Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

1
KAI: Previously on
Doogie Kamealoha, M.D.
WALTER: Now that I'm sponsored by Nuked,
they're moving me and my surf
buddies into their official house.
We had the most amazing time
with your boy in Australia.
I'm finally ready to move on.
STEPH: This trip is a full Kai detox.
I have feelings for Steph.
My Steph?
LAHELA: The one that's
obviously been into you forever?
- Your timing sucks.
- I'm Nico.
NICO: I have been a
cancer kid for a long time.
LAHELA: That is why you were
going so fast on your dirt bike.
NICO: Yeah, and I never know when
it's going to be my last time.
Are we drifting apart?
WALTER: Neither of us have
normal kid jobs right now.
But we still love each other.
That's all that matters, right?
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
And the next thing you know,
at the farmer's market,
a flash mob broke out.
And the whole thing was
this kid asking a girl
to a high school dance.
I mean, the crepes
lady is doing backflips.
The veggie guy is waving
zucchinis like they're glow sticks.
There was a clown in a pile of guavas.
(LAUGHS)
He might not have been a part of it.
Yeah, everyone's asking their dates
to the Jellyfish Jam in these crazy,
elaborate ways. It's so extra.
Isn't Mom's cousin from
Jersey in a flash mob?
Um Different kind of mob.
"One, two, one, two, three, four?"
(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
Kai, will you go to the
Jellyfish Jam with me?
Oh.
Sorry, Nikki, but I kind of
had my eye on someone else.
(BAND PLAYING SAD MUSIC)
So, when did my Stephanie
capture your heart?
What?
Wait, how did you know?
Only my true love could reduce
someone I once admired to this
pathetic puddle.
Never meet your heroes.
Well, yeah, I've liked her for a while,
and I wanna ask her to the dance.
I always knew I'd have to fight for her.
I just never thought I'd be
against my own flesh and blood.
Okay, cool it.
I don't think either of
you has a chance with Steph.
Brian Patrick, you're in the 7th grade.
But read at an 8th-grade level.
And Kai, Steph had a crush on you
forever. And you didn't do anything.
So, she moved on.
She's dancing, she's
painting, she's meditating.
She's in a really good place.
So, you think it's too late?
(TRUMPET TOOTING)
(MAN PANTING)
I overslept. Did I miss it?
(THEME MUSIC)
Dr. Kamealoha, listen. I wanted
to tell you that tomorrow night,
you're covering the floor.
Wait, really?
(GIGGLES)
Be professional.
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
- Now, when I was a resident,
my favorite attending
called covering "Captaining"
and only made fun of me a little
bit when I made this pin to wear.
When you wear this, you are in charge.
You make all decisions
on treatment plans.
It's a big responsibility,
but you've earned it.
Thank you.
Now, give your mom a
hug. I'm so proud of you.
(BOTH GIGGLE)
How you feeling today, Nico?
Proud.
Rumor has it my very own teenage doctor
is gonna captain her first shift.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, I mean it.
Look, I have been in and
out of hospitals long enough
to know that this is a big
deal, so, congrats, dude.
- Thank you.
- But
are we sure you're ready? What?
I've seen doctors, like, three times
your age crack under the pressure.
- Really? Mm.
- Um-hmm.
What up, Nico? Dr. Kamealoha.
- (IMITATES BUZZING)
- (WHOOSHES)
Oh, Gordon.
This one is captaining her
first shift tomorrow night.
Well, that's great.
But are we sure you're ready for it?
Because I've seen doctors three times
(LAUGHS)
Oh, come on, man. You had her.
Sorry, I know you wanted me to,
but I can't mess with Dr. Kamealoha.
She's one of the good ones.
Thank you, Gordon.
And Nico, you have a bone marrow biopsy
in two days, okay, so get some rest.
We have some cancer to beat.
Not a problem. I can
mess with you in my sleep.
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
Kai. A word?
After much soul searching,
you have my blessing.
You may court Stephanie Marie Denisco.
Really?
I'm man enough to admit that you
and her make more sense together,
both age and height wise.
You like Steph?
What is wrong with you two? And why
do we have so many swivel chairs?
This is amazing.
- Does Steph know how you feel?
- Not yet.
And we have our work cut out for us.
Steph had a crush on him forever,
even though he just learned
that Norway is a real place.
I thought it was just from Frozen.
Wait, Steph had a crush on you?
How did you not know?
(LIGHT MUSIC)
You okay, Steph?
I have major feelings for Kai.
Ah, me too. He's a good kid.
No, I'm attracted to your son.
He's got great energy. Yeah.
