffany for years,
just like Joey.
Aren’t you upset at that, Chucky?
Yeah.
I think I need a hug.
You like to be hugged.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
You’re such a big boy. [CHUCKLES]
Now there’s just one more thing.
The network’s concerned
fans might have missed
seeing yours truly in action.
Plus, they’ve probably missed hearing
my ten allotted F-bombs.
Wait, they only give you
ten F-bombs per episode?
Liv, can you help me out?
- How?
- Roll the tape.
I want Chucky to kill me.
[LAUGHS] Isn’t that a dream?
It’s a dream.
I don’t want a starring
role. I don’t want a lead.
I just want to be brutally
murdered by Chucky.
[LAUGHTER]
[AUDIENCE OOHS]
Come on now, Chucky, you
know I was only kid
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
[LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
This concludes our very
special episode of "Chucky."
Tune in again next week
as I continue to torture
those dipshit kids.
Good night and sweet dreams.
Fuck, fuck, fu