Hap and Leonard (2016) s02e04 Episode Script
Bad Mojo
1 Previously on "Hap and Leonard" The body had feet, all right, and the feet had sneakers.
- Body have no feet.
- We both saw 'em.
- Some people learn the hard way.
- You are no man right now.
- [Moans.]
- [Groans.]
How did you get in here? Where is Ivan?! Get out of here.
Don't come back! No, look out, look out! [Glass shatters.]
This gate is the only thing standing between me and jail.
Uh, how do you know that? We haven't found the church yet.
[Carnival music playing, ride whirring.]
I think I'm falling in love.
With who? - Florida.
- Florida? If you had a good idea, it would die of loneliness.
- [Clank.]
- I guess you're gonna tell me Florida is young, smart, and smokin', and I'm old, dumb, and don't have a real job, and a woman like Florida can never fall in love with a loser like me.
Look down.
See all those fools down there? You and me, we ain't nothin' like them, Hap.
I love you, man.
Love you, too, Hap.
- [Hydraulics hiss.]
- [Both scream.]
[Hydraulic lift whirring.]
[Disco music playing.]
Collins.
Your turn on the dance floor.
- Wake up, asshole.
- [Music warps to a stop.]
Get dressed.
[Guitar playing blues song.]
You're lucky.
We got Mr.
Bobby Joe Soothe in here; serenade you.
[Cell door unlocks.]
Thought they had rules about inmates having shit they could hang themselves with.
Ah, my Bobby Joe wouldn't do that.
- Turn around.
- [Cell door clanks, locks.]
[Handcuffs clink, keys jangle.]
[Door opens and closes.]
What the hell they got you in here for now? Arson.
You? Kidnappin'.
Who? Beau Otis.
You know that Beau Otis is an epileptic? Didn't know.
Don't care.
[Theme music playing.]
LittleDuck and vivelalto There are only two types of people still livin' in this town, Collins them that just couldn't get out and them that just wouldn't.
- [Chair creaks.]
- Which type are you? See, here in East Texas, man needs a plan.
Otherwise, there's just nothing here for him except for trouble, of course.
Are you a troublemaker, Collins? Depends on who you ask.
I'm asking you.
Yeah, I guess I am.
[Laughs.]
My son Beau is a slothful, lazy, ignorant son of a bitch, but he is gonna be my next county judge, because that's what I need him to be, and you will not prevent that because I will not allow it.
Although I gotta say, I would have enjoyed seeing him piss himself last night.
[Laughs.]
It wasn't as much fun as you might imagine.
[Chuckles.]
This is all about what happened to your daddy, isn't it? Son, lookin' backwards ain't gonna get you outta this office, and it ain't gonna help your friend Leonard Pine either.
Now that boy is facin' some serious charges.
Accessory to murder, arson.
I wouldn't worry about him.
He got himself a pretty good lawyer.
Hey, hey.
Where is she then, I wonder? She'll be here.
Okay.
In the meantime, here's what you gotta do for me.
You're gonna promise to leave my son alone, and you're gonna stay off my radar, and I'm gonna forget about what happened last night.
Why don't you just go back out there and wait for your lawyer to get here? If she gets here.
What about Leonard? Oh, hell, you can take Leonard with you.
Would you tell Leonard for me, if he so much as whistles one false note I'm gonna drop him into a hole that's blacker than he is.
[Paper crinkling.]
[Train whistle blowing in distance.]
[Wrapper crinkling, whistle continues blowing.]
HANSON: According to the arson report, the house is a total loss.
Niggers were drug dealers.
I don't know if I'd call it a total loss.
You're lucky nobody was in there, boy.
You'd be lookin' at some heavy numbers.
I ain't no murderer, and I ain't your boy.
But you admit to setting the fire.
Don't know nothin' about no fire.
You tell the rest of the neighborhood to say that, too? Didn't have to.
You know what I think, Leonard? I think some people are stupid, some people are lucky, but you ain't either.
You just a criminal.
Got yourself a fancy lawyer, but we gon' get you.
[Chuckles.]
Not on this, not on helping your Uncle Chester hide that kid's body.
On somethin'.
Just a matter of time.
What, you think, 'cause, uh, we both brothers, I'm supposed to cut you some slack? Huh? That what you think? [Handcuffs clatter.]
You wanna know what I think? I think you stole them shoes off that dead kid a dead kid you know I ain't kill.
And we ain't no brothers, slack or no slack.
Now, uh if you ain't gon' charge me, I'm gonna, you know [Clicks tongue.]
Got a Gene Autry movie comin' on in two hours.
I didn't set my Betamax yet.
Go.
[Door creaks.]
You still lookin' at my Uncle Chester like a murderer? [Sighs.]
You heard the man, Pine.
You find out who them bones belong to yet? Them bones ain't your problem no more.
Now go on.
And you call me a criminal.
[Train whistle blows in distance.]
[Indistinct conversations in distance.]
Hey.
It's the luckiest man in LaBorde.
[Scoffs.]
That makes you the second luckiest, then.
[Sighs.]
Don't make sense.
Why they just let us go? 'Cause he's in charge, and nothing's changed.
That's the way it is and always will be.
Yeah, well, Melton's gone.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Guess I'm wrong.
Maybe some things do change.
So what about Uncle Chester, huh? What about BB? All them other missing kids? Oh, it's over.
