Heartland (CA) s02e04 Episode Script

Previously on "Heartland" You know, Lou, I thought it was tough getting time with you before, but this is ridiculous.
Once the dude ranch is up and running.
Yeah.
You'll have all the time in the world.
Alone time.
Say that.
Alone time.
Hey.
It's nice seeing you again.
Dance? No.
You got no idea what Amy can do.
Well, I fully intend to find out.
Count on it.
See Ray's still running those longhorns.
He's got a thousand head of whiteface, and he cares more about those two.
A lot of things are different.
And whose fault is that? [Alarm clock sounds.]
All right, guys! Everybody up! Let's go! Everyone wake up! Breakfast! You snooze, you lose, guys! Come on! Everybody up! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! What do you think I should call him, Lou? A good friend, a fine friend, or an old friend? How about a friend of a friend? How about a mars best friend? - The works? - Yes.
You're good.
All right.
Why can't Copper come? We have to make sure that Lou's trail horses are suitable for any dude to ride.
Am I like a guinea pig? No.
We're all doing it, Mallory.
It's like taking the horses for a test drive.
Whoa.
Except you can't even reach the pedals.
Hey! Come on, people.
Hurry hard.
Hey, Ty, what's the holdup? I guess not.
It's Betty.
She won't go anywhere without Slick.
So load them together.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
Actually, I'm not late.
You all are early.
Are we in a rush? Well, Lou's got a kind of drill-sergeant thing going here.
Oh, all right.
Oh, you got a new saddle.
Look at it.
It's called the E-Z Gallop.
It's got water and snack pockets.
Look at all the extra padding.
And the ad says it's like riding on pillows.
And it's doctor-recommended for arthritis.
You don't have arthritis.
No.
I bought it for you.
All right, people! We're rolling! Wow.
They're gone.
And at the break of day You sank into your dream You dreamer You dreamer You dreamer Ray was a fine rancher, a valued friend, and a good neighbor.
Started cowboying way back and stayed at it for 50-some-odd years.
There's nothing Ray enjoyed more than, well, aggravating a cow.
I saw him throw a rope on one just to hear it bellow.
Last time we spoke, he mentioned something about leaving me his longhorns.
I thought, "You son of a gun.
You pawning those two grass guzzlers off on me while you go sun yourself in Phoenix.
" Turns out he was talking about his will.
Well, a couple weeks after that, his daughter, Callie, calls.
Now, I know that he would have been tickled to see all of you here at what we're calling the First Annual Ray Phillips Memorial Spring Cattle Drive.
All right! Yeah! So let's mount up, and we'll head on out.
- All right! - Yeah, let's go! Well, we'll have to introduce you at some point.
- Here we go! - Oh, yeah! [Cows low.]
Let's go.
Ya! Let's go! Get! Go on! Ya! Come on.
Come on.
Ya! [Cell phone rings.]
Marnie.
Hey.
Yeah.
I haven't heard from you in ages.
Uh-huh.
I'd love to go for lunch.
Mmm, yeah, today's not so good, though, because, well, my whole day's kind of booked.
You know what, Marnie? I actually have to go.
Yeah.
That all-day booking thing just showed up.
Okay.
Look, I promise I'll call you.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Bye.
You sure they all went? I wrangled them into their trucks myself.
Oh, yeah? You're not expecting any clients or problem horses? No.
The decks are clear.
How about any deliveries? Interior decorators? Mmm-mmm.
Everything is under control.
How about bankers coming to foreclose the mortgage? I am all yours.
So What are we waiting for? Champagne? Are you trying to get me drunk at 9:00 in the morning? I was thinking maybe later, like 9:30 or 10:00! LISA: Well, how's that saddle breaking in for you? No offense, but I'm kind of partial to my old one.
Really? Well, what was all that complaining about your arthritis kicking in after the fall round-up? I didn't complain.
I just mentioned it.
Well, you're gonna notice a huge difference after a couple hours on the trail in the rain, let me tell you.
I'm already noticing.
I'm the only cowboy here riding on a couch.
Figured that's what you and Tim must have been giggling about back there.
No, we werert.
We were talking about real estate.
