How to with John Wilson (2020) s02e04 Episode Script

1
♪
John Wilson:
Hey, New York.
Every time I throw
something out,
It feels like I'm getting
away with something.
On Tuesday and Friday
every week,
all the evidence of
my shameful lifestyle
is removed
without any question.
And I never have to think
about it ever again.
It's amazing to think
that it's this easy
to get rid of something.
But there's always
going to be some stuff
that you're never quite
sure how to throw away.
I have a big box
of used batteries
that I keep
in my apartment.
(clears throat)
They're, uh--
I think they're all dead,
but I'm afraid to throw
them into the normal trash
for reasons I don't
quite understand.
I thought I was
the only one,
but when I--
but when I talked
to my neighbors,
it seems like they had
the same problem as me.
-This is my bag for
-(bag crinkling)
things like that, I guess.
Wilson:
What else is in there?
I don't know what to
do with them, either.
You're stuck with them,
and then they dry up,
and you can't
use them at all.
Wilson:
There seemed to be a lot
of mixed messaging
about how to get rid
of stuff like this and,
and that causes some people to
hold on to things indefinitely.
And so if I just put
it out in the trash,
I feel like I'm not
being a good citizen.
I really do.
Wilson:
Disposing of things
correctly can make you feel
like you're doing
the Lord's work.
So instead of holding onto this
stuff longer than you have to,
stick with me,
and I'll show you
how to get your life in order
and finally figure out
the right way
to get rid of
all your batteries.
(clears throat)
The first place
you should try is the
hazardous waste drop-off
site that the city has set up
right under
the Manhattan Bridge
on the Lower East Side.
But when you get there,
it seems like
it's temporarily closed,
and they don't
give any indication
as to when
it's going to reopen.
So, you're gonna have to
figure something else out.
♪
Thankfully, when you're walking
around your neighborhood,
you actually stumble across,
uh, an electronic waste event,
where you're supposed to
throw out stuff like this.
But when you ask them
if they can, uh,
take your batteries,
uh, you get some
disappointing news.
-Wilson: You don't
take batteries?
-No.
So, we used to have
a warehouse in Brooklyn,
and then the landlord
raised the rent.
And so now, if you look behind
you, we've got a truck there.
Wilson:
So, where would I throw
out my batteries?
Best Buy, Staples, Home Depot,
Lowe's, or IKEA will take them.
-Wilson: Oh, really?
-Yeah.
Wilson:
So, take your batteries
down to the subway station
and bring them all
the way to the place
he was talking about.
The first place,
uh, didn't, um
it didn't seem
open right now. So,
get back on the subway
and take your batteries
all the way to the next
place that he mentioned.
But when you get in there,
you have a tough time
finding the receptacle
that he was talking about.
And you have
an even harder time,
uh, finding an employee.
Excuse me, do you work here?
-No.
-Wilson: Oh, sorry.
-You don't work here,
do you?
-No, I don't.
-Wilson: Okay.
It's the orange shirt.
-(laughs)
And after searching
for a while,
you start to wonder why
they make this so hard.
♪
If you're gonna be
buying batteries
for the rest of your life,
are you going to
have to come back
to this godforsaken place
every sing-- every time
your box fills up?
And you wish you could
just get rid of these
the same way that
you do everything else.
But, for some reason,
that's not an option.
Even if you were to
recycle these things,
you're not even sure if that
would make you feel better.
You separate all
your cans and stuff
from the normal garbage, but
you read somewhere
that only 9% of plastic
is actually recycled.
And no matter how
environmentally conscious
you think you're being,
it feels like
it's just an illusion
to ease your conscience.
♪
Maybe it's just
part of human nature
to hope that something
can take on another life
and return in
a different form.
One thing that we see
in reincarnation cases
is we're basically
the same person
from lifetime to lifetime.
The soul projects a hologram,
if you will,
into the developing fetus,
which results in
the facial features
being similar from
lifetime to lifetime.
Uh Mark Zuckerberg
was an early data programmer
for the US Census.
Uh, Jay Leno is
the reincarnation of Moliere.
Michael Jackson, at age 10,
was recruited into
this children's army
and was killed.
The resemblance
is very striking.
You know, the mouth
and the chin are
pretty much the same.
-Wilson: Is that you?
-Reincarnation Man: Yep.
-A few years back. (laughs)
-Wilson: You're saying
you were the second President
of the United States?