It's over.
We We're done.
So that's it, huh? Yep.
That's it.
Well, I gotta get to work.
[Brakes squeal.]
I'm-a go and, uh, check on Ivan.
See you around, partner.
Adios, amigo.
Hey, uh, Hap? We did the right thing, right? We tried.
[Hydraulics hiss.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- Thank you, Miriam.
- Mm-hmm.
Lord knows, I need it.
I can tell.
You smell tired, Miss Florida.
Mm.
What does tired smell like? An old white man sad and salty.
- [Groans.]
- [Laughs.]
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
[Country music playing over speakers.]
You mind if I [Clears throat.]
[Chair scrapes floor.]
Um, I'm a little confused.
Two of your clients got arrested, and you didn't show.
I can't help people who don't want my help.
[Gasps.]
Oh.
Oh, this is about last night.
[Whispers.]
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you can't represent someone you're having a thing with.
One of my clients burned down a house.
The other one assaulted a county judge.
Neither one of them seems capable of being entirely truthful with me.
And by the way, this has nothing to do with what happened between you and me.
Well I had a nice time.
[Lowered voice.]
Everything I do is under a microscope.
People expect me to be perfect.
Do you understand that? Yeah, I understand that you're having difficulties, - but from where I'm sitting - Hap.
Difficult is getting a teenager into rehab after he's been busted for selling food stamps for drugs - Yes.
- or reuniting an illegal immigrant with with her baby after she's been deported.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What happened between us is the least difficult thing I've done in a long time.
- No, let me get that.
- Hap.
No, no, please, give me a a little dignity, huh? Hey.
We were up there pretty high last night.
How'd you get down? Thanks for breakfast, Hap.
[Door bells jingle.]
[Door closes.]
[Sighs heavily.]
[Faucet running.]
[Door opens.]
[Joe Ely's "Treat Me Like a Saturday Night" playing.]
- [Turns off faucet.]
- I'm going out Where the lights don't shine so bright I'm going out where the lights don't shine so bright When I get back You can treat me like a Saturday night [Clank, air blowing.]
- [Door closes.]
- [Sighs.]
- Boy, look at you.
- [Chuckles.]
You best not be causing MeMaw no trouble.
I ain't.
I wanna get a picture of you two.
I'm gonna put you two boys on my wall of remembrance.
You might try smilin'.
[Whirs.]
Ooh! A boy and his uncle.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, speakin' of family, you know we got to go find yours.
- I don't want to.
- Ain't about what you want, Ivan.
It's about what's right.
Come here, chil'.
My favorite part of the picture.
Leonard, you come look at this, too.
You can see a lot if you know how to look.
It's just chemicals, MeMaw.
They're not chemicals.
It's you.
It's your spirit coming through.
All the things you are, all the things you will be, and all the people that come before.
Now, go get dressed.
I made a pie.
I find out who his folks is, if he got any.
Oh, he got 'em, whether he want 'em or not.
He just like you.
Trouble in one pocket, sadness in the other.
But you grown into a fine man.
Now go put that pretty picture on my wall.
Yes, ma'am.
[Pensive music playing.]
Hap, we a coupla dumb-ass peckerheads.
That's you in the picture there, MeMaw? [Chuckles.]
I was just a little sliver of a thing there, wasn't I? The day after the picture was taken the Klan came and burn up my childhood.
[Gasps.]
That's where you got them there scars? Oh.
Well, I tried to put out the fire.
Oh, Lord, I tried.
I tried, I tried, I tried.
[Exhales deeply.]
All this remembrances [Breathes shallowly.]
clamped a cold hand on my heart.
Ivan, get me a glass of water, would you, please? MeMaw.
MeMaw? Tell me where this place is.
That place long [Exhales sharply.]
f-forgotten.
[Breathing shallowly.]
With spirits no one remembers.
Mm.
[Voice breaks.]
All those little chil'ren All lost.
- What the hell we doing in here, buddy? - [Unzips bag.]
I thought you folks were scared of places like this.
Doing our job, Charlie.
Yeah, well, Valentine said we're done with that.
Why you wanna complicate things? Why'd you become a cop, Charlie? Oh my God.
Look, you wanna talk about feelings, we're gonna do it over doughnuts like we're supposed to.
We can't get caught in here.
Yeah? We're cops, right? Yeah.
So we can do whatever we wanna do.
Who's gonna question us? Who's gonna stop us? Tampering with evidence is a crime, and that is what you're doin' right now.
Tampering's already been done.
It wasn't me.
Don't you wonder why? I mean, what's so important about this kid? Who was he? Nobody.
I don't know.
Who cares? Yeah? Well, Leonard Pine does.
Yeah, well, Leonard Pine is a asshole.
He's a criminal, and he's in your head, man.
[Door slams in distance.]
[Cane clatters.]
[Door creaks.]
[Door shuts.]
[Pen scribbling.]
- Let me know when it's done.
- Yes, sir.
204 is ready.
Right.
The crematorium.
[Receiver clatters.]
What the hell we just see? Partner, we were never here.
You gonna forget what you just saw.
We both are.
Understand? [Door opens.]
[Door creaks closed.]
[Sign creaking.]
[Gate thuds.]
You sure you wanna scrap that? Why? You want it? My second cousin, Ferdinand, - got this auction house over in Dallas.
- Uh-huh? He is always sellin' that kind of stuff to these arty farts.
