Ghosts (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

1
- Hey.
- JAY: Hey, babe.
- I'm making shakshuka.
- Oh, smells good.
Oh, paprika?
You got to warn a guy.
Hey, you know that huge tree
at the edge of the
property, the really old one?
I heard the neighbors
are gonna cut it down.
What? But that's been
there for centuries.
Who cuts down a beautiful tree?
When I was a girl, I
would while away afternoons
in its glorious shade.
I was even married under that tree.
You know what, cut it down.
We could protest.
In my day, we were always protesting
to protect the environment.
Once, I took acid to
save the snow leopards.
Wait, are there still snow leopards?
- Yeah.
- You're welcome.
Thor not understand. Is just one tree.
So many more like it.
There's one there.
And there. And there.
He's gonna point out
every tree, isn't he?
Sam, you have to do something. Please.
Okay, I will go talk to the neighbors,
see if there's some way
we can save the tree.
There's another large one there.
- Oh, that's a telephone pole.
- It same!
Okay.
♪
TREVOR: Hey, Thor.
You like Flower, right?
Yes, but Flower not ready
for two-person commitment.
And Pete too cowardly
and selfish to be third.
Oh, sorry, big guy.
But that commitment
stuff is just an excuse.
It means she doesn't like you enough.
Yet.
She's giving you an opening
with this environmentalism stuff.
What do you mean, "opening"?
Chicks like it when you're into
the stuff that they're into.
Like, when I was alive,
there was this nail
polish brand that had
all these clever names
for different colors.
Like, Make Your Mauve
and Orange You Cuticle.
Anyway, I memorized all of them.
And when I saw some hottie at a bar,
I would correctly guess
which one she had on,
and boom, I was in.
You see what I'm saying?
You mean that if Thor take interest
in thing Flower into, like trees,
then Flower fall in love with Thor?
That's what I'm talking about. Yes!
Yes, Thor think Trevor very wise man.
Thank you. Can you start
telling people that?
Because I say smart things,
but people can't get past the
fact that I'm not wearing pants.
You are like Odin
wisest god if Odin's butt cheeks
always visible every time he bend over.
Okay. I'm out.
Hi! We're your neighbors.
- I'm Sam, and this is my husband, Jay.
- Hi.
Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm-I'm June and this is Ally.
And this is our arborist Ted.
- Hi there.
- Hello, Ted.
The June and Ally?
As in, Cover Crop Farms?
That's us.
They're, like, the biggest
organic farmers in the area.
(STAMMERING) I'm geeking out.
Sam, can we get to the tree, please?
Anyway. The reason
we came to talk to you
is because we really love this tree,
and we were hoping to
talk you into keeping it.
Yeah, we love the
tree, too, but Ted says
it probably won't live that much longer,
unfortunately, so we're
- we're cutting it down.
- FLOWER: Boo!
Although I support your
women-owned business,
but boo to the tree thing!
Well, aren't there things
you could do to help the tree?
Listen, we just don't want
it to damage our work shed.
Tell them the tree has special
significance to the Lenape.
The thing is, this tree actually has
special significance
to the native Lenape.
Really? Well, why do you think that?
See those markings? I made those, Sam.
For one thing, those markings
are definitely Lenape.
Really?
The marks represent the 13 dialects
of the Lenape language.
Uh, yes, they represent the 13
dialects of the Lenape language.
How-how do you know that?
Uh, 'cause my best friend is Lenape.
- Oh!
- What the hell, man?
- So now Sass is your best friend?
- (SCOFFS)
I mean, my good friend.
I have a lot of friends
who I like equally.
- Okay.
- Okay.
The point is, this tree
is just really important.
No one loves nature and
respects indigenous people
- more than we do.
- Mm-hmm.
But this tree needs to come down.
And that's not us saying it. That's Ted.
He gets paid, like, two
grand to make these calls.
So
Rich and handsome.
If only he were dead.
THORFINN: Oh, uh, hi there, Flower.
Oh, hey, Thor.
So, how about the environment, huh?
- What about it?
- Just listing things
that I deeply care about,
like the environment.
- So you like Thor better now?
- What?
It's just that, um,
Thor like what you like,
and oftentimes that leads
to woman being happy.
Okay, well, you haven't
actually said anything
about the environment.
Like, what specifically
are you concerned about?
Um
Thor like your nails. Yes.
and, uh, recognize color.
Orange You Cuticle.
I think that's blood
from when I tried to fend off the bear.
Yes, well, it's working.
- Mm.
- Cool.
I'm gonna
- walk into another room now.
- That's
(GRUNTS)
I'm so bummed about the tree.
Well, isn't there anything you
can do to change their minds?
