Henry Danger (2014) s02e04 Episode Script
One Henry, Three Girls: Part 2
1 [ Music .]
So, drop those pants because it's time for "Toilet Wars.
" Come on, please? Just do it.
No.
Why not? Piper, I said no and no means no, okay? I don't have time for this, okay? Why not? I have a girlfriend.
I have a job.
What are you talking about? [ yelling all at once .]
[ screaming .]
Dad, will you talk to him? Look what I'm painting.
It's called a "g'nome".
It's gorgeous.
Now will you please tell Henry that he should coach my basketball team? The Woodpeckers need a new coach? Yes.
I'll do it.
No.
Gross.
We want you.
Oh.
No.
[ doorbell rings .]
I'll get it.
Henry.
I have to pay attention to the opening of our front door.
Sushi Dushi.
Hey.
I think I left my wallet upstairs.
Well, go get it.
Right.
Hey.
Yo.
Sushi guy.
Yeah, what's up? Can you believe I have a brother who refuses to coach my basketball team? Piper, this guy doesn't care about us or your basketball team.
Actually, I care very much.
See? He cares.
Why do you care? Well, because my kid brother, Ricky, when he was ten, he asked me to coach his little league baseball team.
But I said I was too busy, like a fool.
Dad, the sushi guy's waiting! So, what happened? Ricky quit baseball.
So, what happened? Ricky quit baseball.
Then, when he turned 18, Ricky quit baseball.
Then, when he turned 18, he became a bull fighter.
Then, when he turned 18, he became a bull fighter.
Okay, see? he became a bull fighter.
Okay, see? That's exciting.
Okay, see? That's exciting.
Things turned out good.
That's exciting.
Things turned out good.
No.
Things turned out good.
No.
Because on Ricky's very first No.
Because on Ricky's very first bull fight, he got gored.
Because on Ricky's very first bull fight, he got gored.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? bull fight, he got gored.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? Eh, he's sort of okay.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? Eh, he's sort of okay.
As long Eh, he's sort of okay.
As long as he's not sitting down.
As long as he's not sitting down.
Or standing up.
as he's not sitting down.
Or standing up.
Poor kid.
Or standing up.
Poor kid.
Oh, why didn't I just say yes Poor kid.
Oh, why didn't I just say yes when he asked me Oh, why didn't I just say yes when he asked me to coach his team? [ blows whistle .]
Come on, Woodpeckers! Show me some hustle! What's that, a taco salad? Yeah.
Okay, now let's see a lay-up! Yeah.
Okay, now let's see a lay-up! What? Okay, now let's see a lay-up! What? [ mumbling .]
What? [ mumbling .]
[ blows whistle .]
[ mumbling .]
[ blows whistle .]
Catch! [ blows whistle .]
Catch! [ grunts .]
Catch! [ grunts .]
Whoa! [ grunts .]
Whoa! [ grunting .]
Whoa! [ grunting .]
[ groaning .]
Aw.
Dang it.
Why would you put your taco salad Why would you put your taco salad right where I'm sitting? It all just kind of happened.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
Ah! he made me indestructible.
Ah! I went into this crazy store Ah! I went into this crazy store and met I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.
and met a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.
who call me the good citizens of Swellview.
who call me He turned out to be who call me He turned out to be You know the name.
He turned out to be You know the name.
Captain Man! You know the name.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
It is done.
secret sidekick.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tube! Oh, my boot.
Ha! We're back.
Hey.
How was your camping trip? Oh, it was so much fun.
I went swimming in Lake Swellview.
Yeah.
Which would've been great if he'd brought a swimsuit.
What's wrong with swimming naked? You were scaring the fish.
I'm going to my room and shave off my beard.
[ laughs .]
You call that a beard? Yeah.
What else would I call this? You could call it a face bush.
I'm just saying this is the start of a real man's beard.
Pish.
I can grow more hair on my rump than you can grow I can grow more hair on my rump than you can grow on your face.
on my rump than you can grow on your face.
Your rump is no match on your face.
Your rump is no match for my face.
Your rump is no match for my face.
All right, boys, for my face.
All right, boys, let's not go getting all stupid.
All right, boys, let's not go getting all stupid.
You guys should have let's not go getting all stupid.
You guys should have a beard battle.
You guys should have a beard battle.
Yes.
a beard battle.
Yes.
Dude.
Yes.
Dude.
Six weeks.
Dude.
Six weeks.
Whoever grows Six weeks.
Whoever grows the biggest beard wins.
Whoever grows the biggest beard wins.
And the loser has to the biggest beard wins.
And the loser has to Eat the winner's beard hair.
And the loser has to Eat the winner's beard hair.
It's a bet.
Eat the winner's beard hair.
It's a bet.
No, no, see, I said It's a bet.
No, no, see, I said don't go getting all stupid.
Okay.
You guys are the Woodpeckers.
And everyone says You guys are the Woodpeckers.
And everyone says you're the worst team And everyone says you're the worst team in the league.
you're the worst team in the league.
No, no, no.
in the league.
No, no, no.
See, no, that's a bad thing.
No, no, no.
See, no, that's a bad thing.
See, you just have See, no, that's a bad thing.
See, you just have to practice hard See, you just have to practice hard and have a winning attitude to practice hard and have a winning attitude in order to not be the worst.
and have a winning attitude in order to not be the worst.
So, what's our goal? To get less worse? Sure, okay, I'll take that.
Come on, guys.
Sure, okay, I'll take that.
Come on, guys.
Let's get Come on, guys.
Let's get Less worse? Let's get Less worse? Louder.
Less worse? Louder.
Let's get Louder.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! On your feet! Less worse! On your feet! Everybody up! On your feet! Everybody up! Let's get Everybody up! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! [ blows whistle .]
Yeah.