Well, I don't see the connection between my saddle and real estate.
Jack.
What? Well, they're both about protecting your assets.
[Laughs.]
[Both laugh.]
[Cell phone rings.]
Oh, come on, Scott.
You got to be kidding me.
I told you, Lou.
I'm on call.
Actually, you didn't.
You told me that you had your whole day cleared.
I tried.
But vets tend to be busy this time of year.
Is there a time of year when they're not busy? I got to take this call, Lou.
Scott here.
Yes.
Right.
I'm on my way.
I swear I'll be back as soon as I can.
I had the whole day planned, Scott.
I promise I'll make it up to you.
You better.
Call you.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Marnie.
Yeah, it turns out that all-day thing didn't take quite as long as I thought it would.
[Cows low.]
CALEB: Left hand, like so.
Just remember to hold the coils so they're all in order, or else they'll all get snarled.
Right hand, you got to adjust for distance depending on the job.
And just remember, it does whatever your hand does.
Just a little bigger.
Not so fast there, cowboy.
[Horse neighs.]
Oh, oh, what's wrong with that horse? Something I said? No.
I don't know.
He just keeps wanting to turn back.
Well, maybe he just wants to ride drag and eat dust like your friend Ty.
Eat my dust, cowboy.
I'll admit, he does look pretty good on a horse.
So, what's the problem? It's just that when he's not on a horse, when he's on his own two feet Even when he was wearing cowboy boots.
You know, the ones with heels? Looking good on a horse isn't everything, Mallory.
[Laughter.]
No, of course it's not.
And riding, roping.
Anyone with half a brain can throw a rope.
Even you learned.
Hi.
Hey, Jack, I never figured you for such a high-tech guy.
I'm just keeping up with the times.
Lisa was telling me that that saddle's made of the same stuff they use in the space shuttle.
That's a half-inch of fast-recovery foam.
Fast recovery, huh.
We can use it to recover from all the jokes people are making about that saddle.
Hey, Tim, you Have you met Callie? Callie's Ray's daughter.
Just came up from Calgary.
Come on, Lisa.
Hi, Callie.
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
I mean, under the circumstances Oh, don't say, "Sorry for your loss," please.
Well, actually, it hadrt entered my mind.
But now that you mention it.
You know, my father would have loved this.
For the life of me, I cannot understand what it is about riding in the rain for two days that you cowboys seem to like.
Well, it depends who you're riding with.
[Callie laughs.]
I'm glad your all-day whatever bailed, Lou.
Because ever since I saw your website Heartland Equestrian Connection I love it.
You're the first person who hasn't called it a dude ranch.
Team building.
Working through trust issues.
Using the horse to balance mind, body, and spirit.
What does that have to do with taking dudes on trail rides? Finally someone who gets it.
That's one of the reasons I wanted us to get together.
I guess you already have a caterer.
I mean, a real caterer.
We haven't budgeted for a full-time person yet.
Have you thought about event catering? Weddings? Birthdays? Family reunions? Yeah, we don't have anything quite like that booked yet.
Our first guests don't arrive for another week.
And it's just a couple.
But when business gets rolling I think I would be a perfect fit.
Mm-hmm.
Although I don't really fit into much these days, what with the baby on the way.
You're pregnant? You just thought I got fat? No.
Okay, yeah.
But I didn't want to say anything.
We're due in the winter.
Oh, Marnie, I'm so happy for you.
That is so great.
[Cell phone rings.]
I got to go.
I got I'm so sorry.
It's Scott.
Wow.
The rumors are true.
You two finally got together.
Yeah, I'II I'll get back to you on that.
[Cows low.]
Get them in the water.
Here we go.
Ah, you know, I think this could be just a bit above my skill level.
No, the water's only gonna come up to his knees.
You'll be fine.
No.
I've been behind a desk for years in Calgary.
Why don't I just walk him across? Why don't you just give me your leg? Excuse me? Your leg.
My leg? - Give me your leg.
- Okay.
- Put it in my stirrup.
- Yeah.
- Give me your hand.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And up.
Ah! Woo! - There you go.
- Okay.
Just like that.
- Ah! - Hang on tight.
Something tells me you've done this before.