In my day, if one wanted change,
one would put pen to parchment.
It was my letters that
inspired the public
to demand a second watering
trough outside the statehouse.
Hamilton wrote 51 Federalist Papers
and saved the Constitution.
Just to further prove your point.
Thank you, Peter.
The ghosts are suggesting
that I write an op-ed
to put the pressure on June and Ally.
Write your way out. Like Hamilton.
Oh, come on.
Okay, I have a lot of ideas.
And it's gonna be a really great op-ed,
but I'm gonna need
some time to write it.
Babe
Which means somebody has to make sure
they don't cut the tree
down in the meantime.
Absolutely not.
Hey, guys. I'm so sorry about this
and I hope it doesn't
affect our friendship. Oh!
I can see your sunchokes from up here.
They look great, so congrats on those.
- So, how'd it go?
- Great. I pitched the op-ed
to The Ulster County
Review and they loved it.
They're publishing it
on their website tonight.
Babe, that's amazing.
- Thanks.
- Champagne.
Oh, I don't need any.
I do. I was in a tree all day.
SASAPPIS: The Ulster County Review.
So did you see anybody
else while you were there?
Any 500-year-old female
Lenape ghosts, perhaps?
Hmm. Could you be more specific?
Sam, just tell me.
Yes, I did see Shiki.
Oh, hey. So funny running into you.
Really? I've been
here hundreds of years.
Had to think there was a decent chance.
No, I mean because I'm actually writing
an op-ed that would interest you.
Just working on a pitch. So nervous.
- She says hi.
- Oh. Nice.
I mean, that's cool, uh, no big deal.
You know? Either way
would have been fine.
And I'm cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Get a hold of yourself, man.
Sorry.
Oh, dear, two men hunched
over Samantha's lap computer.
I know better than to look
at what's on that screen.
Relax, it's a bunch of nature stuff.
Picture of a baby seal.
I don't care what you're
into, you deviants.
No, Trevor help Thor look up stuff
about environment to impress Flower.
We have cut forests, dirty
seabirds, a river on fire.
(CHUCKLES) That one
actually pretty cool.
It says here the ocean heating up
is threatening marine life.
Cod lives in ocean.
And also herring lives in ocean.
And salmon. And haddock and
Now he's gonna name all
the fishes, isn't he?
They are in danger due to hot oceans.
- Very bad!
- (SCOFFS) I'm confused.
Now you actually care
about the environment?
What began as mission
to win one woman's heart
has morphed into mission
to save the planet!
Now, if I wanted to look up
"stable boys "
is that in there?
Uh, Sam, why is Jay just
hanging out in the kitchen?
Yeah, who's watching the tree?
Oh, don't worry, I have Isaac
over there acting as lookout.
If anybody comes to do anything
He'll scream silently
and invisibly at them.
He will come and tell us.
Babe, good news!
Your article is trending.
Well, I mean, locally.
In between "missing cow"
and "weatherman with a secret family."
- Nice!
- Well, not for the cow's owner
or the weatherman's wife,
but sure, enjoy your moment.
I don't understand. What
does this mean, "trending"?
It means we're turning the
pressure up on June and Ally.
Now everybody will know
that they're trying to destroy
a piece of Lenape history.
Cool.
- Move him, please.
- Jay, move.
I have news from the
front. The op-ed worked.
Sam has rallied the public
who now march in protest.
Jay, people are protesting at the tree.
We got to go check it out.
Wow. This is becoming a big deal, huh?
Hell yeah, it is.
The power of the pen
it's mightier than the sword.
Not if it's a plus-two magic sword.
Those are pretty powerful.
- What?
- It's a D and D thing.
You don't deserve Jay.
Everything okay?
I would have expected you to
be a little more excited, no?
Yeah. I mean, it's good, you know?
- Save the Lenape tree.
- ALBERTA: Sass?
- What's going on?
- All right.
Um
I may have exaggerated
the tree being
significant to the Lenape.
I mean, it's significant to me,
and I'm Lenape, so in that sense
- You lied?
- Yep, uh-huh.
So what is the significance of the tree?
Um
you promise you won't make fun of me?
You have our word.
It's my Shiki tree.
So, when I was alive,
I would make a mark
every time we had an encounter.
"Encounter", like, times you did it?
No
- Made out?
- Not exactly.
Uh, it's the times that she
said hi to me.
Oy gevalt.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hi!
I think it's sweet.
I mean, sad and pathetic,
but also so sweet.
This is sick.
"Hi's"? You don't mark down "hi's."
And this is why I
didn't want to share it.
You got to tell Sam the truth, Sass.
Do I? So some protesters showed up.