No, I think he's, like, really hot.
I get it. It's a scorcher out
here. I'll bring him some water.
I must have somehow missed the signs.
Of course you did.
Romantic obliviousness is the
hallmark of the Kamealoha men.
Well, that and thinking
the word is "supposebly."
(SCOFFS)
Kai, I'll help you come
up with an amazing way
to ask Steph to the dance.
I'm the King of Romance, remember?
Let's think big. Nothing's off limits.
It's short notice, but let me see
if my pyrotechnic guy is available.
Wait, why do you have a pyro guy?
And Benny, I love how excited you
get, but let's just pump the brakes.
Kai knows what he's doing.
Thanks, Mom. And, yeah, guys. I
don't think I really need any help.
I mean, everyone's going to
the Zippy's parking lot tonight,
so I thought I'd just ask her there.
How?
By saying
"Will you go to the dance with me?"
(SIGHS)
Here, you'll need this if the
plan is just to phone it in.
Both of you, stop. It's perfect.
- Oh, I'm so excited.
- Thanks, Mom.
And he's supposebly one of us.
Right?
(SIGHS)
Your shift doesn't start for
an hour. You're already working?
You should know "early
bird gets the worm,
but the regular bird gets
the exact same paycheck."
I am reviewing patient reports.
I want everything to go perfectly.
Well, you're wasting your time.
Doesn't matter what you do,
tonight's gonna be a mess.
Why would you say that?
Because, you're a black cloud.
I'm not.
- What does that mean?
- Seriously?
Okay. So in any hospital, there
are doctors who are white clouds,
and there are doctors
who are black clouds.
When white clouds are on,
things tend to go smooth.
Like me on the dance floor.
But when black clouds
are on, it's total chaos.
Like I imagine you on the dance floor.
That was supposed to be awful,
but I couldn't help myself,
so it was actually pretty dope.
Okay. Firstly, I've got moves, okay?
And secondly, even if what
you were saying was true,
- which it's not, I'm not a black cloud.
- Oh, really?
Let's just review your career thus far.
DR. LEE: Wherever you
are, disaster strikes.
- You okay?
- With your boyfriend.
(SCREAMS)
At the beach.
Let's give a warm welcome to
Dr. Kamealoha on her first day.
DR. LEE: And who could forget
the biggest catastrophe of all?
The oven broke in the cafeteria.
No chocolate chip cookies this week.
(ALL GROAN)
You're a black cloud. Doesn't
mean you're a bad doctor.
You're just in the wrong
place at the wrong time.
Like anyone who has to
follow me at karaoke.
Good luck ♪
WALTER: Lahela's awesome boyfriend.
Lahela's awesome boyfriend.
Lahela's awesome
Hey, babe. Do you like the new ringtone?
I changed all the sounds
on your phone to that.
(CHUCKLES) I love it.
I love that suit.
Hey, we should go to men's
Zara together sometime.
Okay. One second.
DR. LEE: We're having a conversation.
So, what are you wearing?
WALTER: You like the suit? You know,
my stylist picked it out for me.
You have a stylist?
Well, just for tonight.
Oh, remember when I took those
pictures for O'ahu Surf magazine?
Did I tell you they made
me the cover? (LAUGHS)
LAHELA: Oh, my gosh. Wow.
That's amazing. I'm so happy for you.
Thanks. And there's this big
party tonight to celebrate.
You think you can get
off work and come with me?
Oh, I would love to, but I'm
captaining tonight, remember?
Oh, right, but, I mean,
it's just one shift.
You can get someone to cover, right?
Well, no. This is kind
of a big deal for me.
Yeah, and tonight is
kind of a big deal for me.
I'm sorry, but I can't.
Yeah. No, it's fine.
I get it.
(SCOFFS) Um
What if we meet at our spot on the beach
and have a sunrise breakfast to
celebrate both of our big nights?
That's a great idea. Set your
alarm on your phone right now.
(CHUCKLES)
Done. Good luck tonight.
Yeah, you too.
Hey, man to man. I hope
you have a magical night.
Okay, get out of here.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
But the whole thing is they're
going into it as best friends.
But I feel like it's just for the drama.
Has your sister ever had to
amputate like a leg or something?
I don't know, Spyder. Probably.
Huh.
Does she get to keep them?
I'll be right back.
- No, he hinted at it at first period.
- Hey, Steph.
Do you have a sec?
What's up?
(FIRE CRACKLES)
Oh, my God.
Oh, my
Zoe, will you go to the
Jellyfish Jam with me?
- I'd love to.
- Cool.
(CROWD CHEER)
Now that's how you do it.