I could check with him.
Why? How much you think it's worth? Depends on where it's been, who made it, how many of 'em there are.
But I tell you what.
It might be able to pay for a coat or two of paint on that old truck of yours.
Oh.
Oh, thanks, Fernie.
I'll I'll think about it.
Well, let me know.
[Wheelchair motor revs.]
[Organ playing gospel music.]
Oh, Leonard.
We are a coupla dumb-ass peckerheads.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Bell dings.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Murder him, Alfonzo! Make him bleed! Excuse me, ladies.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Um You lost? [Laughs.]
No.
No, ma'am.
I I'm not lost.
I'm You see, I-I'm trying to find out where this gate was.
See, th-the design here is real similar to the stained glass window design up there on that church, so I thought it might've come from here.
Right hook! Right hook, boy! Hallelujah! You think the this church ever had a-a fence around it? Not that I recall.
So you never seen this gate before? You pay for that seat? Well hello, Miss Grange.
[Lowered voice.]
I thought we had an understanding, you and me.
No, I'm just a private citizen with a passing interest in the art of boxing.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah, okay.
Well, this is a fundraiser, so you wanna stay for the show, you're gonna have to pay for a ticket.
Duck, Alfonzo! [Cheering.]
- [Laughs.]
- [Claps hands.]
Mama's gettin' a brand-new pair of shoes! [Bell dings.]
- Collins.
- Yeah? You box? Well little bit.
How 'bout a round or two for charity, show these folks how men do it? - Crowd: Yeah! - Please don't.
You think I'm gon' embarrass you, counselor? I think you're gonna embarrass yourself.
Oh.
So you do care.
I really don't.
[Crowd shouting indistinctly.]
[Cheers and applause.]
- Yeah.
- [Jacket drops.]
[Bell dings.]
[Cheers, applause, and laughter.]
[Crowd shout indistinctly.]
[Laughs.]
Pretty light on yo' feet.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
[Laughs.]
- [Grunts.]
- [Cheering.]
[Shouting indistinctly.]
Didn't hurt too much, did it? - Barely felt it.
- Is that right? [Cheering and indistinct shouting continues.]
- [Grunts.]
- Crowd: Oh! [Indistinct shouting.]
Hey, just sparring, right? Nothin' heavy, just a spar.
- [Grunts.]
- [Cheering.]
[James grunting.]
- Oh, hey.
- Uhh! That's all you got? Huh? - [Crowd booing.]
- Woman: No! [Indistinct shouting.]
[Grunting.]
[Crowd booing.]
You beat up my pastor.
W [Indistinct shouting.]
Oh, shit.
[Slow motion grunt.]
Boy's smart.
Old Cottonmouth Road.
Now don't be tellin' them cops nothin'.
Popo dumb as dirt, and just as ugly, too.
Do it yourself, boy.
I would.
[Water splashes.]
[Exhales deeply.]
[Birds chirping.]
You almost had me there.
- [Chuckles.]
- [Hap exhales deeply.]
Don't care what he says.
You opened up a can of whup-ass on that man.
- Mm-hmm.
- I appreciate that, ma'am.
- Woman: Mm-hmm.
- [Exhales.]
[Grunts.]
Hold on now.
You need to sit a while.
- You still got the vapors still.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[Grunts.]
Will you tell me, any of you ladies know where where the Old Hope Church is? Roy Rogers and Dale Evans: How do I know The Bible tells me so Much obliged.
[Vehicle doors close.]
Goddamn peckerheads all think alike.
I thought it was great minds.
In your case, peckerheads.
[Dramatic music playing.]
Wall look like a - smile missing a tooth.
- [Grunts.]
I think the killer took that gate so he had something to weigh him down with.
How far you think Illium's pond is? Half a mile east.
Mm-hmm.
Hap: What the hell was that kid doing out here, playing all by himself? The old church.
Yep.
Old MeMaw was right.
This place should be forgotten.
Mm.
- [Creaking.]
- Aah! [Both grunt, cough.]
[Groaning.]
- [Coughing.]
- Ohh, I am old.
Leonard: I think I just squashed my last kidney.
I am so damn old! [Groans.]
[Coughing.]
- Ugh.
- [Coughing.]
[Exhales deeply.]
Looks like the basement.
It damn sure ain't the attic, Einstein.
[Laughs.]
Through here.
[Both coughing.]
Hey.
These boards look brand-new.
[Continues panting.]
Let's check it out, huh? - Oh, Hap, I'm outta here.
- Hey, come on, man.
Come on, give me a hand.
[Groans.]
[Strained voice.]
Would you Come on, give me a hand.
[Grunts.]
Get it.
[Boards clattering.]
[Lighter clicks.]
[Whispers.]
There you go.
[Lighter snaps closed.]
What is all this? Leonard: 1977.
'78.
'79.
'80.
Hey, help me with this one.
- Is it loose? - Yeah.
[Grunting.]
- [Lid clatters.]
- Oh shit! Oh! Ah, Jesus.
Jesus ain't had nothin' to do with this, Hap.
Just a kid.
[Lid clatters.]
[Voice breaks.]
Real sorry what happened to you, boy.
Real sorry.
[Lid thuds.]
There's a box for every year.
And this is '88.
Empty.
Leonard: Whoever did this ain't finished yet.
Whoever did this killed BB.