So what? Maybe they'll save a tree.
Isn't that a good thing?
- That's true.
- Well, maybe, I guess.
So was "hi" like a more
sexual thing back then?
- And I'm done.
- TREVOR: Buddy, no!
What am I missing?
I want to be on your side!
MAN: And once you got all
that dirt up to the surface
- How long you watch TV?
- (BOTH SHUSHING)
Uses much electricity.
Bad for environment.
(SCREAMING)
Hey! We were watching that!
Dude! Not cool.
What not cool is wasting energy.
Really, Thor? This is getting tiresome.
You are becoming the party
guest who overindulges
in cocaine and traps one in the corner,
going on and on about
Gilbert and Sullivan.
That was you. I was there, as ghost.
Well, then allow me to
be your cautionary tale.
Dude, you need to relax.
Relax? Sort of like how
you relax on private jet,
spewing toxins into the
air on way to spring break?
That was legendary.
We went to a foam party
on South Padre Island.
And, you, worst of all.
Industrial Revolution
start of everything.
Thor read about dark seductress,
buried deep within the Earth.
Her name is
coal.
We did get really into coal.
Both of you lived selfish
lives, endangered Earth.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Dude, I hear you. But have you
seen a stewardess on a private jet?
We're talking 1 Oak
bottle service level.
And not Wednesdays.
Weekend 1 Oak.
(GRUMBLES)
(CHANTING): Protect Lenape culture!
Protect Lenape culture!
Protect Lenape culture!
It's so good to be protesting again.
Flower, boundary.
Whoa.
Look at all these people.
Hey, uh, guys.
Hi. (CHUCKLES)
I know this is a bit much, but we all
just really care about the tree.
We can tell.
PROTESTOR: Support Sam, she's a hero!
Oh, come on, I don't know about hero.
(CHUCKLES) I mean, I was the
one who climbed up in the tree.
Don't see a lot of Jay signs.
(CHANTING CONTINUING)
- Hi.
- Hi.
My name is Bob. I'm with the Hudson
Valley Lenape Cultural Center.
Oh, hi.
You're the author of the op-ed?
I am. And honestly,
I was happy to do it.
Well, the thing is, I'm afraid
you might not have all
your facts straight.
(GASPS) Really?
BOB: Well, as you note
in your article, you said
these markings represent the
13 dialects of the Lenape.
That's correct.
The Lenape language only
has two modern dialects.
It's possible that we
might've had more in the past,
but nowhere near 13.
I hate to quibble with you, Bob,
but I do have it on
pretty good authority
that there were 13 dialects.
Right. And I'm telling
you that's not the case.
Sass, you got to get in there.
She's about to back down. It'll be fine.
It's cool that he knows
this stuff though, isn't it?
Look, I appreciate that you come
from a place of experience, but
Uh, sorry, just to, uh, just to clarify,
uh, so you're telling, uh, Bob here,
who, uh just checking
- is Lenape?
- That's right.
You're telling that guy,
that he doesn't know
what he's talking about?
Well (CHUCKLES) I'm
Hey, just a heads up, this is
starting to look a little Karen-y.
- Sass!
- Okay, fine.
I know the optics on this aren't great,
and I don't have an
explanation for how I know this,
but you have to trust me.
So I made up all the stuff
about the 13 dialects.
When I say I want to humbly apologize.
(PROTESTERS BOOING)
(CHANTING): Down with Woodstone!
Down with Karen! Down with Woodstone!
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Down with Karen
Woodstone B and B, are you canceling
for the reason I think you are?
Totally get it. Have a great day.
Down with Karen! Down with
Silver bird in sky, killer of cod,
I curse thee to Niflheim!
Hey, Thor, could I talk
to you for a second?
(LAUGHS) Yeah, just
yelling at silver bird.
Cool, cool.
So, listen, I think it is so great
that you want to turn
people on to the environment,
but you can't just make everyone
feel bad about themselves.
Why not?
Well, when we protested
the war in Vietnam, we didn't
just yell at people all day.
We went to music festivals
and did lots of drugs.
You see what I mean?
Thor not good at drugs. When alive,
drink tea of stinking henbane
and instead of having rapturous visions,
Thor just get worried no one like Thor.
I'm saying we had a movement,
which people wanted to be a part of.
You can't just
yell at people, you
have to inspire them.
Yes. Like when executing
Danes in countryside,
leave one alive to
tell tales of brutality.
You mean like that?
Okay, I'm gonna say yes,
'cause I don't want to
hear any more examples,
but I'm sure you'll
figure something out.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Figuring it out.
- All right.
So the protestors are finally gone,
but not before I had
to profusely apologize
for being brazenly ignorant
about Lenape culture.
