Harlem (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

1
[R&B music]
[Camille] Legacy.
Anthropologists often rely on
it to help fill in the blanks.
But for some cultures,
legacy is not easily studied.
For example, many people
of African origin can only
trace their families back
five or six generations
due to the transatlantic
slave trade.
So when history gets
less clear,
and we don't know what was,
how do future
generations determine
what their legacy should be?
[speaker on TV] That's when
I learned the seminar wasn't
just a self-help course.
It was a cult
You think you could ever
get taken in by a cult?
Uh, no way.
I am way too skeptical,
and I overthink.
You, on the other hand,
would be a cult's dream.
You're too damn nice,
and you'd probably be afraid
of offending somebody
by asking them
where the exit is.
Yep, that's me,
nice and dumb.
No, Ian.
I'm such a dumbass.
No, don't say that.
mean, how the hell did I think
I was gonna cancel
an entire wedding
and Mira's parents weren't
gonna want me to pay for it?
Yeah, but they didn't
even ask you.
They just sent an officer
to serve you with a lawsuit.
I mean, I've never even heard
of that, and I watch Bravo.
It's too garbage can trash
for even Jersey.
Ain't nothing garbage can
trash about $68,000.
You know, the irony is,
I told her.
I told her this was too much.
You know, we should just
do something like
city hall or something simple.
Simple can be romantic.
Just me, her, her friends
I don't think I want to hear
any more about that.
Just
Copy.
Nah, but paying for it
is the right thing to do.
It's just impossible.
It's like remembering
to floss every day
or defending the Knicks.
Well, you know that I would
give you the money,
if I didn't talk
to my student loan collectors
enough to know their kids'
names and birthdays.
But we will figure
this out together.
[TV clicks off]
Mm, I think you sat
on the remote again.
Oh.
- Got it?
- Nah.
- No remote, but
- But?
funny little
hair tie thingy.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, shit,
this is my NuvaRing.
Wait, did this just fall out?
[chuckles]
What, through your shorts?
I don't think so.
Oh, my God.
This must have fallen out
during our couch session.
Whew.
One of our finest, I might add.
So we were knocking boots,
and I knocked it out?
- Ayy.
- All right, Ian,
I could be really pregnant.
- [sighs]
- Hm.
Hmm?
Hmm what?
Well, I mean,
we're not 18 anymore.
All right, I mean,
we always used to fantasize
about having kids.
Right?
Come on, Camille.
We're in our 30s.
Like,
getting pregnant wouldn't
be the worst thing.
- Would it?
- Yeah, but we just
got back together.
And having accidental
couch babies was not
a part of our fantasy,
especially with your lawsuit
and my going nowhere
job search.
OK.
Google says
that it is soon enough
that we are still protected
from pregnancy.
[sighs]
What a relief, right?
[chuckles]
Is it weird I miss
couch baby already?
[hip-hop music]
Very.
You know what else is weird?
- Hm?
- That.
♪
I'm worried.
This is your third
transfusion this month.
I actually knew that,
because fun fact,
I was here for all three.
Blood transfusions are
for emergency situations,
not routine care.
- [phone buzzing]
- Got it.
Uh, this is
my attorney calling.
I have to take it.
Talk to me, June.
How are we getting Brandon
the fuck out of my place?
This is serious.
You need to start talking
with your doctor
about having your hysterectomy.
It's too risky to keep
treating you with transfusions.
Too risky?
Yet, yanking everything
out is safe?
Not you, June.
This bootleg-ass clinic is
trying to stop treating me.
Tell them they have
to treat me.
This is my lawyer, and she says
you have to treat me.
What do you mean,
"not necessarily?"
You work for me.
No, I don't.
I work for the clinic.
Oh, my God.
I'm not talking to you.
No, I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to her.
Arbitration?
The paperwork
that you signed releases us
How many times
do I have to say,
I am not talking to you?
Not you, June.
Her.
Goodbye.
We'll talk later.
Where the hell are you going?
You said we'd talk later.
I wasn't
just give me
the damn blood transfusion.
OK.
But this is your last time.
I know. I know.
Turns out, hoping
health problems would go away
is no more a solid plan than
hoping my ex-husband would.
That was my plan
with my ex too.
Maybe we should
introduce them to each other,
and they can
ruin the Earth together.
But does it say "Vogue"?
It shouts "Vogue."
It screams "Vogue."
Eh, I prefer the blue one.