Reincarnation Man:
Correct.
I met a woman,
and within six months,
we were married.
And it turned out that
she was my son
in the Adams lifetime.
Wilson:
Wait, your wife was your--
the reincarnation
-of your, John Adams' son?
-Yes.
Wilson:
Is that, is that incest?
Well, it's not incest because
they're different lifetimes.
-Wilson: Oh, okay.
-Yeah.
♪
Wilson:
When New Yorkers aren't sure
how to dispose of something,
it usually ends up
on the sidewalk.
They often place it
somewhere conspicuous
in the hopes that
sanitation employees
will remove it
because it's in the way.
And law enforcement is
absolutely powerless
to stop it.
(inaudible)
There's a safe that's
been on the sidewalk
near my apartment
for a long time,
and I have no idea
how it got there.
Do you know what's up
with this safe?
Oh, okay.
It seems extremely
hard to move,
and no matter how many
of my favorite
combinations I try,
I can't seem to get inside.
♪
City garbage cans are
also filled with objects
that people aren't sure
how to throw out.
But if you put
the wrong stuff in there,
it can seriously damage
the people that collect it.
-How you doing, man?
Morning.
-Morning.
People throw out steak knives
in garbage bags.
Needles.
That's the worst part.
You pick up a bag,
and when it swings back
There was stitches.
I cut the inside of my leg,
and I think somewhere else.
Three times,
-I wind up having to
get stitches on my leg.
-Wilson: Damn!
Oh, look, look. Look! Here.
-Wilson: What's that?
-Open it.
-Wilson: Oh, shit.
-A guy in a garage
down the street
had one of these explode on him,
and he was in
the hospital for about
-What'd you say, about a month?
-Yeah.
For about a month.
-(whirring)
-(pop)
There we go. Now,
if that was that tank,
it's exploding on us.
Know what
you're throwing out,
do your work.
If you're not sure,
call 3-1-1.
Wilson:
It seems like if you throw
out something you shouldn't,
they have to call in a special
waste department to handle it.
And if you're sloppy,
it could even go on
your permanent record.
Hazmat Worker:
Nine out of 10 times,
we will locate
the individual
that deposited it,
and if they're
found in violation,
we'll issue a violation.
It could potentially
go criminal,
-especially if someone's
severely injured.
-Wilson: Wow.
Once they took the tank away,
you got to talking
with them a bit more,
and you asked if
you could come see
how the Department
of Sanitation works.
And they actually said yeah.
♪
Everyone's garbage is
brought back to this facility
and dumped into a big,
stinky pit by the dump trucks.
And they have photos
of dangerous objects
that they'll show you.
This is the remnants of
an oxygen tank that exploded.
Shut down a two-block
radius in Manhattan.
You can see
there's some syringes.
You have some acid,
poison, arsenic.
Just a simple photograph
of our offices.
Wilson:
Then they let you go to the
recycling facility next door,
where they have people
separating things by hand.
And they take a second to
tell you how dangerous it is
to have batteries mixed in
with the recycling.
So, musical greeting cards,
for example, um,
you don't think about it,
but there's a battery in there.
And there is actually
a fire in New Jersey,
there's a paper
recycling facility,
and the entire facility
burned to the ground.
So, here's an example
of a battery.
This is an e-bike battery.
It came into our facility.
We didn't actually
ask for this,
but someone thought
they should be recycled.
And it could create
a smoldering condition,
and it's hugely dangerous.
-We're good!
-Worker: Alright, no problem.
Wilson:
Um
The tour was
really eye-opening,
and you didn't realize
that such a gentle
household object
could be responsible
for so much devastation.
(dogs barking
"Happy Birthday")
When you look on YouTube, you
see that there's actually a guy
who's dedicated
his entire life
to warning people
about stuff like this.
This chainsaw may
unexpectedly start
without pressing
the power switch
when the extension cord adapter
is connected upside down.
These pastries
may contain mold.
If you bought the carrots, don't
consume them, but destroy them.
These garments failed to meet
federal flammability standards
for children's sleepwear,
and they create a risk
for childhood burn injuries.
Do not permit your child
to wear these nightgowns.
Contact La Paloma
and arrange a refund.
Wilson:
Nightgowns are flammable?
Yep. Well, they're supposed
to be not be flammable.
-Wilson: Oh, right, right.
-But, they are.
Wilson:
Why do you think people
hold on to recalled products
even if they know they've--
they're dangerous?