Once or twice.
- Hang on tight.
- Okay.
Your dad's a legend on the circuit.
Well, you ready to get back on your horse? Really? Man, this cattle-drive thing was just getting good.
Be careful.
Hey, your friend back there What's his deal? Afraid to get his feet wet? You just never know when to quit, do you? Whoa, whoa whoa, easy.
What, is she afraid of water? No, it's more like she doesn't know which way is which.
Come on, girl.
Let's go.
Seems okay now.
Yeah, it's all good.
How was she on the trail? Pretty clumsy.
Figured I was doing something wrong.
Easy.
It's not you.
This horse is blind.
Look out! [Honks horn.]
Damn it.
Sorry.
Well, good news is, no damage done.
Oh, yeah? Tell that to my osteopath.
Oh, please.
You've been carping about that neck of yours for years.
Well, at least I can turn my head.
Which is more than I can say for you.
Maybe next time you should watch where you're going.
Me? You came out of nowhere.
I told him, "Keep your eye on the road and slow down.
" Connie, I got two words for you Butt out.
Yeah, well, I have two words for you.
Can you figure out what they are, darling? Let's see"Not tonight"? You've been using those two words a lot lately.
How about "not ever"? Okay! Enough! Hi.
Can you please do me a favor and move your stupid little green car out of my way? Whatever happened to Western hospitality? Yeah, too bad I learned my people skills in New York City.
Now, move your damn car.
Well, she does pretty well for a blind horse.
Sort of explains everything, doesn't it? Yeah, except for what are we gonna do now? Well The way Betty glues herself to Slick, as long as we don't separate them, we'll be fine.
What about your roping lessons? I'm just saying.
Well, don't.
Are you sure you don't want to take a break? What's the point of the fancy saddle if you got to keep taking breaks? We could go right there.
Get out of this driving rain for a moment.
You know you've got trail mix and water in your saddle.
I don't need a break.
I don't need a rest.
I don't need nuts or berries.
I still got lots of miles in me.
Okay, I don't.
I need a bathroom.
- Well, why didn't you say so? - I did.
But ever since I gave you that saddle, you hear what you want to hear.
Oh, I get it.
Now I'm hard of hearing? Oh, dear Lord.
[Doorbell rings.]
Why is he ringing the doorbell? Come in.
[Doorbell rings.]
You know you don't have to ring the door bell, sweetie.
You can just come on in 'cause the door's always open.
Oh.
You know, even though I moved to Calgary right after high school, I think I'm really gonna miss all this.
Well, you don't have to.
You just inerited a big chunk of land.
I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but I don't think I'm really cut out for ranching.
Well, as foreman, I can run the day-to-day.
You just have to write the checks.
Now, you make that sound tempting.
Truth is, even before my father died, I was fielding offers.
Developers.
I know my dad wouldn't agree, but There's an awful lot more money in subdivisions than there is in cattle ranching.
So, I'm fired.
You're not gonna hold that against me, are you? Well, we'll have to see about that.
Yes, it's true.
Kevin and Connie Miltown.
It's "Milton.
" Milton.
You do have a reservation.
For next weekend.
Next weekend? So, why are we here this weekend? Oh, like you never make a mistake? I did once.
I would be more than happy to honor your reservation.
Next weekend.
We're spelunking in Jasper next weekend.
Unless someone got that wrong, too.
Look on the bright side, Kev.
It'll make for an amusing post on my blog.
Your blog? Pros 'r Connies.
The travel blog? Yeah.
I get a zillion hits a week.
Zillions.
Yeah.
I'm always on the lookout for new material.
So, let's say you showed up a week early and the friendly gal at the front desk bent over backwards to help you out? Not really much of a story.
Yeah, bending over backwards is what the hospitality industry is all about.
So, what if I comped you the whole weekend for the inconvenience? You know, free.
Gratis.
Wow.
Something like that would never happen in Toronto.
You're right, Kev.
That would make a wonderful story.
Especially if you included an upgrade.
Upgrade? Yeah.
Definitely.
Upgrade.
[Cows low.]
Do you hear that? I don't hear anything.
Cows.
Sounds like the herd's just up ahead.