Chester was right.
It's all connected.
Oh, shit, Hap.
We can't even go to the cops.
Our prints all over this damn place.
Valentine did warn me.
Warn you about what? This morning.
He said if we don't drop it he'd drop you into a hole darker'n this one.
I don't give a damn what happen to me no more.
And I don't give a damn what you promised Valentine.
[Slaps sides.]
We gon' find out who did this.
He's gonna end up killin' more.
Cheering guitare [Blows air.]
Hap: We got 22 missing kids and 13 bodies.
Leonard: Now we gotta do is figure out which one's in the crypt.
Uh-huh.
Well, '79 and '81 they're the only years when just one kid went missin'.
Jesse Johnson and LeShawn Simms in October, 20th and 21st.
Oh, and this one, too.
October 19th.
Well, let's start taking down the ones - that wasn't nabbed in October.
- Right.
That's 13? Bunt Jackson, LeShawn Simms.
That's our 13.
Leonard: Why these? Either they're random killings or connected to the killer in some way.
Kinda look like Idaho.
Yeah.
And Idaho runs around Cooperstown.
[Indistinct conversations.]
[Door creaks, bells jingle.]
Boss.
Hey.
[Country music playing over speakers.]
You know how crazy this is? What? We're just havin' lunch, Charlie.
- He ain't that stupid.
- Just be cool.
What can I get y'all? Coffee'll be fine.
Thank you, ma'am.
You, sir? Uh, same.
You got it.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
So Valentine tells us to let Pine go, then we find out Valentine took the shoes.
I mean, aren't you curious about what he's up to? Yeah.
Maybe the rumors are true, that Valentine paid the cops off the night that Beau Otis killed them fellas' daddies.
They say Beau was drunk as a skunk.
True or not, that gets out, what you think happens to Judge Otis' chance of gettin' re-elected? Unless the shoes tie Collins to the murder somehow.
Is it possible he might be blackmailing Valentine? Nah, no way.
He ain't that ballsy.
Yeah? But you kill a kid, no matter what the circumstances, might just grow you a pair.
We been lookin' awful hard at Leonard Pine.
Yeah 'cause Valentine told us to.
Just another way of sayin', "Don't look at Hap Collins.
" Now each one of these dead kids went missin' in October.
Why October? Well, that's the $64,000 question.
October 18th one year, the 20th the next, 19th.
Always different.
What if it's not the date, but the day that matters? - Huh? - You know how sometimes your birthday fall on a Monday one year and Tuesday the next? Mm-hmm.
What day did these murders happen on, Hap? [Papers rustling.]
Oh, damn it, Leonard.
You're a genius.
[Scoffs.]
I know.
Every one of these falls on the third Saturday in October.
That's Oh.
That's tomorrow.
Oh, damn it, Hap.
We got company.
[Tires screech.]
Stay close, partner, in case they try somethin' funny.
[Police radio chatter.]
Lose 'em.
In this hunk of junk? How am 'posed to do that? I don't know, but you best do it quick.
You gonna have Whitney Houston curls and be Tina Turner blonde.
Oh! [Laughs.]
Stella: Well, well, well, well, well.
Two of my favorite people.
Leonard, sit.
Let me touch up those edges.
I ain't got time for that right now.
The police behind us.
- What?! Let me see.
- [Grunts.]
I want no trouble in here.
What you do? Woke up this mornin'.
I gotchu.
Gimme two minutes and go out that back door.
Dawnisha, round up the girls.
Ladies.
[Inhales deeply.]
What are those dummies doin' in there? Let's go in.
[Suspenseful music playing.]
Stella: Which one the white one again? Hanson: Hap Collins.
What he look like? Like the guy who was just in here a minute ago, ma'am.
- That's him right there.
- [Laughter.]
- Funny.
- Well, hell, you know it's hard to tell y'all apart.
- [Laughter.]
- We gonna look around.
- You don't mind, do you? - Mnh-mnh, be my guest.
And find my missing son while you at it.
[Beads clinking.]
Ma'am, let us by now.
You a cop, right? Well, some dick munch done stole my baby's bike.
- What you gon' do about it? - Call the Sheriff's office.
They'll send a deputy out.
Why I gotta do that when you right here? Because we're in the middle of official business.
We is, too.
Stoplight up on Rabbit Hill Road been out going on what? Five years.
Women: Five years! And some crackhead took off with my grandma's check.
Women: Mm-hmm.
And my kitten be in a tree since Communion.
[Women speaking at once.]
Stella: That's right.
Tell 'em, ladies.
[All speaking at once.]
[Engine idling.]
Hey, uh - You got a buck? - Nope.
50 cent.
Transfer's good for two hours.
He with me.
You sure? Yeah, I'm sho'.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Don't thank me.
You owe me 50 cent.
Hap.
[Map rustling.]
- Idaho.
- Idaho.
[Map rustles.]
[Johnny Cash's "Wayfaring Stranger" playing.]
I'm just a poor Wayfarin' stranger Travelin' through This world below There is no sickness No toil nor danger In that bright land To which I go I'm going there To see my father And all my loved ones Who've gone on I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home [Hydraulics hiss.]
Last stop! I know dark clouds Will gather 'round me I know my way Is hard and steep But beauteous fields Arise before me They were here, Len.
Every third Saturday of October.
They were just here to have fun.
