Hercules: The Legendary Journeys s02e04 Episode Script

Thank you.
Barbarians! Grab everything you see! Everything is for the taking! Food.
Drink.
For my men.
And for me.
You'll do just fine.
Bring us food and drink.
Maybe you'd hear better if I opened up your ears.
- Move! - I can help you.
- And who are you, little man? - Argeus, owner of this establishment.
- I can get you whatever you want.
- Well, Argeus, my name's Goth! And you can bring me everything you've got.
I will but first, let go of the woman.
This man has the courage of an ox! And the brains of one.
Coward! Gotcha! Hey-hey! Nice size, too! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Come on, Hercules, admit it! This is one thing I'm better at than you are! Shhh.
You talkin' quantity or quality? Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Both! You're right.
I never caught a log that big.
Caught a log that big.
I have to admit, Iolaus.
You do know your fishing holes.
Aah, it's the water on this island.
Naxos has the best fishing anywere.
It's beautiful country, too.
I'm glad we came.
See, it's great to just relax and take it easy once in a while.
Boy, these are gonna taste great.
My friend, Argeus, has a tavern up ahead.
He'll be able to cook 'em up and give us a bed for the night I hope.
Help! Argeus! - Argeus - Iolaus, run get away.
- Who did this? - Goth.
He'll kill us all.
Run! Where's Goth? Inside? But you'll have to get past us, first.
With pleasure.
Hey! Excuse me for not knocking.
Boy, I guess some people really don't like fish.
- Tell your men to drop their weapons! - You'll need more help than that.
That's my brother, Bledar, with the rest of my men.
Charge! This is the story of a time long ago.
A time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering.
Only one man dared to challenge their power-Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.
He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of wicked stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods.
But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Hercules.
Tell your men to stay where they are.
You're in no position to make demands! Who are you? - He's Hercules.
- Hercules! Make a muscle, strong man.
Let's-let's all settle down! - What do you want, Hercules.
- Justice.
Your brother's wanted by the Athenian government for war crimes.
And he just killed the owner of this tavern.
Perhaps the food wasn't to his liking! Iolaus! We're taking him to Athens to stand trial.
Yeah, but for the record I'd rather try him here with this.
Bledar, kill them all! Kill them now! I can take him, Bledar, without harming Goth.
Go ahead, give me an excuse.
Dax, put down the bow.
You're very brave but there are only two of you.
- And it's a long way to Athens.
- We'll do all right.
We'll see! Come on.
We will meet again! Yah! You know? We're only postponing the inevitable.
The only thing inevitable is your death! The Athenians had a fort around here when I was a kid.
You know? We could hand our prisoner to the soldiers and let them take him to Athens.
- That's not a bad idea.
- There was a road around here, somewhere.
You call yourselves warriors! Ha-ha! You're nothing but sheep! Lost in the woods, looking for some army to save you! Hey, don't laugh.
Those soldiers hate you almost as much as I do after what you did during the Mycenian invasion.
A great war! I beheaded an entire company! And left the road to Thessaly lined with rotting, Greek skulls! - Someone should put him out of his misery.
- War, isn't won by the weak.
Conquest and control by the strongest! That's the real law, the only law! Is that why you killed Argeus? To prove you're stronger than a gentle, kindhearted man who never fought anyone in his life? He was weak! He ran from battle! He deserved to die! Iolaus! He's not worth it.
Hunting season's open! Hoo that was close.
Go on! Can't lose my men! - Open the gate! - Come on! Shoot! Shoot! Can't you idiots blind idiots hit anything?! Guards! We're under attack! Open the gate! - What's wrong with him? - Kill them, now! It's our last chance! Sorry, I thought there was more slack.
Sentry, where's your commanding officer? There are barbarians out there! What is wrong with you? We could've been killed! Ah.
Uh, Hercules, we got a problem.
What's wrong with the guard? Asleep at his post? - Well, you could say that.
- Ahh.
What're we gonna do, now? Same thing we started out to get to the nearest port - and catch a boat to Athens.
- You're forgettin' the part where we fight to the death with a horde of bloodthirsty barbarians.
I'm still hoping we can avoid that.
You think they're gonna forget about him? If that was a scouting party the rest of his troops won't get here for awhile.
We can wait till nightfall, then slip away in the dark.
- Oh.
- No army to save you.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
It will be sweet when I cut out your livers and roast them over an open flame.
- Can we do something about him? - Yeah, why don't you find him a cage, while I look around and see if there's anything here besides ghosts.
Sure.
Come on! - You're a girl.
- Lucky you.
If I was a seven-foot man, I'd be the one on top.