Be maniacs.
Maniacs on the floor.
[ blows whistle .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunting .]
Sophie! [ blows whistle .]
[ blows whistle .]
Piper! Perfect! [ blows whistle .]
Come on, Woodpeckers! Be maniacs! Be maniacs on the floor! Be maniacs! Be maniacs on the floor! Boom! Yeah! [ grunts .]
Time out, time out, time out.
[ grunts .]
Time out, time out, time out.
Whistle! Time out, time out, time out.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Time out Woodpeckers! [ blows whistle .]
Time out Woodpeckers! Okay, what's wrong Time out Woodpeckers! Okay, what's wrong with you guys? Okay, what's wrong with you guys? We're only down by three.
with you guys? We're only down by three.
Well, you'd be winning We're only down by three.
Well, you'd be winning if you'd listen Well, you'd be winning if you'd listen to what I keep telling you.
if you'd listen to what I keep telling you.
Now, Jacob, you got to what I keep telling you.
Now, Jacob, you got to protect the ball, all right? Now, Jacob, you got to protect the ball, all right? Okay.
to protect the ball, all right? Okay.
And Hannah, Okay.
And Hannah, when we have the ball, And Hannah, when we have the ball, you can't just stand there.
when we have the ball, you can't just stand there.
Get open.
you can't just stand there.
Get open.
Got it.
Get open.
Got it.
Now, Piper, Got it.
Now, Piper, you got to quit being lazy Now, Piper, you got to quit being lazy on defense, all right? you got to quit being lazy on defense, all right? Move your feet.
on defense, all right? Move your feet.
[ horn blares .]
Move your feet.
[ horn blares .]
Whistle! [ horn blares .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Woodpeckers, take the floor! [ blows whistle .]
Woodpeckers, take the floor! All right, get out there Woodpeckers, take the floor! All right, get out there and make me proud! All right, get out there and make me proud! Let's go! Hey! Woodpecker parents! I want to see you get up and make some noise I want to see you get up and make some noise for your kids! and make some noise for your kids! Come on! for your kids! Come on! [ cheering .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
[ cheering .]
Piper, steal it! Yeah.
No, no, no! That basket! That basket! [ cheering .]
[ horn blares .]
Uhhello? Hello, Henry.
Hi.
Hello, Henry.
Hi.
I got a message telling me Hi.
I got a message telling me to come here.
I got a message telling me to come here.
We know.
to come here.
We know.
We sent the message.
We know.
We sent the message.
We're the board.
We sent the message.
We're the board.
The board? We're the board.
The board? The Swellview Tween The board? The Swellview Tween Athletic Board.
The Swellview Tween Athletic Board.
STAB.
Athletic Board.
STAB.
We're in charge STAB.
We're in charge of the junior basketball league.
We're in charge of the junior basketball league.
Please, sit down.
Is it okay if I just stand? We prefer you sit.
Could I have a bigger chair? [ all .]
No.
Did did I really do something wrong? Well, we don't like did I really do something wrong? Well, we don't like the word "wrong.
" Well, we don't like the word "wrong.
" But yes.
the word "wrong.
" But yes.
You did something wrong.
Come on, Woodpeckers! Be maniacs! Maniacs on the floor! Be maniacs! Maniacs on the floor! Boom! Maniacs on the floor! Boom! Yeah? Boom! Yeah? You can't shout Yeah? You can't shout at children like that.
You can't shout at children like that.
It could cause them at children like that.
It could cause them to feel bad about themselves.
It could cause them to feel bad about themselves.
But they didn't feel bad.
to feel bad about themselves.
But they didn't feel bad.
They won, and they were But they didn't feel bad.
They won, and they were really excited about it.
They won, and they were really excited about it.
Show him the other thing.
Hey! Woodpecker parents! I want to see you get up and make some noise I want to see you get up and make some noise for your kids! and make some noise for your kids! Come on! for your kids! Come on! I I don't get it.
Come on! I I don't get it.
Clearly.
I I don't get it.
Clearly.
Henry, you were urging Clearly.
Henry, you were urging the parents to cheer Henry, you were urging the parents to cheer for their children.
the parents to cheer for their children.
Loudly.
for their children.
Loudly.
So? Loudly.
So? Well, when they're cheering So? Well, when they're cheering for their own children, Well, when they're cheering for their own children, that could make for their own children, that could make the other children that could make the other children feel less than.
the other children feel less than.
I I was just trying feel less than.
I I was just trying to teach the kids I I was just trying to teach the kids to play better and win.
to teach the kids to play better and win.
Well, that's not what to play better and win.
Well, that's not what a good coach does.
Well, that's not what a good coach does.
I think it is.
a good coach does.
I think it is.
The goal is I think it is.
The goal is for all the children to have The goal is for all the children to have the exact same experience.
for all the children to have the exact same experience.
So, please, the exact same experience.
So, please, no more shouting or criticizing.
So, please, no more shouting or criticizing.
Only say no more shouting or criticizing.
Only say nice positive things.
Only say nice positive things.
All right, got it.
nice positive things.
All right, got it.
And no more encouraging All right, got it.
And no more encouraging the parents to hoot and holler.
And no more encouraging the parents to hoot and holler.
So the parents to hoot and holler.
So the parents can't cheer So the parents can't cheer for their own kids? the parents can't cheer for their own kids? Correct.
for their own kids? Correct.
But they can applaud softly.
Correct.
But they can applaud softly.
Like this.
Okay.
Thank you for your time.
[ elevator dings .]
[ chatter .]
I told you [ chatter .]
I told you that poor crazy girl.
I told you that poor crazy girl.
[ laughs .]
Schwoz! Ah! Hi.
Hey there.
Hey.
Cheater.
You're a dirty cheater.
Cheater.
You're a dirty cheater.