Don't look at me like that.
You know the morning I had.
I'm gonna change.
The vote needs to be unanimous.
But girl, you know
we ain't been unanimous
since we agreed
that shower sex was overrated.
[Quinn] I still can't
believe that Mira didn't
have "Vogue" cancel
my 73 Questions.
That's because she was
probably too busy
suing Ian to be shady with you.
But the question is,
when will a tornado come down
and drop a house on top of her?
And maybe pick up Brandon's ass
on its way out.
And maybe Isabella could
get a little bit
of that collateral damage.
Mmm.
Actually, I did not mean that.
It was my fault.
- Quinn.
- No, it was.
I was too pushy.
Too me.
This is dumb.
- [Camille] No.
- Why are we talking about exes
when you are about to have
the greatest interview
of your career?
You know,
when I was in "Forbes,"
it was all I could think about.
[both] We remember.
[Angie] Praise Jesus, Buddha,
and L. Ron
whatever-the-fuck-his-name-was!
Best day ever!
Angela Wilson, everybody!
Angie Wilson just booked
a costar role
in The Legacy
of Christmas Falls.
- [Tye] Oh.
- Oh, my gosh.
You booked that Christmas
Hallmark film?
- Yes.
- Oh, my gosh,
this is like
a dream come true.
OK, for you more than me,
but yup.
I am officially
the lead girl's best friend,
Ebony Jackson Washington.
The cultural sensitivity
of Hallmark.
- [Quinn chuckles]
- That part.
I walked in.
The casting director
and I chatted.
They asked if I could
ride a bike, and that was it.
And it starts immediately,
like now.
Wait, did you tell them
that you can't ride a bike?
I told them that I could.
And that's why
God invented stunt doubles
and special effects.
But did he invent those?
I'm going to be a star.
My girl's gonna be in "Vogue."
What else did I miss?
Um, Tye can't continue
with her blood transfusions.
Camille lost her NuvaRing.
Were those cause and effect?
Unrelated.
[Angie] Must have been
some acrobatic-ass sex!
Yeah!
Cirque du So-Fuck.
Ooh, I love dirty Camille.
She is rare,
but when she's here,
- baby, she shines.
- Thank you.
But real talk, I don't like
birth control stuck up in me.
And the way I figure,
if I ain't get pregnant
that summer in the ATL,
there is no way
I can have kids.
But you know
what was kind of weird?
[both] Ian.
That was gonna be my guess too.
Yeah, he was all like,
we could have the baby.
Like, we just got
back together,
and he's already talking
about having kids.
I mean, is it really "already"
when you guys have been
in each other's lives
for, like, a decade?
I mean, you did say
that you wanted
to become parents someday.
Right, someday.
But that's not today.
And how do I know
when I'm supposed to start?
And what if I wait too long,
and then I can't
have kids anymore,
and then I'm overwhelmed
with regret,
and then I spend my last
remaining dollar on QVC,
ordering creepy dolls
that I introduce to people
as my babies?
- Oh, no.
- And then
and then what if we do?
What if we do have a kid,
and we break up again?
And then now we got
to figure out custody.
And then the kids are always
gonna like the dad
more than they like the mom,
and they come to my house,
and I'm busy for the weekend,
so now they feel
that they're being neglected,
so then they grab
my credit card,
and they buy creepy dolls
off QVC that they call Mommy.
- What is up with her and QVC?
- And creepy dolls?
I see why the NuvaRing tried
to escape.
[whispering] She crazy.
Oh, I got to go.
You guys,
my doctor squeezed me in
for a refill appointment.
Tye, you should come.
Um, I don't need a NuvaRing,
nor do I need
to watch you get yours.
For a second opinion
on the transfusions.
Oh, your doctor, she cool?
She is everything.
Quinn, good luck.
Thank you.
- [Camille] Mm!
- [Tye] Good luck.
[Quinn] See you tomorrow
at my parents' vow renewal.
- [both] Mwah!
- Congratulations!
Thank you, baby.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Oh, ooh!
I got to go too!
Hallmark table read
is in an hour.
[both] Mwah!
From an unsanctioned
Broadway musical
to a Hallmark Christmas movie.
My overnight rocket ride
to stardom has become
a very, very long set of stairs
to the lower middle.
[chuckles]
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
- Love you.
- Love you.
Bye, honey.