You might as well just go ahead and kill me, because if you try to have your way with me, I'll make sure you wish you were dead.
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna do anything to you.
- Really? - Really.
- Then why are you still on top of me? - Oh.
Sorry.
- Why did you attack me? - What did you expect? A big kiss? All that yelling, outside I was scared.
Hercules! Ah, excuse me.
That's my friend.
I'll be right back.
Hercules.
This old man is dying.
A drink, please, only a few drops to ease my parched and aching throat.
Here you go.
- This is water! - Well, I thought you were thirsty.
- What's wrong with the water? - What's wrong with it? Fish swim in it! Skunks take baths in it! If the gods had meant for people to drink it, they wouldn't have invented wine! Now, you heard what your friend said! I'm dying! Get me something to drink! Papa, please.
You'll have to forgive my father.
Years of confinement have made him forget his manners.
- Who's this? - My name is Ilora.
Ah.
Well, uh, I'm Iolaus and this is my friend-- Hercules, yes, I know.
We just met.
And this ill-tempered gentleman-- I can talk! I used to be called Charadan.
As a young man, some called me, "Charadan the Brave"! You see? - I, too, was once a warrior! - A very long time ago, Papa.
What he did best was raise a family, and to try to eke out a meager living on a small farm not too far from here.
- How did you end up in prison? - Uh personal hardship turned me into a vicous outlaw.
Papa, please.
After our crops failed one summer he was arrested for stealing bread for me and my sisters.
She lies! Don't be fooled by my present condition.
I'm still capable of vile and merciless assault.
When I'm in a foul mood I advise you not to venture too close.
I'll, uh, try to remember that.
What happened to all the other soldiers? An epidemic wiped out everyone in the fort except Papa.
B-because I wouldn't drink the water! Dax! You're lucky Goth wasn't injured in your clumsy ambush! - Your brother wanted me to attack! - Figures.
- He's as crazy as you are.
- Well, I almost had them! - I mean, if they hadn't made it inside-- - Listen! And listen well you ever disobey a direct order again and I'll have your head on my sword! Are we clear? - Yes, sir.
- Now! Tell me about the fort.
I'm afraid these irons were meant to stay on forever.
I take care of him as best as I can bathe him keep him covered when he's cold bring him food every day and as much wine as I can find.
But I fear he doesn't have much longer.
Well, not if he has to carry on like this.
First, let's get him out of these chains.
It's impossible, others have tried.
I could break this one, too but I'm afraid it might hurt him.
Iolaus, see that catch inside? Oh, yeah.
- How did you do that? - It's an old hunters' trick.
You know, Hercules, we oughtta get ready.
- For what? - In case any visitors drop by.
Yeah, it's dark, and, uh, we have to light the torches.
I left our travelling companion in a room down the end of the hall.
Let's get this off.
No one gets in or out.
Eventually, they'll be forced to give him up.
- Starving them out could take months.
- Oh, so your plan will be to simply charge over the walls and destroy everyting in our path! - Yeah.
- Yes.
- Or we could use Titantus.
- Yeah.
It'd take time for that monster to get here.
If we wait we lose the advantage of surprise.
- Here, let's see if he'll drink this.
- What is it? It's a mixture of some herbs and oils I found in the storage bins.
It should help him get back on his feet.
- Where'd you learn to make medicine? - My cousin, Asclepius, showed me.
The god of healing.
One of the few gods who tries to help people instead of control them.
Here's your wine, Papa.
Drink up.
Anybody out there? I need food! - Who's that? - Just our travelling companion.
Can anybody hear me? I'm stuck in this filthy hole with nothing to eat or drink! I hear you, Goth! Pipe down! Hercules, starving your prisoners? - It's not what I'd call civilized behavior.
- You've had the same as me today.
Maybe my hunger is bigger than yours.
Now, that stirs an appetite.
Watch your mouth, Goth, and maybe I'll bring you something later.
Just bring her! There you go, soldier.
Now, when the fighting starts give it everything you've got.
And don't lose your head.
Why didn't you tell me you had that barbarian with you? We were waiting for a better time.
Everybody knows about Goth and his vandals.
They came through Naxos about two years ago, burning, looting, killing, destroying everything in their way.
Ah, we're takin' him to Athens to stand trial.
His brother and his men will never let that happen.
Alemedes, Saturn, they're they're crossing into the underworld.
- This must be Erebus.
- Papa, you're not dead.
And you're not in the dungeon, anymore.
This is Hercules.
He and his friend got you loose from the irons.
Uh-h-h, I know who he is.
He was suppoesed to be getting me something to drink.