Why is he a cheater? You're a dirty cheater.
Why is he a cheater? That machine is a B.
E.
D.
Why is he a cheater? That machine is a B.
E.
D.
A beard enhancement device.
That machine is a B.
E.
D.
A beard enhancement device.
No it's not, I swear.
A beard enhancement device.
No it's not, I swear.
I swear to the gods it's not.
No it's not, I swear.
I swear to the gods it's not.
I swear on my life.
I swear to the gods it's not.
I swear on my life.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I swear on my life.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I'm telling the truth.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I'm telling the truth.
No, you're lying.
I'm telling the truth.
No, you're lying.
Ah, so what? No, you're lying.
Ah, so what? You listen to me, Ah, so what? You listen to me, you fuzzy little cheater, I-- You listen to me, you fuzzy little cheater, I-- Hey! you fuzzy little cheater, I-- Hey! Nobody said there was Hey! Nobody said there was a rule against using Nobody said there was a rule against using beard enhancement devices.
a rule against using beard enhancement devices.
Ha! beard enhancement devices.
Ha! Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Ha! Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Fine.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Fine.
I thought we were having Okay.
Fine.
I thought we were having a fair and natural beard growing I thought we were having a fair and natural beard growing contest, but since we're not, a fair and natural beard growing contest, but since we're not, maybe I'll just use contest, but since we're not, maybe I'll just use this thing myself.
maybe I'll just use this thing myself.
Hey, get out of my machine.
this thing myself.
Hey, get out of my machine.
No.
Hey, get out of my machine.
No.
Hey.
No.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
Come on.
Here we go.
Hey.
Come on.
Here we go.
No.
Ah! Come on.
Here we go.
No.
Ah! No, not the beard.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Traveling! [ blows whistle .]
Traveling! Armadillo's ball! Traveling! Armadillo's ball! Come on, Jacob! Armadillo's ball! Come on, Jacob! I told you a thousand times Come on, Jacob! I told you a thousand times that I told you a thousand times that [ clears throat .]
that [ clears throat .]
That [ clears throat .]
That that you're doing terrific! That that you're doing terrific! [ laughs .]
that you're doing terrific! [ laughs .]
Just like all you kids.
[ laughs .]
Just like all you kids.
You're all equal and terrific Just like all you kids.
You're all equal and terrific no matter what you do.
[ cheering .]
Yeah! [ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
[ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
That's the game! [ horn blaring .]
That's the game! Woodpeckers win! Yeah, nice shot.
You guys did it.
You beat the best team You guys did it.
You beat the best team in the league.
You beat the best team in the league.
I think that makes us in the league.
I think that makes us the best team in the league.
I think that makes us the best team in the league.
Yeah.
the best team in the league.
Yeah.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah we are.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah we are.
And Sophie, Yeah we are.
And Sophie, you were our high scorer.
And Sophie, you were our high scorer.
I was? you were our high scorer.
I was? Yep.
I was? Yep.
And that means you get Yep.
And that means you get this.
And that means you get this.
Wow.
this.
Wow.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Wow.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Great job, kid.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Great job, kid.
I'm really proud of you.
Henry, I assume you know the problem.
Yeah.
you know the problem.
Yeah.
You always freeze frame Yeah.
You always freeze frame on my face looking hideous.
You always freeze frame on my face looking hideous.
You gave that little girl on my face looking hideous.
You gave that little girl a trophy.
You gave that little girl a trophy.
So? a trophy.
So? So, you gave her So? So, you gave her special attention that So, you gave her special attention that the other children didn't get.
special attention that the other children didn't get.
That's disgusting.
the other children didn't get.
That's disgusting.
Why? That's disgusting.
Why? That's Sophie.
Why? That's Sophie.
She's been practicing That's Sophie.
She's been practicing harder than anyone.
She's been practicing harder than anyone.
And she was the best player.
harder than anyone.
And she was the best player.
No, all the children And she was the best player.
No, all the children were the best players.
No, all the children were the best players.
Don't you see? were the best players.
Don't you see? I really don't.
Don't you see? I really don't.
Henry, please, I really don't.
Henry, please, just admit that Henry, please, just admit that what you did was terrible.
just admit that what you did was terrible.
It was disgusting.
what you did was terrible.
It was disgusting.
Okay, so, what It was disgusting.
Okay, so, what do you want me to do? Okay, so, what do you want me to do? Take the cool trophy away do you want me to do? Take the cool trophy away from the sweet little girl, Take the cool trophy away from the sweet little girl, and give everyone a trophy? Congratulations, Jacob.
You get this participation award.
Congratulations, Piper.
Yeah, thanks.
This means so much.
Sorry, Sophie.
I'm going to have to take that back from you.
I'm going to have to take that back from you.
But why? to take that back from you.
But why? Apparently it's disgusting.
Hey.
Hello.
The beard enhancement device works really well.
beard enhancement device works really well.
Also, you dribbled works really well.
Also, you dribbled on your sweater.
Jasper? What are you doing up there? I'm lowering this basket.
What are you doing up there? I'm lowering this basket.
Lowering the--why? I'm lowering this basket.
Lowering the--why? She told me if I didn't, Lowering the--why? She told me if I didn't, the board would She told me if I didn't, the board would take away my whistle.
Hey, what's going on? You brought the tiny chair? Your Woodpeckers have become a problem.
They've been scoring have become a problem.
They've been scoring too many points.
They've been scoring too many points.
So we're lowering the basket too many points.
So we're lowering the basket for the other teams So we're lowering the basket for the other teams to make the game fair.
for the other teams to make the game fair.
Oh my god.
to make the game fair.
Oh my god.
Henry, our job Oh my god.
Henry, our job as decent adults is to make sure Henry, our job as decent adults is to make sure that no child ever loses.
as decent adults is to make sure that no child ever loses.