[soft music]
[singer] I'm in a crowd
and I'm lonely ♪
Know no one's gonna come
looking for me ♪
When I get cold,
can you hold me? ♪
Hi, I'm Quinn.
[singer]
Not too many I can trust ♪
[sighs]
This is stupid.
[singer] Guess I'm scared
of falling in love ♪
[vocalizing]
[elevator dings]
Welcome to Hallmark.
[dreamy music]
♪
Welcome to Hallmark.
♪
[gasps]
[both] Welcome to Hallmark.
Mm-mm.
[woman] Hi.
I loved you in "Moesha."
Excuse me?
[whispering] She got fired.
This is her replacement.
Sorry, confession time.
I've never seen "Moesha,"
or any show.
I wasn't allowed
to watch TV as a kid,
and then my husband said
it was "hashtag canceled,"
because it gives a woman
too many ideas.
And I get that.
Hi, I'm Jami Van Horn.
[laughs uncomfortably]
Angie Wilson.
Rick Smith.
Actually, Rick Rothstein,
but audience testing
said the last name
made them uncomfortable,
and I get that.
You said someone got fired?
Uh, Countess Vaughn?
Kim Parker?
[whispering]
They fired Brandi's bestie?
Oh, not sure who any
of those people are,
but Countess said
that she could ride a bike,
and that was a lie.
[chuckles]
Who lies to Hallmark?
Oh.
Oh, that's awful.
So I guess it's good
I can ride a bike, huh?
It's great.
How else are you gonna get me
the winning Christmas cookies
that make him fall in love
with me at the end?
Right. Exactly.
How else would I do that?
Yeah, can't wait.
[laughter]
[hip-hop music]
♪
Dr. Lisbon.
- [Dr. Lisbon] Camille.
- Hi.
I understand we have
a runaway NuvaRing.
Yes, and she didn't
leave a note or nothing, so.
And I was actually thinking
of maybe changing it to an IUD,
because it's just
a little bit more stable,
and I don't see sex
between me and Ian getting
any less 3D any time soon.
Ooh, you crazy breeders.
No problem.
But just to make sure,
if you decide that you're gonna
switch to the IUD,
that means you aren't thinking
about kids
for the next three years.
Right, yes.
Uh, wait.
I don't know.
I mean, I know that we might
want them one day, someday.
Is someday less
than three years?
Yes.
Well, for Ian, probably.
But for me, maybe not
probably.
Three years.
Right. Um
You know what?
I am just gonna stick
with the NuvaRing,
and I will just be more gentle.
Done.
Anything else?
Yes.
This is my friend, Tye.
Hi, um
I was cursed
with the Holy Trinity
polyps, fibroids, cysts
and apparently,
I can't do
endless transfusions.
Yeah, it's hard for that
to be your only treatment plan.
Well, their only plan was
for me to get a hysterectomy,
and that seems a bit drastic.
Yeah, that doesn't always
have to be the first step.
Now, I haven't been
treating you,
so I'd need to know more
about your medical history.
But there could be
a less invasive treatment path
before we get to hysterectomy.
Okay, Dr. Lisbon.
No one has ever told me
that there were other options.
Thank you.
Of course.
Now, my advice is actually
the same for you both.
Start with
ovarian reserve testing
to get a sense of what
your egg counts are like.
Having a realistic picture
of what's going on
inside your body
will help you both make
more informed decisions.
Well, I'm not thinking of kids
enough to do all that.
If I had a nickel
for every time
a patient changed
their mind about family
It's not invasive.
And why agonize
over the hypothetical
when there's science?
Well, I need to do everything
that I can
before my Columbia insurance
runs out.
So I don't see a reason
not to, I guess.
Child, hell will freeze over
before my eggs do.
But no harm in a test.
Right, Doc?
I promise.
Okay.
So we're in.
- Mm-hmm.
- Unlike my NuvaRing.
And can a sister go ahead
and get that refill?
I got you.
[singer] In my shirt today ♪
Feeling real good
at a double date
I will have a mimosa.
Just a coffee for me.
That is the thing that
makes brunch not breakfast.
It's a judgment-free zone
to drink.
But I have a call
with my lawyer
about Brandon later,
and I wanna be lucid
in my hatred.
That's terrifying.
Sorry.
Oh, my God, Angie, was this
a good night
or a bad morning?
A bad career decision.
This morning, I thought
I'd take my first bike lesson
on Quinn's Peloton.
The shit killed Mr. Big,
and it nearly killed me.