Did you need something, Kai?
Uh
Yeah, yeah, I just, I just
wanted to, say hi, so
Howdy.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(GIRLS GIGGLE)
Hey, Dad. I'm gonna
need your help after all.
BENNY: Look to your left.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Dr. Lee says I'm a black cloud.
You guys don't think that's true, right?
Come on. Really?
That week without cookies
almost made me quit.
- Thanks for the support.
- DR. LEE: All right.
Dr. Kamealoha, time for
you to captain the floor.
I left my car running out
front so I can get out of here
before everything goes to hell.
(SIGHS) I'm not a black cloud.
And I'm gonna prove it tonight.
- Hmm.
- DR. LEE: We'll see.
And your shift starts
in three, two, one.
You see? Everything's fine.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
Yeah.
(WHISPERS) Black cloud.
(MACHINE BEEPING)
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
I'm gonna fix it.
You guys came to spy on me?
Of course not. They came to
spy. I came for the apple napple.
Hey. How's it hanging, BP?
Nails, I knew that pyro
work out there had to be you.
Great job.
Okay, when we get home, we're
having a very long conversation.
Okay, guys, I'm gonna need some help.
You saw what just happened out there.
I can't just ask Steph to the dance now.
She's expecting something big.
Okay, what are the rough
dimensions of the parking lot
and does Steph have any
allergies or serious phobias?
Kai, you you don't need our help.
She's been in love with you forever.
Not anymore. I messed it all up.
Just be yourself and ask her.
(BOTH SNORT)
- What?
- Maybe leave
the romance stuff to the pros, hon.
Yeah, I think we know what women want.
Now, can you be a doll
and get me a refill?
Extra ice?
Ooh, all right, sir.
But I guess the monsters under your
bed can read you to sleep tonight.
(GULPS)
Gecko in the fuse box.
We should be fine now.
Everyone on the floor is stable.
Okay, nothing else can go wrong
tonight. So here's the plan.
We're gonna do constant rounds,
double and triple check everything.
I feel the clouds moving in.
Yup. Storm's a-brewin'.
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
Wow.
Second time in the past 45 minutes.
You are either really nervous about
this whole black cloud thing or
Somebody has a crush on me ♪
I have a boyfriend, remember?
Yeah, I've seen him
on your Insta and here.
So what does he have against shirts?
And also, why is he always kissing
you on the head like he's the pope?
And why is he so angry at the
ocean? I thought he loved it.
Lean back and relax your arm.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Oh, okay.
In this interview, he says, "my
favorite reading material is paper."
- He did not say that.
- No, he didn't.
But the fact you had to double-check
that tells us both something.
That's very funny.
Now, I promised your physical therapist
I would have you up and
walking tonight, okay?
So, make sure you get your 10
laps in before you go to sleep.
Can I read and walk?
Knock yourself out.
You see, if I was a black cloud,
I would not be saying
that to my patient.
Oh, well, then it's
a good thing I'm not.
Goodbye, Captain.
While I like where your head's at,
we don't have the time to turn the
parking lot into a skating rink.
Not with that attitude we don't.
- Well, where would we even get the ice?
- You own a shave ice truck.
- Interesting.
- I don't know about any of this, guys.
Dad, how did you first ask Mom out?
Oh, you wanna hear how I
became the King of Romance.
Well, I just assumed that you started
calling yourself that until it stuck.
No.
Well, yes, but it all started
in the med school library.
BENNY: I had the biggest
crush on your mom.
She was smart, beautiful,
funny, and always studying.
A princess being held hostage
by the evils of medical school.
And I was her knight in shining denim.
(HORSE SNORTS)
Wo (SOFT CHUCKLE)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
Benny, what are you doing?
I heard you like your coffee
like you like your men.
On a horse.
(GIGGLES)
- ALL: Aww.
- (CLARA EXHALES DEEPLY)
- So baller!
- Mm-hmm.
But I would have guessed
you serenaded her, too.
Oh, I did. With the most
romantic song I knew.
Come my lady, come, come my lady ♪
You're my butterfly sugar baby ♪
Come my lady, come, come my lady ♪
- You're my ♪
- Stop right there.
Don't say another word.
I'll go out with you.
ALL: Aww.
- (HORSE NEIGHS)
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
You-are-a-god. Okay,
just tell me what to do.
Okay. So, the keys to a grand,
romantic gesture are two-fold.
The entrance and the presentation.
I made an entrance on a horse
and it was surprising, bold
Did the horse poop in the library?
Who can remember?
Seems like something you would
I could ride in on my Vespa.