Or feels bad.
that no child ever loses.
Or feels bad.
But don't you get it? Or feels bad.
But don't you get it? Sometimes it's good But don't you get it? Sometimes it's good when a kid loses and feels bad.
Sometimes it's good when a kid loses and feels bad.
Oh my god.
when a kid loses and feels bad.
Oh my god.
No he didn't.
Oh my god.
No he didn't.
That's disgusting.
No he didn't.
That's disgusting.
No, no, see, That's disgusting.
No, no, see, the Woodpeckers used to lose No, no, see, the Woodpeckers used to lose and feel bad the Woodpeckers used to lose and feel bad but that's what made them and feel bad but that's what made them want to practice harder but that's what made them want to practice harder and get better, want to practice harder and get better, and now they're winning and get better, and now they're winning and feel great.
and now they're winning and feel great.
Don't you see? and feel great.
Don't you see? Sometimes kids need Don't you see? Sometimes kids need to experience failure Sometimes kids need to experience failure in order to grow to experience failure in order to grow and learn how to be-- in order to grow and learn how to be-- Hey! and learn how to be-- Hey! Who turned off the-- Hey! Who turned off the-- [ crash .]
Who turned off the-- [ crash .]
[ thud .]
I'll find another boy to lower the basket.
Beard contest.
Dumbest thing I ever heard.
[ elevator dings .]
Hey, Charlotte.
Hi, Charlotte.
All right, I'm ready to Hi, Charlotte.
All right, I'm ready to Notice anything different? All right, I'm ready to Notice anything different? Yeah, what happened Notice anything different? Yeah, what happened to your beards? Yeah, what happened to your beards? Well, they were to your beards? Well, they were too long and itchy.
Well, they were too long and itchy.
Yeah, so uncomfortable.
too long and itchy.
Yeah, so uncomfortable.
Yeah, that whole Yeah, so uncomfortable.
Yeah, that whole beard contest thing Yeah, that whole beard contest thing was a stupid idea.
beard contest thing was a stupid idea.
So stupid.
was a stupid idea.
So stupid.
Oh, really? So stupid.
Oh, really? But you know that woman, Oh, really? But you know that woman, Vasilla, who knows how to knit? But you know that woman, Vasilla, who knows how to knit? No.
Vasilla, who knows how to knit? No.
Well, she's a woman.
No.
Well, she's a woman.
And we had her make you Well, she's a woman.
And we had her make you this.
And we had her make you this.
[ both .]
Ta da.
this.
[ both .]
Ta da.
It's a sweater.
[ both .]
Ta da.
It's a sweater.
Made from our beard hair.
It's a sweater.
Made from our beard hair.
Thank you so much.
[ cheering .]
Time out! Time out! Time out! Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Time out, Woodpeckers! [ blows whistle .]
Time out, Woodpeckers! Come on, we can't give up.
Time out, Woodpeckers! Come on, we can't give up.
This game isn't even fair.
Come on, we can't give up.
This game isn't even fair.
[ talking all at once .]
This game isn't even fair.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah, you're right.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah, you're right.
This game isn't fair.
Yeah, you're right.
This game isn't fair.
So, we could just This game isn't fair.
So, we could just give up and go home.
So, we could just give up and go home.
[ chatter .]
give up and go home.
[ chatter .]
No, no, no.
[ chatter .]
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
I was just Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
I was just taking a dramatic pause.
I was just taking a dramatic pause.
Okay, what are you saying? taking a dramatic pause.
Okay, what are you saying? I'm saying Piper, quit playing so lazy.
When you're on defense, keep your hands up.
When you're on defense, keep your hands up.
Okay.
keep your hands up.
Okay.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, Okay.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, you got to play smarter.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, you got to play smarter.
If you don't have a clear shot, you got to play smarter.
If you don't have a clear shot, pass the ball like I taught you.
If you don't have a clear shot, pass the ball like I taught you.
Got it, Coach.
pass the ball like I taught you.
Got it, Coach.
All right, Sophie, Got it, Coach.
All right, Sophie, I want to see you hustling All right, Sophie, I want to see you hustling up and down this court I want to see you hustling up and down this court or tomorrow up and down this court or tomorrow you're running laps.
or tomorrow you're running laps.
You hear me? you're running laps.
You hear me? Yeah, Coach.
You hear me? Yeah, Coach.
All right, and Steve, Yeah, Coach.
All right, and Steve, Put the taco salad down.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
All right, get out there [ blows whistle .]
All right, get out there and be the best! All right, get out there and be the best! [ cheering .]
and be the best! [ cheering .]
And you, Woodpecker parents, [ cheering .]
And you, Woodpecker parents, get off your aging butts And you, Woodpecker parents, get off your aging butts and cheer for your kids.
get off your aging butts and cheer for your kids.
[ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
You've got a lot of nerve, Henry Hart.
Thanks.
And I got you guys something, too.
Congratulations, you get this useless award.
Congratulations, you get this pointless award.
Congratulations, you get this disgusting award.
Bleh, la, la, la, la.
See you, STAB.
Hey, you guys won.
See you, STAB.
Hey, you guys won.
I know.
Hey, you guys won.
I know.
Well, come on, I know.
Well, come on, I'll take you and your team Well, come on, I'll take you and your team and Charlotte out to celebrate.
I'll take you and your team and Charlotte out to celebrate.
Okay.
and Charlotte out to celebrate.
Okay.
Where's Charlotte? Okay.
Where's Charlotte? She-- Charlotte? Where's Charlotte? She-- Charlotte? Charlotte! What are you wearing? Beard hair.
[ makes goofy noises .]
That's disgusting.
So, drop those pants because it's time for "Toilet Wars.
" Come on, please? Just do it.