Hey, if you want to catch up with what's his name, it's okay.
Who? Caleb? I just meant I don't want to hold you back if you and him are I don't believe you.
I'm just trying to make this easy, Amy.
No, you're not.
You're trying to make me feel bad for hanging out with Caleb.
But you can leave for, what, four months and not even say good-bye? Come on, Amy.
You know it was about my dad.
No, I don't.
I don't know anything.
I don't know anything about your dad, about you.
You never even bothered to tell me.
Yeah, just tell him the bull calves are gonna have to stay bulls until tomorrow.
Yeah.
Not today.
Tomorrow.
I can see someone got a head start on the champagne.
Oh, uh I wasrt expecting company.
Neither was Lou.
But she's made us feel more than welcome.
Oh, a welcome bouquet.
What a wonderful touch.
Yeah, that's Lou.
She's very welcoming.
I'm just gonna nip out and have a little conversation with her.
Oh, she's at the cabins.
Wow.
An authentic native guide? They got everything here.
This is crazy.
We have to get rid of them, Lou.
I tried to get rid of them, Scott, but they're bloggers.
A bad rep in the blogosphere could be a death sentence.
Yeah, well, they're drinking my champagne.
That is the least of my worries.
What am I gonna do when they're finished drinking your champagne? Amy and Grandpa took the trail-ride horses.
I have nothing to feed them.
And as for the authentic Western experience, what am I gonna do? Have them muck out the barn? - That's right.
- Remember that? I remember that.
That is.
Who's up for some branding and castrating? That might be almost too authentic.
But we're willing to try anything.
Have you ever tried prairie oysters? No.
But we both love seafood.
Don't we, Kev? Love it.
How about a game of crazy eights? You've got to help me.
What's the problem? Well, there's gonna be music.
And once the music starts, Jake's gonna ask me to dance.
So you're gonna avoid the issue instead of telling him the truth? Worked for you.
I mean, why haven't you told Amy the truth why you really left? It's complicated.
Of course, another huge complicated issue that no one can possibly ever talk about.
Okay.
Maybe I didn't handle things as well as I could have.
Well, you have the rest of your life to deal with that, right? Oh, my God! There he is! Marnie, hey.
Yeah, it's Lou.
Listen, about that catering Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, not so much next week.
More like right now.
Listen, I don't care what you make.
But if it could be authentic Western cuisine, that would be a huge bonus.
Mmm-hmm.
Hey, I hear you got yourself a blind horse.
Yeah.
Figured it out when Ty had some trouble getting across the river.
Sort of like your friend.
Oh, Ray's daughter? Callie? She fired me.
Really? Hm.
You were let go.
See, from where I was, it looked like she was holding on pretty tight.
Yeah.
Honey, you know, we've never really talked about It's been a Like, for me I just I like her.
Even though she fired you? Well, especially 'cause she fired me.
I mean, the last person you want to go dating is your boss, right? I guess.
What, you came here to ask me if it's okay? Well, it's as new to me as it is to you, and I just met the woman.
So, I don't think we need to get all worked up about it.
Would it be okay? [Laughs.]
Whatever.
This is already way too much information for me.
Well, that was certainly an eye-opener.
Oh, hey.
Thanks to Scott, we know that prairie oysters ain't from the sea.
That's great.
How 'bout you guys take a breather over by the fire? And dinner will be ready any minute.
Okay.
Dinner? What are you talking about? Just make them a sandwich and send them to bed.
Where do you want me to set up, Lou? Oh, just right there.
What are you waiting for, Scott? There's hors d'oeuvres rotting in the truck.
And that mud pie's not gonna walk here on its own.
Listen.
I'm sorry, but we need to talk.
I need to talk.
There's problems.
A million problems.
Like I'm Aries.
You're Pisces.
You're not a big talker.
I'm a talkaholic.
You're a little bit country.
I'm a little bit rock 'r roll.
You're too short.
I'll grow.
Want to dance? After you.
Well, I got to say, I'm surprised you're still here, given your opinion on ranching and cowboys.
I said I wasrt interested in cows.
I didn't say anything about cowboys.
Well, what about unemployed cowboys? It's not a problem.