Well, most people
collect any product
because they think
it is a collector's item.
That is, it's valuable.
So, I imagine
if you had a bottle,
a jar with something in it,
like a screw or a bolt or a nut,
that probably would be
an interesting collector's item.
Wilson:
You never really thought
of it like that before.
That something you
thought was defective
could actually become
a collectible one day.
♪
Maybe if we just
take care of objects
that nobody else wants,
they might actually
end up in a museum.
And there could
even be hidden value
inside of your stuff
if you could just learn
how to crack the code.
(dolly rattling)
This is the Mattel
Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid,
and it was recalled
because it was
Instead of eating the snacks
that came in the box,
it was actually eating
children's hair.
-Wilson: What kind of
batteries does it take?
-Cabbage Patch Lady: "C."
That's the problem
is that it doesn't stop
after you give it the food.
Wilson:
So, this could, like,
potentially scalp a, a child?
(water running)
Yeah. Yeah,
it, it probably could.
Wilson:
How-how much is something
like this worth?
Cabbage Patch Lady:
I think around $500 right now.
-Wilson: Really? Wow.
-Cabbage Patch Lady: Yeah.
(doll motor whirring)
Wilson:
Whenever I'm bored,
I like to cruise around
on the free section
of Craigslist.
It's filled with items that
people have decided
they don't want anymore,
but they can't bring themselves
to throw away for some reason.
A lot of these
objects would make
the perfect piece of trash,
but they still feel like
they could be of value
to somebody else.
You saw that someone
was actually trying
to give away
some old batteries.
They looked like they were
from the 1950s or something,
and you thought maybe
they could be worth
something one day.
So, you go to their house
to, uh, meet up with them.
So, wh-wh-why are you getting
rid of these batteries?
My ex had them decorating
the top of shelves he built,
which you can see
the remains of over there.
I liked them. I liked him.
They reminded me of him.
Wilson:
Is there anything
else that you,
like, held on to from
your last relationship
that's hard to get rid of?
Yeah, I still got
my wedding rings. (laughs)
-Wilson: Oh, really?
-Yeah.
Do you, do you plan on getting
rid of them anytime soon?
No. (laughs) I guess I
because I feel
super guilty. Uh, I
I don't think I could
get rid of them,
but I also don't ever
think I could wear them.
I got all my--
Like, I have five things
in my room.
My stack of clothes,
my disco lamp.
And then, this is
-It's my cat's ashes.
-Wilson: In there?
Yeah, she was born and then
died in this apartment, so
Wilson:
Maybe getting rid
of painful stuff is
more complicated
than it seems
because even if you
don't have a use for it,
you still can't bear
to see it thrown away.
And when you go back to your
apartment and look around
you realize how much
unnecessary stuff
you've had lying
around for years, too.
♪
Some of it is sentimental.
Some of it might
become valuable.
And some of the stuff
you keep around
is emotionally radioactive.
When I was growing up,
I used to make a movie
every single day.
I still have all the tapes
that I keep in a box
in my apartment.
But, I never show
them to anyone
because they're too
embarrassing to watch.
(fart noises)
I even made a feature film
when I was in high school.
It was a Christmas movie
called "Jingle Berry,"
and it took over
three years to make.
When the time came
for the premiere, uh,
I introduced the movie
with my friend Chris,
and then ran upstairs to man
the merch table in case
anyone wanted to buy
one of the 200 handmade DVDs
that we'd prepared
for the event.
But when the movie
was finally over,
everyone that exited the
theater walked directly past
and tried to avoid
eye contact with me.
♪
I didn't sell a single copy
to anyone that came.
And it was one of
the most painful experiences
of my entire life.
(clears throat)
I also screened it
for my parents,
and my own father
told me that
it was the worst movie
he had ever seen.
I was so embarrassed
afterwards that
I destroyed every
single disk that I made.
But for some reason,
I still hold on to one of them.
If I was hit by a bus one day,
it would be the last thing
I'd want anyone to discover.
And there has to be some reason
we hold on to stuff like this.
(inaudible)
-(rummaging)
-(sighs)
Okay
Okay
(sighs)
-Okay.
-Wilson: Oh wow.
Um, this was brought back
by my Uncle Bernie
who fought in
the 45th Infantry
during World War II.
Wilson:
How long do you feel like
you'll hold on to this?
Bernie's Nephew:
Um
It is
I, I, I don't really know.