What the hell, Sasappis?
Why did you lie to me?
I'm sorry, Sam, but it wasn't all a lie.
The tree is important.
It was there when I was alive,
and I did make those marks.
Okay, so what do they really mean?
They represent the 13 times
that Shiki said "hi" to me.
What's going on?
The markings were every
time Shiki said "hi" to Sass.
Really?
Just "hi"?
Okay, I'm not proud of it.
Why didn't you tell me?
I thought if you knew
what they actually meant,
you wouldn't think they were important,
and you wouldn't help
me protect the tree.
- It is my unfortunate duty to inform you
- Tree dead!
Yes, I was trying to be more delicate,
but, yes, tree dead.
(SIGHS) Wow, it's really gone.
So were "hi's" more
significant back then?
Shh.
Thor been here a thousand years.
Many things that were
once here, plentiful,
now gone.
Not blaming Sam even
though she use blow dryer
entire hour every day.
You're right, Thor.
It's all gone.
You know, I don't
think it was just about
the markings that I made
on that tree. It's that
everything's gone.
My people were pushed out.
I watched all of it happen.
And that tree was the last
thing left from when I was alive.
And now it's gone, too.
I wish there was something we could do.
Need to inspire.
What's that?
Thor think Thor have idea.
It's just hard to have much hope
when it's presented like that.
So, what is this?
What do y'all want to do?
Sass, oldest friend.
We can't bring back what you've lost.
But from the past is born the future.
These are seeds from the tree.
June and Ally gave them to us.
So, from your tree
will blossom many new trees.
And your tree of friendship
with Shiki will now be whole area
of friendship.
Sort of a friend zone
is what you're saying?
- Yes, friend zone.
- (CAR APPROACHES, STOPS)
Well put.
Oh, God.
- No better place to be.
- (CAR DOORS OPEN, CLOSE)
Samantha, a man approaches.
Oh, hey, it's Bob.
- Hey, Bob.
- We invited Bob over
to do a land acknowledgement.
It's a way that we can honor the Lenape,
who lived right here on this land.
It's just a small gesture
so that we can keep
their presence alive here.
Who are you guys explaining this to?
Oh, uh, each other.
Yep. We like to explain
things to each other.
(LAUGHS) God love these dummies.
Okay, well, uh,
I kind of have a lunch
thing I got to get to.
Right, sorry. Go ahead.
That's the thing, a-a land
acknowledgment isn't something
for me to do. It's
something for you to do.
I already know about our history.
Bob rocks.
It's up to you, who now want to live
and work on this land,
to honor and acknowledge
that sometimes difficult history.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
I'll give it a shot.
As we build our lives
and our business here,
we want to acknowledge that this is
the ancestral land of the Lenape.
They have taken care of
this land for generations,
and it is an honor to
continue that tradition.
(SPEAKS LENAPE) Thank you, Sam.
If you'd like, I could do a
traditional welcome, in-in Lenape.
Yeah, we'd love that.
(SPEAKING LENAPE)
BOTH: We are glad because you
people come to Lenapehoking.
Live well while you are here.
Thank you.
That was beautiful, Bob.
- It's been a pleasure, yeah.
- Thank you.
We will watch these trees grow
together, my oldest friend.
Yep, we're not going anywhere.
- (GRUNTS)
- Thanks, bud.
Yeah.
Friend zone!
- ALL (CHANTING): Friend zone! Friend zone!
- Stop!
- Friend zone! Friend zone!
- Stop! Okay!
- Friend zone
- Okay
Thor.
I thought it was really cool,
what you did with Sass' Friend Zone.
(GROANS) That name's sticking, isn't it?
You did something for the environment,
but you also did it in a
way that inspired people.
I'm impressed.
It was nothing.
Me, too, Thor, especially
because it won't even affect you.
It's Jay and my kids and their kids
that are gonna have to deal with
all this climate change stuff.
Wait, are you pregnant? Did
Jay's seed find purchase?
Am I about to be a great-great-
great-great-great-aunt?
No. I just meant because Thor's a ghost,
so his life isn't gonna change
because of drought or rising sea levels.
In a way, I'd almost think you'd
want climate change to happen faster.
The sooner the Livings kill themselves,
the sooner the Earth
goes back to normal.
Wait, this is so true.
This is not Thor's problem at all.
Samantha, Thor change mind.
Climate change great
thing. Keep up good work.
Get the Livings to die faster
to usher in glorious new era!
- Oh, no, no.
- Yes!
(LAUGHING)
- He's blowing it, isn't he?
- Yeah.
But I probably won't remember it,
so he's still got a chance.