I thought #MeToo
killed Mr. Big.
Why does everyone say
"it's like riding a bike"
to describe easy shit?
"It's like sucking dick."
"It's like finding
a Golden Girls rerun."
Those things are easy.
Riding a bike is not.
Actually, I would say
that riding a bike
is way easier than sucking
some dick,
if you know what I mean.
- Oh.
- Ian or Jameson?
I'm not answering that.
Ian.
I don't know much about dick,
but my money's on Jameson.
- Girl, Big-Dicked Ian.
- Intellectual Jameson.
"Did you see how she cried
over the dick" Ian.
"Have you seen his feet"
Jameson.
[Camille]
What I was going to say is,
Ian rides his bike
all the time,
and he can probably teach you.
He's a very good teacher.
I mean, the things
that he's taught me
Okay, I don't wanna hear
about all that.
But I guess I'll give it a try.
Ooh, Ian gonna be mad at you.
Mm, she ain't wrong.
Okay, are we waiting
for Quinn to order or
No, she's not coming.
She was a mess when I left.
She was practicing questions
for the Vogue interview
all night,
which is exactly
as annoying as it sounds.
Bitch, close your door.
But then we get to hear
how great she did
at her parents' vow renewal.
Ooh, unless Ian kills me
on the bike first.
- Oh, thank you.
- Ooh, thank you, child.
But that wasn't for
Mmm.
Yeah, he gonna be mad at me.
- [Tye] I told you.
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
But I don't want to.
- Look, Angie
- Ground rules.
Of course.
All right.
So first thing we got
to remember: this is a
No, bitch.
I mean my rules.
No hills, no garbage cans,
no cars,
and no letting go
without telling me.
Until I say, you holding on
with those surprisingly
chiseled arms.
Um
Girl, nobody wants Ian.
It was just an observation.
Ooh, last rule:
when I say stop,
lesson's over.
We stop.
I'm fine with all those rules.
- Okay.
- All right? But I have my own.
You gon' have
to abide by this one.
You gon' have
to wear this helmet.
Ha!
Not happening.
I picture my hair
blowing in the breeze,
you know,
not smashed under plastic.
Helmet.
Fine, helmet.
Oh.
But only because
I am a sucker
for a man who understands
the value of protecting
a woman.
Angie
Girl, nobody wants Ian.
But you smell good.
Angie, you got this.
It's gonna be great.
Okay, if your boyfriend
kills me,
I will haunt both of y'all
forever.
And not in some cute Casper
the Friendly Ghost type way,
some Conjuring
hopping-out-of-mirrors,
scare-you-to-death type shit.
I will be
your generational curse.
Relax, all right?
Hop on.
Feet are gonna go
on these pedals.
Hands right
on these handlebars.
These are your brakes
right here.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Now, we're gonna look
straight ahead.
All's we're gonna do is pedal.
- Okay.
- Easy work.
All right, I'm gonna hold on
to the back of your seat
to make sure you don't fall.
Okay, don't let go.
I'm not.
I'm right here.
All right?
Just pedal.
- I got you.
- Okay.
- Oh, shit.
- All right.
Okay.
Oh.
- Okay, got it.
- You're doing it!
- You got it, Ange!
- Don't let go.
Don't let go.
I got you.
All right.
Okay.
You let go!
- You let go!
- You're doing it!
Oh, shit!
Ah!
- [metallic crash]
- Oh!
Ooh!
[crying]
What the fuck kind of
"I got you" was that!
Girl, see, this is
why nobody wants Ian!
Look at me!
Now I'll never be
a knee model!
[screams] Oh, my God!
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
There you go.
I'm thirsty.
[Camille]
You want a juice box?
I mean, they're very
comforting for me
when I'm grading papers.
Only if it's apple.
Oh, it's apple.
Flip it like so.
Pop it in.
For you.
[Angie] Thank you.
[Camille] Angie, I am
super proud of you.
You did something that you
were scared to do today.
- I'm still gonna get fired.
- Oh, no.
Tomorrow, you're gonna get
back on that bike and learn.
All right?
I promise.
[soft music]
♪
Who the fuck eats
chunky peanut butter?
God!
Half?
Nigga, you must be crazy.
Counselor, once again,
please have Tyesha
stop addressing
my client directly
with racial epithets
and put-downs.
June, please tell
this dumb, greedy,
country-ass motherfucker's
bus-stop-bench attorney
to stop calling me Tyesha.