I mean, this is not something
we would casually
throw out in the trash.
For one thing (laughs)
I certainly wouldn't want,
you know, any municipal
sanitation worker
to find a Nazi flag
in our trash can
-Wilson: Right.
-(laughs) for starters.
It's just,
you know, it's like
-"the very symbol of evil."
-Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Which it is, but it's also
-a crappy piece of cloth.
-Wilson: Yeah.
And, you know,
maybe, maybe there's
something to be said
for like not fetishizing it
the way we do.
This is the warehouse
where we store
approximately
1.2 million items
that have either been
confiscated or seized by
the US Fish and Wildlife Service
Office of Law Enforcement.
If you can imagine
a product of some kind,
it's probably here
in one form or another.
This is one of our
more unique objects.
It is a tiger fetus
that has been taxidermied
for preservation,
A phrase that, that we
sometimes find ourselves
saying here is,
"bad taste is not a crime."
It probably should be,
but it is not.
Yeah, these are really awful.
Just awful.
Some of this stuff will
remain here indefinitely,
and, and I would say
when I say indefinitely,
I really do mean, um,
at least for the lifetime
of the repository.
Wilson: Uh,
what's the benefit of
preserving it over
destroying it?
Um, even though
they're no longer,
you know,
living creatures,
they still play
a significant role
in getting the message out
about conservation
and, and combating
the illegal trade.
(birds chirping)
Amputee:
A speeding motorcycle
collided into me,
clipped me, and took
my leg off right away.
Basically, I was
told that this leg
was no longer a part of me.
This wasn't even
a human anymore.
I think they called it
like biological waste
or something like that.
And now it was
the property of them.
It was no longer my property,
and that was just
I couldn't even--
I couldn't even accept that.
They don't want you
taking your leg, and, and
mailing it to the
to the president
or something.
So, um (laughs)
there's a liability there,
and it's understandable.
Wilson:
Why would you wanna mail
your leg to the president?
Well, you know,
people do crazy things.
So, yeah, after
about a dozen no's, I was
finally able to convince
someone
to give me my leg back.
Wilson:
Wow.
Does it, does it
make you upset to,
to see this every day?
No! No, I, I, I love it!
To me, this is a treasure.
Like, I, I will
gladly display this.
I will, I will
I will put this on
the fireplace mantle.
I, you know,
this is my talking piece,
this is everything to me.
It's priceless. I couldn't--
I could never
I could never put a tag on it.
Wilson:
Maybe all it takes is
a shift in perspective.
And if you begin to see
something traumatic
in a positive light,
it can be something that
actually makes you feel good.
♪
So, you sit down to
watch "Jingle Berry"
for the first time
since the premiere.
Maybe you just misremembered
how bad it was,
and you were really just being
a little too hard on yours--
-No, Scrimsly, no! You can't!
-(dramatic music)
I need you now more
than I ever, ever did!
Wilson:
No, no, no. Uh,
and on second thought,
you might actually
need to find a way
to put it somewhere
where, uh, it can never
hurt anyone else
ever, ever again.
What's the most responsible
thing to do with toxic material?
Well
(laughs)
try not making it,
but that's, um
That's one of the reasons
why, personally,
I figure that we shouldn't be
having new nuclear power plants
till we figure out
where we're putting
the waste we've generated.
The Waste Isolation Pilot Plant
is where they're disposing
of radioactive wastes,
and the project was
how do you mark the site
and have it be
intelligible for 10,000 years?
You don't know which
language is gonna survive.
Certain facial expressions
work across cultures.
-Wilson: Mm-hm.
-Something like this,
which would say
it's not a good place to be,
should be on there.
You've got hurt,
you've got pain,
and as time goes on,
the hazard from these
wastes diminish.
I mean, no one
likes the idea of being
near toxic stuff,
and particularly toxic stuff
you don't know was toxic.
And that's part of the reason
to tell people that you
really don't wanna be here.
♪
Wilson:
I used to live on
the most radioactive block
in New York City.
In the 1950s,
they used to dump
hazardous waste into the sewer
underneath, uh, this deli
because they didn't know
what else to do with it.
The city tried to
block the radiation
by covering it with heavy
lead and steel plates,
but that was only
a temporary fix,
and the radiation will
still keep harming people
until they fully
excavate the site
and displace everyone above it.
Maybe it's such a low priority
because there's
no obvious solution,
and it's easier to just
ignore what's there.