Wh-whoa, take it easy.
You haven't used those legs in a long time.
It may be a while before you can walk again.
Those kegs there.
Wager at least one of them holds wine.
Fill my belly with that ha-ha-ha I'll be dancing before morning! I gave you medicine that works better with water.
- Oh, water.
- Hercules.
Here you try.
What is it? Bledar's arrived with the rest of the troops.
They're surrounding the fort.
You know? With that girl and her sick father it's gonna be really hard to escape tonight.
You're right.
We'll have to make a stand.
- Good.
- What can I do to help? Ah, they won't try anything tonight.
We have some time.
Yeah, I tried to make the fort look fully manned.
Hopefully, we can keep up the illusion in daylight.
- Why wouldn't they attack at night? - It's dark.
They don't know what they're up against.
No'd be stupid enough to attack at night.
Of course, barbarians aren't really known for their brains.
Fire! Aim! Fire! Aren't cha glad I asked you on this vacation? You said we'd go fishing! You didn't say we'd catch so much trouble.
- Ilora, get back inside! - How'd you do that? I don't know.
My men! Where are my comrades? Thaddeus! Saturn! I-I need you! - The enemy are upon us! - Papa, I have to move you.
Stay down.
Palamedes, has the whole battalion deserted us? No, Papa, they're on their way! Your comrades will be here any minute to save us.
It's all right, my dear there's no need to humor me.
I I know where I am.
For a moment, I I just forgot.
Hercules, meet some of my best soldiers.
Ready, men! Aim.
Fire! Pretty clever.
Now if they could only reload as fast as they shoot.
Yeah.
Stay here, Papa.
Mighty Zeus, please, send me a sign.
My men might come soon.
Please, give me a sign.
It it is wine! Ye-ah! Thank you, oh, mighty one.
Thank you! Here they come.
Get out of here! Join your buddy! Give me a hand! Quickly, men! Quickly! You'll do the trick.
Inside! Enough already! Sound the retreat! I hope that means they're takin' a break.
Me, too.
I should have followed my instincts.
I never attack without knowing my enemy's strength.
Threre were more of them than we thought.
- Where's Titantis? - It'll be here by morning.
We should have used him the first time.
That monster will crush that fort like an anthill! Sir, let me take a small scouting party to the fort tonight.
I'll find out their strength.
Hercules! I heard the sounds of battle! - Are you and your friends dead yet? - You call that a battle? All we did was swat away a few stinking barbarians.
I thought it was kind of fun.
You won't be making jokes after Bledar overruns this woodpile and I hang you on a meat hook! Hercules? Hercules! Get me some water! You said you'd bring me something later! - Are you a man of your words or not? - I'll take it.
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- I'll be careful.
Yeah, but it's Ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ahhh Ilora, such a beautiful name.
Ahh.
It's been a long time, Goth.
Too long, little bird, too long.
Uh.
Uh, Hercules and Iolaus.
I-I-I-I can walk! I-i-it's a miracle, isn't it? Old soldier, I'd say you're the miracle.
Great job, Charadan, but that's probably enough exercise for now.
- You should go inside and get some rest.
- Oh! - And why don't you give us that jug? - What jug? - This one.
- Oh! No, no! That's the only thing that makes me feel better.
For the last few years, that wine's kept you from feeling anything.
You don't need it anymore.
Maybe you're right.
I'm starting to see things.
Heave! Heave! Heave! - Are you seeing what I'm seeing? - I'm not sure.
Heave! - What kind of a monster is that? - A big one.
Heave! Heave! Do you have any idea what that thing is? It's called a catapult.
I saw one in Macedonia.
It can hurl boulders the size of men and pound walls to dust.
That's good news.
So what else can go wrong? - Hurry up and cut me loose.
- I couldn't bring a knife.
- They-they-they were watching me.
- Then go back and get one! Give me one good reason! I haven't seen you for over a year.
I was busy waging war, little girl.
I asked if you wanted to come along! And who would take care of my father? Admit it, Goth, you got what you wanted and then you left.
I came back, didn't I? Why do you think I'm here? For you, Ilora.
For you.
So now that you're here now, what? We'll talk later.
Just get the knife.
The size of those boulders.
It'd be nice if they never got to use them.
Yeah, well, maybe one of us could get close enough to sabotage the thing.
Stay here.
I'll try not to take too long.
- Wait, it's my turn.
- Why is it your turn? I don't know.
It makes more sense for me to go.
- How's that? - You're bigger.
If we make a run for it, someone's gonna have to carry Charadan.
- We're not gonna make a run for it.
- OK, I'm smaller and sneakier.