Perfect. And now the presentation.
I brought your mom a coffee
to help her with her studying.
So, Kai, what can you offer Steph?
I don't know.
She loves Zippy's chili spaghetti.
Now we're getting somewhere.
A chili girl. She just
keeps getting hotter.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
Oh, how's Mr. Lincoln?
Hm. He wants to set me up
with his 60-year-old neighbor
who "loves Broadway."
- But his BGs back down to 128.
- Great. Check again in an hour.
I don't want anything
going wrong on my watch.
Aye, aye, Captain.
Something wrong with
one of your patients?
None of your business,
and shouldn't you be in your
room resting up for tomorrow?
I seem to remember a
certain doctor telling me
that I should be up
and moving around, so
Where to next, Cap?
(SIGHS)
Have you ever tried
roasting your patients?
I mean, like, really making fun of them?
- Why would I do that?
- Laughter is the best medicine.
Medicine is the best medicine.
Okay, look, there's
Mr. Stevens, all right?
Tell him that his mustache makes him
look like he has a woman
tied to train tracks.
Oh, that should definitely
unclog his arteries.
Hi, Mr. Stevens.
Okay. Oh, all right.
Back to your boyfriend.
Now, what do you see in Walter?
I don't think that's your concern.
I mean, no disrespect,
but you are basically the
smartest person I've ever met.
And he's a surfer bro.
He's not just a surfer bro.
Oh, okay. All right.
"What is your favorite
thing to do to unwind?"
"Surf." He surfs to unwind from surfing.
Okay, Mr. Judgey. And
who are you dating again?
Not your concern.
Oh, so, now you don't want to talk.
Because I haven't noticed
any girls coming to visit you.
In fact, I haven't noticed
anyone coming to visit you at all.
- Okay, okay.
- It's like, knock, knock.
Who's there? Nobody.
Um Yeah. Cool.
No, Nico, wait. We were playing around.
You were teasing me about
being a black cloud, I
Gordon, are you messing with me?
(GORDON GRUNTS)
I need a rapid response team.
(GORDON GROANS)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Code Blue. All
nurses to the nurse's station.
- Okay.
- All nurses to the nurse's station.
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
Kai's on the move.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
BRIAN: Target at two o'clock.
Looking cute as can be.
Kai looks a little unsteady.
Oops.
It's the chili spaghetti.
(SCOFFS)
Hey, Steph.
(GRUNTING)
(CLARA GASPS)
(ALL GROAN)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
That was the most embarrassing
thing I've ever seen.
My baby boy!
Mama's coming!
I stand corrected.
You're gonna be okay, Gordon.
Okay. What do we got?
Sixty-year-old male with
acute onset chest pain.
I think he's having an MI.
We need to get an EKG stat.
What? This is how I always
dress outside of work.
Well, you were right, Doogie.
You're a real white cloud.
Our fatal flaw was not getting
a to-go container for the chili.
Your fatal flaw was not just asking
Steph out like a normal person.
Well, I wanted it to be special.
Like the first time Dad asked you out.
You know, the kind of thing
that she'd remember forever.
Oh, she'll remember this.
Kai, your dad asking me out was special.
Just not in the way he thinks.
(PLAYFUL MUSIC)
Oh, Benny, what are you doing?
I heard you like your horsemen coffee.
Here's your cup of horse.
- (EXCLAIMS)
- (HESITATES)
Come my lady, come, come my lady ♪
- You're my butterfly sugar baby ♪
- Man.
- Come, my lady.
- Stop right there.
Don't say another word.
I'll go out with you.
- What?
- I'll go out with you!
Giddy-up!
Forward, Cinnamon.
(NEIGHS, SNORTS)
I always thought that was
the moment you fell for me.
Are you kidding?
What's romantic about a
horse relieving himself
all over my neuroscience textbook?
I knew it.
The moment I fell for Dad,
was actually very simple.
And then, I don't know, probably
work at a hospital in Philly.
- I've never been. Is it nice?
- Um
They filmed the movie
Rocky there. And Mannequin.
- Andrew McCarthy.
- Yeah.
Gum?
Watermelon.
That's my favorite.
Oh, is it?
I had no idea.
(GIGGLES)
Wait, Dad never chews gum.
Can never resist the urge to swallow it.
But I love gum, and this sweet man
started carrying it just for me.
See, what matters most
are those small things
that show you really care.
- You care about Steph, right?
- Yeah.
Just tell her that and
everything will work out.
Thanks, Mom.
I'm gonna do it.
How do I look?
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(LIGHT MUSIC)
- This is my favorite spot.