No.
Why not? Piper, I said no and no means no, okay? I don't have time for this, okay? Why not? I have a girlfriend.
I have a job.
What are you talking about? [ yelling all at once .]
[ screaming .]
Dad, will you talk to him? Look what I'm painting.
It's called a "g'nome".
It's gorgeous.
Now will you please tell Henry that he should coach my basketball team? The Woodpeckers need a new coach? Yes.
I'll do it.
No.
Gross.
We want you.
Oh.
No.
[ doorbell rings .]
I'll get it.
Henry.
I have to pay attention to the opening of our front door.
Sushi Dushi.
Hey.
I think I left my wallet upstairs.
Well, go get it.
Right.
Hey.
Yo.
Sushi guy.
Yeah, what's up? Can you believe I have a brother who refuses to coach my basketball team? Piper, this guy doesn't care about us or your basketball team.
Actually, I care very much.
See? He cares.
Why do you care? Well, because my kid brother, Ricky, when he was ten, he asked me to coach his little league baseball team.
But I said I was too busy, like a fool.
Dad, the sushi guy's waiting! So, what happened? Ricky quit baseball.
So, what happened? Ricky quit baseball.
Then, when he turned 18, Ricky quit baseball.
Then, when he turned 18, he became a bull fighter.
Then, when he turned 18, he became a bull fighter.
Okay, see? he became a bull fighter.
Okay, see? That's exciting.
Okay, see? That's exciting.
Things turned out good.
That's exciting.
Things turned out good.
No.
Things turned out good.
No.
Because on Ricky's very first No.
Because on Ricky's very first bull fight, he got gored.
Because on Ricky's very first bull fight, he got gored.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? bull fight, he got gored.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? Eh, he's sort of okay.
Oh my gosh, is he okay? Eh, he's sort of okay.
As long Eh, he's sort of okay.
As long as he's not sitting down.
As long as he's not sitting down.
Or standing up.
as he's not sitting down.
Or standing up.
Poor kid.
Or standing up.
Poor kid.
Oh, why didn't I just say yes Poor kid.
Oh, why didn't I just say yes when he asked me Oh, why didn't I just say yes when he asked me to coach his team? [ blows whistle .]
Come on, Woodpeckers! Show me some hustle! What's that, a taco salad? Yeah.
Okay, now let's see a lay-up! Yeah.
Okay, now let's see a lay-up! What? Okay, now let's see a lay-up! What? [ mumbling .]
What? [ mumbling .]
[ blows whistle .]
[ mumbling .]
[ blows whistle .]
Catch! [ blows whistle .]
Catch! [ grunts .]
Catch! [ grunts .]
Whoa! [ grunts .]
Whoa! [ grunting .]
Whoa! [ grunting .]
[ groaning .]
Aw.
Dang it.
Why would you put your taco salad Why would you put your taco salad right where I'm sitting? It all just kind of happened.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
Ah! he made me indestructible.
Ah! I went into this crazy store Ah! I went into this crazy store and met I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.
and met a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.
who call me the good citizens of Swellview.
who call me He turned out to be who call me He turned out to be You know the name.
He turned out to be You know the name.
Captain Man! You know the name.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
It is done.
secret sidekick.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tube! Oh, my boot.
Ha! We're back.
Hey.
How was your camping trip? Oh, it was so much fun.
I went swimming in Lake Swellview.
Yeah.
Which would've been great if he'd brought a swimsuit.
What's wrong with swimming naked? You were scaring the fish.
I'm going to my room and shave off my beard.
[ laughs .]
You call that a beard? Yeah.
What else would I call this? You could call it a face bush.
I'm just saying this is the start of a real man's beard.
Pish.
I can grow more hair on my rump than you can grow I can grow more hair on my rump than you can grow on your face.
on my rump than you can grow on your face.
Your rump is no match on your face.
Your rump is no match for my face.
Your rump is no match for my face.
All right, boys, for my face.
All right, boys, let's not go getting all stupid.
All right, boys, let's not go getting all stupid.
You guys should have let's not go getting all stupid.
You guys should have a beard battle.
You guys should have a beard battle.
Yes.
a beard battle.
Yes.
Dude.
Yes.
Dude.
Six weeks.
Dude.
Six weeks.
Whoever grows Six weeks.
Whoever grows the biggest beard wins.
Whoever grows the biggest beard wins.
And the loser has to the biggest beard wins.
And the loser has to Eat the winner's beard hair.
And the loser has to Eat the winner's beard hair.
It's a bet.
Eat the winner's beard hair.
It's a bet.
No, no, see, I said It's a bet.
No, no, see, I said don't go getting all stupid.
Okay.
You guys are the Woodpeckers.
And everyone says You guys are the Woodpeckers.
And everyone says you're the worst team And everyone says you're the worst team in the league.
you're the worst team in the league.
No, no, no.
in the league.
No, no, no.
See, no, that's a bad thing.
No, no, no.
See, no, that's a bad thing.
See, you just have See, no, that's a bad thing.
See, you just have to practice hard See, you just have to practice hard and have a winning attitude to practice hard and have a winning attitude in order to not be the worst.
and have a winning attitude in order to not be the worst.
So, what's our goal? To get less worse? Sure, okay, I'll take that.
Come on, guys.
Sure, okay, I'll take that.
Come on, guys.
Let's get Come on, guys.
Let's get Less worse? Let's get Less worse? Louder.
Less worse? Louder.
Let's get Louder.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse.
Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! On your feet! Less worse! On your feet! Everybody up! On your feet! Everybody up! Let's get Everybody up! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! Let's get Less worse! [ blows whistle .]
Yeah.
Be maniacs.
Maniacs on the floor.
[ blows whistle .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunting .]
Sophie! [ blows whistle .]
[ blows whistle .]