She said she'd meet me When I come So I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home vivelalto and LittleDuck
- Body have no feet.
- We both saw 'em.
- Some people learn the hard way.
- You are no man right now.
- [Moans.]
- [Groans.]
How did you get in here? Where is Ivan?! Get out of here.
Don't come back! No, look out, look out! [Glass shatters.]
This gate is the only thing standing between me and jail.
Uh, how do you know that? We haven't found the church yet.
[Carnival music playing, ride whirring.]
I think I'm falling in love.
With who? - Florida.
- Florida? If you had a good idea, it would die of loneliness.
- [Clank.]
- I guess you're gonna tell me Florida is young, smart, and smokin', and I'm old, dumb, and don't have a real job, and a woman like Florida can never fall in love with a loser like me.
Look down.
See all those fools down there? You and me, we ain't nothin' like them, Hap.
I love you, man.
Love you, too, Hap.
- [Hydraulics hiss.]
- [Both scream.]
[Hydraulic lift whirring.]
[Disco music playing.]
Collins.
Your turn on the dance floor.
- Wake up, asshole.
- [Music warps to a stop.]
Get dressed.
[Guitar playing blues song.]
You're lucky.
We got Mr.
Bobby Joe Soothe in here; serenade you.
[Cell door unlocks.]
Thought they had rules about inmates having shit they could hang themselves with.
Ah, my Bobby Joe wouldn't do that.
- Turn around.
- [Cell door clanks, locks.]
[Handcuffs clink, keys jangle.]
[Door opens and closes.]
What the hell they got you in here for now? Arson.
You? Kidnappin'.
Who? Beau Otis.
You know that Beau Otis is an epileptic? Didn't know.
Don't care.
[Theme music playing.]
LittleDuck and vivelalto There are only two types of people still livin' in this town, Collins them that just couldn't get out and them that just wouldn't.
- [Chair creaks.]
- Which type are you? See, here in East Texas, man needs a plan.
Otherwise, there's just nothing here for him except for trouble, of course.
Are you a troublemaker, Collins? Depends on who you ask.
I'm asking you.
Yeah, I guess I am.
[Laughs.]
My son Beau is a slothful, lazy, ignorant son of a bitch, but he is gonna be my next county judge, because that's what I need him to be, and you will not prevent that because I will not allow it.
Although I gotta say, I would have enjoyed seeing him piss himself last night.
[Laughs.]
It wasn't as much fun as you might imagine.
[Chuckles.]
This is all about what happened to your daddy, isn't it? Son, lookin' backwards ain't gonna get you outta this office, and it ain't gonna help your friend Leonard Pine either.
Now that boy is facin' some serious charges.
Accessory to murder, arson.
I wouldn't worry about him.
He got himself a pretty good lawyer.
Hey, hey.
Where is she then, I wonder? She'll be here.
Okay.
In the meantime, here's what you gotta do for me.
You're gonna promise to leave my son alone, and you're gonna stay off my radar, and I'm gonna forget about what happened last night.
Why don't you just go back out there and wait for your lawyer to get here? If she gets here.
What about Leonard? Oh, hell, you can take Leonard with you.
Would you tell Leonard for me, if he so much as whistles one false note I'm gonna drop him into a hole that's blacker than he is.
[Paper crinkling.]
[Train whistle blowing in distance.]
[Wrapper crinkling, whistle continues blowing.]
HANSON: According to the arson report, the house is a total loss.
Niggers were drug dealers.
I don't know if I'd call it a total loss.
You're lucky nobody was in there, boy.
You'd be lookin' at some heavy numbers.
I ain't no murderer, and I ain't your boy.
But you admit to setting the fire.
Don't know nothin' about no fire.
You tell the rest of the neighborhood to say that, too? Didn't have to.
You know what I think, Leonard? I think some people are stupid, some people are lucky, but you ain't either.
You just a criminal.
Got yourself a fancy lawyer, but we gon' get you.
[Chuckles.]
Not on this, not on helping your Uncle Chester hide that kid's body.
On somethin'.
Just a matter of time.
What, you think, 'cause, uh, we both brothers, I'm supposed to cut you some slack? Huh? That what you think? [Handcuffs clatter.]
You wanna know what I think? I think you stole them shoes off that dead kid a dead kid you know I ain't kill.
And we ain't no brothers, slack or no slack.
Now, uh if you ain't gon' charge me, I'm gonna, you know [Clicks tongue.]
Got a Gene Autry movie comin' on in two hours.
I didn't set my Betamax yet.
Go.
[Door creaks.]
You still lookin' at my Uncle Chester like a murderer? [Sighs.]
You heard the man, Pine.
You find out who them bones belong to yet? Them bones ain't your problem no more.
Now go on.
And you call me a criminal.
[Train whistle blows in distance.]
[Indistinct conversations in distance.]
Hey.
It's the luckiest man in LaBorde.
[Scoffs.]
That makes you the second luckiest, then.
[Sighs.]
Don't make sense.
Why they just let us go? 'Cause he's in charge, and nothing's changed.
That's the way it is and always will be.
Yeah, well, Melton's gone.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Guess I'm wrong.
Maybe some things do change.
So what about Uncle Chester, huh? What about BB? All them other missing kids? Oh, it's over.
It's over.
We We're done.
So that's it, huh? Yep.
That's it.
Well, I gotta get to work.
