Gintama (2005) s02e04 Episode Script

Stress Makes You Bald, but It's Stressful to Avoid Stress, So You End Up Stressed Out Anyway, So in the End There's Nothing You Can Do

"Land of the Samurai.
" The days when our country was called that are long past Hey, what's with that? Makes it seem like a rerun A viewer who just started watching said they didn't understand what was going on.
They should buy the original comics or the DVD.
That's right.
It's a business opportunity.
What's with that?! Women and anime are more appealing if they're a bit mysterious.
So, the people who don't understand should do something on their own.
This anime's hopeless.
[Spring is the season of new beginnings.
People marry, start new jobs.]
[To those people, we offer the following words: "Life is like a soap bubble.
".]
["Stress Makes You Bald, but It's Stressful to Avoid Stress, so You End Up Stressed Out Anyway, so in the End There's Nothing You Can Do".]
What is right? What is wrong? In this mixed-up world deciding what is right and wrong is not easy.
You can't just go by somebody else's rules.
If you let yourself be controlled like that you'll just become a puppet that can't make decisions on its own.
In the end, the only choice is to decide for yourself.
You have to live by your own rules.
It should be okay to put JUMP with the combustible trash.
Reading it always lights my fire.
You're the only thing that's on fire! I keep telling you that magazines go out with Wednesday's recyclable trash! When are you ever going to learn how to separate your trash? You throw everything in the combustible trash pile! I hate non-combustible trash! What's non-combustible, anyway? That makes it sound like this won't burn! This can be burned! Those sanitation workers are just too lazy to do it.
You some kind of overzealous teacher or something?! Anyway, take that back home with you.
Recently, there've been a lot of arsons at trash collection sites, so they're much stricter with the rules.
What a pain.
Oh well, then.
Maybe I'll just use it for toilet paper Huh? Hey, whoa! A fire? Here? That hag! She tossed her cigarette! This is bad! Water! Water! No water! Pull yourself together, pal.
You can do this Believe in yourself You can do it Caught you in the act at last! Serial arsonist.
Now that I, Tatsumi of the ME team, have found you, don't expect to escape with your life!! [Note: ME team is a play on ME-gumi no Tatsugoro of "Abarenbo Shogun.
".]
Excuse me, please stop staring.
[ME-Team HQ.]
I'm trying to tell you.
I was just trying to put out the fire with my "holy water.
" Stop lying, you perverted arsonist! Showing me your filthy thing! You've traumatized me, you perv! You know, this experience will only make you stronger.
I don't want to hear that from the guy who traumatized me! You mustn't be so passive about it! When you saw my crotch, you became a live witness to a man in battle! Think positive! Damn you.
Don't make fun of me just because I'm a woman! From the day I became a firefighter, I rolled up my gender in a wad of tissues and threw it in the trash, you jerk.
Then seeing a crotch or two shouldn't be a problem at all! Just wrap it up in a tissue and throw it away! It was embarrassing for me, too, you know.
[Note: The scroll reads: "Don't play with fire".]
This isn't about you! This is about arson! Like I told you, I didn't do it! This was the only liquid I had! Get away from there, dammit! What's going on? You sure are noisy.
I was resting up so I'd be ready in case of an emergency.
Keep quiet, stupid! Everyone! I captured the arsonist! Probably the wrong one again, right? You've hauled in eight innocent people this week alone.
Enough of this "Nancy Drew" crap.
Don't you ever do anything foolish like trying to catch the arsonist again, idiot.
A firefighter's job is to also prevent fires! I'm positive he's the one! He was setting fires at a trash pickup site just like the arsonist.
Fire at the tofu shop at 3-chome.
Origin appears to be a trash pickup area next to the store.
Proceed immediately.
Repeat.
Fire at the tofu shop at 3-chome Okay! Guys, let's roll! Right! That can't be I told you.
I told you.
Tatsumi I realize you're a woman trying as hard as you can to keep up with the guys.
But you're chasing your own tail! By the time you realize you've been blown around by the winds of life, it'll be too late.
So don't try to live the same life we lead.
Telling me that won't change my mind! Then let me convince you.
A woman can't be a firefighter.
Wha? I called your home.
Your family should be coming to get you soon.
Huh? That wasn't necessary! Sorry.
My mistake got you into this mess.
Don't worry about it.
I showed you something embarrassing, so let's call it even.
Damn you! Since we met, all you've talked about is your crotch! Man, you are a weird guy.
Hey, where're you going? To catch the arsonist, of course.
I'm not the type to give up just because something like this happened.
You don't give up.
Don't blame me when you vanish like a soap bubble being blown around by the wind.
Shut up! Someday I'll be the greatest firefighter in Edo.