Piper! Perfect! [ blows whistle .]
Come on, Woodpeckers! Be maniacs! Be maniacs on the floor! Be maniacs! Be maniacs on the floor! Boom! Yeah! [ grunts .]
Time out, time out, time out.
[ grunts .]
Time out, time out, time out.
Whistle! Time out, time out, time out.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Time out Woodpeckers! [ blows whistle .]
Time out Woodpeckers! Okay, what's wrong Time out Woodpeckers! Okay, what's wrong with you guys? Okay, what's wrong with you guys? We're only down by three.
with you guys? We're only down by three.
Well, you'd be winning We're only down by three.
Well, you'd be winning if you'd listen Well, you'd be winning if you'd listen to what I keep telling you.
if you'd listen to what I keep telling you.
Now, Jacob, you got to what I keep telling you.
Now, Jacob, you got to protect the ball, all right? Now, Jacob, you got to protect the ball, all right? Okay.
to protect the ball, all right? Okay.
And Hannah, Okay.
And Hannah, when we have the ball, And Hannah, when we have the ball, you can't just stand there.
when we have the ball, you can't just stand there.
Get open.
you can't just stand there.
Get open.
Got it.
Get open.
Got it.
Now, Piper, Got it.
Now, Piper, you got to quit being lazy Now, Piper, you got to quit being lazy on defense, all right? you got to quit being lazy on defense, all right? Move your feet.
on defense, all right? Move your feet.
[ horn blares .]
Move your feet.
[ horn blares .]
Whistle! [ horn blares .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Woodpeckers, take the floor! [ blows whistle .]
Woodpeckers, take the floor! All right, get out there Woodpeckers, take the floor! All right, get out there and make me proud! All right, get out there and make me proud! Let's go! Hey! Woodpecker parents! I want to see you get up and make some noise I want to see you get up and make some noise for your kids! and make some noise for your kids! Come on! for your kids! Come on! [ cheering .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
[ cheering .]
Piper, steal it! Yeah.
No, no, no! That basket! That basket! [ cheering .]
[ horn blares .]
Uhhello? Hello, Henry.
Hi.
Hello, Henry.
Hi.
I got a message telling me Hi.
I got a message telling me to come here.
I got a message telling me to come here.
We know.
to come here.
We know.
We sent the message.
We know.
We sent the message.
We're the board.
We sent the message.
We're the board.
The board? We're the board.
The board? The Swellview Tween The board? The Swellview Tween Athletic Board.
The Swellview Tween Athletic Board.
STAB.
Athletic Board.
STAB.
We're in charge STAB.
We're in charge of the junior basketball league.
We're in charge of the junior basketball league.
Please, sit down.
Is it okay if I just stand? We prefer you sit.
Could I have a bigger chair? [ all .]
No.
Did did I really do something wrong? Well, we don't like did I really do something wrong? Well, we don't like the word "wrong.
" Well, we don't like the word "wrong.
" But yes.
the word "wrong.
" But yes.
You did something wrong.
Come on, Woodpeckers! Be maniacs! Maniacs on the floor! Be maniacs! Maniacs on the floor! Boom! Maniacs on the floor! Boom! Yeah? Boom! Yeah? You can't shout Yeah? You can't shout at children like that.
You can't shout at children like that.
It could cause them at children like that.
It could cause them to feel bad about themselves.
It could cause them to feel bad about themselves.
But they didn't feel bad.
to feel bad about themselves.
But they didn't feel bad.
They won, and they were But they didn't feel bad.
They won, and they were really excited about it.
They won, and they were really excited about it.
Show him the other thing.
Hey! Woodpecker parents! I want to see you get up and make some noise I want to see you get up and make some noise for your kids! and make some noise for your kids! Come on! for your kids! Come on! I I don't get it.
Come on! I I don't get it.
Clearly.
I I don't get it.
Clearly.
Henry, you were urging Clearly.
Henry, you were urging the parents to cheer Henry, you were urging the parents to cheer for their children.
the parents to cheer for their children.
Loudly.
for their children.
Loudly.
So? Loudly.
So? Well, when they're cheering So? Well, when they're cheering for their own children, Well, when they're cheering for their own children, that could make for their own children, that could make the other children that could make the other children feel less than.
the other children feel less than.
I I was just trying feel less than.
I I was just trying to teach the kids I I was just trying to teach the kids to play better and win.
to teach the kids to play better and win.
Well, that's not what to play better and win.
Well, that's not what a good coach does.
Well, that's not what a good coach does.
I think it is.
a good coach does.
I think it is.
The goal is I think it is.
The goal is for all the children to have The goal is for all the children to have the exact same experience.
for all the children to have the exact same experience.
So, please, the exact same experience.
So, please, no more shouting or criticizing.
So, please, no more shouting or criticizing.
Only say no more shouting or criticizing.
Only say nice positive things.
Only say nice positive things.
All right, got it.
nice positive things.
All right, got it.
And no more encouraging All right, got it.
And no more encouraging the parents to hoot and holler.
And no more encouraging the parents to hoot and holler.
So the parents to hoot and holler.
So the parents can't cheer So the parents can't cheer for their own kids? the parents can't cheer for their own kids? Correct.
for their own kids? Correct.
But they can applaud softly.
Correct.
But they can applaud softly.
Like this.
Okay.
Thank you for your time.
[ elevator dings .]
[ chatter .]
I told you [ chatter .]
I told you that poor crazy girl.
I told you that poor crazy girl.
[ laughs .]
Schwoz! Ah! Hi.
Hey there.
Hey.
Cheater.
You're a dirty cheater.
Cheater.
You're a dirty cheater.
Why is he a cheater? You're a dirty cheater.
Why is he a cheater? That machine is a B.
E.
D.
Why is he a cheater? That machine is a B.