[Brakes squeal.]
I'm-a go and, uh, check on Ivan.
See you around, partner.
Adios, amigo.
Hey, uh, Hap? We did the right thing, right? We tried.
[Hydraulics hiss.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- Thank you, Miriam.
- Mm-hmm.
Lord knows, I need it.
I can tell.
You smell tired, Miss Florida.
Mm.
What does tired smell like? An old white man sad and salty.
- [Groans.]
- [Laughs.]
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
[Country music playing over speakers.]
You mind if I [Clears throat.]
[Chair scrapes floor.]
Um, I'm a little confused.
Two of your clients got arrested, and you didn't show.
I can't help people who don't want my help.
[Gasps.]
Oh.
Oh, this is about last night.
[Whispers.]
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you can't represent someone you're having a thing with.
One of my clients burned down a house.
The other one assaulted a county judge.
Neither one of them seems capable of being entirely truthful with me.
And by the way, this has nothing to do with what happened between you and me.
Well I had a nice time.
[Lowered voice.]
Everything I do is under a microscope.
People expect me to be perfect.
Do you understand that? Yeah, I understand that you're having difficulties, - but from where I'm sitting - Hap.
Difficult is getting a teenager into rehab after he's been busted for selling food stamps for drugs - Yes.
- or reuniting an illegal immigrant with with her baby after she's been deported.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What happened between us is the least difficult thing I've done in a long time.
- No, let me get that.
- Hap.
No, no, please, give me a a little dignity, huh? Hey.
We were up there pretty high last night.
How'd you get down? Thanks for breakfast, Hap.
[Door bells jingle.]
[Door closes.]
[Sighs heavily.]
[Faucet running.]
[Door opens.]
[Joe Ely's "Treat Me Like a Saturday Night" playing.]
- [Turns off faucet.]
- I'm going out Where the lights don't shine so bright I'm going out where the lights don't shine so bright When I get back You can treat me like a Saturday night [Clank, air blowing.]
- [Door closes.]
- [Sighs.]
- Boy, look at you.
- [Chuckles.]
You best not be causing MeMaw no trouble.
I ain't.
I wanna get a picture of you two.
I'm gonna put you two boys on my wall of remembrance.
You might try smilin'.
[Whirs.]
Ooh! A boy and his uncle.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, speakin' of family, you know we got to go find yours.
- I don't want to.
- Ain't about what you want, Ivan.
It's about what's right.
Come here, chil'.
My favorite part of the picture.
Leonard, you come look at this, too.
You can see a lot if you know how to look.
It's just chemicals, MeMaw.
They're not chemicals.
It's you.
It's your spirit coming through.
All the things you are, all the things you will be, and all the people that come before.
Now, go get dressed.
I made a pie.
I find out who his folks is, if he got any.
Oh, he got 'em, whether he want 'em or not.
He just like you.
Trouble in one pocket, sadness in the other.
But you grown into a fine man.
Now go put that pretty picture on my wall.
Yes, ma'am.
[Pensive music playing.]
Hap, we a coupla dumb-ass peckerheads.
That's you in the picture there, MeMaw? [Chuckles.]
I was just a little sliver of a thing there, wasn't I? The day after the picture was taken the Klan came and burn up my childhood.
[Gasps.]
That's where you got them there scars? Oh.
Well, I tried to put out the fire.
Oh, Lord, I tried.
I tried, I tried, I tried.
[Exhales deeply.]
All this remembrances [Breathes shallowly.]
clamped a cold hand on my heart.
Ivan, get me a glass of water, would you, please? MeMaw.
MeMaw? Tell me where this place is.
That place long [Exhales sharply.]
f-forgotten.
[Breathing shallowly.]
With spirits no one remembers.
Mm.
[Voice breaks.]
All those little chil'ren All lost.
- What the hell we doing in here, buddy? - [Unzips bag.]
I thought you folks were scared of places like this.
Doing our job, Charlie.
Yeah, well, Valentine said we're done with that.
Why you wanna complicate things? Why'd you become a cop, Charlie? Oh my God.
Look, you wanna talk about feelings, we're gonna do it over doughnuts like we're supposed to.
We can't get caught in here.
Yeah? We're cops, right? Yeah.
So we can do whatever we wanna do.
Who's gonna question us? Who's gonna stop us? Tampering with evidence is a crime, and that is what you're doin' right now.
Tampering's already been done.
It wasn't me.
Don't you wonder why? I mean, what's so important about this kid? Who was he? Nobody.
I don't know.
Who cares? Yeah? Well, Leonard Pine does.
Yeah, well, Leonard Pine is a asshole.
He's a criminal, and he's in your head, man.
[Door slams in distance.]
[Cane clatters.]
[Door creaks.]
[Door shuts.]
[Pen scribbling.]
- Let me know when it's done.
- Yes, sir.
204 is ready.
Right.
The crematorium.
[Receiver clatters.]
What the hell we just see? Partner, we were never here.
You gonna forget what you just saw.
We both are.
Understand? [Door opens.]
[Door creaks closed.]
[Sign creaking.]
[Gate thuds.]
You sure you wanna scrap that? Why? You want it? My second cousin, Ferdinand, - got this auction house over in Dallas.
- Uh-huh? He is always sellin' that kind of stuff to these arty farts.
I could check with him.
Why? How much you think it's worth? Depends on where it's been, who made it, how many of 'em there are.