- Oh, yeah?
I like it because that
statue kinda looks like
A butt?
Well, I was gonna say, it looks
like the Italian sculpture,
the Venus Callipyge.
Oh.
No, I'm just kidding.
I was totally gonna say
it looks like a butt.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
I'm sorry about what I said before.
You know, I was joking,
but I, I went too far.
Which is exactly why I
shouldn't be roasting anyone, so.
Yeah. You're not wrong.
I mean, nobody ever comes to visit me,
not even the night before
a major medical thing.
What about your family?
Well, my dad split when I was young.
And when my mom's not in rehab,
she's nowhere to be found.
My aunt took me in and she's great,
but she has to work all
the time to make ends meet.
That sounds hard.
(SCOFFS) Yeah.
I mean, besides my aunt, nobody
cares what happens to me, so
No, that's not true.
I care.
And so do a lot of
people in the hospital.
Thanks, Doc.
I guess sometimes I need
to hear that stuff, so
You're welcome.
Would you look at that?
Your first shift as
captain is officially over.
- Congratulations.
- Oh, don't congratulate me.
Today was a total disaster.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Dr. Lee was right. I am a black cloud.
Well, you know, maybe all
this crazy stuff happens to you
because unlike everybody
else, you can handle it.
The universe trusts you to
take care of other people.
You are not a black cloud at all.
You are the sun that comes out after.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
Hey.
Are you okay? That was
a pretty nasty fall.
Not as nasty as when I threw a full
plate of chili spaghetti at you.
It wasn't all bad. Some got
in my mouth. It's so good.
I knew it was your favorite.
So, what was that all about, anyway?
I don't know. I guess
I just got caught up
in everyone making these big
Jellyfish Jam proposals, and
I wanted mine to be just as special
when I asked you.
- You were gonna ask me to the dance?
- Yeah.
Wow.
I've waited a long time for that.
Like really long.
Like, so long, I have
clothes that have gone out
and come back in style
while I was waiting.
I know.
And I'm so sorry.
You were right in front of me
the whole time, and I was blind.
But I see it now. I see you now, Steph.
And I think you're amazing.
So, would you maybe wanna go
to the Jellyfish Jam with me?
No.
Not because I don't want to, but
it's just while your
mom was fixing you up,
Spyder came over to help me clean
up the chili, and he asked me.
And I said yes.
Wow, that's
that's cool.
Yeah, Spyder's a fun guy.
You guys will have a great time.
Well, ciao.
Ciao?
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(GROANS)
- How's Gordon?
- He's gonna be okay.
Aww. Now, give me that pin
before there's a Sharknado.
Congrats on your first
captain shift, Doogie.
I'd love to say something
nice to you right now,
but I don't want anyone to hear it.
It sets a bad precedent,
so, I'll text you.
Well, now that your shift is up,
why don't I take you to my
favorite spot in the hospital?
- The roof.
- What are you talking about?
There's no access to the roof.
- Go. Go.
- Let's go.
Hey, Stefan.
(MELLOW MUSIC)
I forget the number ♪
Something I don't recall ♪
It's folded up somewhere distant ♪
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
I can keep a secret ♪
Promise it's in a vault ♪
I know it's nobody's fault ♪
Some things never end ♪
Others in past tense ♪
Asked myself ♪
What do you think?
(LAHELA SIGHS)
Do you come here a lot?
Well, it beats watching the
stars from a hospital bed.
Under a spell ♪
Scared it's all in my head ♪
Don't worry 'bout them ♪
- Which ones happen again? ♪
- (SIGHS)
It feels like everyone wants to
see the world in black and white.
I'm sorry, Kai.
I'm not gonna give up.
Steph's worth fighting for.
LAHELA: But that's not how it works.
(LAUGHS)
Some things that seem
bad can actually be good.
- Think he'll be okay?
- He'll figure it out.
After all, his dad is
the King of Romance.
(CHUCKLES)
Gum?
And some things that seem
good can actually be bad.
In the moment, it can be hard to tell.
But it all comes down to what you want.
This is really beautiful.
Yeah, it is.
Which won't happen again ♪
WALTER: Lahela's awesome boyfriend.
Lahela's awesome boyfriend.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
I'm so sorry. I'm supposed
to be with Walter right now.
Really?
Because I think you're right
where you're supposed to be.
LAHELA: So
what do I want?
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
Asked myself ♪
Does it happen again ♪
Can it happen again ♪
Under a spell ♪
Scared it's all in my head ♪
Don't worry about them ♪
Which won't happen again ♪
KIDS: Mom.
(MAN GRUNTS)