E.
D.
A beard enhancement device.
That machine is a B.
E.
D.
A beard enhancement device.
No it's not, I swear.
A beard enhancement device.
No it's not, I swear.
I swear to the gods it's not.
No it's not, I swear.
I swear to the gods it's not.
I swear on my life.
I swear to the gods it's not.
I swear on my life.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I swear on my life.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I'm telling the truth.
I swear on Charlotte's life.
I'm telling the truth.
No, you're lying.
I'm telling the truth.
No, you're lying.
Ah, so what? No, you're lying.
Ah, so what? You listen to me, Ah, so what? You listen to me, you fuzzy little cheater, I-- You listen to me, you fuzzy little cheater, I-- Hey! you fuzzy little cheater, I-- Hey! Nobody said there was Hey! Nobody said there was a rule against using Nobody said there was a rule against using beard enhancement devices.
a rule against using beard enhancement devices.
Ha! beard enhancement devices.
Ha! Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Ha! Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Fine.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Fine.
I thought we were having Okay.
Fine.
I thought we were having a fair and natural beard growing I thought we were having a fair and natural beard growing contest, but since we're not, a fair and natural beard growing contest, but since we're not, maybe I'll just use contest, but since we're not, maybe I'll just use this thing myself.
maybe I'll just use this thing myself.
Hey, get out of my machine.
this thing myself.
Hey, get out of my machine.
No.
Hey, get out of my machine.
No.
Hey.
No.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
What? I'm using it.
Hey.
Come on.
Here we go.
Hey.
Come on.
Here we go.
No.
Ah! Come on.
Here we go.
No.
Ah! No, not the beard.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Traveling! [ blows whistle .]
Traveling! Armadillo's ball! Traveling! Armadillo's ball! Come on, Jacob! Armadillo's ball! Come on, Jacob! I told you a thousand times Come on, Jacob! I told you a thousand times that I told you a thousand times that [ clears throat .]
that [ clears throat .]
That [ clears throat .]
That that you're doing terrific! That that you're doing terrific! [ laughs .]
that you're doing terrific! [ laughs .]
Just like all you kids.
[ laughs .]
Just like all you kids.
You're all equal and terrific Just like all you kids.
You're all equal and terrific no matter what you do.
[ cheering .]
Yeah! [ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
[ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
That's the game! [ horn blaring .]
That's the game! Woodpeckers win! Yeah, nice shot.
You guys did it.
You beat the best team You guys did it.
You beat the best team in the league.
You beat the best team in the league.
I think that makes us in the league.
I think that makes us the best team in the league.
I think that makes us the best team in the league.
Yeah.
the best team in the league.
Yeah.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah we are.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah we are.
And Sophie, Yeah we are.
And Sophie, you were our high scorer.
And Sophie, you were our high scorer.
I was? you were our high scorer.
I was? Yep.
I was? Yep.
And that means you get Yep.
And that means you get this.
And that means you get this.
Wow.
this.
Wow.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Wow.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Great job, kid.
Awesome trophy, Sophie.
Great job, kid.
I'm really proud of you.
Henry, I assume you know the problem.
Yeah.
you know the problem.
Yeah.
You always freeze frame Yeah.
You always freeze frame on my face looking hideous.
You always freeze frame on my face looking hideous.
You gave that little girl on my face looking hideous.
You gave that little girl a trophy.
You gave that little girl a trophy.
So? a trophy.
So? So, you gave her So? So, you gave her special attention that So, you gave her special attention that the other children didn't get.
special attention that the other children didn't get.
That's disgusting.
the other children didn't get.
That's disgusting.
Why? That's disgusting.
Why? That's Sophie.
Why? That's Sophie.
She's been practicing That's Sophie.
She's been practicing harder than anyone.
She's been practicing harder than anyone.
And she was the best player.
harder than anyone.
And she was the best player.
No, all the children And she was the best player.
No, all the children were the best players.
No, all the children were the best players.
Don't you see? were the best players.
Don't you see? I really don't.
Don't you see? I really don't.
Henry, please, I really don't.
Henry, please, just admit that Henry, please, just admit that what you did was terrible.
just admit that what you did was terrible.
It was disgusting.
what you did was terrible.
It was disgusting.
Okay, so, what It was disgusting.
Okay, so, what do you want me to do? Okay, so, what do you want me to do? Take the cool trophy away do you want me to do? Take the cool trophy away from the sweet little girl, Take the cool trophy away from the sweet little girl, and give everyone a trophy? Congratulations, Jacob.
You get this participation award.
Congratulations, Piper.
Yeah, thanks.
This means so much.
Sorry, Sophie.
I'm going to have to take that back from you.
I'm going to have to take that back from you.
But why? to take that back from you.
But why? Apparently it's disgusting.
Hey.
Hello.
The beard enhancement device works really well.
beard enhancement device works really well.
Also, you dribbled works really well.
Also, you dribbled on your sweater.
Jasper? What are you doing up there? I'm lowering this basket.
What are you doing up there? I'm lowering this basket.
Lowering the--why? I'm lowering this basket.
Lowering the--why? She told me if I didn't, Lowering the--why? She told me if I didn't, the board would She told me if I didn't, the board would take away my whistle.
Hey, what's going on? You brought the tiny chair? Your Woodpeckers have become a problem.
They've been scoring have become a problem.
They've been scoring too many points.
They've been scoring too many points.
So we're lowering the basket too many points.
So we're lowering the basket for the other teams So we're lowering the basket for the other teams to make the game fair.
for the other teams to make the game fair.
Oh my god.
to make the game fair.
Oh my god.
Henry, our job Oh my god.
Henry, our job as decent adults is to make sure Henry, our job as decent adults is to make sure that no child ever loses.
as decent adults is to make sure that no child ever loses.