Requesting a sidebar
with my client.
Good idea.
Maybe you can get Tyesha
to act like an adult.
I swear to Christ, I will f
[exhales]
[whispering] Threatening
Brandon and using foul language
is not helping your case.
I know.
I'm already paying for him
to stay in a hotel
to be out of my place.
Something he didn't have
to agree to!
And I don't have to agree
to give him half of everything.
Why am I paying
your high-ass hourly rate?
I can lose this bet on my own.
Right now, half
is on the table.
But if it goes to trial,
it's an uphill battle.
In the court's eyes, you
deceived him by marrying him,
and then you abandoned him,
and you made a lot of money.
But that's not
I want to fight this.
And I get that.
But just so you know, you run
the risk
of not only losing more,
but also months,
probably years,
of my high-ass hourly rate.
Now, are you willing to risk
everything to save half?
♪
We haven't seen each other
in over a decade,
and he wants half
of everything?
Fuck!
This is why I have no interest
in the whole family thing.
They always fuck you.
Okay, okay, but breathe.
God will not give us
more than we can handle.
She did give us
the Sex and the City reboot.
Yeah.
Ms. Parks,
you're in room three.
Ms. Reynolds,
you're in room two.
[Camille] Thank you.
I have to meet
with my cousin soon,
and I don't trust that bitch
in my apartment alone.
So I'll see you
at the vow renewal?
Yeah, perfect.
[sighs] Good luck.
I'm not really sure what that
means in this circumstance,
but good luck to you, too.
So I have the results of
your ovarian reserve testing.
I am happy to report that
your results are excellent.
I'm sorry, but unfortunately,
the numbers are pretty low.
I'd say your levels are at
an ideal place
for egg freezing.
We should start taking steps
to see if biological children
will ever be an option.
[knocking on door]
Come in!
Hi.
[interviewer] Quinn Joseph!
Thanks for sharing your world.
You ready
for 73 rapid-fire questions?
I'm ready for 173.
[interviewer] I love it.
Drink of choice?
In the daytime,
a kale smoothie.
At night, a French 75.
- [interviewer] Vintage or new?
- Oh, definitely vintage.
[interviewer] Describe
your brand in three words.
Stylish, sustainable, sexy.
[interviewer] Sweet or salty?
Always sweet.
[interviewer] Name three things
that make you happy.
Ooh, my friends,
my career, and
Uh, oh, I'm sorry. I
[interviewer] It's okay.
No one gets it perfect
the first time.
I can't tell you how many times
we had to start over
with Blake Lively.
Took an entire weekend.
Right.
[laughing] Okay.
[interviewer] Let's reset!
[bleep]
[knocking]
[Quinn] Come in!
Hi.
[interviewer] Quinn Joseph,
thanks for having us!
You ready
for 73 rapid-fire questions?
I am ready like Freddie!
Ew.
Uh, that was dumb.
- Can we
- [interviewer] Yeah.
[knocking]
Describe your brand
in three words.
Um, stylish, sustainable, sexy.
[interviewer] Three things
that make you happy.
Um, my friends,
chocolate-stuffed beignets,
and
Oh, my God, why am I blanking?
[interviewer]
You said career before?
I did?
Great.
Yes.
Right. That.
[interviewer] On a scale
of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
Uh, happy?
Oh, um
Huh.
Uh
[interviewer]
Tears of happiness?
I'd say that's a 10-plus!
Oh, it is?
Um[crying]
Oh, shit, sorry, I, um
I'm not sure what's happening.
[interviewer] Should we
come back another time?
No, no, no, no, no.
I'mI'm fine.
I'm fine.
I
my girlfriend broke up with me
because I was too clingy,
you know?
So
but I don't think
that this is that.
I mean, Vogue is here,
and this
is the moment of my dreams!
But now I don't even know
why I wanted it.
So I mean, why
aren't I more happy?
[interviewer]
Usually, I ask the questions.
I'm sorry, I
I don't think I can do this.
UmCancan we cut?
Nikki, I
appreciate your help,
but could you have saged after?
[Nikki] No, we had to cleanse
Brandon's toxic energy
up in here.
Fair enough.
Shit, girl, this
is a lot of stuff!
You have to list everything?
Everything.
And if I leave anything off,
the mediators
and Brandon's lawyers
can accuse me of fraud.
The irony is, this marriage
was the fucking fraud.