So, you're about to make a killing in real estate.
Arert you worried that one of those unemployed cowboys might take advantage of you? That's exactly what I was hoping for.
Um Well, then, I guess the next thing I should do is ask you to dance.
But my daughter's over there, and she's got issues.
Okay, I've never danced in a trailer before, but I'll give it a whirl.
You want to turn in early? What are you getting at, Lisa? You think I can't stay up past 9:00? No.
I didn't say that.
Well, maybe not.
But you have been treating me like a relic of the Old West ever since you bought me that ridiculous saddle.
Jack, that's what I do.
I fuss.
I worry.
I buy inappropriate gifts.
That's just what I do with someone I love.
Someone you? Well, you're never gonna say it.
But that's not gonna stop me.
I'm gonna tell you how I - Mmm.
- Wow.
Mmm.
That was delicious.
Best mud pie I've ever eaten.
Can I offer you another slice? Well Uh, we have a lot of blogging to do, don't we, honey? High-speed? Out here? You got to be kidding.
That's what it said on the website.
Free Wi-Fi? I have dial-up in my office.
See you guys at breakfast? Mmm, huevos rancheros.
Hasta la vista.
So, you two Long-term relationship? Jack's got some pretty sweet moves.
Yeah.
That little slide thing he does is cute.
He's a pretty awesome guy.
That night in Calgary, he really saved my butt.
Okay.
You want to know about my dad? For pretty much my whole life, he's been in and out of prison.
When I was a kid, we used to go and visit him.
He used to teach me all this neat stuff.
I thought he was a magician.
He was pretty good at making stuff disappear.
Cards.
Money.
Himself when the money was gone.
So, if you knew all this, then why did you go see him? I don't know.
I Maybe it was because of you.
Because of me? What you said about second chances.
There was a guy in Vancouver, my dad said, that had offered him a job, and I wanted to believe him.
But there was no job.
He used my money to get into a hard-core poker game.
So, then, why did you stick around? He's my dad, Amy.
I couldn't just leave him there.
So, we came back to Calgary.
- I got a job working construction.
- You were in Calgary? Ty, Calgary's an hour away.
I know.
I should have called you.
I should have told you what was going on, but Amy, I didn't want to lie.
There was only one thing that I ever wanted to say to you.
But I wasrt sure you still wanted to hear it.
I should go check on the cows.
It's my shift.
Ty.
[Laughs.]
I would love to stay and talk some more, but I've really got to spend some time with Jerry.
With our crazy schedules, it's a miracle we even managed to get pregnant.
Well, it's about to get a lot crazier.
Because next week we actually open for business.
Well, no worries.
I'll always be here for you.
Thanks.
All right.
See you.
Come here.
Finally.
I thought she'd never leave.
What are you doing? Well, I guess I'll be going, too.
What? We've been waiting all day for this.
Well, I got to get up pretty early.
And to be honest, I don't know what the point is.
You don't, do you? I think you do.
You know what I mean.
Once you get your dude ranch going, we might as well just call it in.
That could be fun.
I'm not joking, Lou.
I'm always your second priority.
I always come second.
That is not true.
Two total strangers show up and you just drop everything? What was I supposed to do? Kick them out.
Yeah, my first clients? Lou, you don't get it.
I didn't sign up to be the traditional native guide for your hotel.
Is that what this is about? You know that was a one-time thing.
Today was a one-time thing.
How is that my fault? Our one chance to spend some time together.
You couldn't even take a single lousy day off.
I don't know about this, Lou.
What don't you know about? I love you.
But we got to do something, or this is all gonna fall apart.
I love you, too.
Maybe we should take a break.
Maybe we should get married.
Married? [Cows low.]
You're late.
What have you been doing? Not much.
You know, I think I'll go see what Amy's doing, 'cause I'm betting not much either.
'Cause if it would have been me back there with her Hey, forget it, okay? Well, I wouldn't have left her in the lurch to come water a bunch of cows.
I'm warning you, man.
And more than likely, she'd be begging me to stay.
[Cows low.]
Stop! Oh, man.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Cows low.]
Oh, my God! All right, all right, everybody.
Just keep it down.