But I tell you what.
It might be able to pay for a coat or two of paint on that old truck of yours.
Oh.
Oh, thanks, Fernie.
I'll I'll think about it.
Well, let me know.
[Wheelchair motor revs.]
[Organ playing gospel music.]
Oh, Leonard.
We are a coupla dumb-ass peckerheads.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Bell dings.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Murder him, Alfonzo! Make him bleed! Excuse me, ladies.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Um You lost? [Laughs.]
No.
No, ma'am.
I I'm not lost.
I'm You see, I-I'm trying to find out where this gate was.
See, th-the design here is real similar to the stained glass window design up there on that church, so I thought it might've come from here.
Right hook! Right hook, boy! Hallelujah! You think the this church ever had a-a fence around it? Not that I recall.
So you never seen this gate before? You pay for that seat? Well hello, Miss Grange.
[Lowered voice.]
I thought we had an understanding, you and me.
No, I'm just a private citizen with a passing interest in the art of boxing.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah, okay.
Well, this is a fundraiser, so you wanna stay for the show, you're gonna have to pay for a ticket.
Duck, Alfonzo! [Cheering.]
- [Laughs.]
- [Claps hands.]
Mama's gettin' a brand-new pair of shoes! [Bell dings.]
- Collins.
- Yeah? You box? Well little bit.
How 'bout a round or two for charity, show these folks how men do it? - Crowd: Yeah! - Please don't.
You think I'm gon' embarrass you, counselor? I think you're gonna embarrass yourself.
Oh.
So you do care.
I really don't.
[Crowd shouting indistinctly.]
[Cheers and applause.]
- Yeah.
- [Jacket drops.]
[Bell dings.]
[Cheers, applause, and laughter.]
[Crowd shout indistinctly.]
[Laughs.]
Pretty light on yo' feet.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
[Laughs.]
- [Grunts.]
- [Cheering.]
[Shouting indistinctly.]
Didn't hurt too much, did it? - Barely felt it.
- Is that right? [Cheering and indistinct shouting continues.]
- [Grunts.]
- Crowd: Oh! [Indistinct shouting.]
Hey, just sparring, right? Nothin' heavy, just a spar.
- [Grunts.]
- [Cheering.]
[James grunting.]
- Oh, hey.
- Uhh! That's all you got? Huh? - [Crowd booing.]
- Woman: No! [Indistinct shouting.]
[Grunting.]
[Crowd booing.]
You beat up my pastor.
W [Indistinct shouting.]
Oh, shit.
[Slow motion grunt.]
Boy's smart.
Old Cottonmouth Road.
Now don't be tellin' them cops nothin'.
Popo dumb as dirt, and just as ugly, too.
Do it yourself, boy.
I would.
[Water splashes.]
[Exhales deeply.]
[Birds chirping.]
You almost had me there.
- [Chuckles.]
- [Hap exhales deeply.]
Don't care what he says.
You opened up a can of whup-ass on that man.
- Mm-hmm.
- I appreciate that, ma'am.
- Woman: Mm-hmm.
- [Exhales.]
[Grunts.]
Hold on now.
You need to sit a while.
- You still got the vapors still.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[Grunts.]
Will you tell me, any of you ladies know where where the Old Hope Church is? Roy Rogers and Dale Evans: How do I know The Bible tells me so Much obliged.
[Vehicle doors close.]
Goddamn peckerheads all think alike.
I thought it was great minds.
In your case, peckerheads.
[Dramatic music playing.]
Wall look like a - smile missing a tooth.
- [Grunts.]
I think the killer took that gate so he had something to weigh him down with.
How far you think Illium's pond is? Half a mile east.
Mm-hmm.
Hap: What the hell was that kid doing out here, playing all by himself? The old church.
Yep.
Old MeMaw was right.
This place should be forgotten.
Mm.
- [Creaking.]
- Aah! [Both grunt, cough.]
[Groaning.]
- [Coughing.]
- Ohh, I am old.
Leonard: I think I just squashed my last kidney.
I am so damn old! [Groans.]
[Coughing.]
- Ugh.
- [Coughing.]
[Exhales deeply.]
Looks like the basement.
It damn sure ain't the attic, Einstein.
[Laughs.]
Through here.
[Both coughing.]
Hey.
These boards look brand-new.
[Continues panting.]
Let's check it out, huh? - Oh, Hap, I'm outta here.
- Hey, come on, man.
Come on, give me a hand.
[Groans.]
[Strained voice.]
Would you Come on, give me a hand.
[Grunts.]
Get it.
[Boards clattering.]
[Lighter clicks.]
[Whispers.]
There you go.
[Lighter snaps closed.]
What is all this? Leonard: 1977.
'78.
'79.
'80.
Hey, help me with this one.
- Is it loose? - Yeah.
[Grunting.]
- [Lid clatters.]
- Oh shit! Oh! Ah, Jesus.
Jesus ain't had nothin' to do with this, Hap.
Just a kid.
[Lid clatters.]
[Voice breaks.]
Real sorry what happened to you, boy.
Real sorry.
[Lid thuds.]
There's a box for every year.
And this is '88.
Empty.
Leonard: Whoever did this ain't finished yet.
Whoever did this killed BB.
Chester was right.
It's all connected.
Oh, shit, Hap.
We can't even go to the cops.