Does somebody need
another cocktail?
- I know I do.
- Let's just get this done.
Write down and photograph
anything considered an asset.
Okay, so I think
this is an asset.
Maybe I should take it off your
hands,
just so another thing
you ain't got to list.
I'm not listing that.
Brandon can't have it,
and neither can you.
Grandma Florence gave me this.
Oh, Gammy Flo.
I miss her.
She gave me this necklace that
I still have for good luck.
You know, I always felt
like out of all the cousins,
we were her favorite.
You think she knew
we weredifferent?
I sometimes wonder
if she was different, too,
just born in a time when
she couldn't express it.
That would explain
a lot, actually.
[laughs]
Little Tye, wearing a dress?
Give me that!
I remember her, honey.
So much I wish
I could tell her.
Uh, yeah!
Like, "You're gay, bitch.
Don't marry some boy who's
gonna take half your shit!"
For starters.
Also, don't start
watching Lost.
They didn't think
that shit through.
Mm-hmm.
But I would also tell her
that her cousin, Nikki,
will pave the way for her
to get out of a life
she feels so stifled by.
Seriously, Nik, you letting
me crash on your couch
all those months
Oh, don't sweat it, honey.
That is what family is for.
It is.
It is.
Do you ever think about
continuing our family?
Like, having kids?
All the time.
You?
Never.
Ever. [laughs]
I mean, until recently,
I kind of always thought
it was off the table.
Off the table?
Honey, what year
are you living in?
Queer and trans people are
having children every day.
[Tye] I know!
And it's turned most brunches
into a nightmare.
Touché.
I guess I just didn't
see it for myself.
I mean, other than you
and Grandma Florence,
family hasn't been
a particular safe space for me.
[Nikki] Same.
But I like to look
at it like this.
If we don't have kids,
the progress in our family
stops with us.
You know, Gammy Flo did
what she could
- Mm-hmm.
- and we are living
her wildest dreams.
[laughs] So maybe
through our children,
we can really create
a queer, inclusive legacy.
And that ain't
nothing to sneeze at.
Mm-hmm, especially
in a Black family.
If you ask me, that alone
makes it worth it.
You know what, cousin?
You are smarter than you dress.
[laughs] Fuck you, bitch!
I look good.
Coming to my house
with fucking jeggings on.
Ah!
[guests talking indistinctly]
[soft music playing]
♪
Ooh, bitch!
You don't have
to catch the bouquet!
You are the bouquet!
Thank you, baby!
And you look
like a work of art!
Thank you.
I need to find
Quinn's ass to make her
feel guilty for how much
I paid for this damn suit.
It's worth it.
Where is this vow renewal
happening anyway?
Upstairs.
Black tie, my ass.
Want me to get you a whiskey?
Please!
All right!
Excuse me.
In no world, never.
Bartender?
See, that's not right.
You're operating
with an unfair advantage.
Oh, you work
with what you got.
How long you been waiting?
Oh, long enough.
I'm ready to start
polishing off
whatever's left
in these dirty glasses.
Ooh, that is not sanitary.
That's what she said.
[laughs]
Hey, are you above a scam?
Scams are my love language.
I'll distract the bartender.
When I do,
you liberate
one of those bottles.
And meet me out front.
Yes.
[choking] I need an EpiPen!
I'm having
an allergic reaction to
ice!
[whispering] Ice?
[coughs] Help!
Oh, my God!
Somebody help him!
Is there a problem?
Oh, I'm calling 911.
[bargoer]
Please, please, please.
[upbeat music]
Too late.
I'm already dead.
Hope you're happy.
[chuckles]
♪
And tonight, we
shall be enjoying
fuck!
Simple syrup?
You had all the liquor
in the world,
and you chose simple syrup.
I just got the one
that felt the most full,
and normally, I am
a superior heistress.
Well, if we, uh, drink it
really fast,
I guess we can try
for a sugar high.
Not feeling that.
And I don't think we can go
back into that bar.
- No.
- [both laugh]
We can take
this show on the road.
I can buy you
a drink somewhere else.
I wouldn't say no.
Okay.
Oh, bring a gift.
Don't be tacky.
26 minutes
for an Uber or a Lyft.
You having any luck?
No, but mainly because
I've been kicked off both.
[both chuckle]
Well, it's a bit of a hike
to anywhere good.
We could rent
a couple of bikes.
And my libido just plummeted.