Keep it down.
Don't get them running.
Let's push them back to the pen.
Nice and easy here.
You got to wonder where our so-called trail boss is.
[Cows low.]
TIM: What? Hand me my hat.
Hey, get out of here! You're leaving? Now? Ugh! That's exactly why I hate ranching.
Hey, you're okay, girl.
Your friend's right here.
There you go.
[Cows low.]
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on.
Come on.
Coming your way, Lis! I got them! I got them! Whoo! All right! Got it.
MALLORY: Whoa! Way to go! Oh, my God, Jake! Jake! That's got to be pretty well it.
I don't get it.
How did the cows get out? Exactly what I was wondering.
- It was the gate.
It just swung open.
- One of the panels came loose.
What happened to you? I got kicked by a cow.
Oh.
That same high-kicking cow tear your shirt? No, it was one of them damn longhorns.
I nearly got gored.
Yeah, well, word to the wise, boys, not that either of you qualify, but a man likes to enjoy a peaceful sleep knowing he won't be woken up in the middle of the night by a bunch of runaway cows.
You get my drift? You want us to stay out here? Well, there still might be some stragglers coming in, yeah.
All night? Well, I don't mean all day.
Figure the two of you are full of enough bull you can keep yourselves entertained until morning.
No, I am not flipping out, Marnie.
I am flipping eggs.
I am flipping tortillas.
I'm flipping them onto plates.
But I'm not flipping out.
Cilantro? But I don't have any cilantro! Well, what kind of substitution? Italian parsley? Huevos rancheros isn't that Mexican? What does Italian parsley have to do with anything? Anyway, it doesn't matter because I don't have any.
Something green? Now, that I can handle.
Has to be edible? Why didn't you say so? Why does this have to be so complicated? Why can't I just open a can, open a jar, put it on some corn tortillas and call it a day? Actually, it doesn't look that bad.
Tastes pretty good, too.
Turns out I didn't miss the cilantro after all.
Thanks, Marnie.
Bye.
- So you're sure about this? - Yeah.
It's a big decision.
I'm good with it.
No strings attached.
Hey.
You're forgetting something.
What's that? Well, I don't have your number.
Ah.
Sure.
Let's keep in touch.
Hey, it's Tim.
Just keeping in touch.
So, how was the cattle drive? It was okay.
Just okay? It was great.
It was the best damn cattle drive in the history of the entire world.
You would have hated it.
Stampedes.
Fist fights.
Ty got kicked in the face by a cow.
And don't even get me started on the toilets.
Hey, Lou! Are those the horses? Is it time for the trail ride? I'm so excited! I can't wait! Lou? My first guests.
They just showed up.
A week early.
Hey there, cowboy.
What about your weekend with Scott? You knew? Hard to miss.
It didn't quite work out according to plan.
So who's ready to ride the range? This will be great for my blog.
- Let's hit the trail! - Yee-haw! You know, Callie, about last night, I It wasrt exactly something I was looking for, but It was nice.
It was a nice surprise.
Yeah, but people are gonna talk.
Yeah, no.
It looks really bad.
Gonna say I was using you.
And were you? Well, if you get to know me better, you probably won't have to ask that question.
Yeah? And whers that going to start? I think it just did.
You sure about this? I am sure.
You're right.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It's a ridiculous saddle.
It's got all the bells and whistles.
One thing you don't need is more bells and whistles.
Hey.
Hey, Jack.
Yeah Jack, I got to thank you for introducing me to Callie.
My pleasure.
Yeah, it must have been something you said about those longhorns, because, well, I just couldn't stand to see them left behind.
You bought Ray's longhorns? I bought the longhorns.
Yeah.
And Callie sold me the whole damn outfit.
I got to tell the girls.
Well.
Is it won'th a minute of it? So, what's gonna happen now? Well, I guess as long as we don't separate them, they'll be fine.
Is it won'th a minute of it? Are you won'th a minute of my love? I was talking about the horses.
Yeah, me too.
Maybe I don't care Maybe I don't care I just want to be each other's Maybe I don't care Maybe I don't care I just want to be each other's Maybe I don't care Maybe I don't care I just want to be each other's