Our prints all over this damn place.
Valentine did warn me.
Warn you about what? This morning.
He said if we don't drop it he'd drop you into a hole darker'n this one.
I don't give a damn what happen to me no more.
And I don't give a damn what you promised Valentine.
[Slaps sides.]
We gon' find out who did this.
He's gonna end up killin' more.
Cheering guitare [Blows air.]
Hap: We got 22 missing kids and 13 bodies.
Leonard: Now we gotta do is figure out which one's in the crypt.
Uh-huh.
Well, '79 and '81 they're the only years when just one kid went missin'.
Jesse Johnson and LeShawn Simms in October, 20th and 21st.
Oh, and this one, too.
October 19th.
Well, let's start taking down the ones - that wasn't nabbed in October.
- Right.
That's 13? Bunt Jackson, LeShawn Simms.
That's our 13.
Leonard: Why these? Either they're random killings or connected to the killer in some way.
Kinda look like Idaho.
Yeah.
And Idaho runs around Cooperstown.
[Indistinct conversations.]
[Door creaks, bells jingle.]
Boss.
Hey.
[Country music playing over speakers.]
You know how crazy this is? What? We're just havin' lunch, Charlie.
- He ain't that stupid.
- Just be cool.
What can I get y'all? Coffee'll be fine.
Thank you, ma'am.
You, sir? Uh, same.
You got it.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
So Valentine tells us to let Pine go, then we find out Valentine took the shoes.
I mean, aren't you curious about what he's up to? Yeah.
Maybe the rumors are true, that Valentine paid the cops off the night that Beau Otis killed them fellas' daddies.
They say Beau was drunk as a skunk.
True or not, that gets out, what you think happens to Judge Otis' chance of gettin' re-elected? Unless the shoes tie Collins to the murder somehow.
Is it possible he might be blackmailing Valentine? Nah, no way.
He ain't that ballsy.
Yeah? But you kill a kid, no matter what the circumstances, might just grow you a pair.
We been lookin' awful hard at Leonard Pine.
Yeah 'cause Valentine told us to.
Just another way of sayin', "Don't look at Hap Collins.
" Now each one of these dead kids went missin' in October.
Why October? Well, that's the $64,000 question.
October 18th one year, the 20th the next, 19th.
Always different.
What if it's not the date, but the day that matters? - Huh? - You know how sometimes your birthday fall on a Monday one year and Tuesday the next? Mm-hmm.
What day did these murders happen on, Hap? [Papers rustling.]
Oh, damn it, Leonard.
You're a genius.
[Scoffs.]
I know.
Every one of these falls on the third Saturday in October.
That's Oh.
That's tomorrow.
Oh, damn it, Hap.
We got company.
[Tires screech.]
Stay close, partner, in case they try somethin' funny.
[Police radio chatter.]
Lose 'em.
In this hunk of junk? How am 'posed to do that? I don't know, but you best do it quick.
You gonna have Whitney Houston curls and be Tina Turner blonde.
Oh! [Laughs.]
Stella: Well, well, well, well, well.
Two of my favorite people.
Leonard, sit.
Let me touch up those edges.
I ain't got time for that right now.
The police behind us.
- What?! Let me see.
- [Grunts.]
I want no trouble in here.
What you do? Woke up this mornin'.
I gotchu.
Gimme two minutes and go out that back door.
Dawnisha, round up the girls.
Ladies.
[Inhales deeply.]
What are those dummies doin' in there? Let's go in.
[Suspenseful music playing.]
Stella: Which one the white one again? Hanson: Hap Collins.
What he look like? Like the guy who was just in here a minute ago, ma'am.
- That's him right there.
- [Laughter.]
- Funny.
- Well, hell, you know it's hard to tell y'all apart.
- [Laughter.]
- We gonna look around.
- You don't mind, do you? - Mnh-mnh, be my guest.
And find my missing son while you at it.
[Beads clinking.]
Ma'am, let us by now.
You a cop, right? Well, some dick munch done stole my baby's bike.
- What you gon' do about it? - Call the Sheriff's office.
They'll send a deputy out.
Why I gotta do that when you right here? Because we're in the middle of official business.
We is, too.
Stoplight up on Rabbit Hill Road been out going on what? Five years.
Women: Five years! And some crackhead took off with my grandma's check.
Women: Mm-hmm.
And my kitten be in a tree since Communion.
[Women speaking at once.]
Stella: That's right.
Tell 'em, ladies.
[All speaking at once.]
[Engine idling.]
Hey, uh - You got a buck? - Nope.
50 cent.
Transfer's good for two hours.
He with me.
You sure? Yeah, I'm sho'.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Don't thank me.
You owe me 50 cent.
Hap.
[Map rustling.]
- Idaho.
- Idaho.
[Map rustles.]
[Johnny Cash's "Wayfaring Stranger" playing.]
I'm just a poor Wayfarin' stranger Travelin' through This world below There is no sickness No toil nor danger In that bright land To which I go I'm going there To see my father And all my loved ones Who've gone on I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home [Hydraulics hiss.]
Last stop! I know dark clouds Will gather 'round me I know my way Is hard and steep But beauteous fields Arise before me They were here, Len.
Every third Saturday of October.
They were just here to have fun.
She said she'd meet me When I come So I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home I'm just goin' Over Jordan I'm just goin' Over home vivelalto and LittleDuck