Supposedly on Randall's Island,
there's more housing
for sex offenders
than anywhere else
in New York City.
They're pretty strict,
as I understand.
You can't be by schools,
you can't be by
(truck drives by)
can't live with
a thousand feet of a,
a school,
can't be by children
under the age of 17.
But, you still have to have
a place for them to go.
And, for some reason,
they picked Randall's Island,
which is a little strange to me.
Wilson:
Do you think a lot of people
here know that they're so close?
I, I, I doubt it.
I doubt that they even
have a clue that they're here.
You can see there's
a park right there.
If you turn around,
kids are playing in the parks,
and they got about
27 fields like that
on this island.
And right there,
sex offenders.
Right there.
You wouldn't even know
If I showed you them,
you wouldn't even--
Like, "no way." Like,
I don't know how I look,
but most people
would never suspect
that I'm a sex offender.
-You know what I'm saying?
-Wilson: Did you
I mean,
I clean up good sometimes,
you know what I'm sayin'?
I'm homeless now
because I can't live
in certain situations
-because of my level 2
sex offense.
-(truck beeping)
I was in with these crazy
child molesters and shit.
I couldn't deal with it.
Most of the sex offenders
in New York City
go through this
system right here,
and most of them
go to Clark Thomas.
This is where you get
off at, right there.
That's the stop, and you go
to Clark Thomas right there.
It's the worst possible bus
that you could get on.
However you call
the one in Afghanistan?
That's what that bus is like.
Most of the people that make
the decisions about these places
haven't experienced
these places.
They just come up
with an idea, like,
"That would be great.
Let's go live on the moon."
You never been to the moon!
But, "Let's go live on the moon!
"Let's make some
housing on the moon.
That shit would be great!"
And they make it on the moon,
then they realize, "Damn.
There's no atmosphere here.
How are we gonna live here?"
With being a sex offense,
you definitely have
to admit to it.
Even in the programs
that they put you in,
if you don't admit it,
you're not going home.
And a lot of people
admit it just to go home.
Wilson:
Have you admitted it
to yourself?
At first, I didn't.
I was in denial.
I was in denial.
Even talking about it now,
I don't even wanna
fully get into it
because I start to cry when
I even think about what I did
and what I did to her,
and what I did to me
and my family.
You know what I mean?
I've been selfish my whole life,
so I think about it,
of course, but
I haven't forgiven myself
for what I've done.
I'm still living with that
right now, you know what I mean?
Trying to forgive myself
for what I've done.
So, you know,
even if she forgave me
(stammering)
I got to forgive me.
You know what I mean?
I can't-- I gotta forgive me,
and it's hard for me to do that.
♪
Wilson:
Maybe your past
isn't something
that you can just throw away.
Because it'll always be part
of you in one way or another.
As I was about to
leave the island,
I saw that a fire
started in the trashcan
at the bus stop we passed.
And it didn't really seem
to faze anybody there.
And even though I was
standing right next to it
the whole time,
I still had no idea
how it started.
This is just another day
in a shelter system, man.
This is what they do.
You're dealing
with mentally ill people, man.
Like what do you expect
when you put a bunch
of mentally challenged people
and you're not helping them?
(Wilson speaking)
It's about to go out,
but it's still dangerous.
Fumes and shit like that.
Officer:
Hit at the bottom, the bottom!
(indistinct chatter)
(inaudible)
(birds chirping)
♪
Wilson:
Once you decide something
is a piece of trash,
it becomes hard to see
it as anything else.
Even though there's
still a part of you
in there somewhere.
And if you don't
figure out the right way
to deal with all your stuff,
it could end up doing lasting
damage to somebody else.
So even if your problem seems
insignificant in the moment,
you should find a way to deal
with it while you still can.
Because once you're able
to recognize the person
that you were, you can
finally start to work on
who you want to become.
And then you might not
have to throw anything out.
Because even if something
seems toxic now,
there's a good chance
it'll be valuable
to someone else one day,
and could even be used
to educate them
-about what not to do.
-(clang)
So long as you warn them about
the stuff that
you left behind,
they should be able to decide
how close they
want to get to it.
And even though you feel bad
for having created a mess
in the first place,
future generations
will thank you
for doing the right thing.
This is John Wilson.
Thanks for watching.
(dogs barking
"Happy Birthday")
(howl)
-(barking stops)
-(paper crinkling)
♪