It's gonna be easier for me to get past their lines.
Iolaus, w-- Ilora! Charadan! We'll discuss this later.
Keep and eye on that thing.
Sure.
Everything all right? Yeah, I was just cleaning up some of the mess.
Oh.
Iolaus, everything's OK in here.
Great! Same here! But if I have to watch that thing I might as well get a closer look.
- I told him I was sneakier.
- Any problems with Goth? No.
Why should there be? I told you I'd be careful.
Ilora, I was just worried about you.
Goth is as evil as they come.
And you think a simple country girl can't tell the difference between good and bad.
There's nothing simple about you.
I've seen how you've sacrificed, taking care of your father, the way you handled yourself in the battle.
Yeah? Well, maybe you don't know me as well as you think.
But-- Oh, Hercules, my head's beginning to clear, but my throat's awfully dry.
Do you happen to have any of that, uh, water? Yeah.
Get another boulder ready.
Like that.
Get ready.
Hi.
Nice piece of equipment! You know? I'm lookin' to buy a machine just like this! You guys wanna sell? - I don't think so.
- Come on, get him! Where are the soldiers? I can't see anybody.
- Then we marched from there to Lycini-- - Shh! Someone's coming.
So, this is your army! One warrior, a girl, and a sick old man! Don't worry, my dear, my battalion 500 warriors' strong, - is marching here even as we speak! - Shut up, old fool.
Take us to Goth.
We're coming for you, Goth! You look like lambs on their way to slaughter! Where's your friend, Hercules? Already on a meat hook? Bring that one to me.
My prize! And future wife! What's the matter? Didn't she tell you how I took care of her and brought gifts to her while you were in prison? - Liar! - It's true, Papa.
We had nothing.
We needed anything we could get.
- Ilora, don't mistake gratitude for love.
- Hold your tongue! And you! You should be grateful for my saving her life! - Leave him alone! - Easy, boys! Dax, give Ilora your sword.
I give you the privilege of cutting me loose as a symbol of our love.
- Love, he doesn't know what love is.
- You have to promise you won't hurt Hercules or Iolaus, just let them go.
Don't be stupid! I'll cut Hercules' heart out and make history! - I'm not stupid.
- I said, stop being stupid! And cut me loose! Don't, Ilora, you're not a killer.
You don't want his blood on your hands.
Ilora Nice try.
What's that noise? Sounds like Titantis has come for you! Wait here! - Did we get your attention? - Keep firing! You'll never find your brother in the rubble! Maybe we could use your friend as a rock! He'd make a great sound hitting that wall! - What do you want? - A trade! Goth! For your friend! - Done.
- Bring him out! I'll need time! Your catapult just blocked the entrance to the dungeon.
You got two hours! Don't do it, Hercules! But without Goth as a hostage, you'll have no bargaining power.
- They'll overrun us.
- Unless your men get here first.
- I have an idea, but I'll need help.
- Anything.
I'm sorry about Iolaus.
Uh, you know? He might not have got caught if he'd gone through the tunnel and come up behind the enemy.
- Tunnel? - Under the dungeon.
Years ago, some prisoners dug their way out.
Now you tell me.
Start Iolaus walking! I'll send Goth.
Start walking! Hercules? Between us? I-I I don't think my battalion's gonna make it in time.
Then we'll make do with what we have.
Let them fight, Bledar! Goth will tear that pup apart! Goth! This is for Argeus! Archers! Get ready! - Hold your fire, men! - What men? All I see is a barricade made of earth, wood, and stone! - Big and empty! - I was considering showing you some mercy! - You're caught in the open! - On my command, sound the charge! Right and left flanks! Attack positions! My battalion! Thaddeus! Saturn! Alemedes! They made it! Sound your retreat! Or die where you stand! But you forget! We have Titantis! Ha-ha.
- That evens the field! - No.
This evens the field.
Sound the retreat! Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Sneakier, huh? This way.
You sure about this tunnel? I don't see any light at the end of it.
I saw prisoners escape down into it.
'Course, I never saw them come out.
They're very disciplined.
Almost dawn and not one soldier has moved a muscle.
If I didn't know better, I'd s-s-- Can't be.
Rally the men! Whoa.
I recognize this place! Papa, our farm is just east of here! You can catch a boat at the next village.
It's just around that cove.
Ilora, stupid little fool! You could have had the world as my wife! I know but then I'd have to be with you.
And that's too high a price to pay.
I don't know how to thank you.
You already have by realizing you deserve better.
Just keep believing in yourself.
Ahh! Hercules, on the boat to Athens you think we could get in a little fishing?