Or feels bad.
that no child ever loses.
Or feels bad.
But don't you get it? Or feels bad.
But don't you get it? Sometimes it's good But don't you get it? Sometimes it's good when a kid loses and feels bad.
Sometimes it's good when a kid loses and feels bad.
Oh my god.
when a kid loses and feels bad.
Oh my god.
No he didn't.
Oh my god.
No he didn't.
That's disgusting.
No he didn't.
That's disgusting.
No, no, see, That's disgusting.
No, no, see, the Woodpeckers used to lose No, no, see, the Woodpeckers used to lose and feel bad the Woodpeckers used to lose and feel bad but that's what made them and feel bad but that's what made them want to practice harder but that's what made them want to practice harder and get better, want to practice harder and get better, and now they're winning and get better, and now they're winning and feel great.
and now they're winning and feel great.
Don't you see? and feel great.
Don't you see? Sometimes kids need Don't you see? Sometimes kids need to experience failure Sometimes kids need to experience failure in order to grow to experience failure in order to grow and learn how to be-- in order to grow and learn how to be-- Hey! and learn how to be-- Hey! Who turned off the-- Hey! Who turned off the-- [ crash .]
Who turned off the-- [ crash .]
[ thud .]
I'll find another boy to lower the basket.
Beard contest.
Dumbest thing I ever heard.
[ elevator dings .]
Hey, Charlotte.
Hi, Charlotte.
All right, I'm ready to Hi, Charlotte.
All right, I'm ready to Notice anything different? All right, I'm ready to Notice anything different? Yeah, what happened Notice anything different? Yeah, what happened to your beards? Yeah, what happened to your beards? Well, they were to your beards? Well, they were too long and itchy.
Well, they were too long and itchy.
Yeah, so uncomfortable.
too long and itchy.
Yeah, so uncomfortable.
Yeah, that whole Yeah, so uncomfortable.
Yeah, that whole beard contest thing Yeah, that whole beard contest thing was a stupid idea.
beard contest thing was a stupid idea.
So stupid.
was a stupid idea.
So stupid.
Oh, really? So stupid.
Oh, really? But you know that woman, Oh, really? But you know that woman, Vasilla, who knows how to knit? But you know that woman, Vasilla, who knows how to knit? No.
Vasilla, who knows how to knit? No.
Well, she's a woman.
No.
Well, she's a woman.
And we had her make you Well, she's a woman.
And we had her make you this.
And we had her make you this.
[ both .]
Ta da.
this.
[ both .]
Ta da.
It's a sweater.
[ both .]
Ta da.
It's a sweater.
Made from our beard hair.
It's a sweater.
Made from our beard hair.
Thank you so much.
[ cheering .]
Time out! Time out! Time out! Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
Time out, Woodpeckers! [ blows whistle .]
Time out, Woodpeckers! Come on, we can't give up.
Time out, Woodpeckers! Come on, we can't give up.
This game isn't even fair.
Come on, we can't give up.
This game isn't even fair.
[ talking all at once .]
This game isn't even fair.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah, you're right.
[ talking all at once .]
Yeah, you're right.
This game isn't fair.
Yeah, you're right.
This game isn't fair.
So, we could just This game isn't fair.
So, we could just give up and go home.
So, we could just give up and go home.
[ chatter .]
give up and go home.
[ chatter .]
No, no, no.
[ chatter .]
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
I was just Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
I was just taking a dramatic pause.
I was just taking a dramatic pause.
Okay, what are you saying? taking a dramatic pause.
Okay, what are you saying? I'm saying Piper, quit playing so lazy.
When you're on defense, keep your hands up.
When you're on defense, keep your hands up.
Okay.
keep your hands up.
Okay.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, Okay.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, you got to play smarter.
All right, Tyler, Hannah, you got to play smarter.
If you don't have a clear shot, you got to play smarter.
If you don't have a clear shot, pass the ball like I taught you.
If you don't have a clear shot, pass the ball like I taught you.
Got it, Coach.
pass the ball like I taught you.
Got it, Coach.
All right, Sophie, Got it, Coach.
All right, Sophie, I want to see you hustling All right, Sophie, I want to see you hustling up and down this court I want to see you hustling up and down this court or tomorrow up and down this court or tomorrow you're running laps.
or tomorrow you're running laps.
You hear me? you're running laps.
You hear me? Yeah, Coach.
You hear me? Yeah, Coach.
All right, and Steve, Yeah, Coach.
All right, and Steve, Put the taco salad down.
Whistle! [ blows whistle .]
All right, get out there [ blows whistle .]
All right, get out there and be the best! All right, get out there and be the best! [ cheering .]
and be the best! [ cheering .]
And you, Woodpecker parents, [ cheering .]
And you, Woodpecker parents, get off your aging butts And you, Woodpecker parents, get off your aging butts and cheer for your kids.
get off your aging butts and cheer for your kids.
[ cheering .]
[ horn blaring .]
You've got a lot of nerve, Henry Hart.
Thanks.
And I got you guys something, too.
Congratulations, you get this useless award.
Congratulations, you get this pointless award.
Congratulations, you get this disgusting award.
Bleh, la, la, la, la.
See you, STAB.
Hey, you guys won.
See you, STAB.
Hey, you guys won.
I know.
Hey, you guys won.
I know.
Well, come on, I know.
Well, come on, I'll take you and your team Well, come on, I'll take you and your team and Charlotte out to celebrate.
I'll take you and your team and Charlotte out to celebrate.
Okay.
and Charlotte out to celebrate.
Okay.
Where's Charlotte? Okay.
Where's Charlotte? She-- Charlotte? Where's Charlotte? She-- Charlotte? Charlotte! What are you wearing? Beard hair.
[ makes goofy noises .]
That's disgusting.