I won't let those clowns or an arsonist defeat me! You good-for-nothing son! Where did you learn to play with fire?! That's not how we brought you up!! Come on, stop that, Kagura-chan! What're you doing? He'll die! You're killing him! Hey! Men are soap bubbles! I'm disgusted with you! You're just like your father, aren't you?! Hey! Hey! Kagura-chan, where'd you come up with those lines? "The city that never sleeps: Edo Hacchobori: 24 hours.
" It's a quote from "Battle of the Pickpocket vs.
The G-men.
" Spare me the quote! You learn nothing but the strangest things! You can forget about growing up into a decent adult! Yo-chan! Check out the weirdo! What're you doing messing around back here? Be good little boys and go away for a while.
I'm busy right now, you know Sitting inside a trashcan? What are you, an idiot?! Cut it out, you brats! You want to go back inside your mother's womb?! You want to soak in amniotic fluid again?! You can stay in there till ya rot! Idiot! Idiot! I'll remember this! I swear I'll shave off all your hair! Idiots! Dammit.
Those brats.
The arsonist's fires have all been set at trash pickup sites in Kabukicho.
Instead of running about aimlessly, I'd have better luck catching the culprit by waiting patiently in one location.
Don't blame me when you vanish like a soap bubble being blown around by the wind.
Damn I'm not getting blown around because I want to.
Poor kid Lost both parents, I hear.
I wonder how she's going to make it at her age.
If you're so worried, why don't you take her in? Don't be silly.
We haven't got the money to afford that.
Hey You there, we went through the trouble to save your life.
At least look happy, you dummy.
If you can't do that, then at least lash out at me.
Lash out and say, "It's your fault my mom and dad are dead!" Bastard.
Why'd you have to save me? You should've let me die with my parents.
Fool! Don't you ever say that again.
What? You're going to take in that brat? What're you thinking, Chief?! You gonna take in every child who's orphaned by fire, now?! There'll be no end to it! Shut up! Leave me alone, idiot! Don't tell me that! Brat.
From this day on, the ME team is your home.
We firefighters are like a big family, so adding one little brat isn't a big deal.
But remember, even if one brat disappears, there's someone here who'll be sad about it.
Dang! I fell asleep! All quiet on the western front.
Yo Sweet dreams, Sis? YouWhy?! Ow ow ow ow The arsonist has caused me trouble, too.
I can't clear out my JUMP, you see.
And besides I wanted to see how high a soap bubble riding on the wind could fly.
You mean No question about it.
That's the arsonist What makes you say that? A guy who lives an honest life wouldn't be sneaking around like that.
You're sneaking around! It's not enough that he's sneaking around; he's got shifty eyes, too! Scary! I'm scared! Shut up! Huh? Wait a minute I know that emblem! Hey, isn't that the bald guy from your place? Chief What's he doing here? Enough of this "Nancy Drew" crap.
Don't you ever do anything foolish like trying to catch the arsonist, idiot.
It can't be! Chief wouldn't! Maybe I shouldn't throw them away, after all.
I do like this one a lot.
Looks like he came to throw away his porno mags.
Ack! Tatsumi! What the hell are you doing here?! What about you? You came all this way to throw away your filthy magazines?! You've got it all wrong! I came to throw away my JUMP! Don't lie to me! That's a lame excuse! Tell me about it.
I hope I don't turn out like this creepy old guy.
Hey! You're already on your way.
You're already soaked hip-deep.
I've got a lot of adolescent kids at home, so I can't bring these back with me.
Idiot! Teenagers need this stuff more than anyone! Society doesn't need people like you jerks!! More importantly, what are you doing here? Not poking your nose where it doesn't belong again I'm not gonna quit No matter what some porno reading geezer tells me! Quit, dammit! Don't you realize nobody wants a little girl like you involved in this? Stop calling me a little girl.
I grew up watching you firefighters.
I can help.
Whatever it was you grew up watching, I don't recall raising you to be a firefighter.
Fire can turn even the most precious things into ashes in an instant.
You know better than anyone how frightening it is Firefighters don't just battle the flames.
The weight of all those burned up ashes pile up inside them.
All the fellow firefighters who've died; the people they couldn't save.
I'm filled with ashes.
Do you think you can carry a load like that on your frail shoulders?! You're not still upset about my father and mother dying, are you? It's like I killed your father and mother, myself.
If you got killed because of me, I What're you talking about, baldy?! Dad and Mom died because of the fire! It's not your fault! And more importantly, you saved my life! You raised me into what I am! What's wrong with paying back my debt of gratitude?! What's wrong with wanting to help?! I didn't raise you out of love or anything like that.
I was paying back my debt.
For my crime of leaving your parents to die! There's no reason to become a firefighter anymore, right? Now, go find yourself a boyfriend somewhere and live like a normal girl.
You there Today is combustible trash day.
Why are porno books being thrown out? It's obvious.