Why does bike shit
keep haunting me?
You're not a rider, huh?
Kind of surprised to hear that.
Triggered.
Triggered.
My best friend's boyfriend
just tried to teach me,
and I nearly died.
Okay, well,
I just took you for a woman
who appreciated
sharing control.
When you're riding a bike,
that's what you're doing.
You're balancing control
between you and the bike.
Okay.
Don't let
my one-time willingness
to co-scam confuse you.
I don't like sharing control.
Then don't let my willingness
to initiate a scam confuse you.
I very much like a woman
who is in control.
Mmm.
And her libido returns.
[chuckles]
Do you like the park at night?
I've done it in worse places.
Let the adventure begin.
Mm.
[India Shawn] You can't
blame it on the alcohol
[Camille] It's often assumed
that legacy
is about the tangible things
that are left to future generations.
- Ready?
- Okay.
- Ready?
- All right.
- Okay.
- All right.
Okay, you can let go!
You can let go!
[laughs] I'm doing it!
[laughing] I'm riding a bike!
[laughs] I'm riding!
You see me?
Look, no feet! Watch this!
[laughs]
[Camille] But sometimes,
it's in the moments
we learn something new
You see me riding?
I'm riding a bike.
[laughs]
[India Shawn] And now
you can't speak ♪
I know that you weak I see ♪
I'm too sweet
I got you tongue tied ♪
[Camille] learn something
about ourselves
[India Shawn] that's why
you can't reply ♪
I'm too sweet
[cell phone buzzing]
[India Shawn]
I know that you weak I see ♪
It should be simple
[sobbing]
[India Shawn] You guys
really be on your cool shit ♪
Play games
on some new shit
[Camille]
Why don't we do more things
that cause us to get
dressed up?
We're cute.
Well, I might be cute,
but baby,
you are absolutely stunning.
- Thank you.
- Get you a drink?
Yeah, yeah.
And if you see Quinn,
just send her over.
Okay.
[Tye] Cam!
[Camille] or learn a way
to connect our past
to our futures.
You are looking
absolutely flawless.
When I come
to straight weddings,
I like to upstage the bride
- Mm-hmm.
- and groom
- Mm-hmm.
- and heteronormativity
in general.
SoDr. Lisbon.
Yes.
So how did that go?
My egg reserves
are way above average.
Even my body is
an overachiever.
She said, regardless
of treatment plan,
that I should freeze my eggs,
because it would be hard
to stop and do it midstream.
Everyone wants
us to have kids.
Right.
But the weird thing is,
I'm doing it.
Wow!
Tye, that'sthat's great!
I mean, just as a precaution,
in the event that I want
to start a family.
I mean, I doubt it, a lot.
But just in case.
It's okay.
Don't want to change your mind.
And having a family
isn't the worst thing.
Ooh!
Sounds like somebody
is in the market
for freezing some eggs.
Um, I don't know
if I can have kids.
My number count is
low or something.
Oh, no!
Cami!
Shit!
How are you handling the news?
[Camille] And sometimes
we learn legacy is
as much about what we leave
I'm not.
I don't even know
how to tell Ian.
I've cost him
68 grand and Mira.
And what, I'm just supposed
to drop this on him, too?
[Ian] Drop what on me?
[Camille]
as what we don't leave.
[Lourdiz] Please don't shoot
me down ♪
Need you more ♪
More than ever now ♪
Shoot me down ♪
Please don't shoot me down ♪
Need you more ♪
More than ever now ♪
I need to do something ♪
Hate sitting around
doing nothing ♪
Yeah I can't sit still ♪
Life just gets too real
it gives me chills ♪
All alone ♪
It gets so cold ♪
Wonder if you love me still ♪
All alone ♪
It gets so cold ♪
Shoot me down ♪
Please don't shoot me down ♪
Need you more ♪
More than ever now ♪
Shoot me down ♪
Please don't shoot me down ♪
Need you more ♪
More than ever now ♪
Dealing with something within ♪
Dealing with something within ♪
It's just the way that I am ♪
Dealing with something within ♪
Dealing with something within ♪
It's just the way that I am ♪
So why I trip ♪
Drive myself insane
every day in my head ♪
Kinda like the games
that we play ♪
I can't quit ♪
You using me using you I admit ♪
♪
Life just gets too real
it gives me chills ♪
All alone ♪
It gets so cold ♪
Wonder if you love me still ♪