Because after you read them, you get "hot.
" Huh? You have a good understanding They talk about segregating the trash But all trash burns once you set fire to it.
Who needs stupid rules.
We should just burn all trash.
Hey wait, you! He must be the arsonist.
Out of my way! Stop! Yikes! The fire is spreading! Somebody! Fire! Run! Fire! Old man, can you hear me?! There's a fire! Huh? Throw the castella cake hard against the wall? Okay, gotcha.
You don't understand at all! Are you wearing ear plugs? That's right.
If I had to say which, I prefer a love where I do the chasing rather than being chased.
I want to chase! Say, that starred Yoko Minamino, didn't it? [Note: Refers to "Oikaketai no!" Fuji-TV show of the late 1980s.
.]
I don't know what you're talking about! Your house is on fire! Can't you see the smoke?! Hurry and run away, you stupid old fart!! Who're you calling an old fart?! You wanna die?! Why can you only hear the bad things?! Oh no! It ignited the gas pipe.
This is getting me nowhere.
Wait, Tatsumi! I'll drag the old guy out.
You call the ME team!! Shut up! You don't give me orders! Go spread your baldness elsewhere! No way! Even if I were bald, my hair wouldn't scatter! It's a very neat bald! This is dangerous.
The fire's raging out of control! What's wrong with this? Old man! What're you waiting for?! I said the place is on fire! I'm not going to an old folks home! I'm going to be a burden to you until the day I die! Serves you right! What're you, high?! Dammit! It's like preaching to a horse! Who're you calling a deer?! You're no deer! You're a fool! [Note: A play on "baka", the Japanese word for fool.
The direct interpretation of the kanji for baka is someone who can't tell a horse from a deer.
.]
You fool! You're still? Don't let the fire spread any further! Quick! Bring the water! Hurry! Hey! Where'd the Chief go? Damn! It won't budge! Why did you protect me? You should've left me! Never mind me.
Grab the old man and evacuate.
Tatsumi Don't give me that crap! Tatsumi, if you call yourself a firefighter, you know what your priority is, don't you? If you hesitate, you won't be able to save those who need to be saved.
Firefighters are You don't understand that! Shut up! It's true that I tried becoming a firefighter because I lived with you.
I wanted to repay my debt of gratitude.
But, that's not all Just like how you rescued me that day I want to rescue someone! That's why regardless of what you say, I'll do whatever I want.
You're a stupidwoman I want you I want you to live That's right.
As I told you, I took you in at first because I wanted to repay my debt.
But somewhere along the way It wasn't about making amends anymore.
I just enjoyed watching you grow up.
After seeing people die before my eyes so many times, I had become an unstable soap bubble.
I felt as though I would be blown away by the wind and burst at any moment.
But, because you were here, I managed to stay afloat instead of bursting.
Because you smiled, I was able to rush to the fires Before you came along, I carried only ashes.
But you taught me what it means to carry the responsibility of a family.
I can't allow you to get burdened with our way of life! That's why You have to get away, Tatsumi! I don't want to carry my daughter's ashes too! You're such a stupid old man What? I don't want to carry my parent's ashes either! Stupid.
So wait here I'll be right back, Dad Life is like a soap bubble Riding on the wind, tossed back and forth Before you realize it, it's gone In the instant it's about to disappear, you think it could fly higher into the sky, but by that time, it's always too late.
Forgive me, Tatsumi But don't you think someone like me flew high enough? Wait! Who're you?! What're you doing? It's too dangerous! Too dangerous! Yo.
Glad you're okay.
You haven't burst yet, soap bubble.
Well, at your age, you probably can't fly very far anyway, but She can fly! If you keep blowing behind her Actually, you know that better than anyone, don't you? You've watched her longer than anyone The only thing I can do for you is Who're you? This is me, too A soap bubble that wants to fly higher than anyone.
Gin-san! Clean this place up! It looks like we're living in a dumpster! Yeah, since I can't figure out how to separate the trash, [Note: This is a reference to the Japanese TV drama, "Injured Angel.
".]
I've decided to live carelessly, like a fallen angel.
What part of you is a fallen angel?! Look at this stack of newspapers! Good grief! Hey, don't touch my stuff.
Leave it there.
Are you hiding porno or something? Shinpachi, leave him alone.
Gin-chan's going through an awkward stage.
Men are like soap bubbles.
["The Town Beauty Fireman! Tatsumi of ME Team.
".]
I don't want to hear that from you! [Preview.]
Mother? Of whom? Why're you acting like our mother? You're bothering me with your "Chew your food 20 times before swallowing"! The next episode "Mothers Everywhere Are All the Same.
" [A mother suddenly shows up at the Odd Jobs.
She's searching for her lost son.
.]
[She hires them and the investigation begins! It's been a long time since they've done any real work.
.]

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